Dysphoria be like
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@sskylinne
Dysphoria be like
Why do we fall in love? Couples face countless odds such as race, queerness, class and long distance yet still manage to fall head over heels for one another...
Why do we fall in love? Couples face countless odds such as race, queerness, class and long distance yet still manage to fall head over heels for one another. 'Odds Against Us' is an intimate narrative that follows four couples as they navigate the intersectional intricacies of being in love today.
I have a tendency to overthink and analyze love. Being in a long distance relationship leaves even more room for my head to go off on speculations of probability and compatibility.
‘ODDS AGAINST US’ is a short vlog-like documentary that captures my journey towards understanding why we fall in love and why we chose our partners over the odds.
I would love any and all feedback!
queer story time:
these photos were from this summer when my girlfriend visited my hometown, san francisco. we are doing long distance currently because im studying in new york and she’s studying in london.
she is the most refreshing person I’ve ever met.
we are both 19 years old, but i want to just take a minute to forget age or experience and just talk about how i feel about her. she is the most refreshing person ive ever met. she is incredibly thoughtful and has been her whole life. growing up she would write short stories and letters for her family members who lived out of the country. she would draw storybooks and create paintings for her friends. she never misses an opportunity to jump around to music or to steal the show on any stage. she actively takes in the world around her with an ever growing curiosity. she has the biggest heart and cares so deeply about others. she is so genuine when she gets to know people. she is so inviting and open.
she is the type of person that people lean into so effortlessly.
she is incredibly talented. her artwork is a result of years of dedication, discipline, and her own authentic style. she draws, paints, sings, writes songs, composes scores, and shoots videos as well.
our relationship is nourishing.
i feel like we are constantly supporting and growing with one another. im working on producing films, pitching ideas, volunteering, starting a production company, and creating my own passion projects. she is constantly working on her own art and is currently working to self-produce an ep. she is someone who i feel equal to. she motivates me and encourages me just by being her creative driven self. i know that she is following her heart and so am i.
i see our future together.
i’m not sure what will happen in life. no one ever really does. all that I know is that i am in love with her and i feel like we have something special. that we are independent and driven enough in our own lives to have our own productive space yet still squeeze in a video call at the end of the day because we want to hear each other’s laughter and catch up on the days events. we have a few more years until we both graduate from university. i see our future together. i see myself at her graduation and i see her at mine. i have flash forwards to us apartment shopping together. i see trips to japan, portugal, cayman, and england to visit different branches of our families. i can even picture us at film premieres and record release parties, our work finally paying off. i believe in us. i believe in our ability to communicate and continue to grow. we are both young and we aren’t perfect. independence and mental health come first. i just see our future together. yes, we are both only 19 years old but
i know in my heart that we have found something special.
Marriage is such a goal for me. A healthy & loving marriage, with someone who is my best friend.
queer story time:
saying goodbye to our first apartment together. caskie’s dorm room became a second home to me last spring. so many firsts happened in between those walls. our first kiss. our first home cooked meal. our first time. the first i love you. it felt like a time capsule of us and all of our firsts. it hurts to let it go, but it leaves my heart open for many more firsts to come.
queer story time: i met my girlfriend in london this last year while i was abroad. i was a chapstick pansexual with long brown hair and wore strictly high waisted jeans studying philosophy & film. she was a pink short haired british composer studying at a music conservatoire. honestly, i fell in love with her right away. even if at first, we were just friends. which was great. we found ourselves staying up later than our other friends, lost in conversations about art and the future. in a perfect world…projects. aspirations. what if. we were friends for a few months before i had to leave to head back to the states for a bit. we stayed in touch and video called at least once a week, sometimes even multiple times a day. the time change was rough. i was in hawaii and california which put her 12 - 8 hours ahead of me. we made it work. i flirted with her and i thought about her often. she flirted with me and i hoped she was thinking of me as well. i bought my first suit around this time. i found out months later that she saved the photo of me in my first suit to her phone and would look at it quite often. if only i had known that then.. you see, i started wearing more traditionally masculine clothing. it has been a side of me that i have always wanted to explore, but i was far too insecure and afraid. i was worried that this girl, who i was falling for, would stop finding me attractive once i started presenting in a more masculine way. i hesitated. i pulled back. i flew back to london for another semester abroad. within hours of my arrival, we were hunched over my laptop in my room watching movies and filling each other in on what we had missed in each others lives. we found ourselves staying up a bit too late again. it was already 6am. we decided to watch the sunrise. we stared out the window and the room was full with music. she leaned her head on my shoulder and my gay heart began to race. i wanted to tell her how i felt. that her support and warmth made my head spin. that she was all that i wanted. i was afraid. i didn’t want to lose her or mess it up-she leaned into me a bit more. “i like you a bit too much” she whispered.
we have been together for almost 9 months now. currently doing long distance between london and new york. i love this girl. i love her so much. im going to start posting more about her. she has my heart.
i cannot wait to have a wife to watch movies and cuddle up with every single night
i just want to make it clear that i use ‘yall’ cause it’s a gender neutral term, i dont want any of you to think im southern. please don’t think of me like that.