Mình đã nghĩ, ngày mình rời khỏi gia đình mình để sống tự lập sẽ là ngày mình rất hạnh phúc. Ngày mình biết mình được sang Mỹ sẽ là ngày cuộc đời mình bước ra khỏi những trang xám buồn tẻ.
Nhưng mình đã nhầm.
Kể từ ngày biết tin mình sẽ đi Mỹ, tâm trí mình chạy đi khắp mọi ngả. Chạy về quá khứ để tận hưởng những thú vui mình đã chưa được nếm trọn. Chạy đến tương lai để lo lắng cho những diễn biến, những mối quan hệ mà mình không kiểm soát được. Chạy sâu vào mớ bòng bong trong lòng mình, không biết mình nên muốn gì, nên phấn đấu vì điều gì trên hành trình tiếp theo. Nếu có vui, hay có hào quang ánh sáng nào, thì có lẽ cũng chỉ là một vài khoảnh khắc hiếm hoi.
Khi chạm đất và trở về với thực tại, mình vẫn đang ở đây, trong căn nhà mình được sinh ra và lớn lên trong 25 năm qua. Vẫn là những người thân quen trong gia đình, những người mình cùng ăn, cùng ngủ, cùng trò chuyện, cùng đồng hành qua những chuyển biến từ nhỏ đến lớn trong 25 năm qua. Nỗi đau chia ly và sự tiếc thương lại trào dâng. Có lẽ, tâm trí mình chạy đi khắp mọi nơi là để né tránh những cảm xúc tiêu mãi vẫn chưa xong của thì hiện tại.
Đau vì phải xa gia đình thì mình mới được sống và phát triển trọn vẹn hơn. Tiếc vì phải để lại những danh tính, bản thể cũ để bước tiếp trên hành trình làm người. Rối vì chưa biết phải làm gì với quá khứ và gia đình. Liệu 25 năm qua có phải hoàn toàn là một vở kịch, một illusion mà mình cần rũ bỏ? Bao nhiêu phần trong đó đem lại ý nghĩa và hạnh phúc thực sự, để mình còn nắm giữ và nuôi dưỡng tiếp? Những câu hỏi mình tưởng đã sáng rõ, giờ mới nhận ra sự chắc chắn ấy chỉ là ảo ảnh.
Tiếc thương là một cảm xúc khó chịu. Nó làm tâm trí mình giằng xé giữa những phiên bản, những "vũ trụ" khác nhau. Nó làm lung lay những lựa chọn ban đầu đã sáng tỏ, làm yếu đi sự tập trung vốn đã hữu hạn. Mình tự hỏi, đến bao giờ tiếc thương mới kết thúc, để nhường chỗ cho sự chấp nhận và thả lỏng?
*This comes from his social media post on 27.06.2026
"There's more to the youth mental health crisis than digital devices. A major culprit is accelerating perfectionism. 307 studies, 83k students over 35 years. Young adults feel growing pressure to be flawless, and it's a risk factor for depression and anxiety.
Perfectionism started rising a generation before smartphones. Modern tech might be an amplifier, but it isn't the root cause. Perfectionism stems from unreasonably demanding expectations and unduly harsh criticism. It is stoked by the parents who punish kids for getting an A-, the teachers who embarrass students for getting a math problem wrong, and the coaches who berate athletes for missing a shot.
Some basic messages to counter it:
Mistakes don't make you a failure. They make you a learner.
Achievements are not a symbol of your worth. They're a snapshot of your performance.
Beating yourself up doesn't make you stronger; it leaves you bruised.
Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to a good friend.
It's impossible to please everyone. Decide whose opinions matter to you - and whose don't.
Character is not revealed by how many setbacks you face. It's forged by how you face them.
The objective is not to be the best; it's to get better. The person you're competing with is your past self, and the bar you're setting is for your future self.
Our biggest regrets aren't actions - they are inactions. Don't set yourself up to wish you'd taken more chances.
Healthy goals include 2 targets: an aspirational result and an acceptable outcome. If you fall anywhere between them, you haven't failed.
Success is not a straight line. It's a squiggly line"
Hellooo :D First of all, sorry for disturbing you and my English is not that good I guess, but it's always on my mind when I see it and I wanted to ask: What do you think about the cover of Übermensch? Ji-yong has his feet right there, and maybe it's related to Seung-hyun's fetish? Because there are many songs for Seung-hyun.. and maybe that too?
And while I'm at it, are you still doing the analysis for Stendal Syndrome and Be solid?
Btw I LOVEEEE your work. I had so much fun reading everything.
Hiya, lovely! 💕 As always, reminder to everyone that a) a message in my inbox is never a disturbance to me, I love interacting with you guys, and b) the fact that you can speak more than one language is so intensely cool and wonderful and you should never apologise for any English errors, it's always going to be way better than I can do in another language!
Ooohhhh the Übermensch cover.... alright, let's talk about it!
So, I first want to say: I don't think it's anything to do with Seunghyun's foot fetish 😂 although the idea did make me laugh. I think there are maaaaany many layers to it, as there always is with Jiyong (and as he's self-admitted) - most of them are about his relationship with himself, but some could be argued that they're about his relationship with Seunghyun. I'm going to show all of the things I've found about the album, give my opinions, and let people form their own from there ☺️
Friedrich Nietzsche
So, starting with the obvious influence. Nietzsche was a German philosopher and writer, and his theories of man, culture and the place of religion in modern society was massively influential in his era.
This is where we get the title 'Ubermensch' from - it translates to "Superman" or "Overman", and comes from his 1883 book Thus Spoke Zarathustra. The basic concept is the ubermensch represents the next evolutionary step for man, so what society could be if we rid our shackles of cultural/religious expectation and conformity, and each created our own life-affirming meaning depending on our own situations. I think, when you compare it to Jiyong's current situation in his life, it reflects that perfectly. He took that time away from idol life to truly do the things he wanted to do, to heal after the nightmare that was 2017, his military service and Seungri's scandal that almost ruined them all, and to reflect on how he could unshackle himself from expectations to truly live the life he wants to live.
Quick aside - a huge influence in the Kwon Jiyong era was The Truman Show, because he felt like his whole life was being watched by people and he couldn't escape it. The final scene of The Truman Show is him leaving the environment he was trapped in, represented by him walking through clouds up towards the open door.
Much in the same way that Jiyong is walking on the Ubermensch album cover! I believe it's his way of saying that he's free now, he's made it through that door and he's walking through this new world free from the oppressive prying eyes that plagued him in his twenties. We're still watching him, sure, but from below, and he's stepping over us, implying that he's heading towards somewhere private that we can't reach.
Ok, back to Nietzsche, and lets pull a little GTOP into this bitch.
Jiyong recently liked this post, which I've translated from Korean:
So, uhhhh...... anyone getting massive GTOP vibes from this 🙃 Nietzsche's opinion on unsuccessful relationships was that, "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." The concept, at its core (and what the Instagram post is trying to get across), is that a couple should walk through life together as equal partners and friends who enjoy each other's company, rather than hoping a quick fiery romance can survive long-term on love and passion alone.
I personally think you can relate that back to the album cover. Jiyong is walking alone, but it feels like he's walking towards something or someone that he's looking at out of the edge of the frame. The whole theme of the album is split into two halves: his external fraught relationship with the media and his fairweather fans, and his internal relationship with himself and with someone clearly close with him. If you think IBELONGIIU, DRAMA, TAKE ME or BONAMANA are about his fans, I'll have to kindly tell you to argue with a wall lmao - I think a tiny element of them could be about his fans, but mostly they're about himself and whoever is close enough in his life to inspire such intense and beautiful love songs.
To me, it's him visually showing that he plans to walk life with 'this person' (Seunghyun) as the ultimate version of himself that he can be, his Ubermensch self.
Salvador Dalí
We all know who Dali is, right? He was an incredibly famous Spanish surrealist artist, and we absolutely know that Jiyong and Seunghyun love his work. Seunghyun, famously, wrote Doom Dada as a nod to the Dada movement, which is built on foundations of breaking expectations, going against the norm, fighting against typical aesthetics as a way of protest or criticism etc in the wake of WW1. In the music video, Seunghyun wears a Dali moustache:
Jiyong is also a fan of Dali, obviously. He created the following art piece, entitled Dali's Face, and he posted the picture on the right to his stories last autumn. The watch is a Cartier Crash, and while it's never been outright stated to be influenced by Dali's Persistence of Memory work, it's very clearly remenicent of it.
So, what does all this have to do with the Ubermensch cover?
Well, here is Dali's work Palace of the Wind:
Seem, uh... familiar?
The canvas is, reportedly, huge and fastened to the ceiling of the "sala nobile" at the Dalí Theatre-Museum in Spain. And the real kicker is that the people in the image are Dali himself (in blue, with his iconic moustache) and his beloved wife Gala (in the red dress).
Dali was obsessed with his wife. She was not just his partner in life romantically, but also in business, acting as his manager and art dealer due to the fact that Dali had intense anxiety and struggled to manage with daily life. They were together for 53 years and she featured in soooo much of his work because she was his ultimate muse.
You're all smart people. I don't need to point out the obvious links between Jiyong's red trousers and bare feet and cloud background in oranges, pinks and blues, or the obvious link between Seunghyun's blue outfit and Dali moustache in Doom Dada, and the painting... right? I don't need to point out the intensity of the relationship between Dali and Gala, and the similarities between GTOP... right?
