Our Love is a Tempest
Pairing: Junmyeon X OC(female)
Genre: Junmyeon God AU; Soulmate AU; angst; fluff; one shot; junmyeon-centric?
Summary: Junmyeon was the God of the Sea, in charge of water, the god of storms and earthquakes. He was prone to anger, like the rest of his creed, and he could be cruel too, but Junmyeon was also a Guardian, who protected his brothers, who knew love towards his family. He also knew guilt, and maybe it was a mortal who would teach him forgiveness and moving on. Fate could be cruel, he knew that, but he would also learn that fate could be kind.
Warning: Mentions of death/drowning (OC is a mortician/undertaker)
A/N: This is inspired in part by Shakespeare's Sonnet 116. In the same universe as HONEY (EXO Yixing) and Flower (SVT Wonwoo). It had been a while, but I’m back! :) Let me know if you want a part 2
Word Count: 13.8k
Aeons had passed since Junmyeon and his ten brothers came into being. Their predecessors were ancient Gods, jealous, violent and unforgiving. On Earth, they had been named the Titans by the ancient Greeks, and that was as close to the truth as they got. Yixing never revealed the full truth of their reign and their demise to his poets and his oracles. As the God of Oracles and the Arts he was tasked with keeping Junmyeon and the rest a mystery so that the full extent of their powers remained unknown. They never wanted to be worshipped, not the way the Titans had been, with blood and violence and fear in the hearts of mortals. Gods were often cruel, but they were not evil. Humans had named him Poseidon, Neptune, Morskoi, Aegir. All false names, ones they could comprehend and understand. His brothers hailed him Suho, The Guardian, one who watched over them and protected them. He was the strongest God among the eleven, but the mortals didn’t know that, and they would never find out.
It had been centuries since Junmyeon stepped onto Earth or muddled personally in human affairs, and he wished his brothers would follow suit. Fate, it seemed, had different plans for them. Gods needed love, the Fates had told him as they tied knots into the golden thread of life that belonged to Jongdae, the God of Thunder. His brother, although smaller in stature than some of the others, was quick to anger like the rest of them. Gods took time to learn, and it was time that Jongdae learned what love was.
Junmyeon remembered coming from the Sea to Olympus, to find the sky black and loud, thunder rumbled and lightning flashed above him. He could feel Jongdae’s fury, one that was unrivalled by any other God. He felt the same fury in his heart. How dare the Fates choose for them, how dare they tie their life lines as if they were mortal?
The three Fates had called them to Olympus as witnesses.
“Gods take time to learn.” The youngest of the three had spoken, looking directly into Junmyeon’s dark eyes, filled with fury, deep like the oceans over which he resided.
“Learn to love.” The middle Fate spoke, her gentle motherly hand grasped Jongdae’s. In slow motion, Junmyeon watched his brother fall to his knees, the King of the Sky reduced to a kneeling terrified man. Junmyeon would never forget the look in Jongdae’s eyes, the terror that fell over him and silenced the sky and quietened the rage was etched into his memory forever.
“Your time has started.” The oldest crone had croaked out, her hands pulling the knot tight, so that it would never be undone.
That was how their fate was sealed, starting with their most volatile brother.
Now, hundreds of years later, he was handing a golden ring, almost the same he had given Jongdae, to Yixing. His brothers watched, surprise filled their gazes as Yixing curled his hand around the little golden band, forged down below in the depths of the Sea. Yixing had learned too. Warmth had replaced rage, and the sun shone a little brighter over Olympus. None of his brothers could tell, but Junmyeon felt lighter, as if a weight lifted off his shoulders, as if he could breathe a little more air. His brother was happy, and Junmyeon could never fault him for that.
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Olympus was a fortress built of white marble, a castle hidden from mortal eyes within the clouds, often shrouded in storms. Above it the vastness of the universe spread into infinities as an intricate dance of light and colour, a composition more beautiful than anything on earth, incomprehensible even to the Gods that called Olympus their home.
Baekhyun and Jongdae stood on top of the fortress walls, gazing at the sky as it turned dark with nightfall. Although Jongdae saw nothing but the sky, he waited patiently for his brother. Baekhyun was entranced, unable to keep his eyes away from whatever scenario he was currently witnessing in his mind. The God of Love often stood gazing at nothing, his presence far away from his form, looking down at the fates of mortals, overseeing falling in love as was his duty.
“Who do you see?” Jongdae asked, leaning against the white marble edge as his eyes scanned the sky, watching as moonlight broke through the thick blankets of clouds that surrounded them. His fingers played with his wedding ring, the one that Junmyeon gave to him when he received their blessing and married his wife.
“Junmyeon.” Baekhyun’s voice was a whisper, but it was loud enough for Jongdae to hear and the name had sent a chill up his spine. He recognised that feeling as fear. His hands ceased their motions and he turned to look at the God of Love.
“What?” Jongdae’s eyes were filled with fear, the same fear that Junmyeon had witnessed in his own centuries ago, when the Fates had made them all watch as they tied knots in the golden string of his fate.
“Junmyeon will learn.” Baekhyun spoke, his voice sure now, steady. His gaze had locked with his brother’s and when their dark eyes met, thunder began raging on Olympus, the same kind that raged during the first Tying.
“He will love a mortal? Give up his rage?” The God of Thunder and Lightning had seemed unconvinced by the latter. He knew Junmyeon would love. No one could deny fate, not even them, but the image of his elder, the one who ruled over them and protected them, giving up his rage and letting go of the storm was absurd. Junmyeon didn’t know how to do that.
“The sea rages regardless, so does the sky.” Baekhyun responded, pointing an accusing finger at Jongdae, and then at the clouds around them when another flash of lightning passed right by his nose.
“Will he love her?” Jongdae looked over at his brother, his fingers still twirling the golden band on his ring finger.
“I doubt the Fates have seen anything akin to this.” Baekhyun answered. He had a familiar twinkle in his eyes. The God of Love was fortunate to witness the greatest love stories as they happened and the displeasure of watching the greatest tragedies too. This twinkle, not quite jovial, and not quite the shine of unshed tears, was simply content. There was a light at the end of this story, and that gave Jongdae enough assurance to put trust in his elder.
“What is she like?” Jongdae prodded.
“She is a mortician.” Baekhyun spoke, playing with the hem of his sleeve.
“She’s like Zitao then?” Jongdae tried to joke, his voice surprisingly light-hearted compared to the look in his chocolate eyes. Baekhyun laughed weakly, the sound hollow in his chest. Zitao was the God of the Underworld, the one in charge of death. He was tall, imposing, but also often the most understanding and merciful. He saw more death than all his other brothers and that made him gentler than some. Baekhyun knew Zitao was reasonable and kind, and he hoped the woman his brother would love would also be accepting.
“Water is a deceitful thing, it gives life, it shapes the earth,” Jongdae sighed, looking out into the dark clouds, feeling the electricity in the air, but before he could finish his thought Baekhyun cut in. His sombre eyes gazed into his brothers as his lips formed into a thin line and lightning flashed behind him.
“It drowns its victims.”
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Down below the water, deep within the Sea, Junmyeon ruled as King, as one of three brothers who ruled their own realms. His Sea was not the same as mortal oceans. It was an ancient realm between Olympus and the Underworld, deep and unforgiving, where everything answered to him. His realm existed just as he existed; as an in-between; a mediator. In a bubble of air at the very centre of this ancient depths, Junmyeon had built his palace, and in the deep trenches of the sea, he placed his forge. Marble halls filled with green plants, both those that grew on land and those that filled the floors of the endless ocean. Thanks to Junmyeon’s powers the kelps, seagrass and waterwheels that decorated the halls moved as if submerged in water. They danced along to the currents outside. The God of the Sea had a peaceful home, and an empty one too. Children had not graced these halls since the early days of Jongdae’s marriage centuries ago, and all his workers busied about not really paying him much attention. Everyone had their own life. Junmyeon liked it that way. This was also why he was currently pacing the main hall, stormy eyes mimicking sea currents as they gazed pointedly at the Fates that decided to visit him.
“Your time has come.” The youngest one said, twirling his golden thread between her fingers. She looked him right in the eyes, but her youthful amusement did not match his expression. He was angry, ready to create floods, ready to drown.
“My time will never come.” He had said, his eyes not meeting the three women. Although his voice carried anger, he was afraid that the ancient beings would be able to see beyond the rage. The idea that they could see his bitterness and somewhere even deeper than that, his longing, was a frightening thought.
“You cannot deny Fate. You cannot deceive us.” The oldest spoke, her croaky voice bouncing off his ears unpleasantly as it raised the hairs at the back of his neck.
“She will be miserable without you.” The middle one spoke, her voice calm and gentle, it would have reminded Junmyeon of a mother if he had one. Her voice was soothing, like a balm over a wound. Maybe, if she had continued speaking Junmyeon would have lost his will, maybe he would allow his walls and reservations come crashing down. He did not. His wounds were too deep and his walls built too high. There was no gate in them either. No Trojan horse could break him from the inside.
“Not for long.” His curt reply was icy like the blue waters of antarctica, and as he spat out his response, he could see the currents of the sea pick up ferocity in the way his plants swayed and rippled. Mortal lives were short. Even if Junmyeon never stepped foot on earth, her misery would not last long.
“You will forget how to live without her.” The youngest Fate chastised, pointing an accusatory finger with her free hand.
“You will forget how to love without her.” She added when Junmyeon did not move.
“Even your brothers.” She spoke, and although that shook him a little, Junmyeon was the Leader of the Gods, a King among them, he would not break the façade of calm fury he had assumed.
“You are already starting to.” The oldest Fate accused, her eyes falling on to the Guardian, but even her gaze could not break him.
He clenched his jaw and put his hands behind his back. Out of the scrutiny of the Fates, he let his hands shake a little, their faint trembling was a chip in his honour, a sign that they were right, that he was breaking. More than that, it was a sign that Junmyeon, the Guardian of the Gods, was breakable. Heavens forbid anyone, mortal or otherwise, found out.
“I am not.” He continued, staring right at the oldest Fate, his eyes black like a storm.
“You cannot deceive us.” She spoke and the middle Fate twisted the golden thread in her fingers and with that small movement, she sent Junmyeon to his knees.
He clutched at his heart, eyes falling shut as the pain in his heart spread through his ribcage. The knot that twined around his heart pulled, twisting the muscle, bending it out of shape. Behind his closed eyelids, Junmyeon watched his life, the empty halls of his palace, the fear and dejection in Jongdae’s eyes when he didn’t approve of his wife, the same look that graced Yixing’s face as it appeared before him. He knew his brothers had held their breath when he gave Yixing his wedding ring, he didn’t think it bothered him that much. Until now. Slowly, by denying their fate and their happiness, he was being unfair. His shortcoming and his burdens were not theirs to bare. His guilt was his alone.
They had stopped their frequent visits, reduced them to merely a few times a year. He knew Baekhyun was giving him the cold shoulder since he refused to bend to Fate, refused to accept it, and inadvertently refused his brothers greatest gift, the gift of Love. He was hurting them, just as he was hurting himself, and now, as his life twisted in the Fate’s fingertips, he was painfully aware of that. Even that though, no matter how hard it was to know, could not erase the image of tsunamis devouring the land, nor make him forget of sinking ships and the screams of those drowning under the force of the waves.
Once the pain subsided and he could open his eyes, Junmyeon saw the wrinkled face of the oldest Fate staring down at him, her eyes dark like the death she spun into their threads.
“As Gods can be cruel, so can we.” She spoke and for a brief moment the sea fell silent, all tides ceased their courses, and Junmyeon could hear the echoes of his own heart as it beat against the confines of his ribs.
“So I’ve been learning.” He grunted, rising onto his feet on wobbling legs, trying to dust off his dark blue suit.
“Where do I go?” He asked, his voice hoarse in his throat. He licked his lips in an attempt to moisten them, but to no avail as the cracks burned from his saliva.
“Forward. Your legs know where to find her, it is your destiny.” The middle Fate spoke, but just as before, it was not enough to calm his nerves. Before he could compose himself properly they were gone.
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Jongdae had kept repeating one phrase over the last few centuries.
“You cannot fight Fate.” He would always say, mostly as he looked out into the sky around Olympus while twirling the unbreakable golden band on his ring finger. He said it to his wife on their wedding day, he told his children that when he was putting them to bed. Jongdae whispered those words to Junmyeon when he was stubborn. Now, Junmyeon was muttering them to himself in anger as he cut flowers and put them in the right buckets of the flower shop he was working at. Pretending to be mortal was not a favourite past time of his and although he was grateful that Kyungsoo provided him with a human life and a job, he would rather not have ever set foot here. He did his job flawlessly, out of respect for the nature that Kyungsoo was the God of, and out of respect for Baekhyun, to whom he promised to try and find love. His usually mischievous brother ended up crying into his shoulder as he gave Junmyeon his blessings, but he didn’t mind. A few drops of water would never harm him, but they did make this decision easier.
The bell at the door chimed, rousing Junmyeon from his task. He peaked out from behind the stand, his eyes landing on a mortal woman. She wore a black dress with sheer back tights, black heels and her hair in a tight bun at the back of her head. A single silver hairpin gleamed in her hair in the shape of a water lily. Her eyes, blue and deep like ocean depths fell onto Junmyeon. She gave him a small smile, trying to be polite as she walked through the shop and to where he was standing, currently tending to a bucket of white chrysanthemums.
“How may I help?” Junmyeon asked, putting the pair of scissors he was holding away onto the counter behind him. His heart, which had been still during the last few centuries, was currently beating faster than it had ever beaten before, his blood, red and hot, pumped through his arteries with a force he could feel beneath his skin.
“Hello, I’m here to collect an order for Haven Family Funeral Home.” Her voice was even, unwavering. She gazed straight into his eyes, her deep blue a match for his deep brown, both filled with the force of a storm.
“The wreaths, and the white lilies?” He asked, remembering that there was only one delivery today, and that it was for a local funeral home. Kyungsoo had told him to be respectful to their workers as the community respected them.
“Yes.” The woman nodded, and Junmyeon’s breath caught in his throat, the oxygen not reaching his lungs as they burned for air. Even Gods had to breathe, but she was making it extremely hard for him right now. She smelled like fresh linen and dust, a strange mixture, but one he could understand. Zitao smelled of dust too, there was something about being in a place that meant endings that made it feel stagnant, as if no one and no thing wanted to move, because moving on was hard. No one wanted to do the hard things, no one wanted to say goodbye, but fate and life didn’t care what one wanted. Death came for all and Fate was inescapable.
“I’ll be right back.” He said, before disappearing at the back of the shop. There, once he was away from the eyes of the mortal woman, he fell. Onto his knees, onto the wooden floor, a God reduced to a man in pain. His heart banged against his ribs like an animal in a cage way too small for its size. It wanted to grow, extend beyond Junmyeon’s understanding. The muscle that stayed silent for millennia was now breaking free and his mind was reeling. It was on that very floor, somewhere on Earth, surrounded by gardening equipment, that the King of the Sea, the God of Water started the hardest lesson of his life.
After a moment, reluctantly, Junmyeon picked himself off the floor, dusting his black suit trousers, to pick up the wreaths and lilies the woman was waiting for. When he came out from the back room, Junmyeon was pale as a sheet, but his cheeks coloured a vibrant red as his heart continued its pounding.
“I’ll take them to your car.” He told her, trying to be nice, trying to make a good first impression. It took him only one look to know you were the one he was destined for. The golden thread of his life had twisted around his heart, locking it in place, forcing warmth to bloom in the cold cavity of his chest.
“Thank you,” She replied, looking into his eyes before they fell down onto the nametag attached to his shirt. “Junmyeon.”
The way her tongue twisted around the syllables and the way the sound resonated through him made his heart skip a beat and he wondered, when Baekhyun named his cherubs, did they too, feel such warmth when their names fell from his lips?
He walked behind her as she led him to her car and opened the boot for him. Once he placed the green wreaths and while lilies into the car, laying them flat so that they wouldn’t get squashed during the ride, he straightened and his eyes caught the black mark on the mortal’s wrist. The black ink spelled out the Chinese character for water, shui. His symbol, unbeknownst to her, stained her skin out of her own will. Fates apparently did have a sense of humour, or maybe they truly picked out the perfect person for him. Junmyeon shook his head, reminding himself she wasn’t his. She was mortal, she would live here and die here, and Junmyeon could not bring himself to take her away. Mortals had lives here, people they loved, people that loved them. They had pets and plants and dreams, and none of them involved him. They shouldn’t. He didn’t want to take her away from a life, her life, one she seemed content with, even if it was just on the surface. Junmyeon wasn’t that cruel.
