lenne

24 / she/they not pronounced like the pasta

[starrlova]

is this a safe space to talk about how merlin got me through the early days of sobriety

[starrlova]

I meant to update this on my 100th day but totally forgot. Anyways, 130 days sober, partly in thanks to my favorite tv show 💙

[starrlova]

I just reblogged another one of my posts about my sobriety but ANYWAYS happy 250 days to me yippee

[starrlova]

I can officially say that thanks in part to bbc Merlin I am 365 days sober <3

[starrlova]

This is definitely not the place for this but I just need it out there somewhere that I’m sober 17 days today!! I passed two weeks and didn’t even notice!! Very proud of myself :D

[starrlova]

Over five months sober now

[starrlova]

I hit 200 days on Friday

[starrlova]

8 months and change! Gonna go fucking crazy on here when I hit 12 months. Also happy belated 24th to me

[starrlova]

ONE YEAR SOBER FUCK YEAH

[mira-marbles]

"only shooting stars break the mold"

Wrong

Haxorus

[nevertheless-moving]

so when i was a kid a read this story where a boy gets turned into a mouse by evil witches. at the end (spoilers) him and his beloved grandmother manage to slaughter all the witches but they do NOT manage to turn him back to a human child. he stays a mouse. the grandmother rebuilds her home to be mouse accessible. and they discuss the fact that he's aging like a mouse, so he probably only has a few years to live; but it's ok, because the grandmother confesses that she ALSO only has a few years to live and they both agree that they wouldn't want to live without the other. So everything is alright then, and they're happy, and that's the end of the story. it's probably been over two decades since i read it and quite frankly i am still processing the intertwining concepts of love and mortality but anyway that's not my point. my point is that Rocky did not die of acute radiation sickness because he spent enough time shielded by astrophage that his body was able to handle the damage, but holy shit does he have every type of cancer. he didn't die entering grace's atmosphere but all of his organs caught fire. I repeat — his internal organs caught fire. he spent several decades in a low gravity environment. Do you know what human bodies do in low gravity? it's not good man. 20% muscle loss in two weeks. 1% bone density loss every month. Maybe carapaces and low organic matter would handle the change better, but idk, it might actually be worse.

anyway my point is, actually, i do think that Rocky and Grace would get to grow old together.

[starrlova]

Today has been eventful to say the least:

Made a C instead of an A in my favorite class this semester bc I kept putting off an essay (cried at work)

Had to tell my parents about said C (cried in the car)

Absolutely BOMBED an exam I thought I was prepared for (didn’t cry thankfully)

Had to go to the ER bc I fucking SHOCKED MYSELF on a broken light switch. Tests came back all clear but I did have a panic attack for the first time in a loooooong while (cried at the ER)

Getting a C isn’t the worst thing in the world to happen to me, but I’m also kinda super sleep deprived and very emotional bc of exams, so,,

[deervsheadlights]

[megamindsupremacy]

yall think Grace ever got zoochosis. I’m imagining him walking in circles counting exactly how many steps it takes to go around the entire perimeter of his Dome ten times over while staring into the middle distance. meanwhile Rocky is shaking Adrian’s shoulders (?) going Honey We Have To Add Enrichment To His Enclosure. Adrian His Squishy Human Brain Is Melting. Do We Have Any Space Middle Schoolers To Throw At Him.

[starrlova]

Why do people keep putting Laika and Felicette in the same boat? Laika’s trip was one way, yes, but Felicette made it back home. She was just put down so they could study her. I wouldn’t say Felicette is a patron saint of one way trips in the way that Laika is

[cfaa-crimson]

my sister (@starrlova) and i are so grace and rocky coded (her being grace, i being rocky) and i wanna make a list of the similarities to shove at her snrk

- she is very smart :3 not specifically in molecular biology, but she knows a lot about da ocean as well as dinosaurs and Pokemon. NERD.

- i'm very smart when you're in my ballparks/can understand wtf i'm saying. and i like to make stuff!!

- she's a LOSER /aff

- i definitely FEEL like an alien most of the time, for a variety of reasons

- not that she doesn't swear, but it's significantly less than i do. personal hc of mine that rocky swears like a fucking sailor, grace just has no idea snrk

- i relate to rocky in the sense that i feel very alone a lot of the time, especially before i met her. (grace rocky save stars)

- she relates to grace in the sense that she feels like she's a coward, but she's brave for me

- grace say grace will die. rocky fix. (sounds of weeping)

does anyone else just. love their siblings btw. sure, she isn't my sister by blood, but she's done so much for me in the, realistically, very short time we've known each other. just like rocky and grace if you think hard enough

[starrlova]

ilysm kiddo

[spaceblobs]

and james ortiz, who voices rocky purely because he just understands him so much. he was originally just supposed to be a puppeteer but he said in shooting that he never wanted ryan to feel like he was alone. and i just!! that is the core of who rocky is! someone who doesn’t want to be alone and who doesn’t want others to be alone. he understands him so well and truly i do not think rocky could have been played by anyone else. if you haven’t check out more of james ortiz’s work I HIGHLY recommend you do. he is incredibly talented and i cannot praise him enough!!

