i kinda prefer spending all my time on tumblr instead of doing something really important. whenever im doing something i wish id be on tumblr instead of that
The Quidditch pitch had been a mistake from the moment the professors decided to combine Gryffindor and Slytherin for physical education.
Not a small mistake, either.
A catastrophic one.
The sort of decision future staff meetings would whisper about in horrified tones.
Madam Hooch stood in the centre of the field with her whistle hanging around her neck and the expression of a woman who had already accepted death.
“YOU ARE PLAYING A SIMPLE MUGGLE GAME,” she barked over the noise. “IT IS NOT A BLOOD SPORT.”
“Debatable!” James Potter yelled back immediately.
“Speak for yourself!” Barty Crouch Jr shouted.
“Rosier bit someone last lesson!” Mary Macdonald yelled helpfully.
“I said I was sorry,” Evan Rosier called, not sounding sorry in the slightest.
“You laughed while doing it,” Dorcas Meadowes said flatly.
Pandora Rosier was sitting cross-legged on the grass making flower chains out of ripped-up bits of green ribbon she’d stolen from somewhere.
“Violence is communication,” she said dreamily.
“NO IT ISN’T,” Madam Hooch snapped.
The entire field dissolved into yelling again.
Frank Longbottom was trying unsuccessfully to explain rules to Fabian and Gideon Prewett, which was impossible because the twins kept deliberately misunderstanding everything.
“So we’re allowed to tackle?” Fabian asked.
“No.”
“But emotionally?”
“Yes,” Frank admitted.
“Excellent.”
Peter Pettigrew was already hiding behind Remus Lupin like a man awaiting execution.
“I hate combined lessons,” Peter muttered.
“You hate all lessons,” Remus replied.
“Correct.”
Near the opposite side of the field, Regulus Black stood with his arms folded while Barty leaned dramatically against his shoulder like a Victorian widow.
“This game is idiotic,” Regulus said.
“Your team’s losing,” Sirius Black called instantly from across the pitch.
Regulus looked over slowly.
“Your face looks inbred.”
“Your whole family is inbred.”
“That’s literally your family too.”
Sirius opened his mouth.
Paused.
“...Fuck.”
James collapsed onto him laughing.
“That’s the fastest I’ve ever seen you lose an argument.”
“I panicked.”
“That was obvious.”
Lily Evans rubbed both hands down her face.
“This is why teachers drink.”
Alice Fortescue snorted loudly.
Marlene McKinnon was already taking this entire thing far too seriously, sleeves rolled up like she was preparing for war.
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