“Shui?” He asked, the word falling from his lips, familiar like the back of his hand, like the very essence of his being.
“It means water.” She said, for lack of better response. They were both aware he knew the meaning but allowed her to say it anyway.
“I know.” He nodded, his eyes now scanning her face, subtly falling onto the curves of her lips, red like the blood pumping in her arteries. Red like the blood that was made up of water, water that called to him, that knew him.
“May I ask why?” He asked, no longer trying to keep his distance. Curiosity killed the cat, or so the tale went and Junmyeon was not impervious to its allure. Curiosity was what got him here, along with Baekhyun’s tears that soaked his shirt.
“Water is the beginning of life, the very possibility of living. It’s a good thing.” The woman answered, her hand rubbing along the strokes of the character, the black ink made more vivid under her fingertips.
“Is it?” Junmyeon asked. Was water truly this wonderful, worthy of tattooing the word onto your skin? Was it truly this life-giving, when it could also take it away, when it could destroy? Junmyeon was well acquainted with its darker side, familiar with the rage boiling under his skin.
“Living?” She asked, her incredulous eyes boring into his. A kind smile stretched her lips gently, without quite reaching her eyes.
He nodded, his eyes falling onto the pavement. He didn’t want her to see the storm that raged in his irises, the brown mixing with black, crashing against each other like waves. His inner turmoil was not meant for mortal eyes.
“I think so.” She replied, and although she never reached out and touched him, he felt comforted. The mortals didn’t hate him, because they didn’t know of him, didn’t know he was the one responsible for sinking ships and raging hurricanes.
“Are you a regular?” He asked. He promised Baekhyun he would try his best, and Junmyeon kept his promises.
“I am.”
“See you soon then.” He smiled, and she smiled back, her hands holding onto her car keys, reminding him he couldn’t keep her waiting.
“Same time next week.” She told him, swaying on the balls of her feet.
“I’m Evangeline by the way.” She introduced herself, sticking a hand out for him to shake. Kyungsoo had told him it was a greeting, so he extended his own hand, clasping her small one in his larger one, allowing her to shake it twice, a smile decorated her lips. This time it reached her eyes, and he though they were like still water, reflecting the storm in his.
“I’m Junmyeon, but you already know that.” He smiled, his own smile was weak, but Junmyeon had meant it, and he hoped she would understand. Her hand was warm in his, making his heart skip a beat in its attempt to escape his ribs to be closer to her. He watched her leave and once she did, Junmyeon could not help the rain that fell onto his cheeks like hot tears. As she left, the God of Water began his first lesson in love; falling.
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Exactly a week had passed. Seven days, Junmyeon had waited for the mortal woman to return to the florist, where Kyungsoo had given him a mortal life, all so that he could appease the Fates, all so that he wouldn’t break the promises he made to Baekhyun. All seven days were wasted on looking after the flowers. He cut the stems to equal lengths and he changed the water in the buckets. Junmyeon wondered what the mortal woman was doing. Evangeline was a mortician. He looked at death the same way Zitao did. Every day, he faced what all his other brothers were reluctant to. Every day Zitao did the gruelling work of judging souls, bringing peace to the suffering, easing the pains of the sick and hungry, bringing those whose strings had been cut into his realm, giving their souls a new home. Zitao did it all without complaint, did it all because he was kind, because he understood death, was familiar with endings. He wondered whether Evangeline was like that too. Was she kind? Did she know death like the back of her hand, looking it in the eyes day after day, unfaltering, with the same kind eyes she offered Junmyeon when they met? He knew she was strong. Not even Gods could look at death and carry on living.
Seven days Suho, the King of Sea, waited for a mortal woman who lived with death, and finally on the seventh day, just as he cut the last of the roses to equal length, the bell at the door chimed and she entered, clad in all black with her hair in a tight bun with a silver water lily pin keeping it together. This time, black leather gloves adorned her hands hiding the tattoo of water away from Junmyeon’s prying eyes. She had given him the same small smile as before, but her eyes shone like precious stones in the shop lights, tiredness danced in them like gentle currents. Junmyeon smiled back, his smile brighter than before, as he left all he was doing and grabbed the order of white lilies from behind the counter.
“More white lilies.” He informed her, watching as Evangeline walked over to where he was standing. Today, she was wearing a black coat over a white button up with a slim black tie. It was evident she had acted as a funeral attendant today. Her shoulders slumped lightly, and Junmyeon could see she was tired.
“Thank you.” She responded, giving him a small smile as she took the flowers from him. Her fingers brushed against his, sending a shock of electrifying warmth up his arm. The hair on her arms rose, her heart beating a little faster at their proximity. It was no secret Junmyeon was handsome, but more than that, Junmyeon seemed serious, and she had never thought that was a bad trait. Serious often went hand in hand with honest, and she wanted honesty above all else. Real love could not be built on lies.
“Would you like to get coffee later?” He asked, trying his best to be brave, trying to keep his promises.
“Sure.” Evangeline answered, her eyes gazing into his, “I finish at five.”
“So do I. I know a good coffee place.” He smiled.
“I’ll take your word for it.” She answered, the lilies in her hands were a stark contrast against her dark clothes as she held them closer to her chest, trying to keep her heart steady.
“See you later, Evangeline.” His voice was barely above a whisper, and despite the sudden chill that travelled up her spine, she could hear the fear in his voice, see the uncertainty brewing like a storm in his eyes as they darkened.
“Goodbye Junmyeon.” She whispered, unafraid. She had no reason to be.
He watched her retreating figure leave the store, and once she was out of his sight, Junmyeon slumped against the counter, his hand clutching his chest, where his heart resided.
As soon as the door closed, as soon as she was out of his sight, Junmyeon ran. He ran to the back of the shop, straight into Kyungsoo’s office, where he was currently playing with the leaves of a spider plant. When he noticed his brother at the door, he stopped, motioning for Junmyeon to sit. Suho’s wide eyes brewed with a storm, his shoulders rolling like a hurricane across land. With wild eyes, the Guardian of the Gods asked for his help, turning to the God of Harvest and the Earth for guidance. Junmyeon had always considered Kyungsoo as reasonable, someone who could provide solutions.
“So you are going for coffee?” His brother asked, his large owl-like eyes gazed at him gleaming with mirth.
“Is that bad?” Junmyeon asked. He had never been on a mortal date. At least not a modern one. All of his brothers had once taken human lovers, ones they lusted over, ones they toyed with. Never ones they loved. Love was not a feeling they felt towards humanity, love was reserved for the bonds of family and loyalty between them. That was all.
“No, that’s actually very good.” Kyungsoo spoke, his hands fiddling again with the green narrow leaves of the spider plant.
“How do you know?” Junmyeon narrowed his eyes at his younger brother.
“Baekhyun’s little messengers come to me too often.” He sighed, eyes distant as he thought about all the times Baekhyun’s love messengers forced their way into his office, trying to appease him with cups of herbal tea.
“They like you because you don’t tease them.” Junmyeon patted him on his back, fully aware that the younger gods teased them endlessly.
“Never mind that. Think about what you should do after this coffee.” Kyungsoo straightened up, his plush lips now set in a straight line, his bright eyes darkened into a serious expression.
“Like what?”
“Like a real mortal date.” Kyungsoo clarified, looking pointedly at his elder.
“I’m not a mortal.” Junmyeon’s eyes darkened, the hurricane in them picked up ferocity.
“You don’t want another date?” Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow, disbelief painting his usually stoic features.
“I don’t want to muddle in mortal lives.” Now, with the Fates muddling into the affairs of gods and mortals, love was something else, something more. Junmyeon did not appreciate the Fates trying to make him mellow, he had given up enough rage, he had taken on responsibilities that made his shoulders bow with their weight. Why could it not be carefree Chanyeol who caused fires, or Baekhyun who had dreamed of it since the birth of humanity? Why could it not be Kyungsoo, with his big eyes and earth-stained fingers, who had spent more time among mortals than the rest of them? Why did it have to Suho?
