Gentleman spy.

Galahad.

[horrificmemes]

100 Ways to Say ‘I Hate You’

I saw a post about 100 ways to say ‘I love you’, so I thought I’d make the anti-version if it doesn’t exist already. Roleplayers, send these to each other for angst reasons! Tw for emotional abuse, language, and some major rejection themes, though some  them are joking and could be used for friendly rivals or pals who play-insult one another. Change or add pronouns as necessary.

“You’re a disappointment to me.”

“I don’t care if you live or die.”

“I used to care about you. Now? I regret every second I wasted.”

“How do you think I feel? I’m pissed off!”

“Go. Just go.”

“If you come back, I won’t be here.”

“I’ve never despised someone as much as I despise you.”

“Ha! You think I care about you? What do you think I am, desperate?”

“I regret ever saying ‘hello’.”

“Leave and don’t come back, ever.”

“Remember when we first met? I wish I didn’t.”

“You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made.”

“Don’t touch me. Don’t even look at me.” “You took months/years of my life away. I’ll never get those back.”

“I saw a trash bag on the side of the road today. Reminded me of you.”

“I could have been doing so much better than wasting my time with you.”

“You’re a sick bastard, you know that?”

“I don’t care.”

“Go ahead, leave. Don’t worry about coming back.”

“You’re such a piece of shit.”

“I didn’t think you could be any more of a shithead, but you just proved me wrong.”

“You’re so stupid.”

“Why do I waste my time with you?”

“You’re not the person I thought you were.”

“Hey! Just a daily reminder: you’re a piece of shit!”

“I deserve so much better.”

“We’re not friends. We were never friends!”

“I pretended to like you because I felt bad for you! How did you fall for that?”

“I never want to see you again.”

“You’ve done nothing but make my life a living hell.”

“Don’t apologize - you don’t deserve my forgiveness!”

“No, I’m never giving you another chance!”

“I wish you were never born.”

“You’re the last person I wanted to see right now.”

“I’d rather be working with anyone else in the whole world right now.”

“When you get back, your shit’s gonna be on the front lawn. Take it and get out.”

“Go ahead, choose them! You deserve each other.”

“I don’t know what they see in you.”

“You’re an embarrassment to me.”

“You’re an embarrassment to all of us.”

“I wish it was you. I wish it was you to die instead of them.”

“God, why did I have to end up working with the biggest asshole in the world?”

“How could you think I ever loved you? You seriously think I’d sink that low?”

“Sorry, I just puked in my mouth a bit. I accidentally looked at your face.”

“How can you even live with yourself?”

“If I was your mirror, I’d break myself just so you would throw me in the trash and I wouldn’t have to look at you.”

“Being with you was the worst time of my life.”

“You’re a monster.”

“Not a day goes by that I don’t wake up wishing I was dead because of you.”

“I’m going to ruin your fucking life.”

“You said you would change, but you never did! You never will!”

“Some people are just born to fail. Sorry you’re one of the unlucky ones.”

“You’re so worthless, you hardly even exist to me.”

“I wish I could go back to the day I met you, and just walk away.”

“If you give me that look one more time, I’m skipping jump-rope with your large intestines.”

“Honestly, I’m embarrassed to even know you.”

“Ugh, it smells like something died in here. Oh. It’s just you.”

“You need to stop. You hurt everyone around you!”

“Until you get your shit together, I don’t want to hear you complain.”

“Look at you. You’re disgusting.”

“Stop making me look bad.”

“You have a face that makes me wish punching people wasn’t frowned upon in our society.”

“Shut your mouth. I don’t want to hear your obnoxious voice.”

“Go play in traffic.”

“Fuck off.”

“If I saw you in the ocean clinging to a log for safety, I’d save the log and let you drown. At least wood can become something useful, like toilet paper.”

“How could I ever love something as terrible and hideous as you?”

“I can’t even look at you right now.”

“It was all a lie.”

“I never loved you, and I never will.”

“Don’t try to beg. It won’t work.”

“You’re not worth the mud on the bottom of my shoes.”

“Look at you. You’re pathetic. I’ve never seen a sadder sight.”

“I’m going to hurt you slowly, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”

“For what you did to them, I’ll do the same to you.”

“An apology? You want to offer an apology? No. I don’t accept it.”

“You’re everything I hate in a person.”

“I wish you were dead.”

“You’re nothing to me. Less than nothing!”

“What a sad sack of shit you are.”

“My life is in fucking shambles thanks to you!”

“How could you? You bastard!”

“I’d rather eat sewage than ever touch you again.”

“Hey asshole, I’m here to ruin your day, just like I did yesterday and the day before that.”

“You’d be more useful if you weren’t even alive.”

“Hey, it’s my least favorite waste of space.”

“Every day that I woke up next to you, I was tempted to smother you with a pillow while you slept.”

“Love you? Don’t make me laugh.”

“Just thinking about you makes me sick to my stomach.”

“You deserve a slow and painful death for what you’ve done.”

“I can’t stand people like you.”

“Stop doing that thing. You know, that thing I hate. Breathing.”

“If I could trade you for a nest of angry wasps, you would be long gone.”

“I can’t wait to dance on your grave.”

“If we were the last two people on earth, I’d be subtracting one.”

“I never want to see the likes of your filth around here again.”

“I’m disgusted by you.”

“Fuck you!”

“If I ever see you again, it will be far too soon.”

“I have three words for you: Burn. In. Hell.”

“I hate you.”

[spyfought-blog]

kyokasuigetsuu:

“Shouldn’t a gentleman watch his language in front of a lady?” 

“... Yes, perhaps, but sometimes the word just slips out.”

[sspaceweaselaesthetic-deactivat]

I’m a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. Hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon madam

Colin Firth in Kingsman: The Secret Service (via themoderndaymerlin)

[yvecz]

Galahad

[kingsman-savilerow-deactivated2]

Kingsman and Statesman weapons

[somcthingtolose-blog]

@spyfought

                “hey, what’re you doing up?”

       so what if she was ALSO up? long enough to make the tea she’s carrying quietly back into the bedroom to boot. that’s not the POINT.

[spyfought-blog]

“Y’know, I could ask you the same thing.” He tilts his head to the side, eyebrow quirking up ever so slightly. He decides to retract and answer her question, though. He’s not good at avoiding such things when it comes to her. “I can’t sleep. Don’t know why, probably because I drank coffee too late in the day.” Or because he had nightmares. But he won’t admit to that.

[dragonroleplaystarters]

Punishment Starters!

“Are you going to come here, or are you going to make me come get you myself?” 

“Don’t look at me like that, you brought this on yourself.” 

“Stay still, squirming will make it worse.” 

“Keep count. If you lose it, we’re starting over. Understand?” 

“Go get me the cane.” 

“Take your shirt off and put your hands up against the wall.” 

“Open your mouth. I’m putting the gag in so your screaming won’t alarm someone.” 

“Did you disobey my orders?” 

“I thought I told you not to touch that?” 

“Have you finished everything I told you to do?” 

“If you don’t stop acting like this, I’ll be forced to use different tactics.” 

“Your skin turns so red under my palm.” 

“Bend over the back of the couch.” 

“Twenty hits with the belt sounds fair to me. You don’t get a say in it.” 

“I don’t care that it hurts, you’ve earned it.” 

“You might want to bite something, the whip has a bite to it.” 

“Come here and bend over my lap.” 

“I’m tired of your smart mouth.” 

[spyfought-blog]

It’s a new dawn It’s a new day It’s a new life For me… and I’m feeling good

Independent, canon-divergent Gary “Eggsy” Unwin of the Kingsman film series. Written by Tali.Graphic made by the lovely @wingedcupids​

[spyfought-blog]

45 minutes into this documentary and I just now realized it’s not about the actual bogeyman. it’s about a killer called the bogeyman. can you hear my disappointment?

