(previously uglylcve/lostflcwer)

Destined to meet and never meant to be together but still their hearts yearned for each other.

[sstcrlight-blog]

dalbxch‌:

her ‘but’ catches him slightly off-guard and he pauses the movie so that he can turn his full attention to whatever she was about to say, because from the look on her face ( he knew that look all too well ) it looked very important. turning his body towards her, he waits patiently for her to begin explaining, but it takes a few times before she can and honestly the times in between, his heart pounds in his chest because he wasn’t sure what she was trying to say, and for a second there he nearly thought she might break up with him. you can instantly see him relax when she finally spills what she’d been trying to say all along and he leans forward, placing a hand on her leg, his thumb gently moving back and forth. ❝you can never long for me too much, silly. every day that i’m not with you, i’m thinking of you constantly.. how i wish you were with me, even if it’s the simplest of things.❞ her cheeks heating up make him smile– cam always found it super adorable whenever she blushed. she was so innocent, sometimes he wondered how her brother had even let someone like cameron date her. i mean, she blushed over holding hands. how cute was that? ❝i would hold your hand whenever you wanted me to, no matter where we are. i am happy when i’m on stage, but you know what? i’m really happy when i’m with you, too. don’t worry about things like that– i know that’s hard to say, but honestly.. i want to do things freely with you, especially if you also want to. fans have to realize that i’m a human being.❞

to be looked at by the man who chose to love her regardless of her inequity made it difficult for her to breathe. she wasn’t even sure how she was able to when he was beautiful, too beautiful for her eyes to bear and made her think how she ended up with someone like cameron? lucky was what she was and never will she let go. she’d fight for him if she had to, no matter how selfish it may have sound. what he was thinking as she talked was something out of her knowledge it made her nervous at somepoint but she noticed the way his body relaxed after she was through. she wouldn’t lie though, his next move surprised her, eyes dropping at the hand on her leg and focused on his touch; the warm feeling it gave over her skin, the way it gently moved against her skin sent butterflies in her stomach, electricity all over her body. god his touch felt warm and... home. years of being neglected, years of feeling forgotten depleted easily with a single touch of his. she wondered if he knew the power he had over her. his following words dragged her away from her own thoughts she had and she searched his eyes, only to find sincerity in it and felt a slight tug on her heart. that was it. she made up her mind. she wouldn’t hold back any longer. he has been so patient with her since day one, adjusted so much her and the least she could do was to do the same. when she said she longed for him, she meant it and dared herself to show him not only for his presence but also for his touch, his smile, his laugh, his eyes, his warmth... everything about him. there was no way she could stop herself now, no way she could sit still after everything he has said. he was willing to sacrifice for him and so will she. she wanted to be the girl he can boast about, the girl who could give him the world, the girl who could make him happy and next thing she knew she found herself leaning closer to him as if she was getting sucked in by his beautiful eyes, a hand cupped over his cheek and touched his lips with hers. “i love you so much” she whispered. probably the boldest thing she had ever said in her life. “so much that it sometimes it hurts being away.” as if her actions and a few words were enough as an answer.

[sstcrlight-blog]

obciidian‌:

      do not misconstrue his rationale ; elijah is a sapient young man, and that is an understatement.  adroit, winsome, judicious and benign – all qualities which made him adored and worshipped by many, father included. he is romanticized as the most prepossessing and ravishing boy who operates on covet and benevolence, on muliebrity albeit, if insinuating a glance too profound into his orbs it is manifest that there are layers residing deep inside, decanting his psyche with vacillation and clemency. he too, a human being thus, feels appallingly overwhelming trepidation and solicitude.

