˙ʇʇnɯ ɐ ɯ,ı 'ɓop ɐ ɯ,ı ʎqɐq
(baby i'm a dog, i'm a mutt.)
Kaiser gets a dog for his girlfriend, but he slowly regrets it.
cw: Jealousy, suicide joke, ness mention, isagi mention, fluff, slightly mean reader, fem!reader, slightly silly. proofreading was a skim over and thats it.
an: i'm ngl I have been slacking a bit due to work. But this was super fun to write and I hope I didn't butcher anything for you. Fun fact, I kinda laughed at this ask because the characters given happened to be the two I don't like (though I do think sae is infinitely worse, like worse than sukuna.) Kaiser is starting to grow on me again though.
Your bedsheets lie cold and flat despite your body feeling so hot. You scroll through your feed. The a/c humming with cold air. Your clock reads 2:40. You turned your phone off and put it on your bedside. The comforter envelops your body. A poor substitution.
It had only been maybe 30 minutes when sleep consumed you. But to you that might as well have been a full night's sleep stolen before your phone's familiar ringtone cut through the silence. The bright and cheerful tune is a clear contrast to the dark and dry air.
You get up groggily, irritated on who’s there to bother you, but your face softens when you look at the name and pick up.
Your boyfriend’s contact photo and name fills your whole screen. Without hesitation you answer and put your face out of frame.
Immediately you hear the shower in the background and the complete difference of it being early morning. Then Ness walked around yelling about some nonsense of Kaiser needing to wake up. God, he really was not something you’d want to hear early in the morning.
“Halt die Klappe, Ness. Viel zu früh…” Kaiser said groggily, before turning to face the camera.
“I’m here Kaiser.” You say, just as tired as him.
“You’re not in frame though..” He says with the click of his tongue.
“Because I look a mess, idiot.” You roll your eyes.
“You should know by now I don’t give a shit about how you look. Just let me see you before I have to deal with more people like the one yelling right now.”
A small “Hey!” is yelped in the back by Ness.
You groan before putting your face in frame. Immediately he gives a satisfied grin.
“There she is. You look amazing.”
You smile slightly before moving on and asking him how his trip has been.
“Amusing. This Yoichi boy keeps trying to make himself a name and kiss up to Noa. He can’t even get past me. Even worse, he can barely manage past Grim. You?”
“Huh. Sounds fun compared to me, it’s the same mundane people and boring job of mine.” You say rubbing your eyes, looking at the clock that ticks more forward to your shift.
“How many times have I told you to quit that shit? It’s so useless, and I make enough money to support us 2 times over.”
“Kaiser if my livelihood depended on you I think i’d kill myself. Besides, I'm actually given something to do with my job and that’s still not enough.” You say.
“Ouch liebling. But was that your way of saying you’re bored without me?” He teases.
“I’ll hang up this phone right now.”
“That wasn’t a no, schatzi.” He grins.
The rest of the call is spent with him talking about his days at blue lock, him going out to the facility to show you where he lives before he had to go because Noel Noa had called them up for some meeting.
You both bid adieu before you go to sleep after the hour and a half long call with your boyfriend.
But despite his arrogance, Kaiser does pay attention to what you say. It's not pure fluff in his ears like you assume.
So when Bastard is offered a week-long break back home, he catches the next flight out back home to Berlin without a second thought spared.
While his driver taxis him back home, he spots something. An animal shelter. It damn near flies by his vision, but he’d basically yelled at his driver to stop. The driver slams on the breaks thinking something happened, with other drivers angrily beeping and honking behind him.
Kaiser gets out. Looking at the worn down building. Already hearing the incessant barking of dogs inside.
He sighs, before making the impulsive decision to walk in.
The lady that greets him has such a joyful and happy demeanor, at least compared to his cold one.
Despite the clear difference, she shows him around the shelter, telling him about the animals they had, what breeds they were, and how old they were. (Hey he even saw a black haired blue eyed cat that reminded him of that freakshow back at bluelock.)
But then his eyes landed on this brown and white puppy. The lady said it was an english bulldog. It immediately yelped when it saw Kaiser, spinning in circles before falling on its butt and panting.
He grimaced. Before sucking in a deep breath.
His driver turns to him, “A dog? I didn’t expect that out of you.”
“It’s not for me.” He says, turning his eyes towards the puppy that now sat in a crate. Still wagging its tail, yet now it stands at attention and looks around. Giving the occasional yap.
He soon rolls up towards the shared house, taking the crate while his driver takes the supplies necessary for the dog.
He walks towards the door, opening it with a click! And walks through. He hears the sound of a game upstairs. Right, today was your day off.
He signals for the driver to put the stuff on the counter. He then takes the carrier upstairs with him. Setting the dog out of the view of the door frame.
He reaches upstairs and sighs before opening your room door, to see you with your hair down and one of his old jerseys draped over you, watching one of his matches on BLTV.
“Aw Liebling, I didn’t know you missed me that much.” He leans against the door frame, his arrogant voice cuts through the air.
Your head snaps to the side towards him, extremely startled. Your panic turns into relief when you see him though. No matter how passive aggressive you are towards him, you still can’t hide your excitement when he comes home from his trips.
You jump out of bed and walk over before wrapping your arms and legs around him. Immediately he grabs you and supports your body with his hands, wrapping them around your lower back. You lean in to kiss him, and it stays like that for about 2 minutes, just you two with no worries.
After a while you lean back while he puts you down.