If we tie it back to my Nietzsche theory from earlier, it feels like Jiyong is on this walk of life to face his partner through it all, the person who inspires him to create even through their worst days together - he's hidden from us, because that's the way they want their relationship to be now, but he's still there in front of Jiyong.
(And yes, I know Seunghyun's blue suit is a reference to Django Unchained, you don't need to correct me or tell me, this analysis isn't about that)
Kevin Francis Grey
Right, let's move away from the album cover on the left and onto the one on the right. It's the iconic U made out of two people looking at each other, which also featured in the stage setting of the tour:
Jiyong has told us that these two people represent him - one is his current self, and one is his past self when he was first making solo music. It ties perfectly back to his Ubermensch theming, where he's broken free from the expectations of idol life and society expectations, and he's now living in the way that allows him to be authentically himself and the best version he can be - not tied to YG, not tied to gender presentation, not tied to tradition. I'd also argue the two people represent him as G-Dragon (his public external self) and him as Kwon Jiyong (his personal internal self), as he's also talked about how this era has allowed him to mend his relationship with G-Dragon and exist as both sides of his personality.
But, as always, there's a GTOP art link lmao.
This work is Face Off by Irish artist Kevin Francis Grey - it features a man and a woman, staring at each other defiantly and defensively, with their vulnerability hidden behind the cloths they're wearing. You can absolutely relate this back to Jiyong's relationship with himself - like a typical Leo, he's a stubborn bastard, and I can definitely see the link of his past and present or his internal and external staring at each other, both defensive over the way they live their lives, both hiding inner vulnerabilities that they don't want the other to see.
However, you could also see it as a reflection on GTOP as well.
Now, do I believe they're supposed to represent Jiyong and Seunghyun? Not exactly. I truly do think that both of them are meant to be Jiyong, as this whole era is about his own self-reflection and growth, but I do believe there's an element of Seunghyun always within Jiyong. If you imagine these statues as his G-Dragon persona and his Jiyong reality, Seunghyun is part of that hidden real life side, and he no longer has a place in G-Dragon's public performance side. When you watch the DRAMA music video, he's dancing opposite the woman, her face hidden like in the Francis Grey work. Throughout the dancing, they very rarely face each other, especially after they let go of each other's hands. To me, if we link it back to the Ubermensch statues, it relates back to Jiyong losing parts of himself - his G-Dragon persona when he thought about quitting after his 'drug scandal', his inner self during the MOTTE era, and Seunghyun when they went through their 2023 divorce era. That's the whole theme of DRAMA, right? When everything's rolling in good, Jiyong self-sabotages or Seunghyun pulls away from him, and it's taken a lot of internal and external growth, both as individuals and as a partnership, to face each other again as equals (are we seeing that link between the other artists yet???)
And finally - I think about Jiyong kissing his Ubermensch statue like he'd probably kiss Seunghyun at least once a week, it's truly insane:
So, in conclusion... I think it being a reference to Seunghyun's foot fetish is only scratching the surface 😂 But I hope you enjoyed this long ramble about art and GTOP, my favourite things to talk about!
Wednesday night. 3 Pre-MBA workshops. About 1.5 months left until my MBA starts. An uncertain future that obliges me to feel FOMO all the time. Guilt if I want to rest early.
But my mind throws an error sign. Too stimulating to stay with the fight. I want to rest but my mind refuses to win over that desire. Then I remember, 4 years ago, on a bench at FTU, feeling lost after a senior year class, I watched this narrative short film. For years, I used to visit this channel frequently, seeking peace and wisdom. Then one day, I just stopped.
Karl, in a Groundhog Day time loop, found himself living in 2 different worlds if he made a choice over another. The third time entering the loop, Karl saw through the nature of his choice dilemma and told the old man he would make his own choice this time. When asked how he dealt with the possibility of making the wrong one, his wisdom came out.
"I spent the last week trying to figure out which choice was right, but maybe there isn't a right choice. Maybe there's just a choice. Maybe some decisions aren't hard because there is a better option, but because there isn't one.
This whole time I've been worried about regretting my choice by choosing the wrong thing, as if I could even know what I'm regretting. Regret would mean there was a right choice and I made the wrong one, but how could there be a wrong one?
The only thing I can know is that on the other side of the decision, I'll be there. And if I'm there, no matter what path I go, there'll always be something to love, and there'll always be something to dread. The only thing to regret would be not making the decision for myself. If anyone picks it, if I let anyone pick it, if I leave it to chance, it'll never be mine, or at least, it won't feel like it.
I guess I'll do my best, pick one, and move on. It won't be chance, it won't be uncertainty. It'll be something in between, and it'll be the right choice."
So, which are you going to choose?
I'll just rest tonight. And damn it, it's just one trivial decision.