“As Gods can be cruel, so can we.” He recalled the Fates’ words, remembered the chill that went up his spine, the ghost of which was now crawling the ladder of his vertebrae so it could settle against his skull, ring like a bell in his ears.
“Our pasts are long gone, mortals don’t believe in them anymore. Or in us.” Kyungsoo’s wistful voice rumbled in baritone through the room, and Junmyeon could have sworn that his brother made the room shake.
“It’s time Junmyeon.” He spoke, his voice deep like the earth and warm as his eyes looked at his brother. His hand went to hold Junmyeon’s, and that gesture, bold in comparison to the gentle affection Kyungsoo usually preferred, was reassuring. Maybe that was what a mother’s embrace felt like, Junmyeon wondered. He allowed himself the liberty to squeeze back. Finally, Junmyeon had found the rock upon which his waves could crash, and he was glad it had been Kyungsoo who caught him, who was steady so that he could break.
“What should I do?” He asked, and Kyungsoo didn’t waste many words, for it was not his nature. His answer was short, but it was enough.
“Fall.”
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The coffee shop in front of which they met looked more like a greenhouse than a place serving food. Green areca palms were tall, spreading their thin leaves wide. Ficus plants stood like little trees beside the expensive brown leather couches in front of low dark wood tables. Small potted plants stood on windowsills and on plant stands in white ceramic pots. It was a pretty shop, one that Evangeline could see herself sitting in for hours.
Junmyeon smiled at the woman sitting in front of him. He could feel the strings around his heart pull and tug, trying to force him closer in an attempt to break the distance between them. The tugging was futile, as Junmyeon decided to keep his distance, watching as Evangeline’s red painted lips pressed against the white cup filled with espresso. Her black blouse was untied, the silk ribbons that would have been a bow before, now hung loosely exposing her collarbones and the expanse of her neck.
“This is a nice coffee shop.” She spoke, looking around at the plants surrounding their table.
“I didn’t lie.” Junmyeon smiled, his storm filled eyes never left her face, and his heart calmed when she caught his eyes. If he was filled with a storm, she was the opposite. Like calm waters, her eyes washed over him, surveying his relaxed form, watching as his fingers tapped ancient rhythms into his thigh.
“You didn’t.” She admitted. Her smile was bright, her eyes did not weaver from his as she held his gaze.
Junmyeon had ordered himself a cappuccino. He knew about coffee thanks to his brother’s Minseok’s love for the human beverage. It only took Minseok one trip to Venice, sometime in the 17th century, before he was in love and Jongdae’s wife once told Junmyeon that Minseok looked at a cup of coffee the same way Jongdae looked at her. Junmyeon wondered if the Fates would pair Minseok with the heir of Lavazza.
“How long have you worked at the funeral home?” He asked, wanting to know more about the mortal. If Fate wanted this, who was he to fight? If Fate dictated his, could Junmyeon truly resist? Jongdae and Yixing couldn’t escape, and he had a feeling neither could he.
“I’ve worked as an embalmer for three years now. I spent a year at the crematory.” She took a sip out of her cup.
“All for the same funeral home?” Junmyeon was intrigued. He had tried to avoid death, spent the last three thousand years as far away as possible. He kept his rage simmering, or at least tried to. Gods were volatile, and when they burst mortals suffered.
“Yeah. I like my co-workers and their values.” Evangeline nodded, eyes staring at him as he relaxed into the couch.
“Have you been a florist for a long time?” She asked in return, and Junmyeon had to remember that this was an exchange, ironically a one-sided exchange. Every word that came out of his mouth was a half-truth, a white lie to not give away much about himself.
He felt his heart constrict and the air leave his lungs, the familiar discomfort of guilt crawled its way languidly out of his stomach where he had buried it.
“A fair bit. I stopped counting how long.” He answered. Looking nonchalant and confident, he smiled at the woman in front of him. His arm rested on the plush leather armrest whilst his other hand played with the white ceramic of his coffee cup.
“Well, you must either love it or hate it then.” Evangeline laughed. Junmyeon had looked so serious, his eyes lost somewhere far away. She reasoned that if she had loved doing something, she would stop counting too. In the case that she hated every day of work, no longer counting would have been a reprieve. How could you continue living a life you hated if you knew how long you still have left? She didn’t want to even consider such a life. Evangeline was fortunate.
“How so?” Junmyeon asked, focusing on her, watching as she leaned closer towards the table, closer towards him. Among the warm tones of roasted coffee he could smell jasmine flowers, sweet and fragrant as they hung in the air. He wanted to continue breathing it in, wondering what he smelled like to mortals.
“You don’t strike me as someone old enough to stop counting years spent in industry.” Evangeline smiled, allowing Junmyeon to catch her eyes. He held her in his stare. The dark in his eyes was endless, and she felt herself tip over the edge of this unknown abyss.
“Why not?” Junmyeon’s voice was low and she felt the low rumble course through her.
“I believe I have lived long enough for numbers to be arbitrary.” He tilted his head, not breaking eye contact. He found he like the way she looked at him, her eyes swimming with questions and her lips trying to curl around unspoken words as she contemplated which ones should be voiced.
“How old are you?”
“How old do I look?” He smiled. Junmyeon could not guess how old he looked to mortals. Many things had changed since he came down to Earth. Civilisations rose and fell, people changed too, they changed clothes, the way they cut their hair, the way they spoke. Everything was different.
“You look about my age.” Evangeline answered, her eyes falling onto Junmyeon’s face. His strong brows and serious eyes told her he was mature, but his gentle features and golden skin didn’t show the effects of time on his complexion. She thought he was handsome, but she would not date to say it out loud.
“I’m thirty-one.” Junmyeon lied, his stomach twisting uncomfortably. He and Kyungsoo worked out a suitable mortal age for him before he came down to Earth, something old enough to allow for maturity and young enough to not attract scrutiny.
“I’m twenty-eight.” Evangeline answered, and Junmyeon could hardly comprehend how young she was compared to him. She was so young, she had seen so little compared to his brothers.
Twenty-eight years was a spec of dust in the lives of the Gods. He had lived four thousand years and half of that he spent living in chaos.
“I think I would like to know you better.” He told her sincerely. It was one of the only whole truths that passed his lips this evening and it felt good not lying to her.
“I like that too.”
Hours later, when it was time to finally part, they had looked once more in each other’s eyes, his a dark raging tempest; hers a brewing storm. Slowly, as if not to frighten him, Evangeline approached his towering figure, and pressed her lips into Junmyeon’s. The kiss was warm, and Junmyeon stood there as if carved out of marble, unmoving. Before he could react, reciprocate the small gesture, Evangeline had pulled away. Her bright red lips curved into a little smile and she waved him goodbye before disappearing into the crowd of mortals mingling about the street. Junmyeon watched her go, like a splash of black ink rolling through clear water until it diffused into nothing.
As Evangeline walked, she could not help but breathe deeply, not able to get the smell of sea breeze out of her nose, like the seaside after a storm. She turned her head to look back, catching Junmyeon’s eyes for one more second. Her blood rushed through her ears, imitating the sound of waves crashing against the shore.
-----------
Days passed in pleasant monotone. The new routine Junmyeon had built was broken only by occasional messages from Evangeline. The moment Junmyeon set foot on Earth Kyungsoo handed him a mobile phone and told him to figure it out. It had taken three of Baekhyun’s love messengers and a storm rolling towards the country and crushing against the southern shore for Junmyeon to learn to call and text. He still had no idea about what the Cherubs, as Baekhyun had decided to affectionately call them, referred to as Internet and he was not keen on learning either. Kyungsoo had mentioned that he does not use it either and since then Junmyeon refused help with it.
Evangeline soon learnt that Junmyeon was a lot more confident answering calls than texting. He had even taken the initiative to ask her on a date. He never mentioned where they were going, so just in case she had eaten before she left. They met in city centre, just outside the main government administrative building.
“What are we doing today?” She asked, looking up at the man as he led her through the streets.
“We are going to an Aquarium.” He answered and Evangeline could not help but feel relief at the idea.
“Right.” She nodded, falling in step with him as he lead the way to the large modern structure across the bridge.
“Do you like marine animals?” Evangeline asked, wondering why he would suggest such a unorthodox place. She was not complaining though, she had not been to the aquarium since she was little. It would be nice to visit it again.
