Since Adament he had been all but unresponsive. Meals left untouched and the only one who seemed to be able to go near him without violent results was Lyna. So on the fourth day when she came to bring him his meal which she knew would continue to go untouched and found his room empty panic gripped her. The only comfort being that his gear still lay in the heap where it had been left when they had returned to Skyhold. Her mind raced at where he could have gone, a small part of her hoping it was a sign toward the better but the greater part knowing him all too well.
She raced to the main hall, heart in her throat. It was still early and the son barely risen leaving the hall empty. She hoped she was traveling in the right direction as she ran towards Valstroth’s room… she could barely heart her own heavy root falls over the beating of her heart as she took the stairs two at a time until she burst in to tidy quarters.
Her eyes danced around the barren room left untouched since before they had left to face the Grey Wardens and their escape from the nightmare which had manipulated them into unspeakable acts. She nearly turned to search elsewhere mind already racing on where Rusca may have retreated when she noticed the door to the balcony open.
Rusca sat on the ledge. Looking over the mountains facing east towards the breach. She approached slowly not wanting to startle him from his visage staring to desperately towards the tear in the heavens.
“Rusca…” she speaks softly
He doesn’t respond, his body overly relaxed as his eyes slowly drift from the skies to the valley below before turning to look at her. As she comes up beside him, gently, slowly, she notices the tears streaming down his face which was otherwise devoid of any emotion.
“Rusca…” she repeats wrapping her arms around him half to comfort and half to keep him there.
“I couldn’t…” he speaks for the first time since exiting the fade. Voice barely a whisper. “I promised…and I couldn’t.”
“Ma abelas, Rusca.” her heart filled with empathy at his words, having felt the pain and guilt herself so many years before which still haunted the deepest places in her mind.
He breaks finally crumpling into her arms as she pulls him from the railing. She lets his weight drag them both to the floor as she pulls him close.
“I tried” he chokes out between sobs.
“I Know. Creators know, I know.” she responds. It pained her deeply to see him cry but it was a relief after the days of him completely shutting down to see him show some sign of life.
They remained like that until Rusca exhausted himself through tears before Lyna gathered him up, frowning at how frail he hd gotten, and laid him in Val’s bed hoping the familiar space would allow him to sleep finally. She curled up behind him and pulled the blankets over knowing Alistair would understand later. For now, Rusca needed her to be there and she wouldn’t leave him this time.