this is my side blog

[stimman3000]

listen i’m just gonna say it. the way some of yall act towards pre-hrt trans people is really abhorrent. we’re always either a bad joke or we’re somehow not trans enough or we’d already be on hrt. there are a multitude of reasons trans people may not be on hrt and sometimes it’s just straight up out of their control. the perfectly “passing” trans people who’ve been physically transitioning for years that are considered the face of the trans community were like us once too & if you look up to them but mock pre hrt or “non-passing” trans people you really need to take a long hard look at yourself

[theforesteldritch]

Yes being intersex isn’t even that rare but we also can’t let the struggle for intersex rights be founded on how many of us there are. Being relatively common as a whole isn’t why intersex rights matter and while I appreciate trying to dispel the myth about how supposedly stupidly rare we are (again as a whole, some intersex conditions themselves are actually pretty rare), I don’t like the implication I sometimes get from that that we can convince people we matter because there are so many of us. We’d matter and have the right to bodily autonomy, acceptance, support and really just basic human rights whether there are 10 of us or 10 hundred million of us. A world with just one intersex person would still be a world where intersex rights and advocacy are needed.

[thisismajortomtogaycontrol-deac]

Hi I’ve invented a new term it’s called ‘people are mean to me because I’m trans masc’

It’s a term for talking about how people are mean to me because I’m trans masc.

It’s about how people treat me as less than a cis man and less than a cis woman because I am neither.

It’s about how some people are misogynistic twords me and some people are transphobic and some people are both.

It’s about how I get treated badly because I am choosing to be a man in a world that wants me to be a woman.

It’s about how I get treated by some people as dangerous because I have he/him pronouns because ‘men are inherently violent’ and how I am also treated as a stupid child who doesn’t understand myself enough to know what I want to do with my body because of misogyny.

It’s about how I’ve been threatened with forced impregnation and pregnancy.

It’s about how I have a hard time accessing healthcare.

Oh- what’s that? You don’t think I should talk about those things? You don’t think I should because my term is talking over women? You think that I’m trying to steal things from women because I’m a man and that’s what men do? You think that I don’t really experience these things all the time because men don’t experience misogyny? You think I should make a new term? Ah. I see. My bad.

Hi! I’ve invented a new term it’s called ‘people are mean to me because I’m trans masc-

[hyperlexichypatia]

You have got to stop referring to video games, fiction, drawings, etc. as "CSAM."

This defeats the entire purpose of the term "CSAM" (child sexual abuse material) which is that it's material of a child being sexually abused. The term was coined by anti-CSAM advocates because this material was being called "child porn," and it's not "porn." "Porn" generally refers to fiction, and CSAM is not fiction. It's real footage of real children being really abused.

"CSAM" is to "child abuse" as "snuff film" is to "murder." It is real filmed violence against a real human person. Games/drawings/fiction depiction child abuse as a plot point in a work of fiction are to child abuse as, e.g., murder mysteries are to murder. It's a fictional story in a fictional medium. No real human people are harmed in its production. You can argue -- and many people do -- about whether the fictional depiction "sends a bad message" or whatever, but it is not, literally, a snuff film or CSAM.

Referring to fiction as "CSAM" not only needlessly gives cover to moral panic and censorship; it also completely dilutes the harm of CSAM. The harm of CSAM is not that it's morally bad media that sends a bad message. The harm is that real human people are abused in its production.

[swordbeliever]

tried to vent in a trans space about how, as a trans man who’s been on T for a long time (over 7 years now), i have noticed that the more i pass as a man, the less welcomed i am in queer spaces unless i go out of my way to feminize myself. and how that sucks! and it’s isolating!!! and it feels horrible to see ppl who used to like you and be close to you drift further and further the more masculine (& therefore more comfortable in urself) u become…

only to get ppl replying to me and saying “well if you dressed more fem then ppl wouldn’t be intimidated by you. you signed up for this”

i’m sorry but i didnt sign up for social isolation when i transitioned, i signed up for gender euphoria and comfort in myself and my life. and i had hoped that the ppl in my life would be able to see how much joy that brings me and continue to love me.

[apollosfallen]

The argument of "trans men have privilege when they pass" is also so asinine because privilege isn't just "other men treating you nicer" it's getting unbiased and unrestricted medical attention, it's lower or no statistics of corrective sexual assault or impregnation, it's not having actual laws passed against your existence, it's not having to worry about passing in the first place, it's having historical figures retain their identity and not erased in some girl power misgendering bs, it's having your identity celebrated instead of treated like a loss of something pure.

If you think male privilege is just being treated like "one of the guys" in day to day life, you need to relearn a lot of things about privilege before you try to have these conversations.

