[imp-deactivated20171219-deactiv]

when people say my name im like.   cant believe i exist

[milkmakeup-blog]

[theonion]

[shydollface]

[avpdghosts]

*accidentaly vents to friend* great now i can never speak to them again

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[thinking2-deactivated20171229]

people w words like cool friendly nice friend buddy guy etc in their URL I automatically trust u

[coolfriendlynicefriendbuddyguy]

whats your credit card number

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

no one:

charmin bears: i fucking love???????????????????????shitting ??????????????

[thebootydiaries]

tumblr users: we don’t like these ads

staff: ok

staff: *puts frame around ads*

staff: ur welcome

[terukie-deactivated20190831]

Ok I’ll bite. Who’s oscar

[neilnevins-deactivated20240617]

Had a dream that McDonald’s had a big ad campaign that just said “WE HAVE IT” in black cryptic writing. So I went to a drive thru and said “I saw the sign. Can I have it” and the speaker was silent for a solid ten seconds before saying “do you think you’re ready” in my voice and I screamed and drove away

[doppelgender]

its a shame that in 6 or so billion years, any and all existence on earth will be wiped out by the sun’s expansion, and it’s almost scary to think about how even now the sun continues to grow bigger and hotter, sexy and hotter let’s shut it down. pound the alarm

[dankmemeuniversity]

[lolsofunny]

you promised these kids krabby the clown

but all i saw was

cheapy the cheapskate

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

who wants to see the awful thing i just made

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

too bad here it is

[rosewater1997]

me drinking green tea: this is gonna fix Everything

[she-rachel]

me exactly every 29 days: why am I so fucking sad

Me @me a few seconds later after using common sense: