worlds biggest salami
EXPECTATIONS

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tannertan36
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@steeze-buscemi
worlds biggest salami
huey in some capsicum suspenders: today im making a raw pigs lung filled with packet mashed potatoes made with bundy instead of water
me:
best case scenario
i lie down on some moss and it is not damp
i’m junior
he’s so sweet. he was really trying to close the pizza box correctly. junior is a nice kid and i am his biggest fan.
when the cashier gives u back ur change and ur putting it away but u cant do it fast enough and suddenly theyre holding out ur shopping bag and u have no hands and the coins are dropping to the ground and the bag goes up in flames and the cashier is crying and ur crying and ur wallet is screaming and ur descending into hell
birth of coleslaw
creepy peasant: if only this salad was wetter, and slimier
me: *flips dogs ear inside out* me: can u..,. hear better like this
we need to stop being so desperate about finding aliens. we need to play hard to get, pretend like we couldn’t care less. watch them come rushing into our atmosphere