Squandered Cerebration

I write. I don't know what but I write. Somedays, it makes a little sense. Most times they don't. I try to write. They're just words smashed together every time I feel. I write only to curb my fear of leaving them where they are, in my head, only to have them completely annihilate me. So, I write.

[thememoiristslosttrain]

Don't burst my bubble

Sometimes, I wish I could live in the crawl space Under your bed And climb out when you need me and drag you to bed.

We’d kiss and tumble And fuck and stumble

And nothing would matter, we’d be happy; intoxicated Because nothing could touch us in our lovely pretty bubble.

- A @eternalhate

[thememoiristslosttrain]

Scavenger hunt

We’re all searching for something. Looking, hoping, yearning Believing, it will complete us

And we will do that forever;

For even when it is staring us in the face, We’d never recognise that something Because we never knew what it was to begin with, we just needed a lying truth to believe in.

- A

[thememoiristslosttrain]

The Calm and the Storm

The past held pride in detachment; Merely imprisoned by false attachment.

The seas ran deep - wild, so blatantly free, as the Tempest grew But Calm followed setting the tempest askew.

Grabbing her by the hand, Calm sunk into her, He soothed her soul as he transformed her.

Her shell, though a crude, protective gear; Held an inside, no longer filled with anger and fear.

The Tempest turned, now tamed but still free And Calm would be the only one to see her as she ought to be seen.

- A

[thememoiristslosttrain]

I am nothing

I’m air, you need me but never see me I’m the cold, you feel me only to lock me away I’m the night, you know I’ll be there when the sun sets and you’ll always dismiss me.

[thememoiristslosttrain]

The Calm and the Storm

The past held pride in detachment; Merely imprisoned by false attachment.

The seas ran deep - wild, so blatantly free, as the Tempest grew But Calm followed setting the tempest askew.

Grabbing her by the hand, Calm sunk into her, He soothed her soul as he transformed her.

Her shell, though a crude, protective gear; Held an inside, no longer filled with anger and fear.

The Tempest turned, now tamed but still free And Calm would be the only one to see her as she ought to be seen.

- A

[thememoiristslosttrain]

Scavenger hunt

We’re all searching for something. Looking, hoping, yearning Believing, it will complete us

And we will do that forever;

For even when it is staring us in the face, We’d never recognise that something Because we never knew what it was to begin with, we just needed a lying truth to believe in.

[thememoiristslosttrain]

Why?

One of my very wonderful friends and I were having a conversation. He seemed a touch off so I asked him if he was okay and this is what he said to me,

“Why do people have to be this lonely? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?”

I wish I had an answer to that but I know there is an end to it. There has to be.

[thememoiristslosttrain]

What's the real reason you're depressed?

I’ve been asked this a million times all I could say was,

“If I had a definite answer to that maybe I’d be half cured by now.”

I can feel it setting in. The anxiety, the storm. It’s deadening. I’m losing control. Don’t hurt me. I give up. Take control. You win.

[thememoiristslosttrain]

What's the real reason you're depressed?

I’ve been asked this a million times all I could say was,

“If I had a definite answer to that maybe I’d be half cured by now.”

I can feel it setting in. The anxiety, the storm. It’s deadening. I’m losing control. Don’t hurt me. I give up. Take control. You win.

[thememoiristslosttrain]

santacabasa you’re an absolute sweetheart for that thank you so much. You don’t know how much that means to me

[thememoiristslosttrain]

So this is what my birthday looked like. I got loads of flowers the yummiest Red Velvet Cake ever! My demonic sister, @tomemeornottomeme got me this awesome T.A.R.D.I.S Cup for me that I’m so scared of using that it’s still in the box. My cousins decorated the wall for me which was absolutely adorable and my dearest @eternalhate made me a mixtape (Well, a mixed DVD. Which I’m sure was a million times harder) and then met me a few days after and gave me the most amazing wonderful day I’ve had in years. He made me happy. My sweetheart, @hallucogenic sent me such a sweet text it made me want to hug the living daylight out of her. My parents put up balloons and got all my favourite food. They made me feel good. Everyone was so kind and wonderful.They made sure I felt loved and wonderful and extremely wanted. Loved and needed, like my presence was needed and It felt good. They made me feel like it was ok for me to be here Over all. They made me feel good. Happy even. I’m very lucky. Thank you.

[rordddme]

Severed

Days can be both good and bad. We’re half and half today. Here’s R.O.R.D.’s latest poem.

Days, weeks and months, I’ve suffered, seeing no end. Many, trying and failing to lift the thick haze. Frustrated, they leave. White flag held high. I can’t really help it, trust me, I try. It’s not a tug of war I had in mind But then I lost control and what I wanted, I was denied. Yes, I pushed and didn’t pull, kicked them away. Faster than light on a dark stormy day. But when it sinks it, I…

View On WordPress

[rordddme]

The Pretender

Sometimes it’s easier to pretend till you hit breaking point and just explode. Check out R.O.R.D.’s latest

I’m breaking down. Slowly crumbling, just not yet dying. My heart, plays a tune that echoes through my soul. Holding me in release, Holding, and then letting go. So I’ll smile for you. Laugh and be everything you need. Just as long as I know you’re happy, And you’ve been relieved of your duty to me. I’m fine. I can take it. I’m a big girl, you know. I’m breaking but you’ll never know. I’m dying…

View On WordPress

[rordddme]

Writer's block or is it?

Finally back again, hopefully for a while. Here’s R.O.R.D’s obsessively, compulsively, depressive, attempt at explaining why we’ve been gone so long.

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

So I’m back…again. I figured, today was as good a day as any other to put something up. I still haven’t figured out what I want to even write about. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve opened up a new post, written for a good hour and having deemed…

View On WordPress

[rordddme]

The Cookie Monster knows just how to get wordy with it.

R.O.R.D’s getting wordy with it again. This time it’s all about living in the now. Today is all that matters.

“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” – Lewis Carroll (Alice’s Adventures in wonderland #1)

What is it about the present that makes us so different? You are five seconds more different than you were five seconds ago. I have seen change as being both welcome and not. Somethings, I wish would have stayed the way they were but others, I’m glad they didn’t.…

View On WordPress

[rordddme]

Lead the way

There’s a thin line between admiration and obsession,we’re guessing this is how it began for lil Dahmer or Bundy.

S/N: I couldn’t resist the Meme. Forgive me.

Who are your idols? Lincoln, Frost or someone great? Someone inspiring? Someone that’s changed Life’s face?

Who do you want to be? A doctor, a poet, a dancer. Be just like your idol? Be someone great?

I have my idols too. My God, they were beyond great. But when I was asked that question, I got sent to the school psych aid.

I don’t think that was…

View On WordPress

[rordddme]

Colour me scared 

It’s safe to say I scare easy. The first time I watched the exorcist I wouldnt sleep alone.  I was really young when it came out but the possessed girl who’s head could do a full 360 with those demented yellow eyes scared the living crap outta me.  

Somehow, a story being based on true happenings makes a movie a gazillion times scarier. So naturally Emily Rose terrified me. I was only able to…

View On WordPress

[rordddme]

Fear me not... I'm only Fear.

R.O.R.D’s getting wordy with it. Today we have a gorgeous piece of strength with a side of some seriously fearsome quotes.

Soooooo… today’s theme is fear. Fear of fear but also the weird love we have for that very fear. Fright or Flight. The rush. The adrenaline pumping through you. The butterflies in your tummy. All of those horribly weird things you feel when something scares you but you dare to do them anyway.

These are 4 Quotes that just reach out to me and tell me it’s OK to be scared but not OK to use it as an…

View On WordPress