Zach's Manly Moroccan Blog

As-salamu alaykum, or peace be upon you. My name is Zach and I am currently a student at the the American language institute at Alif. I will be studying Moroccan Arabic, aka Dirija, for 9 weeks here in Fes, Morocco. After which I will be backpacking through Europe with a friend. Follow me as I share my pictures and stories of my manly adventures here. Feel free to ask any questions and I will do my best to best to respond, thanks!

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Interesting Theories

Just to make things clear, my hagwon is very poorly run, but they are honest. Hagwons have a reputation for screwing foreign teachers and none of that stuff is present at mine. 

My co-teacher today offered an interesting theory as to why our competent Korean teacher was fired. The reason: jealousy. 

Koreans have a tendency to be very vain. Step into any elevator and you with see Korean men and women making sure their look is perfect. This also extends to workplace competency. It is a big no-no to point out a mistake to the director. That makes him/her look bad. Their image is essential to them, and our Korean teacher may have made our director feel inferior.

Our recently fired Korean teacher was a tall, pretty, young Korean woman. She handled her job well and things were so much easier with her around. Unfortunately she may have been too competent, too organized. The fact that she was attractive and competent may have been too much for the director’s fragile ego and she was fired.

Again, this is just a theory from a fellow teacher. However, this teacher has lived in Korea for more than 5 years and know more on Korean culture than anyone I know. So, he probably has an idea of what he is talking about. Then again he could be wrong., but makes more sense than her being fired for not doing her job well.

Wanted to upload pictures here, but for some reason I can’t from the PC bang computer, so it may have to wait until I get home next week. :(

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My absence lately

I realize I haven't posted anything in awhile and that is entirely due to my job. Today was the first day in about two weeks where I haven’t immediately fallen asleep after work. This is because my hagwon (private school) has devolved in to absolute chaos. 

Some background: Korean teachers act like managers. They give us our schedules, give us feedback on our class performance, inform us of changes or complaints. They are essential in running our classes, even if the information given to us is often vague and at the last second.

One of them had to leave one day do to a family crises, with no word on her return. This information was given to us on the day of her absence. We were then told we had to cover her classes, but that information wasn’t given to us until the literal second before the class started. That’s mildly irritating, but actually happens all the time.

One month later our director finally got a replacement for her (teacher 1). In the mean time, we were understandably busy and English teachers took over the grading aspect of tests. The Korean teacher left did a great job under the circumstances. The new Korean was teacher also did great learning and taking over for our departed teacher.

Then, we are informed the veteran Korean teacher is going to Canada for study. Again, on the day this happened. Fortunately, our director actually hired a replacement ahead of time (teacher 2).

Things were going great from there. Teacher 1 was fully trained and took over the duties fine. In fact, in many ways, such a communication, she was better than the previous two. Teacher 2 was understandably stumbling a bit, but learning. There were many changes for them to cope with. Teacher 1 understand how the school ran, how to relay said changes to us. She made some mistakes here or there, but apologized for them and again, there were many changes.

There were changes to grading, changes to class prep, changes schedule, and changes in students. Essentially everything I was used to was changed. Teacher 1 did a great job dealing with these changes and making sure we remembered them. Teacher 2 did really know what was going on to much, but her week of training had just been pointless and were all getting used to the changing work environment.

Then, teacher 1 was fired. There was no warning, or feasible reason for this action. The other English teachers and I are still really confused as to why she was fired. She was replaced that day (man teacher) and I was left feeling uneasy as to how our new manager, neither of whom was fully trained, would handle the school.

Now for the past two weeks, our new Korean teachers, teacher 1 and man teacher, have demonstrated remarkable incompetence.

I made a list:

I had new students who up to my class without warning and with no materials. 

They have no idea what a level test is or how to give one.

Their English skills are comparatively poor. I had to explain multiple of my written comments on students were positive, not negative.

They can’t answer any questions about changes.

They don’t know our test scheduled.

They know nothing about are monthly fun days.

They have added so much extra work for us, that we barley have 5 minutes to devote to class prep.

Essentially, they have no idea whats going on. Their directions and actions are nonsensical. For example, they have restricted all our access to class materials. Granted we get to make copies of them in advance, but if a student loses their copy of something we have to go through a whole jackass process to get another copy.

