Trigger Warnings: angst, car accident, incorrect medical terminology, incorrect time line (I think), mean Felix, mean Lee Know, thoughts of leaving the group, hospitalization, major injury
Summary: You and Felix had moved to Korea together to pursue the dream of becoming an idol. After debuting together feelings came to light and you became each other's person. After a stressful few months with a world tour and comeback preparation Felix and Minho end up saying somethings that they don't mean. In a rush you leave the company building, getting into an accident, will this cause you to leave the company and group? Will your romantic relationship with Felix make it through this? Will your sibling like relationship with Lee Know ever be the same?
Photos are not mine, credit goes to the photographer
A/n: I hurt myself with this one. The way I wrote the boys is fictional and not how I see them (Felix and Lee Know).
Bang Chan | Lee Know | Seo Changbin | Hwang Hyunjin | Han Jisung | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin
Being the youngest member of Stray Kids came with both its benefits and its cons. Sometimes the members treated me like I was still a child but most of the time they treated me like I was an adult. I am 23, so I was 15 when we debuted and so Chan took on the role of parenting me even when he didn’t need to. He did that with all the members, in his mind we are all his children and he feels that protective instinct for all of us. So when any of us have a conflict he tries his best to stay neutral, but when it comes to his only “little girl” it becomes difficult. Not only being the youngest member but also being the youngest member of Aussie Racha makes his unintentional biasing harder to hide. When he was picking the members of Stray Kids he knew that Felix and I came from the same hometown and had been childhood friends, while he had been hesitant to have a female in an only male group he could tell that the friendship between Felix and I would probably be more helpful than not. Felix and I had been best friends since we were toddlers, our mothers had gone to school together and had in turn been best friends and had raised him and I together. When we initially moved to Korea we both didn’t know Korean and were learning it together. Our relationship had also initially been purely platonic but over time feelings grew and after the three year dating ban we began to explore those feelings and after 4 years of being in a group together we had made things official. And now 3 years later things couldn’t have been going better between him and I.
Present:
With the second half of the DominAte tour coming up things between the members and I have been strained, we were all tired and the traveling doesn’t help but we never let that affect us in the past. For the most part if we all take a break and regroup we are fine but things between Felix and I have been more strained than normal. Usually we hold a good work/personal life balance but recently we’ve been seeing each other more at work than we have at home. And with living together you would think that being able to see each other at home wouldn’t be an issue but it’s almost like when we are home he’s avoiding me. Whenever I try to ask the others if they’ve noticed him acting differently, they always say they haven’t noticed anything. I try to not let it get to me but when it’s your comfort person, it’s hard to. I’ve always been able to rely on Felix for comfort when my anxiety is high or when life is getting stressful but recently I haven’t been able to catch a moment alone with him.
At the Studio:
It was a day for VocalRacha to record our lines for the upcoming album, and DanceRacha was in the dance studio practicing. With everyone here and me already having recorded my lines I thought that it would be a good chance to go and watch Felix and the other two boys work on the choreo. It seemed like everyone today had a short fuse, but I didn’t think that me watching would set people off.
“Y/nnie, aren’t you supposed to be in the recording studio with Channie Hyung?" Hyunjin asked, sounding almost annoyed that I had entered the studio.
“I finished my lines, Seungmin still needs to record and Felix is still working with you two so I figured I’d come watch.”
“Y/nnie, we weren’t expecting an audience, and the choreo isn’t quite ready.” Minho tried to say nicely but it came out harsher than he meant.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think me being in here would be an issue, but I’ll head back to the recording studio. Will you tell Liix that I’m waiting for him, for whenever you guys finish?”
“We’ll let him know but you might want to head home. It’ll probably be a few more hours before we are done.” Hyunjin responded, knowing that Minho’s response wouldn’t be as nice.
“Oh, ok. Thank you anyways.” I say, trying not to sound disappointed.
After leaving the dance studio, I headed back to the recording studio to wait for Seungmin. I was hoping that he didn’t have much longer and that he could help me with the surprise that I wanted to do for Felix, I know that it wasn’t anywhere near his birthday but I wanted to do something nice for him, maybe get his spirits up.
“Y/nnie, I thought that you were going to watch the boys dance?” I.N asked when he noticed that I was back already.
“I was but they asked that I come back here. I guess they weren’t ready for someone to watch the new choreo yet.”
“You’re always welcome here yeobo.” Channie responded when he was finished with the current line.
“Thank you Channie-Oppa.” Right now it felt like the only people who weren’t annoyed with me were the people in this room.
While watching Seungmin record his lines and Chan help direct him when needed, I could feel myself getting tired. I knew that we would still be here for a while since Seungmin still had a bit to record and none of the boys liked it when I went home alone. Worrying about my safety, not only as a female but also the youngest member of the group. The studio was cold and I dumbly had left my jacket at home. I had remembered that this morning Felix had brought one with him, and with them dancing he wouldn’t be wearing it so he shouldn’t mind that I’d want to steal it for a little while.
Quietly I slipped out of the studio and made my way back upstairs, when I got close to the dance studio I could hear the current title track playing, meaning that they’d be in a serious headspace and not want any distractions. As quietly as I could I tried to sneak into the studio, but as soon as the door opened I heard the music stop and I could feel three pairs of eyes on me. Sheepishly I turned towards the three boys, waving softly while I continued to walk over to where I saw Felix’s hoodie.
“What are you doing back y/n?” Minho’s voice carried through the studio.
“I just came to grab Lix’s hoodie and then I’ll be out of your hair.” I say sheepishly, feeling like I got caught doing something I shouldn’t be doing.
“Well hurry up please, we are trying to finish this choreo and these interruptions aren’t helping.” Minho said.
“I’m sorry, really. I wasn’t trying to be an interruption.” I say as I grab the hoodie, looking at Felix to see if he’s ok with me taking it. But he doesn’t look at me.
I leave the studio before any of them can say anything else, still not even sure if Felix was ok with me taking his hoodie but I wasn’t about to turn around and ask him and cause further trouble. When I slipped back into the recording studio, I.N looked up from his phone ready to ask where I had gone when he spotted Felix’s hoodie.
“Innie, have you noticed anything off with Felix-Oppa recently?” I ask, hoping to find answers to his odd behavior.
“He hasn’t been acting any different with me. Still his bubbly sunshine self. Why, is he acting differently with you?”
“Yeah, when I went up to borrow his hoodie, he wouldn’t even look at me and when I was up there earlier he was nowhere to be found. It almost feels like he’s trying to avoid me.”
“I wouldn’t worry too much about it, maybe he’s just stressed with all the comeback preparations that we are still needing to do. Or maybe it’s his back.”
“Thank you for your help Innie. I do really appreciate it.”
Two Hours Later:
With Seungmin finally done with his recordings we were able to head home, from the sounds of it DanceRacha was nowhere near done with going over their choreo. Before we left, I had Seungmin run Felix’s hoodie back up. After the reaction I got when I went to grab it, I didn’t want to cause any more issues than I already had. Once Seungmin was back, we made our way down to the company car that would take us home. It seemed like he was in a good mood, from the sounds of things recording went well and he finished sooner than they thought.
“Minnie, will you help me surprise Felix?”
“Of course.” He seemed genuinely excited to help surprise Felix.
“I want to upgrade his gaming setup, but I don’t want to accidentally mess things up.”
“I can help with that, do you already have stuff in mind or were you also wanting help with that?”
“I have stuff in mind. I just need help getting it home, and then setting it up. I don’t want to mess up his current stuff.”
“That’s understandable, I can help with that.”
After agreeing to help me, he tells the driver to head to the store first rather than home, not wanting to waste time by stopping by the dorms to grab his car. I really appreciate the fact that he wanted to help me with surprising Felix. I hope that this surprise would make him less stressed or at least less distant. I miss having the sunshine Felix around, even though it seems like I’m the only one that isn’t getting him.
After we got everything and went home. He had me sit aside while he moved everything and set it up, he knew more on how to set it up than I would have. He made sure that everything was saved the same way that it had been on his old set up and would work the way that it was supposed to. I helped him move the boxes down to the trash and then cleaned up the area, making sure that it was nice and neat for when Felix got home, making sure it was ready for him to play.
When Felix got home, he seemed to be in a worse mood than he was earlier at the studio, it almost seemed like things might not have gone well after I had left. I began to wonder if Minho had been too hard on him again, causing his back to flair up again. When he got home, he didn’t even say hello to me, but still saying hello to Seungmin, and then immediately went to the bathroom to shower. Seungmin looked at me in surprise, having never seen Felix outright ignore me, I tried to not let it get to me but after what happened today and what has been happening I couldn’t help but worry about what that might mean for him and I. It wasn’t until after he got out of the shower that I was made aware of how bad things truly were.
“Y/n. Did you touch my gaming setup?” Felix yelled from his bedroom, with slight anxiety I looked at Seungmin. He looked back at me, almost as if to say that he’d have my back with whatever happened.
“Yes, I did. I wanted to do something nice for you.”
“How many times have I told you not to touch my stuff?” He yells back angrily, not realizing that I was in the room.
“I’m sorry Felix. I didn’t mean to upset you, I truly just wanted to do something nice for you. I’ve seen how stressed you’ve been. I thought that if I surprised you, you’d like it. That maybe we could set up your old set up and we could game together.”
“Y/n, you know that gaming is my me time and I want it to stay that way.”
“Right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed.”
“Can you just leave, go to your room or something? Stop being so goddamn clingy all the time? I would have thought that you’d have gotten the hint after I stopped spending so much time with you but apparently you can’t get it through your thick head that I need space. I don’t want to spend 24/7 with you. Sometimes I wish that you had been fully eliminated, then I would have something that’s fully mine, not something that I share with you.”
“You don’t really mean that do you? I thought you liked that we debuted in the same group?”
“No y/n, I truly mean it. I’ve always had to share things with you. Not one thing has been mine alone and then we debuted in the same group and then not even my dream was my own, I had to share that with you. And then the dating, you can get so tiring sometimes. Always wanting something from me.”
“What are you saying Felix?” I ask, willing myself to not cry.
“I wish we weren’t in the same group and I wish that we weren’t dating. But if we break up then it affects the whole group, so now I have to suffer because I had to be stupid.” His words cut me, as if they were a knife, they landed right where he meant them to.
“Right. I’m sorry, I’ll get out of your hair.”
I don’t wait for a response from him, instead rushing out of the apartment, ignoring the fact that Seungmin was calling after me. Against what any of the members would have wanted me to do I walk to the company building, hoping that I could find comfort in one of the older members. I was hoping that Channie was still there, but with the fact that Seungmin had finished and I.N didn’t have many lines left to record, I wasn’t sure if he’d still be there. When I entered the building and got up to the recording studio I noticed all the lights were off which meant that he had left. With hopes that maybe Minho or Hyunjin would still be here, I know they were annoyed earlier but maybe if I explained what happened they’d be understanding and offer some comfort.
When I got up to the studio only Minho was still there, going over the final counts of the choreo. With a soft knock to announce myself, I left myself in. I tried to dry my tears but they kept coming and I finally just gave up, getting tired of rubbing my cheeks raw. When Minho saw that it was me entering his face fell slightly, I tried to not let that get to me. I was about to ask if I could talk to him but he had beaten me to it. The comfort that I was hoping for was not coming from Minho.
“Why are you back?” He asked sharply.
“Could I maybe talk to you?” I say shyly, flinching back a little.
“Couldn’t you bother Felix or Seungmin?” He asks.
“It’s kind of about Felix.”
“Oh did you finally annoy him enough like you have the rest of us?” He says even more harshly.
“What?”
“Why do you think he’s been so distant y/n? It’s because you’ve been annoying him.”
“I-I thought that he said that because he was tired and overworking himself.”
“He was telling you the harsh truth. And honestly thank god he did.”
“D-do you agree with him?”
“Truthfully, yes. Yes I do, I get that you are the youngest and we always say Maknae on Top but you abuse that term so much.”
“I don’t mean to. H-how do I abuse it?” I ask, feeling even more shy now.
“Always wanting your way, always wanting attention, taking things without permission, and if you don’t get your way you throw a fit. You are always in the way and my god y/n it gets tiring after a while. Not everyone wants to hang out with you.”
“O-oh. I’m sorry, truthfully.”
“And to be honest I wish Chan had listened to me when I told him that having a girl in an all male group wouldn’t go well and I wish that Felix would have listened when I told him that dating within the same group wouldn’t go well.”
“S-so you also wish that I hadn’t come back from the eliminations? Or that Felix and I had started dating?”
“Truthfully, I do wish you hadn’t come back from the eliminations and I do wish that you and Felix had never started dating because now if you two ever break up it’ll cause issues in the group.”
“I see.”
“I get what Chan was trying to do but it wasn’t meant to happen with our group.” he said, his eyes holding a type of coldness I didn’t know he could have towards someone in his group.
“I see, I’m sorry for causing issues.”
I don’t wait for his response. Instead I quickly got up, rushing out of the studio before he could see the tears. If he thinks the same things as Felix, now I wonder who else in the group has the same thoughts. Maybe everyone has the same thoughts as them. As I make my way out of the company building, I don’t pay much attention to the surroundings around me, to focussed on the thoughts running through my head. The longer I think about what both of them have said the harder the tears fall and the harder it becomes to breathe. Before I realize it, I’m crossing the street, not looking for any passing cars. It's too late by the time I hear the blaring horn, it’s only momentarily that I feel the pain of impact before everything goes cold and dark.
Back at the apartment:
Seungmin’s POV:
I ran after y/n as she ran out of the apartment, but she was too far into her head to hear me calling after her. I figured that she was going to the company, so after sending a quick text to Chan to let him know, I ran back up to ask Felix what the fuck that was. Not once have I ever heard him talk to her like that and part of me can’t believe that he even spoke to her like that.
“Felix, what the fuck was that?” I asked as soon as I entered the apartment.
“I don’t know. It’s like the moment I saw her standing in my room I just saw red and lost my filter. Except that filter was to thoughts that held no truth.” Felix said, pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair.
“You know that there is probably no coming back from what you said to her, right?”
“God, no. I can’t lose her Seungmin. She’s been my rock since we were kids.”
“If she’s been your rock then why the fuck would you say that to her, even if you were stressed.”
“I don’t know.”
“You wouldn’t have said those words unless they held some truth Felix. Even if you didn’t mean to say it, they held some truth.”
“Deep down yes, but no part of me wishes that they were true, no part of me wanted to actually tell her that. I love her, I want to spend my life with her.”
“Well, I hate to say it Felix but you might have just ruined that for yourself.”
“Please, please help me fix this. I can’t lose her.”
“Felix, I can’t help you fix this. This has to be something that you fix on your own, if you truly want to fix this then you need to figure out where she is and fix it on your own.”
“I want to fix this, but I don’t know where to start.”
“You're panicking, as you rightfully should but you need to talk it through out loud. Talk it through with me, in her shoes.”
“Right, right. When she’s upset she goes to Channie Hyung. But Channie would be at the dorms by now, but she wouldn’t know that so she would have gone to the company looking for him.”
“What would happen when she finds out that he’s not there.”
“She’d look for another member in hopes of finding comfort, but the only member still there is Minho.” Felix said with a look of pure panic on his face.
“Felix, why do you look panicked? Could she not find comfort in Minho?” I asked confused.
“Because, Minho was already on a short fuse today and when she came in earlier he was annoyed by it. He’s been more annoyed with her recently and without someone there to keep him in check he might say something. The comfort that she’d be seeking, she wouldn’t get from him.”
“Felix, you need to find her before Minho makes things worse. Or try and fix things if he already has.”
“I’m heading to the company.”
“I’ll let Chan know.”
Felix’s POV:
Deciding not to take the time to call a manager to have them drive me, I ran to the company. By the time I reached the company I was out of breath but that didn’t matter to me, the only thing mattered was that I needed to find Minho or y/n, hopefully both. I needed to fix things with y/n, I couldn’t lose her due to my own stupidity and a moment of weakness where I said something that I didn’t truly mean. When I got up to the dance studio only Minho was there and by the looks of it y/n had already been there.
“Minho, where is y/n?”
“She just left? Why? It sounded like you had said what you were feeling.” He said, sounding annoyed.
“I said something that I didn’t mean, in a moment of anger.”
“So telling her that you wish she wasn’t part of the group and that you weren’t dating was said out of anger and not out of truth?”
“Deep down it was partly true but the thought of her not being in my life makes me feel like I cannot breath. I don’t want to lose her Minho, I can’t lose her because I was stupid and said something stupid.”
“I don’t know where she is Felix, and honestly I don’t care. I know you might not have meant it but I think Chan was wrong when he thought that it was a good idea to have a girl in an all male group.”
“What?” I say, stepping back in shock.
“She has caused more drama than there would have been if it was an all male group. Don’t get me wrong Felix, she is an amazing person and an amazing artist but I think that she would have been better suited in a girl group.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do Felix.”
“So if tomorrow it came out that she was no longer part of this group, you’d be happy about it?” I asked him, before he answered there was a moment of hesitation.
“Yes.”
“You hesitated. Minho, y/n has always been there for all of us. Yes, she’s younger than us but if she weren’t part of this group you’d hate it. I know you would, you see her like a little sister.”
“Maybe you are right but that doesn’t change what I said.”
“Then we need to find her and apologize and beg for her forgiveness and hope that she does forgive us.”
“What we need to do is sleep and look in the morning. Knowing how responsible she is, she went to a manager's house.”
“Are you sure, sure that we shouldn’t at least look a little?”
“No, we need to sleep and then look tomorrow.”
“Fine. But at first light we look for her.”
“We will.”
Your POV:
The first thing I feel when I wake up is blinding pain, it feels like every bone in my body has been broken. When I try to open my eyes it’s like they are made of lead, taking more strength than I have to open them. Breathing feels like I’m breathing through water, like I can’t catch my breath. When I finally get my eyes open, all I see is white blinding light, and I can’t breathe. I feel something down my throat, I try to reach up for it but nurses are rushing towards me, preventing me from pulling at the breathing tube. The nurses calmed me down, finally continuing down from three before pulling it out. I gag and choke on it before I begin to breathe on my own again. When I look around, I notice that the only person in the room with me is my manager. I don’t remember anything that happened but I could tell that I was in the hospital and whatever did happen was serious.
“I’m glad to see that you are finally awake. Do you know where you are?” The doctor asks.
“I think I’m in the hospital.”
“Do you remember what happened?”
“Not really, I just remember a bright light and then pain, and then waking up here.” I say with a hint of confusion in my voice.
“You were hit by a car, the impact threw you high into the air before you landed around 10 meters away. It’s a miracle that you survived, you have multiple broken ribs, your leg and ankle on your right leg were shattered on impact and your left wrist and arm were also broken. Thankfully you didn’t hit your head, somehow. You were in a medically induced coma for just over two weeks.”
“I’ve been out for two weeks? Do my members know?” I turn to look at my manager.
“At this moment no, they believe that you are on personal leave.” my manager responded.
“Why didn’t you tell them?”
“I wanted to tell them but the company wanted me to wait until you wake up.”
“Please, I want to see them.” forgetting what Minho and Felix had said to me.
“I will go to the company and let them know.”
At the Company:
Felix’s POV:
It had been two weeks since y/n had been to practise, all her manager had said was that she was on personal leave and that she would be for the foreseeable future. We were running through warm ups when her manager came into the dance studio, they looked pale and almost like they were about to throw up.
“Boy’s I need you to all sit down for me.” her manager said, speaking over the music.
“Is everything ok?” Channie asked, sitting down.
“Not entirely.”
“What is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Changbin said, sitting down next to Chan.
“I have some news about y/n. It’s not easy news to hear.”
“Is she ok?” I ask before I can stop myself.
“She’s in recovery, but there's been an accident.”
“What kind of accident?” Han asks, suddenly more alert.
“She was in a car accident, two weeks ago.”
“Why are we just now hearing about this? Why weren’t we told two weeks ago?” Chan asks, starting to get mad.
“Before you get mad, I am the middle man, the company wouldn’t let me tell you without risking my job. She’s awake now and alert, she’s talking and remembers everything. She’s asked for all of you.” Both Minho and I looked at each other in surprise at that.
“Please Channie, let us go see her. I want to see to myself that she’s ok.” Seungmin asks.
“Of course we will go see her.”
Your POV:
As I wait for the boys to show up I begin to remember what had caused me to be in such distress, I remember what Minho and Felix had said to me. I can feel the panic begin to rise at the thought of seeing Felix and Minho. I thought that I wanted to see everyone but after what they had said I don’t want to see them. Before I see the rest of the boys, I want to make one of their wishes come true, it’s the least that I can do for them. When I noticed that my manager had returned I waved her over, having made up my mind.
“M/n, I need you to do a favor for me.”
“Anything, especially after what you’ve been through.”
“I want to break my contract.”
“What do you mean you want to break your contract? You want to leave the group?”
“Yes, I thought that everyone was in agreement with me being in the group but I now know that this was not true. I don’t want to make things harder for the group by staying.”
“You know that this won’t be an easy thing to do.”
“I’m aware. But it’s what I want.”
“If you are certain then I’ll have the company draw up the paperwork.”
Before I can respond, Chan is bursting into the room, having overheard the conversation between me and my manager. I can see the panic on his face at the thought that I might be leaving the group, especially after having already had one member leave. I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting them like that but I also can’t stand the thought of being in the group when two of the members don’t want me in the group because if two of them don’t want me in the group, then how many of the others don’t want me in the group? I can’t stand the not knowing anymore, any trust that I had has now been broken.
“Y/nnie, you can’t leave the group.” Channie all but begs.
“Wait, she wants to leave the group? Y/nnie, you can’t leave?” Han cries out as he rushes into the room.
“Y/n, you're our Maknea, we can’t lose you. I don’t want to be the Maknae.” I.N cries out holding onto Han for once.
“Y/n, please don’t let my harsh words be the reason for you wanting to leave the group.” Minho says shyly, standing near the back of the group.
“Wait, what do you mean by your words?” Changbin turns towards Minho, looking angry.
“Wait, please. Do not blame him, this is my choice.” I call out trying to get their attention.
“Y/n, I am so sorry. I meant nothing of what I said to you, I don’t want you to leave and I don’t want things to end between us.” Felix begs as he grabs onto my hands.
“Felix, our relationship was over the moment you said you wished that I wasn’t in the group and that we weren’t dating.”
“Please, I didn’t mean it.”
“How can I trust that you didn’t mean it? Any trust that I had in you has been ruined Felix.”
“Ok, hold on. Everyone, let's just take a moment.” Chan tries to get the attention of everyone.
“HEY. SHUT IT AND SIT DOWN!” Seungmin yells, getting the attention of everyone. Everyone sits down, looking like they were scolded by a parent.
“Thank you Seungmin. Now y/n what do you mean that you want to leave the group?” Chan finally turns back towards me.
“If it is more beneficial to the rest of the group then I will leave, I cannot stand the thought of staying when I know that more than one member wants me gone.” I say, looking down at my hands.
“What do you mean that there is more than one member who wants you to leave the group?” Chan asks, trying to clarify.
“Please, do not be mad at them. But Felix and Minho have made me aware of the fact that my place in the group does not make as much sense as I thought.”
“That’s crazy talk y/nnie.” Han calls out to me.
“Y/n, what I said, it was said in a moment of anger. It was said to hurt, but in no way was it true. I don’t want you to leave.” Minho tries.
“It’s ok Minho, I get it. Being in a group with all guys and then only one girl isn’t the most appealing idea.”
“Y/n. I was wrong, not having you in the group is like not having water in a swimming pool, it just doesn’t make sense. You belong in this group just as much as the rest of us, if not more.” Minho tries again.
“I-I don’t know what to say.” I say, beginning to cry.
“You belong with us, you belong in this group.” All of the boys say together.
“Y/n, even if our relationship isn’t saveable, please do not leave the group. I can’t imagine not being able to see you everyday. Before you were my girlfriend you were my best friend. I can’t lose my best friend too.”
“I-I don’t know. How can I really trust that you all want me to stay?” I say, tears already falling down my face.
“We’ll take a lie detection test, or something but please don’t leave. I don’t want to lose my only little sister.” Minho says, crying for the first time since the survival show.
“I-I’ll stay but I don’t think t-things will ever b-be the same.” I say, in between sobs.
“We will work to earn back your trust, just please stay.” Minho adds.
“Can you all give Felix and I a moment?” I ask shakily.
“Sure, we’ll be outside if you need us.” Chan says as he ushers the rest of the boys out of the room. After everyone left, I looked at Felix, who was already looking at me.
“Please, y/nnie you have to know that I didn’t mean it.”
“Felix, I can’t trust that you didn’t mean it. The look on your face was so cold, it was like there was no feeling left.”
“I’m so sorry y/n, I never meant to make you feel like this. Please let me prove to you that I didn’t mean it.”
“I want to believe you Felix, but I can’t.”
“Is there anything that I can do to prove to you that I didn’t mean it?”
“I don’t think so Felix. I think that this is the end for us.”
“Please don’t mean that, I can’t lose you.”
“Felix, we might be able to go back to being friends but I don’t think I can ever trust you again.”
“There’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”
“No Felix, I don’t think there is.”
“If I can’t have you in my life as my girlfriend, then I will accept it. I don’t want to lose you, if I can only have you as a friend then I will accept that. But I will always love you.”
Over the next few months, with the limited things I am able to do I watch the boys practice and go over lines when I have the energy. I miss being able to dance but I know that if I push my body before it is ready it’ll lead to more harm than good. Over the last few months both Minho and Felix have gone to great lengths to prove that they regret what they had said and that they did not mean it. While Minho goes about it in a more quiet way, bringing me food and drinks without asking, helping move heavier items for me and always keeping an extra jacket around, Felix has gone about it in a more personal and romantic way even when he doesn’t mean to. He shows it in the form of random brownies, offering to carry me when he notices that I am tired, letting me use him as a pillow like I did when we were younger and together, constant check-ins, and with the help of Han, random songs that he’s written and sang.
Over time, as I heal and the less that I need to rely on Felix and Minho, they double down on their efforts and make sure that even if I don’t need their help I know that they are there for me if I need it. Without even meaning to, Felix and I grow close to each other like we had been before the accident. I try not to let myself but as he proves himself everyday I begin to fall for him all over again. Part of me is scared to let him back in and part of me misses what we had, and that same part wonders what could have happened had I forgiven him back at the hospital. Would he have tried so hard to show how sorry he is, or would he have gone back to how distant he was before the accident. I was so far into my head that I didn’t notice that Felix was calling my name.
“Y/n, are you ok? You look flush, are you feeling ok?” Felix rushes over, asking worriedly.
“I’m ok, I guess I just got so far into my head.”
“Do you want to talk about it? I’m always here to listen.”
“I think we probably should talk.”
“The last time you said something like that, we broke up. Should I be worried?” He tried to joke but I could see the heartbreak in his eyes and hear it in his voice still.
“I don’t think so, but it is serious.”
“Ok, why don’t we go to that café we used to go to?”
“I’d like that.”
At the Café:
Once Felix ordered me a hot chocolate and him a tea, we sat down at a corner table that was somewhat out of sight. He looked nervous but was trying to hide it, and I didn’t want to make it worse for him by delaying the conversation.
“What did you want to talk about?” Felix asked after a few minutes.
“I wanted to talk about us.”
“What about us?”
“I know I said that there was no way for you to prove that you were sorry, and truthfully at the time there wasn’t. But over time as we’ve spent time together and you’ve been my friend again I can’t help but fall for you all over again. I didn’t mean to but I seem to have fallen all over again.”
“What are you trying to say?” He asks, trying to not sound hopeful.
“I want to try again, but slowly.”
“Do you really mean it?”
“I do, but I want to start over. And I want to go slow.”
“We will go at whatever pace you want, I don’t want to mess this up again. These last months have felt like torture.”
Epilogue:
Four Months Later:
Over the next four months the new relationship between Felix and I was not necessarily strained but it was harder than it had been before. The hesitancy was still there on my part but Felix was always understanding and never pushed when he saw that I was uncomfortable. When he saw that I was in my head about something he would sit down with me and talk to me about what is going through my head, never judging me and never making me feel bad when I get insecure again. It was a rare day that Felix and I had off together, spending it together, with my leg still messed up. It was nice to not have to go anywhere.
“Aegi I know I say it often now but I wanted to say it again, thank you for giving me another chance.” Felix says as he pulls me into him on the couch.
“I also want to thank you for being so patient and understanding with me.”
“Of course, I’d do anything for you. I was an idiot once, but I will never do that again.”
“I know, I know you won't." I say, leaning into him, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. You can ask me anything.”
“Why do you never fully kiss me, we haven’t kissed since we broke up.” Felix asks me, almost too shy to look at me.
“I don’t know, I guess part of me has been too shy to do it myself.”
“If I were to kiss you, would it in any way make you uncomfortable?” Felix asks, turning to look at me fully.
“No, it wouldn’t make me uncomfortable. If I am to be honest, I miss kissing you, I miss fully cuddling with you.”
“Then, may I kiss you? And any time you want to cuddle or kiss or hug, all you need to do is ask and I will gladly do so.” Felix asks, leaning in closer.
“Yes, Lix, you may kiss me.” When I use his nickname I can see the happiness and shock on his face.
Slowly he leans in, stopping just a hairs length away from my lips to give me the chance to pull away if I wanted, when he sees that I do not want to pull away he closes the distance. The kiss is slow and soft, it feels like the beginning of something new and fresh, something that both Felix and I need. Neither he nor I deepen the kiss, but we also don’t pull away, not wanting to end the new intimacy quite yet. But soon we both need air and have to pull away, but Felix doesn’t pull away far, he rests his forehead against mine still looking deep into my eyes.
“Aegi, I think that you should talk to Minho. I know he still feels awful about what happened, and I know that he misses his little sister.”
“I’ll talk to him, if I’ve forgiven you, then he deserves the same. At least to be heard.”
“I think that he’d appreciate that.”
“I’ll see him tomorrow. For today I just want to spend the rest of the day with you, I miss being held by you.”
“I miss holding you. I miss everything that we had, but I am glad that we are starting anew. Our relationship now will be stronger than before.”
For the rest of the day Felix and I laid on the couch, not doing much other than enjoying each other's company. After a while we both fell asleep, with him somehow maneuvering himself underneath me, with my head on his chest. When Seungmin came home from his schedule he found Felix and I asleep on the couch, he didn’t say anything but he did sneak a photo that he later sent to the group chat.
The next day:
I had promised Felix that I would meet with Minho today, while I had promised that, I was still nervous. The relationship that we had before my accident had disappeared and hadn’t been fixed. Yes he had been trying and it had made a difference but we hadn’t sat down and truly talked, and yes part of that was because I hadn’t worked up the guts to actually talk to him. I could tell from the few interactions that we had that he was sorry, but part of me was still scared to talk to him again. But I knew that if I gave Felix the chance to apologize and earn my forgiveness, then I should give Minho the same chance. Felix and Seungmin dropped me off at the company building so that I could meet with Minho, both knowing that even if I could drive I wouldn’t be able to due to the nerves. After making my way up to the dance studio, I found Minho practicing alone.
“Hi Minho-Oppa. I believe Lix told you that I wanted to talk?” I said quietly when I opened the door.
“He did, and I’m glad that you wanted to talk.” He says, pausing the music.
“Can we sit down?” I ask as I make my way over to the couch.
“Of course yeobo, whatever you need to feel comfortable.” he says, trying out the nickname that he’s heard Channie call me.
“I know that you’ve been trying Minho, and I appreciate it. I want to talk about what you said that night.”
“Of course, I’ll answer whatever questions you have.”
“Why did you say it?”
“I was upset and annoyed, not at you. But with the choreo and with everything and I took it out on the easiest target. I regret it so much because I hurt the one person who had always been there for me.”
“Was it really not because of me? You looked so cold and sounded so cold when you said it.”
“Oh y/nnie, I’m so sorry. It was never because of you and I am so so sorry that I made you think that. I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that I never meant it, that I never meant it about you not belonging in this group and that you and Felix shouldn’t be together.”
“Do you really think that Felix and I shouldn’t be together?”
“God no, if anyone should be together it is you and Felix. You two are perfect for each other. In the months that you two weren’t together, Felix wasn’t himself, he was sad and depressed. He needs you just like you need him.”
“I miss having you in my life.”
“I miss having my little sister. Even as an only child, you were the closest thing I have to a younger sister and the fact that I almost threw that away because of stress is absolutely crazy to me. I miss when you’d call me MinMin or Minnie.”
“I thought that you hated when I’d call you that. You always used to complain?”
“I complained out of love, but the moment you stopped calling me those nicknames I thought I had lost you for good.”
“So if I started calling you those again, you wouldn’t mind?”
“Not at all, I might complain in front of the boys but I don’t actually mean those complaints.” He says, pulling me into him gently to give me a hug.
“Then can I see the new choreo Minnie?” I ask, with a tease in my voice.
“Of course.”
For the rest of the afternoon he walks me through the new choreo and helps me with the bits that I am able to do with my limitations. Later on Felix and Hyunjin join to go over the choreo with Minho. For a moment my anxiety spikes, my brain goes back to the night of the accident but before I can get too far into my head Felix comes over, kissing my head, easily pulling me out of my head.
“ Aegi, I want you here. No matter the time of day you are always welcome to watch us practice and if for some reason we stupidly say you aren’t, you are more than welcome to drag us by our ears to Channie Hyung so that he can chew our asses out for being idiots.” Felix says, kissing my head while pulling his hoodie over my head.
“You know me too well, you know that?”
“My goal is to know everything about you, you are it for me. I love you.” Felix kisses me quickly before heading back to Minho and Hyunjin.
“Felix, stop flirting with your girlfriend, we gotta go over the choreo before Chan chews our heads off for not having it finished.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.”
I watch them practice with a smile on my face. It’s not long before the rest of the boys join and it feels like my whole world is perfect again, or almost perfect. It will still be a while before I am able to join in the dancing again but even then they still include me with a wheelie chair, never letting me forget that I am their baby, their Maknea. I look at all of them in the mirror, a smile so big on my face that it almost hurts but I’m right where I want to be. I have my Felix and I have my group, and they will always have my back.
Bang Chan | Lee Know | Seo Changbin | Hwang Hyunjin | Han Jisung | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin
So it’s just another day on tumblr when a beloved mutual suddenly DMs you (or a random stranger) claiming that someone impersonated you and has scammed them out of $900 be it art or crypto. They tell you they’ve accidentally reported you by mistake and that the only way to clear up this issue is to contact someone on discord. They even show a screenshot claiming your account was reported for fraudulent activity and action must be taken within 24hrs or else your blog will be terminated. You just need to contact the “official” report dispute discord account in a timely manner and clear everything up!
You panic! You don’t want to lose your blog so you immediately DM the discord account who begins asking you questions before ultimately asking you to change your email address to theirs so they can ‘fix’ the flag on your account. All is well, and you assume that the false report is going to be cleared up…Right?
Unfortunately no. That’s not what happens.
You get locked out of your account and now the scammer logs in as you and starts to send the same message to anyone and everyone they find. The same message that now you accidentally reported the receiver and you need them to contact the same discord account to repeat the same process over and over again and you yourself seem to have no way of accessing your blog to stop the phishing. But don’t fear! You can fix this! Just contact the real support email and let them know you’ve been hacked and give them any information they may ask to confirm your the real owner of the blog.
Here are things to keep in mind:
- There is no official report dispute discord account ran by tumblr that isn’t a thing and has never been.
- Any discord account claiming to an official tumblr report dispute staff account is a scammer.
- You do not need to ever contact Discord for a tumblr related issue no matter how official the screenshot looks.
- This scam can affect anyone, even your friends. Keep them informed and if you can contact them offsite to let them know they’ve been hacked please do so they can get their account back faster.
- Reports are handled through the official tumblr tech support line and will never be through discord.
Warnings: Seungmin x Reader in the beginning, breakup, suicidal thoughts, angst, fluff, fluffy Changbin, happy ending.
Word Count: 5.9k
Summary: You and Seungmin had been dating for over two years, but as time went on you both realized that the relationship wasn't meant to continue. You agreed to be friends, and as time went on you got closer to Changbin again. But through spending time with Changbin, hidden feelings came to light and you aren't sure how to approach them anymore, because you don't want to hurt the two people who mean the most to you.
Screenshots: 3
photo's are not mine, photo credits go to photographers (except for text screenshots)
When I first got with Seungmin, I always thought that things would last between us. And for the first two years, it seemed like it would but as time went on, he seemed to pull away from me and by the time I even realized it, it was too late.
I don’t remember when I first noticed that Seungmin had started to pull away from me, because it had been so gradual. But soon he had stopped coming home as soon as practice ended, rather choosing to spend more time with the boys. The time between texts had become even longer than it already was, I knew that response times would be short, I had known that when we had first started dating. What I wasn’t prepared for was for him to actively start choosing to spend even less time with me. I knew things were changing, but I didn’t want to accept the fact that I would be losing the one person who I thought would always love me.
Whenever Seungmin was home, he was distant, constantly on his phone and when he was present in the moment with me, it felt like he was forcing himself to do it rather than doing it because he wanted to. His touch began to feel practiced and cold, not warm and welcoming like it always has before. Every kiss now felt like a favor, something he had to do because it was expected of him, and not because he wanted to kiss me anymore. When he used to have to stay late at the studio for various reasons, he used to always ask me if I wanted to stay with him even if he knew that I might say no, but he would ask because he wanted me there but now he never asked, never gave me the option to join him.
The relationship had always always felt warm and full of love but now it felt cold and estranged. I wanted to do everything in my power to fix it but when the other partner had no desire to fix it, there was no saving something that was already gone. I was mourning something that hadn’t even gone cold yet.
Present:
When Seungmin had told me that they were going on the DominATE tour and that he wouldn’t be home much for the next year or so, I knew that it would be hard on our relationship but I didn’t think that it would put such a strain on our relationship that it might end the relationship. I knew that it would be hard on us, just not that hard. He had said that our relationship would last forever and I was foolish enough to believe it. At first both of us made the effort to face time nightly and call when we couldn’t facetime, and when we couldn’t do either we would text as much as possible, but after christmas those started becoming less and less. Then right after the D.C show they pretty much stopped, I had to text the other boys just to find out how my boyfriend was doing.
When I got the text from his manager that they would be at the company building on August second and that’s when I could come pick Seungmin up, I didn’t know if I wanted to be excited or nervous after having barely heard from him. I knew that no matter what I would still have to pick him up because the others already had plans and wouldn’t be able to take him home. Based off his responses and the way he was acting, I knew that the relationship was already over, even if I didn’t want to accept it. Waiting in the dance studio was more nerve wracking than it ever had been before, I was excited to see the others but I had no idea how Seungmin would react to seeing me at the studio.
When most of the members got to the dance studio to say hello to those who were picking them up they just said a quick hello and gave a quick hug, though Changbin made sure to ask how I had been doing and made sure I knew that he wanted to catch up when our schedules aligned. I was thankful to have him as a friend, I had known him before I had met Seungmin, it was because of Changbin that I had actually been introduced to Seungmin. The last person to enter the dance studio was Seungmin. When I saw him, I held my breath, not knowing if I could hug him or what I could do anymore.
“What are you doing here?” Seungmin asked, not fully malicious but also definitely not happy to see me.
“I usually pick you up when you get back, I figured this time would be the same as before.”
“I didn’t need you to pick me up, you should have texted to see if I needed you to.”
“I thought that it might be nice to see each other, since we haven’t seen each other since your last break.”
“Let's just go home, I’m tired.”
I don’t say anything back and I don’t try to argue with him, I know that when we get back to the dorms whatever conversation we have isn’t going to be pretty. As I drive us, I try to keep my breathing even, but I know that I’m not doing a good job at it.
At the Dorms:
When we get inside, Seungmin turns to look at me with a deep sigh. I can tell that he’s thinking about how best to say something to me without adding more hurt than there already is. He doesn’t know that I’ve already figured it out, figured out that with the time apart he has fallen out of love, figured out that I am no longer what he wants, figured out that I am no longer in his happily ever after. I decide here and now that I need to rip off the bandaid and tell him that I already know.
“Seungmin, I already know.” I say quietly, not fully looking at him but more so looking out at the lights of Seoul.
“What do you mean?”
“I know, I know that your heart is no longer in this relationship.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t. Do not apologize for the way that you feel Seungmin.”
“Why are you not more broken up about this?”
“Oh trust me, I am. But I have to keep it together, I can’t fall apart here. Because if I fall apart here, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to pick the pieces back up.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you y/n.”
“I know, and that’s the worst part. I want to hate you, I really do but I can’t but you’re you and you would never intentionally hurt someone.”
“I wish I could change how I feel, I wish I could see a future with you again. But with the time apart, I just stopped feeling for you, I still care just not in the way that I used to, not in the way that you need or want me to.”
“I know, believe me Seungmin, I know.”
“There is no fixing us, is there?”
“No, I don’t think that there is.”
“But I don’t want to lose you y/n, you’re one of my best friends.”
“And you won’t lose me, but I need time. Time to heal and time to discover myself again.”
“Don’t let our break up prevent you from seeing the boys, please.”
“I’ll still see them, I promise.” I say as I slowly walk up to him, taking him in one last time, knowing that this was goodbye.
“Y/n, I know that my heart is not in it like it used to but can I please” he hesitates looking at me, almost worrying me.
“Can I kiss you one last time, as a final goodbye?” At that request, I can’t hold in the tears anymore. I know that I won’t be able to answer him verbally, so I nod at him knowing that this is probably something that both he and I need as closure.
When his lips touch mine softly one last time, I can taste the salty tears from both our eyes. The kiss is soft and sweet, short. When he pulls away, he pulls me into a hug, apologizing over and over again. I know that a part of him still loves me but he isn’t in love with me, and he was mature enough to realize that the difference between the two was one of the most significant things in a relationship. With one last hug, I leave the dorms, knowing that I would never be back.
Two Weeks Later:
I know that I promised I wouldn’t let the break up affect my relationship with the other boys but just trying to drag myself out of bed was enough work, it felt impossible to find the effort to try and meet up with them. I had received texts from a few of them checking in on me and asking if I wanted to hang out but I didn’t have the energy to put on a fake face and pretend that I was ok.
I thought that I had been doing a pretty good job at avoiding them and making it seem like I was just busy but it was only a matter of time before they got suspicious and started asking questions, I just thought that I had a little longer. I was deep into a tub of ice cream and some k-drama when I heard a knock on my front door, I tried to ignore it but the knocks kept getting more and more incessant. I didn’t bother to look through the peep hole, I already knew that it was one of the boys, when I opened the door I expected to see Felix or Han or even Chan but not Changbin. I know that he and I had been friends before I met the others but after I had begun dating Seungmin, our friendship had drifted apart.
“Binnie? What are you doing here?”
“Seeing why you’ve been dodging the guys. We’re all worried about you, but you won’t let us worry about you.”
“Worry about him, I’ll be ok.”
“But you clearly aren’t ok. You are deep into a tub of ice cream, watching some radon k-drama when you’d usually be picking up shifts at work or seeing if you could come by the studio.”
“I don’t want to be a bother, most of you guys were his friend first, it’s only fitting that you look after him first.”
“You were my friend first y/n, we are all worried about both of you. If you don’t want them worrying about you, then at least let me worry about you. Please.”
“I can’t, Binnie. I can’t.”
“Have you even actually let yourself grieve the end of the relationship yet?”
“I can’t. If I break now, I won’t be able to put myself back together.”
“Then let me, let me be here to support you y/n.”
With him begging to be there for me, I couldn’t keep it together anymore. I had held myself together for two weeks but it all came to a breaking point when Changbin showed up, he gave me one look and pulled me into his arms. He let me sob into his chest, slowly rocking us back and forth, trying his best to calm me down. Eventually he maneuvered us over to the couch, he didn’t give me the chance to argue with him, he just pulled me down onto him, holding me tight and letting me continue to cry into him. I don’t know how long I laid there with him crying, but he never once complained, just held me through it and continued to ground me. He let me break down, knowing that he would be able to pick up the pieces that I wasn’t able to.
I was crying for so long that I ended up falling asleep and not once did Changbin complain that I was lying on him, he just laid there and held me. I knew that at some point he would have to go back to his dorm but I didn’t want to get up, he was so comfy and this had been the best sleep that I had gotten in the last two weeks.
“I know you're awake y/nnie.”
“Mhm. You’re just so comfy, like a giant teddy bear.”
“Well this giant teddy bear does have to go home at some point.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” I realized that I was probably making him uncomfortable but he was just too kind to say anything, so I quickly got up off of him, letting him sit up.
“Hey, hey, it’s ok.” I didn’t know what else to say to him, so I just kept quiet as I watched him pack to leave. I truly didn’t mean to make him uncomfortable, and knowing that I did made me feel even worse than I had been.
After he left, I sat on the couch feeling even worse than I was earlier. Not only had I lost Seungmin, but I had possibly just lost Changbin as well. I had just lost possibly the only other person that I could rely on to be my support while going through this.
Two Weeks Later:
I had hoped that Changbin would blame my lapse in judgment on being tired and heartbroken but after he left, I hadn’t heard from him at all. I truly hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable, I was just looking for comfort in someone that I trusted but in turn I took that trust for granted.
Over the next two weeks I tried my best to continue living but it became harder and harder to pretend that I was ok when all I wanted was for the ground to swallow me up and never let me go. I knew that my relationship with Seungmin was over, I knew that, and I was ok with that but I couldn’t handle losing my relationship with Changbin. I knew that if I got to a really bad mental place I could text Seungmin and he would come over and help, I just didn’t want him to feel like I was still relying on him. But as time went on I noticed that my mental health declined more and more, and I knew that if I stayed by myself for much longer I would fall back into my depressive mind space and end up trying to hurt myself. I sucked up my pride and texted Seungmin, knowing that he would still be there to help me when I needed it.
Seungmin’s POV:
I knew that if I was the one to go over and try to help y/n it would make the healing process worse for the both of us. I also knew that she and Changbin had a close friendship before she and I dated, and during the time that we dated Changbin put aside his feelings for her because he wanted her to be happy. I know that two weeks ago he came over to help her and something happened that caused him to freak out and he hasn’t been back to her apartment since, but I also knew that he was the best person to send over. When I started liking y/n, I didn’t know about Changbin’s feelings for her, he had done an amazing job at hiding them but over time small slip-ups happened and I noticed. If I had known I would have never pursued her, I would never do that to my best friend.
I know that y/n and I haven’t been broken up for very long but I want her to move on and be happy and I know that she would be happy with Changbin Hyung. I know he won’t go to her unless he gets the push from me, and right now both of them need that push.
Your POV:
I don’t know how long it had been since I got the text message from Seungmin, he said that someone else was going to come over but now it felt like no one was coming. It feels like I’m just destined to be alone, and maybe I truly am. The longer that I sit here alone, the more the pills and sharps seem appealing to me. I know I promised Seungmin I wouldn’t do anything but maybe everyone would be better off without me.
Just as I stood up to go and unlock the box that contained everything, there was a sharp knock at my front door. Whoever was there had cruel but amazing timing, ignoring the urge to ignore the person at my door, I rushed to open it. I expected maybe Chan or Felix, definitely not Changbin.
“Changbin? What are you doing here?”
“Seungmin said that you needed some company, so he sent me.”
“I’m glad that you are here.”
“I’m glad that I can be here for you. I’m sorry that I’ve been such a crappy friend recently.”
“It’s my fault Binnie, I’m the one who made you uncomfortable.”
“Uncomfortable? When on earth did you make me uncomfortable?”
“The last time you were over? When I fell asleep on you? You haven’t been over since and have been practically MIA.”
“Y/nnie, you didn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m sorry that I made you think that you did.”
“Then why did you disappear on me?” I ask as I let him inside, slowly walking back over to my couch.
“There was some stuff that I needed to figure out, but I should have told you that instead of just disappearing on you.” he says as he sits down next to me.
“I’m still sorry. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep on you like I did.”
“Y/nnie. I want you to feel comfortable enough to sleep on me, and rely on me. I want to be your comfort person.”
“Binnie, you already are.”
“Y/nnie, you can’t say that to me and expect me to keep cool.”
“What do you mean?”
“Y/n, I know that you and Seungmin only broke up a month ago but I can’t keep it in anymore. I have loved you for years, I was fine standing off to the side as your best friend because you were happy but now you aren’t happy. I want to be the reason the light returns to your eyes, the reason why you smile.”
“Changbin, I-I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. I just need you to know.”
“A part of me wants to explore and see but I can’t do that to Seungmin. You are his best friend, like a brother to him. I can’t do that to him.”
“Y/n, he’s the one who sent me over here, he knows how I feel about you. He wants you to be happy, he wants me to be happy. If you don’t believe me, I have text messages with him to prove it.”
“I want to see them. Unless he says that he’s ok with this, I cannot do that to him.”
He quickly pulled out his phone to show me the messages between him and Seungmin, showing me that Seungmin was ok with Changbin pursuing me. With the weight of betraying Seungmin off my chest, I could let myself think about the possibility of being with Changbin as more than just friends.
“I want to explore a relationship with you Binnie, but my heart isn’t ready.”
“I know, that isn’t why I am here. I’m here because you need support.”
“I don’t want to put a label on whatever we might become yet, but I want exclusivity.”
“Y/n, you are all who I want. I don’t want anyone else, there is no one else for me but you.”
“Give me time to heal, but know that I want to explore with you slowly.”
“We will go at whatever pace you want y/nnie. We will go as fast or as slow as you want.”
With the comfort of knowing that he would go at whatever pace I needed to in order to heal, I knew that things would slowly get better. We spent the rest of the night cooking and watching movies, initially sitting apart from each other on the couch but over time slowly moving towards each other until we both decided to say fuck it and cuddle. It wasn’t something that was odd between us before I had dated Seungmin, so it wasn’t as odd as I thought it would be now.
Month One:
The first month after we decided to be exclusive but not put a label on whatever our new relationship was had gone back to what our old friendship was. A lot of going out and trying different restaurants and cafés, going on walks and just staying in and cuddling when we both just wanted physical comfort. We both knew that there was something hidden underneath everything but he also knew that I wasn’t yet ready to explore what that was yet, and he was ok with that. He was just happy to be there for me and be there in my life.
Month Two:
In the second month of exploring our new relationship, it took a slight turn but it wasn’t an unwanted turn. In the previous month our relationship had been more platonic with a hint of romantic feelings but over time it slowly began to shift and those romantic feelings began to come to the forefront. We slowly began to go on more outings that we soon began to call dates, we still didn’t put a label on our relationship. I thought that after the excitement of everything wore off for Changbin, he would change his mind and not be ok going at my pace but through everything he has never once pushed me past my limits and has gladly taken what I have given and never asked for more. I slowly began to open up more to the idea of putting a label on our relationship but at the same time I wasn’t sure how to approach the topic with Changbin and I knew that he wouldn’t bring it up, so that he wouldn’t push me.
Month Three:
Over the last month, I slowly worked up the guts to tell Changbin that I wanted to put a label on our relationship. That I wanted us to officially be together, because as he gave me time to heal it also gave me time to realize that deep down a part of me always loved Changbin but was scared to admit it because I thought that he would never see me that way. Seungmin was an amazing partner but both of us knew that the relationship wasn’t meant to last and we were both ok with that. I knew that we were supposed to hang out together tonight, I also knew that tonight was the night that I wanted to talk to him about it. I knew he would be here soon, and the nerves were eating me alive, I couldn’t sit still. When he entered my apartment he found me pacing back and forth, too stuck in my head to even realize that he was there.
“Y/nnie? Are you ok? Why are you pacing?”
“Huh? Oh hi Binnie. I’m ok, just too much in my head I guess.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I do, I’m just scared.”
“It’s ok. Take your time.”
With a deep breath I look into his eyes and utter the words that have been scaring me all night. “I want to put a label on us, I want a relationship with you, an official one.”
He pauses for a second before breaking out into a grin and pulling me into him.
“Y/nnie. There is nothing to be scared about, I promised we would go at your pace and we will continue to go at your pace. I would love nothing more than to be able to call you my girlfriend, if that’s the kind of label that you are looking for.”
“I want to call you my boyfriend Binnie. I love you, I want to be able to express that.”
“You love me?”
“I think that I always have, even before Seungmin. I think that I was scared to say anything because I didn’t want to lose you. I’d rather have you as my friend than not have you at all.”
“I will always be here for you y/nnie. No matter what, through the thick and the thin.” He pulls me into him, resting his chin on top of my head, stretching his neck just a little.
“Can I ask another question?”
“Only if I can ask one first?”
“Ok?”
“Actually two.”
“Ok? Should I be worried?”
“Not at all. One, can I call you Jagi and Two, will you be my girlfriend.”
“Yes Binnie, you can call me Jagi and I would love to be your girlfriend.”
“Now, what was your question?”
“Will you kiss me? I want to kiss you but -” before I can finish my sentence Changbin is gently gripping my face and pressing his lips to mine.
The kiss is better than I ever expected it to be, he pulled away shortly before we both became breathless. He didn’t move far though, he stayed with his forehead resting on mine, looking into my eyes with pure adoration. I knew that Changbin would be my forever person, the person that would always love me and always protect me. I knew that the others would care for me and protect me but not in the same way that Changbin would.
I thought that maybe Changbin would go home tonight but after the kiss that we shared, neither of us wanted the night to end. It wasn’t the first time that he had slept over but every other time he had slept on the couch, but tonight we both found ourselves in my room. As we lay down, he pulls me into him and I know that this will become his unofficial home from now on. It may be unconventional but neither of us care because of how long we have known each other. As we lay down he pulls me into him and places soft kisses all over my face before gently kissing my lips. This is definitely something that I could get used to for sure, gentle kisses from him and his strong arms around me as I sleep, yes please. It might be the start of our relationship but I know that it’s going to be our type of perfect and both he and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us.
Epilogue:
After we had made things official, we made sure to tell his members so that there weren't any surprises. But since we had told them, we hadn’t seen them, which means I hadn’t seen Seungmin since the break-up. From text messages I knew that he was ok with Changbin and I being together but I wasn’t sure how he would react if he physically saw us together. It had been around two months since we had become official and tonight was game night, and the boys really wanted me to join them tonight.
Changbin could tell that I was anxious but he kept trying to comfort me and tell me that there was absolutely nothing that I had to worry about but I still couldn’t help but worry. Even though I held no romantic feelings for Seungmin anymore, I didn’t want to unintentionally cause him harm. Changbin kept trying to tell me that it would be fine and there was truly nothing to worry about but I couldn’t help it, my anxious brain wouldn’t stop running.
That Night:
As we pulled up to the dorms, Changbin pulled me into him as much as he could with the center console in the way, it was his way of trying to calm me down. Even though on the outside it didn’t look like it, his touch was very calming and without him I don’t know what I would have done. I think that had he not been there for me, I might not be here anymore and that’s not something he or I want to think about.
“Are you ready?” Changbin asks me, opening my door for me.
“With you by my side, yes.”
“I promise that everything will be ok.”
“I trust you.”
With that, he helps me out of the car and we slowly make our way up to Chan and I.N’s dorm room. When we enter, it already sounds like a room full of chaos. It sounds like Minho is yelling at Hyunjin for cheating and Han and Felix are egging them on. Chan and I.N are just watching the chaos unfold, both not entirely sure on how to react to the scene in front of them. I thought that Seungmin would already be here but to my surprise he isn’t yet, and from the looks on the other boys faces they aren’t surprised. Shortly after Changbin and I get settled in and join in on the chaos, we hear the front door open and then close, Changbin can feel me stiffen up next to him and he puts a comforting hand on my thigh. He quietly lets me know that it’s ok, he knows and is ok with this.
What I don’t expect when he walks in, is for him to have someone with him. I’ve seen her around the JYP building before, I knew she was staff but not SKZ staff, if I remember correctly she worked with one of the female groups and her name was Hana. When Seungmin spotted me, he looked shy and almost scared.
“Seungmin, finally you are here. Can you get your roommate to stop egging Minho on, I didn’t cheat. I’m just that good at Mario Kart.” Hyunjin exclaims dramatically.
“In a minute Hyunjin, let me grab a drink and then I’ll join you guys.”
I watched as he and Hana walked into the kitchen, Changbin tugged on my hand trying to signal that he wanted us to follow them as well. When we got up none of the other boys even bat an eye, it’s almost like they all knew that she would be here and I was the only one who didn’t. I didn’t know if I wanted to be hurt or thankful for that. I was so in my head that I didn’t even notice we were in the kitchen until Changbin bumped my hip, effectively getting me out of my head.
“It’s good to see you y/n.” Seungmin said gently and cautiously.
“It’s good to see you too, it’s been a minute.”
“It has, how have you been?”
“I’ve been good, Binnie has been a huge help.”
“I’m glad, I’m really glad. I’m glad to see you happy, especially with someone as great as Changbin.”
“I-I.”
“It’s ok y/nnie. I know he’s an amazing guy and treats you great. There are no hard feelings between any of us, not you and me and not Changbin and I.”
“I’m glad that there are no hard feelings, I don’t want to lose our friendship.”
“Nothing will ever cause us to lose our friendship, I promise.”
“Tell me about how life has been treating you?”
“I know what you are really trying to ask y/n and it’s ok to ask.”
“I’m so sorry if this comes off as rude, I’m not trying to be but I can’t think of a better way to phrase it. What is your relationship? Is it a friendship or a romantic relationship?”
“It’s ok y/n, I know you struggle sometimes with wording things. And our relationship is newly romantic, we didn’t start talking until shortly after our breakup. It wasn’t until about a month ago that I asked Hana to be my girlfriend.”
“I’m really happy for you Seungmin, I’m happy that you’ve moved on and found your person.”
“I will forever be thankful for our relationship because it led me to her.”
“I get what you mean.”
We talk for a little while longer before heading back out to the living room, over the course of the evening Hana and I actually get closer and soon pair up together in most of the games, much to Changbin and Seungmin’s dismay. But both of them are happy that we are getting along and that there is no bad blood or lingering jealousy. From the interactions tonight, I can tell that Hana and I were going to become great friends, and both of the boys could tell as well. And they were more than excited to see how that friendship bloomed and expanded into a type of sisterhood. After tonight, I knew that everything was going to be ok, if not better than it was before.
A/n: I'm back in school and so funny enough I'll be able to write more frequently than I was able to during the summer. I also had bad post concert depression after seeing Skz live back in June and just now got out of my writing slump.
Trigger warnings: angst, depression, thoughts of suicide, thoughts of the members being better off without her, poorly written. (I'm not a fan of how this turned out, I had started this when I was fighting with a friend and when the fight ended I lost my inspiration for the story. I might try and rewrite it at a later date or post an alternate version)
Summary: You had been best friends with Han since before his debut, you had always had feelings for him but kept them hidden. When you over hear him call you clingy, your relationship with him becomes strained. You aren't sure if there is a way to come back from what he said and made you feel. But if there is a chance, you are willing to try, for the sake of keeping him in your life but will that be enough for you anymore?
Photo's not mine, credit goes to photographers
Bang Chan | Lee Know | Seo Changbin | Hwang Hyunjin | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin
I had known Han since before he debuted, standing by his side through everything. I was by his side during the survival show, the late nights at the studio when he struggled with lyrics, the early mornings when he didn’t want to wake up, and I was there for him when his anxiety had gotten really bad. I had always thought that he would always be by my side, I mean after all that’s what he had promised when he went into the trainee program, he had promised that he would always be by my side and wouldn’t let anything come between us, no matter what. But there was one thing that I could never tell him, I was madly in love with him but I knew that he would never feel that way about me because all he ever saw me as was his best friend and at the end of the day that is all he would ever see me as.
Present:
Han had asked me if I wanted to spend the day with him at the studio while he worked on lyrics. I had the day off so I figured that there wouldn’t be any harm in spending the day with him. It wasn’t very often anymore that I got to spend the day with him anymore due to my job. I know that if I had told Han about how stressful my job was he would tell me to quit and that he would take care of me, but I can’t ask that of him. I know that he and I have been best friends for years now but I don’t want him to start thinking that I am friends with him because he has money.
Even though he and I were hanging out, we weren’t talking but that’s usually how our hang out sessions usually went. Each of us doing our own thing but enjoying being in each other's company. That was one thing about Han and I, we didn’t have to constantly talk or do things to enjoy each other's company.
“Hannie, I’m hungry and it’s about lunch time. Do you want anything yet?”
“Hmm? What?”
“I was just asking if you wanted lunch yet, I’m starting to get hungry.”
“I’m almost done with these lyrics, why don’t you take my card and run and grab us something, bring it back here?”
“Sure, I can do that. Anything in particular that you’d like?”
“No, just get whatever you think looks good. You know that I’ll eat just about anything.”
“Alright, I’ll be back soon.”
With his card in hand, I make a quick trip to the restaurant down the street that both he and I like. I tried to balance the food and drinks while making my way back to the building, thankfully the front ladies knew me and were quick to rush and help me when they noticed that I was struggling with carrying everything and opening the doors. Once I got up to the floor that Han was on, I was quick to make my way to their studio. When I got to the studio I had noticed that the door had been left ajar and there were multiple voices inside. I could tell that it was Innie, Changbin, Felix and Seungmin talking and hanging out with Han, I was about to push open the door when I heard something that made my heart drop.
“Hey Hyung, where is y/nnie?” Innie asks, noticing that my stuff is there but I’m not.
“She went to get us food, she’ll probably be back soon.” Han responded.
“Why don’t you sound too excited about that?” Felix asked.
“I don’t know, it just feels like I am constantly seeing her.”
“Don’t you normally go with her when she goes to get you guys food?” Seungmin asks.
“I do, but she didn’t ask this time and I just needed a break.”
“A break?” Changbin asks, sounding both confused and worried.
“Yea, she is so damn clingy all the time, she is constantly wanting to hang out and is constantly at the studio. When all I want is to just have the day to myself, she’s there asking if I want to hang out and if I tell her no she’ll throw a fit and that’ll just cause me more issues. Sometimes I really regret becoming her friend, if I had known that she would be this fucking clingy I wouldn’t have gotten as close to her.”
“That’s harsh Han, even for you. She’s your best friend, you know that she just wants to spend time with you because she doesn’t get to see you as often as we do.” Innie tries to defend me.
“Yeah but asking to hang out as often as she does. It gets so annoying and I just need a break, because I know that if I tell her no, she will throw a fit.”
“Han, that’s a little harsh. You know that she wants to spend time with you because she cares about you” Changbin tries to get Han to realize that he’s being harsher than he needs to be. But when he looks up, he sees me standing outside the door and he knows that I’ve just heard everything.
I take that opportunity to push open the door and enter the room, the rest of the boys smile and greet me but when I look at Han I can now see that he is doing his best to hide his annoyance with me. The boys try their best to involve me in their conversations but with what I had just overheard, it’s hard to interact and pretend that I’m ok. How can I pretend that I’m ok when I just found out that my best friend thinks that I’m clingy and that it gets annoying. After a while of just watching the boys interact with each other and trying to pretend that I’m ok, I do my best to come up with a believable excuse so that I can go home and actually let out all the emotions that I’ve felt in the last two hours.
“Hey boys, I need to head out. I’ve got some prepping that I need to do for work tomorrow.”
“Are you sure you gotta head out so soon? We haven’t seen you in forever, Noona.” Innie tries to convince me to stay longer.
“I’m sorry Innie, but I really need to head home and get ready for work tomorrow. I’ll try to stop by when I have more time.”
“Do you want me to walk you down?” Han asks, I can see that he’s trying to not seem overly annoyed.
“No, no that's ok. I know that you are busy. I’ll see you later.”
“Alright, as long as you are sure.” Han responds.
“I’m sure, it’s not dark out or anything. I’ll be ok, plus my apartment isn’t far from here, so it’ll be a nice walk.”
“Wait, you’re walking home? Why not have one of our drivers take you home?” Changbin asks, obviously concerned for my safety.
“It’s ok, really.”
Before any of the boys can argue or try to convince me to take one of the company cars home, I grab my stuff and stand to leave. Han barely looks at me but the rest of the boys wave goodbye, to my surprise Changbin gets up and follows me out of the room. I know that he’s going to ask if I’m ok and honestly I don’t know if I’m ready for him to ask me that because the moment that he does, I know that I won’t be able to hold in the tears.
“Y/n, hold on. Are you ok? I know you heard what Han said.” Changbin asked.
“I honestly don’t know Binnie.”
“It’s ok if you aren’t. What he said was super harsh, and he definitely shouldn’t have said that about you.”
“I mean, maybe he has a point.”
“What are you talking about? What point does he have?” Changbin looks appalled by the fact that I agree with Han.
“I can be clingy and I know that it can get annoying, so maybe what I need to do is back off and give him space. I know that’s what he wants but feels he can’t tell me.”
“Y/n, don’t do this. You know that this is going to end up hurting you. I know that Han can be a dumbass but you need to tell him that you heard him and that what he said hurt.”
“I can’t Binnie, I really can’t. I can’t do that to him, I can’t make him feel guilty for how he is feeling. I do appreciate the fact that you are trying to protect my feelings but I got this handled.”
“Alright, but if you need anything then please let me know. You know that all of us are here for you if you need anything.”
“I know Binnie, and I am extremely thankful for that.”
“If you won’t take a company care, then please at least let me walk you home. I don’t have anything for the next hour and a half.”
“Binnie, it’s ok. I’ll be fine.”
Binnie realized that trying to convince me would be hopeless and that he wouldn’t win this argument with me. So at the doors of the company, he just asked that I let him know when I get home and to keep him updated on how my work assignment is going.
“Binnie, there was no work assignment. I just needed an excuse to leave.”
“Oh y/nnie.” The look of sadness on his face broke the dam that I had been trying to keep.
“I need to leave Binnie, before he sees and it makes things worse.”
“Alright, just let me know when you get home, ok?”
“I will, please try not to be too upset with Han. He can’t help the way that he feels.”
“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try.”
Four Weeks Later:
I didn’t mean too but over the next few weeks I continued to pull away from the group. I didn’t want to be too clingy with Han, I knew that the guys would miss me but they were his friends before they were mine. I didn’t need to give him another reason to be upset with me. It terrifies me to be alone, with the boys being my only friends but maybe it’s for the best that I distance myself, maybe I rely on Han and them too much.
As the days go on, it’s hard to not feel lonely and miss spending time with the boys but I can’t give Han another reason to be upset, I already can’t handle the fact that he thinks I’m clingy. I love him and he finds me clingy, the one person I love more than anything and he wants nothing to do with me anymore.
Han’s POV:
At first I didn’t even realize that y/n had been spending less time around me and the guys, at first it was a nice break from her but as time went on I began to realize just how much I missed having her around. I could tell that the boys weren’t happy with me, but I didn’t know why she had stopped hanging around us. It’s obvious that the boys know but they weren’t going to tell me, if I wanted answers I was going to have to ask her myself. Out of all the boys she was closest to Changbin, I knew that he would know where she was.
“Changbin-Hyung, can I talk to you?” I pull him aside after dance practice.
“What can I do for you Han?”
“Why has y/n not been around as much?”
“She’s just been busy.”
“For two weeks?”
“Han, why do you all of a sudden care? Two weeks ago you were saying that she was too clingy.”
“I was wrong. I was stressed, tracks weren’t going well, Channie-Hyung was on my tail on getting lyrics to him and I said the wrong thing. But she doesn’t know that I said anything, does she?”
“God, if she knows that I told you this she’d kill me. She overheard you Han, she heard what you said, that’s why she left that day. She didn’t have an assignment that she needed to work on, she used it as an excuse to leave because she was barely holding it together.”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“Fuck is right Han, she has stood by your side since before our debut and has been nothing but supportive and this is how you repay her? And you claim to be in love with her?”
“Fuck Hyung, you’ve gotta help me. Please, help me fix this with her. I do love her, I put my anger in the wrong place and it hurt her.”
“Because I want her to be happy and I want you to be happy, I’ll help you. But only if she tells me that she is ready to even possibly consider forgiving you.”
“God I can’t believe I fucked up.”
Your POV:
It had been harder than I thought it would be to cut myself from the group, the depression was getting harder to deal with but it was my problem to handle not the boys, they already had enough to deal with. Some days it felt like my body was made of stone and all I could do was lay in bed and cry, some days I had the energy to get up and function. But more often than not, I was barely functioning, living off of power drinks and water. I functioned enough that I could complete my work but that was about it, there wasn’t much else that I could force myself to do. Han had been my support and when he called me clingy, that support fell out from under me. And the worst part is that no matter what, a part of me will always love him, even when I know that I shouldn’t.
The past two weeks had been exceptionally bad, I could barely function, I had called out of work and I could barely get myself to shower. I wanted my Han back but he was better off without me, and maybe the boys were better off without me, maybe everyone would be better off without me. I was spiraling and felt like I was drowning, I felt like there was no point in staying, in living any longer. I was so in my head that I hadn’t heard my phone ringing, hadn’t heard Changbin trying to get ahold of me. I knew that had I looked I would see the panicked texts and calls from him, it wasn’t until I heard him rushing into my apartment that I somewhat came out of my funk.
Changbin’s POV:
When I walked into y/n’s apartment, it looked like she had barely been living. The blinds were drawn, barely letting any light in, there were no dishes in the sink, just empty protein drinks and water bottles. She had been drinking enough to stay alive but other than that, she wasn’t living, she was slowly letting herself die. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fix this, the only person that would be able to fix this is Han. I quickly called him, needing him to get here as quickly as possible. While I call him, I pull y/n into me, holding her close to me, feeling protective of her.
“Han, I need you to get to y/n’s apartment as quickly as possible.”
“Is everything ok? Is she ok?”
“No, she’s not ok and right now the only person that can fix it is you.”
“Fuck, ok. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“I don’t care if you have to hitchhike, get your ass over here now.”
“Shit, ok.”
Twenty minutes later I hear frantic knocking on y/n’s door, I know that it’s Han. Y/n has a death grip on me and I am unable to pry her off of me to let him in, I know that he still has her key. With one hand I send him a text to just come in, when he finally gets his head on straight enough to open the door, he sees what condition she is in.
“What happened?”
“She cut herself off from the only support system that she had.”
“Fuck.”
“You need to fix this Han, I am not about to lose her due to your stupidity.”
I manage to loosen her hold on me long enough that Han is able to slip in and take my spot, I know that they will figure it out and that I won’t have to help. Han gives me a nod, letting me know that he has it under control now and that he will let me know if he needs help. With a heavy sigh I leave her apartment, praying that things will be resolved.
Your POV:
I don’t know what time I had fallen asleep, but when I woke up my head wasn’t resting on my pillows, instead it was resting on someone's hard chest. I was so out of it still that I hadn’t figured out who was holding me and why they were holding me. When I finally came too enough, I realized that it wasn’t Changbin that I was laying on, it was Han. I didn’t know why or how he was here but the selfish part of me wanted to bask in his warmth before he withdrew the warmth.
I didn’t know why he was here but I was enjoying the comfort that he was bringing too much to bring myself to move out of his arms. I knew that once he woke up, whatever conversation that we ended up having would be difficult and I’d have to be alone again. I allowed myself to fall asleep again, allowed myself to take in the rare moment of comfort.
The Next Morning:
For the first time in months, I slept for more than three hours. I knew that it was because of Han, and I also knew that the moment he left my sleep schedule would go back to being shit. I will have to talk to my doctor about getting on a sleep med after all of this is done. I could feel Han moving under me, so I knew that he was awake, and I knew that I could no longer put off the inevitable.
“Han, why are you here?”
“Changbin called me in a panic last night, told me that you weren’t answering him and then when he got here you were out cold, wouldn’t even wake up to painful stimulation.”
“I’m fine. You don’t need to be here. Go home.”
“You aren’t, and you haven’t been for a while.”
“Why are you here? You haven’t cared for months, so why do you care now?”
“I have cared, but I thought that you wanted space, so I gave you the space even though I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why you disappeared from our lives.”
“I overheard you, I overheard what you said.”
“What do you mean?”
“I overheard you the night you called me clingy, so I gave you what you wanted Han. I gave you space.”
“God, I don’t even remember why I said that. But that doesn’t matter y/n, I was way wrong, I don’t want space from you.”
“You can’t just change your mind Han, you can’t just want me around when it’s convenient for you.”
“I want you around all the time, it felt wrong when you weren’t around. Not only did I miss you but so did the guys, I’m pretty sure Changbin was about ready to smack some sense into me if I didn’t come when he called me.”
“What do you want from me Han, you call me clingy, I give you space but then you decide that you don’t want space anymore. You are very confusing and I really really don’t know what to think.”
“I want you to cling to me y/n, I want you to show up to the studio randomly, no matter the time of day or night. I want you to spend time with the guys again, I know they miss you. I want you to bug me about going out to restaurants, I want you to just bug me.”
“Han, how do I know that the moment I start doing those things again, you won’t flip on me again and change your mind?”
“These last few months without you have felt like torture because I didn’t know what went wrong and why you weren’t coming around. I never want to feel this way again, I don’t want to feel the fear again that I felt when Changbin called and said that you weren’t responding.”
“I don’t know what to do or say Han, how can I trust that this won’t happen again?”
“Give me a chance to prove to you that this won’t happen again.”
“Han, I can’t handle this again.”
“I promise you, that I won’t do this to you ever again.”
“One chance Han, one chance.”
“That’s all that I ask.”
Two Months Later:
For the last two months, things have slowly been going back to normal between me and the rest of the boys. The relationship between Han and I is still strained, I don’t want to get close to him just to have him rip my heart out again. I don’t think that I could handle it again, I barely could handle it this time and that was without me telling him how I felt. I don’t think that I can ever give him the power over me to wreck me the way he already has.
Changbin knows about how I felt regarding Han, but he also knew that I would haunt his dreams if he ever dared to tell him. I didn’t hang around Han as much as I used to, afraid that if I did he would think I was clingy again. But the rest of the guys were happy to see me and I was happy to see them, I had missed them and they had missed me. It was Minho’s turn tonight to host movie night, which meant that against my better judgment I would be seeing Han for an extended period of time. It was getting harder and harder to hide how I felt for him, especially now with how he had been acting, trying to make it up to me for being an idiot. Minho could tell that I was struggling with being so close to Han, and that I was close to panicking. I needed space, using the excuse of needing a drink of water I went to the kitchen, running into Minho.
“If you need space but don’t want to leave, you can sneak away into my room. Soonie, Doongie, and Dori are hiding in there.” Minho said quietly, trying not to scare me.
“Why are they in your room? Aren’t they usually out and about?”
“With how many people were going to be here tonight, I didn’t want them to get too stressed out.”
“That makes sense, but I think that I’m going to take you up on that offer because it’s becoming too much but I don’t want to leave yet.”
“Feel free to hang out there for as long as you need. I’m sure they won’t mind the company.” with that he walked back into the living room while I looked towards his bedroom.
With a deep breath I walked towards his room, knowing that if I went back to the living room I would end up having a panic attack. When I entered Minho’s room, I saw that Soonie and Dori were hanging out on his bed while Doongie was hanging out on his nightstand looking out the window. I knew that I couldn’t force them to cuddle but maybe if I layed down they would lay with me, so I laid on his bed trying to not disturb the two who were already lounging. At some point I must have fallen asleep because I woke to the sound of his door opening. I thought that it might have been Minho coming to check in but to my surprise it was Han.
“I was wondering where you’d gone. Of course you chose the company of these three menaces over us.” he joked lightly.
“I just needed a break and was apparently tired.”
“Are you ok?”
“I’m ok. Just needed to be alone for a little while.”
“I’m sorry, again.”
“I forgive you Han, it’ll just take time to get back to how we used to be.”
“What if I don’t want to go back to how we used to be?” he asks hesitantly.
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t keep pretending anymore.”
“Pretending about what? Han, you're scaring me.”
“I’ve been in love with you for years. I thought that I would be ok with just being friends, but I’m not, not anymore.”
“Why did you never say anything before?”
“I didn’t want to ruin what we had.”
“Han, I’ve been in love with you for years. I thought that I had made it so obvious.”
“Apparently not, but I guess that is why I’m part of paboracha.”
“What does this mean for us now?”
“Hopefully, you’ll let me take you on a date and eventually call you my girlfriend?”
“I’d really like that.”
“Do you think you are up to joining the group for the rest of the movie night or do you want to maybe go lay down in my room and cuddle and talk?”
“Cuddling and talking sounds really nice right now. I’ve really missed my best friend.”
“I’ve missed you too.” He steps up to me, pulling me into him, kissing my forehead.
He gently took my hand, pulling me out of Minho’s room and into his own room. We laid down together but didn’t talk much, just enjoying each other's company. It felt nice to finally be held by him. I had dreamed of being held by him like this for years and truthfully never thought that it would happen.
“Y/nnie, I want to take you on a date.”
“I’d really like that.”
“I want to take you out tomorrow night.”
“Ok.” I say sleepily.
“Dress fancy but not too fancy.”
With that we both fell into silence, it was uncomfortable. It wasn’t long until I was falling asleep, the warmth of Han’s hold on me and the comfort of being in his arms finally as something more than just his best friend.
The Next Night:
I was filled with nervous energy, not because I thought that the date would go wrong but because I was finally going on a date with the man that I had been in love with for years. I knew that I had no reason to be nervous, but I couldn’t help it. It wouldn’t be long until he got there and I felt nowhere near ready enough for this, and he would be here in ten minutes.
When Han finally got here, I was excited yet nervous for the date to start. When I opened the door to let Han in, he surprised me by having my favorite flowers. I think I had told him once in passing about what my favorite flowers were, so to have him remember meant a lot to me. Once the flowers were in a vase and I was ready to go, we headed out to dinner.
After Dinner:
Dinner had gone so smooth that we hadn’t realized how late it had gotten. It was only when I let out a big yawn that I realized just how late it was. Han had decided that he didn’t want to take me somewhere super fancy, rather to a cute diner that he and Minho had come across. As Han walked me up to my door, I could tell that neither of us wanted the date to be over.
“I had a really good time tonight Hannie.”
“I’m really glad, I was nervous about messing up tonight.”
“I’m sad that it’s over.”
“I don’t either, I miss having my best friend with me. And now I’m gonna miss you even more, knowing that you feel the same.”
“Hannie, would you maybe want to come inside? I-I don’t feel like being alone tonight.”
“Y-you want me to spend the night? Are you sure?”
“I am, but only if you are comfortable with it.”
“Yes, yes. Let me shut the car off and then I’ll come in. Go get your pajamas on, I’ll lock up when I come in.”
“Ok, Hannie.” I say quietly, kissing his cheek.
I was pulling on my t-shirt when Han knocked on my bedroom door, not wanting to invade my privacy. He was being shy and sweet and it made my heart swell with love for him.
