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art blog(derogatory)

blake kathryn
taylor price
noise dept.

Kiana Khansmith
dirt enthusiast
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Jules of Nature
Acquired Stardust
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Peter Solarz

oozey mess

tannertan36
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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hello vonnie

JBB: An Artblog!

ellievsbear
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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@st-stephano
I think now that queens dead they should have her stuffed and put on display in Cairo for the next 150 years.
BLAZE REJECTED MY POST WOW LOL
We'll make sure at least 100k people see it for free then.
Just so you know, as soon as Halloween is over, I'm kicking off Chanukah season. I don't care if it's almost 2 months away, if Karen in accounting has a tree on her desk I'm going to have a historically accurate model of the Second Temple on mine.
IT CANNOT BE STOPPED
This year one of my close office neighbors has signaled her intention to have an obnoxiously xmas-y desk display.
So, you know. It's going DOWN.
Yeeeeessssssssssss
YOU DIDNT REALLY DO IT!!! MY HERO!!!!!
I do not make idle threats. I am too busy being unstoppable.
@pepperf how could you leave this in the tags my good goyim
Solid medications (pills) really do be coming in two varieties - edible plastic, and smarties (derogatory)
Spoken like a person who truly knows what it is to have Ailments
the whole “i’m an evil monster because i have to kill and eat innocent people to survive :’(” angst in ‘regular human gets turned into supernatural monster’ stories is so stupid. like how is that even a problem??? there are also plenty of corrupt billionaires, abusers and cops out there for you to snack on
everybody’s like “eating the rich is the only ethical consumption under capitalism” until they actually have the opportunity to actually eat the rich 🙄 smh
what we do in the shadows is the only one that Gets It
you guys need to watch santa clarita diet. a woman suddenly only desires human flesh, so in order to fix it, her and her (wonderful, loving) husband find nazis, men’s rights activists and anyone else with immoral values for her to kill violently and then eat
it’s great
Me and "The Fonz" at premiere of Goncharov (1973) at Grauman's Chinese Theatre.
Up Next: Incompetent American Kleptocrat Struggles With The Concept of European Workers Having Rights
As an American, get his ass Europe
I did this with another Weird Al Polka like three years ago and I found an instrumental I could work with for another one so I was like hey why not
Anyway heres this
Now in video form
At 40, Franz Kafka (1883-1924), who never married and had no children, walked through the park in Berlin when he met a girl who was crying because she had lost her favourite doll. She and Kafka searched for the doll unsuccessfully. Kafka told her to meet him there the next day and they would come back to look for her.
The next day, when they had not yet found the doll, Kafka gave the girl a letter "written" by the doll saying "please don't cry. I took a trip to see the world. I will write to you about my adventures."
Thus began a story which continued until the end of Kafka's life.
During their meetings, Kafka read the letters of the doll carefully written with adventures and conversations that the girl found adorable.
Finally, Kafka brought back the doll (he bought one) that had returned. “It doesn't look like my doll at all," said the girl.
Kafka handed her another letter in which the doll wrote: "my travels have changed me." the little girl hugged the new doll and brought her happy home.
A year later Kafka died. Many years later, the now-adult girl found a letter inside the doll. In the tiny letter signed by Kafka it was written:
"Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end, love will return in another way."
you wanna know how fucked up elder scrolls is? i’ll tell you how fucked up elder scrolls is. heres how fucking fucked up elder scrolls is
dwarves are taller than humans
Orcs are elves
A regular house cat can give birth to something that can grow into a 10 ft giant cat man with hopes and aspirations.
lizards grow on fUCKIN TREES
kindrama is a the plot of a dlc
orthodox wood elves are the exact antithesis of vegans
there’s a constellation that just wanders around the sky wherever it wants
The moons are actually corpse of god
if you’re arrogant enough you just stop existing
the sky is an illusion that mortals perceive because of the inherent stress of being alive
There’s a not insignificant chance that the sentient trees responsible for the existence of lizard people are manipulative, self serving assholes
its possible for people to reach such a stage of a enlightenment that they realize they’re in a video game
There are several points in history where time broke to the point where every possible scenario that could have happened did.
dragons’ battles are just academic debates
for them a hot take is literally hot