And if I decide to drive the fandom mad and make Stendhal syndrome about Gtop who’s gonna stop me? No one! I do what I want on the internet that I pay for myself. I still kept it light over there cuz they can be crazy sometimes and education is best done step by step 🤪
ok so i've been following gtop for a while but i'm still a bit confused about the timeline of their relationship, if it's not too much trouble could you sort of explain (briefly, of course) their relationship through the years, like at what points were they together, broken up, etc?
Thank God you said briefly, Rachel was soooo ready to start pestering me to pull up every single receipt I had and make a complete timeline (since I promised her I'd do it one day... but I also promised to watch Good Day lmfao). I made one when I just got out of hiatus, but turned reblogging off cuz I knew it wouldn't be a good one (and I was right) since I'd just come back to the fandom after a WHILE. So here's me tryna set a better timeline for you :)) I wouldn't be adding receipts since there's just soooo much, but I'll mention what I'm using as proof and/or referencing (and most of it is on my blog... tho I can't ask you to go through it since it's wayyyyyyy too messy, if you reallyyyy wanna see something I'll look through my blog/other blogs/Instagram for you, feel free to ask! :D (I'll ofc also lowkey be plagiarising my old post, it's not that bad.. but don't read it please please please please-)). I'll add asterisks around some things for more "headcanony" thoughts (but ofc they'll be based on observations).
Pre-dating history:
They met each other in 2000 and were "(hip hop) rivals" is what Jiyong apparently said during an interview (I reblogged at some point, probably multiple times (cuz I do that a lot) lulz), but I'm pretty sure they weren't enemies since Tabi later says that since they've known each other since 2000, Ji knows him very well (he said this during Come To Play in 2008). From everything I've seen, GTOP met each other in 2000, Jiyong moved away from the neighbourhood they shared (probably (I'm guessing here because of circumstances) in 2001 or 2002), after which they were reunited at most in 2005.
*Most people agree that: Jiyong either formed a crush in 2000 or 2006 (most people believe 2006) and Tabi was slow and didn't realize he was in love till 2008 (yep, he's the cliche "male lead actually loved the female lead all along" guy) and we make this assumption because of the clip where Jiyong corrects Tabi and reminds him of the fact that he had his first love in middle school. They only start dating in 2010, which is when they created GD&TOP vol.1 (which is why that album rocks; it was built upon GTOP's honeymoon phase).*
Dating history (I'm just gonna talk about their break ups):
Broke up ending 2012-beginning of 2013, but were (maybe) having issues since August 2012 (GD's instagram likes, posts, overal behaviour + Coup D'Etat album (*with at least 2 songs having a strong connection to Seunghyun; personally I think more than 2 songs were inspired by T.O.P.*). They were 100% broken up by the time his OOAK tour came around, so March 2013, that's something everyone I saw can agree upon.
Got back together in June 2013, but *most people don't think they started dating again at that point (and I agree, I can't really explain it clearly anymore tho..* I think it came down to Jiyong wearing the blue bracelets again temporarily and them still being a bit distant by the time August rolled around), but they were definitely dating again in September 2013 (When Seunghyun's KakaoTalk status was literally from what GD had been doing the past few weeks with a photo of GD as his status update + the clip that I just spoke about with anon).
Okayyy, so THEN they broke up either the night of March 26 or morning of March 27 2014 (GD's very heartbreaking Insta updates and likes, drunk tweets, leaving South Korea to be in Japan instead to get away from his break up and him crying on stage but covering it up by saying he's just very sweaty cuz it's hot + Tabi also being emotional later on during a different concert) -> May 11 2014 they most likely started talking again because GD posted "Baby Goodnight" to his Insta (or Twitter) story and started liking and posting more happy posts. After this, we're in HEAVEN. Even tho we get the Jiko bearding incident (I will never not be goddamn pissed that we'll never be able to shake that off), we get so many receipts, it's beautifullll.
Okay now we get to December 2019 - February 2020. GTOP were unstable again (and I can't bear to go through those receipts on most days, they both just looked so upset sometimes). They either broke up at some point or had a pretty horrible fight (I think it's this one). But by the time March 2020 rolled around they were both very much together again. I really don't wanna bring this up again tho cuz ugh TOT.
Then the most recent break up, that according to me toke place somewhere in the beginning of April 2023 because GD & TOP were HAPPY AND OVERJOYED AND OVER THE MOON (pun unintended) in 2022. He then inconsistently started liking GTOP content now and then, starting from about July 2023 (where he liked a clip of him scolding the other members in Japanese for taking to long to give an intro to the GD&TOP stage. Tabi's face isn't visible but Ji clearly says GD&TOP in the video). He made a lot of poss with Tabi's art in it (but those have been deleted by now). And then he also wears the bracelets at September 2023. In April 2024 he used Baby Goodnight for an Insta story. By the time 2024 rolls around and his scandal is over (thank gosh) his GTOP likes are a bit more consistent, culminating into him liking a post in December 2024 about Tabi's place in SG2 being confirmed. And then, after the Baby Goodnight Story in Paris in January 2025, (and Ji liked a reel alleging he met up with Tabi that day *I trust this like*) his GTOP likes increase exponentially. *I have (personally) pinpointed the day after the second Seoul concert as an important day because he started to like more romantic reels + his likes of the GTOP references he makes + a lot of other stuff that to ME is confirmation that they're talking to each other again, because liking past GTOP moments vs. liking posts that alleged you were referencing Choi Seunghyun during concerts is very different imho and is just ONE of the reasons I think they're speaking again (besides him using GD&TOP songs for his story, etc).*
Sighh.. I think I addressed everything? Lemme know :D
Recently, I turned my back on my family many times. For no reason, I just found them annoying and not helping my career at all. I was not proud of myself for feeling that way; the only thing I could do was to be honest with my feelings.
That mindset didn't help my career at all. I started to fear human overall, thinking they had no reason to help me out or accept me. I tried to approach everything by myself, which didn't lead anywhere due to my mental blockage and lack of information. I was in deep despair, and this was still before MBA.
Then it happened that certain people came into my life. My fellow Vietnamese UNC sister. A social gathering among UNC students. A consulting meeting that guided me on networking. And most especially, my aunt from the hometown just showed up and stayed with us for 2 days. Going in, I didn't feel delighted at all, both confused and bothered as I was still lost about my future direction. Unexpectedly, these people showed me love, support, and helpful advice. More than anything, they gave me hope and the reason to trust people and life.
When my aunt told me she was here to support us, we didn't need to greet her off, and she would return near the day of my flight, I wanted to cry. Finally, I understood what my background meant to me and my future. Whatever happens on my journey, I want to keep being humble and never forget to care for other people, to create value for my community. Never forget to leave the place better than when I arrive. With love and light!
heyyy you once said that Ji looked like he wanted to jump off a cliff when Seunghyun talked about his pre-debut girlfriend, do you have footage of that? Also any more jealous gd moments you can think of?
I turned into a giggling gaggling gaggle of geese answering this ask, because like, yes GTOP is real and proving they're real comes first and foremost, but also, I loooooove being delusional 🤩🤩🤩🤩 Also I adoreeee how Jiyong is cut out of the camera so often in these scenes cuz his reaction isn't entertaining lmfao. I do have to say, they don't seem to get jealous really easily, which is normal for a healthy couple. But there are delulu moments :D
a) Okay so I can't find good quality of this show anymore :// But basically, they also talk about how GD had known Tabi for 8 years by that point (since this was made in 2008) and GD was so solemn and serious, look at their perfect harmony.. yet here's T.O.P, smiling over a one year relationship while Ji's been there, by his side, for 8 years. Lmfao Tabi you bingu. It happens around minute 7.. ugh really, I wish I had better footage.. but honestly, Ji's devastation is clear even in this video.
b) Here's footage of GD stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Tabi talking to Jaejoong and his cocky smile after turning around LMFAO.
c) Here's another subtle one; once GD touches Tabi's hand, he stops talking to Bom and stays by his side plus the fidgeting as he observes them. Idk if it's necessarily jealousy, but since I warned you about being delulu.. I'm adding it :)))
d) His entire John Lee jealousy wave during 2013.. following and unfollowing and following him on Instagram and Twitter and his liking behaviour.. like, that was pretty much driven by jealousy imho. These screenshots I've used for like 3 posts atp lmao.
e) His reaction to Tabi retelling his kiss with Lee Hyori.. so monotone.. (also if you watch the clip of him kissing Lee Hyori, you'll hear Kwon Jiyong's heart breaking backstage /j).
f) "Warning" people that it's hard to get close to T.O.P (Tabi was also being jealous during this show btw... oh there was something in the damn air that day lmao).
Jiyong warned reminded Taehyun after he said that he wants to get to know TOP hyung better.
jiyeolie: “ jiyong trying to start up some shit ”
g) Playful jealousy with Dae :)))
💬 1 🔁 98 ❤️ 167 · 160828 GD left a comment on TOP’s deleted post (this is a fan edit)
Credit: bb.translations via vipkrys
h) Going all "I wish he'd show this amount of love to us as well"... lmaooo JIYONG you clingy baby, I love you :D
💬 0 🔁 18 ❤️ 43 · Tabi’s younger sis & first love in Alumni VER Jiyongie
Cre on pic
More: GD said he wished to be Hye-in (TOP’s sis in Al
i) This show. Lmao so so much to unpack here (and I'm not the most qualified person, ngl.. so I'll drop the clips and let you make up your mind).
Probably some of you have seen this, but on the topic of GD acting like a 미친년 (the swearword it really sounds like TOP calls GD in the Extra
Omg really? I don't remember this moment, but that's funny he immediately looked at Jiyong, ahhh haha.
Look at this image. Look at it. Jiyong plz, comme des fuckdown, it's just fanservice (and then he proceeds to look away while Tabi "flirts" with her.. Lulz).
j) One of the most popular moments of Ji being jealous (tho I personally think his initial reaction is more about Tabi saying he's single.. and Ji also has a resting bitch face unfortunately (the sweetest people have resting bitch faces :'(().
k) Kwon Jiyong has no chill
💬 0 🔁 171 ❤️ 268
💬 0 🔁 32 ❤️ 54 · 170214 Seungri Instagram Update
We will meet soon #2017#BigBangCalendar #DVDisFunny#HadFunWhileFilmingIt TOP hyung, I mi
I'll edit if I remember anything elseeee :D
EDIT: HOW THE ACTUAL F-CK DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS ICON??? (It’s the clip of CL saying she saw Tabi naked and Ji having a visibleeee reaction)
And whatever this entire trip was supposed to represent
Shipping GTOP Isn't Just For Fans - It's For Friends and Family Too!
A definitive list of all the people in Jiyong and Seunghyun's lives who have made subtle but clear nods of support towards them as a couple over the years, because maybe we're all just old man yaoi fetishists together
Part 1 because there are just THAT MANY people to talk about
Seunghyun's family
Starting strong! Seunghyun's mother and sister have both been quietly supporting them for years at this point. During the MADE era, when his sister and nephew (in the blue) came to watch BigBang perform, Hyeyoun posted this about Yeonjun loving his Uncle Jiyong so much that he wanted kisses from him:
Jiyong has also included Seunghyun's sister and nephew in gifts before now - this was posted by Hyeyoun, of a PMO x Nike collab in 2021, where her and Yeonjun both received a pair. The caption says "Yeonjun and I wear matching sneakers ❤️"
Seunghyun's mum has also quietly shown her support over the years. I don't really believe those old fan sightings from the early, early days, but this one is too cute not to imagine:
'I’m not sure if I’m allowed to post things like this……. It was last October when it happened! Seunghyun’s mom visited the dorm but the members were in the car due to their schedule.
Seunghyun’s mom opened the car door and said a few things to him but Seunghyun just replied carelessly, unwrapping a candy like this……. “Yeah, No, yeah yeah, okay.”
His mom told him see you later and closed the door, then the car door suddenly opened again and someone stuck his body out and said “Omonim (means mother but it’s also a term used to call “Mother in Law”)!!!!!!! Hello Omo… It's Jiyongie…."
Jiyongie didn’t even care about all the fans were around and he greeted her like that... Jiyong made sure that he said goodbye to her as well. Seunghyun’s mom was very happy to see him and she greeted him back in a really lovely way… "Oh~ Jiyong-ah~~ Long time no see~”
She showed a smile that she didn’t even show to Seunghyun... the mother-in-law is in love with her daughter-in-law.'
Anyway, even if that didn't happen, we absolutely have concrete proof that she still loves her favourite child-in-law haha. She follows Jiyong and Taeyang on Instagram (no Daesung, sorry Todae stans!):
And she also follows several GD-specific and GTOP specific fan accounts:
I can't lie, there is something very funny about the idea of Seunghyun's mum following an account called 'gdragooner', who drops shit like this on the regular:
I don't think I'd follow an Instagram account posting things like that about my son and his childhood friend that he no longer talks to, unless there was truly something in it. And if you want to call Seunghyun's own mother a yaoi fetishist pervert too, be my guest!
Jiyong's family
I mean, obviously. Most famously, they stood outside for about half an hour waiting for Jiyong to get out of the car before enlisting for his military service, and it turned out all along he was in that car with Seunghyun. Again, why give him all that time alone with his childhood friend (who caused a scandal to their group not long before), unless there was something important there? I love my friends dearly, but I'm not sure my mother would be cool with me spending my last minutes before being enlisted in the army with them instead of her, unless my friend was also... oh, I dunno... my partner?
It's also clear that there's often a sixth adult with them during family dinners and events - we can absolutely write these photos off as being taken by a server at a restaurant, because most of them have been taken at either Jiyong's or Dami's homes, and there's absolutely evidence of a sixth person eating and drinking at the table.
Speaking of Dami, she's also posted things about the artwork featured in either Jiyong's or Seunghyun's apartments, such as this gold Rudolf Stingel piece and the Alexander Calder mobile above it, two things that have switched homes between them in the past:
Mark Grotjahn
Mark Grotjahn is a close friend of Seunghyun's - they've been friends for at least a decade at this point. He's an artist known for his abstract, geometric paintings, and both Seunghyun and Jiyong have featured his work in their homes and have personal connections with him.