“I love all marine life.” Junmyeon smiled, looking over at her. His eyes held a warmth in them that she hadn’t seen before. The serious, heavy atmosphere that usually surrounded Junmyeon and all of their conversations was gone. Evangeline could have sworn the man was practically gliding across the pavement, his legs light and his spirits lifted.
Once they had made it inside, Junmyeon had taken the liberty to hold her hand. Sometime after purchasing tickets he managed to slip his fingers through hers, intertwining their hands. His large hand was warm and comforting against her palm. A part of Junmyeon wanted to break all the glass here and let these fish and marine mammals and other creatures, all equally dear to him, all necessary, back to where they belonged. He knew it was unfeasible. Humans had an aptitude for destroying things, one that could rival the Gods, one that did affect the reals which they ruled. Humans had destroyed the habitats these living creatures belonged in, or they were in the process of destroying them. Humans knew like no other creature on Earth how to lay waste to ruin. They were masters of the craft. Some cared. Some looked at these creatures and felt the same rage simmer in their blood as him, some did all they could to preserve these creatures. Some of these humans even worked here. Junmyeon wanted to burst at the seams with rage, but the small hand clutching onto his was an anchor. It kept him in place, it reminded him why he didn’t meddle despite his desires, even the righteous ones.
Evangeline watched him from the corner of her eyes. When she saw another deep breath find a home in Junmyeon’s lungs she let her thumb caress the back of his hand, rubbing soothing circles over the smooth skin. Her eyes fell onto the brightly coloured fish in their tanks and she watched with awe as they swam between the vegetation.
“What is this?” She asked, pointing at the yellow fish, coloured like sunflower petals.
“Who.” Junmyeon corrected her, forgetting for a moment that he was pretending to be mortal. He had become comfortable by her side, Evangeline still rubbed circles at the back of his hand and each one was sending currents of electricity through his nerves, casing his blood to rush faster through his veins.
“That’s a Yellow Tang.” He pointed at the same small yellow fish she had.
“That’s a butterfly fish.” He pointed at another one as it swam to the front. It had stayed in front of Evangeline and Junmyeon had to remember to blink as he peered at the little fellow. She’s mine. He scrunched up his nose and the Yellow Tang swam away to hide behind some growing seaweed. There were benefits to being the God of the Sea and one of them was stopping marine life from ogling your girlfriend. What a life he was living.
“And this one is a Gobie.” He pointed at another fish as it swam towards them, passing Junmyeon to once more stay in Evangeline’s line of sight. Junmyeon shook his head in disbelief.
“That’s a clown fish, and the other one is Royal Blue Tang.” They passed onto another tank now and Junmyeon’s heart skipped a beat when Evangeline jumped excitedly as she peered into the green vegetation. From between the greenery swaying lightly in the currents generated by the water filter peeked a few little orange fish, their white stripes lined with black. Three deep blue fish, slightly bigger than them swam in front of the glass, waving their yellow fins and swaying their yellow tails.
“It’s Nemo and Dory.” Evangeline pointed at the Clown fish and then at the Royal Blue Tang. Junmyeon watched her, not understanding what she meant.
“Who?” He asked, eyebrows raised and wondering how she could possibly know their names.
“Have you never seen Finding Nemo?” She had looked at him with wide eyes, not believing what she heard. Junmyeon was tuck like a deer in the headlines. This was one these mortal things he didn’t understand and doubted he ever would.
“Finding who?” He repeated, still as confused as before. Evangeline straightened up, looking him in the eyes she smiled.
“I know what we are doing next.” She announced, before moving to the next tank.
Two hours passed in complete comfort as Junmyeon wondered the aquarium, Evangeline’s hand leaving his only in the small giftshop at the end of their trip. She had went and bought something small when he wasn’t looking, before taking his hand again.
“I got this for you.” She opened the little gift envelope, before taking out something small and shiny.
“Thank you.” Junmyeon took it from her. It seemed so small between his fingers. A small enamel badge gleamed in his hand, it was a little Royal Blue Tang.
“May I?” Evangeline asked, taking the little pin from between his fingers. Her fingers brushed against his and a current shot through their fingers, making their hearts beat faster. The golden thread keeping his heart prisoner tightened around the muscle, reminding him of the fate that bound them together.
“Of course.” He managed to tell her, his eyes creasing into half moons as he smiled, his cheeks rounding. She smiled back, fingers threading through his navy suit jacket to attach the little fish to the collar. Evangeline smoothed out the non-existent creases with her hands. Before she could retreat them, Junmyeon caught one of her hands in his, threading his fingers through hers. Joined this way, the continued walking.
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The few days between their meetings had given Junmyeon time to resume his duties as a god. He allowed the tides to bash against the shores with new strength, waves beating against sand and rock and land, carving out new shapes and paths in their wake, creating and destroying all at once. Suho spun the typhoons and derechos away from the sea and towards the land, letting rain and sea water carve into the islands and continents. Nature had to run its course, whether people liked it or not, whether Junmyeon wanted it or not. Balance was essential. Balance was their friend and foe and duty. Junmyeon relished in the sound of waves crashing against the shore, he breathed in the fresh air, filled with storms and violence. His deep eyes, matching the dark waters crashing into land, scanned the horizon, his hair was tussled by the winds as he took in the force of his power, finally feeling what mortals knew since the beginning of their creed.
Electrifying, that was the way she would have described him had she been present. Magnetic and terrifying would also work if Evangeline could look into his eyes right now. Their softness was gone, replaced with something hard and serious. Duty or power, or maybe both, had made him harsh again, and it was this harshness, like a typhoon, that welcomed her when she visited the flower shop.
"Is everything alright?" The words flew out of her mouth faster than she could think, and her hands had reached for him out of their own volition, gentle in the way they cradled his cheek.
"I suppose so." Junmyeon spoke, his voice thunderous and cacophonous like crashing tides. He let his arms fall around Evangeline's waist, firm and sure in their hold. Junmyeon was meant to be the secure brother, the one sure of his standing, the one whose decisions are always executed, his words final. He had made his decision among the crashing hurricanes. Love was a force equal to his own, and he would not fight it. Evangeline was kind and mortal, but she would endure his love. She had seen death and continued living, continued being kind. That was more than Junmyeon could say for himself. He would give up his rage. He would transform it.
"You look different." She whispered, eyes falling from his hardened eyes to pursed lips.
"How so?" He looked down, feeling his true form peak through the mortal disguise.
"Like you're angry." She whispered again. It was quieter than before, more unsure.
"I'm not angry." He told her, turning his head enough to lay a kiss on her open palm as it still pressed against his cheek. The smooth skin was warm against him, comforting.
"Let me buy you dinner." He offered. Evangeline nodded her head, her perfectly red lips stretching into a smile. Junmyeon thought she would make a beautiful bride, dressed in white instead of black, holding flowers meant for the living. Reluctantly, he gave her white lilies and watched her walk out of the shop. Duty called, and Junmyeon understood very well what it meant to answer it. Love was a duty too, he thought, and Junmyeon was no longer afraid.
Later in the week they ended up in Evangeline’s home, curled up on the sofa as Finding Nemo played from her tv.
“These fish talk?” Junmyeon asked, eyeing the screen as the two clownfish, a dad and his son, argued about swimming.
“It’s an animation.” Evangeline laughed, watching as Junmyeon refused to take his eyes off the screen, gaze trailing behind the bright orange little fish as Nemo made his way to school for the first time.
“They are not real?” Junmyeon sounded incredulous. She wondered if he was one of those weird types whose parents never allowed cartoons.
“Are humans really that evil? Why do they take these creatures from their homes?” Junmyeon had cuddled up to her as the film progressed, angry at the way humans had separated the family. He had always known humans were cruel like that, but watching it on screen as it unfolded, knowing that the mortals knew what they were doing, was unbearable.
“Humans tend to take the things they think are pretty for themselves.” Evangeline answered him, her fingers running through Junmyeon's dark hair. His head had fallen into her lap and she enjoyed the comfort they have settled into.
“I can’t say I don’t understand, but I think by now they should know better.” He spoke, and she nodded along.
“We should.”
The film passed in silence. Junmyeon ended up too invested in it to speak, and when Nemo and his dad finally reunited, Evangeline could feel something wet soak through her pyjama bottoms.
