The Lightning-Speed Waltz

Being the random posts and reblogs of a ♀ gay married older than dirt hiking-obsessed crybaby. 

[sailor-arashi]

Maximum Comfy.

[crabussy]

I asked my five year old cousin what he would do if there was a scary skeleton and he said "I would pour water on it and then kick it" and I've been losing my shit laughing crying about a wet skeleton for about fifteen minutes straight

[crabussy]

he was so delighted by my fits of giggles that he drew eight wet skeletons for me

[eyewishing]

IM SITTING EATING DINNER AT MY DESK AND MY CLOSED LAPTOP JUST SIGHED AT ME??? LIKE THE FANS WHIRRED FOR A SECOND IT WAS LIKE hHHHhhhh

[eyewishing]

here comes the airp;ane

[innerchildabortionclinic]

if cats don't want to be grabbed and cuddled they need to stop being such optimal size and shape for that activity

[prokopetz]

Some games on Steam use the "Female Protagonist" tag the same way live-action Disney films get promoted for gay representation. I once bumped into a game that was tagged "Female Protagonist" because there's an interactive cutscene where a female NPC is briefly controllable. You walk across a room.

[prokopetz]

The tag search doesn't look too bad if you go with "sort by relevance" because that tends to make the ones with actual female protagonists float to the top, but under literally any other sorting it's like:

First-person open world RPG that lets you pick "she/her" at chargen (note: you are never referred to in the third person)

Visual novel where the all-but-faceless viewpoint character is explicitly male, but the plot centres on the woman he's dating

Party-based game where the male lead does all the talking, but your party has girls in it

Plotless puzzle game where the game board has a picture of a woman next to it

Street Fighter 6, for some reason

[st-just]

Warhammer 40,000 is of course, uh, not unproblematic. But patterning orks specifically and incredibly blatantly off English football hooligan culture was probably simultaneously the least bigoted and most creative thing literally anyone did with the concept of 'the orc' at any point in the 1980s

[vorochi]

I’ve been idly wanting to see analysis from people smarter than me on characters like Nagash and factions like the tomb kings. I’m not strongly familiar with racist tropes, so I’m very curious what people who are think of them.

[dilftanger]

crayon

one syllable

two syllables

Remaining time: 5 days 20 hours

*put the region of the world you’re from in the tags if you’d like!

[itznarcotic]

that's right

[bugged-ubuntu]

Today's episode of my YouTube video series is sponsored by; Some Fucking Scam

Some Fucking Scam, it seems a little sketchy now, but its lent legitimacy by the number of people they're paying to talk about it. Five years from now there will be a four hour video essay about how its a fucking scam and stole millions of dollars and leaked literally all of your data, but right now? It seems mildly convenient.

Give your money to Some Fucking Scam, because literally Every. Single. Thing. advertised by a YouTuber is a grift.

[halondrus]

Grabbing an elf by the ears like handlebars and riding them but not like in a sexual way i just crash into a wall killing us both

[boobachu]

[miamignonette]

[miamignonette]

[victusinveritas]

God, can you imagine someone from Finland (or wherever) heading to a Midwestern state fair and eating every variety of fried thing imaginable?

[lumiklovstad]

I can, and arguably I must.

[babystarbeam]

I always think that sport events, especially international ones, are primarily about fun and cultural exchange and hanging out together; it gets lost sometimes when people pay too much attention to keeping scores, but joy and building bridges should be more important. So glad this seems to be happening right now!

[raychleadele]

I don’t follow soccer at all so I have no feelings on the World Cup, but I’m loving seeing people discover the US for the first time and finding joy here.

[dogpuppy]

[sailor-arashi]

It's a copperhead.

[itswalky]

bit of a longshot, but by any chance do you have the IW! "Oasis" limited print? most of the other prints from that time seem to be either archived on wayback or reuploaded by you elsewhere, but I couldn't find that one anywhere. (I'm mainly interested because sal was on the thumbnail that wayback archived, lol)

Dug it up!

[gayvampyr]

important things happening in r/cats

[projectorthus]

X Men Red if the writers weren’t cowards.

Happy pride month!

[projectorthus]

This one's making the repost rounds on twitter, it seems. Just in time for pride month.

So I'm self-reblogging because I drew it, and that's my right.

[moth-grrrl-mavis]

Totally straight thing to say before someone dives into your memories.

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline