Thoughts within when without

Quotes and poems

[simplyseol-deactivated20250905]

It’s when I’m standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you that I want to just scream to the whole room that I’m still in love with you. It’s when I’m sitting alone with the phone in my hand dialing your number and hanging up that I would trade a thousand tomorrows for just one yesterday. Then I could just call you to tell you goodnight. It’s when I am really sad about something and need someone to talk to that I realize you’re the only one who really knew me at all. It’s when I cry myself to sleep at night and it hits me how much I would give to hold you at that very moment. It’s when I think about you that I realize no one else in the world is meant for me.

James Frey (via simplyseol)

[riding-the-wavez]

Sucks 😒

[olearypoetry]

[extramadness]

[confusedmusings]

No one’s life should be rooted in fear. We are born for wonder, for joy, for hope, for love, to marvel at the mystery of existence, to be ravished by the beauty of the world, to seek truth and meaning, to acquire wisdom, and by our treatment of others to brighten the corner where we are.

Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz (via confusedmusings)

[neuroticdream]

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish you were dead. What doesn’t destroy you leaves you broken instead.

(via neuroticdream)

[indigoblauekinder]

[quintessentialquotes]

We are never the people we think we are. We are the ones we pretend, with all our hearts, we can’t become.

Jodi Picoult, The Tenth Circle (via quintessentialquotes)

[stephanieemery]

Quitting meth

"FEARLESS: Having the courage to let go of something you know isn't good for you even if it feels like you can't breathe without it" ◦ To me quitting meth is equivalent to leaving an abusive relationship and I say that because it means walking away from something you love with every beat of your heart but hate with every breath you take. They say you can't have strength without weakness light without dark and love without loss. The same holds true with a meth addiction....you have the good and the bad flip sides of the same coin. So when you quit meth you have to let go of two equal and opposite versions of the situation. The first version you have to quit is the monkey on your back the elephant in the room, it's the demon that always has the upper hand no matter what. This is the bad side of the drug that has stripped me of everything...my freedom my family my values my priorities and at one point it stripped me of all hope. This version is the one that is easy to hate the one that I'm glad to be quitting because I know I deserve better in my life. The other version you have to quit is the greatest love of your life. Its the first thing you think of in the morning the last thing you think of before going to bed at night and the only thing you think of in between. Even after over a year sober it will cross your mind more often than not. This is the version you would be willing to sell the world for if only you could get your hands on it. It becomes your constant that always holds the promise of a good day. It's the fast paced life that you will build your dreams upon not realizing that the foundation is made up of quick sand. It's not the one your powerless over that you will miss daily it's the one you relied on to get thru the day the one that seemed to make all the bad things in life not seem so bad. You'll hate the reality of what the drug will do to your life but you'll love the illusion it once gave you. You'll love the memories of using and the lifestyle it brings. I think it's hard to quit meth because you don't know how to get the closure you need. You can't reason you way to the cause of your drug use so your mind just makes up reasons that nearly destroy you. The harder you search for reason the more the truth evades you. Its hard to quit meth because the only thing you hate more than the drug is yourself. You hate yourself for loving it for investing in it and for turning a blind eye to every red flag that was a clue along the way. You'll hate yourself for believing you had control over it and you'll hate yourself for not putting together the puzzle pieces that you'd rather deny that you were holding. It's hard to quit meth cause there's no proper way to mourn the loss of that drug. Your encouraged to feel every horrible emotion you can towards the drug. Your told you shouldn't love it shouldn't miss it because you should be to angry to feel sadness. So therefore you don't give yourself the chance to go through the process of grieving something that was once a major part of your life and because you deny yourself this process you exemplified the pain. It's hard to quit meth because you become ashamed of still wanting it of still loving it ashamed of being to scared to start your life over without it. You get ashamed because it makes you feel weak to feel anything but hatred. It's hard to quit meth because at the end of the day the main person you have to forgive is yourself. You have to forgive yourself for missing the signs you chose not to see. For losing the game that you never signed up to play and for allowing a substance to define who you was. It's hard to accept that bad things can happen to you. That you can be fooled by a drug blinded by its effects and still end up the loser in the end. It's hard to quit meth because when you do it flips your world upside down and the only way to flip it right side up again is to give yourself permission to work through it. To accept responsibility for your addiction and to work through the conjoined twins of emotion that you have for the drug. In my personal experience with quitting meth I find that it helps to remember that not every person who has this addiction will be able to hold on to as much as I've been able to hold on to. There are many more than I who get dealt a harsher hand and never even draw a face card.

[everythingistakentbh]

Drugs gave me wings and then took away my sky

(via everythingistakentbh)

[nicolethedopefiendqueen]

I hate when people refer to my drug addiction as “partying”. The party stopped long ago before the addiction began, it hasn’t been partying since the very beginning of my drug use. I may be high, but it isn’t fun anymore, certainly no where near a damn party. I need to invade my veins with smack and my lungs with crack just to function normally enough to start my day. My life is consumed by addiction. Partying is a part of most peoples lives at some points on weekends or late nights, addiction is such a massive part of my life that when the weekend ends and the night turns to day I’m still trapped in the brutal cycle of drug addiction, this is no fucking party, it’s a nightmare.

journal entry 11-13-16 (via nicolethedopefiendqueen)

[reynabiddy]

sometimes your heart will hurt. sometimes your smile will ache. sometimes your light will dim. sometimes your spirit will break. sometimes your entire world will come crashing down with no warning, and no signs.. but no matter how destroyed you feel - you have to be willing to dig deep inside of yourself to find some ambition to get you back right. you have to look out for you. you have to let go. you have to place your focus primarily on YOU. nothing about losing what’s familiar feels good.. but uncomfortable places can be beautiful. growth is beautiful. you are beautiful. you shouldn’t have to wait around and pray for someone to love you. you should love you. you should let go - because nothing worth holding onto will ever destroy you. and holding on is destroying you. trying to love someone into loving you - is destroying you. let go because you have to get a hold of you. you have to retrace your steps and figure out where you let YOU go. you have to take time to yourself to reflect on when and where you lost yourself. you have to let go of what no longer is - and accept what may have never been.. then you have to pick yourself back up. you have to release any negativity clouding your mind and you have to rid yourself of hopeful feelings. cleanse your soul. listen to your intuition. learn yourself. let go of any bad habits you’ve picked up along your journey. and start over. no matter how bad or how much it hurts.. let go and start over. holding on is destroying you.

Reyna Biddy (via reynabiddy)

[unexpressd]

I kept a distance from you, not because of the miles but because of the damage I knew you’d end up doing to my heart. you were in dangerous waters I shouldn’t have explored. But yet no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I could not get attached, you broke my walls. You became my drug, and I became addicted. You gave me a feeling that was better then every good mood I ever had put together that lifted me higher then ever before. You left me craving so much more, only to be let down by waves of disappointment and anger. I wanted you all to myself, I thought you were mine. You said you were mine. You put into my head that I was special and you needed me too. But you lied didn’t you?

18 year old needing rehabilitation (via unexpressd)

[magaoidh]

Once a person shows you their true face stop looking for the mask.

My father (via magaoidh)

[bookaddictiion]

You lost all interest in this world. You were disappointed and discouraged, and lost interest in everything. So you abandoned your physical body. You went to a world apart and you’re living a different kind of life there. In a world that’s inside you.

Haruki Murakami, 1Q84 (via bookaddictiion)

[quotebook-in]

Sometimes we tolerate the destructive patterns of others, because we are afraid to lose them, not understanding that tolerating them will cause us to lose ourselves.

Royale L'radin (via quotebook-in)

[quotejunkiie]

“Losing you.”