While waking up, I had a moment of clarity. I saw a child standing in front of me, she was me. She was crying, ruby swollen eyes. She was trying to make no sound as if she were afraid of me. Then she said “why you let those rabid dogs eat away my tears and tear my heart in pieces. Aren’t you supposed to protect me?”
And then she whispered, voice broken, “how do you expect to see clear when your eyes are always full of tears?” and I felt like my chest was gonna explode with all the pain in the world. In that moment I opened my eyes. How could I have surrendered in such a miserable way?












