Starztheonly

09 trying to be better after not trying for toooo long

[starsdailyjournal]

Body mods/style stuff that's SUPER HOT

Not in order

Number 1 my vampire bite tattoo that's just two big dots on my collar bone area

Number 2 specifically spiked mohawks on super punk guys OMFGGGG GET OVER HERE

Number 3 collar bone piercings (need)

Number 4 corset piercings SO SO SOS SOS SO COOL

Number 5 long hair on guys is always just amazing n I mean LONG

Number 6 Spikes on clothes, jewelry, designs ANYTHING I loveeee spikes

Number 7 Vampire shit, ghost shit, zombie shit and halloween like jackolantern type shit is always FIREEE

Number 8 Obviously DiY or obviously old and tattered clothes r amazing!!

Number 9 Unnatural color dyed hair always is so hot (red spiked mohawks r something my dream man got)

Number 10 A SHIT TON of accessories and I mean A LOT not just 3 bracelets or sum

Number 11 Nipple piercings idk why it's just so cool

Number 12 Lots of colors or lots of pattens

Number 13 Overall just being unique and different is awesome

Number 14 LAYERS

[starsdailyjournal]

Also hmu on here pro yk what gals but not no where else bc my dad can see the shit on my phone but trussssst I'll be giving that meanspo n what nots (lets make thinspo pintrest boards)

[starsdailyjournal]

ALSO I vaped for the first time recently and OH MY GOD IT TASTES SO GOOD WTF

WDYM 0 CALORIES??

As soon as I can I will reduce my diet to vapes, mcdonalds fries and green apples ty

[starsdailyjournal]

Guys today I wrote down all the things I could do to cope with how horrible life is.

Die

Drugs

Starve

Stop trying

I did this in first period and I'll post the pros and cons of each at the end of tmmr!!!

[starsdailyjournal]

Guys why is there SO MUCH FUCKING PORN ON MY DASHBOARD I WANT TO SEE SKINNY GIRLS STOP.

[starsdailyjournal]

eating a lil lollipop while being a manic pixie dream girl this is the life!!!

[starsdailyjournal]

Star's 1st day!

So today I went to school, the ush, and when I go there I didn't see my friend Lily. We're like super close even tho we only started talking this school year because we went to the same middle school and were now on the same bus. I always thought she was was cool and funny but she was never in any of my classes but now that shes on my bus we hang out a lot. We mostly hang out while waiting for school to start infront of the school and after school while we wait for the bus and on the bus. But outside of that when she has something to smoke we walk to the forest near our house and sit by the creek and smoke till we can't anymore. She's super cool and nice but she has diving first period which is at another school so she's barely ever there in the mornings and I just sit with my other friend who leaves for orchestra 30 mins before my first class so I basically just spend the morning akward and alone in the crowd. Sadly (and thankfully) lily got a concussion so she can't go to diving for a while.

Turns out she was just late and we chatted for a bit and I told her how this guy I liked last year forgot about me and she laughed at me which was kinda mean and made me sad because I would never do that to her. And I told her how I felt sad abt not being able to talk to him before and idk it just sucked but I didn't say nun.

Lily and me don't have any classes together so after walking with her friends that I don't know to my first period I just did my work. I like math so I'm glad it's my first period but this cute guy sits next to me and I looked rlly bad today so I wanted to cry but not that much.

It just sucks that I have to let people see my disgusting appearance everyday even though I don't want to yk?

That guy didn't say anything to me bc we arent friends but whenever he does I don't even say words back I just nod my head or sumthing. It's bc my voice is a bit fucked up from smoking since 6th grade so I have to cough before I start talking which is an inconvinience I have made an instinct to ignore. In my next class I studied for my oral spanish test since theatre tech doesn't matter. In my 3rd period class I talked to my friend but I kept talking and I think she was getting rlly annoyed at me so I stopped. I still have to finish the notes for that class. I had lunch after that and it smelled so good I wanted to cry because I felt so fat for enjoying the smell of the food (today was a very crying mood). Me and my friend from 3rd period watched gravity falls till lunch ended and then we walked to english. I went to english and hated every second of it despite it being one of my highest grades. after that I went to the PSAT dry run and started a practice test that I was doing kinda good in. After that I went to biology and took the test and got a 100. after that I went to spanish and took the oral exam and I got paired with the cute guy from my first period. My heart was lowkey racing bc I didn't wanna fail but also bc his voice is soooo fine too.

