Star

ACOTAR * Requests are temporarily closed

[starsxblazing]

Masterlist

A03

Azriel:

Tag List

A Court of Dragons and Shadows (OC series)

Pushing the Limits - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12

You're Losing Me - Part 2 - Part 3

The Last Time

Iridescence

Die Of A Broken Heart

Requests:

The Domino Effect - Part 2

Cause and Effect (Original) - Part 1 - Part 2 -Part 3

Unnoticed

Misunderstandings

Chaotic Love

Yours Truly

Through It All

Oblivious Attraction

Confessions of the Heart

Cassian:

Teddy Bear

Puppy Love

[starsxblazing]

If this hurricane has done nothing else on this first day, it's given me time to sit and read again for the first time in a bit. That means new ideas are flowing and ready to be put out into the acotar universe once my power is restored and repairs are done🥰

[starsxblazing]

heyy, how are you?? i just wanted to say, i love you and your writing. you are one of the best people i have come across and i love you. if you ever feel bad about your writing, just know that only you can put that story out there so NEVER GIVE UP!! hehe okay bye ily 🤭😘

Life has been really rough lately and my writing slump has been something terribly fierce. You are so amazing for spreading such positivity and this was something that has most definitely helped! I love you so much for that alone🥰

[shadowdaddies]

The Shadowsinger 🗡️🦇 by arospaintbrush on Instagram

[ourhighladysarahjmaas]

⭐

Art by : thehollyfox

[thatgirlonstage]

Ao3 subscriptions are so fucking wild to me. Every time I write my silly fanfictions and post them 124 people get an email just to let them know that this idiot is posting their fanfictions again. I send 124 people an email every time I write smut. Imagine sending 124 physical letters out just to be like “hello everyone, I put some guys we made up in our heads through the horrors again.” Absolutely absurd. I am kissing all of you on the lips.

[rainingriversofyou]

Feyre Cursebreaker - Artist: kateartpocket

[starsxblazing]

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool~)🌈🌈

I'm resilient and still keep going despite all of my struggles

I work as hard as possible to provide the best life possible for my little family

I've learned to face my problems instead of running from them

I haven't let my mental health win

I love hard and am extremely loyal

you are awesome @mybestfriendmademe <3

[starsxblazing]

if you get this, answer with three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs! anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog 🖤🖤🖤

My oldest child wants to be a writer and begs me to read the things that I write about (that's a hard no though lol)

I work in a factory so it gives me time to daydream about my hyperfixation (which is currently acotar)

None of my friends know that I write because it's considered nerdy to them

thank you @mybestfriendmademe :)

[thisblogisaboutabook]

Just over here thinking about Azriel in HOFAS

-“You can do good,” Azriel warned, “while still being bad.”

-“His wings were spread so wide they nearly touched either side of the cavern.”

- “So does it… tell the truth?” A hint of a smile, more chilling than the frigid air around them. “It gets people to do so.”

[hellcat8908]

Long Gone Azriel x Reader

Warnings: pure angst because I've been in a mood

Shielding your bond had become second nature, not that it really mattered if it was shielded or not. The light of it that once burned bright had been slowly snuffed out, leaving it cold and dark. Azriel had taken on more missions that kept him away for extended periods of time. At first, you had begged him not to go, but he claimed it was his duty. After a while, you realized you were wasting your breath. He'd never choose to stay. You had started sleeping in the guest room when he was away, unable to sleep in your lonely marital bed unless it was one of the few times he was home. He hadn't noticed the toll this was having on you, or if he had, he didn't care.

You were left alone once again after Azriel had rushed out for a mission in Illyria. You stared at the half eaten breakfast he had left behind. Your eyes drifted around the house, noticing how it was just a house, no longer a home to you. It used to be full of love, and now it's just a hollow shell, like you. The thought made you laugh, and the more you dwelled on your life, you couldn't help but laugh harder. You were becoming hysteric, laughter turned to tears quickly as you realized how pathetic your existence has become. You couldn't stop crying, reaching out for Rhys to send Madja.

Moments later the they are both in front of you, "sedate me!" You manage to say between sobs. Madja looks to Rhys questioningly. After he prods your mind, with permission, he gives Madja a nod. She gives you a tonic that will keep you resting for several hours. Your eyes flutter closed as the tonic takes effect. Once Rhys carries you upstairs to bed, he orders Azriel to return home. After some back and forth, Rhys shows him why he needs to come home. Once Azriel returns, Rhys tells him about the state they found you in and Madja sedating you before he leaves the two of you alone.

Azriel stares at you, wondering how it took him this long to realize the pain you're in. Madja said you'd be out for hours. He took the time to really take in how much things had changed. He noticed the bed smelled more like him than you, even though you slept in it more, or so he thought. He took in the puffiness of your eyes from crying. Each sign of pain and distress he failed to notice sooner glared at him. He reaches out to hold your hand but stops, wondering if you'd want him to touch you. He sits there in silence as he dwells on the past several months. When you stopped begging him to stay is when he should've realized what was happening. He thought about how lifeless the bond between you had become.

You started to stir on the bed, bringing Azriel out of his thoughts, "Hey, Angel," he says softly. Your eyes are still tired as you try and focus on him. "Madja gave me the good stuff. it's almost like you're actually here." You mumble before your eyes drift closed again. "It's me, I'm really here." He says as he brushes a stray strand of hair from your face. "You're away, you left earlier. Besides, you wouldn't choose me." You mumble before drifting back asleep. He sits in stunned silence at your words. The fact that you'd accept a dream of him being there before him physically being there hurt him deeply. He hadn't given you reason to believe otherwise, though, he thought to himself as he watched you rest.

You wake up later that evening to the smell of dinner. You get out of bed and make your way towards the savory scent, expecting to see someone from the inner circle. You're stunned when you see Azriel cooking with his back to you, you pinch yourself to make sure you're not dreaming. Once you accept that you're awake, you take a few moments to gather yourself. "Dinner is about ready if you want to sit down." Azriel says over his shoulder. "I thought you were in Illyria." You say as you remain where you are. "I was, but you needed me." You let out a laugh, "That's never stopped you before." You say. You watch as he visibly flinches from your words.

He makes a plate for you and sits it at the table before making one for himself. "I can hear your stomach growling from here. Please sit down and eat." He says gently. You hesitantly sit down and take a bite. The chicken is so tender and flavorful as you savor it. A satisfied grin comes over Azriel. You eat in silence as Azriel keeps a watchful eye on you. "How are you feeling?" He asks. "Okay, I guess." You answer. "No lingering drowsiness or headache from the tonic?" He asks. "No." You answer before gathering your dishes and carrying it to the sink.

You wash your dishes and leave them to dry in the rack. "I guess I am still kind of tired. I'm going back to bed." You say before heading upstairs, not giving him a chance to stop you. You decide to sleep in the guest room, unsure of what to make of Azriel cooking you dinner, let alone him being home. You change into knit shorts and a shirt before climbing into bed and trying to get some sleep. You toss and turn for a bit before finally falling back asleep.

Meanwhile, Azriel sits at the table where you left him. He moves his food around with his fork but doesn't have an appetite anymore. He scraped the remaining food fromhis plate into the trash before cleaning his dishes and leaving them yo dry with yours. He sat down on the couch and debated what to do. He didn't know if you wanted him in bed with you or if he should just make himself comfortable on the couch. After a while, he decided to sleep beside you. He made his way upstairs and into the bedroom, which was surprisingly empty.

He checked the bathroom, and still no sign of you. He sent his shadows to search for you while he checked the other rooms and found them empty until he came to the guest room. As soon as he opened the door, he could tell you spent a lot of time in here. It had been redecorated to your liking, and it smelled of your sweet scent. He found you soundly sleeping in the bed. This was your retreat when he was gone. He could tell how much time you spent in this room. He briefly wondered how he could miss all the signs, but then it would be easy if he was hardly ever home.

His shoulders slumped as his mind raced with more questions than answers. Would you want him to stay with you or should he sleep on the couch, would you ever be able to forgive him, if you did would things ever be like they were when you first got together. The more he thought about it, the more overwhelming it became. Finally, he tucked the covers tighter around you and gently pressed a kiss to your forehead before whispering, "Good night, angel." As he turned to leave, he heard you mumble."Love you, Az." His heart stopping at your words before a little spark of hope flickered in his heart. He quietly shut the door before walking downstairs and laying on the couch. He laid there thinking that tomorrow is a new day for a new beginning, and he was determined to fix everything.

[daycourtofficial]

Come back, be here

Azriel x reader

Summary: It’s the anniversary of your mating bond ceremony and despite his reassurances, Azriel is nowhere to be seen.

Author’s note: this is the end of my 1k celebration and ironically the first fic I finished for this week. I hope you guys enjoyed reading these fics as much as I enjoyed writing them

Word count: 2k

(1k celebration masterlist 🍾)

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Every second you sat in your kitchen felt like an eternity, the fabric of the dress you’re wearing growing heavier with each tick of the clock.

You had bought the clock for your mate for your mating anniversary years ago. A rare antique that you knew he would love - thousands of years old, and you got it for an absurdly low price due to the condition it was in.

You spent months with a restoration expert, cleaning the clock, repairing pieces as you dismantled it. It was a labor of love, one you thought Azriel was deserving of.

The months spent restoring it were nothing compared to the time you’ve been sitting here.

Now you sit, practically taunted by its song. Tonight was supposed to be about the two of you. Objectively five years in a mateship isn’t a long time, a blip in the lives of fae, and yet the both of you were looking forward to the evening.

Despite his intimidating demeanor, Azriel was meticulous about celebrating your anniversaries, oftentimes mentioning an event you didn’t realize he knew the date of. You imagined he had an internal index of the days you two spent together.

“I waited five hundred years to meet you,” he had told you when he wanted to take you out to celebrate the anniversary of your first date, “I want to remember everything we do together. I want to celebrate us every day that I can.”

His words were incredibly sweet, but sitting in the cold kitchen, the tempting aromas of the meal you made long gone, you wonder just how much of it was words.

He waited 500 years for you, and you waited several hours before packing up the dinner you had made for him, tears running down your face as you packaged it all up.

Perhaps his overeager celebration of anniversaries led to the intensity of the sting you feel deep in your chest.

The clock chimes twelve times - he’s four hours late and your anniversary is officially over. You have no indication from the bond what he’s doing, it’s golden hum having gone silent hours ago.

You blow out the candles littering the house, taking off the ridiculous party hat you were wearing and throwing it on the ground.

It feels silly, the brightly colored hat with a pompon on top. It’s bright demeanor heavily contrasting the loneliness you feel inside. You sigh, looking around the downstairs of your home, deciding to leave the rose petals you had scattered so perhaps he’ll feel at least a little guilty when he came home.

Whenever that would be.

Trudging up the stairs, each step growing heavier, you wonder what could have kept him away. Rhys certainly wouldn’t have asked him to go away - Azriel had mentioned earlier in the week he’d be unavailable for a few days to celebrate.

Besides, Rhys knew how anal Azriel was about your anniversaries, and Feyre would chew him out if he forced Azriel to do anything on a day as important as your mating ceremony anniversary.

He had left this morning, promising you he’d be home at 8 because he had some tasks to do. You knew he was going to help one of your neighbors with a fallen tree, something that had to be done as soon as possible.

You move silently, going through your nightly ritual, an early end to the night you didn’t see coming. You pull back the covers on your bed, slipping into its cold grasp, ready to cry yourself to sleep, when you hear the door open downstairs.

You can hear Azriel moving through the house, a swiftness to his step as you hear him climbing the stairs quickly, taking them two at a time.

You make your way to your shared bedroom door, that you had locked upon entering, and lean against it, unsure if you’re ready for his excuses.

