The Queens of Moondoor - Part One
Written for SPN Saffic Challenge (@spnsafficchallenge) for June! Pairing is Alice (Smash)/Charlie Bradbury. Here’s part one of a two part story of two girlfriends falling in love and outsmarting a bigot while ruling Moondoor together.
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Sometimes… sometimes it wasn’t so good to be queen.
For instance, it kinda sucked when discussions for the upcoming LARP extravaganza were derailed because Jerry (the white-knighting dumbass who still hadn’t figured out that Charlie exclusively dates women) was whinging on about the historical inaccuracy of having a pride parade at Moondoor.
“It’s a convention of the twenty first century,” he droned on, as Charlie’s head ache grew increasingly worse. “And we all agreed that we want to get as realistic as possible.”
“We don’t use real swords,” Alicia pointed out. Her twin brother Max was barely paying attention at this point. He hadn’t wanted to be on the council, but as Charlie’s red knight and head of her queensguard (yes she stole the rainbow guard from Game of Thrones, fuck off) he needed to be involved in the decision making. And yes, Charlie had decided Moondoor needed its own pride parade. It was fucking June, and they’d managed to book back to back weekends at the local paintball place. This meant both they had the opportunity for a really cool saga level storytelling, and also that Charlie couldn’t make any pride events she’d usually be at. Being a problem solver at heart, she’d decided if she couldn’t go to pride, she’d bring pride to herself.
She was managing the storytelling this time. With great power, comes great responsibility and what not.
“So magic is realistic, but pride isn’t?” Charlie asked.
“Magic is an established part of the lore,” said Jerry. “We haven’t decided if gay people even exist in Moondoor.”
“Evidence would suggest so,” muttered Max, finally drawn into the conversation. out of sheer irritation.
“Just because you’re gay, doesn’t mean you’re character is gay,” said Jerry. “Sexuality in medieval times was completely different. Labels like straight and gay didn’t exist. People engaged in that… behavior. But they got married to people of the opposite sex.”
Jesus Christ, Jerry.
“They didn’t have decent bathrooms back then either,” said Charlie. “We’re still gonna rent out porta-potties instead of digging a latrine.”
“Not sure that counts as a decent bathroom,” muttered Jesse. He was one of their new guys, but was badass with a sword so no one minded that he was older than your average LARPer. He and Charlie had become fast friends, and he’d risen through the ranks, so to speak, out of her respect for him. That being said, not a helpful comment.
“What I’m saying is we don’t adhere to strict historical accuracy anyways. And it’ll be a nice kickoff to the saga. We could even include it in the story. The queen will pick a wife among one of the celebrants or something.”
Max smirked at Charlie, but she waved him off. For once she really wasn’t trying to score. She just wanted to win this fight against Jerry. There was no reason her suggestion should be met with this much fierce opposition.
“But queens need to produce heirs. It makes no sense for a queen to marry a woman,” said Jerry. “It would never happen.”
“This is supposed to be fun,” said Charlie. “I don’t care if it’s realistic. I don’t care how you have to justify it to yourself. We’re having pride and that’s final. Unless the rest of you want to outvote me.”
No one else spoke up.
“That’s decided then,” said Charlie.
***
Jerry was a certified nerd. No really, run him through any test on his nerd cred and he’d pass with flying colors. He knew six fictional languages, and had memorized the stats for every spaceship in Star Wars. He was the kind of nerd other nerds looked at, and wondered if he was a little obsessed.
All this to say, like some nerds of the male and single variety, there was nothing overtly wrong with him. He was smart and detail oriented. He was good at planning events. He was principled (to the point of punching another player when he was found out cheating).
He was just also on the misogynist and homophobic side, and willfully wouldn’t cotton on that the girl he was into so didn’t like him back.
Alice chewed gum as she listened to him rant, wondering when and if he was actually going to get around to what he wanted from her. Alice’s skillset was… limited. She was seriously concerned she was going to have to break into this girl’s room and steal her underwear, or something equally as heinous. She knew how to pick locks. It was what she got paid the big bucks for.
Not that Jerry would pay her. The nudes he’d stolen off her computer to blackmail her with insured that.
“… she’ll finally realize that I’m the king Moondoor deserves,” said Jerry, finishing his rant. Alice raised an eyebrow at him. “So this is where you come in.”
