derekmorgan: any news about the women fawning over him?
ā³ e.prentiss: we havenāt received texts in the group chat so im assuming all is well (for now)
ā³ aaron_hotchner: she followed me like a lost puppy and publicly displayed her affection to make sure they knew.
ā³ jenniferjareau: well! looks like youāre not gonna be attacked by bread this time
ā³ its(Y/L/N): no heās gonna be attacked by bread when we get home
ā³ daverossi: i just have to sayā why do you have to attack him with bread?
ā³ itspennyg: so she doesnāt waste money buying a weapon and if she attacks with bread, she can eat it afterwards, mr. holy pasta man šš§š»āāļø
ā³ aaron_hotchner: (Y/N) just said itās because she can and she willā¦not because she found out about the soccer moms fawning over me from the clubhouse this time
ā³ e.prentiss: the bread retaliation will literally never stop
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its(Y/L/N): my handsome boyfriend being all grumpy and itās tempting to smooch him all over š„ŗ
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e.prentiss: you both are my close friends but you have to tone the mushiness down at work
ā³ itspennyg: NO LET THE LOVEBIRDS BE. PENNY LOVES LOVE š¤ā¤ļø
ā³ jenniferjareau: penelope youād be glad you donāt have to be with (Y/N) out in the field because she goes feral when she sees hotch with kevlar vest
ā³ its(Y/L/N): uh no i donāt. psh kevlar vest? nah doesnāt look good on him. i donāt know what youāre talking about
ā³ spencer.reid: your respiratory rate increases whenever you see hotch wear that and in general your pupils dilate when you just see hotch
ā³ its(Y/L/N): go choke, spencer
derekmorgan: she wants another dog, doesnāt she?
ā³ aaron_hotchner: yeah. she saw one at this little adoption event held at the park last week
ā³ daverossi: youāre about to give in, arenāt you?
ā³ e.prentiss: the silence is loud, of course heās going to give in to her
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its(Y/L/N): why has he not looked at me for the past hour :(
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derekmorgan: i smell jealousy in the air š
ā³ spencer.reid: who? hotch or (Y/N)?
ā³ jenniferjareau: have you not seen hotchās eyebrows go deeper than it usually is, spence?
ā³ e.prentiss: sulky (Y/N) is also my favorite version of her
ā³ its(Y/L/N): i just want my boyfriend to give me attention :(
ā³ daverossi: guess aaronās still a jealous man when it comes to detective peralta aka that goofy detective here in brooklyn.
ā³ aaron_hotchner: i donāt know what youāre talking about, dave.
ā³ itspennyg: sir hotch, donāt you worry! detective peralta is in no way infatuated with our (Y/N) because heās happily chained to detective santiago
ā³ spencer.reid: i donāt know whether i should thank you for this penelope, but i did not miss the mushiness of lovesick (Y/N)
ā³ e.prentiss: aaaaand weāre back to the madly in love hotch and (Y/N)
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its(Y/L/N): i am gifting everyone with young aaron hotchner because i simply cannot stop swooning
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aaron_hotchner: sweetheart, i love you butā this is embarrassing.
ā³ e.prentiss: this feels almost illegal to see. what even happened to you?
ā³ jenniferjareau: i seriously cannot believe this was hotch
ā³ itspennyg: HOTCH??? I AM??? IN ABSOLUTE SHOCK??? š§
ā³ spencer.reid: just erase the wrinkles and lessen his eyebrows a tad bit, weāll come up with the image of the present aaron hotchner.
ā³ derekmorgan: boss man mustāve gotten a lot of ladies
ā³ its(Y/L/N): my manās so handsome though. present or past >:( also morgan, no
ā³ aaron_hotchner: my girl :) and morgan, i do not want to bread to be thrown at me
ā³ daverossi: sheās saying that so you could let her get that dog.
ā³ its(Y/L/N): literally go choke on pasta, rossi š
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its(Y/L/N): someone sent jack and i to run errands just so he could send me this selfie saying ācome home mamaā š„ŗ HE GAVE IN TO ME. welcome to the hotchners, cooper! š¾š¤
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e.prentiss: i simply cannot believe how much of a simp hotch is for you
ā³ derekmorgan: she should make him give us more weekends š
ā³ its(Y/L/N): your wish is my command my lovely friends
itspennyg: every time (Y/N) uses āwelcome to the hotchnersā, i forget you two arenāt married :( WHEN WILL I HEAR THE WEDDING BELLS šš
ā³ aaron_hotchner: soon enough, garcia.
ā³ jenniferjareau: hotch, im gonna need you to pay for my ear check-up because (Y/N) just called me to screech into the phone
ā³ spencer.reid: yeah, youāre gonna need to pay for two check-ups.
ā³ e.prentiss: make that three, she busted out my ear drums. put a ring on her now, hotch
ā³ its(Y/L/N): EXCUSE ME I DID NOT SCREECH IN YOUR EARS š
ā³ aaron_hotchner: i heard you from the sidewalk when i threw out the trash, sweetheart.
ā³ daverossi: i donāt know whether i should be terrified or amused. but im gonna need that (Y/L/N)-hotchner wedding soon.
A/N: im enjoying way too much with this fake social media thing and this makes me yearn more for our favorite grumpy dilf š ANYWAYS i hope you love it, lmk what you think :)
ps. yes i did put brooklyn 99 in the cm universe š¤ just want my crime fighting worlds to collide <3
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HELLO?!! letās talk about this parallel because i have been thinking about it for WEEKS!!! both of their exit scenes were with each otherā¦ jotch rights! š„°