SO. APPARENTLY. there was an unused character concept from plvpwaa that was like. a guy who stole characters' faces?? or had masks of them at least?? this is sorta terrifying tbh HGKLSHDKLF
you are safe now bud
My cover Nightwing #92!
Baby Boomers had a cinnamon challenge they won’t talk about that may be the reason why toothpick-chewers in classic movies are seen as cool
My mother is 65 and right bang in the middle of the Baby Boomer generation, but she’s very cool and does her best to be and stay woke, keep up with shifts in vernacular, and takes care to do things like make sure she’s strict with getting pronouns correct, etc. Her meme game is a little lagging, and she only just discovered the cinnamon challenge. I was surprised to see her… not surprised. If anything, she seemed a bit pleased and said, “Yep, kids are still kids.”
I stared at her for a while. “What do you mean?” I asked her. She’s seen other ancient memes like planking and never had that reaction before. Seeing the cinnamon challenge was downright satisfying to her.
She looked me dead in the face and said, “Sweetheart, I grew up in a time when you could get crystal meth over the counter at the pharmacy. They were called diet pills then.”
“Whaaaaaaat.” I knew that Nazi Germany passed meth around like candy, but that was in the 30′s and 40′s. I had just figured it had been prohibited already in America by the time my mom was growing up. “Did you have a cinnamon challenge or something in school?” I finally asked.
She half-nodded and half-shrugged and said, “Similar. You couldn’t have candy or gum in school when I was growing up. It was about 1969 in San Francisco and parents were starting to limit cigarette smoking to kids under 18, too, so a lot of my school friends were squirming all day long with nothing to at least chew on.”
“What did they do instead, mom?” I asked suspiciously, because she would not bring this subject up after I had explained to her that the cinnamon challenge was dangerous because of how horrible it is to accidentally inhale it into your airways.
“Well… Back when I was in school, you could get cinnamon extract from the pharmacy. It was just cinnamon suspended in canola oil, and you could use it for cooking or treating a skin fungus. Stuff like that,” she explained. “So the boys at my school would take toothpicks and dip them in the cinnamon extract. That’s why chewing on a toothpick was so common back then. If you were trying to quit smoking or couldn’t have chewing gum, you could carry a little bottle of flavor extract about the size of a bottle of nail polish in your pocket and dip a toothpick in it. Then you’d have something to chew on that the teachers hadn’t banned, and you could hide them in your cheek easily.”
“So what did the boys at your school get into, mother?” I asked again. We were still on the topic of ridiculous memes. This had to go somewhere.
She smirked. “Well, after a while, the boys started noticing that the cinnamon extract from the pharmacy was spicy. It burned. So it started to get to be a challenge to see how many cinnamon toothpicks you could hold in your mouth at once. It got so bad that kids would get blisters and burns on their mouths from it, and you could tell if someone had a few of them tucked in their cheek in class because their face would turn red from the neck up like a cartoon.”
“Why have I never heard about this?”
She wasn’t done. “Finally, the teachers figured out what everyone was doing and it became a pretty big deal. Cinnamon extract started getting banned or restricted to adults. Then they banned toothpicks for sale to anyone under 18, too. That’s why it was a sign of being cool, particularly among guys, to walk around with a toothpick in your mouth. It either meant you had a fake ID or that you were 18.”
I stared at her for a long time. “Mom, why didn’t they just use hot sauce? It was California. Didn’t you have peppers?”
Without missing a beat, my 65-year-old mother replied, “Honey, we were white as fuck.”
I don’t understand how on TV, people can break into homes and immediately find bank statements, passports and super important documents. If someone tried that at my place it would be “I’m sure she keeps her important stuff in her desk. No, wait, this draw is full of pens that don’t work. Aha! This box looks important! Oh, never mind. It’s full of cigarette lighters. She doesn’t even smoke!”
*I* can’t even find my own important documents in my own home half the time. If someone breaks in and instantly finds my stuff they’re hired
Robber, standing in the middle of the room: Now, if I were an anxious, possibly undiagnosed ADHD, bisexual disaster with a really bad memory, where would I put the documents?
Client: OK, this is the target. The back door will be unlocked. The place is a mess, the person there has ADHD off the walls. Find these documents and bring them to me.
Professional Thief: Right. What do I do if they come home and find me there, how you want me to handle that?
Client: Nah, won’t happen. I’m gonna sit at the coffeeshop until you call me, I won’t be home.
Professional: What?
Client: What?
jennette mccurdy should be allowed to hunt nickelodeon past and present execs for sport