      this genuine grandeur embellishing his enlivening lineaments is indeed genuine ; the boy evinces the goodness in the world, infringing to succumb into the saturnine perspective whereas the world is gelid and morose, acerb… he yearns not to, implores his heart to never walk down such path of fatalism… and to succor those whos viewpoint is opaque with ire, with acrimony. when he ganders at naeun, granted, her features indicate of wrath that has conglomerated inside of her petite frame for years upon years and he assimilates ( comprehends, even ) that there are unresolved hurdles within of her thorax, heaving like leaden stones. it is mordancing, he can sense that her dolor is subjugating her mind at times. the substantiation he is so intransigent ?  for the way his father passed his love onto him, enabling the boy to grow just like his mother did – loving the world and the people in it. love, is free. love is free and is beautiful – and elijah has all the more than bounteous to distribute.

       a bother.      ❛   and what exactly is the pleasure in being alike everyone ?   ❜      eloquent tone of vox, euphonious. he is beatific, the bubbliest champagne poured into the fine artifact that he manifests within his own ubiety – almost divine. almost. he acquires that her petulance isn’t directed at him per say but rather, towards whichever he represents in her perturbed mind. and there it is – his ubiquitous opulent simper of flower’s guffawing and fairy-dust, of rays of ardent sun after a frigid hibernal. she can be mollified, that much he confides.

      ❛   i would, if that’s truly what you want. but – it seems to me that there’s something on your mind. naeun-ssi, we’re friends – and friends share their concerns with one another.   ❜

friends. what did it mean to be friends anyway? what weight does it hold? how does it work? all she bore was bitterness and discord. yes, she lacked harmony among others. it felt as if she was made to be a villain of this generation, to bring trouble and to destroy every ounce of hope within a person’s soul just like how life burned hers into ashes. it must be erroneous of her to depend on others too much, giving her whole self and have forgotten that she got no one but herself. she needed no one; not her parents, her cousins, grandparents, schoolmates, whoever it is. NO ONE. she made it clear

...or did she? 

because if she did, she wouldn’t be talking to someone she used to admire nor would she be currently talking with the person she thought of annoying at first, elijah. but his sudden question made her stop on her track and look at him like really look at him, contemplating on whether she should answer him in a way she would normally do with the others or would she filter out her words for the sake of not hurting the only person who kept pestering her around despite being pushed away ( again, she appreciated the gesture because who would have thought that someone would be genuine enough to be friends with someone like her? the black sheep ).  ❝ uh... i get to have my peace? ❞ not really. which made his next statement questionable even to her. was it really what she wanted? for him to go away? she wasn’t exactly sure if she didn’t want to see him around either. 

confusing shit. this is why i don’t do feelings, she thought.

❝ friends... right... ❞ her words were slow with a mixture of sarcasm in it. sometimes she just didn’t know how to act around this guy. ❝ tell me your concerns then. tell me one and i might tell one of mine. ❞ not that she cared or anything ( denial ) but she was curious, if he seemed all radiant most of the time, wouldn’t that mean he wasn’t going through complications as difficult as hers? or was he just... putting up facade? she wasn’t sure.  ❝ you wouldn’t mine telling me right? i mean, we’re ‘friends’ after all. ❞

[sstcrlight-blog]

hiatus.

i know i have a lot of replies to work on and they’re all in my drafts, i’m really sorry but i do think that i really need to take a time off from here. this could be just me and my negative mind but i don’t know. lately, it feels like people talk for the sake of replying but i don’t know. sincerity is all i ask. another is that i keep getting followers yeah but whenever i try to reach out or to plot it’s either i get no reply or people getting all enthusiastic at first but shows disinterest later on. like idk what i did wrong but yeah. idk for how long i’ll be on hiatus but i’ll do come back when i feel better

[sstcrlight-blog]

.

