RevoltloveR

[staranatomy444]

I am studying a lil online course of Counselling Skills Lvl 2 in the UK. I am doing it to just build up my more skills and knowledge in certain areas that have always interested me but have never studied. I used to go to uni for Fine Art but found it to be very prestige, however the arts are still very much in my passion.

I find it that I have been feeling like I am not smart enough and don't have access to specific learning or can't learn it in the same way. That or it is behind a paywall.

This brings me to my question. Does anyone have any suggestions for links, websites or anywhere else I can find information about the following as well as free online learning tools.

Being a working class 'citizen' in a capitalist country I feel it very easy to see the flaws in the systems around me and I like to look at life in a way that isn't completely opposite to that but something more beneficial to all.

Also being a working class person I am not always able to find the time to research how to learn best where to learn best, even more so to learn what I want to learn at all.

Here's to knowledge and education not being so prestiged and gatekeeped.

[staranatomy444]

Also does anyone else feel so stuck in the middle of everything.

Like I feel the guilt of the fact there are people out there living worse than me. In poverty, war, dictatorships etc. But also then see people living the lavish life. Or even just to the extent of being able to afford going on holiday, going to concerts, buying mad cool houses and cars. Eating at really cool resturants and doing these insanely fun activities. While I am just stuck here, living at home, working, only just managing to avoid homelessness.

Being a very small part of this economy I never asked to be part of, in this society that is so fucking weird. Run by freaky rich people who do everything to make sure balance is tipped to their advantage. But enjoy the little things like nature or a j with my friends or watching that new show that come out so much I am just sitting in silence like the rest of em knowing if I try to change something I will stopped in an instant. Maybe I just don't know the right causes to be fighting for but at this point everyone just seems to be just as selfish as the next feeding others a narrative they know people will give into just to soothe the underlying guilt of it all.

Like is life just like this... it gets fucking dark and then it's real hard to get out of it forever then suddenly it just falls the other way again. Like we are constantly just moving and changing and I am just not embracing every part of it like it is so hard for me to know my ethics idek what to do half the time so I just keep going like normal or else everything I have built on a foundation I don't really understand or want in the first place will crash and then I will be even worse off. It's like my survival is being held infront of me on a stick lol.

[staranatomy444]

Question yall, so you know how when you have memories and you are like oh yeah i remember that. What does it feel like to you when you try and think about history. Like when you see an old painting from the 18th Century how do you correlate it to life.

It is so mad to me that we have records of stuff like that. Like a bird literally just know what happens in its life span then it dies and maybe they pass that info on for a bit but like idk it must fade eventually like our history does.

Except i dont think birds are burning old records in spite of other birds...

Another thing does anyone know if like... we had to evolve to get better at comprehending history as actually taking place on this earth or... idk how to explain what i mean. Please help.

[staranatomy444]

I was lay in bed then realised, I am living the life of an offspring from 2 people that met one night in this modern era of civilisation. I am the consciousness born from romance and love materialised as a fleshy beast of bone and vertical symmetry.

[staranatomy444]

Sometimes I just want to cuddle up in a massive house at night with all the lights off all alone except for a singular cat that is very cuddly and friendly. That would make me feel happy right about now.

If I were to break this down I would say it means I want my needs fulfilled in many ways. One such being having a load of space and something to explore, darkness so that has a rather calming effect on me. A companion that is rather easy to handle but gives me what I want without me wanting more or them wanting more from me...

[staranatomy444]

Welcome to my blog, I will be writing about my thoughts on the world surrounding us and everyday life.

About me

I am 20M from the UK. I like Art, Psychology and being a free spirit with an open mind. I'm not too good at literacy; I prefer just letting my mind flow, speaking my mind, having expansive conversations and learning new perspectives.

Earth is a very big place but we are like sheep in a field. Our limited knowledge, the gate keeping us from leaving. Trapped in our minds with freedom all around us. I believe we are meant to find our own beauty and purpose in life. I also believe the deeper intelligence runs the more complex life becomes and we are just the continuation of the chemical reaction of all things. Intelligence breeds contradictions and horizons for a more intense life.