Things no one tells you about rp socializing, *but should*
I know people want to pussy-foot around some of these unspoken things, but I think that’s what causes more miscommunication on this site than anything. I am brutal.
I’m bullet pointing these so there is no confusion. I feel sweetie-pie talk sends mixed signals for all.
Not every one will like you.
My rule of thumb is: If someone blatantly ignores you more than three times…or always…Leave them alone. This isn’t referring to when someone you are good pals with is ignoring your asks because they are backlogged, or not in the mood for the ask, this is referring to someone you hardly know, or don’t know at all, that you’re sending many things to. And if they truly act as if you aren’t there? And not responding to your attempts? Chances are, they want you to leave them be. Please stop yourself, no matter how much you want to interact with their muse. You are humiliating yourself and probably driving them crazy. Some people here are either shy introverts that avoid public confrontation, or, like me—Where you’ve explained it in rules over and over, and have in the past told people: “I’m sorry, but no thanks, nothing personal.” and were met with hate and bitterness. So you just don’t respond at all to avoid that drama again and again.
In fact, ignoring you may not even be about you or your muse, but they are super pressured in real life, and feel high anxiety when they see the same person they do not know (or are extremely casual about talking to) constantly poking them morning, noon, and night. Not everyone is hyper-diper and ready to chit chat at warp speed. Some of us unwind on here after a hectic day surrounded by toxic people at work, school, and home. The need to gradually open drafts, look at our dash, and respond to messages from people we owe at a casual pace is how we feel good. And sometimes? Your muse is everything that they want to avoid in a relaxing atmosphere. I play a Chaos Goddess, not everyone wants their muse to be f’ed in the a’ by a spoiled discordian.
Or, maybe you play with someone they don’t like, and they don’t want to be seen on your blog. It’s not always cruelty. SO. Leave them be. Find people that will respond to you! Put your energy toward that instead of beating a dead horse.
Your opinions are out there forever.
Careful what you say to people if you are not strong enough to take their retort or rebuking of your fandom opinions, character opinions, faceclaim opinions, rp opinions, or general personal opinions you insert onto your roleplaying blog. Some people will be civil and discuss maturely how they disagree, but most people will resort to name calling and stupid commentary, insulting your intelligence and calling you a child. (When they themselves are probably younger than you and have less life experience.)
It’s the law of the jungle everywhere, nothing will change this.
Bare in mind, even if you turn over a new leaf and start to back-pedal your old ways and become a more positive, open, forgiving soul in your fandom, people never forget, so be careful before you start slinging your manure everywhere. No matter how many post deletes and funky URL changes you make, people will remember you. So unless you can take the heat, don’t put it out there.
Don’t assume we’re all coming from the same place.
This is the most important thing, and we’ve all forgotten it!!
No matter our age, background, innocence, or cynicism, we’ve allllllllll forgotten this, and I’ll bet we all think about it for a hot minute, then shrug our shoulders and continue to not care about it. (Myself included)
Not everyone is stable, and not everyone is who they say they are.
Not everyone is stable, and not everyone is who they say they are.
Not everyone is stable, and not everyone is who they say they are.
I’m not talking about the stereotypical “58 year old stalkers trying to get an underage kid to meet them in a park somewhere.”
I’m talking about, different life experiences and other mental issues that could be faked or true, but you will never know the truth for sure, unless you actually know the person you’re talking to in real life. People can lie about all sorts of things, good and bad, and although you don’t want to be a cold, lonely person, understand people fake identities and issues they believe in, on the computer every moment.
IE: I have an ex-uncle (by marriage, not blood) that used to laugh with delight on how he “posed as a lesbian” and went into chat-rooms to mess with the women there…get them to think they met a cool chick, then “bust them” and tell them how stupid they were. Among other…horrible things. He did this with political websites, and spiritual websites too. He’s a grade A sociopath. I am disgusted in everything about this.
The net is worldwide, and yes, the beauty of this is that friends are to be made from everywhere in the world, and they do exist, whereas just 20-some years ago, this was an impossible feat. But that also means unstable sociopaths are out there too.
Don’t post your mental breakdowns publicly, they prey on it. We all get causal with our followers and feel like family over time, and we ALL give in and post about how we are depressed or are struggling with something super personal.
But this is dangerous. Post a call out that you need to talk to someone you trust instead. If no one’s around, type it out in a wordpad, get it off your chest, and delete it, but never POST IT. Face it, not everyone that follows you has good intentions. Some people follow JUST so they can send hate. And if you’re someone that never protects yourself, and you leave anon and submit on 24-7, you’ve just left your front door open at night while you’re laying butt naked in the middle of your living room floor. Come on. Delete and block them, no matter what. NO real friend would send you hate. GET RID OF THEM.
It’s not that serious, slow down.
It’s not that serious if you don’t agree with someone’s rp style, their character, or what they post. In the long run, you should just walk away. What’s offensive today will mean nothing next week, and I guarantee 5 years from now, you won’t even think about it unless in vague memory.
I understand if someone posts a LOT of offensive material that makes you uncomfortable? But just UN-follow or block them. Seriously, people the block function exists for a reason. Blacklist is dodge-y, and if you truly are messed up over someone’s page content, block it. You can always go into settings later if you change your mind about them, to un-block them.
Sometimes we get SO offended by fandom opinions we feel the need to gossip and spread negativity about that person when all they did was disagree with you. Perhaps they rp in a way that annoys you. So what. Move on. Look away. You don’t have to rp with them and you don’t have to care about them either.
If you walk into a movie theater, and sit down among 150 people, do you care about everyone’s opinion for that 2 hour period? No. How about after you leave the theater? Nope? Then that’s how it should be. Treat rp like that.
This is when I get the proverbial:
“But no, you’re wrong! Sometimes you have to argue with them! I hate them, they have to pay, everyone has to know what a horrible person they are, you’re wrong!! you don’t get it!!!! I’m saving my friends from them!!!!!”
No. You don’t get it. This is pretend writing fun time, and none of us are getting paid for it. Your friends can handle themselves, and frankly, who the HELL are you to tell your friends who they can and can’t be friends/rp with? Some people get along excellently with people I do not. It’s the same for all of us.
Things that piss you off today won’t matter one little bit a year from now. And if it does? Please, do yourself a favor and maybe back off and give yourself a time out.
NOW: I’m not talking about plagiarism and people that steal headcanons and writing styles word-for-word. I’m talking about petty rp-”wars” over formatting vs. no formatting, partner sharing, shipping style, those of us that cross-over vs. those that stick to one fandom. People that say one fandom is stupid over another, people that send hate over who you chose to write with or ship with. Whether your blog smuts frequently or not at all. OC vs. Canon. We all don’t eat the same flavors daily, we all have our own tastes, it’s not that serious. It’s irritating as hell when someone differs greatly from you, sure, but it’s not the end of the world. And it’s their funtime as much as yours!
Save your creative energy for your blog and your muses.
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