First, we have to get a Korean to translate for us what we need because the person who has all our materials does not speak English. Then we have to have a 15 minute conversation about why I need another copy. Finally, I will get the copy make and give it back. Why don’t I make like 20 copies to avoid this process? Well, we are not allowed to, it wastes resources. Before this backassary happened, all I had to do was go to the computer, find my file, and print. This took like 30 second tops.

On top of all this we've had hour-long meetings every day to make changes to our changes and then changes to those changes and changes to those changes. I have no idea what the hell I’m even suppose to be doing anymore. My managers don’t know either. Ironically, my director has been praising me a lot lately. I haven't changed to much of my teaching either. I guess she has no idea what is happening in her school either. 

TLDR: Our old managers are gone. We have new, incompetent ones. No body knows what they are suppose to be doing. I’m really tired.

Thanks for reading my rant, here is a cheetah and her puppy friend.

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Koreans know how to party

Seems I struck a never with someone on my racism post, which made me wanna talk about it more!

Pictured: white devil viciously breaking the Ramadan fast with his Moroccan                                         friends in a discriminatory manner.

However, I don’t want this blog to be all negativity, which bring us to one of my favorite parts about Korea: the night life. I had the pleasure of meeting a group of Korean night goers who proceeded to reteach me how to party.

The first weekend I hung out with these these practiced party goers, they took me to a club, which is very unfortunately named in light of recent events, called Syndrome.

                                 Everybody with MERS say “YE-AH!”

I’m not that much of an experienced clubber. So, I can’t really give this club a rating, but it was just about what I expected. Shoulder to shoulder people, heat as intense as the Sahara, drinks so expensive it would be cheaper to just drink liquid gold.

                                     How sober me views clubs.

Yet, when I’m heavily intoxicated by Korean standards (sorry liver), I turn into a dancing machine. I bobbed and weaved and shook in every direction, not even coming close to being on beat. Yet I didn’t care, I was having a blast. I even felt it necessary to show the scantily clad dancers how to actually work that pole.

                                             These hips don’t lie.

All in all, I had a great time and when we left, I learned a valuable lesson. Upon walking out the doors, the sun was coming up, people were passed out in the street and I realized I had wasted money on a hostel room. See, before that night, I didn’t realize Koreans party ALL night long, making a room unnecessary. My new friends were kind enough to keep an eye on me in the chaos of of the club and we all got some post-clubbing eats. I don’t remember what it was, but this is Korea so it was no doubt delicious.

The subsequent weekends I hung with them I learned some more valuable lessons on how to properly party in Korea. First, you gotta be a bit of a dick if you want to drink. The bar in question we were at that Saturday was called Thursday Party. It packed well beyond US fire codes, with shoulder to shoulder people and for some reason only 6 bartenders. There must have been 300 people squeezed into a space designed to fit maybe 50 and if you wanted one of their famous cheap drinks, you had to earn it. My friend, who I will call Mike, taught me just how to get a bartender’s attention. You have push, shove and elbow your way to the front, then stick your hand right in their face.

                                               This is a light crowd.

The second lesson I learned was to never challenge Master Jung to any drinking games. Master Jung is the owner (I think) of Seoul Pub, a notoriously rancorous bar located in the heart of Itaewon, where Master Jung is always up for drinking challenge or some street magic.

I have met some characters in my travels, but few are as colorful as Master Jung, a self described “drink master, money master, band-bang master” (all accompanied by appropriate pantomime). I watched in amazement as he plowed his way through the “blow up a condom with your nose till it pops” challenge.

                                Master Jung is the one on the right.

I was stunned how he was able to pull of impressive card tricks while barley able to stand. I was dumbfounded as he consumed shot, after shot, after shot with customers yet remained standing and seemingly coherent. I’m positive if a vampire were to ever try Master Jung’s blood, they would drop dead instantly from alcohol poisoning.

But my favorite trick, something he clearly has a lot of experience doing, was the fire shots. Master Jung would line up a bunch of bomb-like drinks, take a sip of what i’m assuming is actual gasoline, then unleash a ball of fire like one of Dany’s dragons. Take a look below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yoc_TjI4ASc

Finally, the last lesson I learn is one my Korean friends aren't letting me forget, never wear shorts. I’m beginning to think that all Koreans are decedent from Targaryens due to their impressive ability to tolerate the most intolerable of heat. In fact, I rarely see them sweat. So, i decided to wear shorts one evening, so I could get some much need air flow. Alas, you cannot go into clubs with shorts. I didn’t know. Yet this group of outstanding people, who barley know me, stuck with me through the night. 

The Next time I see them, I know i’m going to catch some shit for my shorts, but i look forward to it none the less.

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Well dont worry about 'racism' in other countries, I doubt you talk about the massive racism in your own country ever. any thoughts on Ferguson? Or Baltimore? Eric Garner? Koreans aren't literally SHOOTING BLACK PEOPLE DEAD IN THE STREETS, so pls stop your hypocrisy. and this? "Did some euro-clubbing with Dean, a Chinese girl, and some Austr-Asians." How about did some American-clubbing with Zach, a WHITE guy, and some Amer-Asians". You don't even realize you're being racist.

I will comment on racism when it directly affects me and my friends. My black friends in korea have told me about their experiences. I have experienced it. Was it ok for me to be assaulted for having a conversation with a korea? Is it ok to ban black people from entering bars? As for America’s terrible problem with shooting black people, I’m against it. It sickens me Eric Garner was choked to death and his murderer walked free. Same goes for Ferguson, and so many more terrible incidents. Yes I have a problem with American police killing black people. Doesn’t mean I don’t have a right to be upset when I am mistreated for be white, or when I am mistaken as an arab.

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stfu jesus Christ, you white racist devil. Talk about being clueless to your own identity. Here's some books for you to wake the fk up- The Everyday Language of White Racism (Jane H. Hill) The Invention of the White Race(Theodore W. Allen)What Does it Mean to be White?Developing White Racial Literacy(Robin DiAngelo)The White Pacific: U.S. Imperialism and Black Slavery in the South Seas After the Civil War (Gerald Horne) White: Essays on Race and Culture (Richard Dyer). You're disgusting.

Awesome my first hate mail! I'm assuming you didn't read my post because I mostly talked about the racism black people faced in korea, but thank you for your very constructive criticism.

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Lets talk racism...

Let start by stating the city I live in, Hanam, has been great for the most part. The people are friendly, the scenery is beautiful. I have few complaints, but unfortunately everything I love about to Korea has been ruined for me by my experiences with racism in the country.

Racism is a problem in Korea and I’m sure many countries. It is such a problem it’s got it’s own wiki page. Hell, the US has certainly still tainted by this scourge, but we at least have some laws on the books that try and prevent it. However, Korea does not and the darker your skin is, the worse it gets, or so I’ve hear.

               Guess what country still thinks blackface is appropriate.

It ranges from minor things such as Korean not believing black Americans that they are not from Africa, to banning all black people from entering a bar on the grounds of Ebola. This defiantly also means no black-Korean relations ships too.

Take for example Hines Ward of Steelers fame, who is now a national hero due to his Korean ancestry. Ironically, as a child visiting Korea, he was spat at for his mixed heritage. Upon his return in 2006, ward set up a fund to help mixed race children in Korea, who suffer from low graduation rates due to bullying, even from teachers.

As for my experiences, I have made a list:

Being assaulted for talking to Korean girls.

Taxi drives blatantly passing me in favor of Koreans.

Being screamed at for saying excuses me to walk up an escalator.

Got kicked out of a bar for being a foreigner. 

People not believing I am from America (lots of Koreans seem to think I am Arab for some reason).

                        Admittedly, my profile picture is probably not helping.

These issues, besides getting attacked, are relatively minor and again, the majority of Koreans I have met have been very friendly, but they frankly make me feel very unwelcome. I have traveled to many different countries, Morocco, Spain, Mexico, France, etc. but I have never experienced any of these problems before.

If you’re wondering why I didn’t go to the police after I was attacked for talking to a Korean girl (mind you I have a girl friend and this was just friendly banter), it’s because I would likely have been arrested. You read that right, I would have been arrested for getting punched in the face.

I will recount one tale from a blog I found about someone who was relentlessly harassed. For those of you who don’t want to read it, I will give you a quick summary. A man and his wife were walking up an escalator, as you are able to do here. A Korean man was standing in the walking area. They asked for him to move and he freaked out (similar to my incident). He followed them and continually harassed them until the Korean gentleman in question took a swing at the man’s wife, who responded just like any husband would. The police came, only listened to the Korean man and had them arrested. Fast forward a bit, they eventually had to pay the Korean man a bribe of several thousand dollars all because he (the Korean man) had harassed them.

                               I lack the words to describe my disgust.

Where exactly does this attitude come from? Well, there are many underlying reasons, but the biggest one is about blood. Essentially, many Koreans believe that their national identity is tied to their race of pure blood Koreans. In fact, you couldn’t serve in Korea’s military if you were of mixed race until 2010. If all this sounds vaguely naziesque it’s because it is. Why exactly do Koreans have this idea? Well their history of being isolated, colonized and attacked hasn't’ helped, but at this point I don’t care. Maybe this is slated to change in the near future, but as of now I don’t feel terribly welcome.

Let’s end on a hopeful note: Hanam city, where I live has a number of foreign teachers who are black. I have read that jobs will openly discriminate against you based on your skin color. So that's good news and hope to see that trend continue.

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Why is the Soju gone?

Time for something I like. I heard South Korea had a huge drinking culture, one that rivals that of the Russians and I think I know why: soju.

Soju is a colorless alcoholic beverage traditionally made from  rice, wheat, or barley, but today most distillers use potatoes. It ranges in proof, with the highest I've been able to find being 20.1%, though I’m positive there are higher proofs. It is exceptionally smooth and has a flavor that is hard to describe. The In comparison to another spirt, it tastes much more closely to water than vodka.

                       I really wish I knew how to re-size these photos.

Not only is soju tasty, but soju is also cheap. One bottle of soju typically cost around a buck and half and trust me, two bottles is plenty if your looking kill some brain cells. Yes, in Korea, you can get sufficiently wasted for the low, low price of $3.00.

Koreans also like to add a shot of soju to a glass a beer, which they call  poktanju, which means something like “liquor bomb.” I do a similar thing where I add a shot of soju to my soju.

There really should be a rainbow shooting out of the fridge every time it opens.

Soju is available in the states as well, although at much higher prices. So, next time you’re at the liquor store, see if you can’t get some. Warning: soju is the most dangerous thing I have ever drank. It is smooth and goes down like water and if you’re not careful, you’ll end up like many Koreans here do. Flat on your face.

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Fashion Faux Pas

Yes! Something I hate now! I don’t know why, but it is always way more fun to hate things than to love them. Which brings us to a plague that has beset young couples all across Korea. Something that makes want to burns buildings and riot in rage. I’m talking about the phenomenon of matching couples attire.

For all of you who instinctively punched your computer screens, you have my                                               sincerest apologies.

I’m not usually one to rag on someones style, but this trend just makes my blood boil. The worst part about it, is it is everywhere. You can’t escape these fawning couples and their stupid matching clothes. South Korean men stand up for yourselves! Have you no self respect?

                                     Oh, I’m, um sorry I asked...

I have no idea what is motivating this trend, but please stop! It’s not cute. This is the human equivalent of putting your tiny little dog in a dress. Men need some dignity too. I am of course assuming this is their girlfriend's idea. Who knows? Maybe some of these men are totally on board with this shit.

                      Well, except for this clearly unamused gentleman.

So, there is one minor thing that irritates me about Korea. Now don’t mistake this as the reason I am leaving the country, obviously. Just something that I hate and can[’t figure out. Also, if my girlfriend is reading this, I will not be pleased to you present me with some pretty, pink, fair bullshit to wear when I get home.

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Kimchi

As stated previously, I am leaving Korea and my job as soon a they find a replacement and I wanted to go on a rant about all the things I hated about Korea. Instead, I have decided to go with something I loved about Korea, and something I hated about Korea. Which bring us to something I love, kimchi.

