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@splendidheaux
when a POT and I are in allowance talk and they ask me how much I want, I respond with āHow much do you think Iām worth?ā
9 times out of 10, they will offer more than they originally would have, as not to piss you off or offend you.Ā
Just something that works for me that I thought Iād share.
Stay woke. š
Two Thousand Sixteen
The female body is art and nothing less
Cut them out of your life if they don't match your energy level.
If they don't put the same effort into the conversation as you, tell them 'thank you for your time and the experience but I don't think we are a match' . Delete their number and move on. Find someone who matches your energy level.
You are a goddess, you deserve someone who treats you right.
ššš
Letās not waste any time today, ladies. You want to know how to ask a man for money/gifts/stuff, so allow me to tell you how.
š° The Worst Thing a Man Can Say is No.
Yaāll gotta get over your stage fright and start asking these damn men for what you want. These men arenāt coy about asking you for sex on the first date, so why are you acting all shy about asking for money/gifts? Donāt lie to yourselves ladies, we all want a high value and established man for the security and what he can provide. If that didnāt matter to us, we would choose dusties and do 50/50.
Besides, whatās the worst a man can say? No?
And if he does say no, then GOOD. Now you know he isnāt the right man for you! Time is money ladies, but it applies both ways: if heās not giving you money/providing for you, then heās wasting your time. If youāre wasting time and not asking for money, the youāre wasting both time and money.
š° Ā Timing Is Everything.
I donāt know why you ladies think a man is going to fork over $5,000 on the first date. Unless you and this man have some sort of sugaring dynamic or an arrangement prior to the first date, itās not happening. Be realistic ladies.
š° Condition Him From the Start.
Never leave a date empty handed. Ā Whether itās flowers, gifts, or money, a man must approach a goddess with an offering. If a man comes empty handed, donāt be shy. Comment on the fact that heās empty handed!
š° High Effort Dates ONLY.
We donāt do coffee dates here, ladies. We donāt do bars, either. We donāt grab drinks. Not on this blog. If a man suggests a low effort date, counter-suggest with a high effort one. Set this expectation from Date 1. Itās difficult to set the bar high if you start it off low.
š° Shopping Dates.
The easiest way to start getting gifts from a man is by suggesting a date at an upscale mall. Upscale malls typically have restaurants inside that you can first grab a meal there, before moving onto the stores.
When suggesting this date, say something along the lines of: āIāve been needing new dresses to wear outā¦ should we grab lunch at ____ and then go shopping afterwards? What do you think? Iām sure you have amazing taste and will choose some great dresses.ā
I sometimes also like to send a picture of something I want (like a Chanel purse), and hint that Iāve been wanting it for a while. This typically works well.
š° Asking for Money.
Gifts are nice, but the goal is to provided for in all ways. Thereās a few ways you can do this:
- Start off by becoming distant, and texting less. Do this leading up to your next day. At the date date, bring up that feeling āuncertainā (but keep it vague about what the uncertainty is about, while hinting that the uncertainty is regarding your relationship). Then bring up how feeling secure in a relationship is really important to you. When he asks what he can do to make you feel more secure, say something like: āI really enjoy feeling secure and provided for by a man. It really helps me know he cares and wants me to be taken care of.ā
- Before becoming intimate with him, outline to him your expectations. Ā āI really feel a strong connection with you and want to deepen that connection, but itās really important for me to be exclusive and be taken care of by a man before I can feel comfortable with being intimate.ā If he asks you what ātaken care ofā means, say support with bills, help with tuition, and emotional security.
- Ask for support/investment in something. If you have business dreams or want to go to school, ask him for help! Even if you donāt want either of those things, lie and say you want to take a class to develop your skills in an area. Make sure to double the expense (meaning: if tuition is $5,000, tell him its $10,000). āHoney, I really want to start my own beauty business this year. Do you think you could help me? Itās been my dream forever, and I already laid out a financial plan of how much I would need.ā
- Ask for financial support to be able to spend more time with him. To do this, start being ābusyā with work/school/life, and be more distant. Then let him know that his support would allow you more time to be with him, and relieve stress. Be sure to double your expenses. āI really wish we could spend more time together, and be able to further our connectionā¦but Iām so stressed with paying rent, that Iāve had to work overtime. Do you think you could help me, honey? I really want us to be able to spend more time together.ā
- Just ask. Seriously. No scenario needed, just ask.Ā
āHoney, I could really use some help with some bills and just self maintenance because I love looking and feeling beautiful when we go out on dates. Do you think you could help me out? I would appreciate it sooo much!ā
š° Surgeries.
Getting cosmetic procedures is SO easy because men automatically think of how itāll benefit them. Text him a picture of the procedure you want (before & afters), along with the pricing and tell him how much more confident and sexy youāll feel once you get it done.
š° Houses & Cars
- Always tell men you have roommates, this way, when asking for a house/condo/apartment, you can use your roommates as an excuse why youāre moving out and wanting to live alone. Also, suggest to him that having your own place will allow for more privacy between the two of you.
- Let him know you canāt afford a place nearby and you may have to move to a different state. If he likes you enough, heāll want to prevent that, or at least offer to help you with rent.
- When asking for a car, tell him how youāve been experiencing car troubles and not feeling comfortable driving. Explain that youāve been needing a more reliable and safer car. Start attending less dates due to ātransportation issuesā.
*Note, make sure these items are fully paid off and IN YOUR NAME*
š° Damsel in Distress.Ā
Ugh, I hate this tactic because itās not sustainable, but Iāll cover it anyways. This is pretty simple; come up with a distressing scenario and ask if he can help you in any way. Pretty straight forward, but I do not recommend this as your main tactic.Ā
Example: āIām feeling so stressed out. My tuition for this semester is due in 2 weeks and I donāt have the full amount. I donāt know what to do, if I donāt pay, I canāt go to school this semester.ā
Hope this helps ladies! I may do a Part 2 to offer more advice on this topic <3
Follow me on IG for more! @mademoisellehypergamyĀ
Just Dump Him
In my vanilla life, I get lots of girls asking me for relationship advice. I make it clear to them that I don't vanilla date, only sugar. They still want advice. I have found that 9 times out of 10, my advice is to dump him. Men in their twenties ain't shit. If they don't respond to texts, if they honk for you to come outside when they pick you up, if they pressure you into (mediocre) sex: dump him. You don't need a man, and you are so much better than that.
Men have started wars for sex, killed for sex, risked their families, careers, and lives, for SEX. Pussy is power, currency, and purpose. And itās time for these men to pay up.Ā
Today Iām going to go over the topic of sex & hypergamy, because pussy is power, and itās time to claim it.
šŗĀ YOU DO NOT OWE MEN SEX. EVER. Ladies, I donāt care if a man buys you the world: he does not deserve sex. Men do not deserve sex for providing for you. If you think you should have sex with a man after he gives you some money, your mindset is low value.Ā Your womanhood, your sexuality, your feminine energy, your essence, ALL OF THIS, is priceless. You are a hypergamous woman and deserve to be provided for. You deserve it! It is your birth right! These men do not get sex for doing what they are supposed to do!!!Ā
šŗ Yes, All Men Want Sex. Letās be upfront ladies, all men want sex from women. EvenĀ ānice guysā. Men are men, and they all want sex. Period. If you are naive or cannot accept this, I donāt know what to tell you because this is the reality. Now, this doesnāt mean they canāt wait. Just because a dog wants to go play fetch in the rain, doesnāt mean you will go play fetch with him in the rain. Men can wait. Men know how to wait. They just donāt want to wait unless he wants you enough.
šŗ If a Men Wants You, He Will Do AnythingĀ To Obtain You. This is a FACT. If a man wants a woman, he will not bat an eye lash to buy you cars, homes, and pay off your debt. Whether you are intimate with him or not. As long as he wants you, he will invest. If a man is not investing, he doesnāt want you.
šŗĀ Men Love the Chase. Delay. Delay. Delay. Men will use a woman for sex, money, and a place to live. He will keep using her as long as she is accessible and easy. Why? BECAUSE MEN WANT SEX. Why would he reject free sex? Would you reject free money from a wealthy man? The saddest part is a man will also ALWAYS leave the woman for something better and harder to obtain. Do not get played ladies.Ā
Think about it: If you give sex to man on the 3rd date, what makes you any different from the girl he Netflix & Chilled with last night? NOTHING. Men act like they hate the chase, when it drives them crazy and they love it. Part of the chase is delaying sex, and the longer you can delay it, the better.
Delaying sex is not hard to do as long as you remain seductive and alluring in other areas . Some tips to delay intimacy:
- Say youāre a virgin. Ladies, if you are in your early twenties (20-25), this one works WONDERFULLY. The key is not to tell them too soon, otherwise, they are more likely to not stick around. - Say youāre waiting until marriage. This one is great for all ages, however, like virginity, you must wait before stating this. If you say this too soon he is more likely to not stick around. - Tell him how youāre very attracted to him, but youāre not ready/nervous. (This will lead to him asking you what he needs to do to make you feel less nervous ā”ļø ask him for more security/money/etc.) - Tell him you only feel comfortable being intimate with a man that you are exclusive with. (he will bring up your current relationshipĀ ā”ļø a way for you to secure your relationship/bring up how exclusivity means being engaged to you) - When he brings up sex, act shocked that he brought it up, and tell him that youāre really enjoying the time you two are spending together, but youāre usually used to things moving a bit slower.
šŗĀ āMaybeā Is the Magic Word.Ā Men love believingĀ that thereās a chanceĀ of something occurring. As long as they think they have a chance at being intimate with you, they will keep trying to win you over = more investment. So when delaying sex, make sure you phrase it correctly. Let them believe thereās a chance.Ā š
šŗĀ Measure Time in Investment. How long should you wait before having sex? In my opinion: delay as long as possible. Delaying 1 year or more is not hard to do if you are creative. The point isnāt to delay for a certain length of time, but rather delay by investment. How much is your pussy worth? $1,000??? $5,000??? A car???? A house???? $1 million???? B****, that was a trick question. Your pussy is pricelessĀ and men know this.Ā But some of you donāt, and sell your pussy for cheap.Ā I canāt tell you how long to delay sex for, but I just want all you ladies to make sure he INVESTS in you before you become intimate. Iām not talking about a few thousands. Iām talking about serious investments. Iāll let you ladies sit and think about this.
If you take anything from this post, itās this: make these men pay. Modern society has made pussy cheap and hook-up culture the norm. Not for a hypergamous woman. These men shouldnāt touch what they canāt afford.
šŗĀ Follow me on IG for more! @mademoisellehypergamy
Cut them out of your life if they don't match your energy level.
If they don't put the same effort into the conversation as you, tell them 'thank you for your time and the experience but I don't think we are a match' . Delete their number and move on. Find someone who matches your energy level.
You are a goddess, you deserve someone who treats you right.
ššš
If you allow a man to feed you he has the power to starve you
Black women being loved, cherished and worshiped is what I wanna see! No more of that struggle live shit.
No work, just fairy vibes.
I've been messaging this guy and he asked what I am looking for. I told him straight out...a sugar daddy. Then he says "what does that entail to you?" What should I even say to this?
This is my copy/paste to that question:
āIām looking for a more mature gentleman who enjoys the company of a younger woman. I also want a man who sees all that Iām doing and recognizes my potential to do great things and wants to be a part of that by being a mentor and also a benefactor. I choose (website) for my search since the men here arenāt looking for a traditional relationship (nor am I) but instead are looking for a spark, something new, and discretion, all of which I can offer. While we would go out and have fun times together, we can still both have our own space back in our normal lives.ā
So yeah. Something along those lines.
Blocking people who foolishly think you did something to them when you didnāt is a form of self care.
Why cry over a man when you can get another one? Or 2?
Never feel inadequate.
Never, ever allow yourself to feel as though you are not good enough. You are worth everything.
š If you are the only Black woman in the room, be proud of yourself.
š If you are the only woman in the room, be proud of yourself.
š If you are the only person in the room, be proud of yourself.
Ily, sugarbabyrudeness š¹
DO's and DON'Ts for Beginners
I finished reading this article and wow.
For anyone interested in being a SB, SGF, escort, or who is hypergamous, I cannot stress the advice below enough.
DO YOUR RESEARCH on these men and the bowl, escorting, SGF, hypergamy, etc
Get his full name, his number, his license plate, etc, and SCREEN HIM. If his whole life comes up, PERFECT!! I once googled a POT and he had SEVERAL articles about him and his previous SB and how open they were about their lifestyle. It may have worked for them, but I like to stay out of headlines. If he owns a business, you can find out his office number. Call those places under a fake name and ask for him to confirm his position and that he works there then hang up when they try to transfer you. When you're talking to him, take mental notes whenever he talks about his life and keeps track of personal details about him and his lifestyle.
DO NOT enter the bowl or escort or become hypergamous if you are desperate for money.
According to Peter Fleming, author of Sugar Daddy Capitalism: The Dark Side of the New Economy, "the SD business model exploits women's financial desperation." I'm saying this in the nicest way possible, if you are strapped for cash and you think being a SB/escort/SGF or hypergamous is a quick fix... you will crash and burn and will have so many regrets it will, unfortunately, ruin your mental health. YOU are more important than anything. It's better to have to start over than to continue with a relationship that you know you are not okay with.
DO LEARN how to say NO and to WALK AWAY. Just learn to be a bitch according to Sherry Argov.
It doesnāt matter how rich he is or the āpotentialā he has to change your life and get you closer to your goals. If you feel uncomfortable in any way or if he does not respect you, you can either tell him you feel uncomfortable or break off contact immediately. Thereās always going to be money out there.
DO NOT give him your real name, number, address, bank account number, or anything. You're just a fantasy to him anyways.
