Monterey Bay Aquarium
cherry valley forever
#extradirty
NASA
Show & Tell
Origami Around
shark vs the universe
Janaina Medeiros
we're not kids anymore.
KIROKAZE
⁂
titsay
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
oozey mess
if i look back, i am lost
Game of Thrones Daily
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Cosmic Funnies
ojovivo
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@spilledinkandtears
I hated biscuits. Could never stand them. But then one day I bought some to get change for the washing machine and you thought I liked them. So you kept on buying them for me, and I grew to love biscuits. (Via @spilledinkandtears )
He is my love
no matter how loud I scream "I love you", it doesn't seem to matter
Stay alive they said. Fight to stay alive. But I have been fighting all my life. All I've known is the battle with myself. I have been fighting and now I am tired.
I want them to know I tried. I really tried. I wanted to stay hopeful that life would get better. But it only kept getting worse. I love them but I love me more. and what is best for me right now is peace, oblivion. I need them to let me go
A sister, a friend, an activist and a girl that was dealt bad cards from the very beginning. 16/04/1999- 13/07/2023
(Via @spilledinkandtears )
175mg of lamotrigine, 7.5mg of lorazepam. Could this be my last night? Will I wake up in the morning? I hope not.
Last diary entry/ 13/07/2023 (Via @spilledinkandtears)
Stay alive they said. Fight to stay alive. But I have been fighting all my life. All I've known is the battle with myself. I have been fighting and now I am tired.
I got home and collapsed to the ground barely being able to breathe. It physically hurt to try to stay alive and I was trying so hard. Why couldn't they tell?
Untitled (Via @spilledinkandtears)
"How does that song go- love like you've never loved before?" "How can I love a heart that belongs to someone else"
11pm conversations with my older sister (via @spilledinkandtears)
Do you know what its like to never be at peace? To need sleep medication just for your mind to shut down for a few hours?
My thoughts are louder than I can bear. (Via @spilledinkandtears)
I had that big hotel room with that Queen sized bed all to myself, and yet, I only found comfort and sleep on the floor in the fetal position in that little corner.
Loneliness- (Via @spilledinkandtears)
…and in that moment it dawned on me that I might not be deserving of love.
Untitled (Via @spilledinkandtears)
“I was shaking but I wasn't cold. Another episode…worse than the last one. My chest hurt and I could breathe. One hand clawing at my neck fighting the invisible power that was strangling me, the other pulling my entire body to the drawer where I keep my medication. The bottles rattled in my hand as I fidgeted with their caps. It seemed like these days, I could only get through with sedatives and sleeping pills. My eyes brimming with tears and my vision blurred, I spilled both bottles content into my shaking palm. ‘How many am I supposed to take’ I try to recall the doctors prescription with my foggy mind that was flashing through memories I had buried deep inside. I was sick of this happening. It was always so exhausting carrying this weight. My shaking hand brought the pills closer to my mouth but I was shaking so hard they all fell to the ground. That’s when I realized what I had almost just done. There in that moment as numerous white and orange pills lay next to my feet, illuminated by the security lights outside that was piercing through my curtains. I opened my mouth to wail but nothing came out. I get to live another day.”
— 28/12/2021. (Via @spilledinkandtears)
And as I lay there on the grass- warm tears streaming down my face, the light from the full moon felt comforting. This moon that has seen my lonely nights as a child, my first heartbreak, my first drunken escapade. This moon that has been my companion when I enjoyed midnight poetry, those lonely nights with wine and ice-cream- in that moment, I felt her tell me it will be alright. I felt the warmth from her light cover me whole and tell me that I would find someone who loved me for who I was.
The moon, my guardian angel. (via @spilledinkandtears)
Do you think centuries later, someone will find the postcards you sent, in them your precious words to me. Do you think they will read them like we read letters between lovers and friends in the 50s, 60s, 70s and wish to have a love as innocent and fulfilling? I hope when they read your words for me in these postcards they find hope. The hope in love that I found when I read them.
19/06/1998 (Via @spilledinkandtears)
I was shaking but I wasn't cold. Another episode...worse than the last one. My chest hurt and I could breathe. One hand clawing at my neck fighting the invisible power that was strangling me, the other pulling my entire body to the drawer where I keep my medication. The bottles rattled in my hand as I fidgeted with their caps. It seemed like these days, I could only get through with sedatives and sleeping pills. My eyes brimming with tears and my vision blurred, I spilled both bottles content into my shaking palm. 'How many am I supposed to take' I try to recall the doctors prescription with my foggy mind that was flashing through memories I had buried deep inside. I was sick of this happening. It was always so exhausting carrying this weight. My shaking hand brought the pills closer to my mouth but I was shaking so hard they all fell to the ground. That's when I realized what I had almost just done. There in that moment as numerous white and orange pills lay next to my feet, illuminated by the security lights outside that was piercing through my curtains. I opened my mouth to wail but nothing came out. I get to live another day.
28/12/2021. (Via @spilledinkandtears)
Even if I cant properly articulate how much I love you in this moment, I know I want to spend the rest of my life showing you.
Untitled (via @spilledinkandtears)
I look at you and I know you are who I want to come home to. You are home.
Home for me is not the shinny house down the street with a nice yard and a picket white fence. It is your two hands wrapped around me, my head on your chest listening to your heart beat. (Via @spilledinkandtears)