That is the word you would attach to me.
No, I don’t usually hear you say it,
but I can see the judgment in your face.
You see me with a wheeled backpack,
taking the elevator a single floor,
After all, why wouldn’t you?
My skeleton is well aligned.
You might notice the outline of a knee brace,
showing through my jeans.
as I put weight onto my foot.
A wrist brace might poke slightly
briefly distort my smooth face.
These little signs, which you might see?
stemming from a deeper source.
No matter how closely you look,
if you just stop and listen.
Take a moment, and suspend your disbelief,
and I will tell you, I will tell you.
The source is deep within my body,
lying within the cells of my central nervous system.
Biochemical imbalances wreak havoc
on my sensory processing.
A spoken word becomes a shout,
as a shout becomes a siren.
Perfume becomes an olfactory assault,
and a draft becomes an icy wind.
Do you still begrudge me the rolling bag
which takes the stabbing pressure off of my shoulders?
Is riding the shuttle, avoiding the inevitable pain with every step,
still evidence of my laziness?
Do you still think I should walk that flight of stairs,
with each movement disrupting my tender joints?
Well, I’ll tell you what I think.
I think that I fight every day
for the ability to live my life.
I think that that I am intelligent, thoughtful, kind.
I also think that I am imperfect and that I struggle.
But my struggle is not weakness, it is strength.
I’m strong enough to keep struggling, keep fighting,
even against enemies that no one else can see.
You may not be able to see my enemies, but
I hope that you can now see, just a little,
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