A snippet about the DBDA gang in a heatwave (which might eventually make it into something longer), because it's too damn hot today and I needed a distraction:
“How is your building both freezing cold in winter and hotter than Hell in summer?” Crystal moaned. “And don’t fucking tell me that Hell is actually cold, because if you do, I will end you. Especially as you’re sitting there in a suit. I feel like I’m melting just looking at you.”
Edwin closed his mouth. There was no point in reminding Crystal that ghosts did not perceive temperatures; he had learned through sometimes painful experience that she often complained merely to vent her grievances to the world rather than to seek clarification or comfort.
“Never really thought about it,” Charles said cheerfully. Unlike Edwin, he had made sartorial concessions to the heatwave: he was sporting a pair of shorts in place of his usual trousers, to which Edwin was attributing his inability to focus, along with a shirt emblazoned with a raucous floral pattern, to which Crystal was attributing her recent migraine. “Maybe that’s why the rent’s so low.”
“Pretty sure this is some kind of workplace health violation,” Crystal continued, holding up her iced coffee. “There are, like, no ice cubes left in this and I only got it a few minutes ago. It’s practically vaporised.”
“I thought ghosts made places feel cold?” Niko said from the sofa, where she was fanning herself with a case file. Of the two girls, she seemed to cope marginally better in the heat, but she still looked somewhat wilted, her hair drooping morosely in its two buns. “That’s what happens in books whenever the characters go somewhere haunted.”
“That is an exaggeration that applies only to a very few ghosts,” Edwin said primly. “Most of us are incapable of meteorological manipulation.”
“Ugh, the one time freaky ghost powers would come in useful and it’s something you can’t do,” Crystal groused. “Typical.”
Edwin hesitated, throwing half a glance at Charles.
“Well…” Charles said. “I used to be able to do it, just after I became a ghost. But not on purpose. And it was kind of…a bad thing.”
Crystal looked from Charles to Edwin and seemed to draw the correct conclusion. Sorry, she mouthed, as Charles waved his hand airily in a “don’t worry about it” sort of gesture.
“That has given me an idea, however,” Edwin said, keen to move the conversation along. “Though we cannot generate such effects of our own accord, I probably have a spell that could do the trick. Perhaps a wind spell, or an ice spell…”
Both girls had spoken at once, with identical expressions of trepidation. Edwin looked at them in surprise.
“Whyever not? You were only just complaining about the heat. Surely it would help, if I were to perform it in a contained way?”
“Yeah, the key word there is contained,” Crystal said. “Hasn’t exactly been your strong point, recently.”
Edwin bristled. “What do you mean?”
“Edwin, Charles is wearing shorts.”
“Charles is wearing shorts, and you keep looking at him wearing shorts – yes, you do, you’re not subtle – and I think even a person without psychic powers could tell what you’re thinking about when you do.”
“Speaking as one, we totally can,” Niko added.
Despite spectral immunity to temperature, Edwin felt his ears growing warm. “And?”
“And that means you’ve been banging, so there’s gonna be loads of excess spectral energy around, and every time that happens and you try a spell, something ends up exploding.”
Edwin sometimes regretted encouraging Crystal to weaponise her ample observational skills. “That’s not true!” He looked to Charles for support. “Is it?”
“Um, yeah, love, it kind of is,” Charles said apologetically. Were there nothing but traitors in his midst today? “Remember last week? You almost set your eyebrows on fire.”
“And the week before, when there was that thunderstorm…”
“All right, though I would caution you against confusing correlation with causation…”
“And that disaster down by the South Bank after we went to see that concert –”
“Stop looking at his knees, we can all see you doing it,” Crystal shrieked. “Seriously! I appreciate the offer, but I think I’m just gonna use my parents’ credit card and get us an AC unit. And I’m not setting foot in here again until it’s arrived. C’mon, Niko.”
Niko made a weak sound of protest. “Can’t get up. Too hot.”
Crystal turned to help her, holding out a hand. Both girls grimaced when their skin touched.
“Ugh, no more contact unless strictly necessary,” Crystal said, as Niko made a despairing noise. “Sorry, babe. It’s not you. Don’t forget your parasol.”
Privately, Edwin thought that Crystal was just jealous that he and Charles could maintain physical intimacy in a heatwave without suffering any negative effects, though he knew better than to say so. The girls trooped miserably downstairs, leaving the two of them in the office.
“Never knew you had such a thing for my knees,” Charles teased. Edwin swatted at him half-heartedly.
“As you well know, I have a ‘thing’ for the entirety of you. The knees are just its current manifestation.”
“Aww, I love it when you talk dirty to me. Why don’t you come here and manifest some more?”
For the second time in five minutes, Edwin flushed.
“You truly are incorrigible.”
“I love you,” Edwin corrected him. “Even the parts that are somewhat vexing.”
“Odd, you don’t look that vexed to me.” Charles drew him into a soft, lingering kiss, and for a moment Edwin forgot the weather entirely. “C’mon, let’s take off some of those layers and –”
In the corner, a lightbulb abruptly shattered.
“That wasn’t me,” Edwin said automatically.
Charles grinned, brushing a shard of glass from Edwin’s hair.
“You sure about that? Maybe Crystal’s got a point.”
“M’just saying, maybe that correlation’s finally…causation…ing.”
Edwin merely glowered at him, and went off to fetch the dustpan and brush.
areudirty
janainaart
2087
jacobvanloon
snowghoul
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