“Hannie, you can come in. I have some of your clothes in a drawer from before.”
“Perfect, I’m gonna change in the bathroom and then I’ll be out.”
“Don’t take too long, I want cuddles.”
“Of course Jagi, can’t deprive my girl of her cuddles.”
“Oh, I’m your girl now?”
“Aren’t you?”
“I don’t know, I know we’ve both admitted our feelings but other than that we haven’t really talked about where to go.”
“Let me change and then we can talk.” He quickly ran into the bathroom, trying to change quickly. In his rush he must have missed the leg hole of his pants or something because not long after he disappeared I heard a loud crash coming from the bathroom followed by an embarrassed I’m ok.
“Hannie, did you just fall over?”
“Noooo.”
“Ok, dork.”
He shyly exited the bathroom, holding the t-shirt I had given him. I had seen his tattoos before but it still caught me off guard every time I saw them. I was slightly confused as to why he didn’t have a shirt on, he usually was pretty good about wearing a shirt unless he was really warm.
“Han, not that I mind but why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”
“Umm, it doesn’t fit anymore. The seams damn near ripped when I tried to put it on.”
“Oh. Um, that’s the biggest shirt of yours that I have.”
“Is it going to make you uncomfortable if I don’t wear a shirt?” He asks as he sits on the edge of the bed.
“Not at all, you know that I like skin to skin contact. It’s calming and relaxing to me.”
“Then let’s lay down.” he crawls into bed.
As he lays down I thought that maybe we would continue to talk but rather we just enjoyed each other’s company. As soon as he laid down he pulled me into him, holding me close to him like he was afraid that I would disappear if he let go. When I looked up at him, his eyes kept flickering between my eyes and my lips.
“Hannie, can I try something?”
“Sure.”
“Can you close your eyes?”
When he closed his eyes, I slowly leaned into him, I could feel his breath hitch. I didn’t let that sike me out from what I wanted to do, before I could second guess myself I gently pressed my lips to his. It took him longer than I thought for him to respond, I thought that he might be rejecting the kiss but right as I was about to pull away he wrapped his arms tighter around me and deepend the kiss. Kissing him felt like having a breath of fresh air for the first time in years.
“I’m never letting you go now Jagi, you’re mine until you stop wanting me.” He said quietly.
“Then I guess I’ll be yours forever. I love you Hannie.”
“I love you too y/n, and I’m so sorry it took me almost losing you for me to get my head out of my ass and actually come clean.”
“It’s in the past, let's focus on our future.”
“That sounds perfect.”
Listening to his breathing as he slowly falls asleep, I know that everything is how it should be and that life will continue to get better as long as I have him by my side. I curl into him more, finding comfort in his presence next to me, knowing that all is how it should be and will continue to get better.
Bang Chan | Lee Know | Seo Changbin | Hwang Hyunjin | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin
Summary: You loved him more than anything, even when you knew he was slowly falling out of love with you. You kept quiet through the heartbreak. Through the illness. You worked through your pain and smiled so no one would worry. But when your time began to run out, you did the only thing you could do: Leave something behind for each person you loved.
Warnings: Angst (heavy), Terminal illness/death of main character, Grief and loss, Medical descriptions (mild, non-graphic) Infidelity (Hongjoong cheats on reader) Emotional abuse/neglect from a romantic partner, Depressive thoughts/emotional pain, Bittersweet ending
a/n: Hi, lovely readers! I just want to start by saying… yes, I did cry while writing this. And yes, I do enjoy writing angst.
I know, I know—maybe I need help. Or a hug. Or both. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it (even if it broke your heart into a thousand sharp little pieces).
If you liked it, please let me know—scream in the comments, throw tissues at me, or, you know, ask me to write more angst. I’ll probably say yes and suffer through it again for you 🥲
Join my Taglist: Here
“I’m sorry, what?” You ask again, slower this time, your voice barely a whisper.
The words don’t sound real. They hang in the air like fog, thick and heavy, impossible to breathe in.
The doctor shifts forward, his eyes full of practiced sympathy.
“Your tests confirm late-stage Acute Myeloid Leukemia,” He says gently. “It’s... blood cancer, Miss Kang.”
Blood cancer.
Your mouth opens slightly, but no words come out. You blink once. Twice.
Blood. Cancer.
That can’t be right. You only came here because you’d been dizzy for a few days, a little fatigued. Bruising easier than usual, sure, but you thought maybe it was just anemia. Or a flu. Overwork.
Not cancer. Never cancer.
He keeps talking, though you barely hear a word.
“There are some medical options,” He continues, his tone careful. “Low-dose chemotherapy, mostly for symptom control at this stage. A possible stem cell transplant, but the success rate is low given how advanced it is. We can also refer you to hospice care to prioritize your comfort—”
His voice fades. Distant. Like he’s underwater.
Your eyes are fixed on the floor, and your hands are gripping the edges of the chair even though you can't feel them anymore.
You should be crying. You should be panicking. But your brain... it’s stuck on something else.
Three months. ATEEZ’s comeback is in three months.
You’re part of the production team. There’s producing meetings, recording timelines. You promised to check Hongjoong’s revised lyrics tomorrow—he worked so hard on that track.
You can’t die. Not now. Not when things are just getting good for them.
And Yeosang. Your brother’s birthday is next month. He’s turning twenty six. You haven’t even gotten his gift. He mentioned wanting a custom watch—it was expensive, but you were going to surprise him.
And then, of course, Hongjoong.
Your boyfriend. Nearly two years together, though lately he’s been... distant. Busy. Distracted. You haven’t even told him how sick you’ve been feeling.
You blink again. Was it really just a flu?
Your nails dig into your palms.
Cancer.
You're dying.
But all you can think about is how you’re going to fit chemo into a production meeting. How you’ll cover for your absences so no one—especially he—notices.
You don’t want to be a burden. You just want to hold onto what little you have left.
“Miss Kang?” The doctor’s voice pulls you back. You force yourself to meet his eyes.
He’s waiting—waiting for you to fall apart, maybe. Waiting for grief to flood in.
But all you say is: “Can I go now? I have a deadline.”
He hesitates “Of course. But we do recommend starting treatment as soon as possible—”
“I don't want any, don't want to be a burden.”
You stand. Your knees nearly give out, but you mask it with a quick breath and a weak smile. Your hands are trembling as you gather your things. You don't even remember putting your bag down.
As you step out into the hallway, the lights feel too bright, the world too loud. Your phone buzzes.
Joongie🖤: Studio all night. don't wait up.
You stare at the message, expression unreadable.
Cancer. Blood cancer. You’re dying.
But all you reply is: “Okay, love you.”
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
You’re in the booth with Mingi and Seonghwa, helping them smooth out a harmony layer on the bridge. The air is dry, heavy with the static buzz of fluorescent lights and the faint hum of the condenser mic.
You’ve run the track three times now—your eyes are tired, your head pounds, and there’s a high ringing in your ears you’ve been trying to ignore since morning.
You press the intercom “One more run, okay? Then we’ll double it and move on.”
They both nod, focused and trusting. It’s a rhythm you’ve shared for years. But just as Seonghwa hits the high note and Mingi drops into the lower octave, it happens.
A sharp sting behind your nose. Then a slow, warm trickle.
You blink.
Red.
It stains your fingers before you realize what’s happening—your hand comes away wet. The blood drips onto the soundboard, splashing across the control dial.
“Shit—” You mutter, jerking your head up.
Seonghwa is the first to notice. His expression shifts in an instant from focused to horrified. He yanks his headphones off and rushes out of the booth, pulling tissues from the stack beside the mixing desk.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” He asks, gently pressing the tissues to your face. His hands are warm and steady, but his voice is tight with concern.
“I’m fine,” You say quickly, trying to laugh but your throat is dry. “It’s probably just the heat. You know how weather messes with your sinuses sometimes.”
Seonghwa doesn’t reply right away. He just looks at you. And in that moment, you know he doesn’t buy it, not really. The little crease between his brows gives him away.
Before he can press further, the booth door creaks open. Mingi’s head pops out, brows raised.
“What happened?”
“Just a little nosebleed,” You call out, raising a hand with a thumbs-up, blood still drying on your knuckles. “Nothing major. Give me a sec and we’ll get back to the recording.”
Mingi hesitates, his gaze flicking between you and Seonghwa, who’s still crouched in front of you with stained tissues.
“You sure? You look… pale.”
“I’m always pale,” You tease with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. “Studio lighting hates me.”
They chuckle a little, but it’s thin. Tense. The kind of laugh you give when you want something to be normal, even though it clearly isn’t.
You clean the soundboard with a tissue, careful not to smear the blood further. Your hands are trembling just slightly, but you hope neither of them notice.
And then, just like that, you sit back down, press the intercom, and say:
“Let’s go again.”
The room is quiet for a beat. Then Mingi sighs and slips the headphones on. Seonghwa does the same, reluctantly taking his seat. He watches you for a second longer before turning away.
You don’t scream. You don’t cry. You don’t explain the pounding in your chest or the ache crawling up your legs.
You just breathe, press play, and pretend that nothing is wrong.
But you can feel their eyes on you now—careful, worried, watching.
And for the first time this week, you wonder how much longer you’ll be able to keep pretending.
⋆
It’s almost midnight when you finally step into the smaller recording studio, the familiar hum of wires and soft glow of monitor lights greeting you like an old friend.
Hongjoong is already there, seated at the mixing desk, headphones draped around his neck, scrolling through the demo layers with an expression you know too well.
Focused. Detached. Somewhere far away from you, even though you’re in the same room.
You haven’t seen him properly in days—just quick glances in hallways, brief texts about edits or schedules. It’s been weeks since he kissed you goodnight. Months since you felt like you had his full attention.
Still, tonight matters. It’s your first one-on-one session in over a week. Sure, it’s for work. But it’s him. And you’ve missed him so much it aches.
You walk in quietly, clutching your notepad and tablet. Your legs feel like lead. Your bones hurt. You would give anything to sleep, just sleep for twenty-four hours straight.
But none of that matters now. Because he’s here. And you want to be here with him.
“You’re late,” He murmurs without turning around.
You blink, caught off guard “Only by five minutes.”
He doesn’t answer. Just clicks into the instrumental and adjusts his mic levels.
You set your things down and take your place behind the desk, syncing the track. Your fingers move on instinct, but your vision blurs slightly when you glance down, the lights of the soundboard feel too bright, the colors too sharp.
“You look tired,” Hongjoong says, finally glancing at you. His tone isn’t warm. It’s not concerned. It’s just… an observation.
“I am,” You answer honestly, letting the words hang between you. You’re hoping—just hoping—he’ll soften, just a little.
Ask why. Ask what’s wrong. But he doesn’t.
He shrugs “We all are.”
Right.
You nod, biting the inside of your cheek “Let’s do a run-through, yeah?”
He nods once and heads into the booth, you hit record.
The beat pulses through the speakers, his voice layering smoothly over the base. He’s good, always has been, and this track is personal for him. You can feel it in the way he bites down on each verse, dragging emotion into the syllables.
And yet, as he sings about struggle and perseverance, about finding light in the dark, your chest burns. You wonder if he means a single word of it anymore.
The second take ends. He peeks out of the booth, resting his hands on the doorframe.
“How’s the timing?” He asks.
You try to answer, but your mouth feels dry. Your head is pounding. The room is spinning just enough to make you feel unstable.
You clear your throat “It’s good. You hit that second verse cleaner this time.”
He nods. No smile. No praise. Just a nod.
You stare at him for a second longer, heart thudding, and finally whisper, “I missed you.”
It slips out before you can stop it. Small. Vulnerable.
He blinks “What?”
You force a smile “I said the mix is almost done. Just need to level out the chorus.”
Lie. Coward’s version of the truth. He doesn’t press. Just turns away, going back to the booth.
You exhale, shakily. Look down at your hands. They're trembling again. You close your eyes and rest your head in your arms for a second, just a second, but Hongjoong’s voice through the mic pulls you back up.
“Don’t sleep on me,” He says—light, almost teasing.
But there’s no affection behind it. No warmth.
Just a reminder.
You're not his girlfriend tonight. You're the producer.
You swallow the lump in your throat and press record again.
And you wonder how it’s possible to be this close to someone you love and still feel so completely alone.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
It’s rare to have a quiet evening, let alone a meal outside the studio. But Yeosang insisted.
“You’ve been skipping too many dinners,” He said when he called. “I’m picking you up at seven. No excuses.”
You didn’t have the strength to argue, not today. Not after another dizzy spell in the breakroom. Not after you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and barely recognized the pale, fragile version staring back.
So now, you're sitting across from him in a small Japanese restaurant, the kind you both used to visit when you were younger.
It’s warm, quiet, the kind of place that smells like miso and nostalgia. He orders for both of you—he always does—and you let him, too tired to pretend you care about the menu.
He chats about Ateez's schedules, about San’s newest obsession with cooking, about the funny disaster that was Wooyoung’s attempt at laundry this week.
You nod and laugh in the right places. But your limbs are heavy, your stomach barely handling the miso soup you’re swirling in front of you.
Then it happens. You reach for the cup of tea, and your hoodie sleeve slides up. Just a few inches.
But it’s enough.
The yellow-purple bloom of the bruise on your forearm is stark against your skin, impossible to miss.
Yeosang goes still. His eyes lock onto it, and for a moment, he doesn't say anything, just stares.
Then his voice drops, cold and quiet “What happened to your arm?”
You freeze. Quickly pull your sleeve back down.
“It’s nothing,” You say with a too-fast shrug. “I—uh—I hit it on the kitchen counter a few days ago.”
He doesn’t blink. Doesn’t believe you.
“In the kitchen?”
You nod “Yeah. Just… clumsy, you know?”
He leans back in his seat slowly, watching you carefully now. His jaw tightens.
“You sure that’s it?”
You blink “What else would it be?”
He doesn’t answer. But you see it. That flicker in his eyes. That horrible, fleeting thought that passes through his mind.
Did someone do this to you?
Did he?
“Yeosang,” You say quietly, reaching across the table to touch his hand. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“I’m not thinking anything,” He lies, voice tight.
“Yes, you are. And I promise, no one hurt me. Especially not Hongjoong.”
You smile. It takes effort. It hurts.
He doesn’t smile back “I’m your older brother,” He says after a long silence. “If something was wrong, you’d tell me, right?”
You nod “Of course.”
But the truth is already rotting inside you. It’s in your blood. Your bones. The way you can’t even finish a bowl of soup without feeling like you’re going to collapse.
And it’s killing you—slowly, quietly.
And you're lying to the one person who would do anything to save you.
—
The mirrors are fogged at the edges, the air thick with the rhythm of stomping feet and sharp breaths. The members of ATEEZ are halfway through the final run of their choreography when San finally calls for a break, dropping to the floor with a dramatic groan.
Yeosang wipes the sweat off his forehead, reaching for his water bottle, but his eyes keep flickering to Hongjoong—the leader sitting off in the corner, completely checked out, thumbs tapping away at his phone like the world around him doesn’t exist.
He sighs. Something’s been off for weeks—with you, with him.
The bruise on your arm flashes in his memory again. Too dark. Too fresh. Too big for a simple kitchen bump.
He swallows and turns to Seonghwa and Mingi, who are stretching nearby.
“Can I ask you guys something?” He says, keeping his voice low.
Mingi nods, looking up “What’s up?”
“It’s about my sister,” Yeosang says slowly, choosing each word. “Has she seemed… off lately to you?”
The moment the question leaves his mouth, Seonghwa stills. Mingi, too. Then Seonghwa shifts, sitting up straight.
“What do you mean by ‘off’?”
Yeosang hesitates “She had this bruise on her arm this afternoon. Big one. Said it happened in the kitchen, but... I don’t know. She’s pale. She barely touched her food. She looked like she was going to fall asleep at the table.”
Mingi makes a noise—not quite surprised, not quite confused “Dude,” He says, glancing at Seonghwa. “She had a nosebleed the other day. In the recording booth. Just started bleeding mid-take.”
“And she said it was because of the heat,” Seonghwa adds with a frown. “But I don’t know, man. She looked exhausted. Like, barely-standing, exhausted.”
Yeosang’s expression darkens “She told me she was fine. Said she was just tired.”
“She’s always tired lately,” Seonghwa murmurs. “She’s not okay.”
Mingi nods “You think something’s going on? Like… is she sick or something?”
In the silence that follows, they all glance toward Hongjoong.
Still glued to his phone. Still tapping out replies, smiling faintly at something on the screen—completely unaware of the conversation happening a few feet away.
“Should we tell him?” Mingi asks quietly.
Yeosang watches Hongjoong for a long beat. Then he shakes his head.
“He won’t care. Not right now.”
Seonghwa frowns “You think something’s going on with him too?”
Yeosang doesn’t answer. Because he already knows the truth—or at least part of it. He sees the distance.
The coldness. The way you still light up when you talk about Hongjoong, like you’re trying to convince yourself he's still the man you love. And the way Hongjoong barely even looks at you anymore.
He sees it all.
And he’s afraid of what it might mean.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
The door closes behind you with a soft click.
You drop your bag by the entrance and lean against the wall, breath trembling. Your whole body aches—not the usual muscle strain or fatigue from long days. It's deeper. Like your bones are rotting from the inside out.
You peel off your hoodie slowly, wincing as the sleeve sticks to the sweat on your arms. Bruises decorate your skin like splattered ink. New ones, old ones, all unexplained.
The apartment is quiet. Too quiet.
No shoes by the door but your own. No low humming from the kitchen. No Hongjoong.
You told yourself he was busy. You keep telling yourself that.
You shuffle to the bathroom and stare at your reflection. Your skin is pale, almost gray under the fluorescent light. You look like a ghost wearing your face.
There’s blood on your upper lip. Again.
You don't even flinch this time. You just grab some tissues and press hard. Your nose is getting used to this.
Your phone buzzes on the counter. Another voicemail from the hospital. You press play.
“Hi, we’re following up on your last test results. We strongly advise reconsidering treatment options. The sooner we start, the better your chances of—”
You press delete. You already told them no.
What’s the point of prolonging what can’t be saved?
Chemo would only destroy what little normalcy you have left. The hair, the strength, the time—what’s the use if there’s no real chance? If you’ll die anyway?
You sit on the floor. Cold tiles against your back. The room spins for a second. You blink through it. You open the notes app on your phone. Not to write a letter—not yet. But you type a single sentence:
“If I die tonight, would he even notice?”
You don’t cry. You’re too tired to cry. Instead, you crawl into bed in one of Hongjoongs’ shirts, and you curl up with your sickness like it’s the only thing that hasn’t abandoned you.
You whisper into the dark “I don’t want to die like this.”
And you fall asleep with the taste of blood in your throat and nothing but silence to hold you.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
It’s nearly 2 a.m. The building is quiet, everyone else long gone. You’re still in your small studio, slouched in your chair, eyelids burning from hours of staring at the screen. You rub your temples, lean back, and play the track again.
Your eyes narrow. It’s missing something. Hongjoong’s verse. The one he promised to send by midnight.
You glance at the clock: 2:07 a.m. With a tired sigh, you drag yourself up and out. He’s probably still in his studio, working like always. Maybe he forgot to hit send.
Maybe… you just want to see him.
You walk quietly through the hallway, your oversized hoodie sleeves covering your trembling fingers. You’re exhausted, nauseous, and your body feels like lead—but you’re used to that by now.
When you reach his studio door, your hand pauses mid-air. It’s not fully shut. A crack of light seeps out.
Then you hear it.
A sound. A laugh. A muffled moan.
Your heart stops. Slowly, too slowly, you lean closer. Maybe he’s watching something. Maybe someone left a video playing. Maybe—But when you press your eye to the crack and tilt your head—You freeze.
She’s on his lap. Arms around his neck. Lips on his throat. His hands on her hips, his head thrown back, mouth open, soft groans escaping.
Your stomach flips violently.
He whispers something. Something soft, a voice you haven't heard in weeks—the way he used to talk to you.
“You’re driving me crazy, baby. Can’t get enough of you.”
Your world tilts. You don’t scream. You don’t make a sound. You take a step back. And another. And another. You walk away before they can see you. Before he can see what he’s done.
Your hand covers your mouth, the hallway spinning around you.
You stumble back to your studio. The file’s still open. Hongjoong’s verse still missing. Like you’re missing.
You don’t cry. You don’t delete the track. You close the laptop gently, like it’s fragile.
Because if you break one thing, you might not stop.
⋆
The next day, you show up right on time. Hair brushed, hoodie clean, headphones slung around your neck.
No one would guess that you barely slept, that you spent the night curled up on the studio floor because you physically couldn’t make it home.
Hongjoong arrives ten minutes late. He barely glances at you when he walks in, phone in hand, cap low over his eyes.
You smile at him anyway. Smile. Even if it’s broken. Even if he doesn’t look at you.
“You ready to record your part today?” You ask, tapping your notes like your heart isn’t crumbling.
He nods casually, pulling out his water bottle and warming up his voice “Yeah. Just the bridge, right?”
You hum in agreement, adjusting the mic settings “Mmhm. Also… just checking, you still remember about our dinner on Friday?”
That catches his attention for a second. He looks up “Dinner?”
Your stomach knots. Your hand tightens around the pen “The one I booked a month ago. That place near the Han River? You made me promise not to cancel, even if work got heavy?”
A pause. A flicker of hesitation in his eyes “Ah… yeah. Of course I remember. I’ll be there.”
And just like that, he goes back to humming into the mic.
You nod, smiling again.
Of course he’ll be there. Of course he said that.
Because you’re still pretending. And he’s still pretending. And both of you are very good at acting.
But that Friday it wasn't what you expected to be.
You spent two hours getting ready. Even put on makeup, something you haven’t done in weeks. Your legs feel like glass, and your skin is bruising under your sweater sleeves, but you still curl your hair and pick the perfume he once said he loved.
You arrive early, of course. The restaurant is soft-lit, romantic. There’s a tiny candle flickering on the table you reserved a month ago.
You order water. You wait.
Fifteen minutes.
Thirty.
An hour.
You check your phone. No messages. No calls. No apologies.
The candle flickers lower. The server comes by for the third time and finally asks, gently:
“Would you like to order something? Or…?”
You smile at him “No, thank you. I think… I’m not really hungry anymore.”
You pay for both meals you didn’t order, just in case he shows up later.
When you get home that night, your phone finally buzzes. You’re already curled under your blanket, still wearing the clothes you picked for your date.
Joongie 🖤: "Sorry. Something came up. We’ll reschedule next month."
You stare at the screen. Your heart doesn’t break, it simply stops trying. A bitter chuckle slips from your lips.
“I’ll probably be dead next month.”
And then you roll over and close your eyes.
Alone.
—
The soft creak of the front door wakes you.
Your eyes flutter open, your body sinking deeper into the mattress before you force yourself up. Every bone protests. Your limbs feel too heavy, your joints throb. There’s a ringing in your ears again—low, constant—like a warning.
But still, you sit up. Because it’s him.
Maybe you’re foolish. Maybe you’re still waiting for the version of him who once held your hand in packed rooms, who left sleepy kisses on your forehead, who whispered “I love you” like it was sacred.
Maybe you’re just hoping he’ll look at you the same way again.
Barefoot, you walk across the cold floor. Your oversized sweater slips from one shoulder, the fabric brushing against skin that bruises too easily now. The lights in the living room are dim, but you see him.
Hongjoong. Standing near the coat rack, pulling off his hoodie with a long, tired sigh.
You stop in the doorway “Where were you?” Your voice is soft. Not angry. Just… quiet. Worn down.
He doesn’t look at you when he answers “Working.”
You glance at the clock. 3:47 a.m. You scoff—not with bitterness, but disbelief.
“It’s almost four, Hongjoong.”
That makes him turn, eyes sharp with irritation.
“I have a comeback on my fucking shoulders. Of course I’m staying late.”
The words bite, but you try to swallow it down “I know, I— I wasn’t trying to—”
“I already said sorry,” He snaps, tossing his hoodie carelessly onto the couch. “Don’t start nagging me about forgetting the damn dinner.”
“I’m not,” You murmur. “I just… didn’t think you’d actually come home tonight.”
That’s all you meant. Just that. Not an accusation. Not even a disappointment. Just honesty.
But something in him bristles like you lit a match near his fuse. He turns fully to you, and for a second, the air leaves your lungs. You smell it—faint but distinct—alcohol.
And worse, you see it: darkened skin just above his collar, smudged and uneven, red-purple hickeys that his t-shirt doesn’t fully cover.
Your heart drops to your stomach. Still… you say nothing. Because if you speak, you might scream.
“You are complaining,” He says suddenly, voice rising. “That’s all you do lately. You’re always tired, always acting like the world’s ending—”
“I’m not acting—” You breathe, voice cracking. But he doesn’t let you finish.
“We’re all tired,” He barks. “You think you’re the only one going through shit? Everyone’s stressed. Everyone’s working. But no one else is dragging it around like some pathetic excuse.”
That word—pathetic—splits something in your chest.
“I didn’t know I was an excuse to you,” You whisper.
He scoffs like you’re being dramatic “God, you’ve been so exhausting lately. You don’t even look like yourself. You’ve lost weight, you’re pale all the time, you’ve got these dark circles under your eyes. You look… sick.”
You are sick.
But he doesn’t know that. Because you never told him. Because he never asked.
“If something’s wrong with you, just say it already,” He huffs. “Stop walking around like some damn ghost expecting me to coddle you.”
You feel it in your chest now—the slow, suffocating sting of grief folding into itself.
Your voice breaks when you speak again “It’s been almost a month since we really talked. Since we existed together. I planned that night for us, Joong. I just… I miss you.”
He looks at you like he’s staring through a window. Cold. Detached.
“See? Complaining again.”
Your heart splinters. And in that moment, you understand.
He’s already gone. He left you long ago. Now he’s just looking for reasons to make it your fault. You nod, almost imperceptibly. Your throat burns, but you force your lips into a flat line.
“Okay,” You whisper. “Sorry.”
And you walk away. Back to your room. Back to the bed made just for the two of you—that’s held only one body for weeks now.
You collapse onto the mattress, curling into yourself. And this time, you don’t hold back the tears.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
Three days have passed since that night.
Since the night you finally let the tears fall—not because of the war inside your blood, but because of something far more painful: losing Hongjoong.
You hadn't realized how much he meant to you until the silence between you turned permanent. You hadn't cried for your illness… but for him, you broke.
And since that night, things have only gotten worse.
The nosebleeds are more frequent now. Your bones ache just from getting dressed. Bruises blossom across your skin from the gentlest touch, like a whisper of pain stitched into every cell.
The dizziness never leaves, and somewhere deep inside, you know: You're running out of time.
So you start moving. You make a list in your head of the things that matter. The things you must do before it’s too late. And at the top of that list… is Yeosang.
Today, you drag Yeosang to the largest mall in Seoul, ignoring his annoyed sighs as he follows you across the marble floors.
He mumbles something about how the two of you should be at the company, you doing the last track’s reviews and how he should be at the dance studio.
But you wave it off with a smirk and keep pulling him along until you’re both standing in front of a luxurious watch display.
You point at the glass case and ask, “Which one do you like?”
Yeosang looks at you suspiciously, eyes narrowing slightly “Why are you asking me that?”
You grin “Just pick one.”
He frowns, shifting his weight onto one foot “You don’t have to buy me something expensive, you know. My birthday’s not even here yet, it’s in three weeks.”
“I know,” You reply, voice soft but steady. “But I want it to be ready by the exact day. It’s custom-made, so it’ll take time.”
Yeosang sighs, though there’s a small smile tugging at his lips now “You’re impossible.”
Still, he looks at the collection and nods toward a sleek silver watch with delicate engraving.
“That one. It’s simple. I like it.”
You nod back, but before you can say anything else, the world sways under your feet.
Your vision goes fuzzy, the lights above blurring into streaks of white. You try to blink it away, try to steady yourself… but your body gives out before you can say a word.
Yeosang catches you before you hit the floor.
—
The rhythmic beeping of the monitor fills the hospital room, calm and cold. Yeosang sits beside your bed, elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped tightly as if holding himself together.
He’s been sitting like that for almost two hours now, unmoving except to occasionally glance at your pale, unconscious face.
He didn’t panic when you fainted. Not at first. He carried you to the car, drove like a madman, shouted your name again and again. But nothing prepared him for what the doctor would say.
When the door finally opens, Yeosang stands immediately. The doctor asks him to step outside, but Yeosang shakes his head and says flatly.
“Just tell me. Say it here.”
There’s a pause. Then the doctor exhales slowly “Your sister has acute lymphoblastic leukemia,” He says quietly. “Advanced stage.”
Yeosang doesn’t move. The words don’t make sense. They bounce around in his skull like static.
“No,” He mutters. “She would’ve told me. That’s not— She… she would’ve said something.”
The doctor’s expression doesn’t change “She was diagnosed two weeks ago. She refused chemotherapy, declined transplant and long-term treatments. She didn’t want to go through the medical process.”
“She didn’t want to fight?” Yeosang snaps, his voice cracking. “Why wouldn’t she fight?”
“She made it very clear she didn’t want to burden anyone, she just accepted the risks.”
Yeosang takes a sharp breath, but it doesn’t reach his lungs. He turns his eyes toward you again.
You look so small. So still. The same girl who used to sneak into his bed as a child whenever there was thunder.
The same one who’d sing off-key just to make him laugh. The one who held his hand during their parents’ worst fights and promised she’d always be there.
Now she was slipping through his fingers. And he hadn’t even noticed.
The doctor continues gently, “At this stage… it could be days. Maybe weeks. But it’s impossible to know. All I can say is… it won’t be long.”
Yeosang lowers himself into the chair again, slowly this time, as if his body can no longer hold him up.
His throat burns. His hands are shaking.
You, his little sister—the only person in the world who never asked him to be perfect, never judged him, never left—you were dying. And you didn’t even tell him.
Tears pool in his eyes, and for once, he doesn’t hide them. Doesn’t wipe them away.
He reaches out and takes your hand in his. It’s cold. But he holds it anyway, like maybe if he holds tight enough… you won’t let go.
—
You feel it before you see it—the weight of the world pressing down on your chest, your body heavy with exhaustion. Your eyelids flutter, slow and reluctant. The ceiling above you is unfamiliar… white, bright, sterile.
A hospital.
You sigh softly through your nose. So much for hiding it a little longer. Turning your head slightly, you already know who’s sitting there. You can feel him.
Yeosang.
He’s hunched forward, elbows on his knees, face buried in his hands, shoulders trembling. Silent sobs rack through him like he’s trying to hold in a scream that’s been locked inside his ribs for too long.
You blink, the sting in your eyes not from the room’s brightness but from what you’re seeing.
Yeosang is crying.
Not angry. Not yelling. Not scolding. Just crying.
And not the kind of crying you’ve seen when a choreography goes wrong or when stress cracks him for a second. No, this is deeper. Rawer. His heart is breaking in real time.
You know exactly why. And for a second, guilt slices through you sharper than anything the illness ever has. He must’ve talked to the doctor. He knows.
You swallow, throat dry. You try to speak, but your voice is barely there.
“Yeosang…”
He flinches at the sound of your voice, lifts his head, and his eyes lock onto yours like you’re a ghost he wasn’t sure he’d ever see again. And then—in one breath—he breaks.
He doesn’t say a word. He just stands and wraps his arms around you.
Carefully.
So gently, like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he squeezes too hard. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, and you feel the wet heat of his tears soak into your hospital gown. His hands grip your back, trembling with everything he can’t say out loud.
You freeze, caught in that fragile second between comfort and collapse.
Because this is Yeosang. Your brother. Your protector. The one who always had it together, who never let anyone see the cracks in his armor. And now he’s holding you like the world has ended.
And in his eyes… maybe it has.
“I thought I had more time,” You whisper, your hand weakly brushing over his shoulder. “I didn’t want you to worry.”
He still doesn’t speak, only pulls you closer, and you feel it—the ache in his breath, the sobs he still tries to swallow down even now, even here.
You try to smile “I was going to tell you. Eventually.”
A shaky breath escapes him, and you finally hear his voice—hoarse and cracked and barely above a whisper.
“Why didn’t you let me fight with you?”
That’s when your heart shatters. Because there’s no good answer to that question. Only a dozen broken excuses, that you didn’t want him to suffer, that you didn’t want to be the burden, that you didn’t want to see pity in his eyes.
That you wanted to protect him.
But now he’s holding you like he’s the one who needs saving. You lean your head against his shoulder and let yourself cry too, just a little.
“I’m sorry,” You murmur. “I didn’t want you to watch me fall apart.”
His arms tighten just enough to make your breath catch “I’d rather watch you fall apart… than lose you without even knowing you were slipping away.”
He’s never said anything so honest to you before. He’s never needed to.
And now you lie there in his arms, the beeping of machines ticking off seconds you can’t promise to survive, and think about all the things you wanted to do—all the people you have to say goodbye to.
But for now, you let yourself just be his sister.
And let him cry.
Because sometimes, even the strongest ones break.
—
It’s been nearly twenty minutes since the tears finally stopped. Yeosang still hasn’t let go of you, but his sobs have faded into soft, steady breaths against your shoulder.
You rest your cheek gently against his hair, fingers combing through the strands like you used to when he couldn’t sleep as a kid. It’s soothing, for both of you.
Neither of you says anything for a while. Then, in a voice barely more than a whisper, you murmur, "Please don’t tell anyone."
He doesn’t move. But after a second, he replies quietly, "Why not? They’re your friends. They deserve to know."
You feel your throat tighten. He’s right, in theory. But theory doesn’t count for much when you’re the one dying.
"You should at least tell Hongjoong," He adds. "He’s your boyfriend."
That word—boyfriend—makes you freeze.
Is he?
The silence in the room grows louder. Because it’s not a matter of labels. You know the truth, or at least the truth that hurts the most.
He isn’t really yours anymore.
He’s probably out right now, laughing with her, forgetting how your fingers used to trace his skin, how you used to fall asleep listening to the rhythm of his breath.
He hasn’t called. Hasn’t texted. Not once since that night.
You blink away the burn behind your eyes "Especially him," You say, quieter now. "Don’t tell him anything."
Yeosang pulls back just enough to look at you. His eyes are tired, still red "Why not?"
You manage a hollow smile, one that doesn't quite reach your lips. "Just don't."
"Okay," Yeosang says gently.
You shrug, gaze drifting toward the window. The world outside is still spinning, oblivious to what’s happening here.
"Thank you."
Yeosang doesn’t argue. Instead, he just nods slowly and rests his forehead against yours.
"I’ll carry it with you." He whispers.
And you close your eyes—because even if your time is running out, for now, you’re not alone.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
You turn your head away, your voice no stronger than a breath.
“I don’t want to eat.”
Your fingers tremble where they clutch the blanket, but you hide them beneath the sheets, as if that will make you seem stronger than you feel.
Yeosang lets out a soft sigh, gentle but tired. You hear the quiet clink of the spoon as he places it back down on the tray.
“Sweetheart…” He says, reaching to brush a strand of hair from your forehead. “Just a little, okay? You need to eat.”
You don’t answer right away, the smell of the soup making your stomach churn.
“I don’t feel like it,” You murmur, eyes fixed on the wall across from you—anywhere but on him. “Everything tastes like metal.”
“I know,” He whispers, his voice tight with worry, “but you have to try.”
You hesitate. Then, without meeting his gaze, you sit up slightly and open your mouth. Just one bite.
He smiles weakly, bringing the spoon up “There’s my good girl.”
The warmth of the soup hits your tongue, bland and bitter, and you swallow with difficulty. It’s not the food that makes your eyes sting.
It’s the look in his.
It’s been three days since the doctors told you it was no longer safe for you to go home—not with how easily your body is giving up on you.
The dizzy spells, the nosebleeds, the bruises from brushing against doorframes… the way your bones feel like they’re crumbling from the inside out.
You wanted to protest. You had plans. You had things to finish.
But Yeosang insisted, and he hasn’t left since.
He comes early, brings you coffee even though he knows you barely sip it anymore, and forces you to take at least three bites of every meal.
After breakfast, he leaves for the company—but never without kissing your forehead like he used to when you scraped your knees as a kid.
He returns before nightfall, sometimes with books, sometimes with that sad smile he tries so hard to make look hopeful.
He sleeps on the couch in your hospital room now, no matter how many times you tell him to go home. He never listens.
And you love him for it. But the guilt, the overwhelming guilt, is a steady ache in your chest that no painkiller can touch.
Every time he walks through that door, every time he hides his puffy eyes behind a joke, every time he tucks your blanket up to your chin like he’s afraid you’ll vanish overnight…
You feel like a burden.
Like the weight of your dying is something he carries more than you do.
You glance at him now—his hands fidgeting with the spoon, his jaw clenched like he’s trying not to say something too heavy for the room.
You want to thank him. You want to tell him to stop. You want to ask him to leave before it gets worse.
But instead, you whisper, “Sorry.”
Yeosang turns his head sharply “For what?”
You shake your head slowly, sinking deeper into the pillows “For making you stay. For making you watch me like this.”
His face crumbles for a second, and then he gently places the spoon back on the tray and leans forward, taking your hand in both of his.
“Hey,” He says, voice trembling, “You’re not making me do anything. I’m here because I want to be. I’m here because I’m your brother. And I love you.”
His fingers tighten around yours “You’re not a burden. You’re the only reason I’m holding it together.”
Your lips part, but the lump in your throat makes it impossible to speak.
And still… the ache doesn’t go away.
Because no matter what he says, you see it in his face. The fear. The grief. The knowing.
You’re slipping, and he knows it.
⋆
The energy in the company feels… off.
It’s subtle at first. A quiet kind of absence. Like someone turned the volume down on the whole room.
You haven’t shown up in days—no messages, no check-ins, no complaints about how overworked you are, or how the coffee always tastes like burnt water.
Just silence. A hole in the atmosphere no one seems to want to name yet.
“Did she take a sudden vacation?” Wooyoung mumbles, peering at the shared project calendar on the studio screen. “She didn’t say anything to me…”
“She didn’t say anything to anyone,” Seonghwa answers, brow furrowed as he scrolls through his texts. “I messaged her two nights ago. No reply.”
“She didn’t even complain about Mingi messing up the last track?” Wooyoung asks, suddenly alert.
Seonghwa shakes his head “Nothing.”
That alone is strange. You always replied to Seonghwa. Even just with a thumbs up or a meme. The realization settles heavily between them.
Then there’s Yeosang.
He’s here, technically. Sitting through meetings, nodding at updates, eyes staring at whatever screen is in front of him.
But he hasn’t made a single joke all week. He hasn’t even complained about the lunch orders.
And his eyes… They’re always red. Always tired. Not the ‘I slept late’ kind of tired—the kind that looks like he’s been fighting off the weight of the world.
They all noticed the bandage on his hand too. A small thing, easily missed—except he’s been picking at it, like his mind isn’t even in the same room as his body.
In the recording studio, he flubs his lines. Not once, not twice—four times. Yeosang never messes up. Never.
By the fifth take, he mumbles an apology and pulls off the headphones, muttering something about needing air before walking out.
Silence follows him.
Wooyoung exchanges a look with Seonghwa “Something’s wrong.”
Seonghwa’s jaw is tight, his voice quiet “Yeah.”
—
The company building was quiet after hours, the fluorescent lights casting a cold glow over the empty hallways.
Most of the staff had gone home, but Seonghwa was still around, sorting through choreography notes.
Wooyoung, who’d gone to grab something from the vending machine, passed by one of the practice rooms when he caught sight of a familiar figure slumped in the corner, motionless.