“He finally found him.” Junmyeon whispered. She could see him wipe away a stray tear from his eyes with his sleeve.
“Do you want a hug?” She asked, stopping the gentle movement of her fingers through his hair to allow him to sit up.
“Yes.” He said, but instead of falling into being the small spoon he cradled her in his arms trailing kisses through her hair. She let him, closing her eyes when his hands came to rub soothing circles over her back.
"There is also Finding Dory." She whispered, eyes twinkling in amusement as Junmyeon stilled.
"Maybe next time." His voice came out a little hoarse, and she laughed lightly, turning to press a kiss against his lips.
-----------
Mortified. The mortal word felt adequate in describing how Junmyeon was feeling right now. Baekhyun and some of his little love messengers sat at his table at the coffee shop down the street from Kyungsoo's shop. Sipping on his coffee, Baekhyun kept giving him mischievous smiles as he winked at him over the rim of his cup. The love messengers laughed at his predicament, finding his powerlessness amusing.
“You cried watching a children animation?” Baekhyun asked when Junmyeon finished telling his story.
“It was about fish! What could I have done?” The God of Sea tried defending himself. The wellbeing of those who live in the sea was always a touchy subject for him. It was no wonder then, why he had allowed his emotions to show.
“You could have tried to look cool.” One of the love messengers supplemented as he drank his coffee.
“I think it is good he cried.” Another one chimed in. Honestly, Junmyeon didn't know their names that well. A new one was born when Baekhyun felt like it, and Baekhyun expressed his feelings more than any other brother of his did.
“He seems more human that way.” Baekhyun nodded along, his eyes surveying Junmyeon as he allowed some of his godly power to seep through. Rage lit in his eyes. Baekhyun could swear he saw a hurricane swirl in his irises and could hear waves crash when he spoke again.
"I'm not human."
“She’ll like you more now.” Baekhyun chastised. It wasn't like him to scold Junmyeon like that, but sometimes his brothers needed reminders. Love was a gift. A gift from him, and he took his gift giving very seriously.
“She’d like him anyway, its destiny.” Kyungsoo's voice rang out behind them, and the messengers scrambled off their couch to offer space to the Earth God.
“You should kiss her next time.” He said when he sat down, his brown eyes soft but his expression was firm.
“Yeah, snog her.” Baekhyun cheered, sitting up straighter in his chair.
“Feel some eros for her, show her some eros.” The god of love raised his eyebrows at him, sending a cheeky wink Suho's way.
“I thought I should be feeling a different type of love.” He spoke, raising his cup to his lips, allowing the hot bitter liquid to slide down his throat. He preferred godly nectar, but down on Earth coffee was sufficient.
“Don’t lecture me about love.” Baekhyun spoke, and the ground beneath them shook with the force of his power. Junmyeon's heart skipped a beat as he was reminded just how much power his brother possessed, even over them- those both angry and immortal.
-----------
Evangeline was kind. He knew that early on. Evangeline was brave and she endured, he knew that too. Evangeline was only mortal, fragile and flawed and empathetic. She was vulnerable. He was witnessing this first hand now.
He found her weeping on the kitchen floor. She had called him twenty minutes prior asking him to come see her. Junmyeon heard the break in her voice and wasted no time. She was still wearing her black coat, her loafers were still on her feet. She had decided to curl into a ball beside the kitchen cabinets.
With slow, deliberate steps, Junmyeon walked across the kitchen, he sunk to his knees beside her and waited.
"Thank you." She whispered when Evangeline looked up. Junmyeon's breath caught in his throat before he moved to sit beside her on the tiled floor. Evangeline rested her head on his shoulder. He took the opportunity to intertwine their fingers, placing her hand in his lap. With slow, deliberate movements he turned his head, and placed a gentle kiss in her hairline, allowing her to burrow into the crook of his neck. Her tears begun to flow again, warm and wet against his skin as they seeped through his shirt. He didn't mind. Water was his domain, water was him; and yet his heart broke that it flowed from her eyes, rendered her small and broken.
"Do you want to tell me what is wrong?" Suho asked, his voice small as he held Evangeline in his arms.
"They drowned." The words came out as a whisper. For a moment, Suho's heart stopped. He knew by now that some days this job was harder than others. He knew that there were days when Evangeline broke down at the smallest thing; completely overwhelmed. This would pass, she knew this too.
"In the sea?" He asked, afraid of looking down at her. He felt her nod. They lived in a seaside town. It was not unusual this time of year, it didn't make it any less tragic.
Guilt ate at him. He had stayed far away from humans for so long, commanded the seas and waters of the Earth from far away. He made his rule impersonal. Now, with her in his arms he was faced once more with the consequences of his powers. Old ghosts came out to haunt him, blame him for tragedies long forgotten. It ate away at him, dulling the hurricanes in his soul, slowing the waves in their path. Was this what the Fates wanted? Was it his turn to confront his ghosts? Fate is cruel, he thought. Fate is cruel, he breathed, and placed a tender kiss in Evangeline's hair, smoothing down the strands with his hand, letting her warm up in his embrace. Like a gentle summer stream, Junmyeon flowed, enveloping her in safety, tenderly.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered.
"I'm so, so sorry." He looked into her eyes, glossy with tears, as his blurred with the images of old ghosts. For a moment he remembered every ship that sunk in his rage, every lover who took their last breath in the murky waters of his kingdom, every echo of prayers sent his way to bring those lost back to shore prayed too late.
"It's not your fault." Evangeline rose from his shoulder, cradling his face in her hands. Junmyeon grabbed onto them like a lifeline, like an anchor he was afraid would rise too fast.
"It is." His tone was serious, darker. Godliness shone through him, waves crashed in his irises.
"I am the god of Water, King of Seas."
"Poseidon." He punctuated every letter.
"Neptune."
"Aegir." his voice was not loud, but it crashed through the space between them like waves against cliff faces. Forceful and final.
"Call me by any name, I have created them all." He whispered, almost ashamed.
"I am water." He spoke. Not once did he waver. He did not smile, his eyes didn't twinkle. His brows set over his features unmoving, his lips were like stone, features unmoving.
"And water drowns its victims." His eyes darkened, and he could no longer hold her hand.
Evangeline pulled away, her head shaking lightly as she searched Junmyeon's eyes for any hint of jest. She couldn't find any.
"No, Junmyeon." Breath caught in her throat and her voice cracked when she said his name.
"I'm sorry." He reached his hand out towards the kitchen sink above them, and with a flick of his wrist the water flowed from the pipes. With another twist of his hand it flew through the air, a thousand droplets filled the air, suspended and still. Light passed through them like through a chandelier. The room filled with golden rays. In any other circumstance Evangeline would have thought the sight to be magical, beautiful. Now she found it horrid, frightening.
The man she loved wasn't a man at all. He was something else, something unknown.
"Get out." The words punctured the air. Junmyeon forgot how to breathe.
"Get out." Evangeline repeated, pushing him away. The sudden touch caught him off guard. He lost all concentration. Thousand droplets fell around them, crashing against tiles and furniture as rain does against pavements.
Soaked, Evangeline shook, her whole body trembling as she made her way to her feet.
Slowly, Junmyeon rose from his seat on the floor. Not wanting to cause her further distress, he avoided her eyes as he walked out of the apartment. The only sound that carried through the air were his shoes against the wet floor.
Once he was in the corridor, out from Evangeline's line of sight, he heard a muffled crash. Silence. Then the sobs.
He took a deep breath, tears clouded his vision, and for the first time in over a thousand years, the God of Water, King of Seas, let himself cry.
With one last step he collapsed outside of his underwater halls, right by the throne surrounded by channels of sea water and crashing waves. Power had carried him to the safely of his home.
"We told you, Raging Tide." The Fates echoed through the Halls.
"To love is to hurt." Their voice rung out, thunderous and eternal as Junmyeon knelt at their feet.
-----------
A day passed by. Then another. Junmyeon had gained a new companion in that time. Fear was a new friend, or maybe a fiend as it stole his sleep and took his will.
He remembered what the Fates had predicted the first time they came to his Halls under the Oceans.
"You will forget how to live without her."
Their words seemed truer now than ever.
Junmyeon's thoughts were broken when his name rung out, bright and clear through the air.
"Suho!" His brother paced through the hall towards him.
