I know many other transfems have probably said this a million times already, and maybe I'm just old and screaming at clouds as I'm rapidly approaching 5 years since coming out, but I really am getting tired of the whole "Gender-affirming misogyny" "Ewphoria" jokes being endlessly thrown around in our community when we're experiencing any of the kind of misogyny that cis women would experience, as if it's some sort of brand new breathtaking experience for all of us, I honestly see it as a very subtle way to say that the misogyny we experience after transitioning doesn't hurt us as much (Do you ever see cis women making these kinds of jokes?), and that the misogyny we experience before transitioning doesn't even exist
It's not gender-affirming, it's not a middle finger to transphobes, it's being punished for being the "inferior" gender, it's the system working as intended.
It's also not a worse or more "true" womanhood experience, than being a non-passing trans woman, or a closeted trans girl who's unsafe to come out, or a trans girl who still thinks she's cis, or even a trans girl who grows old into a woman but still thinks she's cis, that we all have to resign miserably into making stupid "Ewphoria" jokes about to appease cis women
We all experience transmisogyny (Which I shouldn't have to say is a form of misogyny), it's just less recognised as misogyny when directed at women being simultaneously called men
Take it from someone who's been passing as a cis woman for years now, passing transfems are treated way better than non-passing transfems or transfems who haven't come out yet, because we're being visually identified as the group of women who have privilege over us! Misogyny without the transphobia is a different flavour of misogyny that we're usually used to (transmisogyny), don't get me wrong, you'd need adjust to it, but it's also a much more bland flavour, it has less ingredients in it
Misogyny without the transphobia is nowhere near as terrifying as transmisogyny, the violence and sexual abuse cis women face is nowhere near as terrifying and pervasive as the violence and sexual abuse we have to suffer beginning from childhood, even if we aren't out, because they DO notice and we DO suffer for it, and even barring dysphoria, it's a million times worse of an experience than passing for a cis woman as a trans woman
And most of all, I just want any newly out transfem reading this to know: You do not have to put the pain and suffering you experience from misogyny without the transphobia on such a high pedestal for cisfems, they don't CARE, they will always inevitably fall back into the belief that you experience less misogyny than them, because they see us as guests to womanhood, most of them probably haven't even HEARD of the word transmisogyny.
It's okay to complain about misogyny without the transphobia and get upset about it and be hurt and traumatised by it and express that, and it's also okay to recognise "Holy shit this is so much less terrifying than being in the closet", and you can just be mad about it while acknowledging that it's actually better than being treated like a transfem
Obviously, I get that passing very early on in your transition can be a new and scary experience, it was for me, and I get that you'd probably get very mixed feelings about being finally truly recognised as your gender while simultaneously experiencing violence for it, but you need to think about how much you're leaning on the ewphoria joke to cope with the fact that it sucks. It sucks that we're treated so awfully before transitioning and the light at the end of the tunnel is this...
dededos
dailybridgerton
janainaart
jacobvanloon
izzy806
kianamaiart
