Your Local Boy-Girl-Spider Thing

21 ● any pronouns ● pan

[spiffyspidr]

Hi! My name is spiffyspidr, but my friends call me spiffy, and you can be my friend too!! <:

You can use any pronouns to refer to me!

I post a lot of different things, but you won't see me post all that often.

My current obsessions are moss, fungi, salamanders, beetles, orchids, and carnivorous plants :D

Tags I use:

#spiffy speaks

#spiffy replies

#spiffy and friends

#spiffy's sketchbook

#moss posting

#moss post monday

I hope you have a fantastic day you wonderful human being!! :3

As for any racists, sexists, homophobes, transphobes, terfs, radfems, pedos, bigots, etc...have an awful day and go away!!! c:

[spiffyspidr]

Here's a video of Bean-Sprout eating, cause you must see it! C:

[spiffyspidr]

Behold my long frogs! <:

The one in the pot is named Bean-Sprout and the one under the bark is named Smaug :3

[spiffyspidr]

Unsolicited ich(thy) pic 😈

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

woo i am such a fan of dramatic plants. just prissy fucking plantlife, be it unreasonable or implacable or ostentatious. plants, man

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

u know what yeah, let’s talk about weird nonsense plants

1. Living Stones

these plants imitate rocks. who does that?

imagine deciding to straight up evolve into rocks as a defense mechanism. i had a whole rant planned but now i’m remembering that i have, in the past, on multiple occasions, daydreamed about being a rock. like that has been a recurring theme in my rich inner fantasy life. i would not forsake the opportunity to evolve into a stone.

2. Hooker’s Lips

ostentatious. flamboyant. vulgar. garish. randy. dare i say whorish? yes. this plant is whorish.

pucker up you hussy

3. Hoya Hearts

overused trope. lacks subtlety and creativity. truly, they just went with the first thought to pop in their head, no brainstorming involved. “ho ho ho i’m just gonna grow into a fucking HEART, that’ll show em!” Needy & basic bitch. looks cute on a desk

4. Lifesaver Plants

manages to be both psychedelic and disapproving. reminiscent of a prudish great aunt–but like, one who did a lot of LSD in the 70s. evidence of an alien lifeform who crash landed and then decided, fuck it, i’m gonna rent a one-story in the midwest and decorate it with vintage wood paneling & floral upholstery. probably smells like stale weed and glass ashtrays

5. Happy Alien Flowers

yes that is their NAME. sort of anticlimactic, but take a gander:

they are absolute sluts for drama, as demonstrated by the little hussies pictured above are YELLING AT ME. they bring to mind seagulls engaged in a Shakespearean blood feud. this flowers have committed aggravated manslaughter and probably got away with it too.

6. Bat Plant 

aka Cat’s Whiskers aka Devil Flower. how fucking emo is that??? this plant listens to mcr and is probably the gay cousin. they never got the hang of eyeliner but that doesn’t stop them from trying, bless em. their impetuous devil-may-care persona is hindered by their crippling social anxiety. i’m immensely fond of this plant. they’ll come into their own once they graduate and move away from college, but in the mean time they sit with the tech crew at lunch. you go little Bat Plant! 

 7. Dancing Plants

total band kids. also called Semaphore Plants, bc they look like they’re trying to flag down a plane. nifty fuckers 

in conclusion, three cheers for whiny, namby-pamby, scatterbrained plantlife

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so you’ll reblog THIS and my Non-Comprehensive List of Cursed Bird That Piss Me Off, but Whimsical Creatures Failing To Tempt Me Into The Ocean is where tumblr draws the line huh

[wheres-lostboy]

I am absolutely delighted to show you this orchid the ‘Naked Man’. It’s an orchid native to the Mediterranean and it looks like a lil dude with a tiny penis

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

PROPORTIONALLY SPEAKING

[spiffyspidr]

Can't forget about Rhizanthella gardneri! (:

Believe it or not, this weird looking alien egg sac is actually an orchid.

In my opinion it's basically the plant version of the spoiled rich kid that likes to think they're better than everyone else, who eventually gets kicked out of the house where they have to get a job and do everything themself.

They have very obviously spent too much time in their room with the curtains drawn and probably forgot what the sun looks like, because it seems to have decided that it's too good for leaves and chlorophyll.

This antisocial bastard spends it's entire life cycle underground, and only very rarely breaches the surface when it's horny.

The only reason this prissy bitch is alive is because it parasitizes off of it's friends, a broombush and a fungus, who feel bad for it because it can't make it's own food.

[formerlyluckymanticore]

Reblog if you will never. Ever. Use AI in your writing.

[chaos-ducks]

Absolutely never.

[spiffyspidr]

It's absolutely unacceptable that not enough people have seen my lizard 😡

So here he is, my sweet baby boy, my beautiful son <:

His name is Clemont and I love him very much! :3

[coast-modern]

just mispelled mental illness the worst anyones ever done it .

[coast-modern]

[gay-pippin]

yesss precious we can reclaim, we have a menwtol smeeness

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

PHRASE ADDED!

"menwtol smeeness" (said in a gollum voice)

[bowelflies]

Tetraphalerus bruchi (Coleoptera: Ommatidae)

[thesecrethistoryofthefootclan]

[ID: Tetraphalerus bruchi from various angles: the side of its body, the side of its head, the bottom, and the top of its head. End ID.]

[revretch]

I love this beautiful and extremely weird beetle! This family has preserved the characteristics most ancestral to all living beetles. We had beetles that looked like this back when the griffenfly (two-foot-long relative of dragonflies) still flew the Earth!