He paused “Yeosang?”
No answer. He pushed the door open slowly, the faint sound of choked breathing slipping through the silence.
“Yeosang?” He repeated, softer this time.
That’s when he saw him. Yeosang was sitting on the floor, back against the mirror, knees pulled up, face buried in his hands.
His shoulders were shaking, his breaths ragged, and the tears—God, the tears—were pouring silently, as if they had been held in for far too long.
Wooyoung froze, the can of soda slipping from his hand and clattering to the floor.
“Yeo…”
Seonghwa heard the noise from down the hall and came quickly. When he stepped into the room and saw the sight before him, his heart dropped.
Yeosang didn’t even lift his head. He couldn’t.
He had held it together for days—for weeks. Through the hospital visits. Through the sleepless nights. Through every forced smile he gave the others so they wouldn’t ask questions.
But the moment he was alone, the weight became too heavy. Too sharp.
“Yeo,” Wooyoung said again, crouching down, touching his shoulder. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
Yeosang finally looked up, and both Seonghwa and Wooyoung felt their breath hitch. His eyes were bloodshot, cheeks damp, mouth trembling as if every word was a mountain.
“She’s dying,” He whispered.
Wooyoung blinked “What?”
Yeosang clutched his phone like a lifeline, and slowly, with shaking fingers, turned the screen toward them.
Your hospital ID. Your name. Your patient band. Your photo with that tired smile.
“She’s in the hospital,” He said, voice cracking. “It’s—it’s cancer. Blood cancer. And she didn’t tell anyone. She kept working like nothing was wrong. She didn’t even try treatment. She said she didn’t want to suffer.”
He paused, his whole body trembling.
“The doctor told me… she could go at any moment.”
The room went silent.
Wooyoung staggered back onto his heels, lips parted in shock “No… no, she’s—she was just here last week. Laughing. Messing with me in the recording studio. She can’t—she can’t be—”
“She is,” Yeosang choked out. “She is, and I—I have to watch it happen. Every day I go there and she smiles like she’s okay, like she’s not falling apart in front of me.”
Seonghwa stepped forward, heart clenched, crouching beside him. He wrapped an arm around Yeosang’s shoulders, grounding him with quiet strength.
“You’ve been going through this alone?”
“I didn’t know how to say it,” Yeosang admitted, voice barely audible. “I didn’t want to make it real.”
Wooyoung wiped at his eyes, trying to process the hurricane of grief building inside his chest. “Why didn’t she say anything to me…? I would've—”
“She didn’t want to be a burden,” Yeosang interrupted. “That’s what she told me. Can you believe that? She’s dying and she’s worried about burdening us.”
There was nothing else to say for a moment. Just silence. Just three broken hearts on a practice room floor.
Then Seonghwa pulled Yeosang into his arms fully, holding him tight as his tears returned full force. Wooyoung leaned in too, hand gripping his arm.
“You’re not alone in this,” Seonghwa whispered. “Not anymore.”
“We’ll be there,” Wooyoung added. “For both of you.”
And in the quietest part of the night, Yeosang let go.
He let it all out—the pain, the fear, the helplessness—into the hands of the only people who could understand.
Because this wasn’t just grief.
This was love. Cracked and bleeding.
And it was real.
⋆
There’s a sound tugging at you from sleep.
At first, it’s faint—like a whisper underwater. A low hum of voices and the quiet, broken rhythm of someone trying not to cry.
Then it gets sharper.
“…She’s sleeping, be quiet,” You hear Yeosang murmur, his voice strained.
“But how the hell am I supposed to—” Another voice cracks, shattering mid-sentence.
You frown softly, your eyes still closed, floating somewhere between consciousness and exhaustion. Then a sniffle. Then a choked sob. Muffled. Held in.
And you know. You know before you even open your eyes.
Slowly, you peel your lids open, vision blurry under the hospital room’s dim light. Your throat is dry. Your body aches in ways you’ve gotten used to.
But it’s not the pain that takes your breath—it’s the sight in front of you.
Three figures. Yeosang sitting at your bedside, pale and silent, his hand loosely holding yours. And just beside him, Seonghwa and Wooyoung.
Seonghwa’s eyes meet yours first, full of something that looks like mourning. As if you're already gone. His lips press into a thin line.
But it's Wooyoung who crumbles. The moment he sees your eyes flutter open, he breaks. A sob escapes his throat, and he covers his mouth with his hand as tears stream down his cheeks.
His body shakes. He turns his face away, ashamed, but it’s too late—the dam is broken.
“Woo…” You whisper, your voice barely there.
He walks toward you like a storm—fast, trembling, desperate. Then he collapses to his knees by your bed, burying his face in the side of your blanket.
“You idiot…” He cries, voice muffled. “You absolute idiot… how could you hide this from us?! From me?!”
You don't answer right away. You can't. Your heart aches more than your body, watching him fall apart like that—loud and vulnerable, the way only Wooyoung ever is.
Yeosang says nothing, but his hand grips yours tighter.
“I didn’t want to be a burden,” You murmur, your voice cracked like broken porcelain.
Wooyoung lifts his head just enough to look at you. His face is blotchy and red, eyes swollen, expression unreadable at first—until the grief turns into something else: anger.
“You think we care about that?!” He snaps, voice shaking. “You think I’ve known you since middle school just to not be there when you're going through this?!”
His voice rises, but Seonghwa gently places a hand on his shoulder, grounding him. Wooyoung exhales hard and leans his head back against the bed, still crying quietly.
“I’m sorry,” You whisper.
And it’s the worst part. Not the illness. Not the bruises on your skin or the ache in your bones.
The worst part is seeing the people you love grieve you while you’re still alive.
Yeosang leans forward, pressing his forehead to your hand.
“No more hiding,” He says, voice hollow. “You don’t have to be strong alone anymore.”
You let out a shaky breath and close your eyes again—not from fatigue, but to keep the tears from spilling.
Because now it’s real.
And somehow… that makes it both more painful and more comforting at once.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
The next four days pass in soft, slow pieces—moments stitched together by the quiet devotion of those who now carry your secret.
Yeosang, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung take turns by your side like clockwork. They don’t ask for permission—they just do.
Wooyoung bathes you gently, humming old songs to distract you from the cold water on your sore skin.
Seonghwa brings you freshly cut fruit, sits by the window, and reads aloud to you with his warm, steady voice—something about the way he does it makes you forget your body is failing.
And Yeosang, always Yeosang, feeds you when you’re too tired to lift a spoon and whispers things like, “just one more bite for me, sweetheart,” as if you’re still the little sibling who used to follow him around in your pajamas.
They do all of this without complaint. Without hesitation. Without letting you see the weight they carry.
But you see it anyway.
You see it in how Seonghwa avoids your eyes when you ask about the company. How Wooyoung’s jokes come slower, quieter. How Yeosang never lets go of your hand, even when he thinks you’re asleep.
On the second day, you ask them for a notebook and some pens. There’s no ceremony to it—just a quiet request.
“I need to write some letters,” You say, voice raspy.
They don't ask what for. They don’t need to.
Wooyoung brings you a sketchbook with thick pages and a pouch of pens in every color.
“So you can make them beautiful,” He says with a sad smile.
Each letter you write feels like another piece of your soul laid bare. You try to make them lighthearted—full of warmth, small memories, little jokes.
But they always end the same: with the words you’ve never been brave enough to say aloud.
Goodbye.
—
Meanwhile, the atmosphere at the company is growing tenser by the day. You’re not there. You’re not answering messages. No one's said why.
The boss knows you're taking “medical rest,” and the production team was told it's just temporary.
But Hongjoong isn’t buying it.
You were supposed to finish the final arrangement of the last album track. The deadline is breathing down everyone’s neck. And you—the one who usually sleeps under the mixing desk with a cold coffee and a blanket—have disappeared.
He hears whispers. He sees Yeosang come in with dark circles under his eyes, sees Wooyoung miss rehearsals for the first time in months. Seonghwa walks around like he’s carrying glass in his chest.
But no one says a word.
“Where the hell is she?”
Hongjoong snaps one afternoon, slamming his phone on the table in the production room.
“Everyone’s working their asses off and she’s just—resting?”
Yeosang freezes at the doorway. Seonghwa looks away. Wooyoung’s jaw clenches so tight it trembles.
But they say nothing. Not because they want to keep your secret. Because you asked them to.
Because you begged, “Don’t tell him. Not yet. Please.”
And so they bite their tongues. They swallow the pain. They let Hongjoong’s words slice into them without defending you.
Because the truth would shatter him.
And you're not ready to break his heart.
⋆
Your phone vibrates weakly against the metal bedside table. The screen lights up in the quiet dark, just past midnight.
Hongjoong.
You stare at the name. Your thumb hovers.
It’s been a week.
A week of silence. A week of not answering, not checking messages, not daring to reach out first—hoping, just a little, that he’d miss you.
That he’d notice your absence. That he’d call not out of obligation, but out of care.
You told yourself you wouldn’t answer. But hope is cruel, and you're too tired to fight it tonight.
You slide your thumb across the screen and whisper, “Hello?”
There’s a pause. Then—
“Where the fuck are you?”
Your breath catches. No hi, no how are you, no I miss you. Just fury, sharp and cold.
You blink, heart sinking, already wishing you hadn’t picked up “Hongjoong…” You murmur, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’m—I needed time. I’ve been—”
“Yeah, clearly. Taking a rest while the rest of us carry your weight?” He scoffs. “Do you think this is some kind of fucking vacation?!”
You flinch. The IV line tugs slightly against your arm as you instinctively curl in on yourself.
“I wasn’t—It’s not like that—”
“You still haven’t finished the last track. Do you know how unprofessional this is?”
He laughs bitterly, cruelly.
“If you don’t deliver by next week, I’ll tell the board you’re useless. Take a permanent rest from work. Let’s see how that feels.”
It hits like a knife.
You want to scream I’m dying. You want to scream I love you. You want to scream Please don’t do this to me—But you don’t.
Instead, your eyes blur as you whisper, “I’m sorry.”
There’s a long pause on the other end. Then his voice softens—not with affection, but with venom too practiced.
“Stop being a burden and do your fucking work.”
Your heart cracks clean in half. The silence that follows is unbearable.
You don’t hang up. You don’t cry. You just let the line go dead when he ends it.
And then the quiet comes back. But it’s not peaceful anymore.
It’s the kind that echoes every horrible word back to you—again and again—until you’re left with nothing but the sound of your heart breaking… in a body already falling apart.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
The next morning, the sunlight sneaks through the pale hospital curtains, casting soft gold over your bed. You barely feel it. Your bones ache. Your chest is still tight from last night.
But you hide it.
Yeosang is gently spooning porridge toward your lips.
“Just a little more,” He says softly, eyes tired.
He hasn’t slept well. You know he cried again—his lashes are still a little wet. You don’t ask. You just open your mouth and obey, like a good patient.
When he finally packs up to leave for the company, brushing your hair with his fingers like he used to when you were little, you smile.
“I’ll be okay,” You lie.
He hesitates “Call the nurse if you need anything.”
“I will.”
You wait until the door clicks shut before you call for the doctor.
“I need to go out for a few hours,” You say, sitting upright, your voice steadier than it should be. “Please. Just a few hours. I’ll be with a nurse. I… have things to finish.”
The doctor stares at you for a long time. You don’t offer more. You just meet his gaze with quiet determination.
Finally, he sighs “Only for a few hours. The nurse goes with you the entire time. No arguments.”
You nod "No arguments."
—
Stop 1: The Watch Store.
The clerk greets you with a warm smile, not noticing the slight tremble in your legs as you step inside.
“I’d like to pay for the custom watch I ordered online,” You say, pulling the receipt from your pocket with careful hands.
“And can you have it delivered on June 15 to this address?” You slide Yeosang’s name and home address across the counter.
The clerk nods, typing it in “Anything else?”
You hesitate, then smile faintly “Can you write a note to go with it? ‘For my favorite person: Happy Birthday, Yeosang. Love you always.’”
—
Stop 2: The Bakery.
The scent of sugar and yeast hits you like a memory—birthday mornings, surprise celebrations, shared laughs in the break room.
“I’d like to order a cake for June 13th,” You tell the girl at the counter.
She types as you speak “Message on the cake?”
You nod “Congratulations on your comeback, I’m so proud of you.”
She smiles “That’s sweet! Where should it be delivered?”
“KQ Entertainment. Lobby.”
—
Stop 3: The Funeral Home.
The room is sterile. Quiet. Almost too quiet.
The woman speaks gently as you browse “Do you… know what you’re looking for?”
You nod. A simple white coffin. Lilies. Nothing overdone.
You hand her a photo—one from your last birthday. You look healthy in it. Radiant. It’s the version of yourself you want them to remember.
“If it happens… soon,” You say quietly, “please use this photo.”
The woman places her hand over yours. You don’t flinch, just nod.
—
Stop 4: KQ Building.
You step in quietly through the side entrance. The guards recognize you, but they don’t question your pale complexion, or the nurse at your side. One of them greets you with a smile.
“You’re back,” He says. “It’s been a while.”
“Just for a bit.”
You walk slowly to the studio. No one sees you, they’re all working.
You sit in the recording room, headphones on, and finish the track Hongjoong demanded.
The lyrics blur in your mind, but the melody comes through clearly, like it had always been there—waiting.
When it’s done, you transfer the final version to a small silver USB. You stare at it for a second, then scribble something on a post-it.
“Sorry for the burden.”
You place the USB gently on Hongjoong’s desk and slip away before anyone notices you were even there.
The nurse doesn’t ask anything. She just holds the door for you as you step out into the spring air.
For the first time in weeks, you feel light. Not because anything is better. But because the end is near.
And you’re doing everything you can to leave it all behind… quietly, beautifully, on your own terms.
—
The studio is dimly lit, the same soft blue LEDs casting lazy shadows over the mixing console and shelves lined with half-finished demo CDs.
Hongjoong walks in, a coffee in one hand, the girl clinging to his other arm. She's giggling, wearing his hoodie like it's hers. Maybe it is, now.
He sets the coffee down, sighs as he slumps into his chair "Finally," He mutters, spotting the silver USB on the edge of his desk.
The small, square post-it clings to it. Your handwriting is instantly familiar—even now, he knows it better than his own.
"Sorry for the burden."
He reads it once. Then again. But his face doesn’t change.
No flicker of concern. No softness. No guilt.
"About time," He mutters, peeling the note off and tossing it into the trash without a second glance.
The girl beside him leans over his shoulder “Is that the track you needed?”
He nods, plugging the USB in “Yeah. She finally sent it in.”
There’s no thank you. No message sent. No question of where you've been or how you are.
Just a press of the spacebar. Play. Adjust. Pause. Replay. Work, as usual.
And the girl? She curls up on the studio couch, pulling out her phone, completely unaware—or perhaps uninterested—that this is a song made by someone slowly dying. Someone he once said he loved.
He doesn’t mention you. Not once. Just hums along to the melody you spent the last of your strength finishing.
The very one that will help complete their comeback.
Without you.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
The hospital room is quiet, cloaked in the fading light of a late spring afternoon. The soft hum of machines fills the background, broken only by the gentle scratch of your pen against paper.
You’re finishing the last letter—the most difficult one. The one addressed to him.
‘To Hongjoong,’ You write, your hands trembling.
Tears blot the page before the ink can dry. You bite your lip to keep from sobbing, but it doesn’t help.
The words come slowly—not because you don’t know what to say, but because it hurts too much to say it.
When you finish it, you fold the letter slowly, tuck it into an envelope already addressed with your shaky handwriting. You place it on the small box next to your bed—all your letters, sealed and organized.
Wooyoung promised he’d deliver them if something happened. And you believe him.
The sun has dipped lower now, and Yeosang is gathering his things. He's dressed for filming, eyes tired, voice gentle.
“You sure you’ll be okay?” He asks for the fifth time.
You nod, smiling “Yeah.” He lingers near the bed, hesitant. “Yeosang?”
“Hm?”
“…Thank you. For loving me. For staying. For making me feel like I wasn’t dying alone. You’ve been… everything.”
He frowns, stepping closer “Hey—hey, where’s that coming from?”
You reach for his hand, your grip so much weaker than it was even days ago “Just wanted to say it… in case.”
His throat bobs “You’re scaring me.”
“Don’t be scared.” You smile, tired but genuine. “Just remember that I love you. More than anyone in this life. You’ve made it beautiful, Yeosang.”
He bites his lip, eyes welling with emotion “You’re coming home. We’re going to beat this, okay?”
You nod, even though you both know it’s a lie.
He kisses your forehead gently, holding your hand longer than he should “I love you too,” He whispers, his voice cracking. “So much.”
Then he’s gone.
You watch the door close, and for the first time, the silence feels too big. You lean back against your pillow, staring at the ceiling, letting the weight of it all settle into your bones.
No more strength. No more words.
Just you.
You don't know how much time you spend looking at the ceiling, but you let out the softest breath like a whisper no one hears.
Your hand slips from the blanket.
The monitors slow… Then stop.
You die in that room—quiet, still, surrounded by goodbye letters and the sunlight you were always chasing. No one holds your hand. No one’s there to whisper your name.
And your biggest fear comes true.
You die alone.
⋆
"Okay, take a ten-minute break, everyone!" The director calls out after the choreography for the second verse wraps.
The room exhales all at once—a chorus of panting breaths, damp hair, and bodies sinking into the floor.
Some members collapse onto the ground, others shuffle to grab water bottles, sweat clinging to their skin.
Hongjoong claps his hands with a grin, voice laced with adrenaline “This is it, guys. This comeback... it’s going to be amazing.”
Everyone nods, smiling through their exhaustion, the air buzzing with the thrill of creation.
Until—
“Excuse me,” A staff member calls out gently, stepping into the rehearsal room, holding a phone in both hands.
Her voice wavers “I’m sorry to interrupt but… Yeosang-ssi, your phone’s been ringing nonstop since the last take.”
The room stills. Yeosang, who had been toweling the sweat from his neck, turns slowly. His brows draw together in immediate concern.
“From who?” He asks, walking toward her.
She hands the phone over, and he stares at the screen.
Six missed calls. All from an unknown number.
Seonghwa shifts on the floor, his stomach tightening. He and Wooyoung lock eyes.
They know something is wrong.
Yeosang doesn’t wait. He calls back with shaking fingers. The call connects after a single ring.
“Mr. Kang?” A voice answers gently—too gently. “We’re calling from Seoul National Hospital. I’m afraid we have… very difficult news.”
Everyone around him stops moving.
Yeosang’s throat tightens “W-What happened?”
“We tried—Mr. Kang, we tried everything, but… we couldn’t save her.”
The silence that follows isn’t quiet, it’s screaming.
“We’re so sorry for your loss.”
Yeosang’s knees buckle. He drops the phone mid-sentence, a choked sound tearing from his throat as if someone reached inside him and pulled out his soul. His body hits the floor with a dull thud, hands clawing at his chest.
“No… no—no, no, no, no,” He gasps. “She—no, she was okay this afternoon, I fed her—she smiled at me—she—”
“Yeosang?” Wooyoung is already by his side, falling to his knees, grabbing his friend’s shoulders as Yeosang sobs, broken and raw.
Seonghwa picks up the phone and listens numbly as the hospital confirms the worst. His face drains of color. He doesn’t speak—only slowly lowers the phone, trembling like a leaf.
“She’s dead?” Wooyoung whispers, his voice hollow.
Yeosang doesn’t answer. He can’t. He curls into himself, the wails coming now—full, loud, gut-wrenching. The kind of crying that tears your throat open, the kind that sounds like it shouldn’t come from a human being.
Everyone in the room freezes. Even Hongjoong goes pale, stepping forward slowly.
“What’s going on?”
Seonghwa finally turns to him, red-eyed and shaking “She’s gone,” He whispers.
“What?”
“She’s dead, Hongjoong.”
And that’s when it clicks.
The song. The way Yeosang had been acting like the world was ending. The way you had disappeared without telling him anything.
Hongjoong staggers back as if slapped. He doesn’t cry. He doesn’t even blink.
The words hang in the air like smoke: She’s dead.
They echo. They twist. But they don’t land.
He’s still standing in the center of the room, the choreography lights overhead casting long shadows down his face, but his eyes are unfocused, lost.
Yeosang is still crying—a broken, hoarse sound that scrapes at the walls. Wooyoung is holding him, whispering something against his temple. Seonghwa’s hands tremble at his sides as he stares at the floor.
But Hongjoong… He just blinks.
Dead? You can’t be dead.
You’re dramatic. Emotional. Reckless. But not dead.
He remembers the last call. The venom in his voice. The impatience. The threat.
He remembers not saying I love you back. Not once. Not even when you begged with silence.
He walks out of the studio like a ghost, no one stopping him.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
It’s raining.
Because of course it is. Not a torrential downpour—just the kind of quiet drizzle that clings to black umbrellas and feels like the sky is crying in your place.
The room is quiet. Almost too quiet for a funeral. Like no one dares speak in fear of breaking the spell.
The casket is closed. Sleek. White. Lined with the delicate flowers you chose yourself.
There’s a photo framed above it—the one from your last birthday. You look beautiful in it. Young. Alive. Eyes sparkling.
Too alive to be gone.
Yeosang stands beside your casket with swollen eyes and a hollow heart. He hasn’t left your side since the doors opened.
Seonghwa is next to him. Rigid. Pale. The type of grief that looks like discipline but is actually just survival.
And then there’s Wooyoung. His eyes are glassy but dry—because he’s been holding something more important than tears: A small box.
Your box.
Inside, letters.
One for each member. Sealed, with their names written in your delicate handwriting.
As the ceremony ends, he moves silently, one by one.
First to San. He presses the envelope into San’s hand and doesn’t say a word.
San reads your name on the letter and immediately breaks. His shoulders hunch forward, and he walks away before anyone sees the tears come.
Then to Mingi, who clutches the letter to his chest and nods, trying to swallow the sob threatening to escape.
To Jongho, whose eyes glisten but lips stay shut.
To Yunho, who takes it gently, fingers trembling, and whispers, “Thank you.”
To Seonghwa, who doesn’t even blink—he just holds it and whispers, “I’ll read it when I’m ready.”
To Yeosang, whose fingers brush yours one last time before taking the letter. He holds it to his lips. Doesn’t speak. Just cries again.
And finally—To Hongjoong.
Wooyoung walks up to him slowly, jaw clenched. He hesitates—just for a second—before holding the letter out.
Hongjoong doesn’t take it. He stares at the paper like it might burn him. His face remains blank.
“She wrote it for you,” Wooyoung says, quiet, almost cruel. “You should read it.”
Hongjoong lifts his eyes, slow and tired “I don’t deserve it.”
“That’s not for you to decide.”
The envelope slips from Wooyoung’s hand into Hongjoong’s. And for a long moment, Hongjoong just stares at it.
Your handwriting. Your last words.
To him.
His fingers close around it. He doesn’t cry. But his jaw locks, and his throat moves in one hard swallow.
The only thing he says is a whisper: “…I’m sorry.”
—
Later that night, the funeral is over. The sky is still weeping.
Hongjoong sits alone in his studio.
Not working. Not writing. Just sitting.
The letter sits on the table in front of him, untouched for hours. He’s been staring at it, afraid to open it, afraid to feel.
But eventually, his hand reaches out, slow and almost hesitant—like touching it might make it all real.
He breaks the seal. Your scent hits him faintly—that soft perfume you always wore—and already he’s breathless.
The paper shakes in his hands as he begins to read.
“To my love, my HongJoongie…”
That’s still how I think of you. Even after everything. Even now, even as I’m writing this with trembling fingers and bruised lungs. You’re still my Joongie.
I think I always knew.
About her.
The way your messages got shorter. How your voice lost that warmth. The way your eyes wandered, even when I was speaking. The way you smiled… just not at me anymore.
But I never asked. I didn’t want to break what was already cracking. I didn’t want to hear you say it, because then I couldn’t pretend anymore.
So I chose love. I chose you. Even when it hurt.
Hongjoong’s chest caves in.
His eyes blur. He wipes at them, but the shaking won’t stop now. He keeps reading, slower.
You were supposed to be my person. My safe place. I would’ve given everything just to be loved by you a little longer. Even if it meant swallowing all the pain. I wanted to be with you until the end, Joongie.
But the truth is…
I think you were already gone before I ever left.
He chokes. His hand flies to his mouth, like it might stop the noise rising in his throat.
But it’s too late.
A sharp sob rips from him. He bends forward, clutching the paper like it’s your hand and he can still hold on somehow.
The words blur.
But he forces himself to keep going.
You know, I used to be afraid of storms. The thunder always made me cry when I was little. But I grew out of it eventually.
I wish I could say the same about the fear of dying alone.
That one never left.
And now… I can feel it, Joongie. I can feel the end coming closer. And it’s cold. It’s terrifying. Because I think I’ll be alone when it comes. And I don’t want to be.
I don’t want to die without you.
Hongjoong breaks.
Completely.
No more holding back. No more numbness. Just grief. Ugly, gut-wrenching grief.
He collapses onto the floor, letter crumpled to his chest, sobbing like a man being ripped apart. Because he was supposed to protect you.
He was supposed to love you, stay with you, be there—through the storms, through the end.
But he let someone else into his bed while you were writing goodbye letters and choosing coffins.
He let you die alone.
And now there’s no song, no track, no apology that can bring you back.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
One Month Later
The company building is alive with quiet celebration.
It’s the day of the long-awaited comeback—photos are being taken, staff buzzing with excitement, members preparing for interviews and performances.
There are smiles.
But none of them quite reach the eyes.
Your absence is still a wound, deep and unhealed.
They all feel it — the silence where your voice used to be, the space you once filled so brightly now left hollow.
Then, somewhere between conversations and flashing lights—
“Delivery for Kang Yeosang?” A courier calls from the entrance.
Yeosang, confused, steps forward and takes the small, neatly wrapped box. His name is written in your handwriting.
There’s no mistaking it. His hands tremble. He opens it slowly.
Inside is a custom-made silver watch, the exact model he once told you about in passing—the one he never expected anyone to remember. The dial engraved with tiny, delicate script:
"For my favorite person: Happy Birthday, Yeosang. Love you always.’”
He stares at it, unable to speak. His chest tightens painfully.
Tears gather. A quiet, broken sob slips from him. Seonghwa puts a hand on his shoulder—and they don’t say anything. They don’t need to.
Across the building, another courier arrives.
“Delivery for KQ Entertainment – Congratulations Cake?”
The receptionist, puzzled, takes it.
It’s a beautiful cake—white and gold, elegant. The top reads in delicate frosting:
“Congratulations on your comeback. I’m so proud of you all.”
The members gather around it slowly, recognizing the handwriting on the card beside it before anyone speaks.
No one touches the cake. No one can move.
Wooyoung’s eyes well up first “...She planned all this,” he whispers. “Even when she knew she wouldn’t be here.”
Jongho’s jaw clenches. San turns his back to hide his tears. Mingi cries openly.
Hongjoong is the last to arrive, holding your letter in his pocket—worn and read a hundred times.
He sees the cake. He sees Yeosang clutching that watch like it’s the last thread of you left in the world.
And for the first time in days—He crumbles.
He sinks to his knees beside the table, staring at the cake, whispering your name like a prayer he didn’t deserve to speak.
Because love this deep doesn’t disappear when you die.
You gave them all a part of you to keep.
Even him.
Even the one who broke you, and it’s only now that he realizes… You were the only light any of them ever needed.
S U R P R I S I N G S K Z O N T O U R — B A C K S T A G E
stray kids ot8 x reader | post-show sweat. backstage chaos. and the person they missed more than sleep.
🌙 synopsis: they’ve been gone for weeks—sweating under stadium lights, screaming into mic stands, hearts beating to the rhythm of a thousand voices. they’ve given everything. every night. to everyone. and then—it’s you. standing in the hallway. soft smile. no warning. no cameras. just you. and suddenly, the lights aren’t the brightest thing in the room anymore. this isn’t just a surprise. it’s home. it’s you.
💌 a/n: welcome to Tender Tuesday™. yes i made sure it's tuesday this time not like last time!!! this was written under the influence of 1 delusional daydream in a dressing room mirror and the mental image of Han Jisung tripping over his own mic pack trying to hug you.
p.s. reblog this like you’re the one showing up in their hoodie
p.p.s. drink water or bang chan will fly home and force-feed you oranges
p.p.p.s. do yourselves a favour and go listen to the song. it’s disgustingly cute. if you somehow haven’t heard it yet—first of all, how dare you. second of all, fix that. also. watch skz react to their own mv for it. it’s unhinged. they are unwell. you will be too. you're welcome ♡
The show ends in a blur of lights, sweat, and deafening screams. Chan’s still catching his breath, chest rising and falling beneath the drenched tank top clinging to his body, mic still clipped to his jaw. The rest of the boys are collapsing into couches or toweling off, high on adrenaline and crowd energy.
Chan’s scanning the staff in the hallway with that ever-present leader instinct—checking on everyone, nodding at sound techs, offering quick praise to dancers. He turns the corner near the dressing rooms.
And stops. Like, full stop.
Because you’re standing there.
In his hoodie. Holding a bottle of water. Smiling like you belong here.
Which you do. But he wasn’t expecting you for another week.
“…No way.”
He blinks twice. Looks behind him, like maybe you’re a mirage conjured by exhaustion. Then his whole face shatters into the softest smile you’ve ever seen.
“Wait—no, wait—no way.”
You laugh, arms opening before he even moves.
And then he runs.
No hesitation. No chill. Just full-speed Chan, sweaty, glowing, chest heaving, launching himself into your arms like gravity gave up on him the second you appeared. His arms lock around your waist instantly, head tucked into your neck, and he just holds you.
Tight. So tight it’s like he’s scared you’ll vanish if he lets go.
“You—” his voice cracks, and he laughs into your shoulder, breathless and slightly delirious. “You’re really here.”
You nod, arms around him. “Surprise.”
“Are you kidding?” he whispers, pulling back just enough to look at you, eyes wide, glassy. “That was the best surprise of my entire life.”
You brush his hair off his sweaty forehead. “You killed it out there.”
“I missed you out there,” he says, no filter, no hesitation.
And then he kisses you. Hard. Fast. Desperate. Like he doesn’t have time to say everything he feels and this is the only language he has left. When he pulls back, he presses your foreheads together and murmurs, “Don’t leave. Not yet. I need you right here.”
So you stay. In the hallway. Wrapped in each other. As the rest of the world continues spinning—but he’s only looking at you.
Lee Know // 리노
He’s calm. Collected. Leaning against a wall backstage post-show, sipping from a water bottle and nodding along as someone from staff debriefs him on the schedule. Typical Minho—quiet confidence, unreadable eyes, dancer precision. He just performed for 30,000 people and still looks mildly bored.
Until his gaze shifts. And lands on you.
For a second, he doesn’t react at all. Just stares. Like you short-circuited his brain. Eyes flicking from your shoes, to your hoodie (his), to your soft little smile like:
No. No no no. That’s not real. She’s not supposed to be here—
Then—
“…You’re kidding.” His voice is flat, but his ears are bright red.
You open your arms casually, like this isn’t the most romantic ambush of his life. He blinks. Slowly. Then glances at the staff member, mutters a distracted, “Sorry, I gotta go fall apart real quick,” and walks straight into you.
No running. No drama. Just quiet urgency. Hands on your waist. Forehead against your shoulder. Breathing you in like you’re oxygen and he’s been holding his breath the entire tour.
“I hate you,” he mumbles.
You smile into his hair. “No you don’t.”
He squeezes you tighter. “I really do.”
You laugh. “Why?”
“Because you showed up looking like that and now I have to pretend I’m fine when I’m actually thinking about skipping every stop on this tour just to drag you home.”
Your heart stutters. And then, softer—
“…I missed you.”
He doesn’t say it loud. Doesn’t need to. It’s in the way he won’t let go. The way his jaw’s clenched and his fingers are shaking slightly. The way he presses a kiss to your neck like it’s instinct. He pulls back just enough to look at you, and for the first time in a while—he actually smiles. That rare, real one. The one he only gives you.
“You could’ve warned me,” he says.
You shrug. “Wouldn’t have been as fun.”
He rolls his eyes. Then leans in, whispers in your ear, voice low and warm: “…You’re not sleeping alone tonight. Not after this.”
And you know. Under all the chill, the deadpan sarcasm, the perfect stage face—he’s shaken. And he’s so happy you’re here.
Changbin // 창빈
He’s pacing.
Shirt stuck to his back. Sweat dripping from his neck. Still riding the post-show high—wired, panting, glowing. He’s halfway through retelling a moment from the encore to a staff member, hands flailing, voice slightly hoarse—
Then he sees you.
And it’s over.
The world tilts. The noise dies. And his eyes go wide—like someone hit the brakes on his heart.
“…No way. NO WAY—”
He stumbles forward like his feet can’t decide whether to walk or run. His arms are already out. You barely get a breath in before he scoops you up into the most chaotic, all-consuming bear hug of your life. Your feet leave the floor. Your lungs get crushed. He spins you in a full circle before collapsing against a wall with you still in his arms.
“You—” he breathes, “I’m gonna cry. I swear. I’m not joking.”
You laugh into his neck. “Cry, then.”
“I might! I literally—what the hell. You were supposed to be in another country! You lied to me!”
You look up at him, grinning. “Yeah. And I’d do it again.”
He stares at you, eyes shining with disbelief and affection and something deeper that lives in his chest just for you. And then, he kisses your forehead. Slow. Grateful.
“I missed you so much it physically hurt,” he mumbles, voice cracking.
Then, a beat later: “You’re not leaving. You hear me? You’re staying with me ‘til tour’s over. I don’t care what we have to cancel.”
He presses his forehead to yours, and for a second, he’s not Changbin from Stray Kids. He’s just Binnie. Yours. Sweaty, shaky, and so, so in love.
Hyunjin // 현진
He’s sitting in front of the dressing room mirror. Still in his stage outfit. Still glowing. Still breathing fast. His head is bowed, fingers twitching over his knees, lost in the afterglow of a stage that nearly tore his heart out.
And then—
He looks up. Sees the door open. And sees you. Standing there. Wearing his hoodie. Eyes glassy with emotion, like you’ve been watching him the whole time.
At first, he doesn’t move. Just stares. And then—his whole body shatters. He’s up. Fast. But not loud. Not running. More like a storm gathering itself—slow, trembling, dangerous in how much it feels.
You whisper, “Hi, baby.”
And he’s in front of you before you can finish the breath. Hands cradling your face. Eyes searching yours like you’re not real.
“You—” he whispers, voice hoarse, “—you came?”
You nod. “I couldn’t stay away.”
And his lips part like he wants to say something profound, poetic, worthy of the art you are to him—but instead, all that comes out is:
“…I missed you.”
Then he pulls you in and hugs you like a drowning man grabbing the surface. One hand fisting your shirt. The other buried in your hair. His body shakes.
You feel his breath hitch once. Then again.
“Jinnie,” you whisper, “are you crying?”
He laughs through it, wet and shaky. “Shut up.”
You hold him tighter.
“You always do this to me,” he murmurs against your ear. “You always show up and make me feel like I’m seventeen again. Like love isn’t terrifying. Like I deserve it.”
You cup his cheeks, wipe the tears from under his eyes with your thumbs.
“Because you do.”
And he kisses you. So softly. Like a secret he wants to keep safe. Like he’s terrified this is a dream he’ll wake up from.
Han // 한
He’s still bouncing. Literally. Post-show adrenaline, sweat-drenched tank top, mic still clipped, rambling to whoever will listen about the crowd’s energy like—
“Bro, when the beat dropped in ‘Topline’? I almost exploded. Did you hear them? They were SCREAMING—”
Then he sees you.
You’re standing near the monitors. Hidden behind a stack of towels and staff gear. You’re just smiling, waiting. No cameras. No dramatic intro. Just you, soft-eyed and glowing in his hoodie.
He stares. And then? Absolutely. Freaking. Explodes.
“NO. WAIT—WHAT. WHAT—?!”
He screams. Actually screams. Everyone turns. Staff flinches. Someone drops a water bottle.
“YOU’RE HERE?!!” His voice cracks mid-yell. “YOU LIED TO ME!! YOU ABSOLUTE—ANGELIC—GENIUS—LIAR!!”
He’s running toward you now, full anime-level sprint, and crashes into you like a human wrecking ball. Arms tight, body buzzing, face buried in your neck like he needs to smell you just to prove this is real.
You’re laughing. “Hi, Ji—”
“Don’t talk to me,” he sobs. “You’re not real. I’m dreaming. I died on stage. This is heaven.”
“You’re sweaty.”
“I’m in love.”
You giggle and hug him tighter. He pulls back just enough to cup your face, eyes wide, pupils dilated, voice very serious: “Do you realize what you’ve done? You just caused an actual chemical reaction in my body. Like—my heart rate? THROUGH THE ROOF.”
“You okay?”
“No. Absolutely not. This is the most romantic moment of my entire life. I’m gonna need to sit down or I’ll propose by accident.”
You lean in and kiss the tip of his nose. He melts. Literally folds in half. “I’m keeping you,” he mumbles. “Like. Forever. Tour wife. This is happening. Don’t fight me.”
Felix // 필릭스
He’s glowing.
Skin glistening, hair damp, cheeks flushed from the encore. There’s glitter on his shoulders and stars in his eyes. He’s still catching his breath, thanking staff one by one with the kind of gentle sincerity only Felix knows how to give.
And then he turns the corner and stops breathing entirely.
Because you’re there. Backstage. In his hoodie. Hands behind your back. Smile blooming like spring.
He freezes. No words. No movement. Just a single, whispered—
“Angel…?”
You nod, eyes already brimming with tears. “Hi, sunshine.”
And that’s it. His body moves before his brain catches up. He walks toward you slow, almost reverently—like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he blinks. Then suddenly you’re in his arms. Pressed flush to his chest, arms wrapped tight, face buried in your shoulder as he sighs. Not out of relief—out of pure emotional collapse.
“I missed you so much,” he whispers. “Like—so much. Like every night I looked for you and had to pretend I was fine.”
Your hand runs through his hair. “I know, baby. I know.”
He pulls back just enough to see your face, cupping your cheeks with both hands like you’re made of porcelain and sunlight.
“You’re real. You’re here. You’re mine.”
And then—he kisses you. Soft. Long. Like he has nothing to rush. Like he’s home. When he pulls back, he giggles through a sniffle.
“Okay. No one tell the others but… this is the best part of tour.”
Seungmin // 승민
He’s standing by the water cooler, towel around his neck, completely sweat-soaked and still glowing with that quiet Seungmin-brand confidence. He’s mid-sip when he spots you—half-hidden behind some gear cases, just… watching him.
For a full three seconds, he doesn’t react. Just blinks. Tilts his head. Tries to process. Then you wave. And he chokes on his water. He coughs. Clears his throat. Wipes his mouth on his sleeve. Then squints like you have some explaining to do.
You walk toward him slowly, smiling like you didn’t just shatter his entire emotional equilibrium.
“You—what? You were—” He frowns. “You weren’t supposed to be here.”
“That’s the point,” you say softly.
He goes quiet. Eyes flicking over your face, your outfit (one of his shirts, because of course), the little hopeful twitch of your mouth. And something in him just… cracks. “...That’s really mean,” he mutters, eyes glassy. “I could’ve emotionally prepared. Now I look stupid.”
You smile, stepping into his space, hands finding his waist. “You look perfect.”
He scoffs. “Sweaty. Smells like a wet dog.”