“I thought you were gone for longer..?” You start.
“I was, but we were offered a break after a couple matches with the other groups in the facility.”
“So how long are you here for?”
“Oh huh..” Your heart sinks a bit, a little sad about the short visit. He gently lifts up your chin, noticing your crestfallen expression.
“I did get you something though.” He whispers.
You immediately perk up at this, expecting flowers or souvenirs, or even snacks from Japan.
So when your egotistical boyfriend, who usually can’t give a shit about others but himself, places a 3 month old puppy in your arms. So tiny, and smelt like baby powder. You can’t help but tear up a little.
“You got me a dog..?” You mutter, your attention completely on it.
“Well, it should help you from feeling so sad when I leave.” He says.
“Shut up, I never feel sad about you.” But your voice lost its spunk, still completely looking at the thing, wagging its tail and nuzzling deeper into your arms.
“Your face when I told you I was only here for a week said otherwise.”
You place the puppy down before giving your boyfriend another kiss, this time more chaste.
“Thank you Kaiser..I love you.” You whisper, before giving him a kiss on his cheek.
That time, it was his turn to scoff, knowing full well he reciprocated.
And it wasn’t long before he had to head back to Japan, but this time your heart didn’t ache as much. The goodbye felt much more different, this time without you tearing up or immediately feeling like a hole had carved in your chest.
The next call that came in late hours of the night, you seemed much more lively. Not the usual monotone and less of the banter that you usually gave him.
You panned the camera over to the dog sleeping peacefully in his part of the bed. That made his eyebrow raise a bit, but he saw how peaceful you looked, and pushed the feeling away.
Then the daily updates of you and the dog started coming up. You going on walks with it, you taking it out after work, the two of you watching a movie, it chewing at his old cleats that sat at the back of you two’s humongous closet, and it even at the beach.
The feeling that creeped up his chest came with each and every photo wasn’t the good he expected from seeing you so happy without him. It brought him insane jealousy and the fact you were so happy without him.
Day 13, It was just mildly annoying, but all he had to do was focus on your face and that feeling would go away.
And then came one of your usual calls after a particularly aggravating match with Isagi, where he was slowly making himself known as “useful.”
Kaiser got on call with you to relieve his frustration, how idiotic the kid is, how he’ll never surpass him so he really should have nothing to worry about. When he hears that same panting in the background.
“Kaiser, I'm sure the boy has nothing on you, besides look who wants to say hi..” You face the camera towards the dog again.
He rolls his eyes, which you choose to ignore.
“Did you even see the match today? He's doing something different. Dieser Idiot gibt nicht auf.”
“There was a match today? I’ve been so busy with the dog and work I must’ve not realized..i’m so sorry Kaiser, I'll try and rewatch it when I get the chance.”
His eye twitches, before giving you a curt goodbye, and abruptly hanging up the phone. He had completely forgotten that he wasn’t as empathetic as most boyfriends to feel joy from you getting your happiness from somewhere else other than him. This reminded him that he was egotistical, selfish, and maybe narcissistic, and it also brought him another realization;
After a month, and being given another break before the final face off between PXG and Bastard, He flies back home, only this time with malicious intentions of returning that damned dog.
He practically barks at his driver to take him home, to which the rest of the car ride is sat in silence.
When the car stops at the familiar house, this time feeling different to the day he brought that crate home, not knowing how much trouble it would cause him.
The house was awfully silent this time, you probably at work. Whatever, he took off his shoes and had begun grabbing a trash bag, taking any dog stuff off the floor and shoving all the toys and leashes in it. Finding the carrier it came in and moving upstairs with the force of an enraged bull.
He looks around the upstairs area, before pushing open the door to your room. Expecting the mutt to be alone and looking stupid, waiting for you. At least that was one thing the two of them shared.
What he didn’t expect was your sleeping frame. Completely knocked out, drool leaking onto your sheets while your hair covered your face partially. Snuggled up against the english bulldog. Stroking its ears absentmindedly in your sleep, the same way you’d do to Kaiser’s hair when he was home.
The dog slept right beside you, completely on its side and its little body rising up and down in sync with your breathing.
And for a while, Kaiser just stared. Looking at how the dark circles from your eyes had vanished, how your body looked so much more relaxed, and even noting that was the first time you’d fully slept like that when he was away.
And he gripped the crate handle as a reminder to himself to do what he came here to do, take this thing completely out of your life and things would return to normal.
But he couldn’t do that. Not to you. Not when you looked so happy and at peace. Not when you cried when he gave this damned thing to you. Because even if it was stealing a bit of you from him, it was still a gift from him to you. One that you loved, cherished and appreciated.
He was selfish, but god he wouldn’t be able to stand the look on your face seeing that thing gone. The way you’d be miserable when he was here, and miserable when he was gone now that he gave you something irreplaceable.
The consequences of his own impulsive actions.
He sighed, before placing the crate down. Going over to the side of your bed, and brushing the hair out of your face. Placing a kiss on your face. "Was du mit mir anstellst..” He whispered. He cursed under his breath, before walking out the room and shutting the door behind him.
Silently, he goes back downstairs and places everything in its proper place, shoving the trash bag into the garbage and when he was done, you had come downstairs to see him home, on the barstool and scrolling on his phone.
And you had the same excitement from before, the same kiss, and the same love he felt, but an even brighter smile.
He was selfish, but unfortunately he knew better to listen to an impulsive decision twice.
