Tis I The Sloot of Spoons

Feral. Unhinged. Constantly Unaware. 23. Gender? What is that? Nothing bout me makes sense my guy. Really love a good bowl of soup

[spoonsloot]

I have fucked my hair in a way that is unforgivable by God.

[spoonsloot]

I have the strong belief that John "Soap" MacTavish would abSOLUTELY let his team share you so as long as he can watch.

[spoonsloot]

There is nothing in this world I hate coming into contact with more than mold.

None of the 141 would leave dishes unattended for long periods of time to allow them to fester a colony that has more culture that what has been stolen by the British and shoved into a glorified treasure chest only to collect dust.

They are gross but not in that way.

[spoonsloot]

Something something, Simon fucking you in an alley behind where you work. Something something, it becomes an almost daily occurrence.

[spoonsloot]

I'm like really not doing great rn. Like hella big sad cause I'm big time

Overwhelmed™️ ✧˖°.

I think the only solution to my plight is to be suffocated by a big strong military dilf.

[spoonsloot]

I just know that none of the 141 would deny me any of my cravings.

[spoonsloot]

I saw a post referring to spring as Gaz's season and I want to expand upon that in a sense. There's 4 of them; each one gets a season based on vibe.

Spring: Gaz

Kyle gets spring. He reminds me of warmth but not so much it's overwhelming. He's the melody of nature as it starts to grow. He's the smell of honeysuckle, and rain. He's the soft sunsets at 7pm; the dark blues and the pastels of orange and pinks. He's the pretty blossoms and the sun that helps them flourish. He's the storms that lull you to sleep, despite the danger of it all he is the calmness that sends you into tranquility. He's the perfect balance of all things. And when he's gone, you can't wait for him to return.

Summer: Soap

Johnny gets summer. He's loud, with bright colors that make you smile. The afternoon sun shows him best; he is sunshine afterall. He's the ocean breeze as you walk the beach, the way it sticks to you even after you're no longer there. He's the smell of mowed lawns and sweet fruits. He's the fun activities and the joy you feel. He's the hurricane as it rips through, nothing calm about him, and you remember him for years to come.

Fall: Price

John gets fall. He's the chill in the air as it nips at your nose; never enough to make you cold but enough to know it's soon to come. He's the smell of warm cider and fallen leaves as they settle around. He's the warmth of burnt orange and deep maroon. He's the fairy lights at the festivals and the chatter of "what's next?" He fits right in, and you never want to leave.

Winter: Ghost

Simon gets winter. He's the dark blues and purples that cover the sky before 6. He's the frigid cold that makes you want to bundle up but not enough to push you away. He's the snowflakes when they fall; each one unveiling a complexity of uniqueness that builds to the bigger picture of him. He's the smell of the evergreens. He's the quiet as everything slumbers. He's the warmth of the fireplace as you're snowed in, and you wouldn't want it any other way.

[spoonsloot]

Soap would punch a guy out, no hesitation, if that chucklefuck so much as made you feel uncomfortable.

Hell, he'd do it even if he didn't know you at all.

He wouldn't ask for anything in return but if you wanted to maybe kiss his busted knuckles and suck his cock. Who is he to say no?

[spoonsloot]

Y'all if I ever learn something truly terrible about Jeremy Wade, I might legitimately end it all right there. I fucking love River Monsters and I cannot deal with one more disappointment in life, man.

[spoonsloot]

Gaz would probably be the best one of the 141 to be in a relationship with. Not only is he just a gorgeous man, but he gives me the vibes of a true gentleman.

I know he would be the most invested in his relationship and would basically worship his partner for being so strong when he's away.

He would respect the hell out of whoever he is with. Anyone who shows any hint of the slightest disrespect while he's around, he would deal with (calmly of course, he isn't a brute who punches first).

[spoonsloot]

So I'm sitting here

No Ghost on my titties

It's a sad day 😞

[spoonsloot]

You know what? I haven't given Sergeant John MacTavish enough attention and that's a my bad.

He's fine as fuck, Your Honor.

An absolutely perfect man imo. I love me a good Scottish man lol

I know he'd treat me right.

[spoonsloot]

Got the big sad, here's some poorly drawn gators

Yes, I am aware some of these are probably more like crocs lol

[spoonsloot]

Just a slight 🔞MDNI🔞. Nothing too graphic, but just in case.

You know, I usually do paint the 141 in pretty decent light. With that being said, I do believe that Simon is perfectly capable of being just a bit of an ass.

He'd be sarcastic and a bit mean with his words. He would just ignore you if he didn't feel like dealing with you. If you bothered him too much, especially on bad days, he'd snap at you. In those moments, he may intentionally try to tear you down verbally. He wouldn't apologize afterwards either, believing he did nothing wrong even if he hurt your feelings. (Of course if you bring it up to him, in calmer hours, he would apologize. He's a jerk with some anger issues, not a completely heartless monster).

He might grab a bit too roughly, leaving some light bruising here and there (not always intentional). Might enjoy scaring you when you're alone cause he knows he can be really still and quiet. He might steal your favorite items simply because of them being your favorite. Who knows?

Point is: Simon Riley, despite me believing that he would be a great man, would also be a bit of a dick. I accept that.

Now. I will say, he would never be the kind of man to abuse you or assault you. Why would he? He'd play rough, if you wanted him to of course. Pulling your hair? Yeah why not. Slapping you across the face while having sex? I guess if that's really what you want. But to do so without you consent? No. Absolutely not. Even if he's an asshole, he's not a monster. It'd be real hard to get him to agree to cnc or any type of role playing that requires him to take advantage of you in any sense.

I'm going to say it again: He's a jerk, not a monster. And that, is something I stand firm on.

[spoonsloot]

I just know that Simon "Ghost" Riley would let me have my domestic bliss and would absolutely respect the shit out of me. This man would be down hella bad for his spouse.

Never have to worry about a job, or bills, or anything like that. Don't worry, he's got it all handled. Hell, he'd probably feel just a bit insulted if you imply that you fell like you should get a job, he's more than capable of taking care of you both in that sense. He'd comply if that's what you really wanted, of course. Whatever his love wants is what they get, after all.

Want to stay at home and bake and tend to a garden cause those are your hobbies? He's already got everything you would need all set up, and ready to go whenever you are. He just wants his love to be happy, always.

I can feel it in my bones.

[spoonsloot]

Being inbetween Ghost and Price would honestly be a best case scenario for me.

I would let them absolutely destroy me ngl

[spoonsloot]

I've said it before, how I believe being Captian Price's housewife would fix all of my problems; I've come to a slight realization.

Being the housewife of ANY OF THE 141 would honestly solve all of my problems.