[cutiemon-deactivated20190223]

someone: i love you

my damaged ass: haha, no you don’t

[ithelpstodream]

[pururin]

[arandomthot]

This hits home a little too hard

[m86-deactivated20171116]

this is my next tattoo

[respectfulmemes]

[caden]

literally the clickbait on this website has completely entirely surpassed actual jokes made by bloggers in terms of humor

[detroiters]

[gluom]

[binches-deactivated20220521]

wow bill nye is a fucking stud

[stickeefingers-deactivated20190]

[fghjgkhljhcgghjvkb-deactivated2]

open rp

hey its me grimes!

[tamboochie]

[fghjgkhljhcgghjvkb-deactivated2]

on no! a gun!

[thursday]

[theartistformerlyknownasb]

My dad told me a story recently about how he was in Boy Scouts or something and they went on a hike and were each given a rifle and one single bullet to practice shooting with (idk, it was the 70s or whatever). One of his friends, whom I’ll refer to as Steel Balls for reasons that will soon become clear, beckons my dad to a part of the woods and points to a giant hornets nest up in a tree. SB announces that he’s going to shoot it, waits for my dad to take cover (as one should in this situation), and fires off his only round into the nest. Sure enough, a swarm of pissed off hornets descend upon SB, who stands stoically and perfectly still at the base of the tree. Dad maintains that, despite their buzzing right around him, none of the hornets stung his friend, and they soon calmed down and returned to their newly renovated nest. SB turns back to face my dad and imparts this chunk of wisdom: “That’s the secret to dealing with hornets, Jim. They don’t know humans make rifle shots; they don’t know where the noise came from. You gotta stand still and don’t move, and they won’t chase you. If you run, they know you’re guilty.” Apparently dad was so awed he gave up his single bullet so SB could shoot the nest a second time, with the same results.

Long story short: hornets can sense guilt and there are people in the world who have tested this theory.

[sleeepinglover]

[xxziggystardust]

[allison-mick]

[lilttlekingtrashmouth]

Myself @ me: you need to wake up earlier so you don’t waste the day Me @ myself: sorry I was sleeping and just saw this lol wyd

[niggasandcomputers]

it really be your own stupid ass

[lants-mclame]

me : im gonna be productive today ! I’m gonna get some work done and clean up , maybe go out-

my brain :