Yeah, finally.
He went through the plan step by step, and Alice grew paler the longer he went along. It was one thing to know you and had no choice but to work for a creep, and it was another thing entirely knowing exactly what that meant.
“I’m not doing that.”
“It’s your choice,” Jerry said. Meaning there was no choice at all. Alice’s skills catered to a certain clientele, more than one of whom was unsavory. It was why she went by Smash in her usual business dealings, and why she was very careful about what got out about her. Some men would consider naked pictures of her posted online (along with her real name and whatever other info Jerry had drudged up) permission.
“Fine,” she said shortly. “Fine.”
***
Throwing a pride ball was, admittedly, Charlie’s best idea ever.
It was almost like a fairytale, except one in which she actually did get a happy ending. One in which she didn’t have to watch a woman kissing a man and wondering when she would start to feel that way about boys. Watching the same movie later in life and realizing it would be never, and wondering why girls like her didn’t have fairytales too.
Not everyone was interested in the wife competition, which Charlie understood. She emphasized it was part of the game, and that anyone who wanted to participate should where an armband. Charlie danced and chatted with various girls, finding more than a few that would be excellent strategy choices for the game. Stealing over one of Shadow Orcs could be a game changer. Usually, they allied up with Elves against the Followers of the Moon, but maybe this year she could throw a wrench in their tried and true plot lines…
It might be fun, sharing the Forever Crown with a Shadow Orc queen. Also, it would make Jerry’s head explode.
Charlie was about to ask one of the savvier Shadow Orc players when someone new caught her eye.
The girl was dressed in floral pattern breeches and a white blouse. It was tailored to look somewhat closer to period appropriate, but she still stuck out like a sore thumb. Not only that, she was rocking a pair of Doc Martins. Her hair was pulled up in a loose bun on top of her head, and she had a look on her face Charlie recognized. It was the look of someone who wanted to run as far and fast as they could.
Within an instant, she was a goner.
“Good morrow,” she said, pulling the startled looking girl aside. She checked Alice’s wrist and resisted the urge to fist pump when she saw a bracelet. “I haven’t danced with you yet.”
“Yeah… I’m sorry, I don’t quite get the lingo,” she muttered, but let Charlie lead her into a simplified version of a historically accurate partner dance. “I hear you’re the queen.”
“You hear correctly,” said Charlie, eyes flashing with curiosity at this newcomer. She wondered who had dragged their cousin into the LARP event, and how she could thank them. A fruit basket? Definitely at least a pineapple or something.
“And you’re looking for someone to… share the throne?” asked Alice, obviously not clear on how to proceed with the niceties of polite conversation. Charlie decided to put the poor woman out of her misery.
“Well. I was looking,” said Charlie. “But I think I’ve found just the right girl.”
Alice looked confused, surprised, and flustered at Charlie’s announcement.
“You didn’t hear what I had to offer.”
“I get feelings about people,” said Charlie. “You’re one of the good ones.”
With all the drama she could muster, Charlie knelt to the ground and pulled out the fake ring they’d bought for this occasion.
“Will you marry me, sweet lady?” she asked as humbly as she could manage. Alice stammered out a yes, and everyone pretended to be shocked at the turn of events. With the game out of the way, the real pride events could begin.
Charlie led a small parade, each person allowed a sign if they so wished. Rainbows abounded, and everyone had a good time. Charlie spent a lot of the evening sitting with Alice, who shared little enough about herself. What little she did share though was hauntingly familiar.
“I’ve been on my own for a long time,” said Alice. “I usually don’t go by… I prefer Smash. When I’m meeting strangers. So I know they can’t track me down.”
“But you don’t think I’m a stranger?” asked Charlie.
“I think you’re harmless enough,” said Alice. “And I think… I think you’re a good person.
“Well, I don’t know about that-“
“You are,” said Alice. “Really.”
And all Charlie could think about looking into Alice’s eyes is that maybe she really was in a fairytale. And maybe she liked it more than she’d even expected she would.
***
Alice felt three times as gross after having met Charlie. She was a perfectly nice person, and she’d been flirting with Alice. And Alice had been flirting back. Alice didn’t want to do anything to hurt this woman, let alone put her through what Jerry had planned for her. But she couldn’t risk her safety, so she knew she was going to have to go through with the plan
Even if it hurt.