He tries the handle, then begins knocking.

“Baby, baby please be awake.” He pauses for a moment, listening. “I’m so sorry, baby please I know you’re awake I can hear you breathing.”

One of his shadows snakes underneath your door, checking you over to see how you are. It lingers on your cheeks, tear tracks still fresh. The shadow doesn’t return to it’s master, instead opting to stay with you, providing you company.

“Please, baby, I lost track of time. I was working on a surprise for you and I fell asleep. Baby I’m-“

You push off the door and turn to crack open the door, taking in the sight of your mate. Despite your annoyance, the bond made it practically impossible to want to avoid him. Every piece of you begged to be near him, to open the door further letting him in.

“You were working on a surprise?” Your voice cracks from all the crying, and he doesn’t mention how his heart cracks in response.

He nods gently, his hair sticking up everywhere from his hands having ran through it, and likely also from the flight home.

You’re still upset, but the frost you feel starts thawing. You can make him grovel a bit, and you’re about to open the door more, when the smell hits you.

Elain.

He showed up late to your date for your mating anniversary with some lame excuse about falling asleep because he had spent the day with Elain.

Elain, who was mated to Lucien, but made her affections for your mate abundantly clear before your mateship. As far as you had known, Azriel had shut down her affections when the bond snapped for you both, but now you’re reconsidering everything that you know.

Had they been sneaking around? Is this the first time? Does Lucien know?

The questions swirl in your mind, and Azriel puts his foot in the door begore you can slam it on him, your emotions swirling inside of his chest.

“Baby-“

“You spent the day with Elain?” You spat, “you were late because of Elain? You reek of her, Az!”

You push against the door, trying to shut him out, but he doesn’t budge, he won’t pull his foot out of the way, no matter how much it hurts.

“Baby, no let me explain-“

You laugh, “what’s there to explain? You are covered in her scent.”

The tears start pouring again, and the shadow starts wiping them up, more of them coming through the door to console you.

He starts panicking. Things with Elain have been great the past few years - her distance from Azriel allowing any lingering feelings of lust or awkwardness to dissipate, allowing the two of them to have a cordial friendship. Despite this, he was aware of how insecure you were around her.

You could never grasp why he’d want to be with you when he could have been with her.

Panic laces his tone as he tells you, “baby, no, I went to Elain’s to bake you a cake! We’ve been working all week on a recipe for you!”

You stop pushing so hard against the door, your movements stilling. An invitation for him to continue talking, but to stay where he was and not try to come in further.

“We spent the day baking you a cake. I laid down on her couch, and you know how damning that thing is. Lucien was there all day. I fell asleep waiting for the cake to cool so I could frost it. They must have left because-“

He pauses, his words rushing from his mouth, afraid you’d shut him out before they made their way to you. “I-they had me promise not to tell anyone, but Elain’s pregnant and they left for an appointment with Madja. They got back not too long ago, waking me up. I came straight here, forgetting the cake and your gifts.”

You lift your eyes to look at him for the first time and you know he’s telling you the truth.

“Gifts? Plural?”

A laugh breaks out from him, your obvious attempt to diffuse the situation. He pushes his hair back with a hand, and you finally take in how messy it was. He clearly had rushed over here, if it’s wind-blown look was anything to go off of. “I got you these incredible books that I spent ages tracking down. I was in Day earlier this week to pick them up.”

You perk up at that, “but you hate going to Day alone because Helion begs you to-“

“Then I had to stop by the jeweler’s.”

You perk up at that, your love of jewelry rivaling Amren’s.

“The jeweler’s?”

He smiles faintly, hoping he’s slowly convincing you to let him in.

“I had Winston take part of one of my siphons to make you a necklace.”

You still at that.

“Your- your siphon?”

He smiles softly, “yeah, I’ve been talking with him for years on how to best remove a piece to make you a matching necklace.”

You narrow your eyes, “years?”

“Yes, my love. We’ve gone through probably dozens of unused syphons to figure out the best method, he finally figured it out a few months ago.”