I can't tell if Mark himself is queer - I know he's had female partners, but he's also worked closely with amfAR, a foundation for AIDS research, with his work raising significant amounts of money for the foundation at the Two x Two For Aids and Art benefit. He also created his Butterfly series of artworks, which feature rainbow colours. Obviously, there's a huge connection between butterflies, rainbows and the queer community.
It's worth noting that the above picture is one of the many many instances of GTOP sharing artwork (or, if not the same piece specifically, then pieces in the same collection). For an even more interesting bit of lore, Jiyong posted the above photo around the time of the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, 2016 - he had to take down his post in outright support of those affected and the LGBT community as a whole, and subsequently snuck a lot of rainbows into his posts afterwards. You can read more about that here!
This is also a really fun thing that I found recently:
Mark has a series of works that look like... idk, spirals and random squiggles lmao, but he's pretty famous for them. Obviously, they've also featured both on Jiyong's and Seunghyun's Instagrams.
However, Mark's artwork entitled 'Baby Dragon No. 2 Face' featured as the background of Jiyong's phone not too long ago! I just thought that was very neat and fun hahaha:
Anyway, what has all this got to do with him shipping GTOP?
Well, Mark has famously posted things of the two of them before now, which have also been acknowledged by Jiyong and Seunghyun. This very famous GTOP picture is of them stood in front of his artwork, which was initially posted by Mark (and liked by Seunghyun), and then reposted by Jiyong himself (see below). Remember this, because it'll be coming back later!
He also posted the photo on the left of GD&TOP era Jiyong and Seunghyun wearing faces from his Angry Flower series of works. Seunghyun then used the one covering his face in his infamous 'chicken and beer' insanity when he received his exclusive matching flower shoes from Jiyong:
Finally, this is just cute, lol.
In 2016, Seunghyun posted a photo of himself with Mark, plus a picture of the stylised autograph that Mark had done for him. Later that same day, Jiyong (who was on holiday in Hawaii with Daesung at the time) posted a photo of a drawing he'd done in the sand, captioned: "I also got an autograph for TOP!" with the hashtag "#MarkGDrotjahn" hahahaha. Seunghyun, being the prick he is, commented, "I don't need that copy."
Richard Prince
Richard Prince is a pop artist who became famous in the 1980s - he worked in New York, so he was a contemporary of other big GTOP heroes like Andy Warhol, Jean-Michel Basquiat and Keith Haring. He's most famous for the Nurses series, and oh boy do we have a lot to say about that.
Jiyong LOOOOOVES the Nurses series, particularly Millionaire Nurse. He's done a photoshoot with it (looking very cunty if I do say), he's got it in his home, he's used it as his lock screen, he's referenced it in his music, he is all over this man and his art lmao:
And, of course, Seunghyun is also a big fan:
In 2016, GTOP met Richard Prince and he signed something for them:
And from that, he seemed to form quite a nice friendship with them. He also posted a manip of the two of them stood in front of one of his artworks, where Jiyong's private account replied 'don't cry, hyung 💕' and Seunghyun responded with a keysmash lmao.
Remember the Grotjahn version of this from earlier? I hope so, because I buried the lead a little there - when he posted it, Richard commented underneath it with the frankly insane response 'Hey. I had that same couple stand in front of one of mine. That's Life.' Might I remind you, he's an American man who was working alongside a variety of queer artists in 1980s New York at the height of the AIDs crisis, there's absolutely no way he'd not know the connotations behind his words there - especially as he knows both of them personally.
You've then also got the time Richard Prince commented under one of Jiyong's posts not long after Seunghyun went into the military:
The turtle has a shell too haunts me in my nightmares, besties. We all, of course, know about turtle and shell, right?
Turtle and shell are their nicknames for each other. Seunghyun is turtle, because he would always carry his backpack around with him and it made him look like a turtle (confirmed in the 2012 episode of Healing Camp). Jiyong would also call him turtle on his old Cyworld messages back in 2005/2006, and would refer to himself as shell:
Jiyong made a reference to turtle and shell as recently as last year when he was on Park Myung-soo's show and they were making, I think, bracelets together:
it makes absolutely no sense for Richard Prince to know about this and reference it if he weren't a personal friend of theirs who knows personal things about their lives, like their little childhood nicknames for each other. Unless, of course, Richard Prince is another yaoi fetishist pervert just like Seunghyun's mother, and he just happens to know the really insane in-depth GTOP lore because he's a secret shipper.
Anyway, I've run out of photo space hahahaha so I'll have to finish this here. Part two will be up soooooooon!
