EMERGENCY NOODS

[tahthetrickster]

litmus test for tumblr olds

[unbearable-swagger]

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

[whitechadwarden-deactivated2025]

[lavenderlemniscate]

[fazmid]

I love opening up this website first thing like the morning paper and immediately seeing multiple posts like "how to get rid of the evil clown on the dashboard". like oh is this what we're doing today

[jewfrogs]

kids were roleplaying with minecraft figurines and one of them had their figure go up to the other and say “i’m in love with you” and the other one replied “sword slash to the chest. and you’re on fire”

[randomfae]

[pluckyporo]

your honour, permission to call the jury "chat"

[qqueenofhades]

Someone made Felonies Georg into a graphic. Bless.

[telltaletypist]

omg i told a million times just bc the amulet glows a bright pulsating red every time i'm about to commit acts of great evil doesn't mean the amulet is *driving* me to evil. it just gets excited is all

[telltaletypist]

it's always "take off the amulet it's cursed" and "cast it into the flames before corrupts your soul" and never "woah cool amulet where did you get it" or "i like your amulet it looks nice on you"

[anxietyproblem]

[wellwhiskey]

in honor of finally finishing the terror I would like to share my favorite r/relationship_advice post of all time

I’ve suggested arctic themed role play but she says ‘don’t worry about it’

[wellwhiskey]

[bruno-has-definitely-deactivate]

[brunohas-deactivated20231113]

[engulfes]

Pleaseeee

[countesspetofi]

[spacelazarwolf]

i never know how explicit to make the sex scenes in my books. do i placate the ppl who think that saying the word ‘cock’ is basically porn or do i write for my fellow degenerates who want all the horny details

[xirlos]

*taps sign*

[spacelazarwolf]

u know what ur so right

[metanarrates]

"you've got six names and two pronoun sets in your bio, how should people refer to you?" easy. every time you want to talk to or about me you roll 1d6 for name and flip a coin for pronoun set. if you've got an INT stat of 15 or lower you also have to roll to see whether you survive my eldritch blast, but that's mostly unrelated

[onetwothreemany]

FEMA is doing an emergency alert test on all TVs, radios, and cell phones on October 4, 2023, at approximately 2:20pm ET.

If you live in the US and you have a phone you need to keep secret for any reason, make sure that it is turned off at this time.

Yes, I'm doing this months in advance, and yes, my blog has very little reach, but I figure better to post about it more than less.

Please reblog and add better tags than mine, I'm bad at tags.

[creatureconflicts]

pov: you’re a queer person who watched the barbie move and someone asked who’s your favorite character

[dead-immortal]

On one hand, I can count to five. On the other hand though? I can also count to five.