His hand taps his chest, where one of his siphons usually sits.

“I had a bit chiseled off of the one that stays on my chest.”

Your resolve crumbles, seinging open the door and launching yourself into his arms. He holds you tightly, and the two of you just stand there, enjoying the embrace.

The clock chines downstairs, but this time it’s tune is one of love, not dread.

You smelled him again, and as prominent as Elain’s scent was, you also picked up strong hints of Lucien and a soft, delicate scent.

“So nothing happened?”

“Nothing happened. And nothing ever will happen.”

Your eyes are lined with tears, pulling back from him, you place your hands on his face, bringing his face level with yours.

“If anything did happen, or ever happens, I’ll skin you alive.”

“My love, I think if I were to ever do anything to break your heart, Nesta would put my heart on a platter.”

You giggle, and he hums out, “actually I’m not sure who’d get to me first - Cassian or Nesta.”

Your soft giggles soothe the erratic beating of Azriel’s heart, “Gwyn and Emerie might take a chunk out too.”

He pushes the strands of hair away from your face, guiding the two of you further into the toom so he can shut the door.

“Let’s assume that if I did anything to hurt you, there would be a long line of fae coming to hunt me down.”

He kisses you, quickly pecking your lips several times as he guided you backwards until your knees hit your bed.

“However I did leave my mate all alone on our anniversary.”

He crawls on top of you, kissing your neck as you close your eyes at the contact, “and I am very good at groveling.”

[thehighladywrites]

ACOTAR MEN X READER, “HE’S THE BEST BROTHER EVER”

ᡣ𐭩 summary: you prank them based on this | prank link

ᡣ𐭩 warnings: nsfw in cassian’s, crack

ᡣ𐭩 amara’s note: help this was so fun to make thank you for the req anon | based on this request

⊹ RHYSAND

"Rhys, come here! I'm making a cute video of us."

He practically runs to you, ensuring his clothes are smoothed out and his hair is laid to perfection.

You step back when you press the record button and then get closer to him, putting your hand on his abs.

"You see this man?" you say with an extra dose of possessiveness in your voice. "Yeah, if you wanna get to him, you have to go through me first."

Rhys looks down at you with a smirk, nodding proudly at the fact that you're claiming him for everyone to see.

Your hands travel from his abs to his neck as you bring him down for a long, sweet kiss.

He grabs your hips, pulling you closer for a heated makeout session, but you pull back before he can take it further

“He’s the best big brother ever in this world.”

Rhys immediately lets go of you, taking a step back with a horrified look before he desperately looks into the camera, then back to you, who can't keep from laughing.

"Out of all your practical jokes, this has got to be the worst one ever," Rhys protests, shaking his head. "No, I'm not her brother. We're mated, and what we do is very far away from sibling stuff."

He says the last bit to the camera with a broad smile, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

⊹ AZRIEL

"What should I say, sweetheart?" Azriel asks

"Nothing, Az. Just stand there and let me do the work," you reply affectionately.

"I've heard that one before," he says with a cocky grin.

You roll your eyes, suppressing a smile, as you press the record button.

He immediately draws closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist. You smile up at him, mischief hidden behind your eyes.

“This man is mine, and if you want to get to him, you gotta go through me first, right?”

Azriel is filled with cringe and makes this face😲

“Oh! Um, yeah. That’s right.” he says, voice too high

Listen, he loves you but he is wondering how the fuck you’re not criniging out rn too. Like are you serious?

You squish his cheeks together and plant a dramatic, loud kiss on his lips.

“He is the best big brother ever.”

Azriel smiles, leaning in to kiss you again while casting a glance at the camera.

“No, she’s the best little sister ever.”

Your jaw drops at the sudden twist; he has stolen your prank.

“Damn it Az, you can’t let me have one thing?”

He shrugs, “Says the one with the incest prank.”

⊹ CASSIAN

“Cassie, just stand there, i’m going to record us. You don’t have to do anything, okay?”