[sstcrlight-blog]

ara was not the type to get sullen and would look at things more positively but this? WHAT A JOKE; a big, stupid joke, that was what it was. statements─no, accusations pointed against her friend was nothing but a slander. she knew him well enough that vincent wouldn’t do such barbarous deed and was rather laid back. he has always been nice with her too so this was, without a doubt, impossible and she was not gonna accept it until he, himself, confessed to such misconduct. 

one could tell from the dark circles under her eyes and bad posture that she failed to get some sleep. how can she when there is even a slight chance of her friend being sent to jail? despising the bleak weather and darkened sky, her feet dragged her to the place she least wanted to be, the police station. she walked down the hallway, the air getting heavier at every step whilst her eyes gandered left and right, hopeful to catch him among the sea of people gathered around; reporters eager to interview every suspect and to get something new from the police, netizens peeking, glancing, and whispering (probably to find something good to gossip among their friends).

worry and anger was evident on her face. also, frustration and she was just desperate to find the person she longed to see. ❝ vincent, where are you? ❞ how was he? was he okay? how was he taking all of this stuff? how was he feeling right now? to be accused of something was never a great feeling anyway. she walked and walked, feeling as if it was never gonna end. should she call? probably not the best idea.

❝ just please let him be okay. ❞ she mumbled to herself. //  「  ╰☆╮starter for ⇢ @tmtnosce   」

[sstcrlight-blog]

.

[sstcrlight-blog]

PESTIFEROUS. statements, opinions and decisions made by the lad was utterly bothersome. she scorned him with every fibre of her being. what was it with all this positivity? fucking bullshit that sometimes she wanted to check if he lost it or not. she believed life wasn’t rainbows and butterflies; it was disgustingly unjust, unfair and just plain ugly. how can he stay smiling despite of every unfortunate events happening to him? she hated it BUT appreciated ( well, maybe ) him at the same time ( disdaining to believe it herself ). god, how did she end up being stuck with him in the first place? she was not about making friends; to get attached, to ‘chill’ with others whether be it an acquaintance or a really close friend. no and yet here she was, stuck with someone who was the exact opposite of her. which by the way made this whole scenario more annoying than it already is. 

they differ in so many ways; she was heartless, brutal, cold and avoided by many. elijah? he was a ray of sunshine which was probably loved by people surrounding him. the type everyone would probably love to hang out with. also, her choices of clothes pretty much says a lot. it screamed rebellious and violence and his? she didn’t care and saw it as something out of this world, her opinion though. they were never meant to click or be friends. if they were to be friends, people would only wonder why would someone like him would hang out with someone like her? and to grab attention was the least thing she wanted right now.

❝ you do know that you’re a bother, right? ❞ a pause. ❝ what is it with you anyways? everyone’s avoiding me and yet you’re here pestering around. why can’t you just be like everyone else and fuck off? ❞

all she wanted was to enjoy her break with a cigarette but having him around only made it impossible for her to do so. the last thing she wanted was to be caught smoking in school grounds again. last time she was? boy, it was unpleasant. ❝ i’ve got tons of things to do and i know you do too. so do us both a favor and let me have my peace. ❞ by peace she meant, smoking, yes. ❝ you being around only makes it difficult for me. ❞ leave. leave. leave. it played in her head repeatedly like a broken record. //  「  ╰☆╮starter for ⇢ @obciidian   」

[sstcrlight-blog]

pass the happy! 🌻🌈 when you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications

this is so late like REALLY LATE and i’m sorry but but but i’m here now yes. considering i’ve answered something similar to this, instead of 5 things. imma list 5 people instead or prob less. i hope you dont mind but yeah. calling the attention of these people:

@tmtnosce @obciidian @calicoscat

you all make me happy. that’s three for now. 

[sstcrlight-blog]

pass the happy! 🌻🌈 when you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications

okay this is so late!!! i’m so sorry but yes… okay… um 5 things.

1. books; i’m dead ass in love with books, okay? it makes me go excited. this is why i can’t save bcs i keep buying one.2. writing; honestly being able to express myself through writing is a relief. after all the stress that life gives? writing is just ugh.3. make up; i’m a big fan of make up. don’t even get me started with this one. i love getting creative.4. plants; they’re refreshing af. you dont understand. i got these small pots with cute plants and i just-5. BTS; i love them man. i really do and they make me happy.

that’s five things! <3 thank you.