“Still perfect.”
And that’s when he lets out the tiniest, tiniest sigh. Like all the fight went out of him. He tugs you into a hug, arms wrapping around your back, his chin resting lightly on your head. “Don’t let go,” he mumbles. “I’m not doing the rest of tour without this. Just so you know.”
You smile into his chest. “Noted.”
Then, softer, a whisper you almost miss:
“...Thanks for coming back to me.”
I.n // 아이엔
He’s doing his post-show ritual—sitting on the dressing room floor with his legs stretched out, sipping his drink, cheeks flushed from dancing and screaming, trying to act cool even though his adrenaline is still going crazy.
He’s giggling at something a member says when the door creaks.
He looks up. And freezes. Because it’s you. Peeking in, eyes soft, fingers curled around the doorframe like you were nervous to interrupt.
“...Hi, baby,” you whisper.
His jaw actually drops. He blinks once, twice, like his brain needs buffering time.
“…You’re joking,” he finally says.
You step inside slowly. “Not a joke.”
You expect him to run. Cry. Scream. But instead—
He just sits there, completely still. Like his soul left his body for a minute. “…You really came?” he asks, voice small.
You kneel in front of him, taking his face in your hands. “Of course I did.”
And that’s when it happens.
His whole body slumps forward and he buries his face in your neck—arms wrapping around your waist in this desperate, trembling hold like he’s afraid to break you. “I missed you,” he says, so quietly it makes your chest ache. “So much. It’s been so hard.”
You stroke his hair. “You’re doing amazing. I’m so proud of you.”
And then? He starts sniffling. “Noooo don’t say that, I’m gonna cry,” he mumbles, voice cracking. “I was literally fine five seconds ago. This is so unfair.”
You laugh gently. “Cry, Jeonginnie. It’s okay.”
He pulls back, eyes watery, lips trembling into a smile. “I love you,” he blurts out. “A lot. Just—so much.”
And then he hugs you again. Tighter. Softer. Like now that you’re here, nothing else matters. Like home isn’t a place—it’s you.
pairing- kim seungmin x reader
summary- when the world is given 21 days until total destruction, two friends experience the kind of love that never got a chance.
genre- sci-fi, slow-burn romance, angst
word count- ~2.6k
warnings- end-of-world themes, emotional intensity, mild language, grief, existential dread, implied death
a/n- sorry sorry sorry sorry. im on this angsty writing streak right now plwase forgive me. also, if you've ever loved someone in silence until the end, this one's for you.
Three Weeks Prior — Impact Zero
The coffee machine made a noise like it was choking on gravel.
You leaned against the counter in the break room, arms folded, watching the old machine stutter through its final breath. The overhead lights buzzed faintly, casting a yellow tint across the white tile and metal countertops. Everything in this building felt slightly too old, slightly too used — like it had seen better years and was trying to hold on, just like the people inside it.
The mug in your hand had a faded logo on it: NAO — North Atlantic Observatory, your workplace and second home for the last four years. An isolated, high-security research facility perched on the northern coast, built to monitor orbital anomalies and space weather. Boring work most days. Too quiet. But stable.
Until recently.
You rubbed your eyes. The sun wasn’t even up yet. You hadn’t slept.
"Looks like it's finally giving up," came a familiar voice behind you.
You didn’t need to turn around to know it was Seungmin. You just let out a soft huff of a laugh.
"Same," you replied.
He came to stand next to you, setting his elbows on the counter, mirroring your tired posture. His hoodie was half-zipped over his standard-issue uniform, and there was a smudge of graphite on his jaw, probably from him resting his head on his hand while scribbling calculations again. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye.
"You look like hell," you said.
"I aim for consistency." He smiled, but his eyes were tired too. “Also, this is my third shift in a row. I’m legally a ghost now.”
You handed him the mug. “Drink. It’s toxic, but it’s warm.”
He took it, fingers brushing yours for just a second too long. But you didn’t pull away, and neither did he. That was how it always was with you two — almost something, never said.
The silence settled again. There was something about the early hours, before the building came to life, that made everything feel fragile. And lately, fragile felt more like a warning than a mood.
“I checked the readings again,” you said quietly. “There’s still an anomaly near the asteroid belt.”
He didn’t answer immediately. Just sipped.
You glanced at him. “You think it’s real?”
He met your eyes, and his voice dropped. “I think… we’re not being told everything.”
You nodded once. That’s what scared you most.
A faint beep echoed from down the hall — the server room.
Then another. Louder.
Then, the sound that stopped everything: the intercom crackled to life.
“All personnel to stations.
This is not a drill.
Orbital threat confirmed.
Impact trajectory locked.
Impact Zero protocol activated.
Estimated contact: 21 days.
Repeat — this is not a drill.”
The hallway went still.
In the break room, the coffee machine gave a final wheeze and shut down completely.
You didn’t move at first. You were still holding the paper coffee cup, staring at the wall, not quite breathing.
“...No,” Seungmin said under his breath, huffing a laugh. “That’s not—there’s no way.”
You slowly turned your head toward the hallway. Monitors were lighting up outside the glass walls — red lines, looping trajectories, countdowns. Sirens began to flicker faintly through the base, not full blaring yet, just the beginning pulses of something much bigger.
People started rushing down the hall. A tech assistant dropped her tablet. Someone was already shouting into a radio.
You felt it in your chest before your brain caught up: that sinking, weightless drop of understanding.
It wasn’t a glitch. It wasn’t hypothetical. It was real.
“Seungmin,” you said softly.
He was still staring at the floor, the cup forgotten in his hands. His face had gone pale.
When he looked at you, it was the first time in all your years here that he wasn’t joking, wasn’t sarcastic, wasn’t playing anything off.
Just scared. “You don’t think—” he started, voice thin.
“I do,” you said. “I think this is it.”
And suddenly the room felt colder. The air thinner.
He nodded once. Swallowed hard. "Okay."
Then he said it again, quieter. "Okay."
20 Weeks To Impact —
The base fell apart fast after the confirmation.
People ran. Some in blind panic. Others with cold resolve. The top brass left first — whisked away on private jets, secure transports, escorted under military silence. Then the families, the ones with connections. Then the hopefuls, the cowards, the ones who couldn’t face it.
You stayed.
So did Seungmin.
No one told you to. There wasn’t a command, not even a goodbye. Just... silence. The lights in the hallway flickered one morning, and no one came to fix them. You stopped getting updates from command. Coffee stopped brewing. One by one, the monitors went dark.
You and Seungmin stayed in the operations wing, sleeping in shifts, monitoring what little data still came through. It felt pointless, but it was better than waiting with empty hands.
You didn’t talk about the meteor at first. You filled the silence with sarcasm, inside jokes, trading terrible snack bar finds like currency. But your laughs were quieter. Your eyes lingered longer.
One night, Seungmin found an old vinyl tucked in storage. You had no idea why it was there — maybe someone thought the end of the world should have a soundtrack. He didn’t say anything. Just put it on, turned up the volume, and nodded toward you like it was an invitation.
You danced. Badly. Quietly.
He watched you with this look. Like he was memorizing.
You noticed.
14 Days To Impact —
The outside world started showing signs of rot. The power grid flickered. Civilian broadcasts stopped. Riots spread through cities. Roads clogged with cars that never moved again.
From the base, you could see smoke on the horizon almost every day. Not close enough to reach you. But close enough to remind you.
Seungmin stopped making jokes.
You spent a lot of time on the roof.
He started bringing you coffee — the last of it, rationed with ceremony. Some nights you’d find him already there, staring at the stars, and he’d pass you a chipped mug without speaking.
Once, after a long silence, he asked: “Do you think we would’ve made it, if none of this happened?”
You didn’t answer. You couldn’t.
But you stayed next to him until morning.
7 Days To Impact —
By the third week, the base was a ghost. The doors stayed open. Wind blew dust across the lobby. No one was coming back.
There was no plan anymore. No broadcasts. No hopeful countdowns. Just a sky that grew redder every night.
You stopped checking the data. You started living in the in-between moments — eating together in the empty mess hall, flipping through old books, playing music through speakers with frayed wires.
One night, you woke from a nightmare — fire, sky splitting in half — and walked out into the hallway barefoot, your chest tight.
Seungmin was already there. Sitting on the cold floor, head back against the wall, eyes wide open.
You sat next to him.
Neither of you said anything.
You leaned your head on his shoulder.
He didn’t move away.
Two Days To Impact —
Now, it's quiet.
The kind of quiet that wraps around your bones. No sirens. No more data. No more pretending.
You and Seungmin packed small bags. Not because you were going anywhere — just because it felt like doing something.
You didn’t ask where he wanted to go.
He just said, “There’s a place I used to go when I was a kid. A drive-in theater just outside town. Haven’t been there in years.”
You nodded.
He looked at you like he was asking for more than permission.
You nodded again.
Tomorrow, you’d drive out together.
Watch a movie that isn’t playing.
Under stars that are about to disappear.
And maybe — finally — say all the things you never let yourselves say before.
Day Of The Impact — 2 Hours Until Impact
The sky looked wrong.
Too bright, too red — like the sun had cracked open and started bleeding. Clouds moved strangely, fast and low, as if the world knew what was coming and couldn’t sit still.
But the drive-in was still there.
It sat at the edge of the world.
Not literally — just on the edge of what used to be town. But now, with the roads abandoned and the sky sick with color, it felt like the end of everything. The rusted sign out front still read COSMIC DRIVE-IN in broken letters, and beneath it, someone had spray-painted: “Now Showing: THE END”.
Seungmin parked the car right in front of the big screen.
It leaned, weathered and stained by time, but still standing. Behind the projection booth, the hills rolled out into darkening gold, shadows stretching across the horizon. The sky looked bruised — reds and purples and sick yellows blending into something unnatural.
He turned off the engine.
Neither of you moved for a moment.
“Give me ten minutes,” he said, grabbing the backpack and hopping out.
You stayed seated, eyes scanning the horizon. The clouds pulsed faint orange. Your chest was tight with something massive and unnamed.
Ten minutes later, a sudden flicker lit up the screen.
And then — impossibly — the projector began to hum.
You stepped out, stunned, watching grainy black-and-white spill across the canvas.
Casablanca
Seungmin stood by the shack-turned-booth like it was something sacred. The screen flickered behind him, a grainy beam of black and white cutting across the gravel lot. He crossed his arms, the corners of his mouth tugged up in a smile that looked half triumphant, half broken — like a man who just held a crumbling world together with duct tape and spit and sheer willpower.
He walked back to you, slow and steady, never taking his eyes off your face. Like he was memorizing it.
“I figured...” he said quietly, voice rough with exhaustion and something deeper, “if we’re going out… we should go out watching something that knew how to end.”
You tried to smile, but your lip trembled. Your whole body did.
“God, Seungmin,” you breathed, barely audible. “I’m so fucking scared.”
His face changed — just slightly, just enough. Like a crack down the center of a mask that had held too long. He closed the distance between you in a single heartbeat and wrapped his arms around you like he meant to fight the sky itself.
“I know,” he whispered into your hair, his voice shaking. “Me too.”
You held on like the world was already slipping, like the ground might fall away if you let go. Around you, the gravel lot was still. The air thick with the static of endings. On the screen, Bogart told Ingrid goodbye — again, like he always did. For the hundredth time. Maybe the last time.
You pulled back just far enough to see Seungmin’s eyes. He was already looking at you like he’d never seen anything else.
“I should’ve said this before,” you whispered. “I should’ve said it a thousand times.”
His hands stayed on your waist. Gentle. Solid.
“Then say it now.”
Your throat tightened. The words hurt coming out, like your lungs weren’t built to carry them.
“I love you.”
It broke something open between you — not cleanly, not neatly, but like a dam splitting at the seams. Seungmin didn’t flinch. He didn’t even blink.
“I’ve loved you,” he said, voice cracked and raw, “since the first time you brought me that godawful coffee and told me my hair looked like a dying poodle.”
You choked out a laugh that turned into a sob.
“Since you didn’t leave. Since every night we waited and wondered and watched the sky, and you were still here. You always stayed.”
And then you kissed him.
Not like the movies — there was no slow lean-in, no swelling music. It was desperate. Messy. Your teeth bumped. Your tears mixed. It was the kind of kiss people don’t survive without. The kind that says if we go, we go like this.
You didn’t stop there.
In the front seat of the car, with the old blanket pulled over half your bodies, skin pressed to skin, you clung to each other like drowning things. No words. Just gasps, touches, sobs muffled against each other’s throats. His hands trembled against your spine. Your fingers curled in his hair like lifelines. You made promises without saying them — promises the world didn’t have time left to keep.
Above you, the stars were bleeding red.
But for one hour, it didn’t matter.
For one hour, there was only the warmth of him, the sound of his breathing, your heartbeat syncing with his.
After, you lay curled against his chest, your head rising and falling with every breath he still managed to take. Casablanca was long over. The screen was blank. The speakers had gone quiet.
The silence felt like it was holding its breath.
And then you felt it.
That low, distant rumble.
Not a sound — not really. More like a presence. A vibration that moved through your bones like thunder in the marrow. You both sat up slowly, instinct holding you still.
Far on the horizon, the sky had torn. A jagged seam of light split the clouds, too bright to be natural. Too vast. It didn’t spread — it consumed.
You reached for Seungmin’s hand. He caught it instantly, but his fingers were shaking. Yours were too. You held on like it would anchor you. Like it could undo what was coming.
Seungmin looked at you like you were the last real thing left in the world.
“I’m not scared anymore,” he said, and it sounded like the end of something.
Tears ran down your cheeks, hot and endless.
“I am,” you whispered.
He leaned in. Forehead pressed to yours. Eyes wet, but steady.
“I got you,” he said.
The light swelled.
Everything turned gold and white and endless, like the stars had come down all at once to burn the earth clean.
You didn’t look away from him.
He kissed you, one final time.
No fear. No future. Just now.
And when the sky came down, he held you like he could hold it back.
Year 147 A.I.Z (After Impact Zero)
The road was cracked, but it held.
Weeds had burst through the asphalt in places, curling like green veins across what used to be highways. A rusted sign leaned sideways at the turnoff:
— COSMIC DRIVE-IN — CLOSED —
No one had come here in years.
The girl stepped out of the all-terrain rover, dust kicking up beneath her boots. She was young — maybe twenty. Hair pulled back in a knot, a thick canvas jacket with a radiation patch on the sleeve. She carried a small camera slung across her chest.
She walked slowly across the gravel lot.
The metal speaker poles were still there, bent and sun-bleached. The snack shack was nothing more than a shell, but the screen stood — faded, cracked down one side, but standing.
She lifted her camera and took a photo.
Inside the booth, everything was half-rotted. Dust covered the console, but the projector still sat like a sleeping relic. She brushed off the label:
Model 1973 | Last Run Logged: April 11
She paused. Eyes narrowed. Something glinted under a drawer.
A tape. A movie. Casablanca.
Old, black, and barely labeled. The words scratched in shaky handwriting:
“our last night — s.”
She took it.
The moment felt sacred.
As she turned to leave, she noticed two names, scratched into the wall of the booth with what looked like a key:
Y/N & Seungmin
Final Show.
She didn’t know who they were.
But when she got back to the rebuilt city, she’d restore the film. She’d watch it. She’d tell people.
And they would remember.
Title Card
LAST NIGHT AT THE CINEMA
They didn’t make history.
But they made a moment.
One screen. One love. One ending.
April 11 — The world fell silent.
But their story played until the final light.
Trigger Warnings: Pregnancy, mentions of drunken nights, inaccurate medical terminology, hospitalization, mentions of traumatic birth, mention of placental abruption, cussing, blood,
Word Count: 7k
Summary: You and Hyunjin had started off as best friends but after a drunken night where drunk confessions led to more, an accidental pregnancy occured. You and Hyunjin were both scared of what the future held but as time went on Hyunjin became more and more distant. After a while you couldn't stand it anymore and ask him about it. It leads to a big fight, which leads to months of not talking, after he almost loses you and the baby, you work together to repair what was broken. Will the relationship be saved?
Bang Chan | Lee Know | Seo Changbin | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin
Photo's do not belong to me, credit goes to photographers
I had been best friends with Hyunjin for years and as much as I hated to admit it, over those years I had fallen in love with him. I had always thought that there was no way that he could ever feel the same way about me, because I mean he’s him and I’m well me. But to my surprise after a drunken night together after one of his award shows feelings came out and things got heated. We decided that we would try and see where a relationship between us might go but keep it on the down low, only his members and his management knew. It wasn’t entirely what I wanted but I knew that it was what was best at the moment, we didn’t know where things would go or what the future held for us.
Present:
It had been about two months since the night that Hyunjin and I had drunkenly confessed and slept together. It had been the best two months of my life, no longer having to hide how I felt from him, getting to be on the receiving end of his affection felt better than I had ever expected. The only issue is that the entire time I’ve been feeling sick, I didn’t want to think anything of it but when my period hadn’t shown up for two months I knew that the likelihood of what that meant was something that none of us were prepared for. I knew what the likely answer was but with confirmation from the pregnancy test and from the doctor, I knew that I needed to tell Hyunjin sooner rather than later. I needed to tell him soon so that if he decided that this was something that he wasn’t ready for then I would have enough time to mentally prepare myself to have the baby by myself. I knew that he was coming over tonight so I would be able to tell him tonight, not have to text him in the middle of his work day and stress him out.
That night:
I was so zoned out reading a book that I didn’t hear Hyunjin come in, he had tried to get my attention but when he touched my shoulder I jumped so high that he couldn’t contain his laughter.
“Jinnie, Jesus baby.”
“I’m sorry Jagi. I tried to get your attention but you were so engrossed in your book that you didn’t hear me.”
“Sorry baby, it’s a really good book.”
“How has your day been?”
“It’s been quite eventful.”
“Why do you say that?” he questions as he sits down beside me.
“Um, well I guess there really is no easy way to tell you this.”
“What is it baby, you’re starting to worry me.”
“I’m pregnant.”
“What?”
“I’m pregnant, Jinnie.”
“Really?!”
“Yes. I wanted to tell you sooner rather than later, so that we could talk about what we wanted to do. But I want you to know that whether or not you decide to stay, I’m keeping the baby and I’m going to raise him or her.”
“You think I’d leave you to do this on your own?” he looks at me, highly offended.
“I don’t know Jinnie, you are doing amazing in your career right now and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.”
“Jagi, I’d never leave you to raise a baby on your own. It might be hard but I will do whatever I need to, to be by your side through this. Because I want this baby with you.”
“You want the baby?”
“Of course I do. I know we haven’t been in a relationship for very long but y/n I have loved you for years, I have always wanted children with you. Up until two months ago I never thought that I’d ever get to have you as my girlfriend and now knowing that you are carrying my child, it’s the best news that I could ever get.”
“You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that Jinnie. I was really nervous to tell you but I knew that you deserved to know.”
“I’m glad that you told me.” He pulled me into him, holding me close to him while resting his hand on my nonexistent baby bump.
“I was really scared that I was going to have to do this on my own.”
“Never Jagi, never.”
That night as we lay in bed, not even talking, just cuddling together, we enjoyed each other's presence and the presence of the new life that we are bringing into the world together. We don’t know what the future truly holds for us but we know that as long as we are together we can get through whatever might come our way.
Two Months Later:
It’s been four months since that fateful night, things have been amazing between us and I couldn’t have asked for a better partner to have this baby with. We still haven’t told any of his members due to the fact that we are honestly both scared of how they might react. We might send Chan into an early grave with the fact that Hyunjin is having a kid at this point in their career. But we both know that as I continue to get bigger, as the baby continues to grow we need to tell him, before he finds out on his own from seeing the baby bump. He spends more nights at my apartment than he does at the dorms, thankfully Changbin just chalks it up to the fact that it’s a new relationship and we want to spend as much time together as we can. When Hyunjin gets home that night I know that I need to talk to him about telling Chan.
“Hey Jinnie, can we talk once you get settled in?”
“Sure Jagi, is everything ok? Is there something wrong with the baby?””
“Yes, yes everything is fine and no there’s nothing wrong with the baby.”
“Oh good. Let me change and then we can talk.” It doesn't take him long to change and before I know it he’s back in the living room, sitting across from me.
“What did you want to talk about Jagi?”
“I’m already four months pregnant, and it’s getting harder to hide the bump. I think that we should tell Chan and maybe the other boys?”
“I think that you’re right. I know he won’t be too happy but at the end of the day he is my leader and he does need to know. Do you want to tell just Chan first or would you like to tell all of the boys at the same time?”
“I think that it would be easier to tell them all at the same time, don’t you think?”
“I think that would be smart, I could invite them over for dinner tomorrow night. Do we want to cook or order take out?”
“I think with how stressful tomorrow is going to be, I think that it would be best to order take out.”
“I can order it when I’m leaving work tomorrow and pick it up on my way over.”
“Thank you baby.”
“Of course Jagi, I want to make this as easy as possible for you.”
While I finished preparing our dinner Hyunjin went and texted the boys to let them know that he needed them to come over for dinner tomorrow. I soon got a text from Chan asking if everything was alright, he was worried because of what Hyunjin had said in his text. Hyunjin was so in his head that he had made the text sound ominous and like there was something wrong. I just shook my head at the poor man and texted Chan back letting him know that everything was fine, just that there was something we wanted to tell everyone and it was easier to tell them all at once.
The Next Night:
Hyunjin was on his way home, the boys said they would be over just a little later so that we had time to get everything prepared. They didn’t want to all show up at the same time and overwhelm us. I was thankful that they were giving us time so that I could mentally prepare myself a little bit more for any outcome that might happen. We got so caught up in each other that we didn’t hear the knocks on the door until whoever was here was basically pounding on the door. While Hyunjin set the food and plates out, I went to let the boys in.
“Sorry boys, didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” I expected there to only be a few of the boys but to my surprise everyone was here.
“No worries, Noona.” Innie responds as he and the rest of the boys make their way into my apartment.
“What’s the occasion? Why are we all here? Not that I mind free food.” Changbin questions, giving me a quick hug as he passes by.
“Jinnie and I have something we wanted to tell everyone, but we didn’t want to do it over the phone. So we figured what better way to do it than at a family dinner, plus me.”
“Who are you kidding y/nnie, you’re part of our family.” Chan seems surprised by my comment of not being part of the skz family but doesn’t add anything more.
“Jinnie is in the dining room, the food should be all ready. I’m sure you boys are hungry after your busy schedules today.”
“We are always hungry, especially Changbin.” Seungmin makes a jab at Changbin, trying to escape Changbins manhandling by hiding behind Chan but Chan moves out of the way at the last second.
“Go eat, you goof balls.”
After making sure that everyone had gotten an adequate amount of food and was thoroughly stuffed, Jinnie and I looked at each other, having a silent conversation knowing that now was better than ever to tell the boys about my pregnancy.
“Boys, before you go into your respective food coma’s there’s something that we want to tell you.” I add in a joke, trying to lighten the mood and ease my nerves.
“Is everything ok?” Channie asks, looking at Hyunjin and I with curious eyes.
“Yes, everything is ok but it’s a pretty serious matter.” Hyunjin answered for me, knowing that my anxiety surrounding telling them was already pretty high.
“Alright, we are all ears.” Minho responds, adding into the conversation finally. Hyunjin turns to me, looking for my permission to still tell them, I gently nod to him that it’s ok.
“Y/n is pregnant. And the baby is mine.”
“Wait what!? You guys are having a baby?” Felix questions, making sure he heard Hyunjin correctly.
“Yes, we are. Y/n is currently four months pregnant.”
“That would mean that she got pregnant before you guys got together officially.” Minho adds to the conversation.
“I know and I know what you might be thinking, but the baby is mine. I won’t go into the details but I promise we know that the baby is mine.”
“As long as you are sure. No offense y/n, we love you but you also know how many pregnancy allegations he gets every year.” Minho responds.
“I do know Minho, and I appreciate the fact that you are looking out for him but I can 100 percent guarantee that this baby is Hyunjins. He’s the only person I have been with in over three years.”
“Hyunjin, y/n can I talk to you two in private please.” Chan asks, standing up from his chair. He looks upset and that worries me.
“Of course Channie. We can talk in my bedroom, that’s the only private place in this apartment.”
Hyunjin and I walk to my bedroom with Chan following us. I know that he isn’t happy about the circumstances but I hope that he will still support us and understand that we want this baby. Out of all the member’s reactions, his was the one that I was the most worried about, I knew that as the leader he would have the most worries about what this could mean for the group. I don’t think that either of us were prepared for how upset he would be while still being so supportive.
“What on earth were the two of you thinking?” Chan angrily asks as soon as he knows that we are alone.
“We didn’t mean for it to happen Chan, it was an accident.” Hyunjin replies, subtly stepping forward and in front of me, putting himself between me and Chan’s anger.
“Why did you wait four months to tell me about this, you should have told me as soon as you found out. This is the kind of thing that I need to know as your leader Hyunjin.”
“Chan, it wasn’t his fault. I was the one who told him to wait to tell anyone, he was just following what I asked.”
“I get that you might have been scared but do you understand what kind of position that you put me in?”
“We truly didn’t mean to Chan, if you need someone to put the blame on, put it on me. I was the one who told him to wait, the blame should be on me.”
“What! No y/n, if the blame isn’t on me then it would be on the both of us. I chose to listen and not say anything, that’s on me.”
“We’ll need to talk to management and the CEO.”
“We know, but we wanted to tell you first.”
“I appreciate that but you put me in a hard spot. I’ll support you no matter what but you cannot let this affect your career or the group.”
“I understand.”
Both Hyunjin and I felt bad about putting Chan in a hard place, we didn’t mean to and we didn’t think about how this might affect him. We were both thankful that the boys were so supportive of the whole situation, letting us know that if we needed anything to just let them know. They wanted to make this pregnancy as easy as possible.
Two Months Later:
The first month after we had told the boys things between Hyunjin and I were great, he was so supportive and so sweet about everything. Bringing me anything that I could want or need, even if I didn’t ask for it. But around a month ago things had slowly started to change, he slowly started becoming more distant and cold towards me. Without his usual support it made things harder to manage, I knew that he was stressed from work. The company hadn’t taken the news of my pregnancy the greatest but at the end of the day they said that as long as it didn’t affect his work and the group they would be supportive. Every time that I try to talk to him about what’s been going on he always says that nothings wrong and to not worry about it. I wanted to try and talk to him again, but any time he gets home goes to his art studio that I set up for him so he’d have a place to relax here. I knew I needed to talk to him soon, especially with the baby coming in a few months.
I wanted to talk to him tonight at dinner but when he came home he completely ignored me and went straight to his art studio. It hurt that he didn’t even acknowledge me, I knew he was stressed but that still wasn’t an excuse for ignoring me. I was slightly nervous to talk to him but I knew that it needed to be done.
“Hey Jinnie, I know it’s your studio time but can we please talk.” I try to get his attention but he continues to ignore me.
“Jinnie, please.” I try again.
“Can you leave me alone? I came in here for a reason.”
“We really need to talk though.”
“God damn it y/n, leave me alone. What part of leave me alone can you not fucking understand.”
“Hyunjin, what is going on with you? Why are you being like this?”
“Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I don’t want to see you, that you fucking annoy the shit out of me. You always want something from me, whether it be physical or just my fucking attention.”
“You don’t mean that.” I say, hoping that what he said isn’t true.
“I do, I really fucking do. You are so fucking clingy y/n, the only reason that I still come over is because I know that if I didn’t you’d throw a fucking hissy fit and I can’t deal with that. But my god y/n, I knew you were clingy when we were friends but fuck you are so much worse. I wish we never slept together and I wish that we weren’t having this fucking baby.”
“Hyunjin, you’re just stressed.”
“No, I’m really not. I wish we never slept together and I wish that we were never having a baby. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t have this baby, especially not with you.”
“Hyunjin.”
“Stop being so fucking clingy and leave me the fuck alone y/n. Fucking leave me alone.”
“Hyunjin, you're scaring me. I know I can be clingy sometimes but I can change. I swear I can change.”
“Just fuck off y/n, I don’t want you and I sure as hell don’t want that fucking baby. It has done nothing but caused me issues.”
I don’t recognize the man in front of me, he isn’t the man that I love and the man that I am supposed to be having a baby with. I don’t even know what to say to him, how do I respond to the fact that he doesn’t want to have a kid with me anymore. What changed, why does he no longer want this? I don’t know what to do so I text Chan, seeing if he can talk to Hyunjin, maybe change his mind. He thankfully would be able to come over now and help me out.
“Chan is coming over.”
“Leave me alone y/n. Why are you even still here?”
“This is my apartment Hyunjin, I’m not going to leave.”
“God dammit y/n, I don’t know why I fucking slept with you.” He angrily shoves past me, walking out of the apartment.
I just sit on the couch, not even knowing what to do or say. I love him and it’s obvious that he doesn’t love me anymore. If he did, he would never say these things to me. When Chan gets here, he just walks in and when he sees me sitting on the couch crying, he knows that things went wrong. He does his best to support me but I couldn’t focus on anything.
“Y/n, I need you to calm down. Focus on your breathing, for the baby please.”
“He doesn’t love me anymore, he doesn’t want this baby Chan.”
“I don’t know why, but I know that what he said isn’t true y/n. He loves you and he wants this baby with you.”
“He doesn’t, not anymore.”
“I promise y/n, I know that he loves you and this baby.”
Chan tries to get me to calm down the best that he can and once I’m calm enough that he could confidently leave me alone. After he left, I cried myself to sleep, knowing that I would have to raise this baby by myself. When I thought that I would have the support of Hyunjin, I no longer have that and I don’t know if I will have the support of the boys. I am so tired that the moment my head hits my pillow, I am out like a light. I don’t know what will happen between Hyunjin and I, he was everything to me and apparently I was nothing to him.
Two Months Later:
These last two months of my pregnancy without Hyunjin by my side have been the hardest two months of my life. Chan has been doing his best to be there for me but he’s caught between a rock and a hard place. He wants to be there for both Hyunjin and I and he doesn’t know what to do. I don’t want to put him in this position, he shouldn’t have to be in this position but it’s hard. Even with his support I feel like I am completely alone in this, they were his friends before mine and I know that at the end of the day they will choose him if it comes down to it.
I’m trying to get through some of my daily chores but the baby is really active and it’s honestly pretty painful. I decided that I wanted to keep it a surprise until the birth, I had wanted to find out the gender with Hyunjin but I know he doesn’t want anything to do with this pregnancy. The day that he walked out was the last day that I heard from him, Chan tried to keep me updated but after a while I asked that he not update me on him anymore.
As I was doing the last of my chores I felt an immense pain in my stomach, the kind that wasn’t the baby kicking. It knocked the wind out of me and I could hardly breathe, I knew that this kind of pain wasn’t normal. When I looked down at my bump, I noticed that the floor beneath me had drips of blood and it was slowly getting to be more and more. I was slowly panicking more and more because I knew that this amount of blood was not normal. I knew that I should have called the hospital but I was panicking and wanted comfort. I wanted to call Hyunjin, but I knew that I couldn’t, instead I called Chan. He thankfully picks up on the third ring.
“Channie, somethings wrong. Chan I’m scared.”
“Um, Chan’s in the recording booth.” I knew that voice, it’s a voice I haven’t heard in two months.
“Fuck, get him please. There’s too much blood, something is wrong.”
“Wait blood? What do you mean by blood?”
“Get Channie please, I can’t do this on my own. Something’s wrong with my baby.” I say in full panic, not even really listening to him.
“Fuck, ok.”
Hyunjin’s POV:
I didn’t mean to, I knew that I shouldn’t have but when I saw that Chan’s phone was ringing with y/n’s name I didn’t think before picking up. The moment that she said that there was blood, I panicked and I knew I had no right to be worried. I lost that right when I snapped at her two months ago, when I said that I didn’t want this baby but that wasn’t true. I was stressed and overworking myself and I know that’s no excuse but every day since it’s happened I have regretted it. But I knew that I couldn’t take those words back, no matter how badly I wished that I could. One minute she was panicking, talking about how she needed Chan and that something was wrong with the baby and the next moment she was silent.
“Han, Changbin, save whatever recordings you have. Y/n needs Chan.”
“Is she ok?” Han asks, worried about his friend.
“No, she was bleeding and panicking and now the line is silent.”
“Shit, ok. You get Chan and get to the hospital, I will call an ambulance to her apartment.” Changbin says as he saves their work, Chan looks confused as the recording cuts off.
“Why’d the recording stop?”
“Something is wrong with y/n.” I say, panicked as he comes out.
“Shit, what’s wrong? Is it the baby?” He asks as he throws on his coat and heads to the door.
“I think it’s both. Chan I know I fucked up but please let me come with, I’ll stay out of the way and she doesn’t have to know that I am there.”
“I can’t talk about this right now Hyunjin so if you are coming, hurry your ass up and let's go.”
I don’t argue, I shut up and follow him. I know that I fucked up, big time but I want to try and repair my relationship with her. Even if we just become friends again, I should have never treated her this way, I should have never abandoned her when she needed me most, when she needed my support with the baby. Why was I so stupid and let the panic control me? I love her and she believes that I don’t, that I don’t love her or our baby. It’s so far from the truth, I love her and this baby so much but I was a fucking coward who took the easy way out instead of talking to her about my fears and in turn I missed everything.
At the Hospital:
Chan doesn’t even check to make sure that I’m following him, he was serious about the fact that he cannot deal with this right now. His main concern right now is y/n and not making sure that my dumb ass is following him. I rush after him, letting him do all of the talking with the nurses and doctors, knowing that he is the one that needs to do this even though I want to. I have to trust that everything will be ok, that the baby and y/n are ok.
“Are you friends or family of y/n?” the doctor asks.
“We are family.” Chan responds.
“Alright, let's go sit down. This won’t be easy to hear.”
“Is she ok?” I ask, panicked.
“Hyunjin, sit down and shut up.” Chan snaps, I know that he is worried about his friend and he didn’t mean to snap.
“She is stable but she isn’t out of the woods yet.”
“What happened? She was saying that there was blood, that’s not normal is it?” Chan asks, trying to figure out what happened.
“Spotting throughout pregnancy is normal, however the amount of bleeding that she experienced is not. Whoever called the ambulance called at the right time, if they had brought her in any later I don’t know if mother and child would have both been saved.” The doctor answers.
“The baby is ok?” I ask, not caring that Chan told me to be quiet.
“You are?” The doctor questions, not sure if it’s ok to tell me the answer.
“He’s the idiotic father.”
“Yes, the baby is ok. We got her out in time, she’s up in the nursery.”
“It’s a baby girl? I have a daughter?”
“A healthy baby girl, yes. She came early but she was healthy.”
“What happened with y/n, why was she bleeding?” Chan asks, worried about y/n.
“Right, when she was brought in she had severe vaginal bleeding. Upon further inspection we discovered that she had placental abruption.” The doctor explains.
“Placental abruption? What is that?” I ask, knowing that it’s not something good.
“It’s where the placenta prematurely separates from the uterine wall. It causes a lack of oxygen and nutrients to the baby, in y/n’s case she had severe bleeding.”
“Is there a specific reason that this happened?” Chan asks.
“It can happen for multiple reasons, but in y/n’s case the reason is unknown. She is still asleep in recovery. She will have to be in the ICU for a few days to make sure that there isn’t any more bleeding, after that she will stay for another week for observation before going home. When she is home she will need help, she won’t be able to lift the baby until the stitches come out. Someone will need to stay with her and the baby 24/7 until then.”
“Thank you doctor, can we go see her?” Chan asks.
“Yes, and if you would like to see the baby just let the nurses know.”
“Um, doctor. What do we tell the nurses to see the baby?” I ask, for some reason nervous about the answer.
“Just tell them that you would like to see the l/n baby.”
“Thank you.”
I silently follow Chan up to her room, I don’t even know what to say. Y/n had major bleeding and she doesn’t even know that she, we have a daughter. I just hope and pray that after some much needed groveling she will let me be in my daughter's life, even if I don’t deserve it. Fuck how could I have been so stupid, how could I have left her when I still loved her. I never stopped loving her and I never will, and if someday she takes me back I will forever be thankful and if she doesn’t I will be thankful for the time that I did get to spend with her.
Your POV:
I don’t know what happened, one minute I was awake and talking to him. And the next I was waking up in a hospital room, my immediate thought was my baby, when I went to feel them I noticed that my belly was squishy. My baby was gone, I had lost the baby. I began panicking, tears forming in my eyes as I thought about the fact that I had lost the last piece of Hyunjin that I had. I may be upset with him, but I still loved him and I didn’t want to lose the baby. In my panic I didn’t notice that Chan had been in my hospital room, when he noticed that I was panicking he rushed over to me.
“Shh, calm down. It’s ok.”
“I lost the baby, I lost the last piece of him that I had.”
“Y/nnie, the baby is ok. Your baby is alive and well.”
“Channie, please don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not, I promise.” His words do little to soothe me.
“Channie, please.”
“I’ll have the nurse bring them in. They’ll want to meet their mama.”
“You aren’t lying? They’re really ok?”
“They are perfectly ok, they came early but were still ok.”
Chan let the nurse know that we wanted to see my baby, she said that she would bring her down to us. Hearing her say that I had a baby girl brought another round of tears to my eyes, I always imagined that I would be a girl mom and now knowing that I have a baby girl, I couldn’t be happier. But in the back of my mind, I wish that Hyunjin was here, god I wish that I could forget about him but I love him and have loved him for years, I carried his child for nine months almost so how could I not wish he was here?
“Channie, has anyone let Hyunjin know that the baby came?”
“Please don’t be mad.”
“What? Why would I be mad?”
“He came with me to the hospital, he was there when the doctor told us that it was a baby girl. He’s actually been here the entire time, hasn’t left since you were admitted three days ago.”
“What? Why, why would he stay?”
“Y/n, I don’t know what he was thinking or why he did what he did but I can promise you that he regrets it. That man is so in love with you, he about lost it when he thought that you had died.”
“Why, why would he say these things to me then?”
“Only he can answer that. What I do know is that he has requested an extended hiatus so that he can be there for you and the baby should you need or want him there.”
“He did what?!”
“He did it the same night you were brought in.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s up in the nursery with the baby.”
“Can you have him come in here?”
“If that is what you want, yes.”
“I need to talk to him.” He doesn’t question why, and thankfully I don’t have to explain why I want to talk to him. When the nurse comes down with the baby, while I hold her and meet her Chan is going to let me talk to him.
“Chan said that you wanted to talk to me.” Hyunjin said, peeking his head into the room.
“Yes, I do.” I say not looking at him.
“Is everything ok?”
“Why are you taking an extended hiatus?”
“Look, I know I fucked up, I’ll admit that. I was stressed and overworked but that isn’t an excuse and I know that. I want to do my best to try and make it up to you, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but selfishly I am asking if I can work to gain it.”
“I don’t know Hyunjin, you really hurt me. How can I expect you to be there for me when you weren’t when I really needed you?’
“There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t regretted what I said to you, I was an idiot and if I could turn back time and go back to that day and change what I did, I would. But I can’t, so I am here begging for another chance to earn your trust and prove to you that I can be both reliable for you and our daughter. Even if I have you as just my friend, that is better than not having you in my life at all.”
“You have no romantic expectations?”
“None at all. I just want to have you in my life again, I miss our conversations, our late night laughs and our movie nights.”
“Prove to me that I can rely on you and maybe I will forgive you Hyunjin. Help me with her for the next two months and we will go from there.”
“Anything y/n, anything you need.”
Six Months Later:
I had told Hyunjin that he had two months to prove to me that he was serious and during those two months, he went above and beyond to show me he was serious. He stayed at my apartment with me, staying in the nursery most nights with Dae. I expected that some nights he would have me help with night feedings but to my surprise he fully took over the night feedings and only woke me up when I needed to pump. I never thought that he would be here to help me, but having him here during the early stages of having her home was extremely helpful. As I watched him with her, I couldn’t help but remember why and how much I loved him. Even after everything I still loved him, even though I shouldn’t. He never tried to be anything other than her father and a friend to me. But god, I miss him and want nothing more than to have him back. I was so in my head that I didn’t notice he was trying to talk to me until he waved his hand in front of me.
“What’s goin on in that head of yours?”
“Huh?”
“You zoned out on me, are you feeling ok?”
“I’m ok. I really appreciate you being here to help me. But don’t you want to go back to work?”
“Not until you are ready to handle Dae on your own.”
“Don’t you want your old life back, the one where you had no worries?”
“No, no I don’t. I’m happy with the life that I have now. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
“Why? Before you had no responsibility and now you have so much?”
“Y/n, when I said that I didn’t want her, it wasn’t true. At no point was it ever true that I never wanted our daughter. And God I hate myself for what I said and did to you, you never ever deserved that and I will forever work to prove to you how sorry I am.”
“God, it’s so hard Hyunjin.”
“What is? Are you ok?”
“No, I’m not. It’s hard wanting to be with you romantically after watching you with Dae, but remembering all the things that you said.” my eyes begin to tear up.
“Y/n, you have no idea how sorry I am for everything. I wish I could turn back time, but I can’t. I want you to know that I never stopped loving you.” He reaches for me but at the last second hesitates.
“Why, why would you say those things if you didn’t mean them?”
“I don’t know. I truly don’t know, I wish that I did know why I said those things but I don’t. But I want you to know that until my soul no longer roams this earth I will always love you and I will always love our daughter.”
“Hyunjin, you can’t just say stuff like that.”
“It’s the truth y/n. I will always love you, even after we are no longer breathing.”
“How can I trust that you won’t break me again.”
“You can’t, not fully but I will never treat you that way again ever. The look of heartbreak and devastation on your face broke me and if I could have I would slap my past self so hard that some sense was knocked into me.”
“I’m scared Hyunjin.”
“I know, I’m scared too. But I will never treat you that way again.”
“God please do not make me regret this, you get one chance. Prove to me that you are sorry and mean what you say.”
“I will do anything.”
“Me telling you what you have to do, defeats the purpose.”
Over the next few weeks and then the next few months, Hyunjin works to prove to me that he is sorry and every day I feel how much he truly meant it when he said that he was sorry. We started off slow, and slowly worked our way back into possibly being more than friends. I never gave him the false hope that there would be a relationship at the end of the day but over time he showed me that he would be happy with whatever he got, whether that be friends or a relationship.
Three months after our talk he and I had sat down together, watching a movie before both of us headed to bed. Neither of us wanted to talk but wanted to just be in each other's presence, through the baby monitor we heard Dae cry out. I went to get up but he beat me to it, telling me to sit and relax. He’d take care of her, every day I could see the love that he had for her and every day it made my heart swell with love. He loved her so much and she had him wrapped around her tiny finger. I know he told me to sit back and relax but I couldn’t help myself. I followed him down the hallway and watched as he fed and burped her, rocking her and singing until she fell back asleep. When he saw me in the doorway he sent a small smile, it was easy to smile back.
“I thought I said to stay back in the living room?”
“I know but I couldn’t help myself, you’re so good with her.” I watch as he walks towards me, out into the hallway and shutting her door.
“You should relax, you deserve it.”
“For what? You’ve done everything for her today?”
“You carried her for nine months y/n, I’m more than happy to help.” he walks up to me, expecting me to move back into the living room.
“You are great with her, I hope you realize that.”
“You are great with her as well y/n.”
“She adores you Hyunjin, when she is unconsolable you are the only one able to calm her down.”
“She adores you y/n, trust me.” He pulls me into a hug, not giving me the chance to argue with him.
I don’t argue with him, knowing that it’s pointless. As he hugs me, I realize that I’ve missed this so much and being back in his arms felt amazing. Before I can even think about it, I slightly pull back from him, he gives me a questioning look but before I can even think of an answer I lightly press my lips to his. He stands there stunned for a moment before his brain kicks back into gear and kisses me back, the kiss isn’t long but it’s full of unsaid emotions and months worth of longing. When we pull back, he rests his forehead on mine.
“What was that for?”
“I wasn’t thinking. But I don’t regret it.”
“I don’t either. Y/n, I miss you so much, more than I can even express with words.”
“I’m terrified, but I want to try again. I want to be with you.”
“Y/n, I want that, more than anything but are you sure?”
“Yes, I want to try a relationship again.” He doesn't give me an answer, instead he presses his lips to mine again. Kissing him felt like a breath of fresh air, like something I didn’t know I was missing until I had it again.
“Jinnie, I want you to sleep in my room tonight. No funny business, I just miss being in your arms.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Alright, go get changed, I’ll turn the tv off and lock up.” He presses a kiss to my forehead.
That night, I fell asleep in his arms and it felt like I was finally home. I knew that the path we had ahead of us wouldn’t be easy but if we had each other and our daughter I knew that everything would work out the way that it was supposed to. Hyunjin knew that he still had a lot to make up for, but every day he continued to show me how sorry he was and every day I got to see him grow as an amazing person and an even more amazing father. I loved him more than anything, well not more than our daughter but he meant so much to me and I was happy to finally have him back in my life.
Bang Chan | Lee Know | Seo Changbin | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin
Beyond the Lens - Logbook Videographer!Reader x Poly OT8 Ateez
W/C 3,435
🎥 Series Masterlist 🎥
☽ Masterlist ☾
Inspiration Pictures
Pinterest Board Masterlist
Disclaimer: This story is purely a work of fiction. It is not meant to assume or mock anything about Ateez or Atiny. I will be attempting to keep it as gender neutral as possible. If it comes down to it it will lean toward she/her pronouns.
The logo in the center is mine. Please do not reuse or copy.
There are a few characteristics that will be set in stone the following will apply:
Reader’s height ~5’9” which is 69 inches or 175.26 centimeters,
Reader has glasses,
Reader has a gothic/dark academia style,
Reader has lots of tattoos, and
Reader has 3 cats (Maine Coons).
Here is the Inspiration Pictures that I will be using.
Here is the Pinterest Board Masterlist I have for this as well.
Warnings: cussing, possible angst, fluff, and obliviousness.
This list will be updated as the story goes on.
Synopsis: Capturing life’s favorite moments, that’s what you were paid to do. You did not expect things to go the way they have and end up where you have. Follow the reader in one of the biggest opportunities of their life. Being the Logbook videographer for your favorite band Ateez should be great, right?
Author’s notes: I will warn you now, this will not be perfect by any means. I am doing this by myself and looking at things for so long makes you miss things. If you see anything please let me know. The first few chapters will be setting up the story. While I know that we all would love to meet the boys, all good things come to those who wait.
Thank you for reading
<3 Moonie
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
Capturing life’s favorite moments, that’s what you were paid to do. The rush of being able to record some of the moments that make a person happy is one of your favorite things. The freedom of creativity is what drives you. You get to create things that inspire people, make people happy, and things people will be able to cherish for generations. You loved your job and the people that surrounded you in it.
Plugging in your camera you booted up your computer and opened the files you needed to upload your footage to. You were really excited about this project for one of your long term clients. You stepped away once you were satisfied that it was doing what it needed. You need to make your rounds for your team. It was an after outing habit you picked up after they bombarded you, on multiple occasions, checking to make sure you made it back. After letting them know you were back with the footage and that it would be uploaded shortly you headed back to your office. You waved as you passed some of the other people on separate production teams as you walked. On the way back you stopped in the kitchenette to grab some leftovers you had brought in that morning. You turned the corner into your office and noticed your boss standing over your computer staring intently at it.
“Hi, is there something I can help you with sir?” You questioned. The hair on the back of your neck raised when he stepped away from your computer and you could see the blank screen. You knew two things. One, that you plugged in your camera to begin the uploading process; and two, that you had pulled everything up before leaving to go speak to everyone so it would be further along when you got back. With the way the system worked you had to upload it to your computer before uploading it to a backup drive or to the drive that your team shared. You rushed to the computer and glared at the man who had taken a small step away as you rushed past him. You threw your lunch box down on your desk, it almost slid off with the momentum you threw it. You pushed your thick framed black glasses up and took a closer look at your computer.
“I was watching your files upload and did not like the shots. I decided that it would be in the best interest of the client and the company that you start over. It was a waste of our resources and time.” He stated in a matter of fact tone. As he was speaking you looked through all of your files double and triple checking everything. You even checked your camera, it was sitting on its dock but not plugged in. It was all gone, the files empty, and your camera wiped clean. This man decided that it would be the best decision to delete the footage you had worked so hard on, for several days. Just because he wasn’t satisfied with the small clips he had seen. Who the fuck does he think he is? Despite being the boss, which by the way was only one step above you, he barely knew anything about being a videographer and how long it took to even get the amount of footage you had been uploading. You turned around to look at the stone-faced man clenching your fists. He had been after you for small things since day one because you got hired over one of his buddies. You had been more qualified with more years under your belt. They were hiring an experienced person to be the head of a division of videographers and not some rookie who hadn’t even completely decided what he was going to do with his life. This was your last straw.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You asked, seething, your voice raised just slightly. It was just enough to instill a silence over the office. You could feel the stares of your coworkers, you didn’t care, as you stepped up to him getting close enough to see the modicum of fear in his eyes. You had never been prone to anger especially in the workplace but you clenched your fists tighter to keep from socking this man to fuck up his too perfect smug smile. Your team walked over out of each of their offices to see what was going on. All of the people in the office watched in wide eyed silence. They all could see the tells of your anger, how rigid your back was and how you clenched your fists and jaw. They had never seen you furious, so furious in fact that you were calm, it was terrifying. Generally you were one of the people who kept their cool in bad situations. Not this time. They all had known how much of an ass he was, especially to you. They knew he had gone too far this time.
“Do you know how long it took for me to get that footage? The snippets you saw were the ones in the beginning when we were trying to figure out what style the client wanted. You just deleted several days work for something you had no fucking idea about. You don't even know half of what I do to make this damn company run smoothly. I am the head of this division. While you might be just one step above me you never had the fucking right to come near MY computer when you don’t know shit about fuck, what it takes to be in this business, and how it works.” Your voice raised little by little while you poked him in the chest. He was backed up against the edge of your u-shaped desk. Out of the corner of your eye you could see your team stepping into your office, preparing to step in if needed. All of this had added up and you were sick and fucking tired of it.
“I quit.” You declared in a loud tone. The truth was, you had been thinking about it for months, you just didn’t want to leave your people. He had increasingly gotten worse as all of the teams had gotten better under your instruction. Maybe he was worried that you would be taking his spot, who knows. You had been there for 5 years, putting up with his small petty bullshit.
Everyone's eyes widened and some gasped, you were the person who made this place tolerable for all of them. You had become a confidant to your team and the rest of the people working on the other teams. This place had become a close knit family after you arrived, he was the stupid creepy uncle that no one liked. You turned away from the man and started to gather all of your gear, thankfully some of it was still packed, you only took out the basics to start the upload. The only thing that was here when you arrived was the company computer and one monitor, everything else tech and decor related was yours. He stood there shell shocked. He just lost the best worker in this company, and the mentor to all of the people in this office.
“Get out! You’ve done enough fucking damage,” you said with an icy tone. He straightened at the tone of your voice.
“Come on Y/n. Let’s not get hasty, I’m sure there is a way to recover all of the files.” He stated.
You whipped around with your camera in hand. “No. I’ve had enough. You deleted everything, it had not even been uploaded, not to my personal backup drive, not to the team drive. You even picked up MY camera and deleted it from there. You got rid of it on the only two sources it was on. I am done being your victim because I was hired over your rookie friend. It’s been five years, get over yourself.” He looked at you in shock, you smirked, he didn't know that you knew. One of your teammates, Aurora, overheard him speaking to the man you were hired over several weeks after the fact. He was being entirely too nice for it to just be a normal phone call, she investigated and found out the secret. If she didn't have a passion for being a videographer she most definitely would be a great FBI agent, like most women on a mission. After she had her evidence she came straight to you. He had started his minor inconveniences shortly thereafter.
“Yeah I know about that, word travels fast in this office. The only reason I stuck around was because of my colleagues. I can deal with you being a dick. I can even deal with you making me redo things over and over again. Hell, even I think some of them came out better after redoing them so many times after your instructions to do so. But you took it too far this time, deleting my whole project, one for a very big client might I add. Said client being one that I brought to this office from my personal freelancing. And if you paid a lick of god damned attention to the way this office ran, you would know that the majority of the clients that we get in here are people that followed me from when I did this myself. You made your bed now you get to lie in it.” You turned back to your desk and continued packing. He stormed out of the office glaring at everyone who was watching the spectacle unfold. You could hear as your three teammates stalked after him out of your office.
Throwing your head back you let out a large sigh. You knew there were other places that would absolutely love to have you. Your extensive portfolio was something that attracted even some of the biggest companies around. Some of the time you were approached by companies asking for you to come work for them, but you were comfortable with this job. The pay was good, the people were amazing and they had the same passion you did. The only downside was the major dickhead that just walked out of your office. Your computer bag and camera bag were packed and all you had to do was collect some of the small knick knacks that were littered around the office from all of the places you travelled while working. You looked back down, adjusting your glasses and stepped over to one of the shelves. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed three of your favorite people walking back into your office.
“We quit too, you are the person that held this place together. We don’t want to be here when you aren’t here.” Aurora, your right hand said. After being here for a couple weeks you had requested to build your team, she was the first addition. She had become your right hand after kicking some ass in the interview room, in the field, and on the screen. You were very impressed with her natural talent to get some of the best shots you’ve seen. You took in the tall lanky woman, you only briefly saw her earlier. Her rib length dark hair was up in a bun with one of the knife pins you had given her for her birthday last year. She smiled at you, the skin around her blue eyes crinkling just a little.
“Yeah, he’s had this coming for the past several months,” piped in Willow. You and her had met after you stated that you would like to hire someone who was levelheaded and could take criticism after the last person quit. They stated in their exit interview that you were too much to handle. She has been one of the best you have met, even challenging some of your views of things. You looked over to her tall curvy frame, she wasn’t nearly as tall as Aurora but she was up there. Her chocolate shoulder length curly hair was flowing around her head like a halo like it normally did. Her caramel colored eyes held something like excitement in them.
“Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t leave sooner, there are so many better places than this shithole.” You looked at Forrest who was sporting a shit eating grin, his beautiful green eyes sparkling with mirth. He was one of the best in the industry as well, he had a unique way of going about things, and a sense of humor to rival even the best comedians. He was taller than both women by just a fraction. His chin length copper hair was framing his face. He always looked amazing with his wolfcut.
“Forrest!” Aurora scolded as she smacked his arm. “We are still in this shithole and surrounded by people that work in it, be nice.” He shrugged and rubbed his arm smiling teasingly at her. They stuck their tongues out at each other, a common occurrence when they were in the same room. You let out a small chuckle at their antics. They have always argued like siblings.
These three had become some of your closest friends. You spent many hours together outside the office. You couldn’t have asked for a better support group or coworkers.
“Y’know, we could start our own business and bring this one down to the ground! In fact, I have some suggestions for names. Scene Syndicate or Creative Cuts, oooh or even Lens Legends!” Forrest spouted, throwing his hands out from the center like he was picturing the logo right in front of his eyes. Willow rolled her eyes and went to sit in your chair. She had always loved that thing, even once threatening to steal it to trade hers out. You had planned on getting her one for her birthday so she wouldn’t steal yours anymore. It was one of the cross legged ones you could move around and sit in multiple positions on. You were prone to sitting at that desk for hours and that was one of the best solutions you could come up with for your aching bones when you didn’t move. That was another thing that you had to make sure you got before leaving.
“Y'know for once I actually agree with him. That’s actually a good Idea!” Aurora said teasingly, taking a seat on the small couch you had for team meetings or client meetings. He looked at her and pouted flopping down next to her.
“Okay, how about this,” you started. “We all gather our things from our offices, walk out of this bitch like bosses and discuss this somewhere else. I would rather not be here while discussing taking this business down. We can all go to my place and have a celebration of being free from this shithole. Sound good?”
A chorus of cheers echoed from the three spread across your now old office. You had already considered the idea mulling it over the past few months, it might not have been the best way to get started but it was definitely something you looked forward to discussing. This was the start of a new chapter.
★☆☽ Timeskip ☾☆★
It had been six months. Six months of planning, exploring options, and making decisions. The four of you decided to actually open your own studio. It was in a decent sized building not too close but not too far from downtown Seoul. You were finally holding the keys to unlock the building for the first day. You all had put so much work into making it a home away from home. The four of you stood looking at the sign that had just gone up yesterday. Beyond the Lens Studios. After sitting down and discussing names you all narrowed it down to this one. While Forrest’s names Scene Syndicate, Creative Cuts, and Lens Legends, sounded awesome, it did not seem to scream professionalism; which was a necessity for running a business. You liked the names too, maybe they could be a nickname somewhere down the line, but not a business name.
“We did it, it's finally our first day in our own office and not at our shitty home offices! Someone pinch me.” Forrest said with wide eyes at the sign. Aurora reached over you to pinch him hard on the arm. He yelped and started scolding her, reaching out around you to attempt to pinch her. Here we go again you thought, rolling your eyes and laughing. When you looked at Willow she was also laughing. You took a step forward and unlocked the door pulling it open for everyone. The two hooligans rushed past you chasing and swatting at each other like children.
This was the start of something new and refreshing with some of the people you cherished the most. The majority of your original clients followed the four of you and were extremely happy you got away from the other company. You had some work to get done. You were thankful for your office space to be opened instead of your cramped basement with minimal supplies.
You had installed a doorbell system for people to ring for you to let them in. That way you had security in such a busy city and so you knew that they were here. Maybe later you could hire a receptionist.
As you walked in the door after your teammates you took in the large waiting space unsure if you were dreaming. Nope, it was finally real after months of planning. To the right was a large u-shaped couch with a table in the middle. To keep people entertained if they had to wait was a large tv mounted on the wall with the remote in a small holder right next to it. You took a look at the left side of the room where the snack and drink bar sat along the wall right as you came in. You wanted to have an assortment of things that were specifically for the clients. If there wasn't anything specific for them you knew Forrest would get into the snacks and drinks. The door to the viewing room you had insisted on was just past the snack bar. It had a large TV mounted on the wall with a small entertainment center under it to hook up laptops. That entertainment center doubled as a drink and snack bar as well. In the center was a large table that could easily seat 15 people. You thought it would be best to have one so clients could come in and view the products. You looked ahead and slightly to the right at the glass door with your new logo on it. It had come out so well and you insisted on it for all of the doors except for the props storage, regular storage and changing rooms. You walked forward to that door and pushed it open, this was the main hallway. On the right were two changing rooms for any of the clients that needed them and the left was the door to the studio. Straight ahead there were the stairs to the second floor. You followed the noise of the other three up the stairs. To the right of the stairs is where your offices are. To the left it had a full kitchen and a small lounge area. You took a second to look over the balcony to the studio. It was the unique thing about this whole setup. Looking into the studio you smiled at the special ordered white curtains that hung on automatic unrollers. Lights were strung across the walls and right under the balcony. Straight ahead you saw the storage doors. To the right you saw the glass double doors to the enclosed patio and to the left you saw the door to the viewing room. After taking in the rest of the space, you walked to your office. It was just past the large team conference table you stepped around to get to the balcony. There stood your own personal space. You smiled at the added detail on the glass door, under the logo was your name. Forrest was in charge of the doors and logo design, he did so well capturing all of your ideas. You stepped in and smiled wider, the reality finally hitting you. You finally did it, your dreams had finally come true. Your own photography and videography business, owned with your best friends.
Warnings: making out, some suggestive content MDNI
Genre: childhood/best friends to lovers, fluff
Summary: You and Seungmin were best friends since childhood - both heirs to your separate family businesses. Your parents are trying to get you married, and Seungmin for once, is absolutely losing it.
Clueless Masterlist
The problem with being in love with your best friend for over a decade is that, at some point, it becomes something like an illness. And in Seungmin’s case, it was serious. Life threatening even.
Not that he’d ever admit it. Not Kim Seungmin. He would rather perish than confess to being hopelessly (pathetically) irrevocably in love with you.
You, his childhood best friend and the only person who found his savage insults... cute.
Right now, Seungmin was suffering in silence as your parents casually tried to set you up with some budding businessman (budding on his family business most likely). Which, to be fair, was just another day in the life of the elite.
But Jeongin - bless his meddling little soul - clocks Seungmin’s silent meltdown from a mile away. It’s a random Thursday night, and you were over at Seungmin’s place (so was Jeongin), sprawled on his leather couch in a tight little skirt that’s riding up just enough to make Seungmin’s left eye twitch. You were ranting about your mom’s latest matchmaking plot, oblivious to the way Seungmin’s gripping his whiskey glass.
---
Jeongin: 🚨 CODE RED 🚨
Jeongin: SEUNGMIN’S GIRL IS GETTING MARRIED.
Jeongin: HE’S NOT OKAY BUT HE WON’T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE HE’S A PSYCHOPATH.
Jisung: LMAOOOO STOIC KING IS MALFUNCTIONING?? SEND PICS I NEED PROOF
Chan: WHAT?
Changbin: EXCUSE ME??
Hyunjin: Rich people problems.
Hyunjin: Seungminnie, blink twice if you're in distress, babe.
Felix: Oh no, Seungmin!
Minho: Oh, this is delicious. Seungmin’s been eye-fucking her since the dawn of time and now he’s gonna let her waltz off with some crusty businessman? Pathetic.
Felix: Guys be nice, he’s probably crying into his pretentious alcohol rn
Seungmin: I'm literally right here. Shut the fuck up.
Jeongin: BRO. You’re not fooling anyone, you look like you’re gonna hurl.
Jeongin: SHE'S ABOUT TO BE DEALT OFF TO SOMEONE.
Changbin: WE CAN’T LOSE HER TO RANDOM BILLIONAIRE DUDE!
Jisung: SEUNGMIN CONFESS ALREADY OR I’M TELLING HER YOU JERKED OFF TO HER INSTA PICS
Seungmin: I will end you.
Hyunjin: Seungmin, ew
Felix: OMG
Minho: Do it, Jisung. I’ll pay you.
Changbin: I’ll hold him down. CONFESS OR PERISH
Felix: Guys come on
Seungmin: I’m leaving this chat.
Chan: NO YOU’RE NOT. WE’RE STAGING AN INTERVENTION. YOU’RE CONFESSING
Hyunjin: We will literally kidnap her from the altar if we have to.
Seungmin: Oh my God. Stop.
---
Seungmin's head was pounding. His heart was pounding harder. His entire existence was pounding with some kind of helpless rage, watching the love of his life get arranged-marriaged off.
---
Meanwhile, you were sipping on your iced americano, watching him.
“What’s up with you?” you asked, eyeing him. “You’ve been weirder than usual tonight.”
“Nothing,” he muttered, voice tight. “Just tired.”
“Bullshit,” you teased, shifting closer. You’re in his space now, close enough that he can smell your sweet perfume. “You’re hiding something. Spill it, Minnie.”
He clenched his jaw so hard. He’s Kim Seungmin - he’d rather skinny-dip in lava than admit he’s been fantasizing about pinning you down and kissing you senseless.
“I said it’s nothing,” he snapped, but his voice cracked just enough to betray him. His eyes flicked to your lips for a split second before he caught himself and looked away, cursing internally.
You raised an eyebrow, smirking.
“Fine, be a grumpy asshole. I’ll just go flirt with my mystery fiancé then. Maybe he’s hotter than you.” you said with a shrug.
Seungmin’s eye twitched again. He wanted to say something clever but instead, he just scoffed, turning to grab a glass of water he doesn’t even want.
“Do whatever you want.” he dismissed you, and you shrugged again, oblivious to the war raging inside him.
You sauntered out of the living room, hips swaying in a way that was absolutely going to haunt his dreams tonight. The second you were gone, he slammed the glass down, dragging a hand through his hair and muttering, “Fuck.”
Jeongin, who had been eavesdropping like the little gremlin he was (from the study), poked his head in.
“Bro, you’re so screwed. Should I tell the others you chickened out?” he asked, and Seungmin grabbed a cushion and hurled it at him.
“Get out.”
---
Hyunjin: SEUNGMIN YOU EMOTIONALLY REPRESSED GREMLIN, GET UP AND GO CLAIM YOUR WOMAN BEFORE SHE'S DEALT OFF LIKE A STOCK OPTION.
Changbin: Oh Lord
Chan: Guys, focus. We need a plan.
Chan: Preferably something that won't get us arrested, I am getting married in another month.
Hyunjin: Seduction arc.
Minho: We need to elevate the sexual tension.
Jisung: Let's lock them in his penthouse. Followed by the fan favourite - striptease.
Hyunjin: With mood lighting.
Felix: One bed with silk sheets.
Jeongin: I'm here, I can lock them in.
Seungmin: I told you to fuck off, Jeongin! And I’m blocking all of you.
Seungmin was already one minor inconvenience away from a full blown breakdown when you asked him to go for midnight boba the next day. It was kind of your thing - you and Seungmin, sipping bubble tea, making jokes only you two would laugh at - yeah, that was your thing.
Now you were sitting on the hood of his car, under the soft glow of the streetlights, while the cool night breeze played with your hair.
“I swear to God. I’m thinking of running away and joining a cult. I'm terrified of meeting this ‘perfect match’. Mom’s taste in men for me is tragic.”
Seungmin snorted, but it was a strained sound, like he was trying to laugh but also choking on his own soul.
“Sounds like a real catch,” he deadpanned, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Inside, though, his brain was frying. Who the fuck is this guy? His fingers twitched against his thigh, itching to do something. Anything, to save you.
“Seriously, Min, why can’t I just marry you? We’d be perfect. You’re hot. I love the broody vibe. Plus, you’d never bore me to death.” you said all of a sudden, catching him completely off guard.
Seungmin’s heart did a full-on somersault, and for a split second, his mask slipped. Eyes widened, lips parting like he’s about to say something stupid.
But then he caught himself, muttering, “Yeah, right. You’d drive me up the wall in a week.”
“Rude,” You said, shifting slightly, your skirt hiking up just enough to show a sliver of thigh, and the way you’m were sipping your drink - lips wrapped around the straw, eyes half-closed in bliss - was straight-up torture for the poor man.
He leaned against his car next to you, clutching his own boba, trying so hard not to stare. But he was failing. Miserably so.
His eyes keep darting to you. Your lips, your hair, the way your blouse clung to your curves in the moonlight - and his heart hammered so loud he was convinced you could hear it.
Get it together, Seungmin. She’s your best friend. Stop being a creep.
“God, this is so good,” you moaned, sucking down another tapioca pearl with an exaggerated slurp.
He tried to play it cool, nodding like he’s not internally combusting. He took a sip of his own drink, but in his distracted state (too busy watching your lips around that damn straw), he sucked in a cluster of tapioca pearls that shot down his throat. More likely down the wrong pipe, because suddenly he was choking. Full-on hacking like he’s about to cough up a lung.
“Shit! Min, you okay?!” You dropped your drink and started slapping his back, hard enough that he stumbled forward. When that didn’t work, you whacked the top of his head.
“Spit it out, you idiot!” And he did.
He gasped in a breath, eyes watering, face red, and slumped against the car, mortified. No one said anything for a moment.
“I’m..*cough*...fine,” he wheezed, but he looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.
You hovered over him, one hand on his shoulder, the other so close to his face like you wanted to cup his cheek.
“You’re such a dork,” you laughed finally, ruffling his hair.
“Shut up,” he muttered, voice hoarse, shoving your hand away. But his ears were burning, and he was pretty sure his dignity was lying in a puddle among the boba.
---
Seungmin: I just choked to death in front of her. Kill me.
Hyunjin: Choked on your emotions or boba?
Jisung: LMAOOOOOO YOU WHAT??
Changbin: Bro you’re supposed to SEDUCE her not ASPHYXIATE yourself
Minho: Ok, so you are running for the 'most embarrassing' contest I see.
Felix: Oh nooo Min are you okay?? I hope she didn't laugh at you.
Seungmin: Yes she laughed. This is so embarrassing.
Hyunjin: This is not the sexy bad boy vibe you need here. Step it up, loser.
Jeongin: Still no confession.
Chan: Seungmin, did you choke on purpose to avoid confessing?
Seungmin: I hate all of you.
It was Friday morning, and Seungmin was still recovering from the boba incident - both physically and emotionally (his ego was in tatters). He was sprawled on his couch, scrolling through his phone, when it rang.
His mom. Seungmin froze, staring at the screen like it was a live grenade. If there was anyone Seungmin was scared of, it was his mom.
“Hi, Mom,” he said, voice flat, bracing himself.
“Seungmin-ah,” his mother’s calm voice flowed through the speaker, terrifying him further. “Come home this weekend. There’s something important we need to discuss.”
Seungmin’s soul left his body.
“What… kind of important?” he asked, his voice suspiciously higher than usual.
“You’ll find out when you get here,” she replied cryptically.
“Is it… bad?”
“Not at all.”
“Then why do you sound like I’m about to be disowned?”
“Seungmin, just come home. And bring a nice shirt.”
“…Can I get a hint?”
“No.”
The line went dead. No explanation, no elaboration. Seungmin stared at his phone, heart rate spiking. He was lowkey terrified, imagining everything from a surprise wedding to his parents selling him off to some shady business deal.
He tossed his phone onto the couch and dragged a hand down his face, muttering, “What the fuck is she planning?”
---
Seungmin: My mom just called. Wants me home this weekend for “something important.” Won’t say what. I’m stressed.
Jisung: OH SHIT. YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!
Changbin: BRO THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. CONFESS TO Y/N BEFORE YOU GET DRAGGED OFF TO THE ALTAR
Minho: Wow plot twist
Felix: Min don’t panic!! But you have to talk to Y/N. Make a move before it's too late!
Seungmin: She said “bring a nice shirt.” That’s not a family thing. That’s a trap.
Hyunjin: “Nice shirt” = you’re meeting your future in-laws. Or future wife. Or both.
Jeongin: LMAO
Chan: Seungmin, you HAVE to talk to Y/N before this weekend. What if you're engaged by Monday??
Seungmin: I’m not confessing shit.
Jisung: COWARD ALERT.
Minho: I volunteer to tie him up and drag him to her place. Who’s in?
Changbin: ME. I’ll bench press him into submission
Felix: Guys stop he’s having a crisis!
Seungmin: I’m fine.
Jeongin: “I’m fine” says the man who’s about to puke from anxiety
Hyunjin: Imagine Seungmin in a tux, choking on his vows like he choked on boba
Jisung: 🤣🤣
Seungmin: I hate you all.
Chan: CONFESS OR WE’RE CALLING YOUR MOM AND TELLING HER YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH Y/N
Minho: Do it. Do it. DO IT.
---
Seungmin muted the chat again, his pulse racing with pure, unfiltered anxiety. Was he about to be forcefully married off to some chaebol heiress?
Seungmin pulled into the driveway of his parents’ sprawling estate on Saturday morning, dressed impeccably, ready for battle. Or at least whatever cryptic nonsense his mom was about to throw at him. The second he stepped through the door, though, he knew he was screwed.
His mom was waiting in the foyer, arms crossed, that smug look plastered across her face (the one she got when she had already won and he didn’t even know the game).
It was terrifying, as her eyes flicked over his outfit, and she nodded approvingly.
“Good to see you, son,” she said, lips twitching. “Nice shirt.”
“Thanks,” he replied, voice flat. “So what’s this ‘important’ thing? Can you just tell me now?”
She tilted her head, smirking wider. “You’ll see. Be patient.”
“Mom,” he pressed, leaning against the wall with forced nonchalance, “just give me a hint. I’m not in the mood for surprises.”
“Oh, you’ll love this one, darling,” she said, her tone dripping with glee.
Then she turned on her heel and walked off, leaving him standing there, palms clammy and heart racing. He dragged a hand through his hair, and sighed.
The day dragged on with more of the same. His dad was no help either, just chuckling into his coffee. Seungmin’s stoic mask was slipping; he was pacing the living room, imagining every worst-case scenario.
Then, his mom dropped the bomb out of nowhere. She caught him in the kitchen as he was grabbing a glass of water and said, “You’ve got a lunch meeting in an hour. It’s someone important, and I want you to make a good impression. The car's waiting.”
His blood ran cold. “A meeting? With who?”
“You’ll see,” she replied, patting his cheek like he’s five years old. “Now, get going. And smile, Seungmin. You look like you’re going to a funeral.”
---
Seungmin: I AM IN HELL.
Hyunjin: SHE DID THE ‘SMUG MOM’ FACE, DIDN’T SHE?
Seungmin: She’s setting me up. Lunch with “someone important.”
Jisung: HOLY SHIT IT’S HAPPENING!! ARRANGED MARRIAGE ARC UNLOCKED
Changbin: BRO
Hyunjin: I bet it's Y/N, and his mom's been planning this since they were fetuses
Felix: Omg omg omgggg!! I really hope that's it!
Seungmin: I’m gonna throw up.
Changbin: This is worse than Squid Games.
Hyunjin: LMAO
Jeongin: Told you this weekend was gonna be wild. You should’ve confessed yesterday, dumbass
Chan: Seungmin if it IS Y/N you HAVE to say something tonight. This is your shot
Seungmin: I can’t confess if I’m dead from anxiety first
Jisung: I can't wait for your wedding bro, it's gonna be an anxiety fest
Minho: I’ll officiate. “Do you take this choking hazard to be your husband?”
Changbin: CONFESS OR WE’RE CRASHING THE DINNER WITH A BULLHORN
Felix: It'll be ok, Min! Just be yourself ok?
Felix: Ok, maybe not. But you know what I mean
Seungmin: Oh my God.
---
He tossed his phone onto the bed, pacing again. His hands were trembling, his throat was dry, and he kept adjusting his shirt like it was strangling him. He was terrified because he knew this wasn't random.
His mom was too calculated, too pleased with herself. But what if he was wrong? What if it wasn't not you? He’d rather die than sit through that.
---
Meanwhile, on your side of the world:
You stood in front of the mirror, curling your hair with unnecessary aggression. Your parents had refused to tell you who this “perfect match” was.
“Someone you already know,” your mom had said. “Someone who will fit perfectly with our family.”
“What is this, Bridgerton?” you’d groaned.
But here you were, putting on a sexy black dress, and mentally preparing to reject another soulless rich heir.
---
You: I’M GOING TO THROW UP.
Jennie: Who even is this guy??
Maddie: I'll be there. If he pulls some weird shit, I’m dragging you out.
You: What if he’s mean? Or boring. Or
Jennie: The question is, what if he’s hot?
You: What
Maddie: Babes, the actual real question is, what if he’s Seungmin?
You: Shut up.
---
Jeongin: RADIO SILENCE FROM Y/N’S SIDE.
Jeongin: I tried texting her and calling her, but nothing
Seungmin: I AM LITERALLY HAVING A PANIC ATTACK.
Hyunjin: Seungmin, listen to me. If it's her, I want you to go and kiss the fuck out of her. Like don't think.
Jisung: SEUNGMIN, listen to Hyunjin for once.
Felix: No but imagine walking into the restaurant and seeing her waiting for you?
Changbin: I would actually scream.
Minho: This has some scope.
Chan: Seungmin, just confess.
Seungmin: I wanna die
---
Ten minutes later:
Seungmin: I’m in the car.
Jeongin: WE’RE FOLLOWING YOU IN A SEPARATE UBER.
Seungmin: STOP.
Hyunjin: WE’RE HIDING IN THE BUSHES OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT.
Jisung: I’M GOING TO LIVESTREAM THIS.
Meanwhile, you were already at the restaurant, sipping on a glass of wine, nervously tapping your heel against the floor.
“Your guest is arriving, Miss,” the waiter said politely, and you turned toward the entrance.
You nearly dropped your glass when Kim Seungmin, your best friend, your emotional support human, your secret crush for YEARS, walked through the door in a white suit, holding a bouquet of white tulips, looking equally shocked.
Your heart stopped.
---
From the bushes:
Jeongin: OH MY GOD.
Jeongin: IT’S HER.
Minho: IS HE GOING TO PASS OUT?
Hyunjin: GET YOUR SH*T TOGETHER SEUNGMIN! I THINK WE NEED AN AMBULANCE
Jisung: OMG IT'S LITERALLY HER.
Felix: KISS HER ON THE MOUTH.
Changbin: I'm calling the ambulance just in case, because I don't think he's breathing.
---
Seungmin froze in place. You stared at him, eyes widening, and he stared back, his mouth opening and closing like a fish.
Your lips parted. “Seungmin...?”
His voice cracked. “Y/N.”
---
Seungmin was genuinely questioning reality at this point. Was this... real? Were you actually here, in front of him, looking unfairly beautiful in that very dress that always drove him insane - staring at him with those eyes that had been haunting his dreams since you both were sixteen?
(He was absolutely clueless about the fact that Jeongin, Hyunjin and Jisung were huddled behind a decorative plant, shoving each other to get a better view through the window. He didn't think for a minute that they were actually serious.)
---
Jeongin: OH MY GOD THEY’RE JUST STARING AT EACH OTHER.
Hyunjin: SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING.
Jisung: I'M LITERALLY ABOUT TO THROW A BRICK THROUGH THE WINDOW.
Chan: Jisung, we don't wanna get arrested, mate.
Felix: NO ONE MOVE.
Minho: This is so stressful.
---
He barely had time to brace himself before you slammed into him, arms wrapping around his neck, hugging him so tight you were half-convinced you'd fuse into one person.
Seungmin, for once in his life, didn’t hesitate. He dropped the bouquet as his arms snaked around you, pulling you flush against him. The restaurant faded away and it’s just you two, chest-to-chest, hearts hammering in sync.
---
Jeongin: SHE’S HUGGING HIM. SHE LITERALLY FLEW INTO HIS ARMS.
Changbin: Oh God
Jisung: I'M ACTUALLY CRYING. OUR PUPPY.
Hyunjin: HE’S HUGGING HER BACK. FULL BODY CONTACT. CHEST TO CHEST.
Felix: I'm so happy 😭
Minho: Huh
---
Seungmin buried his face in your hair, and said, “I’m so fucking in love with you.”
You pulled back just enough to look at him, eyes wide, lips twitching into a grin.
“So you finally admit it?”
He huffed a laugh, but it’s shaky, raw, like he’s spilling his soul and doesn’t know how to stop.
“I’ve wanted to for the past ten years. Couldn’t figure out how to say it.” His grip tightened on your waist, eyes dark. “Better late than never, right?”
You didn’t even dignify that with a response. You just grabbed his face, thumbs brushing those stupidly sharp cheekbones before kissed him like the world’s ending.
---
Hyunjin: OH MY GOD.
Hyunjin: THEY’RE KISSING.
Jisung: OH FUCK. NOISES.
Felix: OH MY MINNIE 😭😭😭😭
Changbin: Congratulations bro
Minho: I'm actually so proud of him.
Chan: Stop watching them like creeps and get back here.
Chan: JISUNG DON'T TAKE A PICTURE YOU ASS!
