Stand there. And watch.

Your name is equius zahak. you have found yourself trapped in a game due to a horrible glitch.

[deathshandmaid-blog]

==> Aradia: Land.

[deathshandmaid-blog]

She couldn’t help but laugh to express her amusement, and what a great feeling it was!  The way it bubble brightly in her chest and left her feeling very near to breathless. His downtrodden appearance in the face of her rejection made her feel, not exactly bad, but maybe bad for him.  She released the skull in her hand and caught it with her telekinesis so that it bobbed in the air just behind her shoulder.

Aradia stepped closer to Equius and reached out to pat his shoulder in consolation.  ”Thank you for the offer!  It was very sweet.”

She stepped past him, into the dim interior of the hive, wings giving a faint flutter and closing tightly  together to avoid brushing the doorframe. The skull bobbed in after her like a balloon without a string.  ”I don’t know, I think it’s very nice out tonight!” 

She turned on her heel once inside and looked at Equius once more.  Her head tilted in curiosity, hair falling across her face.  ”I wasn’t expecting you to be here. In fact I don’t think I thought about who would be anywhere!”  She was thinking about it now, of course, and wondering who else was here.  Sollux and Karkat were obvious, but it seemed as if she’d stumbled into a bit of a gathering.

That was rather exciting, now that she thought of it.  It could be just like the veil again, only this time she wouldn’t have to sit in a corner and not feel anything.

Yes, she had a very good feeling about this!

[standandwatch-blog]

Equius felt his skin tighten where she had made contact with him. Even when her touch had left him, that patch of his skin still burned with the feeling of her fingers. It was a good burning, a passionate and eternal burn like the fire raging in his beatpump at the sound of her voice and the smell of her flesh. Equius swallowed a lump in his throat and wished to whatever powers that be that he had a towel at this moment. His eyes followed her behind his cracked shades as she moved past him. He wished that she would have brushed passed him, and made another form of physical contact. He just wanted to feel her. It was the only pleasant sensation he had had ever since the glitches began. He placed a hand as tenderly as possible on the spot Aradia had touched and let out a soft sigh. The offer was sweet. He supposed it was a good thing coming from Aradia, but sweet had never been a term Equius thought of when considering himself. Perhaps that is because he did not care to be sweet at all. In fact, he was very disgusted by her, and yet wanted her all at the same time. His offer was probably more of a manipulation tool than a sweet gesture. However, when given more thought, Equius knew, though he would not care to admit, that he was indeed trying to be sweet to his beautiful Aradia.  "Yes, there are a lot of us here," Equius informed her, closing the door as she entered. "However you may feel the outdoors are, they are dangerous. The glitches are very decieving." Equius turned to her, his eyes fixated on hers. He saw his reflection in her gorgeous orbs and behind his glasses, his eyes darted to the floor. Those eyes, still without irises, were likely a part of this glitch. This meant Nepeta would want him to kill her too.  But she might already be dead, he thought, as he saw Nepeta approaching Aradia from behind. He felt his body tense as his mind begged Nepeta silently to help him come up with another solution. Recycling their data may not even have an effect on the glitch. Nepeta's eyes caught his as she stood beside Aradia, arms folded, brow narrowed.  

[deathshandmaid-blog]

==> Aradia: Land.

[deathshandmaid-blog]

Aradia blinked up at him.  He was still tall, still ominous in his looming and yet the way he held himself always seemed to take away from that.  An amusing contradiction and very much like a puzzle she might find in the depths of her ruins. Glyphs written across cracked and vine-covered walls in nigh indicipherable ancient language.

With Equius she had tended to think it was quite a bit simpler than that.  Aradia didn’t think he was nearly so complex and superior as he would live to believe, but she supposed letting him keep the illusion did little to harm her.  She was indifferent to it even now.  In the end the most puzzling of puzzle boxes—all mixed up gears and sand filled niches—was how she felt about him.

It had been extremely obvious what Equius wanted from her as soon as she entered her soulbot.  But even now, alive and in full possession of her own thoughts and emotions, Aradia could only find a lingering sense of bafflement.  Surely she felt sorry for him, and truly she had not enjoyed his forced attempts to sway her, though that was something she had let go of easily enough.

She simply did not know where she was coming from at all, but Aradia was certain it would sort itself out eventually.  It was really not that big a deal.

Her smile widened a fraction at the offer, honestly surprised he would make it.  She was a little tickled by it!

All the same, she said, “No, that’s fine! I really wouldn’t want anything to get broken.”

[standandwatch-blog]

"Oh," Equius said, his voice low. Of course, he knew that touching anything might cause it to break and dent. Although proud of his glorious strength, Equius had never had very much control over it. This was something the troll, at this moment, had decided he needed to fix. He glance down at the ground behind his cracked shades in slight embarrassment, hoping his cheeks did not have even the slightest hint of blue as he felt heat rushing towards them. He raised his gaze back to the fair and delicate Aradia.  "Hrrk, yes, well," he began, swallowing hard. Words buzzed around in his thinkpan violently slamming against his skull as they scrambled to form a sentence, a line, or anything that would make sense to someone that wasn't him. Equius stood aside to usher Aradia inside Sollux's hive. "It isn't safe out there."

He almost regretted inviting her in as soon as he did. He knew that as soon as her dainty feet touched ground inside the hive of the slaveblood, Equius would fade into the background. He would only catch glimpses of his lovely maiden from the shadows of the hive or from the crack of his door to his respiteblock. As soon as she entered, she knew Sollux would probably see her, and she him. The two would be bound in conversation as Equius stood there in awkward silence. It was disgusting. 

Yes, Aradia may be full of sludge. Yes, it probably made more sense for someone of Sollux's place to give her the attention she so rightly deserved. However, it made him sick to think that such a creature would win the affections of beauty so easily in comparison. What could this lowly class of troll have that attracted Aradia? Why would she not see Equius' clearly better potential as a matespirit? His touch could be much more tender, as he would have to control every single muscle in his body. He would do it, just for her. She was the only one that he wanted to touch besides Nepeta. Even having built her a life-giving robot, blessing her with the flow of a higher class of sophisticated troll, and having given her his affections, Equius knew that Sollux would likely win her attention and beatpump at the end of the day. 

He lowered his head, the weight of this reality crashing down on his STRONG shoulders...shoulders that did not feel so STRONG right now.

[deathshandmaid-blog]

==> Aradia: Land.

[deathshandmaid-blog]

Aradia turned at the sound of the door opening.  A swirl of dark hair, phosphorescent wings, and tattered clothing following her abrupt motion.  Her ready smile faltered only the slightest bit when she caught sight of who was to greet her, but it returned with full force in a millisecond.  The feelings Equius’ presence invoked remained a messy knot in her chest, only amplified now that she was alive.  She tilted her head to the side, bird-like in her curiosity and amusement. 

“Oh, hello Equius,” she said.  ”I see you’re still alive!”

She contemplated, for a moment, offering him congratulations on this front, but decided it went without saying.  It was very difficult to stay alive sometimes, and she wondered if they all ought to celebrate having successfully made it to this point in time.

Mostly.

Only it wasn’t so difficult as it was at other times, was it?

She certainly hadn’t had much trouble with it! She might not have managed so well before, but she was doing very well now.

So, she stood there, amused and bemused and wore her smile.  The skull of her lusus a heavy weight in one hand, the musicbox in her other, and her Crosbytop tucked under her arm; dirt smudged, wind ruffled, and living with every slow flutter of her wings.

Really, it was a nice day if she thought about it.

[standandwatch-blog]

This day was the day that encompassed anything and everything that could be perfect in a single day. Equius couldn't help but stare in disbelief for a moment. Before him, on her own two feet, stood the icon of beauty in this forsaken and glitched world. Even when things didn't seem so fucked, Aradia stood out from the others as a beacon of perfection. The only flaw had always seemed to be her blood color. Even though he knew that this vile sludge flooded through her veins, tainting them with its stomach turning color, Equius felt that it was an affliction that cursed her and did not fit her. He was of the STRONG belief that Aradia was meant to be born with a higher blood color and that something must have happened to infect the poor troll with the disease of maroon blood. 

Even with this disgusting truth, Equius' felt his beatpump working harder and his sweat pouring faster when he even thought of her. He pictured her raven locks brushing through his fingers as he would hold her in a tender and STRONG embrace. Oh how Equius longed for the day that his arms would encircle her with their protective hold and her skin would touch his and her voice would sing his praises. How perfect. How beautiful. This was the reality Equius was certain that fate, if such a thing existed, had in store for them. He was meant for her, and she for him, in a dance that moved gracefully in tune with the flow of time. 

Reality took hold of him. Equius' mouth broke into a small smile. He was happy to see her. But the smile quickly turned into a confused frown. Her eyes...was she...truly dead? If so, were all of them dead as well? What did this mean? His eyes quickly darted to the items she appeared to be struggling to hold. He offered a hand nervously. 

"Would you like some assistance?" he asked her, his voice shaking slightly. He was afraid, in all honesty, to ask her if she were dead. It made no sense that she should be anyway. Still, he wished that her lovely irises gave her eyes the final touch they needed to bring him to his knees before her. He tried his best to bring back his smile out of the confused muddle of his thoughts, but Equius could only manage a broken toothed half-grin. He also was in dire need of a towel as fast as a single troll could obtain one. 

[deathshandmaid-blog]

==> Aradia: Land.

The dust stirred with every downbeat of her wings.  A swirling eddy that caught at the tattered hem of her skirt just as much as it twisted the dirt around her.  Her powers buoyed her almost more than the sweep of her gleaming red wings, and Aradia landed with only the faintest tap of her shoes against the ground.

Night was still settling across the land, washing the world out with dusky colors.  She’d spent the better part of the day cloistered in a convenient rocky crag that the voices of the dead had guided her too, whiling away the brightest hours of day as she listened to their mournful chorus.  

They had ebbed away as the day went on, but when she leaped from the cliff and into the air again they had come soaring back.  A raucous crowd that occupied her head and yearned for but scorned her attention.  She’d been lead like a kite across more wasteland, the very land below her a moaning note of half death.  It rather reminded her of Sollux if she were to be perfectly honest.

Never quite one of anything!

She smiled faintly, straightening, and caught sight of herself in the large, multi-paned window.

Oh, it had been a shock to see what Sollux’ hive had been reduced to, but this!

Aradia found herself arrested by her own reflection, the smile dropping abruptly from her face.

Her emotional havoc must have reflected within the dead souls gathered so coyly around her, because she could hear their agonized shrieking as it rebounded through her head and vibrated in her bones.  She couldn’t fathom that the rest of the world didn’t hear it, though she knew they couldn’t.

She knew those dead white eyes, that tangled hair, and she supposed she should have suspected when she’d caught sight of her clothes. 

And yet, despite her startle, she did not feel the least bit dead.  She felt as alive as she had when she found herself with wings, wings that even now fluttered behind her, a testament to her memory as they shed fine bits of rust-red dust.

After a second, Aradia smiled and her reflection mirrored the move.

It really wasn’t so bad at all.

As long as she didn’t die again, she was content.  In fact, she would go so far as to say she was much more than content right now!

[standandwatch-blog]

One window, and only one single window, did Equius need in his respite block. No window at all would have sufficed but one window was tolerable. Equius was not one to illuminate his room. He preferred the dimness to the glaring light that the window would bring in. He had covered this single window with a black curtain to further block out the light. Still, right now, Equius found himself distracted by Nepeta speaking. His attention had been drawn away from Tavros for the time being as his moirail spoke to him. To be honest, he was only barely listening to her. Equius drifted slowly towards the window as she spoke. Something drew him to it. He wanted to take a peek outside for some reason, a reason which he couldn't explain. 

"Oh, good moirail!" Nepeta said, bouncing her way over to him. "You could use some time outside, you know? It would probably make you a lot less grouchy!!" She bounces around near him, not bothering to look out the window herself. That was probably for the best. Involuntarily, Equius began to tune out his moirail.

There, beneath him, out in the cruel, glitched reality stood a gorgeous creature without compare. Her hair fell so perfectly down her back, beckoning his hands as it brushed her body. Equius felt his palms, his yearning palms, begin to sweat as they closed into a soft fist. The beauty's skin looked so flawless in the light outside. So vulnerable and so naked. Her face also called to his sweating, passionate hands. Equius swallowed hard as his eyes fixated on the fair lady on the ground outside. He looked over her wings, a cute little addition. But then, he stopped on her eyes. 

Her eyes were blank. Dead. Equius frowned as he looked on. Was she dead? No matter. Whatever state the beautiful and desirable Aradia found herself in, she was still the epitome of perfection and all things worth admiring. It was strange to him, though, that her blood must now run with the sludge color, staining her perfect veins with its disgusting hue. His fists tightened as he thought of this. Aradia was not meant to be a low-blood and this he firmly believed. In fact, he felt that he was doing her a favor when he created for her a bot pushing the blood she was meant for through her cold, robotic body. Robotic body or not, Equius could not push the thought from his mind. He felt his body crying out for her touch. He felt his palms, soaked as they were, demanding to touch her. Still, Equius was stone. 

All the large, STRONG troll could do at this point was look down at that which he knew he could not touch, and observe that which he knew he could not have. Yet Equius felt strongly in his beatpump the desire to have her voice caress the air around him. Yes, that would be glorious. That would make everything feel much less horrible than it already did. Equius held his gaze on her for a moment longer before allowing the curtain to fall down. He turned his head to his moirail, a blank expression. 

"Equius! Have you been listening to me at all?" she asked, putting her little hands on her hips. Equius nodded slowly, even though he could not recall a single thing she had relayed to him. Nepeta appeared satisfied with this answer. She bounced her way back over to Tavros. For a second, Equius wondered what had her in such a good mood lately. Before this, she had been very demanding and impatient. Perhaps it was because she felt she was achieving her goals. Equius headed towards his door. 

"Tavros, you must stay here," he instructed, trying to sound assertive. "You must allow the biometal to heal. I'll be back in a short amount of time." Equius closed the door behind him forcefully. He had no intention of bringing Nepeta with him. All she would do is rush him through his encounter with the goddess of perfection in order to begin recycling data...which he immediately pushed from his mind for the time being. He had a more important task to accomplish. 

Equius moved quickly through the rest of Sollux's hive, making his way to the door as fast as he could. He hoped he was not seeing things. He hoped with all of the strength left in his beatpump that he had truly seen her and that she would still be there when he pushed open the door that hid the hive from the rest of the world. With a heavy sigh and a hard swallow, Equius opened the door to peer out at Aradia. 

[standandwatch-blog]

==> Drifting...

[daggerlancekind-blog]

Your reaction is, you think, the most comparable to a startled rabbit. The force and immediacy of his response was enough to send you wide-eyed and a little skittery, and you hardly realize you’re walking just as he told you to until sharp pain shoots up and down your spine and every part of you aches for how strongly your legs have just rebelled against you. The biometal hasn’t finished merging with your nerves, yet, that much is perfect clear; it’s still raw and exhausting in how quickly it’s already taken to your body, and all you want to do is sleep but you can’t sleep in here.

You take another step, and that one’s a little easier, now that the pain has become a constant. It still makes you dip your head a little and bite your lip until you draw blood, brownish-orange staining your mouth, but you can totally handle this. Totally. You absolutely have this. No, you’re pretty sure you probably, definitely do not have this, but what did Vriska tell you? You have to get out of here and you can’t get out of here if you can’t walk.

Laaaaaaaame. You’re doing that thing where you’re un8eliiiiiiiivea8ly 8oring, Pupa. This isn’t even the hard part!

You’re pretty sure that wasn’t what she told you, at least, not exactly in that instance that you had in mind, but you are positive that she probably told you that at some point in time. Or something like it. You aren’t so positive it was exactly those words. That isn’t the point.

The point is that you need to leave, and you can’t leave if you can’t walk. 

So you take another couple steps, and it burns like fire in your legs but they move, even as your nerves feel bloody (they aren’t, but it feels like it, they throb with every motion). You offer Equius a hesitant smile, a nod of the head.

“These are really, really good,” you manage, because even though they hurt that is absolutely true. You can hardly tell they aren’t your real legs, except for the part where they haven’t finished attaching to your body, you’re pretty sure. But you can control them, and that’s what counts. “Why, exactly, can I not leave, I mean, if that’s a thing you’re, willing to say?”

[standandwatch-blog]

It is clear to you that this little filth is not yet ready to walk outside with these legs. A quick eye notices the brownish-orange sludge drawn from his bite wound. For a moment, you struggle to fight back feelings of nausea and repulsion of a strength you have not faced since you attached the legs in the first place. To have him shed his disgusting blood in your hive, er, block, again...You ball your hands into fists which seems to calm you a bit. Squeeze of your fingers somehow takes the stress out of your stomach, which is desperately trying to dispel its contents all over your block's floor. 

You take the chair that is behind your desk and pull it out slightly, indicating to the smaller troll that you would like him to have a seat. You suppose he can entertain himself on his husktop for now, seeing as he cannot move anyway. Still, it worries you. He may contact Vriska in an attempt to leave your block...even though you haven't laid a harmful hand on Tavros that he did not ask you for. The procedure you performed did not count as harm. 

"I don't owe you any explanation, low-blood," you reply in a matter of fact tone. It's true, you don't. "It is revolting that you think you can betray your place and speak to me like so." Sure, you appreciated it when Aradia took the lead with you in the past, but this was Tavros. Much less desirable than she, even if she did sit lower on the hemospectrum than him...

Then, the thought hits you. This entire time, you have fought against your own natural instincts to do such things as provide food and promise protection to Karkat. It was a comfort to remind yourself that Nepeta had wanted these things of you, and therefore you were not lowering yourself. Clearly, you cannot shake the horrible weight pressing down on you. Speaking of which...

"Don't be so damn mean to him, Equius," Nepeta says, almost whining. She puts her hands on your shoulders, reaching up due to her height. She looks at Tavros with a huge smile and then back to you. It is all you can do not to roll your eyes in disgust. 

"You could afford to clean up your language some more," you tell her. "Clearly, you have been corrupted."