[velvetvexations]

It's also worth pointing out how a lot of times being treated like "one of the guys" means being told things that will make transmascs, or any queer person AMAB currently passing as a cishet man for that matter, suddenly realize that they're profoundly unsafe and keeping their secret is now the only thing keeping them from being potentially raped and/or killed.

[bi-kisses]

Yeah maybe the joy you feel while cross dressing is gender related, or maybe you like clothes that are stereotyped as the exclusive property of the opposite sex and haven't had a chance to explore that before now.

Yeah maybe the joy you feel when people use different pronouns for you than normal is gender related, or maybe it's a sign that you can create recognizable change in your life that helps you reclaim feelings of control.

Yeah maybe the discomfort you feel with your body is gender related, or maybe you have deeper-seated issues regarding body image.

Yeah maybe wanting to get rid of your breasts is gender related, but maybe your breasts are generally a nuisance and you would be perfectly happy living as a woman still with a flat chest.

Sometimes, things that make people trans aren't universal. They're completely valid experiences, they can absolutely be indicators of being trans, but they aren't necessarily and you shouldn't shove yourself into a box that you don't fit into when other explanations might fit you better.

You will not find lasting happiness in transition if you are not trans.

[templepriest-motherfucker]

Say it with me folks:

“Eat the rich” means 1%ers and billionaires

middle class is closer to poverty than being a multimillionaire

“The rich” does NOT include children of billionaires (come on we’re at least slightly better than the plagues of Egypt)

Upper middle class children SHOULD NOT feel guilt over having money

Being aware of privilege and using your privilege to help others IS NOT a guilt trip

Constantly feeling guilty helps no one

Billionaires, however, should feel guilty over hoarding wealth.

Upper middle class is NOT rich

Black Lives Matter

Trans rights are human rights

[kelila-rivka]

My uncle was one of the top surgeons in the country. He was upper middle class definitely. When he got cancer, his insurance didn’t cover all the treatments he would need and after 5 years he drained his savings on cancer treatments (while still working most of that time) and eventually died because he couldn’t afford the expensive treatments that might have saved him.

If you are upper middle class and you get sick, it will likely bankrupt your family. It’s fucked.

[olddukeofficial]

For all of the idiots in the notes ^

[dancinbutterfly]

Honest to god - even if you make 6 figures a year? you're closer to poverty than true wealth. Check your shit and remember who your real allies and enemies are guys.

[uvradical]

A 6 figure income is a lot right? That’s say: 223,000 dollars a year Which is 112 dollars an hour. Most people would consider that upper middle class. That’s enough money to have a nice house, go on fun vacations. That’s slight more than the average doctor makes.

223,000 dollars is what Jeff Bezo makes in a minute

the well-off and the rich are not the same. 

[simonalkenmayer]

There was a wonderful study done about 15 years ago I think, that shows that people cannot accurately identify their income bracket. Most people who own a home think they are upper middle class when in fact they are closer to the poverty line. Even people living well below poverty often identify as middle class. The wealth gap is even worse now. I wonder if anyone actually knows their financial standing.

[dashaibo]

At the same time you need to understand that the 1% will have the means to flee your revolution or get cozy with the new party leaders, so the rich that will actually get eaten will be everyone starting from the upper lower class and up.

Because that's what happened during every communist revolution in history.

[tlirsgender]

We need lefties with actual meaningfully progressive ideologies because y'all were way too fucking quiet about it when they restricted porn access in red states & now they're trying to extend it to the rest of the u.s & like, obvious implications for queer & especially trans & Especially tma people. And also, yknow, oppressing sexuality in itself is already a bad thing and this will just make it less safe for everyone, like how in-person sex work is treated, because making porn is sex work, and sex workers should have rights and stuff,

[tlirsgender]

Idgaf if you think porn is icky you do not under any circumstances have to hand it to fascists. Sex isn't evil. Porn addiction isn't real. Looking at boobs won't melt your brain. Women and queer people will be the most impacted by this. They're not fucking protecting the children, they include basic sex ed in their view of obscenity, because it's about power and control. Did I mention sex workers are people who deserve rights & legal protection & yknow, income from their job. I'm going to kill every protestant with a hammer

Sigh. Really they're also remarkably bad at enforcing these policies (I live in a red state and noticed, like, two websites being blocked. Lmao) but can we please think about why this is bad at least

[pawberri]

One weird experience of transitioning is failing at ur assigned gender role the whole time and everyone constantly deriding you for it but then u come out and it's like we lost a beautiful gender conforming warrior today. Must grieve for my wonderful child who pissed me off by being ugly and weird since day 1

[pawberri]

I deleted this post on impulse at like 10 notes and apparently it has 15k that's crazy

[pawberri]

A lot of people are discussing how they were always punished for being gender non-conforming, which is definitely a part of this and Relatable. But the thing that always interests me more is how I was punished for trying to conform to my assigned gender too. Like at least when they punish me for nonconformity, it's internally consistent. There's a message that if you conform, you will earn their approval. But I tried hard at times in my life to be feminine, to do what I was supposed to do, and people were always either disappointed or disgusted. I always remember the times when I agreed to wear the dress and do the girl stuff, and everyone just seemed uncomfortable and disappointed. Sometimes, I was even reprimanded for it. No one liked it, no one benefited from it. The transness did not go away. It could not be masked. Yet when I transitioned they suddenly missed that derided feminine thing that they always definitely loved the whole time

Like there's just no winning when this is the system. The issue isn't anything except the transness inherent to you. At least when ur like me and can't seem to Pass as your assigned gender

[ysolt]

i dont know who needs to hear this but as a general PSA for those who pay people online for goods and services: KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE BUYING. While it might seem funny to write a clever note along with your transaction, any sort of hint that you're buying something nsfw or even mildly suggestive poses a huge risk that the person you're paying is getting their method of payment shut down permanently. transaction services are stricter than ever. "thanks for the boobs" is a pipe bomb that only needs one pair of eyes to be noticed. loose lips sink ships

[queerpeers]

part of being an ally to trans men is not being a dick to cis men for their appearance btw

[queerpeers]

the short trans men hear you. the trans men with bottom growth—or who are post-phalloplasty—hear your bad jokes about small dicks. the trans men undergoing hrt who are losing their hair hear you talk shit about bald spots.

[arieswizard]

say it with me everyone: shaming ppl for their bodies is still body shaming and is still wrong no matter who or why

[goqmir]

sometimes i see cis people say "trans people will understand if you misgender them at first. i call my nephew 'her' all the time and he knows i don't mean it" no he doesnt. he probably never hangs out with you for more than ten minutes because that's how long you can last in a conversation before making him feel like shit. also he thinks you're, best case scenario, stupid for not being able to figure it out, or worst case scenario, uncaring about him and his needs. he doesn't like spending time with you. you're deluding yourself into thinking you're far kinder than you are. you're weird man.

[goqmir]

a common thing that people tag this post with goes something to the tune of:

"its fine if you dont get it perfect at first so long as youre trying :) but yeah its very obvious when people arent putting any effort in lol"

and like. i promise you do not have to play devil's advocate for cis people on this post yall. you don't have to offer leeway to the person being cruel to you. not only that, but people that misgender you ever will take a mile if you give them an inch.

cis people hear "its fine if you misgender me at first" and think of "at first" as five years or more. i'm not joking. they do this for a variety of reasons, but most significantly because cis people never stop thinking of you as "transitioning" even if you would consider yourself "transitioned".

cis people will also consider themselves adequately "trying" no matter what they actually do. this is due to a variety of reasons, but most significantly because they believe misgendering is what transphobes do, and they aren't a transphobe-- look, they haven't kicked you out of the house, have they?

there's a common line of thought, especially among white people, that there are two kinds of people-- racists and non-racists; transphobes and non-transphobes; misogynists and non-misogynists-- and they are the non-racist, non-transphobic, etc kind. that's not really how it works. how it actually works in real life is that anyone can do transphobic actions, no matter the ephemeral trasphobe/non-transphobe dichotomy they believe themselves to be in, and it's up to that person alone to correct their transphobic action. cis people often put themselves in the non-transphobe box, which they believe washes their hands of guilt-- they believe what they do cannot be transphobia, because they are not a transphobe.

cis people who believe this, and i promise you it's a lot of them, are in their minds perpetually "trying" to not misgender you, to make you comfortable, even if they've never once done so. so when you tell a cis person that misgenders you that it's okay to do it at first, and that it's okay as long as they're trying, they'll never ever stop misgendering you. because to them it's still "at first", and to them, they're always "trying", even if neither thing is remotely true. cede no ground to misgendering and deadnaming, outing and transphobia, even when it 'only' harms you emotionally and not physically. it's never worth it.

[type-1-diabreadstick]

So many people who claim to care about trans issues will see conservative transphobes rave about "cutting off healthy breast tissue" and "girls mutilating themselves," rage or clown on male pregnancy, constantly share post-op photos of top surgery scars and phallo skin grafts to illicit outrage, transvestigate male celebrities to "prove he's secretly a woman"--and then turn around and declare that the Right forgets that trans men and mascs exist. I'm so tired of it.

[spacelazarwolf]

had to highlight this reply bc so many people don’t realize that there are a lot of things that conservatives don’t even need to ban us from bc we were not allowed access to those things in the first place, either like literally legally not allowed or are de facto barred access.

this is a really great example because any trans person who’s on testosterone is going to be banned according to the rules and any trans person who hasn’t gone on t is going to be de facto banned because they wouldn’t let a “woman” participate in men’s sports. we are damned if we do damned if we don’t.

[theseventeensteps]

obsessed with how fixable society is, on a structural level.

obsessed with how all you need to do is throw money at public education and eliminate most standardized testing and you will start getting smarter, more engaged, kinder adults. obsessed with how giving people safe housing, reliable access to good food, and decent wages dramatically reduces drug overdoses and gun violence. obsessed with how much people actually want to get together and fix infrastructure, invent new ways of helping each other, and create global ways of living sustainably once you give them livable pay to do so. obsessed with how tracking diseases, developing medicines, and improving public health becomes so much easier when you just make healthcare free at point of use.

obsessed with how easy it all becomes, if we can just figure out how to wrench the wealth out of the hands of the hoarders.

[theseventeensteps]

i've lived in four different cities in my adult life and talked to literally tens of thousands of people about politics and the change they want to see in the world and the overwhelming majority of them wanted life to be better, happier, easier for everyone, and dreamed of that world. the only people who didn't think that way were A) really obviously in need of mental/medical care, or B) rich.

wanting universal free healthcare, well-funded public education, and social support for all people is the most unbelievably normie opinion that exists, even among people who have lots of bad or misguided opinions about other things. when you feel alone, know that the reason you feel that way is billions of dollars are being spent to obscure the fact that you are in the majority.

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

I think we should call out women's misogyny more often. My mom was the most misogynistic person I had ever encountered growing up. At herself, at other people. like she's better now, but woman left me some deep scars.

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

"but women need protecting from men! bear in the woods etc" no I will BITE YOU. I'm biting you so hard right now. I'm femininely beating your ass. I don't need "protecting" from men. i'm not a child. Or a dog or something, I'm a grown ass biting you machine. The amount of women who just said stuff like that still makes me sick.

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

See, this is also bad actually. The whole concept is flawed. Instead of seeing a random man and treating him as an individual who makes his own decisions, It's a biased assumption that says "this guy is a man, and there for I am unable to trust him to act good." instead of biessentialism, you just switched it out for gender essentialism. It was flawed concept to begin with. It's still terf ideology. It's based on the misogynistic idea that women are weaker and should be weary of strange men, that women are safer with other women. It makes it easier for women to be abused and abuse other people. These ideas at their very core are bunk. If you are in the woods and you would rather meet a bear than a strange man, seeing him as more of a threat instead of a positional ally, you are the problem. Mainly, okay, you're saying a human man is more dangerous than a wild animal. Are we not seeing this? we're saying that a black bear, or idk polar bear, a bear that has and will eat humans, is better than some guy. it's.. are we not seeing this

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

That hypothetical always baffled me because I run into strange men all the time. It's called living in a society. Bears are terrifying; if there were bears walking around my town as frequently as strange men I would never leave the house. "I'd be more scared of running into a strange man alone than running into a bear alone" oh so you don't ever go shopping? You don't ever go for a walk around the block? You don't ever get on a bus early in the morning when there's no other passengers yet? There's strange men there. If you say you'd be more scared of a strange man than a bear, and you walk your dog in the morning, then either you're way too chill about bears (maybe you're only thinking about those lil black bears that get into bins?) or you are fucking lying. Men are literally just people and if I ran into one while hiking or something then that would in no way be any kind of crisis. He's probably also hiking. Men are allowed to exist in public, they're not some imposition.

[penrosesun]

Also EXTREMELY unfriendly reminder that the whole man vs. bear thing was also inherently very twisted up in the purity culture idea that rape is “a fate worse than death” (ie. that rape survivors are “tainted” and that it would have been better if they had simply been killed). It may be true that one of the arguments people were making on that post was “bears will often ignore you and mind their own business,” but the original argument was “the worst thing a bear can do is kill you,” which is far and away more indefensible than that. MANY sexual assault survivors have explicitly stated that man vs. bear and memes like it are a major part of the rape culture which continues to traumatize them even after the fact, and it’s absolutely wild that people are still defending it given that. We do not owe a post that treats survivors like they’re worth less as people a good faith discussion on the merits. I literally do not care if you can stand on your head and find a useful nugget in the man vs. bear post – I don’t debate that sort of garbage; I burn it.

[antiprolife]

If your argument against abortion has anything to do with making people “face the consequences” of having sex and using pregnancy as a punishment, you are wrong and you are an asshole.