---
It’s messy and chaotic - all teeth and tongue and pent-up tension exploding in one glorious, unhinged moment. His hands slid down to your hips, pulling you impossibly closer, and he groaned into your mouth. You were practically climbing him at this point, and he’s matching your energy, kissing you back like he’s starving.
The kiss broke with a gasp, both of you panting, foreheads pressed together. You smirked, breathless.
“I never wanna stop. I wanna do this forever!” You mumbled against his lips.
Seungmin made a sound that sounded so much like a growl. And dived back in, nipping at your bottom lip just to hear you squeak. It’s sloppy, ridiculous, and so stupidly hot. And you both hold on to each other like nothing else mattered in the world.
Jeongin: SEUNGMIN FINALLY WON
Hyunjin: I always knew he would win
Felix: THE SHIP HAS SAILED.
Changbin: So that's all of us.
Minho: But also, are they just gonna keep making out in front of everyone?
Jisung: Bro, let him cook.
Chan: We should probably leave coz the security is looking at you guys now.
Trigger Warnings: Cussing, hospitalization, weightlifting injury, appearance of San and Wooyoung from Ateez (Not really a trigger warning), groveling, sickening fluff from Changbin,
Word Count: 7.1k
Summary: You and Changbin had been best friends but realized that there was something more between you. Years down the road you are now his fiancé and you want to treat him and the boys to a homemade meal, but Changbin is having an off day and he gets upset with you. He takes his anger and stress out on you, when you get upset you try to work out to feel better but end up injuring yourself. Changbin tries to make it up to you at first but you don't let him, it takes you over a month before you even think about forgiving him. In the end do you forgive him or will that be the end of your relationship?
Screenshots: 1
Photos aren't mine except for the screenshot, credit goes to the photographers
Bang Chan | Lee Know | Hwang Hyunjin | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin
When I had first met Changbin, I never thought that he and I would be anything more than friends. We had met as kids, quickly becoming best friends, stuck to each other like glue. When he left to train as a trainee I was heartbroken but I knew that it was something that he always wanted and it was something that I would without a doubt support him in. The day he left, I was going to tell him how I felt but I knew that I couldn’t put him in that position. I couldn’t drop that on him right as he had to go and deal with something that would
be extremely stressful. So I waited, standing on the sidelines as his best friend, watching as he became closer with the other members of Stray Kids, as he dated when the dating ban was dropped and I didn’t let him see that each time he was with someone new it broke me. But it all hit a turning point when I had dealt with an abusive relationship and turned to him for help. I couldn’t keep my feelings to myself anymore and had finally told him how I felt. I didn’t know if he would feel the same or not but I couldn’t keep it to myself, I needed him to at least know. To my surprise he felt the same and that was why all of his relationships never ended up working out. That was three years ago and just over a year ago Changbin had asked me to marry him. I knew that I would do anything and everything to make sure that Changbin had everything that he could ever want in life and I knew that he would do the same for me.
Present:
With Changbin and I’s wedding coming up soon, both he and I were thankful that he had a break from tour for a few months before their second leg. I was thankful that for right now I didn’t have to continue to plan the wedding on my own, yes I did have the help of a wedding planner but it still wasn’t the same without Changbin there with me. I knew that he hated being away from me while I was doing this but he didn’t have a choice. We tried our best with the time differences and called when he could so that he could feel included in the planning. When they go to South America and North America, I plan to go with them since my job allows me to work remotely and for the most part the rest of the wedding planning can be done over the phone.
When I had told Changbin that I would be able to go with him, the look of pure excitement on his face was priceless. He had always said that whenever I was able to travel with him that it eased his stress levels and so the fact that I would be with him for close to three months while he was touring would be extremely helpful for his stress. I knew that even before I told Binnie that I needed to clear it with their managers and Chan, and thankfully as long as I stayed out of the way for the most part they were completely fine with me coming along. They even asked if I could take some behind the scene photos for them when possible since my job was a photographer.
Recently, while the guys had been getting ready to leave for the next leg of the tour Changbin had been more antsy and more short tempered. I tried to not hold it against him but sometimes it was hard, especially when all I wanted was his comfort but he just wanted to be left alone. I knew he was stressed, so I tried to pull back more and rely on him less for the comfort that I used to seek from him, just so that I wouldn’t stress him out more. I didn’t tell him that I was stressed about traveling with him now that news of our engagement was out. His fans had been somewhat supportive when they found out that we were dating but when they found out that we were going to get married their support switched and they began to send hate, claiming that I wasn’t enough for him and that I would never be enough for him. I knew that I wasn’t as talented as him, and that my career wasn’t as important as his but I tried my best to be what he needed and I wished that his fans could see that. Not that I would ever tell him this, but sometimes I wonder if marrying him is the right choice, sometimes I wonder if I should let him find someone that his fans would like better, someone that is better suited for him than I am.
Chan knows about the hate that I get and says that I should tell Changbin but I can’t find it in myself to add more stress into his life right now. I know at some point I need to tell him but right now is not that time. One thing that helps me feel closer to Binnie is working out with him, for me it’s not about staying in shape or gaining muscle, it’s about spending that quality time with him. But the last few times that Binnie and I have gone to work out, things have felt different. He has seemed to want to go off and do his own thing, not wanting to spend the time to make sure that my form is correct and that I won’t hurt myself. I try to not let it get to me but I am also scared that if I use the wrong form I’ll end up hurting myself and I’ve tried to tell Changbin about this but he tells me that I have nothing to worry about because even though he isn’t right next to me he is still keeping an eye on me. It should make me feel relieved but it doesn’t, I want it to go back to the way it used to be, where he would help me work out and then when my short work out was finished I would sit and watch him work out. Now it’s almost like we aren’t even actually working out together, we just show up to the gym together and leave together, otherwise everything else is done separately.
It had been a few days since Changbin and I had gone to the gym and I had barely seen him in passing due to them having a comeback coming up. I knew that they were busy but I also knew that he always made time for the gym. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask him if I could join him at the gym tomorrow, when he gets home tonight since I knew he would be there tomorrow anyways.
Later that Night:
I tried to stay up until Binnie got home but I ended up falling asleep on the couch before he got home. When I heard the front door close, I noticed that it was close to 2 in the morning. I knew that he said it would be late but I didn’t realize that it would be this late when he got home. I quickly jumped up, ready to greet him, excited to see him even if it was just for a little while but when I came face to face with him, the look on his face told me all that I needed to know. Whatever they were recording at the studio today must not have gone well because he looked tired and angry and when he saw that I was still awake his usual bright and happy demeanor was nowhere to be seen.
“What are you still doing up?” He asked, clearly annoyed that I was awake.
“I wanted to wait for you, I feel like I’ve barely seen you the last few days. I know you’ve been busy preparing for the upcoming comeback.”
“Yeah, I have been busy. I can’t be at your every beck and call.”
“I don’t expect you to be Binnie, I just wanted to stay up to spend a little time with you tonight while you got ready for bed.”
“Well just go to bed, I still have more work that I need to get done.”
“But it’s already so late. Shouldn’t you get some sleep?”
“Y/n. Stop. I don’t need you to worry about me, you are not my mother. I can worry about myself, and if you can’t back the fuck off then I will stay at the dorms until this comeback is over.”
“I’m sorry.” I take a sharp inhale, not expecting him to get this angry at me, I know that I can’t ask now if he wants to go to the gym tomorrow.
I don’t give any other response other than I’m sorry, I slowly head up to our room. Trying my best to keep my breathing even and the tears at bay until I’m in our room but it doesn’t work very well and I have to pause in the hallway to catch my breath to prevent myself from breaking out into sobs. As soon as I get myself back under control I rush into our usually shared bedroom and climb into the cold bed, knowing that he more than likely won’t be coming to bed tonight, working on the comeback until he has to go back into the studio with Chan and Han. I try to take slow breaths but slowly they come out as sobs and soon I am crying myself to sleep, wondering if things will ever go back to normal.
The next Morning:
I want today to be a better day, maybe yesterday was just an off day for Binnie and he didn’t mean what he said. I know him and the rest of the guys have busy schedules but it wouldn’t hurt for me to bring in lunch for them and see Binnie for a little while. I quickly prepared everything for all of the boys before heading to the JYP building, excited to see Binnie and the rest of the guys. Thankfully the front desk ladies knew who I was and quickly let me in, wishing me a good day. It's nice to have such friendly people here.
When I get up to the floor where the boys are, I can hear them practicing hard for their main track. When I peek into the practice room I can see that they are all dancing hard and seem to have been dancing for the better part of the morning. It would be good for all of them to take a break and eat a decent meal. Felix is the first person to notice me looking into the room, he doesn’t say anything but his smile breaks out and soon the rest of the guys notice as well. When Changbin noticed me, I thought that maybe he would also be excited to see me but he barely looked my way.
“Y/nnie, what are you doing here?” Felix asks excitedly as soon as the song ends.
“I brought you all some lunch, I figured you all might enjoy a home cooked meal.”
“That’s so sweet of you.” Han calls across the room, taking a break from drinking his water.
“I wanted to do something for you all, I know how hard all of you are working for this comeback.”
“Y/n, it’s very sweet that you brought food. But are you planning on staying long, we have more work to do.” Changbin asks, sounding almost annoyed.
“I was going to stay to eat with you all, but if there’s too much that you all have to do. I can leave you to eat.”
“That would be better, and next time please text before you decide to just drop by.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that I was causing trouble.”
“Y/n, of course you aren’t causing any trouble. Bin, she can stay to eat, we can take a long enough break to eat and chat with her.” Channie butt’s in, trying to make the awkward conversation less awkward.
“No, no Channie, it’s ok.”
I don’t wait for a response from any of them, deciding that it would be better to save myself the embarrassment and just leave. It’s obvious that Changbin is still in his mood from last night and I don’t want to make it worse. I was so in my own head that I didn’t hear Changbin follow me out of the dance studio, it wasn’t until he grabbed my arm that I noticed he was there.
“Why did you come here without asking if it was ok first?”
“Binnie, I really didn’t think that it would be an issue. It wasn’t an issue in the past.”
“Well it’s an issue now.”
“Look, Binnie. I’m sorry that I showed up here without confirming first with you, that it was ok. I didn’t mean to upset you, that wasn’t my intention at all. Maybe after a gym session together, things will feel better, yea?”
“Jesus y/n. First you waited for me last night, then you showed up at my job unannounced, and now you want to encroach on my gym time. Why can you not get the hint that I want my gym time back, there is a reason that I go off and do my own thing now. I understand that you told me you were clingy when we first started dating, and I know I said I liked that but Jesus this isn’t clingy, this is borderline obsessive.”
“I’m sorry Binnie, I’ll give you back your gym time. I didn’t realize that you didn’t want me there with you anymore.”
“You are so clingy y/n that I don’t even know if I want this marriage with you anymore. I cannot handle this right now, until the comeback is finished and out, I’m staying at the dorm.”
Before I can even respond to him, he’s turned away from me and walking back into the practice room. I don’t know how long I stood there in shock before slowly making my way back to our shared apartment. I knew that they still had a few months left of preparing for the comeback, which meant that if Changbin was serious, he would be staying at the dorms for the next few months. In a fog I decided that I wanted to be helpful for him, and pack a few of the clothes that I thought he might want, saving him the trouble of having to do so himself.
When I finished packing those things for him, I texted Chan to let him know that the few bags were ready to be picked up whenever. I couldn’t stay in that apartment, the heartbreak of Changbin calling me clingy and telling me that he didn’t know whether or not he still wanted to marry me was eating me alive. I decided to do the one thing that allowed me to feel close to him, even when he wasn’t near.
I threw on my gym clothes and slowly made my way to the gym, it still felt like I was in a fog. The main thing that I worked on in the gym was my arms and my legs. Today I knew that I would get the most relief from my upper body, so I began to set up my weights to begin my upper body workout. I had my headphones in and wasn’t paying attention to who was around me, I wasn’t paying good attention to what weights I was grabbing. If I had paid attention I would have seen that the weights that I grabbed were too heavy for my ability. I grab the weights and begin to try and do presses, it’s a little harder than I remember but I ignore it and continue to press through. I get about halfway through my second set when I begin to really feel the burn of it. I know that I should stop and go down to a lower weight but I don’t want to think about anything and if I stop doing that I know that I will think about Changbin. If I stopped to change the weights, I’d see that a concerned San and Wooyoung, two of Changbins friends, were watching me struggle with the weight. I begin to press up again when I feel a sickening crack in my left bicep, I lose all control over my arm and drop the weight, an excruciating pain overtakes my body and I collapse.
San and Wooyoung rush over when they notice that I collapsed, I try to tell them that I’m fine and that they can go back to their workout but neither of them listen. San quickly clears the weights from around me while Wooyoung tries his best to make sure that I’m ok.
“Jesus y/n are you ok?” Wooyoung asks, trying his best to check me over and see what’s wrong.
“Why doesn’t he want me anymore?” I practically sob.
“What are you talking about y/n, who doesn’t want you?” San asks as he kneels next to Wooyoung.
“Changbin.”
“What are you on about? Of course he wants you, he loves you.” Wooyoung tries to comfort me.
“I really don’t think that he does anymore. Not based on what he said today and how he acted today.”
“Let's get you to the hospital, the pain is making you say untrue things. I know Changbin and he loves you.” San responds.
Before I can respond to either of them I pass out from the pain. The next time that I woke up, San was sitting next to me while the nurse was checking my vitals. By the looks of it, it was somewhat late because the sun had set. I didn’t know where Wooyoung went, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to face the fact that my relationship with Changbin was over. He no longer wanted to be with me, and I don’t think any amount of convincing will change his mind.
“I’m glad to see that you are awake.” San said as soon as he noticed that I was awake.
“What happened?”
“You passed out from the pain, you lifted too much weight and ended up breaking your arm. We tried to call Changbin but he didn’t answer so I stayed here with you while Wooyoung went to go get him and tell him what happened.”
“You shouldn’t have done that. He’s preparing for a comeback, he doesn’t want to be disturbed. That’s the whole reason he’s staying at the dorms instead of at home with me.”
“He’s been staying at the dorms?”
“He said he’s going to. This morning, or at least I think that it was this morning. What day is it?”
“It’s the same day.”
“He told me this afternoon, when I dropped lunch off for them that I should have called and asked if it was ok. And I should have known that the gym was his time, and when he stopped helping me, that I should have realized that I wasn’t wanted there during his gym sessions anymore.”
“I don’t think he meant it y/n.”
“San, he said that he didn’t know if he wanted to marry me anymore.”
“Whoa.”
Wooyoung’s POV:
With San staying with y/n until she woke up, I knew that I had to rush to the JYP building to find Changbin to get him to the hospital. We tried to text and call him but he didn’t respond to either and I did try to call one of the other guys but they also didn’t answer. I was almost to their building when San texted me, letting me know that Changbin might not be too happy to be bothered right now, and he also told me about what he said to y/n. I know that I don’t know her very well, but she’s always been super sweet and super caring and has done absolutely nothing to warrant his harsh words.
Thankfully the front desk ladies let me in without much effort, just a quick hello and telling them that I was there to see Changbin and they were more than happy to let me through. I really wasn’t happy with what he had said to y/n, if you love your partner, you don’t say something like that to them. The first member that I saw of Stray Kids was Felix and Seungmin, both boys were surprised to see me.
“Wooyoung? What are you doing here?” Felix was the first to recover from the shock of seeing me in their building.
“I’m looking for Changbin, do you know where he is?”
“Umm, last I saw him he was in the recording studio with Han and Chan.” Seungmin answered.
“Perfect, would you mind showing me where that is?”
“Oh, uh yeah sure. Why are you looking for him though?” Felix asked, as we began to walk towards the recording studio.
“It’s about y/n.”
“Is she ok?” Seungmin asked, from what I knew he was pretty close to her.
“She had an accident and is at the hospital. Don’t worry, I didn’t leave her there alone. San is with her.”
“What happened?” Both boys ask simultaneously.
“She tried to lift too heavy of a weight and ended up breaking her arm.”
“What!?” Both boys seemed mortified.
“She’s ok, they did have to bring her into surgery to repair the break but she was out of surgery and stable when I left.”
“Let's get you up to changbin. He’ll be worried about her, and the fact that he wasn’t there when he finds out about what happened.”
I don’t want them to think badly of their Hyung so I don’t mention the fact that he told her that he doesn’t want to go to the gym with her anymore and that he doesn’t know if he wants to marry her anymore. My whole goal here is to get Changbin to the hospital, not turn his members against him. But if he doesn’t get his shit together and realize that his words will actually push her away, he might actually lose her for good. I want them to both be happy, but I don’t want y/n to suffer because Changbin is being an idiot.
When we get to the studio that the three boys are working in, I can hear them laughing and I can clearly tell that they are completely unaware of what happened to y/n. Honestly that pisses me off because while she’s in the hospital thinking that Changbin doesn’t want her, he’s over here laughing and having a jolly good time with his friends.
“Thank you boys, I’ve got it from here.”
“Are you sure?” Felix asks, seemingly unsure.
“Yea, don’t worry.” with that I turn away from the two younger boys and enter the recording studio without knocking.
“Wooyoung? What are you doing here?” Chan asks when he notices me standing by the door.
“I’m here for Changbin.”
“Why are you here for me?”
“Because, apparently you lack the ability to pay attention to your phone.”
“We’ve been working so I haven’t been looking at it. Why is something wrong?”
“Yeah, it’s y/n.”
“Jesus, she dragged you into this whole thing now too?”
“She didn’t do anything. She couldn’t.”
“She couldn’t?”
“You don’t even realize what you are doing, do you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Chan, Han, you might want to stand between us because he is pissing me off.”
“What is going on, Wooyoung. Wooyoung can you please explain?” Chan asks as he steps in between Changbin and I.
“Y/n, believes that Changbin doesn’t want her anymore. Believes that he doesn’t want to marry her anymore.”
“What, why on earth would she think that? Binnie absolutely adores her.”
“Why don’t you tell them what you told her Changbin.” I almost sneer at him, trying to contain my anger.
“What is he talking about?” Han asks.
“I-I.”
“Go on, tell them. If you don’t, I will.”
“I got upset with her, when she came to drop off lunch for us.”
“Got upset, how exactly?” Chan asks, trying to get more information.
“I said some things that I shouldn’t have.”
“No. You need to clarify exactly what you said to her.”
“I-I called her clingy.” He looks down at the ground ashamed.
“What else?”
“I told her that she was borderline obsessive, and that she kept encroaching on my gym time. And even after she tried to apologize, I told her that I wasn’t sure if I still wanted to marry her.”
“Jesus Christ Changbin, what the fuck.” Han looks at him mortified.
“Why the hell would you say that to her?” Chan asks, looking completely disappointed in him.
“That’s not all, I told her that until the comeback was done and out, I would be staying at the dorms.”
“That explains why I got a text from her telling me that you had a few bags that could be picked up.” Chan responded.
“You don’t deserve her Changbin, but I'm telling you this anyways. She was extremely distraught after what you said to her and decided to go to the gym by herself, where she proceeded to lift weights that were too heavy and she didn’t listen to her body. The weight snapped the bone in her arm, Changbin.”
“What?”
“She’s in the hospital because she broke her arm.”
“No. She knows to listen to her body's limits, she would know to not push it.”
“No Changbin, she wouldn’t. Not when she’s distraught and heartbroken. Searching for any form of relief from the pain that you caused.”
“I-I didn’t mean to.”
“Well you did. So you need to choose. Either you come to the hospital and try and salvage what’s left of your relationship or stay here. But I am going back to the hospital.” WIth that I turn to leave the room, I don’t wait to see whether or not he joins me.
Your POV:
San does his best to try and distract me from the fact that Changbin isn’t here. Part of me thought that maybe, just maybe he would be here after he heard about what happened but I knew that it was just wishful thinking. I wanted to tell San to go home but I knew that he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t want to leave me alone, when all I want right now is to be alone. I don’t know how long it’s been that San and I have been sitting in silence when we hear a knock on the door. San gets up to see who it was, I can hear whoever was at the door and San having a quiet conversation. San looks back at me, then back to the door before closing it quietly and walking over to the bed.
“Y/n, Wooyoung just told me that Changbin is here out in the hallway. He wants to see you.”
“He’s here? Why is he here?”
“Apparently Wooyoung somehow convinced him to come here.”
“That still doesn’t explain why he is here.”
“He wants to talk to you.”
“I-I don’t know.”
“Y/n, you don’t have to talk to him.”
“I owe it to him to end things officially with me, I can’t just assume that he’s ending things.”
“You don’t know that he’s ending things.”
“He doesn’t want to marry me anymore.”
San doesn’t know how to respond so instead he just turns to go and get Changbin. I try my best to prepare myself for what’s about to happen but I know that I will never be ready to no longer wake up to Changbin. To his goofy personality, to his random singing, so his warm hugs and late night cuddles.
“Y/n, thank god you’re ok.” Changbin said as soon as he saw me.
“Why are you here?”
“I came as soon as I heard about what happened. Why wouldn’t I be here, you’re my fiancé.”
“Am I? Because after this afternoon, you made it pretty obvious where I stand with you.”
“No, no. I was wrong and I didn’t mean it.”
“No Changbin, you did mean it. You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it.”
“I was stressed and I took that stress out on you. I swear that I didn’t mean it y/n, of course I still want to marry you.”
“Changbin, I don’t know. What you said really hurt.”
“I swear that I didn’t mean it.”
“Changbin, I can’t do this right now. I need time.”
“I can give you time, just please, I beg of you don’t end things. Let me prove to you that I’m sorry, whenever you are ready, let me prove to you that I am sorry.”
“I don’t know yet, Changbin.”
Three Weeks Later:
For the last three weeks Changbin has been giving me the space that I’ve asked for, but I could still feel his presence. He would leave things for me at my front door, food and supplies that he thought that I might want or need. I wanted to tell him to stop but at the same time I really appreciated it, but I definitely wouldn’t tell him that. I didn’t want to give him any hint that I might forgive him, because he still hadn’t earned my forgiveness.
San and Wooyoung made it an everyday thing to come over and check on me, see if I needed anything or wanted anything. They also made sure to keep Changbin from bothering me too much, not anymore than he already was. I did really appreciate them coming over and helping me because it was super hard for me to cook, normally Changbin was the one who did the cooking and I washed the dishes but without him here I was left to try and cook for myself. It wasn’t easy to cook with only one arm, I knew that I should try and ask for more help but I also didn’t want to be a burden to more people. I decided to bite the bullet and ask someone I knew would jump at the first chance to help me right now.
The Next Day:
The next day in the middle of the afternoon I heard a knock on my door. I was hesitant to open it because I knew that it was Changbin and this would be the first time that I saw him since I was in the hospital. When I opened the door, he had multiple bags full of supplies to cook for me. He was trying his best to hide his smile when he saw me but he wasn’t doing a very good job at it, even though I didn’t want it to it made my own heart flutter.
“Y/n, how are you feeling? How’s your arm feeling?” Changbin asks, as I let him in.
“I’m feeling ok, my arm aches sometimes but it’s feeling ok most of the time.”
“Are you taking anything for the pain?”
“There isn’t much that I can take for the pain actually, but I do take some Tylenol to try and ease the pain a little.”
“Does it help?”
“A little, but the doctors said that it would ache for a while.”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. This never should have happened.”
“There’s nothing that can be done about it now Changbin. All I can do now is deal with it.”
“Still, I should have just been honest with you but instead I was an ass and I was petty and it resulted in you getting injured.”
“Changbin, there were a lot of things that should have been done differently. But this wasn’t your fault, it was mine because I shouldn’t have gone to work out when I was upset. If I had waited, I would have known to listen to my body and knew that the weight was too much for me.”
“No! I should have never gotten mad at you for wanting to eat with us and I should want to work out with you because I always want to spend time with you. Being stressed from work is no excuse to treat you the way that I did, you never deserved that. And I will forever be sorry for that.”
“No, I should have known better to ask before just showing up and I should have known that the gym was your ‘you’ time.”
“You can come to the studio whenever you want y/n, come to the gym with me, spend time with me. Please, I beg you to cling to me. These last three weeks have felt like hell for me, I never want to go through this again. I hate that I treated you the way that I did, I love you more than anything and I can’t believe that I treated you that way.”
“Changbin, I-”
“No, I am so sorry.” Before I can even respond he’s hugging me. I don’t know what to say to him, so I just do my best to lightly hug him back.
Two weeks later:
I tried my best to continue to stay mad at Changbin but he continued to show me how sorry he was. No matter how much he continued to show that he was sorry, part of me was scared to let him back in because what if it happened again, what if he went back to how he was before? I don’t want to be treated that way again, but late at night part of me missed him so much. I missed how he would hold me close to him, I missed how he would laugh at my dumb jokes and make me feel like the most special girl in the world. I love him more than anything, but I’m scared that he’s only acting like this so that I’ll forgive him. Even though I’m scared, I want to trust him, I want to trust that he’s sincere and isn’t doing this just so that I’ll forgive him. I’m so in my head that I don’t hear the knocking on the door until there’s almost pounding, when I open the door, I see a panicked Changbin.
“Are you ok? You weren’t answering the door.”
“I’m ok, I’ve just been out of it today.”
“Is something wrong, do you want to talk about it?”
“I guess I’m just scared.”
“Scared about what?”
“That this is all fake, that it’ll all change if I do forgive you.”
“Oh y/n. I know that I wasn’t the partner that I should have been in the past, but I can promise you, if you do end up forgiving me I will do everything in my power to show you everyday how sorry I am and how much I love you. I regret it everyday how I treated you, I should have cherished you more, should have loved you more.”
“I- I don’t know what to say Changbin.”
“You don’t need to say anything. I love you and I didn’t show you that properly.”
“I’m scared. I’m so scared Changbin.”
“I know baby, I know. But I promise, I will never, ever treat you that way again.”
“Changbin.”
“Jagi, I promise on my life that I will never treat you like this again. I don’t want to lose you, I almost lost you from my stupidity.” He pulls me into him, holding me tightly but making sure to watch out for my arm.
“This is the only other chance that I will give you Changbin, don’t fuck up again.”
“I swear on everything that I love, I will not fuck up again. I cannot live without you, it felt like life wasn’t worth living when I wasn’t with you.” He leans in to kiss me.
I know that things won’t be perfect between us, not for a long while but I know that slowly things will get better as long as we both work at it. We both made mistakes that caused us to have issues, not one person was solely at fault for this, we both were at fault. But we love each other enough to know that we want to make it work.
That night, as we both lay in bed I know that we are on the right track to our path of happiness. Changbin has his arm wrapped around me while my head is resting on his chest, making sure to not bother my arm. We talked about our days and what we wanted to do tomorrow since we both had the day off, a rare occurrence for Changbin. It felt nice to finally be back in his arms after over a month of barely seeing him and not getting to be in his arms.
Epilogue:
It’s been three months since I forgave Changbin, and he has made an effort everyday to show me that he is sorry and will never treat me that way again. Changbin let me know that he would be at the studio today and would be there for most of the day. I wanted to surprise him and the boys with a homemade lunch since I knew they all had a bad habit of forgetting to eat. Except for Changbin, that man loved to eat and would probably rather die before forgetting to eat.
I was scared to show up at the JYP building because the last time that I did, things didn’t go smoothly and I didn’t see Changbin for a month. I took a deep breath and packed up the meal that I prepared for the boys and myself, excited to see them and my fiancé. I wanted to let Changbin know that I would be coming but he had let me know that they wouldn’t be on his phone at all, so there was no point in letting him know.
When I showed up to the building, the front desk ladies immediately let me in and thankfully helped me with the elevator since my arms were full. I was thankful that I had my cast removed the month before, otherwise I would have really struggled with bringing them food. When I finally got up to the practice room, I could hear the boys practicing to one of their new songs, one that I hadn’t heard before. When I knocked on the door, it took a few seconds before I heard the music pause and then the door finally opened and I saw Chan standing there looking slightly confused. He opened the door wider for me, letting me in and when Changbin saw me, he rushed over taking the food out of my arms.
“Jagi, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to bring you all lunch, I thought you’d want homemade food.”
“You made us lunch?” Minho asks, finally coming over.
“I did, I had the day off. So I cooked, and I wanted to see Binnie.”
“Aww Jagi, did you miss me?” Changbin teases me.
“Of course I did.”
“Ew. Gross.” Hyunjin jokes.
“Oh grow up Hyune.” I tease him right back, Binnie watches me interact with all of the boys, with loving eyes.
“Jagi, let’s eat. I’m sure you’re hungry, I know that I am.” Binnie leads me over to the food.
“I am hungry, let’s eat before it gets even more cold.”
The boys soon are digging into the food, before I can sit down on the couch Binnie is pulling me down onto his lap. I let out a squeak of surprise, not expecting him to do that. I don’t fight him on it, knowing that he will throw a small fit if I try to get up and sit next to him, and the rest of the boys don’t seem all that bothered by the fact of it. My earlier hesitation about coming is gone, replaced by an overwhelming feeling of love from both Changbin and the boys. I know that everything will be ok. I know that everything between Changbin and I will be ok, I know that he will never treat me the way that he did again. I have him and the boys, life will be happy and good, with the support of everyone. When lunch was over, I knew that the boys had to get back to work so I prepared to leave. I was prepared to walk out by myself but to my surprise Changbin was ready to walk me out.
“Don’t you need to get back to practice?”
“What kind of fiacné would I be if I didn’t walk you out?”
“I’ll be ok baby, you need to get back to practice.”
“Nonsense.”
“Baby, I’m walking you out whether or not you want me to.”
“Fine, I’m not taking the blame if you get in trouble though.”
“I love you Jagi, I told you that this time will be different.”
“I love you too baby.”
I love Changbin, I didn’t want him to get in trouble for walking me out of the building but it seemed like he was going to do it no matter what. He was right, things were different already, different than they were previously. There was a good difference and I was happy with the way that things had changed, both of us seemed happier than we were before, it seemed like this would be a happier marriage when the day finally came. We truly loved each other and would do whatever it took to make each other happy.
Taglist:
@vietjeb, @riri53
Bang Chan | Lee Know | Hwang Hyunjin | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin
summary: when han hears about the little love triangle that his daughter is involved in- let's just say he needs a drink
pairing: han jisung x fem!reader
genre: fluff, humor, married with kids
word count: 815 words
Masterlist
Han's POV to this situation
~°~
It was supposed to be a peaceful family brunch—well, as peaceful as it could get with the entire SKZ family gathered under one roof. The members and their wives had gathered at Chan’s house, the long dining table filled with food, laughter echoing around the room as kids ran in and out. It was a rare chance for everyone to be together, catching up on life.
Jisung, blissfully unaware of what was about to hit him, was happily stuffing his face with grilled meat when Hyunjin casually leaned over.
Minho snickered. “Mingi and Rowoon got into a fight over her last week.”
Jisung’s fork clattered onto his plate. “EXCUSE ME?”
The entire table turned to look at him as he gaped at Minho and Hyunjin, completely horrified.
Hyunjin chuckled. “They were fighting over who she liked more. We had to sit through the most ridiculous parent-teacher meeting of our lives.”
Jisung’s face drained of color. "No. No. NO. Shut up. You’re joking."
Hyunjin shook his head, enjoying this way too much. "Nope. And Minsoo? She told them she liked both, which made them fight harder."
Jisung gripped the table like he was about to pass out. “MY BABY IS A HEARTBREAKER?!”
Seungmin snorted. “I mean, are we surprised? She’s literally your kid.”
Jisung ignored him, whirling around to you. “DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?!”
You bit your lip, struggling to suppress your laughter. "Well... I was going to tell you. But I figured you'd react like this."
"LIKE WHAT?! LIKE A FATHER WHO JUST FOUND OUT HIS EIGHT-YEAR-OLD IS A FREAKING PLAYER?!" Jisung’s eyes widened in exaggerated disbelief, his voice rising with each word.
You simply shrugged, feigning innocence. "Like father, like daughter."
Jisung gasped dramatically, clutching his chest as if you'd just mortally wounded him. "Excuse me?! I was loyal to you from the moment I met you!"
You scoffed. "As if you don’t flirt with Minho oppa every single day."
A snicker came from the other side of the table. Minho’s wife smirked, shaking her head. "Oh, that bromance is forever."
Minho grinned at his wife, completely unbothered, and popped a grape into her mouth. "And you're just jealous," he teased.
Felix patted Jisung’s back, barely containing his own laughter. “I mean, look on the bright side. She’s popular.”
Jisung gasped dramatically. “I DON’T WANT HER TO BE POPULAR! I WANT HER TO BE A LONER UNTIL SHE’S THIRTY-FIVE!”
Jeongin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, good luck with that, hyung.”
Just then, the kids ran past the table, laughing and playing. Minsoo trailed behind, momentarily stopping beside her dad.
Jisung immediately turned to her, looking betrayed. "Minsoo!"
She blinked up at him, confused. "Yes, Daddy?"
Jisung placed his hands on her tiny shoulders, looking deep into her innocent little eyes. "No boys."
Minsoo tilted her head. "But… I like Mingi and Rowoon."
Jisung let out a choked sound. "NOOOO!"
Hyunjin, Minho, and the rest of the table lost it, howling with laughter.
You sighed, patting Jisung’s back. "Breathe, babe."
"BREATHE?! MY DAUGHTER IS ALREADY PLAYING THE FIELD!"
Across the table, Chan chuckled, shaking his head. "Hate to break it to you, but this is just the beginning, man."
Jisung groaned, collapsing into his chair. "Do I have to sit her down and explain dating etiquette at eight years old?!"
You rolled your eyes. "Jisung, relax. She’s eight. It’s cute!"
Jisung shook his head furiously. "No. No dating. No looking at boys. No breathing near boys. Nothing. Minsoo is officially banned from romance until she’s like thirty-five."
Jisung groaned dramatically. "I need a son. Someone to protect her."
You laughed. "You have a son, yeobo."
As if on cue, Jihoon, your six-year-old, stomped up to the table with his hands on his hips. "Mommy! Daddy! Jisoo got a ring from Juwon!"
Jisung’s soul left his body.
"MY SON?!" Changbin gasped.
Felix clapped his hands. "Wait. Jisoo got a ring?!"
Jisoo, Minsoo’s twin, appeared beside Jihoon, proudly showing off a tiny paper ring on her finger. "Juwon gave it to me today!"
Jisung’s eye twitched.
Hyunjin grinned. "Jisung needs to lay down, right?"
Changbin snorted, watching the meltdown unfold.
Jisung clutched his chest. "TWO DAUGHTERS? BOTH IN LOVE SCANDALS? IN ONE SINGLE DAY?!"
Jihoon nodded seriously. "I tried to stop them, Daddy. But Jisoo said she liked Juwon’s muscles."
"HIS WHAT?!"
Jisoo beamed. "He has big arms, Daddy! Like Uncle Changbin!"
Changbin choked on his drink as his wife doubled over with laughter.
Jisung let out a dramatic groan and dropped his head onto the table. "I’M GONNA DIE."
You took a slow sip of your drink, already bracing yourself. Oh, it’s going to be a long weekend of Jisung fussing.
Trigger Warnings: Angst, fighting, mentions of drug abuse (not by skz or you), forced entry, injury, hospital, inaccurate police and medical talk, cursing
Word Count: 9.2k
Screenshots: 10
Summary: You and Lee Know had been friends for a few years, he had entrusted you to be his cat sitter. Knowing that you would take good care of his cats, over time you had gained feelings for him. You thought that maybe he might feel the same for you but at the same time you weren’t sure because he was always hot and cold towards you. One night when your neighbor attacks you, you text Minho for help but he calls you clingy and tells you to leave him alone. When he comes back from tour and tries to act all friendly, and doesn’t remember, you get upset with him, will you end up forgiving him?
Photo's not mine (Except for message screenshots) credit goes to photographers
Bang Chan | Seo Changbin | Hwang Hyunjn | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin |
I had known Lee Minho for a few years now, I considered him one of my closest friends but I knew that in his mind I was just his cat sitter. Part of me always harbored a secret crush on the quiet man but I knew that he would never see me the same way, I mean why would he? He was an idol, he could get whoever he wanted and I was just me, the girl who would watch his cats for him. Sometimes we would hang out outside of me watching his babies, but most of the time that’s all I ever did. He would sometimes invite me over to a movie night with him and the boys, or a dinner that they were doing. He’d always check in on me after I watched the cats, while I watched them and sometimes even when I hadn’t watched them in a while. Sometimes because of this I’d think that maybe just maybe he felt the same but then he’d go day’s, weeks and even months without speaking to me and it would solidify the fact that he didn’t feel the same way about me. I wish that he did, but I knew that it was wishful thinking and that it was better to try and move on from my crush on him, save myself the heart ache.
Present:
I knew that it was hopeless to hold out the hope that he would one day feel the same for me, but that was the logical side of me. The emotional side of me wanted to keep holding out that hope. I was currently sitting for Minho, I knew that he and Han were going to be back soon from their Hong Kong shows and I knew that they would be tired and want to rest. I tried to stay here as close to when they get home, not entirely because I don’t want to leave the cats home alone but because I don’t want to go home. The neighborhood that I live in is a really bad neighborhood and my neighbor makes it even worse, constantly begging me for money whenever he sees me and if he hears me come home he will bang on my door until I either call the police on him or I give in and give him what little money I have. Unfortunately Han does know about where I live because of the one time he had to take me home after a late night hangout session when my vehicle had been broken. He’s tried to convince me to leave but I can’t move because I can’t afford anywhere else.
I’m curled up on the couch with all three of the cats laid out in various places around me. I had meant to set my alarm so that I was gone before they got home but in my tired haze I had fallen asleep before I even had the chance. The only reason I even woke up was because I heard Minho grumbling about some reporters at the airport not respecting their space and almost knocking over one of the members. I jolted up, scaring the cats and the boys as they weren’t expecting me to still be at the dorms.
“Y/nnie? Why are you still here?” Minho asks, setting his bag down by the door. I can see Hans head pop in from the side.
“I accidentally fell asleep before setting an alarm. I didn’t mean to stay until you two came back.”
“What time did you fall asleep y/nnie?” Han asks, finally coming into the living room.
“Uh, what time is it now?”
“It’s a little after 3:30.” Minho responds.
“I fell asleep around 10 then.”
“Why were you here so late?” Minho asks, almost suspicious of me.
“I felt bad leaving the babies alone.” I try to come up with a believable excuse.
“They would have been fine.” Minho responds, almost seeming to get annoyed.
“I know, but still. I like being around them and my apartment gets so lonely, and you two were getting back late so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to hang out with them a little later. I just hadn’t meant to fall asleep.”
“It’s ok y/nnie. Minho Hyung is just tired and forgetting to mention that he’s thankful that you didn’t want the kitties to be lonely, right Minho Hyung?”
“Right.”
“Right, it’s late or well early. I’ll get out of your guy's hair so that you can get some sleep.”
“You’re going to drive home at three in the morning?” Han asks me, concerned.
“I mean yea, it won’t be that bad of a drive with there being no traffic.”
“Why don’t you just stay here until morning and then in the morning we can go get breakfast and then you can go home?” Han asks, trying to get me to stay. I know he’s trying to get me to stay so that I don’t have to deal with my neighbor.
“Han, just let her go home if she wants to go home.” Minho cuts in.
“Hannie, I’ll be ok. Promise and if I need anything I promise I will text you. I’ve done this drive countless times.”
“Fine, but if you need anything and I mean anything please do not hesitate to reach out to me ok?”