It's the same old problem for any young people about to leave their family behind to go independent, especially after a long time of unpacking those history baggages or so-called generational trauma. How should I define my relationship with my family from now on?
Like many people, I felt that great sense of responsibility that I had to save my family from the shit we went through in the past. I could do that for myself, so I could do the same for my family. The truth is that I cannot change people who don't want to change. In my case, most of the people in my family with whom I interact on a daily basis are all in their 60s. They are 2-3 generations older than me, born in a time of war and famine in a developing country. Of course, they don't want to change, so me wanting to do so will just lead to more pain and despair.
Watching this podcast from Mark Manson made me more relieved in that at least I was not the only one having these messes of emotions towards family. Turned out, many people dealt with that feeling of shame, guilt, and confusion when it came to confrontational conversations, outgrowing their upbringing, and saving their families. The podcast also gave me the answers to all of these conundrums. It's not that we only have 2 extreme choices of sticking with our family or leaving them behind forever. We can choose our boundaries and the level of interactions we want to protect our well-being. And we really don't have to address every elephant in the room; some baggage is better off being ignored. Knowing that just releases lots of stress for me, and I hope it could be the same for Asian women growing up in multi-generational families.
Tôi đã đạt đến 1 ngưỡng nhận thức để nhận ra đâu mới là thứ quan trọng bậc nhất đối với tôi. Nếu tôi chỉ có 1 cuộc đời, tôi muốn làm gì với nó? Tôi muốn rằng mỗi ngày thức dậy, tôi được tạo ra 1 điều gì đó. Làm việc hàng ngày. Tập trung làm và cống hiến. Đặt cả trái tim và công sức vào công việc đó. Để đến lúc nghỉ ngơi, tôi không phải hối hận điều gì về ngày hôm ấy. Nếu tôi có duyên được gặp 1 ai đó, tôi muốn dành toàn bộ thời gian và tâm trí cho người đó, vào đúng thời điểm đó. Sau đó mối quan hệ có phát triển hay không, tôi không thể kiểm soát được. Nhưng chính thời điểm này, khi đang ngồi đối diện người kia, họ là cả thế giới đối với tôi. Đó là cách tôi muốn sống. 25 tuổi, tôi đã dần nhận ra những mục tiêu mà tôi muốn đạt được, vì thế tôi cũng muốn mình deliberate hơn với thời gian và sự tập trung của mình. Mặc cho nhiều người ngoài kia có những đời sống, những thành tích đáng nể trên mạng xã hội, nếu chúng ta không có duyên để biết nhau, tôi muốn nhẹ nhàng buông ra khỏi tâm trí của mình để nhường chỗ cho những con người, những sự sáng tạo đến từ cuộc đời của tôi. Và tôi phải tin vào chính mình, vào cách sống tôi đã chọn. Hành trình của tôi sẽ mang đến nhiều con người khác, không phải những con người trên mạng xã hội kia, và nó cũng sẽ tuyệt vời chẳng kém gì những bài đăng hào nhoáng đó. Chỉ là tôi chọn trải nghiệm trọn vẹn những khoảnh khắc này mà không viết, không đăng gì trên mạng xã hội. Cuối cùng, điều còn lại quan trọng nhất chỉ là đến cuối cùng, những gì tôi tạo ra trên hành trình này, từ nghiên cứu, nghệ thuật, kinh doanh, cho đến mối quan hệ, sẽ mang đến một sức nặng, một cái chất đậm sâu mà tôi mong muốn. Và tôi sẽ cố gắng ghi chép, tạo ra 1 thứ nghệ thuật gì đó từ những trải nghiệm trọn vẹn của bản thân. Không phải để wow hay để làm hài lòng 1 đám đông khó tính hay 1 tổ chức danh tiếng, mà là để cho chính tôi, cho chính những người thầy, những nhà tư tưởng lớn đã thôi thúc tôi phải sống như thế này!
As I woke up at 10AM, after a long night of consulting sessions, the sun shone through the big window of my room. The temperature felt right in a room that got air conditioned 2 hours ago.
At that exact moment, I felt so peaceful and whole that I didn't find any need to work or to sleep. Just lying there, doing nothing, and enjoying the surrounding environment. What an utterly strange and beautiful feeling, one I hardly felt in the last 5 years!
/16.06.2026/
Starting anew
In a strange land
Carving my own path
Wondering
Will I win or lose?
How will I feel
When others seem to win?
How will I feel
When society changes
My path's good today
But collapses tomorrow?
It will happen
Sooner or later
It's the ride
Ups and downs
Inseparable
Fear or not
Destined still comes
So rather
Enjoy the now
Lock yourself in
To the only things
You can control
That way
There's only win!
you can hear GD yelling at 3:06 (GTOP MY OTP. you can see him look for GD then he realizes that his man is there for support and makes him smile. love them so much.)
