So, IāveĀ realized that I would probably be like %1000 more productive and happy right now if I had never gotten into this roleplaying in this fandom. Like, even though Iāve barely been posting for the past week or something like that, I still spend way too much time on here, mostly waiting for things that arenāt going to happen. Itās just super not productive and pointless and deters me from doing the things I actually need to do.
For instance, I have a shit ton of homework to do, but Iām here right now writing this stupid post.
Anyway, I guess the point that Iām trying, and probably failing, to make here is that I need to stop doing this. And I donāt mean just limit how often Iām online or go on hiatus so I can focus on my classes. I need to stop. Honestly, the past week or so is the least active Iāve been on here in like five years, and despite all the deadlines coming up for school, itās been one of the best weeks of my life. I went outside, hung out with friends, and stopped obsessing over my stupid rping blog. I was happy.
Iām not going to delete my blog. These characters, and all of you people who wrote with me, are a big part of my life, and I donāt want that to just disappear. I mean, itās been years, and I would consider a lot of you my friends, even if you donāt think of me as one. Anyone who wants to keep in touch with me through discord or wherever is more than welcome to, but I wonāt be roleplaying anymore.
For all intents and purposes, my OCās are dead.
And itās not that I wasnāt enjoying myself. I was. I really loved rping more than most things, and I love Wreck it Ralph and everything. Itās just...I think I made it more important than it really was. Whether or not people kept replying to my threads or whether or not people decided to reblog my pictures rather than just liking them was part of how I measured my value as a person. And I just donāt need all the negativity that I was putting on myself.
Besides, Iāve started to realize that this...just doesnāt suit me anymore. The stories to be told about my characters are ones I donāt care to tell any longer.
So, as Iām sure you can guess by now, Iām leaving this blog. Iām probably not leaving tumblr entirely, but Iām done obsessing over this fandom. Maybe Iāll start a new blog completely dedicated to my own writing or something. I donāt know. All I know is that this doesnāt work for me, and Iāve ignored that fact for far too long.
Itās time for it to stop.
So, to everyone whoās rped with me, thanks. Itās been fun.
jacobvanloon
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
