The Lightning-Speed Waltz

Being the random posts and reblogs of a ♀ gay married older than dirt hiking-obsessed crybaby. 

[sailor-arashi]

Maximum Comfy.

[dogpuppy]

[eletenshi]

[eletenshi]

Can I add on with reblogs like this

[preyingforsnuff]

Really need a monster lady to bite viscously into my throat while she's railing me senseless btw

[hemipenal-system]

bites you molasses-style

[preyingforsnuff]

[brucebocchi]

[marvelousmop]

In my experience, they tend to actually go with the way dumber option of "Okay so this means that, every time we pit the hare against the tortoise, the tortoise would win, and therefore a tortoise can also beat all the other animals a hare could ordinarily beat in a race"

[rosekin]

"I should have made sure I got a full 16 hours the night before... this is Base Banana Slug I'm up against!"

[qqchurch]

[advanced-passenger-train]

[bed-bath-and-bazinga]

A story in three parts

[ommanyte]

Wahoo, it’s wiggly Wednesday!!!

[jones-friend]

[ommanyte]

YEEEAAAAAHHHH BABEEEEEEEEEY

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I dreamed that my crush hugged me and said we were just friends (in real life she knows I like her) and I was like ‘oh I can’t wait to tell the lesbian yearning tumblr community about this!’

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

tiktoks with vine energy pt. 19

[sailor-arashi]

"They're going right towards the sun"

Yeah, heat seeking missiles actually will do that, oddly enough.

[cerastes]

Fuuuck I just loss 20000 dollars in adverisement revenue and potential sales when that guy over there didn’t look at my flyer because he was talking to the girl he was walking with. The sensible option here is to ban talking while walking since it’s literally theft.

[neuronerdo]

I just finished The Three Musketeers, and this might be the best book I've ever read in my life, mostly because every single character is batshit insane and drunk for 90% of their Big Plot Decisions. Lights up on d'Artagnan: he's new in town and he's already making enemies. He meets his three best friends by scheduling back to back duels with them, under the assumption that he won't have to fight the last two if he dies in the first one. He is twenty years old and has never even heard of a frontal cortex. This is made evident by every word he says. Athos, Porthos, and Aramis are supposedly in their 20s-30s, but barely any better. The moment they have any money at all, they siphon it directly into their alcohol budget. They make enemies everywhere they go and get into almost as many duels as d'Artagnan. Also worth mentioning: they see this crazed 20-year-old and choose to devote their lives to him simply because he has good vibes. We've got the cardinal, who seems only tangentially related to any kind of clergyhood. We've got the king, whose main personality trait is that he HATES his wife. We've got the queen, whose main personality trait is cheating on her husband. We've got the Duke of Buckingham, who is (unfortunately) English. We've got the Love of d'Artagnan's Life, aka somebody else's wife but he sucks so he can get cuckolded. And finally, we've got the prototype female manipulator, a character written with such intense feminism AND misogyny that I scarcely know what to say about her except "go off, queen" as well as the occasional "I don't support all women, some of you are stupid." Do yourself a favor and commit 5-12 weeks to reading this book, if for no other reason than the part where d'Artagnan tells a guy "I'll spring you from jail, don't worry, it's all part of the plan!" and then immediately forgets him in prison and flirts with his wife.

[muddyswirls]

[pokemon-npcs]

“Are the Ditto Five responsible for this? The Ditto Five love humans so much that they transform into humans. They are very troublesome! They mean no harm, but they mess up people’s relationships, so they are registered as wanted Pokémon.”

[big-hungry-gryphon]

What did he do with the real Officer B

[fantaboy91]

Officer B shows up right after this scene. Though it’s heavily implied that Officer B was actually another Ditto that learned human speech all along.

[fantaboy91]

Since you asked for an explanation I will elaborate. I just re-played through Pokemon Ultra Sun so this is fresh on my mind. Basically when you do this side-quest, you search for the Ditto Five which are disguised as humans in Konikoni city of Akala island.

After the scene in this photo set, which is the start of the quest, Officer B returns and says how he was out on sick leave. Then you find the other four ditto disguised as the Lomilomi masseuse, the chef at the restaurant, the herbal medicine salesman and Olivia herself.

When you finished defeating or catching all five, Officer A thanks you and starts saying something along the lines of: Although they look identical to humans, the Ditto Five were easy to find because they can’t speak. But imagine if a Ditto learned human speech and lived among us, without us ever knowing. As he says this, the camera slowly zooms in on the face of Officer B. Afterward when you talk to Officer B, he says: Ditto is a truly amazing Pokemon.

And that’s the end of the side quest.

[songsofwaterandnight]

HELLO??

[demonoflight]

Something that gets me about Pokemon Pokopia is that you actually find out what led to the setting of Pokopia pretty early on. While exploring the world you find dozens of logs that explain in very clear terms what's going on. But Ditto remains clueless about it no matter how many logs you collect, and cannot offer so much as a theory to Professor Tangrowth and the others.

And then I realized they have no reaction to the logs for the same reason they have no reaction to signs and info board items--

DITTO CAN'T READ.

[pokemon]

The new building supervisor is here to hammer out the details! ⚙️🔨 This Tinkaton is exceptionally skilled at handling tools and specializes in engineering building projects! Other Pokémon in #PokemonPokopia call them Tinkmaster due to their bold, hearty attitude!

[hothotmiso]