"Oh please," Nepeta says with a laughing snort. "You always say that."

[standandwatch-blog]

==> Drifting...

[daggerlancekind-blog]

You have been in Equius’s respiteblock for some time now. To be perfectly honest, it’s really starting to wear on you. You’ve had the husktop in your lap for a while, carefully avoiding the sore spot where the biometal merges with your legs – it’s still sore, when you push on it, but it isn’t so bad and at least you have legs again! – but Vriska gave you her advice an hour ago and you still haven’t complied. Advice is always such a loose term when you’re talking to Vriska, because when she ‘advises’ you to do something that usually means ‘do it, Pupa! Doooooooo it!’ And you aren’t one to argue with her, which in turn makes you a weaky weak failure!!!!!!!! so far as she is concerned. Sometimes you’re positive you should stand up for yourself, but that always goes so badly that you just embarrass yourself, so you try to avoid it these days. That makes you sad to think about. You’re going to stop that now.

The point is that you’re still in Equius’s makeshift respiteblock, which is really just a worktable and a robot pile and a tiny space in between because lowbloods don’t have nice big hives like you’re sure he’s used to. You keep meaning to leave, you really do! But you don’t want to make Equius angry, because you’re pretty sure he’s unstable as it is; he’s been staring at that wall for a good half hour, and you’ve had a conversation on Trollian and daydreamed about Rufio who doesn’t exist but you like to pretend he does, and tried to quietly flex your toes and feet and found that you can. And Equius hasn’t moved.

He did say something, though, under his breath. You couldn’t make it out, but it had been so sudden after all that silence that you’d nearly jumped a foot into the air. Scaaaaaaaaredy Pupa! Weakiest, lamest Pupa! says the Vriska in your head, so you try to collect yourself as best you can. Unsurprisingly, the Vriska in your head is not very much help.

She is considerably less help when Equius unfolds himself from where he’d been sitting, broad and tall and a lot scarier than meager little you. You’ve filled out some as you aged, sure, and wheeling yourself around all that time wasn’t for nothing! But he’s still a lot larger than you are, and quite frankly with all of that talking to himself he’s been doing you really don’t want to be anywhere near him. You don’t even have your strife specibus with you, because you are an idiot, holy shit, how did you forget that. You sigh, inwardly, and only some of it is with relief that Equius seems to want you out as much as you want to leave.

“I can, definitely try that, at least,” you reassure him, shifting away as best you can and then pushing yourself up. And oh, holy fuck does that hurt, the biometal has merged just fine and everything is working but your nerves are still raw and you don’t think you want to do this too much. But you can’t stay here, you know you can’t- you force a shaky smile and nod a few times, and hey holy shit it might hurt but you are standing. “Yeah, I can probably, definitely do this! Wow, these are- these are really great!” And you aren’t kidding, because holy wow you are thrilled right now.

You aren’t as tall as Equius, but you might be around Vriska’s height with these legs, and you aren’t sure how she’ll feel about that. That’s okay, you figure, if Equius will just fix it later. You’re pretty sure you would have been taller if she hadn’t crippled you, anyway. “Should I, uh. Go, then?”

[standandwatch-blog]

"No," you reply quickly. You can already feel Nepeta's eyes burning holes in the side of your head. Regretfully, you decided that she could keep Tavros in your hive while you ventured out to recycle everyone else's data. It is not proper to go back on your word, especially your word to Nepeta. You do your best not to look at her, you already know what her face will tell you. Surveying Tavros, you are satisfied with his height. The legs appear to support his weight properly, but you have yet to see him walk. You take a couple of steps back. 

"Walk," you command. You expect it will be incredibly painful. Still, you will not allow him to use the legs until he has full walking control of them. It annoys you how much you care about this. It isn't the smaller troll that you care about, his frail little form resting awkward atop your perfect, majestic creations. No. What you care about are the creations; those fully functional, flawless robotic legs. Your eyes narrow. Only you are able to appreciate the hard work and intricate design of your legs. Tavros will never be able to appreciate them like you do. You cross your arms across your chest and wait for the troll to walk.

[standandwatch-blog]

==> Drifting...

Your mind floats in what feels like the most gentle calm in existence. It glides slowly through the soft brush of clouds and finally settles down in a warm, fluffy bed. You are not sure if you are sleeping or day dreaming. Reality has bid you farewell for the moment and abandoned you in this sweet place. As you spread your arms wide and close your eyes, you hear the quiet pitter patter of feet coming towards you. Normally, your neck would snap to attention, but now you cannot bring yourself to care. Instead, you expand the limits of your being as far as you can to cover the entire area of your rest. The footsteps stop beside you. Then, the warmth of another body graces the ground beside you. Still, you do not open your eyes in curiosity. 

"Equius, you did it." Nepeta's words just barely tickle your ear as they enter. This arouses you and brings your eye lids open. You draw your attention to the troll laying on the ground beside you, looking up into the calm. She has a smile stretched between her cheeks, her eyes your bright and happy memory. You feel your mouth crack into a tiny smile, ever so faint. The job was finally finished. The torment and trials finally done. Without thinking you touch her hand. No screams, no breaking. It appears that in this calm, you can hold your dear moirail's hand without destroying its fragile bones. 

"It is over?" you ask her. She turns her head to peer into your...er...sunglasses. Her tiny hand closes around yours tightly, giving it an affectionate squeeze. You are best moirails, the best moirails. 

"Yes, everything is good now," she whispers, small tears of joy gathering in the corners of her eyes. "Everything is good now..."

You realize that your hand is lonely. It is clenched into a fist on your table. Your eyes are not looking back into Nepeta's but instead staring blankly at the wall in front of you. Her voice does not fill the air with cheerful sounds but instead, the air hangs silent and dead around you. You glance behind you to see Tavros once more. You cannot bring yourself to care about what he is doing, all you hope for is that he does not sever the link between his legs and his body. You do not want to attach new legs to him. Again. 

You notice that Nepeta is no longer in the room. Where she could have gone is anyone's guess. Perhaps she went back into your mind. Guilt rushes over you. How could such a thought have tainted your thinkpan? Of course she has not retreated to the recesses of your mind. She is not imagined. She is a real, living, breathing troll, just as Aradia when she was in need of a body. The only difference being that Nepeta is not compatible with your robotic bodies. You heave a heavy sigh and glance back down to Tavros' legs. 

"I know what I said," you begin, "but as soon as the pain subsides you should try walking. You must be able to walk. I will adjust them as needed." Hopefully, you did not make the little troll too tall.

[standandwatch-blog]

==> Break the Silence

[daggerlancekind-blog]

You have been in Equius’s private block for altogether much longer than you had intended or, for that matter, could have possibly desired. It’s strange in there, filled with musclebeast posters and broken robots, smelling horrendously of things you never wanted to smell. It doesn’t help that your company is Equius, who quite frankly has always made you very nervous, even before the fiasco with Nepeta and Kanaya. That’s actually kind of an understatement - the fiasco part, you mean, not the very nervous bit, that’s really pretty accurate. Spending this much time this near him is beginning to wear on you, too; you’re to the point where maybe even Vriska would be a welcome sight, even though she’ll just grab your horns and steer you into a wall and make you run on these legs even though they’re still sore. 

But the fact that you have legs, that really makes it all worth it! You had been working on these during the session, until Equius went crazy and started killing people, because once that had happened you weren’t too interested in getting new legs from him anymore. Still… you wiggle your metallic toes and your mouth splits into a grin, disbelieving and utterly thrilled. The place where the biometal hooks into your thighs is horrendously sore, and it only gets more sore when you try to move your legs, but you can move them.

“Yeah, I uh, I think that I definitely, probably can!” You offer him another bright, sharp-toothed smile, even if it’s a hesitant expression. It might upset him, somehow, and that’s really the last thing you want to do. Especially when you’re pretty helpless on a pile of robot parts with brand new legs, new legs he’s examining very closely and if you’re being perfectly honest looking pretty grumpy about. Oh, god. Whatever’s got him narrowing his eyes like that, you really don’t want any part of it. “It still kind of hurts, actually it really, kind of hurts a lot. But that’s okay, I mean, it’ll get better and I can move them, and that’s what matters, right?” 

[standandwatch-blog]

"Don't move," you instruct him. You stand back up and return to your table where you husktop sits, showing the closed memo. Moving would cause the biometal to take longer to heal. Of course, you don't feel the need to explain this to Tavros. Even if he did try to move, the pain would likely slow him down. Your eyes skim the screen as you sit. Her handle appears. Your beatpump nearly stops. 

You hear Nepeta scowl beside Tavros. Perhaps it is her lack of patience, or maybe it is some form of jealousy. If it is jealousy, you can't bring yourself to care this time. Her handle hasn't shown up on your husktop in a very long time. Her face hasn't graced your sight in what feels like an eternity. The sweet smell of her skin hasn't filled your senses with beauty in this dark and glitched existence since her death. 

You had always felt that touching her would bring warmth to your life. If only you could reach out and feel her without breaking her. She was too good for the sludge that coursed through her veins day in and day out. The new heart you'd created for her before everything went to hell had finally given her the glorious blue that she deserved. And now, as you fixate on her handle, you can only imagine her figure before you. She stands, a hopeful beacon, beckoning you. You can almost feel her beautiful glow. You drift away into thought...

Why, Aradia, how horrible to find you out here in this dangerous glitchbeast infested land? Oh, Aradia, within a moment, I could whisk you away from all of these mortal dangers and draw you into my safe respite block. I can protect you from those beasts which seem to harm you and teach you, finally, the ways of the class you were always meant for. Aradia, sweet Aradia....

Reality tears through your beatpump. Recycling her data would eventually come to question. You glance back to Nepeta and then at the monitor. Her wishes are to return the game to normal and to return your friends to normal. She wants her body back. She wants to be visible. You cannot bear to tell her no as she stares into your eyes. But that would mean....Aradia....

"Must they all be recycled?" You ask, turned to Nepeta. She stares blankly back at you. For an instant, this glimmer of hope pounds your beatpump like mad. Faster and faster. Perhaps Aradia could be spared this fate. You watch as Nepeta looks down at the floor, small green tears forming in the corners of her eyes. 

"Equius," she said, her voice cracking. "I just want everything to be okay." She brings her gaze back up to you, her face clearly broken. "I just want to go back to the way things were. It will be better in the end, I promise. It will end up good..."

You bite your lip, eyes dropping to the floor. How can you turn away those eyes. How can you reply harshly to such a pained request. Clearly, though impatient, this task bothers her as well. She just wants the same thing you do. You look back at Tavros, remembering that he is still there. 

"Do not try to move for another day," you tell him sternly. "You might sever the biometal link."

[standandwatch-blog]

==> Break the Silence

You do your best to ignore Nepeta's frustrated glare through the silence. You know she wants you to move faster. Things take time. Besides, you aren't entirely sure if you can bring yourself to recycle the data...you don't think you can handle the sounds of them screaming. The imagined screams tear through your mind, causing you to squint. Thankfully, your shades mask your pain. Perhaps Nepeta's desire to keep Tavros will work to your favor. You look at his legs and then back to his face. 

"Do you continue to feel pain?" you ask him as you rise up from your seat. The biometal would most likely take some time to heal. It would take time for it to get to know Tavros' body and for the two to become one. It was beautiful really, the union of troll and machine. Even if the troll in question was a lowblood like Tavros. 

Squatting down beside him, you examine his legs and ignore his face. The face is not what concerns you. Your creation, as expected, will serve him well once more. Hopefully these legs will not find themselves destroyed. Nepeta's snarl in the corner draws your attention. You glance at her, your eyes narrowing. Her impatience was becoming disgraceful. Karkat's incessant blathering and horrible attitude have affected her more than you would have liked in this glitched state. 

"You can just leave him here with me," Nepeta says, moving closer to the two of you. "How long are you going to wait? Don't you want everything to return to normal?"

You are silent. Your stare obviously does not effect her and so you return to examining Tavros' legs. 

"Do you feel you can control them yet?" you ask.

[standandwatch-blog]

==> Read the Memo

You stare blankly at the memo before you. Your brow furrows as you consider a response. Sweaty fingers brush gently over the keys in deep contemplation of the words they should spell out. Then, you draw your hands back. No. You have no intention of replying to this memo. You have no desire to alert the others to your intentions, least of all Karkat, the self-proclaimed leader. It almost sickens you a bit, but then you remember Nepeta. 

She sits silently behind you, her eyes burning holes in the back of your head. The room is so silent and the air is so still that the only faint sound you hear is the gentle intake and release of air from her chest. You sit, continuing to stare at the screen as you think of each of the people responding to it. All of you are trapped in an endless cycle of horror. The glitch is consuming everything and destroying anything worth loving in this world. Nepeta. 

You remember what she told you. If you kill them....if you kill them...their data will recycle...the game will recycle....everything will become normal again...She was right, and it all made perfect sense. You would kill as many times as it would take to restore your friends....to restore your world and the comfort you once knew before every deciding to join this foolish game. You know Nepeta is flushed for him, but you cannot help yourself. You blame Karkat in the recesses of your mind. 

Your ear twitches at the sound of Tavros typing. You turn yourself to look at him. Part of you wants to take away his husktop and stop him from telling the others what you are going to do. Then it strikes you that you have never relayed the details to him. All he knows is that you have created legs for him and are now waiting for him to test them before he departs. He does not know that you will not allow this. You will not allow him into the world where he may die. He appears to be back to normal already. He doesn't need to die. Nepeta wants you to save him. 

So for now, you just sit there and stare at the smaller troll. 

[standandwatch-blog]

==>Finish the Legs

[daggerlancekind-blog]

The biometal feels like it’s grinding a little inside, uncomfortable and still raw with fusing nerves, as you lift one of them and bend it. It doesn’t hurt, exactly, but it feels wrong, like it isn’t really part of you yet; you hope that will change, soon, but your hopes have never been very high for much about your life and you hardly expect that to become any less true now. 

“Yeah,” you confirm aloud, with a quiet clear of your throat and an awkward, hesitant smile. “Yeah, they work gr-“ 

They do not, in fact, work great, or rather they will not until you better understand how to use them, how much they weigh, nor will they until the nerves finish healing. Equius really is a genius with these things, you have to admit, and it’s downright impressive. But that isn’t why you stopped. You stopped because Equius kept talking - Equius, who never talks - and he kept talking to someone who most definitely was not you.

No more need to hurt you?

“Equius?” You ask carefully, cautious and wary. He hasn’t been stable, not without Nepeta, but… you had hoped he would be better. This was bad. If he just murdered everyone again- oh god, was this your fault? “Uhh, are you, alright?” 

[standandwatch-blog]

Nepeta kisses Tavros on the top of his head as he speaks. He sounds incredibly nervous. A low growl sounds in the back of your throat merely by instinct. She lifts her head to look back at you and puts a finger on Tavros' lips. Her smile, as it crawls across her face, feels as though it is crawling up your spine, digging claws into you as it does so. All you can do is watch. Nepeta snuggles the small troll's head. 

"Please let me keep him, Equius," Nepeta says again. "I don't think we need to recycle his data! look!" She indicates his legs. "He's the same as he was before the glitch!"

You think about this for a moment. She is right. Tavros appears to be frozen in time. Unchanged. Perhaps she is right that this is an indication that Tavros is fine. If he really isn't glitched like the rest of the game, then maybe killing him would cause a glitch. You definitely don't want to do that. You heave a heavy sigh and then nod. 

"Alright. I will accept this," you say half-hearted. You finally draw your attention to Tavros. He looks afraid, and his legs have yet to heal. You don't change your blank expression. "I am perfectly fine," you tell him. You stand up and walk towards him. He shouldn't be laying on the floor like that. You lift him up, careful not to break him in anyway and place him on the newly cleaned work table. You may have bruised his back a little but you were particularly careful not to damage his perfect legs. 

"Are you in pain?" you ask, looking at the legs once again. It will take some time before he has full control of them. Nepeta follows you over to the work table and rests her head on your sweaty arm as she peers at Tavros' legs. 

"You did a perfect job, Equius!" she reminds you. You know that of course. "Thank you for keeping him here! Now...to recycle their data."

"I will not begin immediately," you tell her sternly. "I must instruct Tavros on the use of his legs again." Nepeta draws back. Angry. 

"I want to fix this glitch now!"

"If you want him to live then he must be able to move," you say, your tone unwavering. You will not be spoken to in such a manner. She instructed you to keep Tavros alive. So you will do so. "He must be able to follow and hide when necessary." You look from the robotic legs to the small one's face. 

"Are you in pain?" you repeat, a little louder. Nepeta crosses her arms, pouting. She is not happy with the delay in her plans, as far as you can tell. However, you have a task to tend to. 

[standandwatch-blog]

==>Finish the Legs

[daggerlancekind-blog]

The first thing you notice is that everything below your waist is heavy and that the feeling of biometal fusing with your nerves is still raw, dizzyingly painful and just generally awful. The second thing is that you are lying on the floor, flat on your back, and that’s probably for the best because it’s solid and cold and reminds you (along with the pain) that you are still alive, even as your head throbs and you quietly thank any deities there might be that you live. Perhaps fairies are responsible? That’s a nice thought.

The third thing is that Equius is watching you very intently. You try to sit up but can’t really bend at the waist so it’s a lost effort; the best you can manage is to groan unhappily as your head churns and aches with the attempt, and to flutter your eyes open, squinting over at Equius. You are, frankly, in an incredible amount of pain. You try not to let that show, or think about how much blood you’ve lost.

You have little to say, and you aren’t sure you can manage anything properly anyway, but you offer a tentative sort of smile and a mumbled “Thank you.” because you know Equius eats that respectful bullshit up and you like being polite anyway. Once this heals, this’ll be great! You just know it. 

[standandwatch-blog]

Nepeta giggles as Tavros speaks. She rocks back and forth beside you on your robot pile and points towards the smaller troll. You are already looking at him, watching him wake. He doesn't seem to be able to sit up, which is quite unfortunate. You hope it has nothing to do with the legs you so generously made for him. They are, after all, perfect. You aren't entirely sure why Nepeta is laughing. You just hope that she will explain herself. Without warning, her laugh stops. She stands up and runs over to Tavros. Then, she sits on her knees beside him. 

You nod to his thanks. "Are you able to move them?" You need to know that they work. You want the gratification. Nepeta pats Tavros on the forehead and then looks back to you. 

"Isn't he adorable? He's so polite! Can I keep him?"

"Keep him?" You raise a brow. "For what? Nepeta, I will not allow you to corrupt yourself this way. No matter how angry you are with me."

She laughs again.

"But he's so cuteee! And I don't want to hurt him anymore. Let me keep him!"

You furrow your brow and look back to Tavros. You wonder if he can feel Nepeta's hands running through his disgusting hair or interlocking with his grubby little fingers. It angers you. You ignore the sweat. 

"I have no more need to hurt him. The legs are attached," you reply. You are extremely confused. Nepeta glares at you. 

"We have to keep him!"

"Why?"

"He shouldn't see the others die," she says, a twisted smile crawling across her face. Something about the way she is staring back at you whilst stroking Tavros is bothering you. You can no longer ignore your sweat. You get up to retrieve a new towel. 

"I don't know what you are planning," you tell her as you wipe the sweat from your neck. You then replace your old towel with the new towel across your shoulders. "I feel that it is a terrible idea and you should stop this at once."

"You OWE me, Equius," Nepeta snarls at you. "You have allowed me to die. You have allowed Sollux to die. You must do something to repay your debts, Equius."

"What do you mean?"

"You will do as I say," she answers. "We will fix this glitch."

"How?"

"Recycle their data. Over and over. As many times as it takes."

You assume that in order to recycle their data, the others must die. You swallow hard and wipe your sweat again, this time on your forehead. 

[standandwatch-blog]

==>Finish the Legs

[daggerlancekind-blog]

Tavros watched nervously as Equius fidgeted and measured, hands folded in his lap to keep them from wringing together again. It was like the other troll to be quiet, so he didn’t mind sitting there and waiting to make sure everything was as it should be; still, the decidedly sharp, lengthy object on the table was making his beatpump twist with concern for his own well-being.

It was, as it turned out, an excellent judgement on his beatpump’s part. He was fairly certain he felt it jump into his windhole as soon as Equius picked up that big, hulking piece of metal, easily the size of Equius’s own arm rather than one of Tavros’s skinnier, shorter ones. He wheeled a half-pace back, hands unfolding in a hurry to do so, out of sheer reflex. Vriska terrified him often. This was nothing new to him. 

“Wait, what-” The impact, however, was, and it was really a miracle his spine didn’t snap. Tavros felt his head crack and his body fell limp, thrown over the arm of his own chair by the force and onto the floor; the wheelchair toppled nicely onto its side and made a loud crashing noise against the floor that it was unlikely anyone would investigate. Equius’s incredible strength undoubtedly left him with one hell of a concussion, he managed to think hazily as he lost consciousness, mumbling something incoherent that even he didn’t really understand. 

It would be worth it when he was useful again. It’d all be worth it. 

[standandwatch-blog]

You drop the arm. You probably could have just knocked Tavros out with your hand but this felt a little more dramatic. You bend over and lift the little troll out of the wheel chair and lay him on your work table beside your perfect robotic legs. If there is one thing you take pride in, it is your ability to make the best robotic limbs in paradox space. You shudder as the next step crosses your mind: you will need to remove his pants in order to make the cut, and to put them on top of the new legs. 

You hold your breath as you unbutton Tavros' pants and begin sliding them down his legs. Holding your breath doesn't make this any less disgusting or any less painful, but it does make you feel a little bit better, even if it is in a superstitious way. This is far too inappropriate for you. You feel extremely uncomfortable. You then notice your clothing beginning to stick to your body: you are DRENCHED in sweat. You find yourself wishing with all of your might that Kanaya was here to do the deed. The mere sight of this lowblood without his pants makes you feel extremely dirty. You will need to cleanse yourself very thoroughly after this. In order to continue, you remind yourself that you are not performing a lewd act, but instead, you are merely conducting business. The whole point of this is to secure the robotic legs. Nothing more.

You do your best to be gentle with the little troll's legs, so as to keep them in tact. However, it then dawns on you that they will be removed anyway. Breaking them doesn't really matter. You quickly remove the pants and set them on top of the robotic legs and then examine where you will make the cut. Your stomach lurches. When you cut this little filth, his atrocious brown blood will most likely soak your hands. The thought of it seeping into every crack as it drips down from his wounds and infecting your work table causes you to turn away and dry heave a bit. No, no! You cannot have this brown staining your hands. You cannot have this mudblood all over your space.

This task is becoming far too difficult for you. It is crossing ever line you have ever come to set in your life. All you meant to do is give Tavros new robotic legs. You didn't want to have to deal with his blood. You swallow the knot forming in your throat and pick up the homemade knife. You press it against the little troll's skin and close your eyes tightly. No. You can't do this. 

"Equius what are you doing?"

Now of all times, she had to come back. At this moment, Nepeta had to return and make your beatpump stop. You open your eyes to see her standing over Tavros beside you, examining his legs as well. You have no idea how she got into your room, but then again you never do anymore. Your eyes suddenly widen when you realize that she is in this block with Tavros pants-less. You drop the knife and raise your arm to block her eyes. 

"Nepeta! Don't look!"

"Don't be silly, Equius! I'm here to help you!" She stands behind you and places a tender hand on the back of each of yours, guiding your hands back to the task at hand. "I knew you couldn't do this without me. What are meowrails for? Hee Hee!" You are beyond confused. The last time you saw her, she hated you. Now all of a sudden, she was acting like her pale feelings for you have returned. Still, you allow her to help you make the cut on each leg, severing them completely from Tavros. As you predicted, The cut was not completely clean, and you need to clean it up with the blowtorch. This part of the task you complete on your own with Nepeta looking on with a smile. However, it is not the familiar smile you remember. She doesn't look happy. She looks...evil. She looks...like she is enjoying this way too much. You secure the robotic legs to Tavros and then slide the pants back on. You will need to clean the blood a bit later. Right now, you are preoccupied with Nepeta. You stare at her, waiting for her to speak. 

