The Lightning-Speed Waltz

Being the random posts and reblogs of a ♀ gay married older than dirt hiking-obsessed crybaby. 

[sailor-arashi]

Maximum Comfy.

[stuckinapril]

Truest thing ever unfortunately

[morgenstern16]

[bogleech]

Does tumblr know about that Papa Johns sauce bottle pissing everyone off on all the other social media?

Its for a good reason but it's kind of also undeniably funny. It really looks like that.

[impossiblepackage]

there’s no way that can be legal

[darael]

You have an awful lot of faith in American consumer protections.

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

just had a disconcerting thought

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

how do u pronounce georg of spiders fame

gay-org

george

other

Remaining time: 3 days 8 hours

[mevil]

my beautiful wife that is scared of a closed window at night

[slitherpunk]

[birdyaviary]

[sailor-arashi]

[firethekitty]

top 5 me posts of all time

[sailor-arashi]

That's pretty much what it's for. It artificially provides the chemical reward for doing tasks, so you will get locked in on any task you stumble upon. You gotta be careful not to get sidetracked on your way to what you're supposed to be doing, or you'll never get there.

[hyenasarecutedammit]

Everybody be on HIGH ALERT... …. ……this could be dangerous 

[lesbianredpanda]

sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

When I was in uni my housemates had a baby, and we taught them some sign language so they could communicate before all their mouth parts were coordinated yet. None of us knew Auslan but two of us were familiar with the signs that the State Emergency Services used in the field so we worked with those.

The kid learned to request a drink, which is great, because that's like the #1 most important thing for a baby to be able to request, but instead of learning any of the other signs they just used modified versions of the drink sign to ask for all kinds of things. They couldn't actually make the proper drink sign (it requires some level of hand control) and used a modified wave, so they ended up with a whole bunch of subtly different waves to ask for stuff. Which was pretty fun in public because strangers would coo over this adorable baby who kept waving at them when, in practice, the baby wanted their ice cream.

[kushblazer666]

[flowercrownsylveon]

[confluence-and-drift]

Metal hoodie Kuroe-tan is adorable.

[confluence-and-drift]

Another Metal-hoodie Kuroe-tan from that chapter.

[pangur-and-grim]

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

[pangur-and-grim]

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

[kholdseid]

[sighinastorm]

As dandelions to sidewalks, so onions to refrigerators.

[the-haiku-bot]

As dandelions

to sidewalks, so onions to

refrigerators.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[shegayonmygirl]

so many fucking bug bites. miserable.

[shegayonmygirl]

when will it be a girl biting me!!!!!

[agenderwerewolfgirlfriend]

Girl mosquitos r the ones who bite so ur getting bit by so many girls

[shegayonmygirl]

ok well could they stop making the bites so gosh darn itchy!!!

[sailor-arashi]

That's not their fault, you're just allergic to their bites.

[postalswag]

its a mystery , nobody knows

[quietwingsinthesky]

friend is trying to convince me this is a common experience and I do not believe her, so

Do you expect to be paid back if you pay for something for your friend while you’re hanging out? (I.E. a ride, a meal, a trinket.)

Yes, always

Yes, but only if it’s above a limit of money

No, never

I don’t buy things for my friends.

bald button

Remaining time: 13 hours 32 minutes

For a more illustrative example, say you go to the movies with a friend and you buy them popcorn, do you expect them at some point to send you money back via cash or through an app of some kind? Will you be upset if they don’t?

[cheddar-baby]

[wizardshark]

Gonna want the sound on for this one boys

[randomdeinonychus]

One of the all-time great videos.

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP made a set of pink Transformers armor for his daughter. (cr 张帅有个女儿)

[nattousan]

"He loved her to the point of invention" 🥹