“Alright, baby.”

You see Cassian behind you checking out your ass through the camera as you press record, backing into him

“Just a PSA, this is my man and if you wanna get to him, you gotta go through me first.” you said exaggerated with your hands on your hips before kissing him deeply

He smirked suspiciously before soaking up your posessivness. But before you could say your other line, he picked you up with one arm, throwing you over his sturdy shoulder as he walked over to your bed

“Wha- Cassian, we were recording!”

“Okay, we can keep recording. Make a fun little video, just the two of us.” he said with a low, lustfilled voice.

You didn’t even bother continuing the prank as you nodded, intrigued by making a whole different sort of video

You just prank him another time, right now you need big dick hot guy general massive wingspan big tattooed arms deep voice nice abs pullable hair daddy cassian (real asf)

⊹ LUCIEN

He already knows what you’re going to do but he plays along

You tug him to stand infront of your camera

The way he looks at you, makes you want to laugh but you bite your tongue

You pull him in closer by his forearm, holding him as you look into the camera

“This is my man so if you want him you will have to go though me first.”

Lucien supresses his smile at your attempt at a joke

“Yeah, you heard her,” he nods determined at the screen

You then pull him down and just as you’re about to kiss him you burst out laughing

Lucien tilts his down at you in mock confusion

“Is something funny? I thought i was the best brother ever, laughing at me isn’t very nice.”

Your eyes widen at him, jaw dropped. “No way, Luc, you knew?”

“Baby, i’m as chronically online as you are.”

⊹ ERIS

“What is this for?”

“For me, please just stand there and we’ll be good to go.”

He is a bit skeptical but listens nonetheless

“Very well. Go on, love.”

You press record and start the prank

“Hi guys, i just wanted to let you know that this is my man and if you ever wanna get to him you gotta go through me first.”

Eris looks at you a bit weird. He can’t take you seriously. The epitome of this face 😬

You grab his face and press a kiss to his lips. Eris warms at the action, smiling at you before his smile drop instantly

“He’s the best big brother ever.”

His entire face sours, a look of absolute disgust portraying his face.

“That right there is some Night Court shit.”

With that he simply leaves but not before scrunching his face in disbelief, sighing in disappointment

🏷️: @artists-ally @thelov3lybookworm @riddlesb1tch @berryzxx @clairebear08 @cupidojenphrodite @redbleedingrose @fell-in-luvs

[fauxdette]

We don’t talk about this enough:

So my father rescued me and told his men, told Azriel, to leave the ash spikes in my wings as punishment for getting caught.

🥺

[starsxblazing]

I forgot about this and my heart💔

[rainingriversofyou]

Azriel - A Court Of Thorns And Roses - Artist: art_by_ava.georgia

[starsxblazing]

Holy gods🥵 words have evaded me

[rainingriversofyou]

Azriel - A Court Of Thorns And Roses - Artist: art_by_ava.georgia

[starsxblazing]

This is just🤌🥵🥵

[mrs-azriel-deactivated20250912]

When You Need Distraction to Survive - Azriel x Reader

Pairing: Azriel x female!reader

Synopsis: He killed your brother, and so you plan your revenge. Get close to him, then kill him. You watch him fall in love with you, and realize that you have fallen for him too. However, you can't abandon your plan of revenge.

Warnings: ANGST, betrayal, a little bit of violence, reader has hair?, no happiness for anyone involved, use of Y/N.

Word Count: 1.9k+

You were there for revenge. 

A renowned assassin originating from the land of Rask, growing up in the Salted Guild alongside your brother. They called you the Shadow, and he was the Wind. 

That was, until he was taken from you by the Shadowsinger of the Night Court while he was there on a task assigned to him. Brutally murdered. 

You were sent to complete his mission in the city they called Velaris, and you accepted - however not to fulfill his mission, but to kill the Spymaster and his family. To make him feel the pain that he had caused you. 

