Spring Soul... Thoughts

Trying to figure out life...

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

The thing is, if you never go anywhere and never talk to anyone and never reach out to new people and never text first because you have convinced yourself you're unlovable, then your loneliness will become a self-fulfilling prophecy - and that's NOT because you're actually inherently unlovable...

[coping-skill-toolkit]

During my first month with my therapist, I was given this worksheet to read and work on. She noticed that while I was talking with her, that my thoughts followed a lot of these. I wasn’t aware that my anxiety had brought me down paths of low self-worth and stinky thinking.  After a couple of weeks of talking with her, she gave me this worksheet to work on. 

While, at first, I thought these weren’t going to work out, I was very surprised to see just how easy they were to use . My homework at that time was to identify which sort of thinking I used on the regular and which ones would best challenge them for me. So, what do you think? Do any of the maladaptive thinking patterns sound like you? which ways would you like to untwist your thinking? 

[idratherberunning49-deactivated]

[tri-ingagain-deactivated2025032]

I really feel this.

[adviceformefromme]

10 ways I became anxiety free.

To overcome anxiety you need to put in the work, this is not some click-your-fingers-and-its-gone shit. You need to return home to yourself and learn to live in alignment with your truth and not what society expects from you. I went from years on years of crippling anxiety and panic attacks to living completely anxiety-free for many years now, here’s what I did....

1 ) I fucking paused. I created a space for myself daily to meditate / journal. I stopped listening to the outside world and started tuning into me. I noticed the voice in my head and all the ways it was kicking me down at every given opportunity. I noticed how I worked a job that was so far from everything I loved and valued in life, I started noticing the men I was choosing and how they would fuel my anxiety by giving me scraps of love which I accepted and tolerated for years. I noticed the ‘friends’ who’s energy I felt off around, I noticed my vices, drinking alcohol even dabbling in drugs and smoking for release. In pausing I really got to see how my life was so far from love, and this distance manifested as anxiety as a signal for me to come back home to myself. 

2) I stopped talking / obsessing over my anxiety. The more I read about it, spoke about it, the more it could live within me. I was feeding it each day the more I focused on it. I stopped giving anxiety my energy. I accepted it was there, and focused on feeling better. 

3) I got help. I found a therapist I trusted and could understand me (it can take some time) and this was a game changer. I did a course of cognitive behavioural therapy for 3 months (which I privately extended to 9 months) and learnt all the ways my childhood wounds had been playing out in my adult life. I would choose men that would validate my belief that I was not worthy, something I believed as a child from my dad. There was a long list of old beliefs that I was playing out in my everyday life triggering my anxiety at every opportunity. 

4) I moved my body, I did regular exercise, dancing, yoga, running, pilates, walking. In order to get that uncomfortable feeling out my stomach, it was crucial the energy in my body was being moved otherwise I was energetically stuck.

5) I learnt how to connect with my inner child, I found out what I needed, where I was neglecting myself, and this was huge for my anxiety relief. I read Susan Anderson for steps on how to do this.

6) I got new friends. I changed my circle, and with this my energy changed. I spent time with women who inspired me, educated me, lifted me up, and this took time. There were periods I had no friends but I knew it was more important to be alone than be around people who were not aligned with me, and my values. 

7) I stopped dating unavailable men, as my self love and worth grew I was no longer interested in men that rejected or treated me like an option. I choose men who treated me as I desired, with respect, care, interest, love and affection. Hot and cold men held no place in my life and this helped shift ALOT of my anxiety as my father wound was a huge part of the anxiety I was feeling on a daily basis. A man ignoring me for 3 days would trigger severe anxiety until I heard back.

9) I choose a career and jobs in alignment with my truth. I said no to jobs not paying me enough, jobs with toxic teams. At interviews I learnt about the culture and asked questions to see if I was a good fit for me. 

10) I poured into my passions and built my confidence, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and proved my limiting beliefs wrong. I travelled alone, I learnt to enjoy my own company, I read books, attended retreats, listened to music that made me feel good, I helped other people, I switched off my phone. 

