Whenever fans invent children for Jessie and James, they tend to come up with two.
You've think I've waited 20+ years for Rocketshipping to reach fruition only to have it resolve in a mere brace of offspring?!
This is love that could burn holes in the cosmos! It can't help but create more life than that!
Have you no concern for equal representation of combinations? For all that is righteous, it has to go like this:
• Boy with James's hair and Jessie's eyes.
• Girl with James's hair and Jessie's eyes.
• Boy with James's eyes and Jessie's hair.
• Girl with James's eyes and Jessie's hair.
That makes eight. Eight in eight years thank you.
Being of a generous disposition, I'll let Jessie have the next twelve-month period off, but after that:
• Boy just like Pa James.
• Girl just like Pa James.
• Boy just like Ma James.
• Girl just like Ma James.
• Boy with Pa's hair and Ma's eyes.
• Girl with Pa's hair and Ma's eyes.
• Boy with Pa's eyes and Ma's hair.
• Girl with Pa's eyes and Ma's hair.
Ah, sixteen, that's a nice round number.
Hey, they'll be paying for these kids you know!
Yes, as James's parents the grandchildren would take after them anyway, but specifically, the Ma ones would have her purple and her face, and the Pa sort his blue and the dangly piece of which he is justly proud.
James inherited it but Pa's is a thicker example.
I wish there were more pictures available to offer some variety.
You people make me sick. Jessie ain't some breed mare built to fulfil your fantasies.
She's having the necessary sixteen, but oh no, that's not enough, you've got to to push her to the edge.
1. If Ma Jess wanted to be properly represented genetically she should've stayed and brought her daughter up, rather than fannying about on a suicide mission. Think of Ma and Pa's fine example.
I told yer, Mew lives in the jungle. She only goes up mountains in the skiing season. Even then it's off piste.
2. Jessie looks mostly like Ma Jess anyway so that'll do.
Considering that Jessie and Jessibelle are so similar, and Jessie is the image of her mother, any connection between the girls, should one exist, must come from Ma Jess's side, not any supposed father.
3. There are many folk out there who keep Ma Jess in mind when writing their stories and creating the upcoming generation, for all that she is a borderline mythological character who is canon only in the dub, ironically enough, and probably isn't anymore, until she is again.
If you want the output of those for whom her non-existent existence presses like a ten-ton weight on their conscience, they are all around you, but, who I ask, speaks for Ma and Pa's input? You know, The Best Parents In Pokémon, who stayed together and didn't abandon their son?
Come on, they've only got three fans, and that's including the one Ma holds! Someone's got to champion their half of the bloodline!
If more Ma and Pa followers read this, then show thyself!
4. We don't have a single iota of information on that bastard Pa Jess. The only thing I ever heard, back in the day, was him serving as Pokémon's version of Windy Miller, i.e. quite the alky.
Who's Windy Miller? I've been dying to give myself an an excuse to mention him.
Windy Miller was a main character in Camberwick Green, Trumpton and the other one, the name of which escapes me. These were searing documentaries of bleak rural poverty, slightly backwards customs and one man's eternal struggle with the dæmon drink.
I've now convinced myself that's Pa Jess.
Look at him, swanning about his felt smock, his red bow, his shiny shoes and his Puritan hat: he's a menace to society.
Ah, and who shined those shoes? You can bet it wasn't him.
Windy Miller owned a windmill (shocked, aren't you?) and was always getting him into amusing scrapes thanks to his bibulous ways
It got so bad they had call to the British Army from the the Napoleonic Wars to sort 'im out, as if they haven't got enough problems.
Windy was such a commited imbiber he didn't sup bottles of cider like lightweight teenage hooligans. He knocked back pots of the stuff.
Hardcore brother, hardcore.
The local children therefore learnt the harsh realities of life at an early age. The above picture is probably a fair encapsulation of Jessie's childhood.
You've never seen Pa Jess and Windy Miller side by side, have you?
It's because they're the same person. Where Windy originated we know not, and whither Pa went is a mystery, but no longer.
Thus concludes the history of Pa Jess.
Where was I? Oh yes, apparently when Ma Jess perished, Pa scraped together all the money not pissed up the wall and sent her off to Pokémon Tech., after which he promptly died, of cirrhosis presumably. Or he went home more like.
Despite the clear evidence provided, I'm sure some killjoy will quibble over the details. I suppose we have to humour such people.
Consequently, we can't legally claim to have knowledge of Pa Jess's appearance, barring the brood from inheriting it, meaning only a couple of options are open to us:
• Girl just like Ma Jess.
Alright! That's eighteen kids! Are you happy now?
Ooh, what about overpopulation?
Correction: the world's overpopulated with scum. We need more good 'uns to prevent being outnumbered.
If you're a husband and wife determined to spend eternity together, you might as well have as many babies as possible.
I'm looking at you there, Ma and Pa James!
Compare Brock's lot: ten kids, Pa effed off, Ma died of exhaustion!
If that's what faithless marriages produce, rock-solid unions ought to contribute to the nation's wellbeing by bringing up decent children.
She is ethereally beautiful.
I can forgive a lot from a pretty face.
I've never seen this picture elsewhere, so if you use it, I will know it's from me.
Take it! Spread it across the internet! But I claim to be the originator.
As for Rumishippers (I know you're about, I've seen the art) I'm sure they also approve of these dynastic plans, as long as a slight tweak in the mother's name is allowed.
The fecundity will be as forthcoming, for we may conclude that Jessibelle is one to never utter the passion-thwarting line to James:
'Not tonight dear, I've got an headache.'
Not many men can say that whatever girl they choose to marry, the children will be same.
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