The Lightning-Speed Waltz

Being the random posts and reblogs of a ♀ gay married older than dirt hiking-obsessed crybaby. 

[sailor-arashi]

Maximum Comfy.

[hikari-ni-naritai]

[smbc-comics]

We’re raising funds to print a brand new book of compiled SMBC comics on Kickstarter right now! check out our project for Parenting - An SMBC Collection

"Everything" is one of the comics that will be included!

Original comic : https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2013-09-08

───── ◆ ───── ◆ ───── ◆ ─────

SMBC ◆ PATREON ◆ INSTAGRAM ◆ BLUESKY ◆ STORE

[forcewound]

by talos this can’t be happening is a mandela effect because the actual phrase is by the gods this can’t be happening and i’ve never heard anyone say the former in game

[andthentheywilleatthestars]

by talos this can’t be happening

[zpamtondiedinablender]

the phrase by talos this can’t be happening is actually from a rupaul roleplay blog who left their husband in a cage with no food and water for a few weeks and the husband died sorry to be the spoil sport but it does have an origin and it is a very tumblr origin in nature

[link-lonk]

Here’s the post they’re referring to for context

[regicide1997]

Oh. Skyrim husband.

[selectivegeekwithstandards]

oh god

[afamoore]

Oh Talos

[viss-and-pinegar]

I love seeing it when people find this out. I fucking love it.

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO WHY CAGE HUSBAND

[wallisninety-six]

Today’s Sunday.

[sixshotstothedome-deactivated20]

you have to rb this on a sunday every time u see this on ur dash

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

did I tell you guys that I used to work on a holiday park and I would test all the hot tubs and I got so good at being able to tell the temperature of them just with my hand I could do it to the .5 degree

anyway recently I had some polyps removed from my uterus which involves them shooting warm water up your pussy to help them see what they're doing or something idk but as soon as they did that I was like huh. do you have that set to 38⁰? and they were all like what the Fuck. anyway my pussy tells the temperature

[shiftythrifting]

George Washington thermometer

pay kay pay day

[silvermoon424]

[funeralcity]

[corantus]

locked the fuck in get my money up

[skoomabong]

[unofficial-autism-post]

Unofficial Autism Post

[parkchanwoohoo]

[lazyadmiral]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[hollywolly3000]

Can you take your violent J tweet out of my home office its taking up a lot of space

[bacony-cakes]

DESTROY CENSORSHIP!!!!!!!

[flareonfloof]

ok that's an improvement but it's still in holly's home office

[dragongirltongue]

I sent the post to wet dry world is that better?

[hollywolly3000]

oohhh.h. its soggy now oooh,....... .. . . you soggyed it.......

[only-cat-memes]

[tamamoland-dark-queen-of-gehenna]

hitting the optimize button in the equip menu is an implicit agreement to put on whatever the fairy recommends

[no-pants-kayla]

"Nobody'll see it," she says, fully aware of the better stat breastplate with a boob window in the next dungeon.

[tamamolandael]

[tamamoland-with-a-gun]

I love you OP

[psshaw]

[lilifred]

everyone's talking about the ibs/autism haha funny comparison thing while I'm still stuck on the concept that hamsters exist in the wild. like naturally

tf do you mean they're a wild creature. you find those ankle-biters at the pet store

[psshaw]

Not a biologist, but the evolution of mammals is way more granular than you might expect. Humans are the sole surviving species of the genus Homo, which was a real party before the other ones went extinct. You're in for a fun time.

Domestic cats are believed to be domesticated not from tigers, but from the African wildcat:

Which evolved to be small just because it's sometimes more useful to be small.

And no, hamsters are not off-brand rats. They're part of the rodent order, which includes beavers, moles, capybaras, guinea pigs (yes, also wild) and lots of other fun things:

[thesecretuncle]

Shit. This dude knows an extreme amount about a niche subject. Crazy what you can accomplish when you have treatment resistant IBS

[psshaw]

I want it on record that I shit mostly normal.

[sailor-arashi]

[beemovieerotica]

[animentality]