All of the above was a huge process spanning over 10 years, it required time, energy, determination, heaps of self love and commitment, financial investment (self-funded), and an overwhelming desire to heal the parts of me that my anxiety was attached to. 

[wakeishasunshine]

For those just getting started on your "becoming her" journey, here's some tips to start...(also for those who's seasonal depression has popped in for a visit)

Start with s shower and put on some real clothes. (no need to explain yourself in your head, just do it)

Eat a meal you actually enjoy (doesn't have to be the healthiest, baby steps)

Find a book you enjoy (audible is a good app to start with if you don't enjoy physical books, also it doesn't need to be self help, just something you enjoy)

Light some candles, and throw on some music you enjoy. (I like Sade or Alina Baraz stations on Pandora).

Clean a corner in your space that has been bothering you for awhile. (Remember baby steps)

Do a brain dump in a notebook or start journaling minimal five minutes a day.

Get some fresh air everyday. (If you work from home, go outside for ten minutes in the morning and during your break)

Don't sit on your phone all day (especially when you first wake up)

Delete anyone on social media who brings your mood down or makes you feel bad about yourself.

Find shows, YouTube videos, and influencers that align with what you're trying to become. (please keep in mind influencers will not always show you the bad, their jobs are to show all the highlights of their life. But it helps that the content is inspirational and a reflection of where your trying to go in life)

Dig deep into your religion and or spirituality. (This will help guide you, remember religion and spirituality is for you and your guidance. It doesn't mean beat others in the head with it)

HYDRATE!! (I feel like I can't stress this enough, try to drink 2-4 bottles daily to start)

[cokepearl]

Pink sweet treats 🎀🧁🎀 ౨ৎ･ﾟ:*

[malusokay]

easy steps to better skin

Getting into skin care can be really overwhelming, with everyone telling you what to do, which products to use, and what you're doing wrong. Here you have some easy tips to improve your skin! <3

Wash your face twice a day. Once in the morning + once at night.

Stop picking your skin. It never really helps anyways.

Wash your hands more often.

Buy a silk pillowcase. Also great for your hair!

Use SPF daily. No excuses here.

Don't touch your face too much.

Wash your makeup brushes. At least once a week, come ooon!

Don't over-exfoliate your skin.

Find out what your skin type is.

Don't wear makeup at home. Letting the skin breathe yk?

If you have sensitive skin, try Korean skincare.

Go easy on the sugar. Helped me a lot! :)

As always, please feel free to add more suggestions in the comments! <3

♡⊹˚₊ Love ya ₊˚⊹♡

[la-quisine]

Creme & Sugar - Anaheim, CA

Unicorn Hot Chocolate

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Reduce Social Anxiety To Boost Your Confidence, Make Friends, & Become Magnetic

Some practical tips to reframe your thoughts going into social settings to help you boost your confidence and step into your power. Here's how to hold your own in every conversation, connect with anyone, and use the art of seduction, influence, and charm to become a social magnet to level up in every area of life.

HOW TO MANAGE SOCIAL ANXIETY: 

Everyone Is Self-Conscious: Remember that, like yourself, everyone is more focused on (and critical of) how they’re presenting themselves and their actions, not yours. People care too much about how they look to overanalyze what you do. They often forget most (if not all) of the things you say in a casual conversation by the next day. Realizing that we all are too self-focused to really care about the small things others do or say is freeing. This reminder can help calm your nerves and reframe the situation to ease anxiety when you start to worry about what others are thinking of you in a social setting or during a conversation.  