Now for those of you who don’t know, kimchi is a traditional Korean side dish. It is basically rotten cabbage that has been left to ferment for several months. I know, doesn’t sound too appealing. I seriously wonder who the brave soul was who first tried that rotten, fermented mixture.

                  I swear I can smell it through my computer screen.

I ate kimchi before coming to Korea and to say I hated it would be an understatement, but now I’m in love with it. That’s because I was eating kimchi wrong. In the states, I only ever had it when I rarely got Korean food. In Korea, you get it for free with everything. I hate wasting food so I soon found myself stomaching it down till something amazing happened; I started to like it. You see, in order to like kimchi, you got to eat a shit load of it.

Yet, there is a dark side to kimchi, something no one told me about. It is addicting. Now i’m no stranger to addiction. I smoked a ton of cigarettes in Morocco and kicked the habit when I got home and it sucked. However, I cannot see me quitting kimchi. I eat kimchi for all three meals. I put it on sandwiches, eggs, and chicken. I put it on pizza and slap another slice of pizza on it to make a kimchi-pizza-sandwich. If I don’t get my daily dose of kimchi in, I am angry, irritable, maybe even twitchy.

                                  Y’all got any more of them kimchis?

Kimchi has become my new favorite food. It’s rich in fiber, vitamins and has the added bonus of keeping people far away from me by way of smell. Whatever happens after Korea I know this: I will still be eating kimchi.

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MERS and things

Well, I decided to start up the blog again. I am no longer in Morocco, though I do really want to return there someday. Instead, I find myself in Korea where, as of right now, 109 people are confirmed infected with the MERS virus, with 2800 quarantined and 9 people dead. Fears are in such a heightened state, that many schools, including mine, have been closed. So, here we are. 

This is probably the closest thing to a zombie apocalypse that I will experience. The usually lively streets are deserted like in the London scene from 28 Days Later. The park, where kids rent tiny little electric cars and constantly bump into each other, just like actual Korean drivers, is a ghost town. Signs have been placed all around the streets and buildings warning people to wash their hands. It’s all pretty spooky and people are visibly spooked.

                                   Like this but with less garbage.

I saw an elderly woman coughing on the side walk and everyone on it crossed the street to avoid getting near her. A teacher sneezed in class and a parent called in to complain about it. We had a 30 minute meeting about that incident. I made the mistake of coughing while eating some spicy food and the owner of the restaurant, from a safe distance, pointed me out of his store. 

For awhile, I was worried I was going to be quarantined due to a little prank I played on one of my classes. Since I can’t take anything seriously, I thought it would be fun to make my class think I had MERS. This was before the teachers meeting mind you. I showed them pictures of me on a camel and told them I would touch them if they misbehaved. It was the most well behaved class I’ve ever had.

Fun fact: these masks prevent you from spreading illness, they do nothing to                                             prevent you from getting it.

Now, I’m not concerned about catching the virus. Well, I’m a little concerned. I could do without being quarantined, but I’m not concerned about dying from it. All the deaths have been from old people who already had another illness. I do hope it will hasten my departure from this country though. I have had some issues living here, but I will talk about them another time.

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Old aqueduct I came across while wandering Seville at night.

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Carmel goat cheese dish, and some pics from a contemporary art museum based in an old monastery, Centro Andaluz de Arte Contemporaneo

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Did some euro-clubbing with Dean, a Chinese girl, and some Austr-Asians.

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More fine dining. Spanish meat and potatoes (almost melted in my mouth), molten lava cake (put all before it to shame), some very satiated gentlemen, and the blues brothers out side the restaurant.

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We splurged a bit on some high end tapas. One of the best meals I've eaten. An amazing sangria, tuna tar tar, foie gras (so good I almost forgot to take a pic), the look on my friend's face after his first bite of foie gras, our friend Dean (we met him in tangier), octopus dish, fried cheese and potatoes, the look on my face after a bite of that fried food, and some very good wine

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My first tapas in Spain. A salmon/egg cold soup and chicken covered in blu cheese over fries. Tapas originates in Spain and consists of small portions of food, so you're able to try a variety of dishes.

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The beer shelf at the Architect hostel in Seville. Look dad, they have Sam! (For my non-family members, my dad works for that company)