"I liked that," she tells you. "I want to do it more."

"More?" you ask. 

"Yes. Who else can we cut?" she asks, excited. Her tone sounds like the old Nepeta but her words are so far gone. Your jaw drops open slightly.

[standandwatch-blog]

==>Finish the Legs

[daggerlancekind-blog]

That’s one hell of an invitation. Tavros cleared his throat and offered an awkward smile, wheeling past Equius and into the room. There wasn’t not really much of a place for him to actually be worked on, he noted inwardly, grimacing as he took a quick look around the respite block and immediately regretted it. His hands fidgetted awkwardly in his lap once he came to a standstill, peering up at Equius with a furrowed brow and a tiny frown.

“So, uh. What’s the plan, exactly?”

[standandwatch-blog]

You don't answer him right away. Not because of the dramatic affect, since things like that never really mattered to you. You decide to show him rather than tell him. You lead the smaller troll to your work table and then remove the legs from their resting place. You measure them against Tavros' legs. Perfect, you did remember those measurements. You then put the legs back on the table and pick up your home-made sharp metal knife and look to Tavros. 

"I think this will be easier if you are not conscious," you say idly. You almost sound like you aren't even talking to Tavros, but talking to yourself instead. You turn from him and grab the heaviest looking robotic part from your pile. The purpose for this is obvious: you're going to knock the poor little guy out. Without warning, you turn around and swing the robotic arm at Tavros' head.

[standandwatch-blog]

==>Finish the Legs

[daggerlancekind-blog]

Tavros is a punctual sort of guy, especially when he’s been sitting around doing nothing but watching Vriska sleep for the last two hours, which was an exercise in both patience and his own willingness to disturb himself. She was both very pretty and very wild when she wasn’t snarling and laughing in his face, an odd sort of mixture that he wasn’t sure whether he liked or not. He was all too willing to go rejoin Equius again, even with the prospect of his legs being chopped messily off, when the two hour mark struck.

And so he knocked, right on the dot. He figured Equius would appreciate that. Well, he hoped so. He didn’t want to upset the much bigger troll, not when he’d asked him such a monumentally huge favor. Not when his hands were going to be responsible for his well-being very shortly. Tavros tried not to think about that. “Uh. Hello? Equius? Can I come in?”

[standandwatch-blog]

You place the blowtorch down beside your poorly made metal "knife". You're certain Tavros will not like this idea, but you can't come up with another way to secure the new robotic legs to the troll. You don't really care whether he wants to do it this way or not either. You just want to get the robo-legs on him and then get back to fighting your own bots. The tension and anger building inside you is beginning to ware your patience thin. 

You respond to the call at your door by opening it and stepping aside once more for Tavros to enter the room. Unfortunately for him, this room will have to serve as your crude "operating" room. It is quite unfortunate that Kanaya is no longer available to make this a swift and painless process, but you are certain you can get the job done just as well. You gesture towards the work table as you feel the sweat building again. Are you...no. You always sweat. That can't have anything to do with the fact that you are going to mutilate this little troll just to throw a pair of robo-legs on him. Not at all. 

[standandwatch-blog]

==>Finish the Legs

You piece together the joints very carefully on your work table. You are sure you have made the legs at least close to the same length as Tavros' real legs. You wouldn't want to make him TOO tall. Or TOO short. Although you feel that short might suit him, you have done your best to remember the measurements used on the first set of legs in order to make these ones. You use a blowtorch to finish the job. 

Safety shield for your face? Of course not. Your glasses are good enough. Besides, you are extremely STRONG. The heat does nothing to you, and you have never used a shield for your face before. As you then bend the knee of the first leg to be sure that it is functional, a thought strikes you. 

How are you going to remove Tavros' legs? You stop what you are doing. Your eyes scan the finished legs in front of you as you struggle to come up with a solution. You glance at the robotic pile beside you, wondering if you could use sharp metal to get the job done. You frown. The cut would not nearly be clean enough to secure these legs. 

You then remember the blowtorch in your hand. The concentrated heat welds your robotic pieces together with perfect precision. Maybe it can be used to clean up the cut you make with a piece of scrap metal? Surely Tavros will need to be unconcious for this. Or perhaps the smaller troll will come up with a solution when he arrives? You decide to wait until he gets to your block to address the issue. For now, you bend the knee of the second leg and then test the ankle joints as well. 

Finished. These legs are perfect. Hopefully Tavros won't ruin these ones. 

[daggerlancekind-blog]

==> Tavros: Seek the blueblood?

[daggerlancekind-blog]

He wouldn’t really use the word intimidating, if anyone asked him, but no one ever asked him so it wouldn’t ever matter. Tavros stuttered out a quiet ‘uhh’ and wrung his hands some more, thoroughly uneasy in this little section of the hive. Equius was clearly four steps ahead of him, so all he had to do was spit the words out, but… 

“I think, if it’s okay with you, and wouldn’t be too much work or anything, I’d really probably, definitely like to have legs again.” He nodded firmly at the end and managed some shadow of a smile, pleased with himself. Equius was a little less friendly than he remembered, and had never liked him much to begin with - lowblood, and all that, he guessed. The sooner he got out of here, the better. “And, if it’s also okay with you, then I’m going to, go, because I don’t really think, I should antagonize you, which it seems like I may or may not be doing.” 

[standandwatch-blog]

You don't mind building him another set of legs. Building is pleasurable. At least this little project will give you something to do other than wonder about the whereabouts of Nepeta. You nod slowly as Tavros finally spits out his request. You don't really understand why he is so fearful to ask this of you. It is a well known fact that you like to build robotic limbs...and robots. However, you don't bother thinking about it. 

He doesn't want to stick around. Fair enough. You would prefer to work in solitude anyway. You can call him back when they are finished to fit them and test them out. Lowblood or not, you are sort of looking forward to this project. You give him yet another nod. 

"Return in two hours," you instruct him. "We will fit them and test them." You don't turn from him. You merely stare at him, waiting for him to leave. You can't help but feel a burst of excitement. It is the first you have had since this glitch. You take the towel from your neck and tend to the sweat on your forehead.