Stardusted Penguin @stardustedpenguin - Tumblr Blog

I can’t

What to Remember When You’re on a Zoom Call

There is a figure standing behind you. You can see it through your screen. Its hands are on your shoulders and it is speaking to you. Don’t turn around, Don’t acknowledge it. It doesn’t know you are watching.

Tie copper wire around your headphone cords. That will keep out the worst of the hymns. The rest of the chorus you will have to deal with yourself.

If Zoom does not close immediately when you exit, drape a cloth over your device to cover the screen. That will keep it from getting out.

Have a knife at the ready. You never know what manner of thing may try to interrupt your call.

Ward your device with blood or wine, a simple seal on your screen should do. There are always things lurking in the homes of others and you wouldn’t want them crawling through to your side.

Make sure your screen name is a lie. You don’t know what is watching, waiting for you to give it so freely.

Others may join; you don’t recognize them, you’ve never seen them before in your life. Their smile is wide with too many teeth and their eyes are bright and unblinking. Can they just say they are so excited to have been invited to this meeting. Would you mind if they shared something on their screen?

Do. Not. Let. Them.

Be wary of those who become disconnected and come back strange. Check the participants. You won’t find their name on the list.

You can try to remove them from the meeting but they will notice and their eyes will meet yours through the monitor. You may notice the lag before you cut out or you may not. Either way, you’ve been disconnected and there is something breathing on your neck.

cineastette

you will not believe the date i just had

physcicfuckface

I miss this meme

localtiktoks

spheregrid

This is my favorite tik tok of all time

ly0nheart1

The fact that the audio is so slightly slightly out of sync in places is sending me.

thefitzandthegeralds

@spiritspodcast

amateur

What’s happening on Twitter? 😂

amateur

xellette

Tumblr is 200% better then Twitter

xellette

It stacks

byelacey

more!!!

xellette

Twitter can’t get a dollar out of me but Tumblr’s winning just by being funny

xellette

It maxes out at 24 [12x], this is dumb and I love it

nicostiel

#this had to be done

seabassapologist

In light of today’s bird app news, I’m glad we can be an inspiration to those less fortunate than us. Godspeed

incorrectghostfiles

Ryan 'I'm a ghost hunter but I don't want to see them' Bergara

iwouldservehim

Ryan before he visits a place: I AM DO EXCITED FOR THIS I HOPE WE FIND SOMETHING

Ryan, once he steps into the building:

luntfontanne

$170K IN CAR LOANS??? wow ok rich people really are stupid as fuck i guess. literally like

memewhore

87437732156806533-deactivated20

I can feel The dryness of those markers in my bones

the-silent-screamer

Fun fact those dry markers were supposed to have water put into them to make them work. You take off the bottom thing and pour water in and bam, instant marker success. Only learned about this four years after I’d lost my set 🙃

bemusedlybespectacled

WHAT

a-girl-with-sparkling-lies

WHAT

bee-dot-exe

WHAT

maximumsunshine

Hey. Reblog to save some poor kid lots of grief.

no-lo-lo

Fucking what?!

tinydooms

Every ‘90s child on Tumblr raises their head in outrage.

justenoughlight

I just stood up so fast and snatched mine out of my closet brb going to the sink

justenoughlight

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

punsycore

WHAT

I STILL HAVE MY SET AND EVERYTHING

A GAME CHANGER

gameboy-berry

Yup!!

cogentranting

I think the key to celebrities who survive Tumblr is that they understand we’re not here to follow them, they’re here to hang out with us.

We’re here building a fort out of scraps of stuff we found in a dumpster and if Ryan Reynolds would like to sit down in the mud and contribute, he is welcome to. But the fort comes first. Neil Gaiman found an old couch cushion. Wil Wheaton has a cool rock. Sometimes Taylor Swift shows up to say how nice the fort looks. That’s the way of things.

gaisytheninth

I refuse to seek out Ryan Reynolds' Tumblr account. If it has any value it will find it's way into my dash naturally. This is how the Tumblr ecosystem is meant to work.