NOT PROOF READ, SORRY ITS KINDA ASS I RUSHED IT- HOPEFULLY ITS UNDERSTANDABLE đź’”
Libby stared at her, a blank face hiding the overwhelming amount of emotions going through her head.
“A boyfriend! He’s amazing, I promise! He’s tall, nice hair and the most handsome smile- You should meet him!”
Louise smiled brightly, her hands squeezing the girl’s while so unaware of what the news would destroy she held so close.
“..A boyfriend? Since when? Since when did you- I thought..?”
Libby scoffed, confused, humiliated and angry.
“What the fuck Lou? What happened to- never doing love..? What happened- What changed?-“
Louise flinched at her harsh reaction, raising an eyebrow as she spoke.
“What..?- I thought this would be a good thing. Why are you so mad?-“
“Why? Why?! Are you that arrogant or that fucking stupid?!- Oh my god-.. How did you even meet?-“
“Last night.. During the party.”
“LAST NIGHT?! Oh my- Louise! You barely met that fucker last night and you’re suddenly in love?! You don’t even know him! You don’t even know if he’s a fucking serial killer or something- What is wrong with you?!”
Louise jumped, her heart in her throat as Libby’s words suffocated her.
“What- So what?! Didn’t you talk about love at first sight or some shit?! I know enough about him to know I want to be in a relationship! You’re supposed to be supportive- Why are you being such a bitch?! What happened to my best friend? She would be fucking happy for me!”
“What happened? Hah! Don’t get me fucking started Louise. Oh my god-.. I spent years- every waking hour and this is what I get..? God damnit Lou, do you even know what you’re doing..? This is not a decision you make on impulse. This is going to change your life. You won’t have the freedom you’re used to. You’ll have to do shit you don’t like doing. Are you sure this is what you want..? What you’re ready for?”
Libby eyes watered with tears threatening to fall, quivering lips as her voice failed to stay steady.
“Of course I am. I know what I’m getting into. I’m ready- I’ll be fine. I don’t know why you’re acting like this-“
“I-I don’t know either. Look- It’s your life. Live it how you want- Just please be safe about it. Anything that makes you uncomfortable- nervous, scared, whatever- Please call me. I just.. want you safe.”
“I’ll be fine Libs. Promise.”
Those were famous last words as not even a week later with a bottle in her hand and deafening music destroying her ears, she called. Giggling drunkenly as she leaned against a wall.
“Libbbbyyyyy~ Heyyyy~”
“Jesus Christ.. Hi Lou. Gave me a fucking heart attack.. What’s up?”
“Oh nothing.. Just wanted to see if you could come overrr, i need help cleaning up.”
“Really? That’s what you call me at midnight for? Cleaning? You sound just like my mom.. Fine I’ll be over in ten. Don’t throw up on yourself.”
“Hah!- I won’t, promiseee~ I’ll see you soon”
Libby sighed in relief, putting out her cigarette in the ashtray by her couch before standing up. She pulled a jacket over her shoulders, slipping on shoes as she grabbed her keys and walked out her front door.
Louise on the other hand, waiting impatiently while waddling around in a haze, following bright lights made up in her head and making up arguments with lamps around her house.
Libby didn’t expect anything less than chaos when she walked in, she’s seen it all before. And she means ALL of it. Honestly nothing phases her anymore.
But when she twisted the door handle and pushed the block of wood open, she saw clean floors and somewhat decently placed furniture. Confused, she walked inside gently shutting the door behind her before calling out,
She glanced around, uncomfortable with the unusual surroundings and silence. Well before Louise stumbled into her, her body moving like a rag doll.
“Fuck!- Oh lord Lou.. I thought you died.”
“Hah..? Oh! Hi Libssss.. When did you get here?~”
“Since when did you get shit faced alone..? You must be real fucking depressed.. Where’s ***** ?”
“I’ve been dyinggg to talk to you.. Cmon sit downnn, get comfortable!~”
Libby huffed as Louise pulled her down on the couch, her body leaning dangerously close to hers. The smell of alcohol burning Libby’s nose as Louise smiled lopsidedly, her hands like feathers on Libby’s arms.
“Louise you should go to bed.. You’re gonna have the worst hangover.”
“No no it’s okay.. I’m okay, I like it here.. I’m just fine. You worry too much Libs, just relax hm?~”
Louise hummed, moving her face close to Libby’s, their noses touching as her fingers traveled to her sides.
“Louise-.. Cmon, you really need to-“
“Shhhhhh.. Everything is okay, quit being so fucking anxious. I got better things to fill your mind.”
Louise shushed Libby, a finger sloppily pressed against her lips as she giggled drunkenly. Libby stared at her confused and concerned, silenced by Louise’s drunken state before snapped out of her uneasy state.
Louise stared down at Libby with half lidded eyes, her hands moving under the fabric of her shirt as her breath kissed her skin. Libby shifted away slightly, a conflicted expression on her face as her eyes roamed the lifted burning cheeks of the other girl’s smile.
“Don’t be so nervous.. it’s nothing we haven’t done before.”
Louise hummed, before Libby could protest she pressed her lips on hers. Libby’s eyes widened and sat frozen under her kiss, desperately wishing to return the favor though she knew better than to kiss a taken woman. Libby frantically pushed her away, shaking her head and holding her away as Louise looked at her confused and disappointed.
“What’s wrong..? Did I do something?”
“Louise- you can’t just kiss me like that-.. You have a boyfriend, you can’t do those things with people anymore.”
“So what..?- It’s just a kiss, I’m sure he won’t mind-..”
Libby scoffed and chuckled, fucking unbelievable.
“Louise- Jesus fuck. You’re insane. Do you not understand the rules of a relationship? You’re only supposed to kiss and shit with your partner- That with other people?- That’s cheating. You do- realize that right?”
“I’m not dumb.. But like it’s nothing serious- it’s just yknow.. fun. Why are you being so boring..?”
“You are so stupid- I’m saving your ass Lou. If he found out about this- God I can’t. Please tell me this is the only time you did this.”
Louise huffed, hurt by her words, her accusation as she mumbled,
“I’m not some whore- it was only you.. I don’t- call anyone else.”
“Okay that’s- better than what it could be. Look, we’re going to get you to bed and hopefully you never remember this in the morning. And we will never speak of it again okay?-“
Libby muttered, overwhelmed with panic and guilt as she tried her best to think of how to fix the situation.
“Hopefully nobody sees or I slip up- if I do I’ll have to figure out-“
“One more time- that’s it. I’ll never do this again I swear just please-“
“No Louise- Don’t you fucking get it? You can’t do this shit anymore! Not with anyone but *****! That’s what you agreed to when you got with him. You can’t go back now.”
“But what huh?-.. Why do you want to so badly?- It’s obvious you don’t fucking like me, you have a boyfriend! Why the fuck are you still trying..?”
Those three words. Who knew something so special and beautiful could be so hurtful? Years and years of desperately trying to pull those words out of her mouth, she decides to say it when Libby finally accepted her loss.
“..You? Love? You’re fucking hilarious Lou. You really are drunk huh..?”
Libby laughed, shaking her head blaming the alcohol in Louise’s system for her words.
“I mean it. I love you.”
“I do. And- don’t you love me too?..”
“No- no no. You can’t- I don’t- This has been nothing to me. It’s always been nothing. You- said it yourself. It was nothing. Love- what the fuck is that..?”
“Libby.. You always had my heart. From the moment we met.”
“You’re a fool Louise..”
“Isn’t every person who falls in love? Do you know what you did for me..? You helped me believe I was something worth loving. Something more than a pit stop for people. You treated me like royalty when everyone saw me as dirt.”
“I only did what was right- How anyone should treat a woman. It wasn’t- special.. I couldn’t let it be special.”
Louise’s heart shattered, her eyes watering yet refused to let a drop fall as she mumbled,
“But you- what about all the sweet things you told me..? that you swore you never told anyone?-“
“It was nothing. They were just- words- Like you said everything was. Just- action just- a fun time.”
“But you said it was different! That I was different! Why not now?!”
“You made me see yourself the way everyone else did. Because that’s what you wanted-“
“..That’s not what I wanted.”
Libby scoffed at Louise’s words, it’s never what she wanted. Nothing was ever what she wanted.
“Then why did you hide away every time someone said something huh?! Like you were so ashamed to be with me-“
“I don’t know- I just thought- I didn’t-“
“You never fucking loved me Louise! You knew that I loved you. And you USED THAT!”
“I didn’t do anything!- I just- Why didn’t you leave then?!- If I was hurting you?!”
“Because I loved you Louise! Something you obviously would never understand. I was willing to do anything for you. I wanted to kiss you with something behind it. I wanted our time to be special- sacred something! Anything- I wanted to be your woman. I wanted to be your man. I wanted to be the one you could understand. But you were so stuck on your ways- I knew I couldn’t change you.”
Louise stared at her dumbfounded, refusing to acknowledge her truth in her statement as she huffed and choked out,
“How could you know that..? You never even tried. You just- stared off into space.”
“How would I huh?! You never let me! You always ran away the minute we got too close. God forbid someone saw us in public, you’d pull away and avoid me like I was the fucking plague! It would be like trying to start a fire with matches in the snow. You turned me inside out then you wanted the outside in. You spun me all around then asked me not to spin. You said you wanted to be alone- and have children. You were impossible Lou!”
“I- But I know now! I-I..”
“No you don’t! If you knew you wouldn’t have drowned yourself in alcohol to get the courage to pick up the fucking phone!”
“I love you though!-“
“Stop saying that! You don’t! You love the thought of me. You don’t love me. If you did, you wouldn’t be with him.”
“But-.. can’t I love both?-“
Libby laughed, looking at her waiting for her to say sike or something to tell her she wasn’t that fucking stupid. Libby shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose as she spoke,
“No! You can’t! You can’t have both! If you have feelings for someone else then you don’t love the other person! You want my attention. My care. My affection. But you want his heart, his love, his soul. You want me to fill in the holes he can’t. Like fucking always.”
“I’m not doing this with you. I- I deserve better than this. Find someone else to kiss your ass. Maybe you’ll finally get your shit together.”
“Wait what..?- No- No no! You’re not- leaving leaving right..? We’ll talk it out tomorrow right?- Right?!-“
Louise chuckled nervously, grabbing onto Libby’s hand tightly as she stared at her desperately for something to tell her this wasn’t the end.
“No Louise! No amount of sorry’s or pussy is gonna save this! I’m done. Maybe when you finally grow up we can talk. But till then, figure it out on your own. You’re a grown ass woman right? You don’t need me babysitting you.”
“I-I.. Fine! Fuck you! I don’t- need you anyways! You were right- you were nothing! Nothing to me! Like everyone else!- Just another fucking night! Get the fuck out of my house!-“
“Fuck you too cunt! Better hope that loose fucking pussy of yours can hold your bitch ass relationship! Have a good fucking life Louise! Keep me fucking out of it!”
Libby scoffed, pushing Louise off of her as she grabbed her things, swinging open the front door before slamming it shut. Grumbling curses under her breath as she walked to her car, tears running down her steaming face as a scowl wrinkled her skin.
Louise screamed into a pillow, her angry yells turning into desperate sobs as she wailed into her couch. It was a sick reality check. She realized how fucked up she really was, the curse she was born with a disease she made herself. It was the last she ever saw of Libby, at least at this time.
Now she’s stuck in a relationship she’s not even sure she wants to be in. But with that, she feels obligated to stay.
—————————————————————————————————————
ngl I both love n hate this, wish it had a better ending maybe I’ll change it who knows but I did like using quotes from Dangerously Yours, Masquerade and lyrics from Vampire Empire by Big Thief (great song btw-) I think abt these two a LOT and honestly I feel I didn’t give them justice in this but it’s just an idea of their relationship..