[exekutiert]

I want a cigarette and five orgasms

[watchanish]

[spyfought-blog]

“What the fuck are you on about now?”

[spyfought-blog]

OH SHIT I didn’t notice that I reached 100 followers. Holy fucking shit. Thanks u fuckin nerds.

[spyfought-blog]

When will I get on this blog and actually do things? We’ll never know.

[spyfought-blog]

eggplant

[spyfought-blog]

i made a thing

[stoirmteine]

Two more years of this shit? Dorrian could spew all of his happy fluffy nonsense as much as he wanted but he didn’t know what it felt like. Even when she had shouted at him every awful manipulative thing George had done to her he just shrugged it off and said he couldn’t be that violent. 

She had thought about running off the road and into the lake but decided against it. Lewis was probably gonna be fucked up enough about what she was gonna do without having his car wrecked. She pulled off onto the curb and turned the car off but left the keys in. Laying back in the seat and drinking some one of her mum’s ‘special mommy juice’. The radio was on and it was some classic rock background noise. 

Dorrian didn’t understand. Johnathan didn’t understand. Her mother was out of town on another failed attempt to find a good man. Lewis was gone, he couldn’t protect her anymore. George didn’t care or didn’t really understand how his actions had cut her so deeply. 

It must have been long past midnight. It had already been past dinner time when Dorrian came over and his stupid attempts to be her friend only upset her more. Trying to fuck his dad probably wasn’t the best idea she had ever had but it would have been some nice justice. Ruin their perfect little nuclear fucking family. 

Getting out of the car, finishing off the bottle before dropped it to the ground. Despite what Dorrian thought she wasn’t over dramatic. It’s not like she mashed it or anything and hey she wasn’t gonna wreck the car. Instead she just walked onto the bridge and made her way over the protective railing, holding onto the cold metal structure. It was the end of summer. Two more years of this bullshit. It seemed like a life time. It seemed like it would never end. The pictures were on the internet, they’d never go away. Everyone she knew, knew her as Isla the crazy slut bitch that lies for attention. 

There would be no note. No one wanted a reason. Her mother would cry for a bit and then get over it and find another man who’s arms to fall into. She might even use her dead daughter as a sympathy play the next time she got pulled over. George nearly killed her plenty of times so telling him it was his fault would be fruitless. The teachers and school didn’t care. Feliciano was a fair weather friend. He couldn’t be bothered to get sucked into her sad pathetic life. Dorrian should have seen the warning signs but refused to do anything she really needed. She just wanted someone to get it, to be on her side, to give a fuck. 

It was better this way. Letting go of the pipe and leaning forward, letting gravity do the work that would pull her down. Isla didn’t pay attention much. She wasn’t sure if the fall would kill her or if she would drown. Either way, it didn’t matter. 

[spyfought-blog]

Eggsy had only recently moved there. Despite it being late at night, he still thought it was a good time to explore everything. The town was a safe one compared to where he was from, so being out so late wasn’t anything he was worried about. Even if anything did happen, he’s smart enough to know how to get out of any situations like that.

He had stopped when he noticed the car parked by the bridge. His initial instinct was to walk the opposite way-- cars parked in these areas so late at night never meant anything good. Usually people selling drugs or someone looking for a fight. But it felt different. Especially after he saw the woman near the edge of the bridge. He just watched for a good few minutes, hands stuffed into the pockets of his faded jeans. Maybe she was just taking a night stroll like him. That seemed like the most logical explanation.

Until she fell. Eyes blinking, Eggsy ran to the rails of the bridge. He jumped up onto the railing, not hesitating to leap down after her. As soon as his body lands in the darkened water, he dives down and swims towards her, an arm wrapping tightly around her body. He pulls her up to the surface of the water so both of them can get a good breath of air, then he pulls them to the shore. He doesn’t know her, but he wants to scream at her for doing something so stupid. He doesn’t, though. That won’t help the situation. 

So he just looks to her instead, brows furrowed together. “... I’m assuming that wasn’t just a random, late night swim in the lake.”