After that I went to my last period class and prayed lily got her cart so we could get baked but she didn't. I walked to the front of the school with lily and her friends, behind them while they were talking to her. I followed lily around and talked to her and her friends till the bus came

ALSO there was a fight and me and lily didn't see it but we say the guys getting caught and one of them had a shit ton of blood running down his neck!! And we saw a video and it was two edgars fighting AND AT ONE POINT THE OTHER EDGAR GOT ONTOP OF THE ONE WHO WAS BLOODY AT THE END AND BC HE WAS SAGGING HIS BOXERS WERE ON FULLLL DISPLAY LEMME TELL YA.

On the bus me and lily watched insta reels and I asked her if she wanted to go to the creek without smoking n she said no.

I'm sad that kaiden didn't remember me, he was the last person I knew was interested in me and now I aint even got that goin for me. Maybe I just got ugly over summer or sum which would make sense bc I gained some weight but I'm only eating like 300 calories a day now so hopefully I lose it soon. I hope I'm pretty by my birthday.

[starsdailyjournal]

Restarting the daily journal/blog

Hey yalll so since I got nun to do after school I've decided to start this blog/journal up again!! But more for like fun than trying to recover n stuff bc I've decided thats way too hard and I really can't do it rn.

This blog/journal isn't pro anything or like propaganda yk it's just me documenting my life atp and I wanna have something to do after school.

Don't got no friends to talk to or hang out with so might as well do this instead, if yall got any reccomendations of stuff to do pls tell me!! I just don't wanna interact with ppl or work towards a goal (No video games or roblox.) if yall got websites like tumblr u think I'll like pls tell me!

Im gonna just call it star's __ day now but I'll tell yall every detail because aint no one gonna read my blogs or care so idc. Sorry if I sound like retarded rn I'm rlly sleepy and hungry and nauseous rn.

Anyway I hope yall like the comeback and rebrand!!

P.S if my format looks ugly I'm sorry bc my laptop is kinda edited in a way that makes it hard to change fonts n colors

[st4rv1ng-4ngel]

!!TW:ĘD!!

You can't just eat everything you want and expect to be thinner...

You have to give Ana your time and sacrifice something and ONLY THEN she might HELP YOU

[starsdailyjournal]

Journaling for my mental health as an epic scene girl (not clickbait) Day 3!

Yall before I start todays story I wanna tell yall its 11:14 pm and I just drank a cup of tea, with my floral pj set in an alovera face mask while scrolling edsf so lifes going great. ANYWAY so today I ate sm peanut butter ice cream (it was so good!!!) but my fast has started again and im 6 hours in im think abt just making it last the entire month since I need to lose 26 pounds before school starts in august... ALSO i was working on a schedule but ive decided idgaf abt no schedule so imma wake up when I want n sleep when I want as long as I can keep up my fast

[starsdailyjournal]

Journaling for my mental health as an epic scene girl (not clickbait) Day 2! I DRANK TEA AND WATCHED THE SUNRISE (real ones know)

OMG YALL WILL NOT BELIEVE IT THIS MORNING I WAS MAKING TEA BC I BARELY SLEPT LAST NIGHT. USUALLY I GAG FROM DRINKING A SIP OF TEA BUT TODAYYYYY WAS DIFFERENT BECAUSE I ADDED HALF A LIMES WORTH OF LIME JUICE (10 cals) AND IT ACTUALLY TASTED PLEASANT??? AND IT WAS SUPER EARLY BC I WAKE UP SUPER EARLY SO I WATCHED THE SUN RISE ON THE COUCH AND AS I STIRRED MY TEA WITH A LITTLE SPOON IN MY CUTE FLORAL BLACK PJ SET!!! IT WAS LOWK SO YUMMY!!!!!!!!! AND I WILL BE MAKING IT AGAIN TMMR (30 mins it turns tmmr yk midnight) also before all this I saw the SEXIEST vid abt sum fictional character!! Anyway I spent the wholeee day studying (3 hours out of 4 attempted) and SCAMMING i got sm good stuff I loveeee scamming in rh and adopt me!! So today was pretty chillll (besides having to evade ice cream with my dad) BUT just now I was scamming this girl for her cow and when I joined her in adopt me to TAKE her cow WE BOTH LEARNED THAT HER TRADING BROKE SO LIKE SHE COULDNT TRADE AT ALLLLL (we think its bc she got hacked). AND bc I been having such a good dayyyyy I decided to tell her I was finna scam her BUT also give her 150k rh dim FOR FREEE n she was sososo happy and she agreed to help me make fake proofs!!! Anyway I am sad tonight though becauseeeee I'm going to have to get ice cream tmmr with my dad and sister BREAKING MY FAST sobz which is likee only 24 hrs rn but IT WAS SUPPOSED TO LAST THE WHOLE WEEK but wtv yall I can come back from that frfr. OMG AND ALSO TODAY I PULLED ON MY HEALING STICK AND POKE (previousl mentioned) AND IT HURT SMMM. Anyway!! bye batssstst I hope yall liked todays lil blog!!!!! (journal thing)

[starsdailyjournal]

Journaling for my mental health as an epic scene girl (not clickbait) Day 1!

Today (sunday) I woke up at like 12:44 am or pm idkkkk but it was when the sun was up and like my dad had asked me to call him and since I have like ptsd I tweaked out but I brushed my teeth first because like I'm trying to get myself into the routine of doing that now. Anyway I called him and he just wanted me to like make my sister breakfast and put the food we made in the fridge but like he rlly freaked me out by just texting me "Call me when you wake up.". And he said he was getting us pizza which is now one of my least favorite things to hear from him (because of the c-a-l-o-r-i-e-s and because I'm really bad at expressing grattitude to him since we are sorta close (he is my bio dad I've known him all my life its complicated). But anyway I made my lil sister (10 yr old nerd) an awesome omelet with mozerela and sausage slices AND a cheese crust idk how to explain it basically I put cheese in a pan after I made the omelet and when it was still melty and not hard I put the omelet I already made on it and the I folded the whole thing when the cheese was cooked!! I bet it was yummy idk tho but anyway after that I scammed someone on adopt me (l-o-l) for like an fr panda, r sloth and nfr or nr hydra they got 20k rh diamonds tho soooo yk its fine!!! I was gonna scam sum more but like I got stuck trying to figure out how to use razer cortex (because royale high is so laggy on this dumb laptop) and I was stuck on that for hours legit untile dinner!! but while I was stuck on that my dad came home and gave me some chocolate which was nice but it also sucked because I CANT express grattitude its rlly hard for me bc I'm too grateful that I feel like if I tried to put into words the gratuity I feel I would spaz. BUT anyway I haven't eaten the chcolate yet (also its dark chocolate and if u dont fw dark chcolate ur ai generated) but I did eat 2 slices of this rlly oily garlic pizza for dinner just now! it was gross and I lowk cant stand that it's in my system (iykyk) but I can't do nun abt it BUT I am starting my fast rn and it should last this whole week!! So that'll make up for this but erm IDK ahhahahaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't like talking abt eating but this is an honest journal... Should I add TWs?? Bc I rlly dont wanna I be sleepy at night which is when I'll be typing these out. Omgeee also like I've wanted to go back to being quarantine level chronically online 4ever now bc I love doing that in the summer but my dad has parental controls on all my stuff (including this laptop) so I cant go on disboard n stuff to find online friends to give me entertainment n stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!! but I FOUND A WAY YALL!! I'm just gonna be ROBLOX chronically online tho I am a robloxian already (since 2018) I want to be one of those ppl who are always on it yk (thats why I was scamming today n trynna unlag royale high) SOOO when I'm not studying I'm gonna be scamming and trading in royale high and adopt me!!! Maybe I'll try n make sum friends but rn I'm focused on the games I'm already planning on getting my dp from starpets n I have a decent halo + ltbs on rh n all my dream stuff besides 1 set n 2 accesories!! so like I'm prettyyy good but I wanna get REALLY good like those ppl who have 5 owls and 8 parrots lolz! And I literally love roblox and everyone who plays it (besides anyone with brainrot humor ironic or unironic idc) everyone else are so cool!!! So like yea and I have 30 dollars that I'm prob gonna use on robux I might try n get headless bc my mom pays me to do computer science courses and my dad pays me half of whatever my mom pays me!! Honestly I feel like journaling is sm fun rn i love talking but nobody ever listens screaming into the cyber void is so fun!!! Also I'm gonna likeeeee eat my chocolate after I shower rn probs and then my fast starts!!! ALSO omg halloween is coming up!! I'm def gonna be a vampire! If anyone enjoyed my journal tell me what your gonna be for halloween!! Omg if my journal/blog gets big I would call the ppl who read it bats!! that would be sosososo cooool ANYWAY FOLLOW ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

[starsdailyjournal]

Funfacts!!

