stuff my mum says

stuff my mum, Stacey, says

[staceynanigans]

Put it in my underwear.

My mother when her hands are full and she wants her smartphone.

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On Friends

Mum:I'm not taking to *insert friend's name*

Me:Why, what happened?

Mum: I might have said that they were stupid. I'm not sure if it was in person or on the telephone.

Me:*shakes head is disbelief.*

[staceynanigans]

My Brother

Bro: you know what I need to charge? Me:Your life? Bro: I was going to say my social life. Me: You can't charge if you don't have credit.

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She gets it from her mom

*le talking about getting fruit as a birthday cake substitute* Me: Fruit? Nan: Fruit? This is no holy heaven place. On my birthday I WANT SIN. SIN YOU HEAR ME SIIIIIINNNNN. I guess I know where my mom gets it.

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Sass knows no bounds

Mum: I read it in a tech magazine. Me: you know they also have other publications. Mum:*Genuinely interested* Oh like what? Me: Sasquach Watch, Yeti Today, Nessie News, UFO Go, and Leprechaun Quarterly. Mum: Go to your room you horrible creature.

[staceynanigans]

Regarding My Brother's Graduation

"Those shorts are fashion."

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Oh my

We were talking about sex toys (don't ask) and she replied how she used to venture to sex toy shops in her Catholic school uniform.

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I didn't finish this orienteering course so I said it was like failing the Girl Scouts but mum chimed in and said that wasn't possible because I was the troop leader's daughter.

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Burns

My mother and I were talking this is actually what transpired: Me:Sounds like you have a complaint that you should take up with HR Mother: You don't realize your HR. Me: You must have me mistaken for someone who cares. Mother: *Silent* Me:*best automated voice* Apply cold water to burned area. What the heck is wrong with me? XD

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Eyesight

My mother on my poor eyesight: “I guess our ancestors didn’t eat their carrots. Well, I guess they couldn’t since they were slaves.”

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Pretty Butterfly

We were talking about butterflies and how they dissolve in the cocoon and my mother keeps on interrupting me by saying pretty butterfly.

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The denial of Stacey

My mum didn't think that I knew the words to Kurt Cobain's Teen Spirit.... She was wrong so wrong. You could say it was 'a denial.'

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Secrets

My mum on occasion will talk in her sleep. This is fine but sometimes she giggles..... and calls her dream companion professor.

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Older/younger?

There's a possibility that I'm a younger sibling as my mum pointed out that she could have cryogenically froze my supposed younger brother then had me.