Lie. About (almost) EVERYTHING. This will make saying "no" 100X easier because he has no information about you and therefore cannot ruin your life if he's scum. Lie about your name, your number (get a second phone, or use Google Voice/other apps and get a fake email address), lie about where and how you grew up, lie about where you went to school, lie about your parents' marital relationship, how many pets you had, etc. If you're in school, be very vague about your major (his ego is too big to care about that and most details anyways). If you graduated, lie about the school you attended. Lie about specific details, lie about why you have to reschedule plans, lie about your daily life, etc. Just lie. DO NOT BE AN OPEN BOOK. Talk less, listen more. Some of these men get way too caught up in tiny details and how they can use it against you. Cash is king but if you have to get a fake cashapp (do not use Zelle or Venmo), create a fake name and identity, etc... TOO many of these men are hobbyists and feel like you OWE them your time and energy because they gave you money and will try to put you in danger or blackmail you when things don't go their way. You DON'T owe these men ANYTHING. Keep a record of your lies, but even if you get caught in a lie, tell him that he was mistaken and lie to cover that lie. It's none of his business anyway.
DO make sure that if he buys you a car or an apartment that itās in YOUR NAME.
You seriously donāt want him to take them away and you become homeless or youāre stranded.
DO NOT have sex with these men before youāre compensated, get what you want, and/or your comfortable. If you do, you will NEVER see a dime.
You are in no way obligated to sleep with any man regardless of their status or the nature of your relationship if you do not feel comfortable even if he is paying you. Do not let these men tell you sweet nothings to get into your pants. This isn't a vanilla relationship nor are you his sex puppet.
DO NOT let these men pick you up/drop you off during dates and do go to these men's homes before you really know him and you feel safe.
Your safety should be your first priority when meeting a POT, not getting a free ride. He may be trying to be a gentleman, but you should never let a man you do not know personally be in control of your transportation. it is important that if you want to leave, you can. On that note, he should be paying for your travel anyways. If you drive yourself, have the valet park your car or park away from the restaurant so he doesn't know what car you drive or memorize your license plate number.
Be SMART with your money.
Budget, invest, save, do whatever you have to do so youāre not broke and struggling if the relationship ends. Never go dutch or out of pocket for a man that can afford it. Even if he says he will pay you back, he won't.
DO NOT be at his beck and call.
Just because you have an arrangement with him or heās a regular doesnāt mean you ALWAYS have to work on HIS time. Itās the opposite. Heās on YOUR time. Pairing this with learning how to say NO and leaving when you want is super important.
Be SMART with your body and your safety.
Get tested. Make sure they are tested. Use condoms no matter what. Do not do anything you do not want to do. Bring mouthwash for clients if you let them go down on you. Tell them to go wash their hands. Invest in a self-defense course like Escape Alive or the R.A.D System. Carry around self-defense weapons and LEARN how to use them. Share your location with someone you trust!
For my hypergamous ladies and spoiled girlfriend, that man is NOT your partner if he is NOT willing to provide you the lifestyle you want in his absence.
If he is eating lavish meals regularly but you struggle to pay for fresh organic groceries, that is not your partner. If he drives a luxury car but you have to uber everywhere even to dates on YOUR dime, that is not your partner. If he is always traveling to lavish destinations but refuses to pay for your girl's trip, that is not your partner. If he... you get the point. Also, if you are marriage-minded make sure you get a prenup and say no to Common Law marriages.
TL;DR
You, as an individual, are priceless. You are your most important asset. There is no "highest bidder." You deserve everything you desire and you will get it without feeling like you have to compromise your mental health or your body.
Finally,
DO NOT believe in words, ONLY actions.
š Jade
Top Questions I Ask a POT During the First Date
Sugaring can be exhausting in the beginning when you are trying to vet a suitable POT. Iāve come up with a list of topics/questions to talk with a POT about on the first date to hopefully save time because we all know time is money:
Check his pockets
Where do you work? What does your job role entail?
Whatās the most exciting thing about your job?
How long have you worked in that position? What do you love most about it?
Have you always wanted to work in ____?
Understand his values
What turns you on? (Hopefully his answer is āspoilingā š¤£)
What makes you happy?
What are your passions? What do you enjoy doing? Pet peeves?
What are your desires? What do you desire most in life?
Whatās the craziest thing youāve ever done? What excites you?
What are your thoughts/feelings about _________?
Understand his past relationships
What are you looking for/hoping to gain from your next relationship/arrangement?
What was your last relationship/arrangement like?
What did your last relationship lack? What did you not get from your last partner that you really wanted?
Whatās the most romantic thing youāve ever done for your woman?
What do you think a mans role is in a relationship?
What do you think about spoiling your partner? What does it mean to you?
These questions are meant to be used as a guide to help you get a better idea of the type of POT you are dealing with so you can proceed however you need to. Just naturally throw them into the conversation. These questions can be used for POTs found on SD sites or vanilla apps. Depending on how he answers to the last 3 questions, I normally ask to go for a walk together after the date and just so happen to find ourselves inside of a shopping plaza š
