Stella brittle

Please bring your own milk pitcher

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The wind blows gently on the other side of the hill

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At 24, I worry. I worry about how fast my twenties will slip by. Ageless Time will abandon my youth - without a glance, she’ll say goodbye. What if… what if I won’t be able to blow the lights out without saying one last goodbye?

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Musings (here it comes again)

 I say to myself well done. Well done for catching a cold when you could have easily prevented it from happening. Well done. Well done for lying in the cold, all huddled up in front of the fire place. Well done for keeping your little feet cold. Well done for entering the deepest place of solidarity. Well done for accepting that you’re going down with the cold. Cos that’s what it is. You’re going down with the cold. As you type away, your inner conflict starts rumbling out. As if to say, “I’ve had enough!”. Before it turns July, before the start of spring starts knocking at your door, turn around and say, “well done”. 

Today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow awaits your little fragile soul, slowly burning away its load of ego. Slowly burning away... So tell yourself that you’ve done a good job for catching that horrible cold. For what reason is there to despair over life?

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Newt's painting was small and black and warty. It consisted of scratches made in a black, gummy impasto. The scratches formed a sort of spider's web, and I wondered if they might not be the sticky nets of human futility hung up on a moonless night to dry. - p117 Cat's Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut

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The Lord has given me peace He has raised me from despair I rejoice in his name I rejoice under his mercy

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How I Feel

Hiding Behind walls Screaming Silent ruins Praying For it to end

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심장이 터질것만 같은 순간 순간 기다림의 연속 중에 발견한 나의 모습 나를 기다리시는 그분도.. 같은 마음일까?

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Summer comes without warning

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A great place to have lunch!

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splendid.

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life ain't so simple

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The rain falls, and falls, and falls.

I sit in my car. 

Thinking about GTSs and what not. 

I sit in my car, waiting.

Waiting for the lights to change.

The rain falls, and falls, and falls. 

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the night before

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There is no alternative. It is not possible to close your eyes to it, it is not possible to say no. There's no recourse, no mercy, no salvation to be had from anyone. There's not even any hope that time will sort things out. There's this, there's what you've seen, and now and again it will be less horrible than what you've seen, and now and again it will be much more horrible than what you've seen. But wherever you turn your eyes, that's what you will see, you will not see anything else, and that is the only thing that will turn out to be true. -Georges Perec, W or The Memory of Childhood, pg 140

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다시

어느새 다시 찾아온 10월의 봄바람 다시 우리를 스치듯 지나갈 이 시간을 붙잡아 둘수도 없지만 너무나 빨리 우리를 두고 가버릴 이시간을 놓아 주기도 싫기에 내 마음 분주해지기 전에 10월의 푸른 달빛과 헤지기 전에 나는 빨리 숨어야겠다

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break some bones

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I was wondering about my eyes; one of my eyes- the left - saw everything golden and yellow and orange, and the other eye saw shades of blue and grey and green; perhaps one eye was for daylight and the other was for night. If everyone in the world saw different colors from different eyes there might be a great many new colors still to be invented.

- Merricat, We Have Always Lived In The Castle, p 100