uhh short NSFW blurb based on this tweet, and this tumblr post. solo peter, goodbye 🫣🫣🫣
ever since he'd gotten bit, his stamina has gotten a lot crazier, as did his...well, his refractory period. all that set up is to say, it is 2 in the morning and peter is still up, one hand around his grossly wet cock, flushed from head to toe. his hips twitched every once in a while, jolting upwards to fuck into the loose grip he held, tearing an overstimulated sob from his chest. it just- it all started with this face cream that wade was trying out.
"heyy there spidey~ gonna try this on my avocado crater butterface, see if it makes the sores a little less sore, think it'll work?"
in short, no, obviously, given that all of deadpool's skin replaces itself every 5 seconds due to the constant fighting against his cancer, it'd be like moisturizing the skin of some fucked up baby. but, naturally, wade didn't care and slathered his body in it anyway, and, well.
"think there's somethin' in here that makes male spiders get all horned up, watch out petey!"
he was not counting on that actually affecting him. not really. but sometimes the spidery parts of him went deeper than he was aware of and now, here he is, twitching and hard in his bed after coming about 5 times already, one of wade's extra masks gripped tight in his free hand. the merc had worn it recently, and the residue of the cream mixed with the man's normal smell—ugh, all words and ideas that disgusted him on a normal day—contributing to the whole...horned up nature of this problem.
how he felt about wade, in general, contributed as well.
peter didn't particularly like the man, for a while; never really a distinct hatred, either, but definitely an annoyance he didn't feel with most people. the merc just got under his skin in a highly specific way, both in his general personhood and in the way he approached hero-ing—though, wade would never say or think anything like that about what he does. he's too violent, too careless with human life, and while he doesn't kill people when they work together (thankfully), it's still something peter is aware of. it's the faint smell of blood splattered on his suit that he's able to pick up occasionally. the long and convoluted stories of hey pete, did'ja know 'bout the time i disemboweled a guy on one of them midwestern highways? freeways? whatever they're called, big grey road, absolutely covered in guts—
snapping out of the memory of the conversation, which somehow didn't kill the vibe, he was reminded of the hand that was slowly palming his cock, noticing that his eyes were closed as he focused on that sensation. focused on the way that wade's faint blood and sweat odor (which he was beginning to miss, at this point) had been completely drowned out by the scent of this lotion. it was just vanilla! like, a vanilla bean concoction or something. but that first day? wade had come up to him and stood right inside his personal space, as he often did, almost chest to chest and lifted his mask, then wafting his face so the smell could reach peter.
little did the idiot know, he'd been able to tell when wade got to the roof.
"how is it? day one of trying it, can't super tell if it works, but hope it at least smells nice! i think it's a little light on smell."
he'd bought the facial cream, sneaking into sephora to buy some and desperately hoping no one noticed how on edge he was about it. just reading the ingredients was enough to prove that wade hadn't been lying about the "something in there" that pertained to spiders, and he did that online immediately before his little shopping spree. he didn't need to buy any for himself, it would be counterproductive.
that night, he'd ended up in a similar state, drooling into his pillow as he humped into his hand, slick with the lotion. and the night after. and again, yesterday.
wade was still annoying, and a little shit who intended to make peter's life a living hell, but he was entertaining it because he'd gotten begrudgingly used to it. comforted by it, by not being alone, really. his quips being responded to with worse ones, a back and forth that often had him biting back laughter in a fight. the post-gaming ritual of said fights and informal patrols of downing way too much food for two guys to get through in one sitting, but taking in their respective healing factors and metabolism, they put away food easily. and the flirting, the constant and annoying to embarrassing flirting—the innuendos. particularly what came to mind was how he'd gotten the mask he was currently...defiling.
wade had come over a few days ago (right before he'd gone to buy the cream, he realized, much to his own shame and the low moan as he properly gripped his dick) to help patch him up, not for the first time but the first since this whole new skincare routine. peter was mostly naked out of necessity, just in the only kind of briefs that worked with the suit, for bandages and stitches on his torso and a nasty gash on his thigh, that's all, and—
"jeez, pete, somebody's packin' down here. i wanna say i wouldn't've guessed but those suits are skin tight my man, but- okay, okay, i'll get back to sewing up your leg."
peter's breath shook as he opened his eyes, glazed over gaze sliding over to the deadpool mask in his free hand as the shame and embarrassment slowly began to clear. the man had left it by accident, texting him a few hours after he'd departed to 'keep my face safe for me petey pie xoxoxo'. he was alone in his apartment, shitty and small, and no one needed to know.
wade didn't need to know.
he brought the mask to his face, still turned inside out to the part that actually pressed against the man's skin, and his whole body shuddered as the overwhelming lingering scent of vanilla and something else hit him again.
"fuck, wade-" he grunted, fingertips ghosting over his cock just enough to have him thrusting his hips up into the air, chasing after the friction. he didn't need to be teasing himself, shouldn't be prolonging this experience longer than he needed to, but...it felt so good.
he didn't register approximately one minute later when he came, nose and mouth smushed to the thankfully breathable mask. it did nothing to soothe the burning heat coiled in his stomach.
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