The Lightning-Speed Waltz

Being the random posts and reblogs of a ♀ gay married older than dirt hiking-obsessed crybaby. 

[sailor-arashi]

Maximum Comfy.

[catboybiologist]

Imagine if a like 8 foot tall guy that looked kinda like an alien species just kinda showed up at the house you rent a room in and crashed on the couch and at first everyone hated him but you kinda just accepted this weird massive kinda-human alien species thing as a part of your group even though he's like twice the size of everyone else there

[catboybiologist]

Cuz that's literally happening to sea lions in San Francisco right now

[catboybiologist]

So there's two species of sea lion in North America: the California sea lion, ranging along California (including Baja) but not ranging into the north coast or into oregon

And the Stellar's sea lion, which are WAY bigger and live in Washington, British Columbia, and Alaska

A male Stellars sea lion showed up in SF like a month ago and just kinda. Didn't know what to do, and joined a colony of California sea lions, and is just kinda chilling there now.

[catboybiologist]

Weird vagrant species happen from time to time, but this is just a particularly funny instance of a highly social species getting very lost, and just trying to blend in with its closest nearby relatives

[mybigfatgaylife]

his name is Chonkers

[sandersstudies]

My Shakespeare students (they are 12) wanted to summarize the lessons they learned this semester. If. Um. Anybody would like to see.

[sandersstudies]

I cannot emphasize enough that they made these with very little input from me.

Henry the Fifth

- ALWAYS encourage others to do their best.

- NEVER talk about people behind their back.

Antony and Cleopatra

- ALWAYS check your produce for pests. [They liked this one so much made a rap about it.]

- NEVER count your chickens before they hatch.

Hamlet

- ALWAYS act decisively

- NEVER tell your girlfriend to go to a convent and become a nun [Oh boy they REALLY liked this one]

Romeo and Juliet

- ALWAYS collect all the important information before making an important decision

- NEVER bite your thumb at us, sir. [They enacted this scene in the original language a lot, except they swapped every “sir” for “bro.”]

The Merchant of Venice

- ALWAYS pay your debts.

- NEVER judge based on appearances, because “all that glisters is not gold.”

The Tempest

- ALWAYS try to forgive others.

- NEVER be a colonizer. [Yes, a middle schooler said this]

Midsummer Night’s Dream

- ALWAYS stay on forest trails

- NEVER fall in love with an ass. [They were excited about this one for obvious reasons.]

Twelfth Night

- ALWAYS stay in touch with those important to us

- NEVER read other people’s mail

Macbeth

- ALWAYS wash your hands. [One of the girls performed Lady Macbeth’s entire Out Damn Spot monologue at the end of the semester]

- NEVER succumb to peer pressure.

[tatzelwurming]

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

[e-102]

you’ are biased against my skull

[tatzelwurming]

i’m not having this argument again man

[the-big-mood]

I didn’t realize there were so many people getting destroyed by mattresses 😂

[theswordofdamntheseknees]

I love these so much.

[genjichu]

[loyalsquire]

I'm learning so much about princesses on tumblr dot com

[suigintou]

i just felt someone right click me

[superchat]

[julia-miraclerat]

Can you believe it! Torn apart by dogs again!

[therobotwig]

One year ago today I posted this miniature Star Wars Andor inspired photo I created. Shot practically using real figures, lighting & a couple of broom heads to create a crop field and a few perspective cheats.

[hikari-ni-naritai]

[smbc-comics]

We’re raising funds to print a brand new book of compiled SMBC comics on Kickstarter right now! check out our project for Parenting - An SMBC Collection

"Everything" is one of the comics that will be included!

Original comic : https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2013-09-08

───── ◆ ───── ◆ ───── ◆ ─────

SMBC ◆ PATREON ◆ INSTAGRAM ◆ BLUESKY ◆ STORE

[forcewound]

by talos this can’t be happening is a mandela effect because the actual phrase is by the gods this can’t be happening and i’ve never heard anyone say the former in game

[andthentheywilleatthestars]

by talos this can’t be happening

[zpamtondiedinablender]

the phrase by talos this can’t be happening is actually from a rupaul roleplay blog who left their husband in a cage with no food and water for a few weeks and the husband died sorry to be the spoil sport but it does have an origin and it is a very tumblr origin in nature

[link-lonk]

Here’s the post they’re referring to for context

[regicide1997]

Oh. Skyrim husband.

[selectivegeekwithstandards]

oh god

[afamoore]

Oh Talos

[viss-and-pinegar]

I love seeing it when people find this out. I fucking love it.

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO WHY CAGE HUSBAND

[wallisninety-six]

Today’s Sunday.

[sixshotstothedome-deactivated20]

you have to rb this on a sunday every time u see this on ur dash

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

did I tell you guys that I used to work on a holiday park and I would test all the hot tubs and I got so good at being able to tell the temperature of them just with my hand I could do it to the .5 degree

anyway recently I had some polyps removed from my uterus which involves them shooting warm water up your pussy to help them see what they're doing or something idk but as soon as they did that I was like huh. do you have that set to 38⁰? and they were all like what the Fuck. anyway my pussy tells the temperature

[shiftythrifting]

George Washington thermometer

pay kay pay day

[silvermoon424]

[funeralcity]