[xanaxfarts]

Technology that has been reclaimed by nature

[yhancik]

Most if not all of them are by artist Michel Blazy

https://www.instagram.com/michelblazy/

[your-local-house-cricket]

uses him to scroll on tumblr for 2 hours

[spiffyspidr]

I met him!! I saw one of these guys during the summer, and I can tell you they are a sight to behold! :3

They are known as Hololepta aequalis and they are so unbelievably flat and rectangle, and I love them so much!!! <:

EDIT: The one in the picture is apparently not H. aequalis, it's actually Hololepta plana, which is significantly flatter and has shorter mandibles! C:

[privatejoker]

jungle wouldn’t take me so I took it home

prints

tips

[lyragoth]

Your comments about AI users being talentless tells me you don't really understand art. It's about the product, not the tools. You can waste your life learning how to use a thousand of brushes and programs and you'll be easily outshone by someone who uses AI to draw what they want. The 'talentless' usually crow on about techniques and tools and miss the point of making art.

"You can waste your life learning how to use a thousand brushes and programs" And there, this is the attitude of the non-artists-AI-lovers in a nutshell. You see, drawing artists like using brushes. "Someone who uses AI to draw what they want."

No. If you instruct the AI to do something, you aren't 'drawing' anything. "The talentless" The 'talentless' is you. Telling an AI what image you want to be drawn doesn't require any talent.

[theofficialinternetloner]

"It's about the product." That sentence right there tells me everything I need to know about this person. Art is NOT about the product; it's about the journey. It's about creation. It's about expression. Capitalism/consumerism has really rotted people's brains to the point where even art has to be commodified, and AI is a symptom of that disease.

Nothing will ever trump learning how to write, how to draw, how to create. You can tell yourself that you're talented and that people like OP will be "outshone" by those using AI to "draw" all you want, anon, but at the end of the day, you lack skill and patience and even the will to try. And the thing that hurts you the most is that no matter how much work you steal, the creators of said work have the power to make more and you do not. You are a thief and a coward.

[collemblogging]

you wouldn't believe what thing I keep finding out there (Vitronura giselae)

[spiffyspidr]

That's a living gummybear if I've ever seen one :3

[cipher-of-the-round-table]

Right, considering the current state of corporate politics on this site, and that it seems that only those affected seem to be actively speaking on the matter, it is up to I, the only fucking cishet on tumblr, to drag this out to a wider audience.

REBLOG IF YOUR ACCOUNT IS A TRANSFEM SAFE SPACE.

We need to show these higher ups how much we truly value them.

[icechucker]

Me and all my blogs are

[obsessed-loser]

Sure

[icechucker]

What?

[obsessed-loser]

Sorry, not you.... I didn't read you're repost part so I was saying sure to the post, not questioning you.. Sorry😓

[icechucker]

Oh okay, I thought we had beef I didn't know about lol

[obsessed-loser]

Nah, I just can't pay attention

[56kilobits]

i've been obsessed with this video so i downloaded the video file off of youtube so even if the internet goes down i can always watch frogtimelapse.mp4

[segamascott]

[otteroflore]

alright everyone is being sassy but nobody has brought up the actual reason why scientists are interested in the titanic in the notes

Per wikipedia:

The Titanic was made of steel, presumably to resist corrosion (i mean. thats why boats are made of steel i assume) but even when iron/steel rusts people did not expect to find like. decomposition. bacteria are EATING the titanic.

and there's wood furniture from the titanic that isn't decaying. hell, there are wood ships at the bottom of the ocean that archaeologists study. so the expectation people have for the titanic is not that the steel would decompose at the bottom of the ocean. Even in 100 years, since there are much more ancient preserved wooden ships iirc.

(im not particularly knowledgeable about ships, i just had heard about the science going on around the titanic so i wanted to clarify that on this post for people)

[shoresoftheshadowlands]

[sailor-arashi]

The Titanic is an exceptionally weird whalefall basically.

[claraschaos]

Not a marine biologist but biologist enough to weigh in on this. The reason we have iron eating bacteria but not wood eating bacteria at the bottom of the ocean is simple. Hydrothermal vents release a cocktail of different mineral ores into the ocean. And bacteria and other organisms evolved alongside those so they evolved to digest these, like iron or other metal ores

Wood however does not exist at the bottom of the ocean since it basically never sinks down, even when logs are flushed out into the ocean they basically never end up at the ocean floor. So there's no bacteria that evolved to decompose lignin, which is already complex enough to decompose on the surface. And that's why wooden ships or the furniture on the Titanic stay intact for hundreds of years or longer.

[lobo-cansado-de-ojos-rojos]

Okay, but I remember reading a magazine stating that the titanic would basically be gone by now because of the rust eating the ship.

The sister ship HMHS Britannic is still perfectly preserved because of the way it sank, and partly in due to the coral that has grown around it keeping the structure in tact I believe was the reason.

[theminingdwarf]

Coral acting like a living fossil specifically for sunken ships is the coolest thing I've ever heard

[kyraneko]

So lemme get this straight, the Titanic is a whalefall, the Britannic is a biological mummy, and all the wood ships that sink into the deep ocean are preserved incorrupt because nothing can eat them.

Zombie, mummy, lich, respectively.

[bogleech]

I just want to add that wood may not end up in the deep sea constantly enough to have caught the interest of bacteria, but the deep ocean has an echinoderm we call a "sea daisy" that only eats wood.

[spiffyspidr]

This is so fuckign cool!!!! :D