SSPEEPS Saga

Quotes, dice-shaming, and general shenanigans from our group's D&D campaign. Enjoy! And by the way, these are going to be, like, 99% NSFW language and all kinds of fun shit like that. You have been warned.

[sspeepssaga]

DM: It takes the power of its master. It’s a Dragonleaf tree. It would have had the breath weapon of a green dragon!

Ty: I’m kinda sad we missed that, but also–

Mylis: Not sad. Not sad. Not sad. Not sad.

[sspeepssaga]

Mylis: Why can I not assume my husband’s trying to kill me?!

[sspeepssaga]

Ty: Ugh, great…

Cae: This is a terrible idea…

Everyone: *laughs nervously*

Cae: But what other option do we have?!

Ori: Fight!

Ty: Yeah. Die here.

Cae: Why not? Been there, done that.

[sspeepssaga]

DM: “If our accord is followed through, if you should enter my woods, I would see you as friends.”

Mylis: *whispering* Speak friend and enter.

[sspeepssaga]

DM: “I will treat the living creatures with the same respect they had for my master.”

Ty: “May I ask who your master is?”

DM: “You see them.” Make a perception/investigation check for me.

Ty: 24

DM: This looks less like a stone the more you’re looking at it. It looks more… like a skull. It looks like the skull… … of a dragon.

[sspeepssaga]

Ori: “Well… if it comes back to bite us in the ass later,” *voice becomes more cheerful* “we’ll deal with it then!”

Mylis: “Make sure your ass looks good.”

Ori: “Yeah, you know… it’s the squats. Do them every morning.”

[sspeepssaga]

Mylis: I drop the link and set up a new psychic link with Tariq and Ori and I relay EVERYTHING.

DM: Tariq says into your brain, “uhhhh… that’s… wow.”

Mylis: “EEYYUUPP.”

DM: “If we have any period of time, please let me know ahead of time before this is planted. I will leave as soon as possible and I will try to reach out to the sisters.”

Mylis: “We will never do anything without letting you know.”

Ori/Ty: Except for making this whole agreement…

[sspeepssaga]

Azu: Azu will jump in because he’s been on hold music for a while…

[sspeepssaga]

Mylis: I’m deceptively saying–just because I think this is fun–to the group, “I don’t care what treasures they have–”

DM: Roll deception

Mylis: “--but I think we need to figure out how far away from them can we plant their seed. Can their seed survive in a desert? If we plant it, we plant it. Know what I’m saying?”

Ty: What’d you roll for your deception?

Mylis: 26.

Ty: Dammit… … I rolled a 27.

Mylis: You know I DO care about the treasure, BUT I DO want to fuck them over! I AM honest about planting it in the desert.

[sspeepssaga]

Mylis: “There will be a negative effect no matter what. Playing with these guys… planting their seed…”

DM: Men and the damage they do by planting their seed!!

[sspeepssaga]

Mylis: And I pass it along VERBATIM.

Cae: were you actively listening?

Mylis: I was ACTIVELY listening, and I rolled to see if I would spin it to one direction or another. And Mylis is being good.

Cae: I’m sorry, Mylis is being WHAT?

[sspeepssaga]

DM: *drawing out scene on a map*

Ori: THAT’s the rock?! That thing’s HUGE! You said massive, but that is MASSIVE.

DM: I DID say massive.

Ori: Oh my god, look at that rock, it is SOOO huge.

Mylis: I like big rocks and I cannot lie

[sspeepssaga]

Mylis: Mylis and Cae! I’m shipping it right now!

Ori: I mean…

Azu: … Opposites attract, right?

Mylis: We are THE opposites. I love it SO MUCH.

Cae: I LOVE the Paladin/Rogue dynamic SO MUCH, it’s so amazing!

Mylis: We ARE shipping it! … in, like, the most awkward way.

Cae: I mean… Cae and Mylis are so awkward, socially, so… YEAH!

Ori: I love my relationships with a side of threatening each other, too.

[sspeepssaga]

Mylis: I’ll go first.

Ty: Are you suuure…? You wanna go first…?

Azu: Azu’s gonna go ahead and go first.

Cae: I’m right behind Azu. I clap my hand on [Mylis’s] shoulder and just like *gives a meaningful look*

Mylis: Mylis gets a warm sensation on her shoulder. She’s just like, ‘what the fuck…?’

Azu: ‘Ew, people are being nice to me!!’

[sspeepssaga]

DM: Everyone make survival check.

Party: *everyone screams in excitement as 3 people roll nat 20s*

Azu: *rolls an 8*

DM: … I’m so sorry… Do you want me to be nice? Or revel in this?

Everyone: What??

DM: … the check is SIGNIFICANTLY easier right now…

Ori: It STILL makes sense for our characters to be that excited after all that nonsense!

[sspeepssaga]

Ori: We’ve almost solved all the puzzles! You know what that means! Puzzle Party!

Cae: Boss battle.

Ori: … that IS actually probably what it will be…

[sspeepssaga]

Ty: Let’s keep going.

Cae: Vamanos!

Mylis: A la playa!

Cae: Please? Can we go to the beach after this?!

Azu: I dunno, the last time, there were harpies…

Cae: That wasn’t the beach, though. That was the docks. COMPLETELY different.