"Baekhyun." He greeted, allowing the God of Love to hold him at arms length as he spoke. Baekhyun's usual light smile and twinkling eyes were replaced with worry. His coat was soaked by the roaring tides that crashed through Junmyeon's palace every once in a while. He must have gone down the wrong corridor when he went searching for him.
"Go to her." Baekhyun wasted no time in getting to the point. Junmyeon had promised his brother that he would not reject his greatest gift, but right now, more than ever Junmyeon wanted nothing to do with Love, nor with Fate.
"She does not want me to come." He spoke plainly, placing his hands behind his back as he tried to turn away.
"If you don't go now, you will truly lose her." Baekhyun admonished, making Junmyeon face him properly and look into his eyes.
"I made a mistake." The God of Water spoke. Behind him, Baekhyun could hear another wave crash through the marble halls.
"Then apologise." It was simple, a mortal solution that could remedy everything. Even to gods such as them it was hard. Apologise were difficult, no matter how many aeons one lived.
"There are no words adequate for her." Junmyeon turned his eyes way from the scrutiny of his brother. How could he apoligise? What words should he use. All languages of the Earth, alive or dead, did not have the vocabulary to describe his deep sorrow, to put his guilt into something tangible and explainable.
"You can't know until you try." Baekhyun pressed further, his hands no longer resting on his brother's shoulders. He gripped Junmyeon by the elbow, preventing him from moving away, from fleeing.
"Love hurts." Junmyeon muttered, allowing a new darkness to settle over him.
"Love heals too." Baekhyun spoke, sure of the fact that if his brother tried, he could find the right words. Happiness was so close, Baekhyun could taste it on the tip of his tongue. All Junmyeon needed to do was reach out.
"Go." He nudged Junmyeon one more time. A moment passed, and then Junmyeon's hard eyes settled on his. Junmyeon nodded, wordless and encompassing.
In a blink of an eye, he was gone and Baekhyun gripped empty air where he once stood.
-----------
Evangeline had spent the last two night crying, trying to dry her kitchen and her tears. Still, she found spots of dampness that reminded her that Junmyeon was a god. Junmyeon whom she loved, who she sought out in the night, who slept beside her and who smiled at her over bouquets of white lilies as if they were not meant for funerals.
She stood at the sink, watching water drip from the tap, remembering the way Junmyeon moved, the way he commanded it, the way it fell like torrential rain around them. She hung her head, trying not to think about him. Maybe if she forgot him she could live on. Maybe she could pretend he never existed in the first place.
A knock on the kitchen door startled her out of her thoughts. Evangeline turned, afraid that someone had gotten in without her permission.
Instead of a stranger, her eyes landed on a stoic man, his brows dark and heavy over his eyes. For the first time she noticed the way Junmyeon's eyes swirled like hurricanes. Despite the distance between them, she could see the crashing of tides over his face.
"I'm sorry." He spoke first. She stood still, afraid that if she moves away he will disappear like an apparition and if she moves closer she will never be able to let go.
"It wasn't the right time to unleash this on you." He continued, his voice deep and heavy as it crashed against her.
"You were having a hard time and it was unfair of me."
"Unfair of you?" She finally spoke. Despite her broken tone her words rang out clearly. For a moment Junmyeon looked away.
"I allowed my own guilt to take precedence." He clarified. Slowly, like he did that night, he walked towards her, giving her time to move away or to stop him. Evangeline did neither. her hands crossed over in front of her, but she didn't stop him.
"I am the one who controls tides and currents. I should take blame for when people die in my domain." Junmyeon spoke. He had been responsible for a long time, guilt ridden and detached all at the same time. People blamed him whether he was at fault or not, and he didn't doubt Evangeline would too. She knew the truth of what he was now.
"Just because you control water does not mean everything that happens in it is your fault." Her voice was quiet, but she looked into his eyes regardless.
"Did you know they drowned?" She asked after a moment.
"No." Junmyeon told the truth. He could control the tides, he could crash waves and aid migrations and lost ships but Junmyeon was not omniscient.
"Then how can you blame yourself?" It was so simple. So mortal. He didn't know it happened, he didn't cause it. So why would he feel guilty?
Slowly, as if not to scare him, Evangeline reached out, her palm cradled his face, stroking gently along his cheek bone. Her touch was warm, reassuring.
Something slipped off of Junmyeon, the hurricanes in his eyes changed into the glistening waters of calm cerulean seas.
He placed his hand over hers, before lowering his face to hers. Gently, slowly, they closed the gap between them. His lips were warm against hers, moving in careful, practised tandem as they drew the breath from her lungs, filling her with something hotter. Junmyeon's hands traversed the planes of her back, firm and solid against her. He pulled her closer, until no space between them remained. Evangeline's hands found their way around his waist. Their lips parted ways only for a moment.
"I love you." Junmyeon whispered against the skin of her cheek, before finding his way to her lips again. He didn't need an answer. The flutters of her heart against his were enough.
-----------
Since Evangeline found out Junmyeon was the God of Water, Junmyeon had become more keen in taking her out by the sea. Today he had taken her to the cliffs. They had strolled the lush green hills, covered in wild grass and purple flowers that somehow resisted the sea breeze and the salt in the air. They had walked hand in hand along the rocky beaches, watching waves crash and break against the shore. Now, they stood shoeless on a rock jutting out into the sea, a part of the low side of the cliff face as it joined the sea.
She truly had not meant to do that. In fact, she had wanted to do anything but that. She wasn’t much of a swimmer, and she had never dived in her life so slipping and falling off the rock and into the sea below was unnatural. She hit the waves, her whole body felt like it was covered in pins and needles. The coldness bit at her skin in the form of thousands of tiny teeth and her lungs burned as she tried her best to not breathe in the water. The salt burned her eyes, turning her vision skewed and blurry. Down here, there was no sound. No noise penetrated the wall of water all around her, and it was as if the sea had decided to drag her down, further and further into it’s depths, slowly.
Junmyeon’s reaction was almost instant. He let go of their shoes and jumped in after her, commanding the sea to let her go. The sea didn’t listen. Water was Junmyeon, and Junmyeon was water, and the sea desired her the same way he did. It’s desire was deadlier, it’s hold on her was the very opposite of Junmyeon’s. Cold fingers dug into her, clawing at her to stay, to be one with the sea bed. Junmyeon disapproved. He followed her trail, watching in the darkness as his love thrashed about and then slowly lost the will to fight as the current dragged her. The water whispered, pleaded for her to stay.
Junmyeon knew she was still human, mortal and fragile. Humans could not breathe underwater, could not survive the temperatures of the depths. Not without aid, not in normal clothes and without apparatuses that allowed them to breathe.
With one final command, Junmyeon called for the sea to leave her. This time it listened. The current around her stilled, keeping her in place, before pushing her towards him and towards the surface. It was arduous. Time seemed to slow down and seconds turned into whole eternities and lifetimes as he waited for her to be back in his arms.
Junmyeon gripped her, in the darkness of the sea, he fought the currents, bringing their mouths together, breathing air into her lungs as the tides carried them to shore, against nature but not against their master.
“I thought the Sea would never let you go." He spoke finally when Evangeline stopped coughing. She was still shaking from the cold and the ordeal, but she was alive, and her lungs were full of air. Crisp, sweet air.
"I thought so too." She whispered, falling into Junmyeon's waiting arms. He held her closed, warming her up with his body as he tried to ease her trembling.
"How can the soulmate to the God of Water not know how to swim?" He asked her, eyes incredulous and brows furrowed.
"Call it Fate." Evangeline managed to joke, but Junmyeon pulled her in closer, peppering kisses along her wet hair. The sun began shining again, its warm rays falling on their tangled bodies as they lay on the rocky beach.
"Fate indeed." Junmyeon whispered, looking up at the sky, wondering if his brothers were looking down at him now, whether it was Jongdae pulling the clouds apart to make space for Yixing's sun.
-----------
They left the beach soaked and trembling, but the whole ordeal had left Junmyeon with an idea. He didn't bother taking Evangeline back to her car. He didn't take her to the nearest village inn or grocery store. Instead, he pulled power, and in one step Evangeline found herself in his Halls under the primordial Oceans.