Prioritize Self-Presentation: Consider how confident you feel with your actions and self-presentation when interacting with others before worrying about their impressions of you. Focus on how you can show up as your best self when engaging in social activities and conversations. People notice when others like and feel comfortable with themselves. This quality is attractive to others and will make them feel more at ease when speaking to you. Interactions flow better when your conversation partner is relaxed, so finding ways to stay calm when speaking makes it easier to manage social anxiety. Allow your self-assurance to speak for itself. This ability to hold your own will radiate through your words, tonality, delivery, and mannerisms during any conversation. Simply put – People like others who already like themselves. Who you attract into your circle reflects the person you've decided to be.

Listen. More than you speak: This tip kills two birds with one stone – it allows you to sit back without worrying about what you need to say while allowing the other person to feel heard. The easiest way to be well-liked is to give people the space to share their thoughts, have them be valued, and feel understood. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Practice active listening to increase your charm. Use the information you uncover to drive the conversation. You don't necessarily need to be chatty or extroverted to be charismatic (more on this point later). 

TIPS FOR SOCIALIZING & MAKING FRIENDS: 

Get Curious To Connect: Follow-up questions are your best friend if you get nervous and anticipate a wave of social anxiety. These questions have a dual benefit: You’re allowing others to indulge in subjects or experiences that resonate with them and helping to guide the conversation. Listen to ways that you can branch off into related topics, mutual interests, and shared emotions or experiences. Ask relevant questions to keep the conversation flowing and demonstrates your interest and desire to connect with the other person. There’s no quality more charming than making others feel special and understood. This interpersonal skill allows you to connect with others without feeling like you need to fill up air time or be more vulnerable than you’re comfortable. It can be especially helpful to remember this advice when conversing with a stranger, authority figure, or someone else you want to impress without looking inferior (teacher, boss, industry leader, partner’s parents, etc.).  

Read & Develop Interests/Opinions:  Expanding your knowledge base provides an entry point to more people, engaging conversations, and opportunities. It’s easier to speak to people when you have some understanding of relevant topics others are discussing around the table or are of interest to the person in front of you. Take time to read about and study topics you’re interested in. Stay on top of cultural topics (movies, music, books, TV shows, etc.) and news within your chosen industry (or one you’re hoping to break into), different destinations you’ve been to or want to go to, favorite products, etc. Develop some robust opinions (don’t share those on hot-button topics like politics and religion) on these subjects and current events. Having the ability to listen to others' perspectives on a topic with an understanding of the subject matter and dive further into the topic with a distinct POV makes for an engaging conversation (and a potential new connection). 

Learn The Art of The Follow-Up: If you hit it off with someone, exchange contact information (social media, phone number, email – depending on the context of the situation and level of initial connection). Send them a relevant message at some point over the next few days to stay connected. Try something related to the conversation – like an article on a topic you discussed, or a recommendation for a coffee shop in the area. Or, get more personal if you’re comfortable, and ask how a meeting went, if they ended up liking a certain show, movie, or book, or whether they want to grab lunch at that place they mentioned they love. Remain thoughtful and interested without looking desperate. People want to know others are thinking about them as long you’re not obsessive. 

BEING EXTROVERTED VS. SOCIABLE:

Extroversion vs. introversion is about how you recharge. You can’t change this part of your nature. For some people, being around others for too long makes them feel exhausted no matter how comfortable they feel in the situation or enjoy the company. As an extroverted introvert, I’ve noticed that learning to be sociable is the key to connecting with others – even if you realize mid-conversation that you might need a week of reading a book in bed to bounce back from attending a couple of events. 

Learn how to present yourself with relaxed, open body language. Smile, and make eye contact (but not too much). Speak slowly and carefully with pauses, so your conversation partner latches on to every word and is intrigued to hear more. Use your tone of voice to communicate the emotion behind your words. Ensure the other person is done speaking before responding. Nod your head to acknowledge the person’s talking points and show they’re heard. Laugh at the correct times to bond and share your sense of humor. Shake their hand firmly. Wave and hug goodbye (when appropriate). 

[yenshu-deactivated20240911]

Don't allow others to consume you. If they don't call, go to sleep. If they don't message you, put away your phone & have a good day. If they are distant and refuse to tell you what's wrong, go home and do something fun. You live for yourself first. They are secondary.