You concocted a plan. It started with buying an apartment deep in the city, far enough away from the High Lord’s quarters in order to appear the least conspicuous as possible. You watched them for months, watched their every move to the point that you could predict everything each one of them would do. 

You weren’t worried about the Spymaster catching you. They called you the Shadow for a reason - his shadows saw you as one of their own. 

Once you had memorized their daily lives, you planted yourself in the path of the Shadowsinger. You had scrapped the dark leather clothes you wore as an assassin, and swapped them for the outfits you saw many of the lay people wearing. 

The first meeting you had with Azriel, you were wearing a white top underneath a pair of denim overalls, and you had a flower tucked in your hair. You looked kind, like someone who helped others, and went out for coffee with her friends once a week. 

And when you bumped into the male, you knew that that is exactly who he saw you as. 

“I’m so sorry,” he grabbed your tote bag filled with fruit up off the floor from where it had been knocked, “are you alright?”

“Don’t be sorry!” you faked sincerity, truly seething beneath the surface at the sight of the male that had killed your brother, “It’s completely my fault.” You feigned embarrassment, and pulled an apple out of the bag that was now back in your hands. “Here, take this as an apology.”

When he seemed like he would refuse, exactly as you expected, you gave him a look and brought the apple closer to him until he took it from your hand. As he did, you noticed the scars covering his hands, and against your own judgements felt sympathy for the male in front of you, before remembering what he had done to your brother. 

“Thank you . . . “

“Y/N”.

“Y/N,” he tried your name out, “I’m Azriel.”

“Azriel,” you pretended you were hearing it for the first time, “well it was lovely meeting you, however unfortunate the circumstances were.” You giggled at the end of your sentence, and the sound felt rotten in your mouth. “I should get going, have a lovely day.” 

And with a smile, you turned around as if to return to whatever you could have possibly been doing before this. 

And just as you had planned, the Spymaster called your name behind you. You turned around, looking surprised, “Yes?”

He walked closer to you and asked, “I want to make it up to you - how about I take you out for coffee, or tea if you’d prefer.”

You smiled, trying to look as genuine as possible.

“Coffee sounds great.”

Your stomach turned as he smiled back at you.

The longer you waited, the worse it felt. You knew he was in love with you - the flowers showing up at your door once a week, the dates that he took you on, his patience when you told him you wanted to wait to be intimate. 

But you also saw it in the way he looked at you, his hazel eyes a gateway to his soul. The way that he doted on you, and always made sure you were safe and happy.

You soon realized that he was a good male. Not someone who would act cruelly out of pleasure, or kill someone for no reason. It was thoughts like these that allowed you to feel again. And you realized that you were falling in love with him too. 

But you couldn’t, and so you pushed those emotions so deep down that you couldn’t feel a trace of them. Until you could feel nothing at all - only a relentless numbness that had been present since your brother’s dead body had been shipped back to the Salted Guild in Rask.

The brother that Azriel had murdered. 

You needed to remember that. Remember why you were there, and continue with your plan.

You decided that you would complete the final phase of your plan in a month's time.

And so you continued to plot, and continued to push down any emotions that Azriel brought forth in you. You couldn’t allow for any distractions.

Not even his family. The first time Azriel had brought you to meet his family, you almost forgot your entire plan. You could imagine for a few hours what it would be like if this was actually your life. If you and your brother had never been sold to the guild, never been trained as assassins, if your brother had never been killed.

Maybe you would have met Azriel naturally, on your own. He would have taken you on the same dates, treated you just as kindly, and his family would have still accepted you as one of their own. 

Only then, it would have been real. 

But that wasn’t reality, and so, just like you always did, you pushed the thoughts out of your mind. 

“I love you.” he whispered as you laid in his arms on the balcony, staring up at the stars.

You froze, unsure what to say or do. It felt too real - the lines between revenge and a new life for yourself blurring, and deep down, all you wanted to do was turn around and tell him you loved him too, and kiss him, and let yourself accept the relationship that you had unintentionally built with him.

And so, selfishly, that’s what you did. 

