[frawgs]

imagine being someones dream girl . i almost blacked out thinking abt it

[jayywesst]

customers wanna be right soooo bad. like damn go clock in since u know so much

[honigimohr]

trust your mother’s opinion on people

[cloudbeam]

um. she married my dad

[prometheus-adam]

what we should be wearing: a horrific mashup of victorian gothic and 80s clothes

[ariadnie]

uptown rat…i’ve been livin in linguini’s hat…

[trulyamood]

[mixolydia]

multiple ear piercings is the only answer

[inahiddenplace]

i am an idiot sometimes but sometimes i am an idiot to be funny you know? for the joke. and i want people to know the difference. sometimes my actions are purposeful. sometimes i think. i want you to know that. even when i am just being a regular idiot i choose to say things knowing i am an idiot. i am the chooser of my own fate. i am the god of my own reality.

[alienpapacy]

me: *has a puny human emotion*

blue whale: you are like a little baby. feel this

blue whale: *telepathically shares it’s emotions with me and I fucking explode*

[manifest-luxe]

literally everyone: the front bottoms sound so bad

me: damn you’re right alexa play twin size mattress

[hourgloss]

can netflix make an interactive episode of friends where i have the option to kill ross geller

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

ill be sappy whenever i want. i dont give a shit. i love you. fuck off

[puncromancer]

first dude to invent drums was just like super pissed one day and fucked up punching something and everyone was just like oh shit this fucking slaps 

[softwaring]

[rosecrystal]

when margaret atwood said “the desire to be loved is the last illusion. give it up and you will be free”

[shroomdraws]

I guess the books you read for high school do come in handy

[hustlerose]

sometimes u should accept an apology and sometimes u gotta say “rot bitch”