[cedardivine]

i think there is a statue of grace. on the campus of the university where he got his phd. it's a big base, like the statue atop it is going to be a larger than life hero standing brave. but instead it is him, life size, sitting with his feet dangling off the edge and turned slightly to the side like he is in conversation.

there is room to sit next to him. students like to hop up and sit next to dr. grace to get advice, vent, just take a minute. he's a friend to all on campus

[starrlova]

My copy of Artificial Condition comes in today IM SO EXCITEDDD

[alexxuun]

Fist my bump!

Wait until you hear about fist me…

[starrlova]

I haven’t seen PHM in a week and The Thoughts. They’re returning. I need hopecore again

[eighthdoctorscocaine]

favourite things from phmovie that were added in/well adapted:

'good luck' on a sticky note on ryland's coma suit

the use of the videolog as a way to convey the inner monologue to the screen

grace rocky save stars

the scene where they activate the IR view when ryland is doing the petrova line EVA collection at tau ceti and he's amongst the astrophage. god

just the entire execution of rocky and eridian language. PERFECT. that last scene where ryland doesn't need the translator? god

eva stratt double parked coffee

BLIP-A DESIGN. XENONITE DESIGN. ERIDIAN DESIGN. all impeccable.

'time to go fishing, question?'

the mental health screen room and rocky getting to experience bits of earth via it

the music while the hail mary and the blip a start spinning in sync. actually, just all of the music

ryland grace earth hackey sack packed on the hail mary, presumably on stratt's orders + ryland grace nerdy as fuck graphic tshirts packed on the hail mary, presumably on stratt's orders

implication that PHM sent a military jet to grover cleveland middle school to draw those 'save the world' pictures within 3 days so that they could send them with ryland on the hail mary. GOD.

nannybot -> armando. also ryland calling the ship 'mary'

not strictly within the movie but the tagline 'believe in the hail mary'. yeah.

yao and ilyukhina's collections of photographs and the way ryland cries over them when he does the space burial. they were his friends. he can't remember.

the scene where he's walking through the dark tunnel in the orange eva suit and it's like the inverse of the iconic 2001 space odyssey shot

he bikes to work and it's not for exercise

he vomits into a traffic cone after the supersonic jet ride

he runs from the baikonur facility and claws at the earth under his nails before getting sedated. one last look at the sky.

"WHOOMP THERE IT IS"

ryland grace in his classroom looking at the taped-up line running from venus to the sun that he's made to try to explain to his students what no one understands

ryan gosling's delivery of I showed you a clock and now youre showing me a clock <- THATS A NERD! THATS MY RYLAND GRACE!

"of course i'll watch you sleep, buddy. you gotta promise me you'll wake up though" just kill me now

grace getting to see the the blip-a! also, grace only remembering he didn't volunteer when he sees the light refracting off the blip-a.

rocky make door you close door

AND MOST OF ALL. they. made rockys handprint a scar on grace's arm. forever.

things I missed most from the book that weren't included in the movie

"I don't know if you can hear me. but i'm here, buddy, I'm on your hull!!" movie scene was good but grace clinging onto the blip-a thwacking a wrench into the hull in desperation while space is cold and grey and unrelenting in its darkness and silence around him and he doesnt know if rocky is dead. grace, question? you are here, question?

come resistance gene plotline. this is FOUNDATIONAL for my understanding of stratt to sending ryland. if she could she would have gone herself. any of the PHM biology techs could have feasibly gone in the movie-verse. but they can't. it's one in 7000 and their next option is a distillery worker from paraguay. ryland grace, microbiologist sentenced to marytrdom by his own genes.... its delicious

doomed climatologist of all time, francois leclerc. he runs the numbers and knows we have nineteen years. he snaps and tells stratt 'this isn’t some optional outcome.' he nukes antarctica and cries. he has no choice

the fact that in the book grace is forced to work on analysing the probe samples and getting roped into PHM. in the movie he says 'I want to help earth if I can!' in that scene w the earth beanbag... its imperative to me that he literally never asked to do any of this at all

"how have you been lately" "dr shapiro and I have begun a sexual relationship"

steve, creator of the beetles

"do not fuck up my house, roscosmos bastards" ilyukhina line you are sorely missed

dmitri and grace bonding over puns and spin drives

'you are a fundamentally good man, dr grace.' 'you're murdering me.'

"why did the kiwi government think you were embezzling millions of dollars" "probably because I was embezzling millions of dollars"

dr lokken and dr grace's panspermia feud

the emotional whiplash of "Sorry, Rocky" after grace realises he can only go back to the blip-a OR earth to “I know you’d love a beetle to take apart, but I couldn’t spare one.”

the desperation of circling the petrovascope to locate the blip-a in increasing 5* slants not knowing if he's going to find anything.

meburgers

[spyfalls]

his girly scream is everything

[finzerr]

“shhhh dw” i say as i infect you with my aroace grace propaganda

and rocky disguised by all human romance things. i think kissing would be terrifying to him.