His eyes lined with tears as those four words left your mouth, and he immediately reciprocated when you leaned down and kissed him. 

And when he brought you inside, and you gave yourself to him that night - it was real. You allowed yourself one night with him that was genuine, filled with the emotions you had been suppressing. 

You allowed yourself to forget for one night, and love him like he deserved to be loved. The male who had treated you with nothing but kindness and respect. The male who had endured so much in his life, who had been deprived of that love.

One night.

And as you watched his chest rise and fall next to you in his bed, you allowed yourself to cry. To grieve this beautiful thing that had grown between you, that you had tainted with your plotting.

You imagined putting all of this behind you, forgetting about your plan of revenge, and living the rest of your life with him. 

But you had come too far. Your brother had died a senseless death, and you couldn’t abandon your plan to bring him justice. 

And so as the sun rose, you left your fantasies of happiness and a future with Azriel behind you - and you were numb once again.

You had one more week before you enacted your plan. 

One week. 

You strapped the daggers to the sheaths on your thighs, and smoothed the skintight black leather down with steady hands and a hard look on your face. 

It was time.

You wondered what Azriel would think when he saw you and realized why you were there. You wondered if he would be angry, or sad, or disappointed. 

You didn’t care. You couldn’t if you were to succeed.

You wouldn’t allow yourself to care. Even though a small voice in the back of your head screamed at you to stop, to not do what you were about to do, but you tuned her out as well. 

You stalked down the street, hiding in the shadows, taking note of every citizen of Velaris. As you reached the steps of the House of Wind, you prepared to trek up the steps, but knew that it still wouldn’t slow you down.

You had been training since you were 5 years old, and had continued to do so the moment you had arrived in Velaris. Not that Azriel or the rest of the inner circle actually knew how good of shape you were actually in.

You made sure of that.

You reached the top, not even winded, and entered the House of Wind in silence. You were surprised that the sentient house didn’t alert anyone of your presence, but perhaps you had fooled it too. 

You reached Azriel’s room and slipped in, heading towards the bed. 

Except it was empty. 

Your heart rate spiked as you whipped your head around the room, searching for the male you had grown so familiar with. The room appeared empty, but you knew he was there. You could sense it. 

The back of your neck tingled, and you turned around so abruptly that it caught him off guard. You pushed yourself up his body and wrapped your legs over his shoulders and around his neck, dragging him backwards until you were pushed against the wall.

He fought back, but half-heartedly, likely due to the fact that he recognized your scent. 

He managed to pin you onto the bed, and you were met with the confused gaze of the male you had fallen in love with - whom you had come to kill. 

“My love,” he murmured as he brushed a scarred hand against your forehead, “what are you doing.”

You allowed yourself this moment before you killed him, to tell him why. 

“You know what I’m doing.”

He continued to stare at you in confusion, until you saw him realize what you meant, and you watched betrayal, hurt, anger, and sadness all quickly flash across his beautiful features. 

“You killed him.” you growled, and you used that as a reminder to continue. You kicked his stomach, pushing him off of you onto the floor. 

You followed and got on top of him and raised a dagger to his throat. Tears filled your eyes at the realization of what you were about to do, and from the reemergence of grief you felt for your deceased brother.

“You killed him!” you cried.

Azriel watched you in fear and sadness and asked, “Who?”

“My brother,” your voice cracked, “you killed him. You killed him!” you couldn’t stop crying, and you pressed the dagger further against his throat, 

“I’m sorry.” he whispered, and you noted the fact that he wasn’t trying to fight back.

“You killed him!” you yelled in anger, anguish, and grief. 

You tried to finish the job, dagger trembling in your grasp. You truly did try.

But as you stared at Azriel, you knew he didn’t deserve to die. 

And so with a yell, you ripped the dagger away from his neck and tossed it to the floor.

You stood so quickly your head spun and in your array of emotions, you somehow managed to bypass the wards and winnowed out of the House of Wind, out of Velaris, out of Prythian. 

And you left Azriel lying on the floor, shaken, but breathing.