I think I am a lot of things, personally (gay (hmu ladies)) and I wanted to boast about what a cool gal I am! And since my account is sort of about mental health I wanted to tell yall about some of the things I've faced as someone who has had a poor one for most of their life because 1 I like to talk about myself and 2 I want more people talking about the less discussed parts of mental health because everyone deserves to tell their story without having to feel like their's is too gross or different.

Lemme start with some red flags

I TWEAK over adopt me like I spend real money and time on that game it's unhealthy

I was gonna start and internet based cult and become a diety so that I could fake my death and ask for offerings before I go (adopt me pets) but I gave up

I have 5 stick and poke tattoos I did with no tutorials (they look super cool (they dont))

One of those tattoos are vampire bite marks (I did yesterday its the best decision I ever made)

I never EVER use tutorials I wing it every time with everything like I cut my own hair with scissors from the kitches without even LOOKING AT A PICTURE I just hope it looks cool and emo and that my bangs will make me partially blind

Whenever I do wing it, it always works out (im a god)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE VAMPIRES hellsing ultimate is my fav anime ever and nothing can top it

I love the winter it's my fav season because it's so gloomy

I dress scene but I use only emo colors and I listen to only gabber and scene (my guilty pleasure is some pop)

I don't even look that scene because I can't go shopping BECAUSE IM BROKE and my mom thinks shes above thrifting (she lives in a one bedroom apartment infested with cockroaches) and my dad is always busy. But I diy all the rips in my clothes and try to do the best I can!!

Honestly my style doesnt need a label because idrc abt those I just wanna do what I wanna do frfr

I don't take my own advice sometimes

I'm a vampire

I'm pan in the worst way (I only care abt looks IDGAF abt gender)

I value looks A LOT

I hope that was red enough but here are my green flags!!!

I'm really smart though I don't look it at all (stereotypes are funny with me because I'm indian and REALLY alternative)

I'm really good at specifically math (because of trauma)

I'm trying to better myself

I LOVE MINECRAFT (and roblox but minecraft a little more)

I love to write

I love philosophy (I also hate it for moral reasons)

I like to draw a tad

I'm not british

I'm wise as hell and people should listen to my advice more frfr

ADHD (its a green flag idc)

I LOVE BFDI AND INANIMATE INSANITY IM AN OG BFDI FAN IVE BEEN WATCHING SINCE FOREVER (2016)

I love to read (but not digitaly it makes it weird)

I love spending time with my family (97% of the time)

I love money (its a GREEN flag to me (your so funny stars! (IkIk no need to aplaud) *applause*)(*blushes cutely*))

I'm so funny

i have 30 dollars saved up (pls dont mug me!!)

Anyway I'll make posts on stuff like mental health, stuff I find funny or interesting or cool etc but I need to change out of this hoodie im getting way too sweaty

Edit: I'm not recoloring this post bc its rlly annyoing to do it and like I can't even seen anything outside of dark red and black on my laptop so like

[starsdailyjournal]

Intro post!!

Sooo like I've been trying to fix up my life lately (that sentence was typed out as i picked up some of my hair hair that had just fallen out) as in like just feeling better about it. So!!! I've decided to start journaling (I was gonna do it in an actual physical journal butt thats not very chronicallyonlineesque) I want to do this as a way to "romanticize my life" yaknow like drinking tea and watching the sunset. But tea is really bitter without sugar so I'd rather just start a tumblr journal.

I'm also trying to take care of myself more, since I've been struggling with deppresion from 8-12 and chronic deppresion from 12-now it's been hard to even remember to brush my teeth. But I have been working on myself and life has been getting better for yagirl. Back in the day (prime sadness) i used to HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE myself like I couldn't begin to explain the ego death and self loathing I had until 8th grade. The reason it all changed was that I lost weight and started dressing even coolerrrr (also I moved from those rich kids I used to go to school with) but now my social life is pretty awesome and getting compliments and ppl confessing to me n stuff rlly boosted my self confidence (a bit too much). I feel nowadays that I'm pretty cool and I deserve to take care of myself and feel happy and to do that I'm gonna have to take the steps and all like journaling and brushing my teeth yaknow.

So likeeee YEAH read my blog and follow as I try to make my life better finally!!