[khayriya-deactivated20250830]

Brianna Wiest, 101 essays that will change the way you think

[purwoland]

i have to watch the cutest things before bed: cinnamoroll the movie, bratz movies, barbie movies, strawberry shortcake movies, baking videos, beauty tutorials, fashion runways, vintage movies like breakfast at tiffany’s or bambi, mediation + affrimation music, anything sanrio + puroland vlogs. only the sweetest things for the sweetest dreams! ପ(๑ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ଓ

[strwbabycake]

i love strawberry shortcake movies 🍰

[astrabear]

The tough thing about boundaries is that it’s not enough to state them, you have to enforce them.

I think some folks see “setting boundaries” as a kind of magic talisman to influence other people’s behavior. “I’ll tell you what I need or can’t accept, and you will act accordingly.” And sometimes that’s what happens, and that’s great! But if the other person disregards your stated boundaries, it doesn’t mean setting boundaries didn’t work.

Because boundaries aren’t about others’ behavior, they’re about your own. If the other person’s behavior doesn’t change, then yours has to. “Please don’t discuss [x topic] with me” is a request. “If you continue to talk about [x topic] then I will end this conversation/hang up/leave” is a boundary, which you must then enact. The point is less about stopping the other person (although that’s ideal) and more about protecting yourself. And you have to be committed to protecting yourself, because no one else will be.

You have to be so committed that you’re willing to tolerate other people being hurt or angry or uncomfortable. You have to accept that some relationships might change. You have to hold onto the idea that it’s all right for them to change, because the way they were before was hurting you, and you deserve to not be hurt. You gave them a choice: maintain a relationship or keep doing the thing that hurts you, and they chose to keep hurting you, so if the situation is now awkward or unpleasant that was because of their choice. Enforcing boundaries means deciding that if someone is going to feel bad here, it need not be always and only you.

There is no magic formula that will make other people treat you kindly and respectfully. But you can learn to treat yourself with kindness and respect. That’s what enforcing a boundary is.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[brazillianprincess]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

How to Build Emotional Resilience

1. Talk to someone: Sharing how we feel helps to reduce the inner tension (but make sure it is someone who cares about your feelings).

2. Work on improving your self-esteem: Self-esteem is the way you see and feel about yourself … and there are lots of lots of things that undermine our self esteem. For example, experiencing a break up, putting on unwanted weight, doing badly on a test or being excluded by our friends. It’s important that we keep on working on our self-esteem by treating ourselves well and noticing when we succeed (instead of noticing the negatives).

3. Manage your stress levels: If we’re always feelings stressed then it’s hard to cope with life. We tend to over react and have a negative mind set This drains us of our energy and saps our will to fight. So take a look at your lifestyle and see what you can drop. You may be doing too much, and don’t have time to relax.

4. Make the time and effort to enjoy yourself: Doing things that we enjoy helps to improve the way we feel. So build in little things like having coffee with a friend.

5. Choose a healthy life style: Pay attention to your diet and how much you exercise. Try to limit alcohol, and don’t deprive yourself of sleep.

6. Develop good relationships: Do your friends make you happy? Do you enjoy their company? Are they kind of people who care about your heart? Do they treat you with respect and help to boost your self-esteem? If not, then maybe it is time to look for other friends.

[gretchensinister]

One of the most life-changing things I ever learned came from Mythbusters, where they tested and proved (with cognitive testing puzzles and reaction time tests) that lying down and resting with the intention to sleep STILL provided significant mental benefits over just staying awake, even if a person couldn’t fall asleep in the amount of time they had. 

It helps me to actually sleep to know that just lying down with my eyes closed is still doing me some good, and helps me to not freak out/beat myself up when I stay up later than intended. Any amount of rest is better than no rest!

So if you didn’t know that…now you do

[rogha]

do you know that i think of this post every time i can’t sleep op. what mythbusters did for you, you have done for a great many others.