[sstcrlight-blog]

.

[sstcrlight-blog]

dalbxch·:

he lets out a small chuckle at her expression, but he quickly wipes it away. he didn’t want to seem rude. his head tilts slightly as she mumbled something that he can’t quite hear, but he figures it probably wasn’t meant for him to hear anyway so he doesn’t ask. wow, she’s so different from what he remembered. he gives a small nod and throws his backpack over his shoulder– he didn’t really want to go all the way to his locker to put it up, and they most likely wouldn’t be coming back so he didn’t want to leave it at school overnight anyway. ❝yeah, alright, uh.. sounds good.❞ he did agree that things unplanned were always somehow more fun, he liked going out on a whim, he just was nervous about possibly getting in trouble ( not that he really cared about school ) and somehow not being able to skate. if him and his sister couldn’t skate because of his wrong doing, he would feel horrible. but he shoves all those thoughts into the back of his mind for now– he was overthinking. skipping one day wouldn’t lead him into that much trouble. he follows naeun’s lead, looking around the halls as they walk– he’s curious to how many times she’s actually done this with how sly she seems.

with the amount of hatred she had for school? it was unquestionable if she did this quite often because she did and was now failing her classes. nevertheless, none of it bothered her... even a bit. if it was a way to get back to what her mother did, why not? her family’s a wreck? and so will she. a rebellious, wrecked teenager. she did almost everything; drugs, smoke and drink. everything but her homework. and right now, naeun was about to influence another student. correction: the person she used to like with her vile habits. did she feel bad? probably but this was her way of showing gratitude. she’d save him from this hellish place for a day. was she scolded by this? disciplined but rather harshly. ❝ so... ❞ she began. she had no intention of speaking nor talking to him, she hated it but she hated the feeling of awkwardness more. ❝ why agree to this? ❞ what a way to start a conversation whilst her eyes continued to scan around the area. in her defense, she tried her best though. she tried to make it sound... genuine. if that is even a word for her because for all she knew. no one was genuine because of there was then her mother wouldn’t cheat on her father and ruin their whole family. everyone was nothing but pretentious and liars. good ones. 

[sstcrlight-blog]

「   @dalbxch   ▪   continued   」

amusement plastered all over her features. her eyes averting from the movie to his direction, lips forming into a smile as her head bobbed up and down, nodding at his seemingly confused question (which was something she found cute by the way). he was right though, in every way. what they had; love that grew over time was to be left confidential. no doubt and they did a pretty good job at it. BUT as much as she hated to admit, sometimes emptiness and longing would cripple in and take over her, causing her to feel lonely even if she shouldn’t. she knew his stand and understood. ❝ that’s true. ❞  it also came to a point where she almost failed to subdue her own selfishness and decided to talk about going public. ❝ but... ❞ a pause. who knew that opening up for once would be this difficult? she hated it but she had to. a huge step for a her. besides, honesty is the key to a successful relationship. reference? her friends and brother. ❝ but that doesn’t mean that... ❞ again another pause and this time, there was hesitation in her voice. honesty, honesty, honesty. it played inside her head like a broken record. ❝ that i would... um... stop longing for something more. ❞ and she finally said it. ❝ my thoughts about our relationship still stands but there are days where i just long for you probably more than i should have. i love the idea of us together; walking around while... ❞ unaware of pink shaded cheeks, the female went on and probably had no intention of stopping. this was her chance and who knew when she’d have the courage to tell him about her thoughts again. ❝ h-holding hands, laughing freely on the street, going on dates... but seeing you on stage, with the smile on your face. cameron, you look so happy performing and i don’t want to take that away from you especially now that you just recently came back. you know how the public reacts to idols dating. ❞ she shook her head. ❝ you’re more important than anything in this world to me. ❞ 

silence.

what was next for her to do? she had no idea AT ALL. there was nothing left for her to do but to hope and pray that he would not get mad at her revelation. she was not demanding, just a thought and that was all. 

[sstcrlight-blog]

okay, that’s it for today. i promise to work on replies tomorrow. <3

[sstcrlight-blog]

hello! yes, it’s me, mei. and i can’t believe i i moved blogs only because i forgot my password on my old account(previously lostflcwer/uglylcve). i know i have been inactive for a few months due to some reasons but i want to let you guys know that i’m officially back. i really do apologize for the delay but anyways, christmas and new year’s have passed and i failed to greet each and everyone of you so i’m taking this opportunity to do so. Better late than never, right? so BELATED Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone and I really do hope that you guys had a great holiday. (i srsly suck at this kind of stuff but please bear with me. ;;) also, i’d like this opportunity to send out my gratitude to all my fellow writers or to those who have been a part of my journey last 2018. i’ve met so many great and amazing writers and you guys have helped me a lot with my creativity. #makingthismyfollowforevertoobcswhynot

note: i don’t have much people with me but i seriously want to show how much i appreciate every single one of you. also... plot with me you cowardssss jkjkjkjk

@tmtnosce - seriously words aren’t enough to express how thankful i am for meeting such a kind and sweet bih whom i can freely talk with about anything; whether be it plotting, life, friendship. bih, you are just amazing. you don’t know the affect you have in me. i was once who was so insecure with my writing, thinking i wasn’t good enough but seeing and having you around gave me confidence. so, i owe you that much. if it wasn’t for you then i’ve probably completely gave up on writing. you’re such an inspiration. also, i love your passion towards writing and your muses like girl, listen, i’m so surprised at how organized you are with your muses which something i’ve learned from you too. how can i expect people to write with me when i don’t even have a decent info about them? so, thank you. also, i love how we can just completely throw headcanons and plots between our muses. but know how slow our asses are well... they remained as plots until the day we both decide to you know. i miss writing with you. SLAMS TABLE. Tell me what ya want girl and i’ll give it to you just so we could write again. jeez. but really, i appreciate and love you to the moon and back. this is me trying to keep my message for you reallyyyyyyyyyy SHORT. PLOT WITH ME YOU COWARD. LET’S SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL. Also, bitch i never met someone who is as angsty as you wtf it made me love you even more bcs yo same wink wink. AND PLEASE LETS LIVE AS MEMES FOREVER. #ahappier2019

@obciidian - you’ve been nothing but a sweet and welcoming person to me and i don’t know how i’ll make it up to you but know that i’m here now for good. it’s just this time i really forgot my password kjbgekrgre i don’t know how to thank you for always welcoming me back despite my disappearance for a few times already but really thank you. i appreciate you, i really do. just don’t know how to put it into words. i want to thank you for also being supportive since the day i’ve met you. i really hope that we’ll get to write more and plot more soon between our muses because i do love your writing. <3 also, i really love how you always do your research on things before actually putting your muses into action, it is something very admirable. i can’t wait to write and plot with you again.

@calicoscat - i know we don’t talk that much but i really do appreciate you and i’m INLOVE with your muses. i srsly love to plot with them plus your writing is something i really look forward too. i love how you take your muses seriously too. i really do hope that we’ll be able to write and plot more soon. hoping that we’ll get closer this year as well! <3 LETS PLOT PLOT PLOT.

@dalbxch - i know we’ve talked only a few times but i really love plotting with you and i do hope that we’ll get to plot even more and write it out. idk if you’re okay with multiple threads but yeah(this is me asking permission if i could just straight up write a starter or continue answered asks) but yeah! hoping to plot and write with you more this year! <3

and here are more people i truly admire and would love to plot and write with in the future:

@maginoire @jolieavie @illusionaries @bvckwxld