Evangeline's eyes roamed the marble halls, the flowers engraved in the walls that glistened from their mother-of-pearl linings. The rays of Olympus sun that reached them regardless of depths broke into rainbow shards on the walls and floors as they hit the crystal chandeliers with opal embellishments. Seaweeds swayed as if underwater and other sea plants lined the halls. the soft sound of flowing water came from the channels that turned the floors into an unending maze. Every once in a while Evangeline heard the great crashing of tides as they swept through distant rooms.
"Welcome to my home." Junmyeon spoke, leading her through the grandeur into his private rooms. There, he handed her clean dry clothes. One of his old tunics and a pair of soft cotton trousers. He handed her a towel as well.
Evangeline smiled and went to change behind a screen in the corner of the room.
"It's beautiful here, Myeon." She said once was dressed.
"Thank you. It's all yours." He watched her from his bed, the huge four-poster was covered in deep blue fabrics. Here in the depths Evangeline could see Junmyeon's godliness better. He seemed to glow with power, eyes shining and hair askew as if ruffled by sea breeze.
"My home is your home. Remember that." He told her, and she came closer to sit beside him. All this time they would meet in her home. Being here was foreign, strange. Only now she truly understood the scope of his power, the seriousness of their predicament. He was ancient, powerful and responsible for things she could not begin to understand. She was a mortal. her life a speck of dust compared to his, her responsibilities paled in comparison. She wondered, for the first time, whether this could even work.
"Will you tell me more," She finally asked, taking Junmyeon's hand in hers, she looked into his eyes and took a deep breath "About yourself and your family."
Junmyeon watched Evangeline with piercing eyes. He nodded, intertwining her fingers with his.
“ Gods feel lust, but we don’t fall in love. At least not the way humans do. The Fates saw that as a flaw, and my brother Baekhyun, the God of Love, agreed. He wanted to give his brothers what he gave to mortals, a type of happiness I suppose.”
He gave Evangeline a tight-lipped smile and she squeezed his hand.
"So the Fates and Baekhyun made a deal. They would tie soulmate knots into our lifelines, knots that cannot be undone. There was a caveat. The Fates wanted us to submit to their judgement, so there is no way to untie the knot without killing us."
"So you just accept Fate?" Evangeline was bewildered, her eyes Searched Junmyeon's face for any hint of hesitation or anger.
"Everyone accepts fate. We just happen to know about it. There are no exceptions in this universe. We just happen to be aware of it." Junmyeon let out a laugh, his lips falling into Evangeline's hairline. She still smelled like the sea, like him.
“So the myths?” She enquired, thinking back to high school, to learning about their marriages and conquests and romances.
“What myths? Of all the demigods? Of all of our lovers?” Junmyeon laughed again, smile bright and shoulders shaking gleefully, his eyes fell on Evangeline, his fingers smoothing over the furrow in her brows.
“Partially true. The time between ancient Greeks and the Crusades was a bit of a wild ride. We were ruled by chaos before I decided to be the responsible brother. Our children didn’t live long, they were volatile, unstable. They all died young. ” There was a small hint of regret in his voice, although he was never a proper parent before he felt hurt and grief for his children. Some things were inevitable if you lived this long.
“As my brothers run amok, Minseok and I looked at the death and destruction we caused and felt guilt, promised to never set foot on Earth again. I stayed clear of mortal affairs since.” He spoke, leaning back to take a good look at his soulmate. He felt the golden rope tied around his heart twist and tighten, reminding him of who they were and their destiny.
“Why me?” She asked, her voice small and unsure, and Junmyeon said the phrase he had heard over and over.
“Fates can be cruel.”
"Cruel?" He realised too late that this might have been the wrong choice of wording. Hurt flashed across Evangeline's face, marring her brows, twisting her lips. Her eyes flashed with sadness, but Junmyeon was quick to remedy that.
"Meddlesome." He corrected himself.
"Fate meddles, churns and spins our lives in ways we don't want." Junmyeon twisted their intertwined hands, pressed her palm to where his heart was, beating for her, twisting and churning as fate intended.
"It teaches us, that maybe the things we don't want, our fears and our rage, are only temporary. They harms us rather than protects us." He remembered his rage and his guilt, and the way she eased it, made it bearable.
“Do you really love me?” Evangeline asked, her eyes looking at him, waiting for him to look away, expecting him to do so.
“Yes.” Junmyeon was not a man who wavered or swayed. He would not turn away.
“It’s not lust I’m feeling. Eros is different. Eros is shallow, fleeting.” He remembered that kind of love. The gods had been hungry, left wanting more; never satiated. Junmyeon remembered the way it settled into his stomach like a monster in its pit. The lair had been shallow, and it did not make a home of it for long. This was different. It was terrifying and exhilarating and full of contradictions. This was the kind of love that would last, one that would never starve and never waver and never fade. It was a love that would require devotion and compromise and he was ready for both.
"This love is Pragma. A love built on duty and compromise and growth. This is a love that we had not been bestowed before."
“I feel like I’m drowning without you.” Junmyeon's breath fanned over Evangeline's face like a warm breeze.
“You can’t drown.” She whispered, remembering what had transpired earlier. He smiled lightly, but his eyes followed her with inhuman gravity.
“Without you, my lungs don’t feel like breathing.”
“Without you, nothing matters. Not the sea, not Olympus, not immortality.” Junmyeon took her other hand, holding both to where his heart thrummed and breath made home in his lungs.
“Fate is cruel, I know that. But Fate is absolute, and you cannot run from it. I tried.” He continued, watching as Evangeline gazed up at him, her breath in sync with his.
“You love me?” She asked again. Disbelief coloured her voice, as if she could not fathom the fact that a being such as him could feel such passion for her. Junmyeon put her musings to rest.
“I love you.” He repeated. He would repeat it as many time as he needed to, until those words made a home in his mouth, until they were engraved in the tissues and sinew of her heart; until her mortal red thread turned golden and godly.
“I love you too.” Evangeline's voice was clear as crystal when it rung through the halls, through the Seas and through him, tugging at his heart, pulling at his lifeline, twisting the knots in it until they were shapeless and impossible to untangle.
“What now?” She asked, and Junmyeon wasted no time to kiss her.
“Whatever you want.” He whispered against her lips.
“I don’t want to take you away from your life. I don’t want you to have to choose between me or the ones you love.” He confessed. Mortals had families, lives they needed to live. They were not made for immortality.
“You’re the one I love.” She looked hi in the eyes, falling into the hurricane that swirled there, now slow and careful rather than destructing.
“Marry me.” Junmyeon stated. With gleeful eyes he watched as Evangeline moved her face away from his, completely taken aback.
“Excuse me?” She asked, knowing full well that even at their age, marriage after nine months of knowing each other was not the best idea. It was quite a terrible idea actually.
“Not now, when you're ready.” Junmyeon clarified, eyes still sparkling as he resumed peppering kisses all over her face.
“You said I’m mortal.” She looked at him confused again, and he caressed her cheek.
“Not if you marry me. Once our threads become tied, yours will turn to gold, you will become a goddess.” Junmyeon remembered Yixing and Idalia. It was a grand wedding. Olympus was decked in gold, flowers bloomed in every crevice and the sun shone so bright, so perfectly that Junmyeon himself could not believe his eyes. He remembered Jongdae and his bride, their wedding brightened by lightning and decked in diamonds and silver and plants so emerald he thought they were jewels. He remembered the unbreakable golden bands created in his forge for these occasions. Who would forge his wedding rings? Kyungsoo who would pull them from the earth? Yixing who would weave them from sunlight? Chanyeol, who would craft them in a supernova or the heart of a volcano? Either way they would be eternal and final and binding.
“Goddess of what?” Evangeline kissed one corner of his mouth, and then the other.
“Seaweed? Clown fish? Does it matter?” He muttered, not really knowing what would happen. It was the Fates, after all that made these kind of decisions. In this, he was powerless.
“Junmyeon!” She smacked his chest lightly and he laughed. The noise carried, cacophonous and full through the water as pure joy bubbled in his chest.
“ Calm seas. The Goddess of calm seas.” He proposed, his smile never faltering. If he had his way she would rule the world, but balance was hard to break and calmness easy to seek.
Evangeline kissed his lips, hands now threading through his hair. He caressed her cheeks, fitting his mouth to hers.
Just this once, Junmyeon thought, just this once; Fate had been kind.