“Ok Hannie, I won't hesitate.”
I grab my bag from staying over and head to the door, Minho doesn’t even say bye to me, but Han walks me down to my car wanting to make sure that I get in ok and it starts. I know that he worries and I feel bad for worrying him, but I can’t stay there with Minho, not when I feel the way I do about him and knowing that he doesn’t feel the same way about me. Han knows that I have feelings for Minho, he keeps telling me that I should confess to Minho. He claims that Minho feels the same way about me but with the way that he treats me in person, I don’t know how to believe him. Minho over the phone is a completely different person to Minho in person, when I am texting Minho he’s super sweet and caring but when I try to talk to him in person he’s super cold and distant, barely showing any interest in me.
At Home:
To try and prevent my neighbor from realizing that I’m home I turn my lights off a few houses away and when I park I take a few minutes to get everything set so that I can run from my car to my door. I hold my keys in my hand so that as soon as I’m at my front door I can unlock my door, I have my pepper spray in the other hand and my bag over my shoulder. I take a deep breath and get out of my car, shutting my door as quietly as I can, before I take off running to my apartment. I barely make it inside and lock my door before I hear my neighbor come outside. I can tell that he’s not sober tonight and I’m thankful for the fact that I made it inside before he noticed I was home. He came up the stairs to my door, yelling loudly about how he wanted money and that I should give it to him. I tried my best to ignore him but he kept getting louder and soon began to bang on my door. I knew that if I didn’t do something soon either one of the other neighbors would call the police or he would end up breaking my door.
I didn’t have the energy to deal with him breaking my door so I yelled out that I was calling the police, at this point the police were on speed dial on my phone. I knew that they should have been able to do more than give him a warning but they claimed that because he hadn’t actually broken in there wasn’t anything that they could do. Thankfully with them showing up he would lay low for a few days but it never lasted and it would be back to the same thing in a few days. After all the commotion ended I finally remembered to text Han and let him know that I made it home
I’m nervous about how the movie night will go but I’m also too tired to even begin to think about that tonight. I have a week to think about how it might go, and I’m sure that everything will be just fine because it’s not like it’s going to be just the three of us. It’ll be all of the boys there, so there will be multiple people acting as a buffer between Minho and I. I drift off to sleep before I can think too much more about it.
Movie Night:
My day had already been hellishly long, my boss was an ass and basically using me as his personal punching bag. He had assigned me tasks that were outside of my field, so I had no idea how to do them and when I tried to explain that to him I was reprimanded and told that I was talking back to him. And then when I had to quickly look up the tasks that he wanted me to do, I was reprimanded again for ‘slacking off’ during office hours. And to make matters worse, when I was unable to complete the tasks in the time frame that he wanted, he got angry and basically claimed that I had purposely taken too long to do the tasks because I was trying to fight with him again and was then written up. I tried to bring the issues up to HR but they didn’t do anything about it, basically telling me to suck it up.
I was thankful that I would get to relax with the guys and enjoy the movie night. I knew that they had already started but Han had said to just come in. He had also mentioned that he had gotten my favorite snacks and had convinced Minho to cook my favorite dinner, leaving a plate of it in the fridge for me. Sometimes I wish that I saw Han the way that I saw Minho, but I only saw Han as a brother and that’s all I would ever see him as and he would only ever see me as a sister.
When I walked into Han and Minho’s dorm, I could hear the boys laughing about something happening in the movie, it was nice to see them finally getting time to relax. I quickly took off my work shoes and slipped on the slippers that Minho had gotten for me when I cat sit. Before I can move further into the dorm I’m greeted by Soonie and Dori, I eagerly lean down and pet them. Happy to see them after such a long day, I want to see Doongie but I’m sure that he’s either with Minho or is hiding somewhere with all the commotion around the dorm. When I stand up I find Minho standing in front of me, I give him a small smile but he doesn’t return it. I swallow nervously, Minho can look very intimidating when he wants to and right now he looks really intimidating.
“What are you doing here?” Minho questions me.
“Han invited me, he um said it was ok with you and the rest of the guys.”
“Well I’m not ok with it. This was supposed to be a guys night, not a guys night plus you.”
“I’m sorry. I had specifically told Han to ask you before inviting me.”
“Just go home y/n.” I’ve heard Minho angry, and his tone is getting close to that. I inhale sharply, not expecting his tone.
“I’m really sorry Minho. I’m really tired and it’s a long drive home for me, Han said that I could crash in his room tonight. So I will just go in there instead of joining for movie night, ok?”
“It’s what, a 30 minute drive? Just go home, I don’t want you here and no one else except for Han wants you here.” His words hit me like a slap to the face, I take a step back as if he had just done that.
“Look Minho, I am sorry for intruding on your guys night, I truly didn’t mean to. I will stay out of your hair, but I have had a long day and really do not have the energy to drive home tonight. It’ll be as if I’m not even here, ok?.” I say, trying to fight back tears at his cruel words.
“Whatever.” He says before angrily turning back towards the living room.
I wait until I am calm enough that I know I won’t break into tears before walking towards Han’s room. Just as I’m about to pass Han he grabs my wrist, giving me a questioning look but all I can do is shake my head at him. I don’t want to explain to him what just happened, so I lightly tug my wrist free from his hand and continue to his bedroom. I don’t have to look behind me to know that he’s following me, I know he can see that I’m upset and he won’t leave me alone until he knows why.
“Y/nnie, you look like you're about ready to burst into tears. What’s wrong?”
“It’s just been a long day, my boss is an ass and then there’s Minho.”
“What did Minho do?”
“Oh you know, just being his usual self.”
“I don’t know what you mean by that y/n.”
“Hannie, he told me that no one wants me here except for maybe you.” I say while giving up on fighting the tears
“He said that?”
“Yes, he said that tonight was guys night. Not guys night plus me.”
“I’m sorry y/n. When I asked him on Saturday he said that he was fine with you joining us.”
“Hannie, I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep dealing with his whiplash emotions, I can’t handle it anymore.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m done Hannie. I give up, I’m giving up on the one person that I really think that I’ve loved.”
“Y/nnie, I am begging you. Do not give up just yet, give it just a little more time.”
“Hannie, I want to believe you when you say that he feels the same but after tonight, I just don’t know how to anymore.”
“Don’t give up just yet, ok?”
“I don’t know. Not anymore.”
“Don’t think about it tonight, just get some sleep. I’ll be out in the living room if you need anything.” I don’t argue with Han and let myself fall into his bed, he wraps the blankets around me like a cacoon. Pretty soon after I am out like a light and the world is dead to me.
Han’s POV:
I march out of my bedroom and into the living room, when I spot Minho I march over to him. I grab him by the ear and drag him into the kitchen. I can see and hear the other members call after us in question but I’m too focused on Minho and knocking some sense into him before he loses the one girl he’s ever wanted. As I drag him, I can hear him cry out in pain but at this point I can’t find it in myself to care, he deserves a little pain after what he’s doing to y/n.
“Ow. Han, what are you doing? Will you let go of my ear?”
“What am I doing? What are you doing?”
“What do you mean? You’re the one dragging me by my ear.”
“You’re the one who is about to lose y/n if you don’t get your shit together.”
“What do you mean I’m going to lose y/n?”
“If you keep up this cold and distant act, you are going to lose her.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because, she is under the impression that you have no feelings for her and that any hope of a relationship with you is false hope.”
“What? She doesn’t think that.”
“Yes, she does. You are losing her and unless you change how you act, you will lose her for good.”
“I don’t want to lose her.”
“Then stop being an idiot and get your shit together.”
“Right. I need to apologize, I said something pretty shitty to her tonight.”
“Yeah, you did. Why in the actual fuck would you say that to her? Of course the others would want to see her.”
“I don’t know why I said that to her, I wasn’t thinking. I panicked when I saw her.”
“Well, apologize to her tomorrow. She’s already asleep.”
Your POV:
The Next Morning:
When I woke up, it was hard to open my eyes. I tried my best to not cry myself to sleep but I knew that it was hopeless and ended up allowing myself to succumb to the tears, and now my eyes were swollen from it. I was nervous to leave Han’s room, I knew the guys had the day off so that meant that I would have to see Minho before leaving. I changed into my extra clothes before working up the courage to leave Han’s room, when I exited his room I was hit with the smell of sweet pancakes and bacon. When I walked past the kitchen, I saw that Minho was moving swiftly, cooking the pancakes and bacon for the other members. My stomach growled with hunger but I knew that if I tried to stay, it would just anger him more. So I ducked my head and headed to the front entryway to put my shoes on, wanting to leave before Minho noticed so that he didn’t have another chance to yell at me.
“You're leaving already? You haven’t eaten yet?” The voice behind me causes me to freeze, I slowly turn to find Minho standing behind me.
“I promised I would leave in the morning.”
“You don’t have to leave before you get to eat, though.”
“I don’t want to give you another reason to be upset with me Minho.”
“Y/n, I want to apologize for how I acted last night. It was unfair of me to treat you that way, you did nothing to deserve that.”
“Then why did you treat me that way?”
“I don’t know, truthfully.”
“That’s not an excuse Minho, what you said was really cruel.”
“I know, I know it was. I am really sorry, I don’t know why I said that and I wish that I did know why.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say Minho.”
“I don’t expect you to say anything, just please stay for breakfast. At least eat before you go. You don’t have to talk to me, just at least eat please.”
“I’m only eating because it smells good, and I’m hungry.”
“That’s ok.”
I quickly eat and as I go to leave Minho apologizes once again, I don’t quite forgive him but I let him know that if he can get his act together and actually treat me with the respect and kindness that I deserve I might be able to forgive him.
Over the next few months, leading up to the American leg of their tour he worked hard in proving to me that he is sorry for what he said and that he never meant it. He makes sure to invite me to every movie night, he brings by lunch for me when he has breaks at the company. He still doesn’t know where I live and I really hope to keep it that way because I honestly don’t want to worry yet another person. Han already worries enough about me, I don’t need to add Minho to that list.
The day before Minho and Han had to leave for their tour I was going to go over to spend time with them, since they would be gone from May all the way until August. They wouldn’t be in the States the entire time, I knew that they were excited for the tour. They were always excited to see Stay but I also knew that they weren’t excited to be away from home for this long, but with how few days they had in between concerts, it didn’t make sense for them to come home. As I was getting ready to head over to their apartment my neighbor must have heard me because he was waiting outside my door for me, when I noticed him I try to step back into my apartment but he follows me.
“Come on y/n, you’ve been avoiding me. I want my money.”
“It’s not your money, Will. You just steal it from me.”
“Doesn’t matter, I still want money. I know you have it, so give it to me.”
“I don’t have anything to give you. Please leave, or I’m going to call the police.”
“You think that they’ll do anything? All they’ll do is give me a warning, just like they always do.”
“Will, you need to leave. This is my apartment, you do not have permission to be here.”
“That doesn’t matter. Give me money, and I will leave.”
“Get out.”
“No, give me money first.”
I try to get past him, to where my phone is, but he blocks my path. Grabbing my arm harshly, pulling me away from where my phone was, I knew that I needed to get away from him before things escalated even more. I against my better judgement break my arm free from his grasp, I ignore the snap that I hear and rush for my phone. I make it barely and when I turn around Will is right behind me, he smacks my phone out of my hand. I drop to the floor with my phone, swiping my leg against his, trying to knock him down. Thankfully it works and he goes down, I jump up as quickly as I can and run out of my apartment, I make it to my car and get inside just as he’s coming out of my apartment. I don’t wait and book it out of the parking lot, calling the police as well as heading to the hospital, knowing that I more than likely broke my arm in the process of escaping. I called Han and let him know that I won’t be there tonight, that something came up and I will explain it all in the morning, and that before they leave I might need some help with some things while I stay at their place.
While I’m at the hospital, the police come and explain that they were able to find my neighbor and thanks to the security cameras my landlord had installed after the last incident they were able to arrest him, and he would be going away at least for a few months. I would also be able to get a restraining order against him now that he had actually broken into my home and caused me bodily harm, he had broken my wrist and fractured my arm. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go back to my apartment tonight since it was still considered an active crime scene, so with some hesitation I pulled out my phone and texted Minho. Hoping that he would be willing to help me, even though I knew he was stressed while getting ready for tour.
I’m in shock by Minho’s response that I don’t even know how to respond to him. I know that sometimes he can have a short temper but I never expected him to call me clingy. He never even gave me the chance to explain to him why I needed to stay with him and Han. If I could, I would stay at my apartment but I literally don’t have a choice. I don’t know what else to do, I can feel the burning sensation of tears beginning to form, I don’t want to cry but everything is becoming too much for me. Before I know it, I’m sobbing quietly to myself in the hospital room. When the nurse comes to check on me, she asks if I’m in pain, I’m not. Just distraught and slightly heartbroken about being called clingy by the person I’m in love with. She asks me if there is anyone that she can call to come and pick me up. I know that I can’t call Han, because it would upset Minho more so I decided to have her call Chan. I know he might be upset about being bothered but at least he might be willing to help me.
Chan’s POV:
I had just finished helping Innie pack when I heard my phone ringing out in the living room. I wasn’t expecting a call from anyone so I was going to ignore it but something in my gut told me not to ignore it. When I looked at the number, it was a number that wasn’t saved in my phone, hesitantly I answered it.
“Hello? Who is this?” I asked whoever was calling.
“Hi, this is one of the nurses calling from SNUH. Is this Bang Chan?”
“This is he, who are you calling about?”
“I have a miss L/n Y/n here. She requested that I call you to come pick her up.”
“Is she ok?”
“She’s ok, she had an incident with her neighbor and had to be brought in. Unfortunately that is all the information that I’m allowed to give.”
“Alright, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thank you for calling me.”
I was shocked that y/n had the hospital call me rather than Han or Minho, two of the members that she was closest to. But I wasn’t going to question it, because there must have been a reason that she had them contact me. I rushed over to Innie’s room, letting him know that I was heading out to pick her up.
“Hey, Innie. I have to go pick up y/n.”
“Pick her up?”
“Yeah, I just got a call from the hospital. Apparently she got into a fight or something with her neighbor and had to be brought in.”
“Can I come with you?”
“Yeah, just hurry up and get your shoes on.”
Y/n’s POV:
The nurse came back in to let me know that she had gotten a hold of Chan and that he was on his way to come pick me up. I was thankful that I knew I could at least rely on him to be there for me if I needed him. I must have fallen asleep while waiting because when I woke up, Innie was sitting next to me while Chan was out in the hallway filling out my discharge paperwork. When I.N noticed that I was awake he immediately started to accidentally bombarding me with questions about what happened and why I was in the hospital.
“Slow down Innie. One question at a time please.”
“Sorry Noona.”
“It’s ok, what’s your first question?”
“What happened?”
“My neighbor got angry that I wouldn’t give him money and attacked me.”
“Why did your neighbor want money from you?”
“He’s a drug addict. He wanted money from me for drugs.”
“Has he asked you for drug money before?”
“Yes, he has.”
“Has he been harassing you for a long time?”
“Since I moved in.”
“But you’ve been living there for like two years, Noona.”
“I know.”
“Why did you never say anything? We would have done something to help.”
“I didn’t want you guys doing something and then getting in trouble.”
“Do you really think we care more about our image than you?” I hear Channie ask from the doorway, he must have been listening into the conversation.
“I know you don’t, that’s why I didn’t say anything. I would have moved but I couldn’t afford to.”
“If you had told any of us, we would have helped pay for a new place for you.” Innie added in
“Han knew.”
“He didn’t offer to pay for a place?” Innie asked.
“He did, but I didn’t want to take advantage of you guys. You all already do so much for me. I couldn’t ask you guys to do something like that for me.”
“We would have, we would have willingly.” Chan added in.
“I know you would have.”
“Let us help you find a new place when we get back from tour. Please?” Chan and I.N ask.
“You two aren’t going to take no for an answer are you?”
“Nope, not after finding out what you have been dealing with for so long.” I.N answers.
“Fine.
“Yay!” Innie seems to practically glow with excitement.
“How long do you have to keep your cast on?” Channie asks
“I get it off in July but I will be in a brace until about mid August.”
“Ok, just be careful. Ok?”
“Ok.”
We soon leave the hospital and they take me to their dorm. I go to get myself situated on the couch but before I can Chan is picking me up and taking me into his room. I let out a squeal of shock before trying to convince him to set me down.
“Chan put me down, what are you doing?”
“What makes you think that you will be sleeping on the couch?”
“There’s nowhere else to sleep?”
“I’m sleeping with I.N tonight. You’ll take my bed.”
“Channie, I can’t do that.”
“You can and will.”
“I can’t kick you out of your own bed.”
“You aren’t kicking me out if I’m willingly giving it to you.”
“I’m too tired to argue so fine.”
“Thank you for not arguing, now get some sleep.”
It’s not long after my head hits the pillow that I’m out like a light. I didn’t know if the boys would wake me up in the morning or not because I knew that they had an early flight. I wanted to say bye to them but I also wanted to be able to sleep more. The struggle was real, do I choose to sleep more or do I get up with them and say bye. I decided that when I hear them get up and begin to move around I would get up as well and say bye to them, because I would still have to go over to Minho and Han’s dorm. When the boys got into the car to head to the airport I sent them off with a hug and a wave, promising to keep them updated on my arm.
When I finally made it to Han and Minho’s dorm, I was tired and ready to crash again. But I knew that there were still a few things that I needed to do before I could do that. I also knew that it would be a little harder to take care of the cats with a broken arm but I knew that I would be able to manage. After getting everything done for the day, it gave me time to think about what Minho had said to me. I had genuinely thought that there was a friendship between the two of us but obviously I was wrong. I saw him as a friend, as someone who could possibly be more but he only saw me as a cat sitter. The more I think about what he said, the more I begin to overthink our entire friendship and if it was ever truly a friendship. What if all the times that I thought he was my friend, he was just pretending so that he didn’t lose his cheap cat sitter. Before I know it, tears are streaming down my face, sobs racking my chest and I can barely breathe. I can feel myself begin to spiral into a panic, but before I can panic fully I feel a soft head butt against my hands. I see that Dori is trying to get my attention, so I lean back against the couch and allow him to crawl onto me, allowing him to distract me from my spiralling panic. I allow the distraction to calm me down.
Over the next few months of their tour, the boys checked up on me. Han checked up on me the most, Chan and Innie the next most. But Minho never texted me and I never texted him, if he told me that I was too clingy and that I was just the cat sitter then that was all I was going to be to him. If he didn’t want my friendship then I wasn’t going to force it and I wasn’t going to let myself get sad over the fact that he didn’t want me in the same way that I wanted him. I knew that Chan had at least told Han what had happened because he had asked about my arm and the pain, and when I said that it was achy, a heating pad arrived at the dorm the next day. If I said that I needed anything he always made sure to get it delivered for me. I knew that I could rely on Han for anything that I might need while watching the cats, and I was thankful for that.
Last Day of Tour:
It was finally the last day of their tour and I knew that the boys were anxious to get home, they had been gone for almost four months and I knew that traveling had worn them out. Like usual they would be home late again, so I would stay as close to when they got home and then go home. I knew that it would be a long drive but I was fine with that, I knew that I didn’t have to worry about my neighbor anymore but it was still lonely at my apartment. I had made sure to sleep earlier in the day so that I wouldn’t sleep through my alarm and I would be able to leave before they got home.
I was getting ready to leave when I heard the front door open. They were home sooner than they had said that they were going to be, I had already brought my things down to my car so all I needed to grab was my coat and I would be all set to go. Han wasn’t that surprised to see me still here but I could tell that Minho was when he saw me. When Han saw me, he rushed to give me a hug, making sure to avoid my still injured arm. Minho stood off to the side, watching the whole exchange happen, when he saw the brace on my arm I could see the shock and question in his eyes but I chose to ignore it and him.
“Y/nnie, it’s so good to see you.” Han said with excitement but also tiredness.
“It’s good to see you too Hannie, we’ll have to catch up when you aren’t tired.”
“We definitely will.”
“I’m going to head home, let you get some sleep.”
“Drive safe ok?”
“I will.”
Minho looks like he wants to say something but I’m out the door before he even has the chance to. It hurts to ignore him but he ignored me all of his tour, and before his tour he made it very clear as to where I stand with him. By the time I get home, I’m exhausted and am asleep before I can even text Han that I made it home. By the time I wake up in the morning I wake up to a barrage of text messages from both Han and Minho.
I don’t know how to respond to Minho, so I don’t. He wants me to forgive him but how can I after he said that to me, after I thought that he was my friend and he called me clingy. I decided not to dwell on it and get ready to meet up with Han. I knew that I would be able to talk to him about it, and he would be able to tell me what I should try to do. I knew that I could rely on him for help, he always knew what to say and what to do. When I finally saw him, he had a table saved for us and food already ordered. It was crazy that he always knew what I wanted to eat, even when I didn’t.
“How are you doing y/nnie?”
“I’ve been better.”
“What’s been going on?” He tilts his head to the side, in question.
“Minho.”
“What about him?”
“Before you all left for tour, he said some pretty hurtful things to me.”
“What did he say to you?”
“The night of my accident, I had initially texted him for help but he told me that he was busy and that I should just stay at my apartment.”
“That’s not that bad.”
“It gets worse.”
“Oh no.”
“He called me clingy and said that all I was, was a cat sitter to him.”
“He did not.”
“He did.”
“That doesn’t sound like him though.”
“I have the texts to prove it, Hannie.”
“I believe you.”
“And then he had the audacity to pretend that he doesn’t remember doing that, after having not texted me all of tour.”
“He didn’t text you the entire time we were on tour?”
“Nope, not once. Not even to check in on the cats.”
“That’s crazy because there were times where he told the group that he was texting you when he was on his phone.”
“Well he was lying. Before his message today, the last message I have from him is him calling me clingy.”
“Jeez y/n I’m so sorry.”
“I just don’t know what to do because he wants me to forgive him.”
“You don’t want to, do you?”
“Not really, no. He hasn’t done anything to earn my forgiveness.”
“Then tell him that he needs to prove that he’s sorry and that he has to earn your forgiveness.”
“Do you think that I should forgive him?”
“If I was in your place. I think that I would eventually, but not right away.”
“So you think that I should eventually, just not right away?”
“Yes.”
“Ok.”
“But, ultimately in the end that decision is up to you.”
“I know that I shouldn’t but I still love him.”
“Then make him work for your forgiveness.”
“Thank you for being able to help me, Hannie.”
“Of course y/nnie.”
We talked for a few more hours, catching up and what we each missed in each other's lives while he was away on tour and just life in general. I knew that I would have let Minho know that he would have to work for my forgiveness, but it would take more than just a few words over a text message. Soon, Han and I parted ways, promising to meet up again soon.
Over the next few weeks Minho worked hard in trying to show that he was sorry, he would text me every day asking me how I am, if I needed anything. When I was moved into a new apartment he was the first one to offer up money to pay and the first one to offer help in moving my things. Anytime the guys were having a hang out night, he made sure to invite me, and if I didn’t feel like driving he would come and get me. I could tell that he was trying but I was still hesitant, because what if he switched it up on me again? What if he changed his attitude towards me again? I didn’t want to let my guard down around him.
It was the weekly movie night that they had. I was tired from work and didn’t feel like driving so I wasn’t going to go but Minho had offered to come and get me. I knew the guys would be sad if I didn’t come so I allowed him to come get me. The car ride over to his dorm was quiet, so quiet that I was slowly falling asleep. When we got there he gently shook me awake, before getting out and rushing around to my side of the car to open my door for me. He was being sweeter than normal and it shocked me, I didn’t know why.
“Before we go up, why are you being so sweet?”
“What do you mean?”
“Even before this whole thing, you were never this sweet to me.”
“I want to apologize, this is my way of saying sorry.”
“You don’t have to be so sweet about it Minho.”
“Why don’t you call me Min anymore?”
“What?”
“Before, you used to call me Min. But now you only call me Minho.”
“I guess it’s just habit now.”
“I miss when you called me Min.”
“I guess I can try to start calling you that again.”
“Y/n, I just want to say again how sorry I am. Not a day goes by where I am not sorry enough for what I said.”
“I’m starting to forgive you Min. It just takes time.”
“Y/n, before we go up. I need to tell you something.”
“What is it?”
“I’m probably stupid for saying this, and this probably will undo all the work I’ve done but I can’t keep it to myself anymore.”
“You’re worrying me.”
“Y/n, I like you. I have for a while now.”
“What.”
“I like you y/n, romantically.”
“You do? Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“Why do you like me? You could like or have anyone you want, so why me?”
“Why not you, you are kind, beautiful, caring, loving, my cats love you, maybe more than me. My friends absolutely adore you, I adore you y/n. You make my days brighter, you make tough days easier.”
“If you like me, then why didn’t you text me when you were on tour?”
“Truthfully I don’t know. I wish I had, I know I should have. I think that I felt guilty for having been so rude when you needed my help.”
“Han, and the guys always said that you felt the same. But I never believed them because you were always so hot and cold towards me.”
“Wait, felt the same?”
“Yes, Min. I liked you too.”
“Liked, past tense.”
“Like, present tense. I still like you Minho, but I’m scared. I’m scared that you will go back to being how you were before your tour. Being hot and cold towards me.” I say quietly, not looking at him.
“Y/n, I want you to know. I am so sorry for treating you like that, I didn’t know how to handle my feelings for you. It was actually thanks to Han that I had some sense knocked into me before the tour and then I went and ruined that. I also want you to know that I will never treat you that way again.” he reaches forward and grabs my hands
“I’m scared Min.”
“You don’t have to be scared, I won’t ever do that to you again.” he reaches up, tilting my head to look at him. I let him, looking into his eyes, I can see the honesty and sadness at the hurt that he had caused me in the past.
“Min, what are we doing?” I whisper.
“I really want to kiss you y/n. But I won’t unless I have your permission.” he looks between my eyes and lips.
“Kiss me Min, please. I want to stop living in fear.”
He doesn’t respond, instead he leans in slowly, kissing my lips softly, giving me the chance to pull away if I change my mind. But when I press into him more, he wraps one of his arms around my waist and pulls me into him, deepening the kiss. My arms go around him, not wanting to let him go. This kiss feels like no other kiss, it feels like fireworks are going off. It’s a feeling that I can’t even begin to describe. We both don’t want to pull away but we need to breathe, we also both knew that we should head up and meet up with the rest of the guys.
“Min, what does this mean for us?”
“What do you want this to mean for us?”
“I want us to be together.”
“Then we can be together.”
“But do you want us to be together?”
“Of course I do. I have wanted to be with you for years y/n.”
“Years?”
“Yes, years. SInce the first time that I met you.”
“I want to be your girlfriend Minho.”
“I want you to be my girlfriend, y/n. But I want to ask you the right way. Let me take you on a proper date, let me ask you the right way.”
“Can I still sit with you tonight during the movie?”
“Are you asking if you can still cuddle with me during the movie?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, y/n you can.”
I can’t contain my excitement and rush forward, hugging him. He immediately wraps his arms around me, hugging me back. We hug each other for a few minutes before letting go, heading up to the dorm. He grabs my hand, making me smile. When we walk in, the guys don’t seem to pay much attention until we sit down on the couch together. They all seem shocked, except Han, when Minho pulls me into him. We ignore their shocked faces, continuing to be in our own world.
Epilogue:
Minho doesn’t tell me where he’s taking me on our date, just that I should wear a cute dress and comfy shoes. I keep trying to convince him to tell me but he won’t, saying that I would like the surprise. When he picked me up, he was wearing a nice button down and jeans. I had on a nice summer dress and some flats.
When we finally got to where the date was, I was shocked to see that he was taking me to an aquarium. I was surprised that he had remembered that I had even mentioned liking them, years ago, in passing. As we walked throughout the aquarium, I couldn’t contain my excitement at getting to experience an aquarium date. I don’t know how but at some point near the end of the date we both end up alone in one of the areas, I’m not paying much attention to anything else except for the fish. If I was paying attention to Minho, I would see that he’s taking pictures of me, in my own world. I feel a tap on my shoulder so I turn towards Minho, smiling brightly at him.
“Are you enjoying the date y/nnie?”
“I am, this is the best date ever.”
“I’m glad that you are enjoying it.”
“Thank you for this.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Can we do this again sometime?”
“We can do this whenever you want y/n.”
“Thank you, for everything Min.”
“Thank you, y/n. For forgiving me and for giving me this chance.” He gives me a quick kiss.
“I’m glad that you fought me, made me see that you were sorry.”
“Y/n, I want to ask.”
“Yes?”
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
“Yes Min, I will.” I say excitedly. Jumping onto him. He catches me, spinning me around while kissing me.
We spend the rest of the afternoon walking around the aquarium before getting dinner at the small diner next door. We soon headed back to his dorm, he had mentioned that the others might be there since they all had the night off and Han had offered to host another movie night. With them having just finished a world tour they had some much needed time off, so they were having a lot of movie nights. Minho had invited me and I wanted to spend more time with him, so I accepted his offer, knowing that I would probably end up falling asleep at their place.
When we walk into the dorm, I can hear commotion happening. It sounds like Felix is bothering Innie again and Innie is trying to get Chan to help him but he’s just standing back and watching it all unfold. When the members see Minho and I walk in, everyone stops what they are doing, I immediately get shy, while Minho continues to act the same.
“Are you two finally together?” Felix is the first one to break the tension.
“Yes Felix we are.” Minho answers
“Fucking finally.” Hyunjin answers from the kitchen.
“You sound like you’ve been waiting forever.” Minho says.
“We have. Or at least that’s what it feels like.” Han says from the couch.
We ignore them, heading into Minho’s room. Minho sets out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt for me to change into since I hadn’t brought anything with me before our date. He leaves me to change, while I change I can hear the guys giving him shit, but I know that they are just giving him a hard time in a friendly way. Once I’m done changing, he changes and we all settle down to watch a movie. I know that the guys support our relationship and hopefully one day Stay will support it as well. It took time but I did forgive him, and he knows that if he ever treats me that way again, I won’t forgive him. But I truly don't think that he will make that mistake again, I want to believe that we will continue to be happy together with each other and with our friends.
Bang Chan | Seo Changbin | Hwang Hyunjn | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin |
a/n. fricking loved writing this, it made me miss summer so muuuch, but i had the greatest time while listening to these songs on replay😋 highly suggest to have them playing in the background while reading! or just give them a listen cuz they’re amazing hehe hope you enjoy!! xx
song recommendations. calm - cody simpson, im in love with you - the 1975, island in the sun - weezer, heavenly state of mind - lewis capaldi, the view - skz
"I like the view right now!" you chanted as the salty wind ruffled your hair and caressed your skin.
Your eight friends started hooting in agreement, all understanding the reference to one of your favorite songs of theirs.
As a celebration of their highly successful last tour, you had all decided to book a trip to a private island off the coast of Australia. It took a boat ride to reach the secluded piece of land filled with villas and populated with a few staff members. It was a paradisiac hideaway for you all, so accustomed to being surrounded all the time.
You turned back with a gigantic smile. Felix, who was standing behind you, mirrored the expression on your face, a certain twinkle illuminating his gaze.
You jumped in his arms, startling him as he caught you rapidly. "And I love going to the beach!"
He spun you around, feet digging in the sand while you both screamed. The rest of the group looked at you with amused expressions. By now, they had become quite accustomed to your antics. You ended your frivolous spinning by plopping down on the sand, slightly out of breath. You stretched your arms as far as you could, relishing in the stunning warmth of the Australian sun, and turned to cuddle against Felix, his nose already nuzzling in your hair.
"I'm so happy to be back home, Lix."
"So am I," he answered with a soft smile, his eyes half-closed.
After a day well spent outside, swimming and exploring, you had collectively decided to set up a cozy little camp on the beach to enjoy the warm night under a sky full of stars.
"Are you done, you two? We need help setting up!" shouted Changbin.
"I'm coming, you whiny child!"
You faked irritation with rolled eyes, but ever since you walked off the plane, you couldn't stop your lips from tilting upwards. Your soul seemed to be shouting and dancing to the rhythm of your home. Nothing could you get you down from your little cloud of happiness, even a whiny Changbin. You got up to lend him a hand before he started throwing a tantrum, not noticing Felix's hand still subtly reaching for you.
The young Australian looked at the stunning view. You were right. Being home felt amazing. It was wonderful to have some vacations after being on tour, especially here with you.
You had been friends for as long as he could remember.
From meeting in kindergarten to facing high school's adventures to growing into two young adults. You never had any big fights, your friendship having prevailed over any argument and hardship. Even the distance hadn't been enough to pull you apart.
Felix remembers too well the fear he felt before telling you he wanted to become an idol all those years ago. He was so scared you would disapprove and hate him for wanting to go so far away. But your anger only came from the fact that he had never said a thing about it. He remembers fondly how you jumped on him, hugging him tight with tears lining your eyes. From that moment on, you had been his fiercest supporter. You cried buckets when he left for Korea but made him promise to keep in touch every day. So you video chatted whenever he could. You stayed up with him for entire nights, braving the time difference to give him pointers on choreo stuff or to cheer him up when he had a rough day.
Until you no longer had to do any of that.
Looking at you now, getting along so well with his brothers, made his heart tighten with emotion. At 23 years old, he had everything he ever wanted.
Well, almost everything
Felix knew since he was 14 years old that he loved you. Part of him had hoped that once he was in Korea, his heart would finally stop beating only for you, but it never happened. He had dated a little, but no one had compared to you. With time, he became accustomed to the idea of never falling in love with anyone else.
It was a thought he accepted without so much difficulty. He couldn't help how his heart started speeding up whenever you were close to him. The reassuring feeling of having you by his side. The way your smile made him see stars. The way you cuddled into his side or held his hand, how your gaze lit up whenever you saw the sea, and how he was the one you reached for when you were sad, angry, or just disgustingly happy. He wanted to experience everything with you, every high and every low. He couldn't and didn't want to imagine himself doing life with anyone else. It would be this or nothing else, and he was comfortable with that.
After all these years, he had never found the courage to tell you. The fear of losing you paralyzed him. But as he looked at the joyful sea, breathed the fresh Australian air, and looked at you laughing and fighting fiercely against an uncooperative beach chair, he thought maybe this vacation was the time. The time to face his fears, as he did almost seven years ago to chase his dream, and see where it would lead him.
"Felix!" called Changbin, interrupting his train of thought. "Come and walk with us! We want to see how far the beach goes in that direction."
He lifted his head with a smile, looking at his friends waiting for him, bare feet in the sand.
"Hurry!" you waved. "We don't want to miss the sunset!"
It had been months since he had seen you so excited, so eager. He knew you loved coming with them on tour. But he also knew Australia would always own your heart.
"Alright, alright. I'm coming!"
He swatted the sand away from his shorts before walking to your little group.
You started walking on the beach, Felix close to you. Seungmin, I.N, Hyunjin, and Changbin ahead, busy taking pictures in front of the rose-colored sunset. Bang Chan and Lee Know were trying to start your little fire while Han prepared the perfect playlist. Suddenly, you recognized the familiar air of their song, 'The View'. You looked back to Han with a huge smile. He simply winked and gave you a thumbs-up before focusing on his phone once more.
The notes of the music danced around you, making the ambiance even more special. There was something in the air, a prickling, exciting feeling.
You swayed gently to the music as Felix snapped a few pictures. The two oldest near the fire, Han next to the speaker, the boys walking ahead, the sunset. He seemed to be on a mission to commit everything to memory.
You felt his focus shift and noticed he subtly tried taking pictures of you. You walked up to him with a soft smile.
"Are you taking pictures of me, sir?"
"I might be," he smiled back, his dimples on display.
"Well, I'm afraid you need permission for that…" you continued, taking a step closer.
Without giving him a second to interpret your movement, you stole his phone with a squeal of victory.
"Come back here!" He protested, but you ran as fast as you could to Changbin, giving him the phone. As you expected, he sprinted in the opposite direction while laughing like a dolphin.
"You think you're funny or something?" asked a slightly out of breath Felix as he reached you.
"In fact, I do."
You splashed him and ran off while giggling like a maniac. As hoped, your antics started a generalized water war. Felix kept running after you, deciding he needed to get vengeance while the other boys splashed each other. You laughed wildly and ran in the shallow waters, not daring to look back and give him a chance to reach you.
You had water up to your knees by the time you heard him whine, "Wait! Y/n! You're gonna get all wet."
You turned around with a taunting look in your eyes. "Felix Lee, has the idol lifestyle gotten to you?" You gave him a pitying look. "Have you forgotten all about your Australian roots? Are you scared of a little water?"
A little taunting was usually all it took for you to rile up your best friend, and tonight would be no different. His eyes scrunched with determination, "Oh, you just wait till I get my hands on you." He tried threatening you, but you didn't give him a chance as you dove into the clear water.
Without a second thought, he jumped in after you, fully clothed. He barely broke the surface when you jumped on him from behind and tried to push him back underwater. He managed to take ahold of your wrists, careful not to clamp too hard. You took a deep breath, ready to be ducked under, but he softly made you twirl in the water. You gave him a surprised look as he winked and let you go benevolently.
Complete elation seized you as the beautiful young man looked at you with that smile of his, hair slicked back from the water, a light illuminating his soft eyes.
"I love Australia! I love the beach! I love being in the water! I love this night!!!" you screamed as you threw your arms in the air.
The other boys looked in your direction with giant smiles, drenched in water. The ever-present professional idol aura in their demeanor was nowhere in sight. They shone with pure happiness. For once, they could be only themselves, away from cameras and personas. Your heart sang with happiness for them.
"I love being home!" screamed Chan.
"I love Australian BBQ!" added Changbin.
"I love vacations!" said I.N
"I love to splash Grandpa Chan!" joked Seungmin.
"I love sunsets!" screamed Hyunjin.
"I love water wars!" laughed Han.
"I love cats!" finished Lee Know.
All eyes turned to Felix, the only one who hadn't said anything yet. His soft gaze set on you, the intensity taking the breath away from your lungs. He rallied his breath and screamed. "I LOVE YOU!"
The boys all went silent.
You stared at him in disbelief.
"I love you. I love you so much. I always have, and I always will. Since we were kids, no one has ever meant the same to me. I love being here with you. I love being anywhere around the world with you. I love seeing you smile. I love the way you're so passionate. I- I don't want anyone else." It occurred to Felix that this was maybe not the right way to do this, as he noticed the silence surrounding him, but he kept going. "I know this is probably so out of pocket for you. You probably don't believe this is real, but I assure you it is. Since I was 14, I've been thinking of the right way to say this to you. I never thought it would happen like this but it feels right. So right, to finally tell you while you're at the place you love most and where I can see you shine brighter than ever."
You stared at him before a smile tugged at your lips, and you suddenly screamed. "I LOVE YOU!"
He stood there with his arms limp at his side. Your words shocked him, and his mouth opened before he asked, "You love me?"
The light of disbelief shining in his eyes made your heart tighten. "Of course, I love you Lix. Honestly, I'm not sure how you didn't notice it," you added with a sheepish smile.
He took a step towards you, "You love me?"
"Yes."
Another.
"You're sure?" you nodded with a bright smile.
He was right in front of you, his arms a millimeter from wrapping around your body.
"You love, love me?"
"OF COURSE I LOVE LOVE YOU. ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL."
You leaped in his arms, water splashing around.
"SHE LOVES HIM!" Screamed the seven other boys in unison.
You smiled as you put your lips on his, barely registering the ruckus of your friends running for the two of you, throwing water around to celebrate the long-awaited moment you two idiots would realize you had been pinning for each other for years.
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