now that’s good television!

heather. 30s. tumblr elder from the destiel era. back on the hellsite for the horrible bisexual tv man

[lunamonchtuna]

so when are you gonna tell me that i’m the bane of your existence and the object of all your desires?

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[ludaprilgate]

[subaru-copilot]

looks inside procrastination -> it's anxiety -> looks inside anxiety -> it's fear -> looks inside fear -> it's shame

[teaboot]

Surely these circumstances will improve with additional shame

[dragon-png]

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

[bambitek]

vincents your whittman

[cineastette]

guys GUYS i am wheezing with laughter

i have been ✨ so worried ✨ about correctly and respectfully representing the asexual experience in this fic I’m working on, because I obviously wouldn’t know what that’s like as an allosexual

reader, i have just learned that there are some people who actually want to have sex with hot strangers and would be willing to do so if presented with the opportunity

i thought everyone was just exaggerating aesthetic attraction for the sake of comedy??? I thought we all secretly agreed that knowing something about the person was a necessary component to wanting to bone them????

apparently the banner of asexuality can include exactly what I’ve experienced my entire life, which, until a few days ago, i would have described as “just not being fucking stupid”

this is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to me 😂

[tomasstoopid]

Canon event of using a tablet/cellphone

[gumy-shark]

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

[vulpinesaint]

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

[yellow-cat]

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[sweatermuppet]

so pro-abortion i forget people try to get pregnant on purpose

[haughtyraban]

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

[cineastette]

not a day goes by that i don’t think about the way alastor’s eyes follow vox’s mouth during the don’t you forget reprise

like SIR, his eyes are very much in the top portion of his screen??? just say you wanna get chomped on, my guy

[probuccalfat]

do not ever slander the beautiful goddess carbs around me

[probuccalfat]

“empty carbs” don’t you dare talk about her like that. you’re empty. how do you like that.

[ravioliet]

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies