peter b parker + text posts
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@stephminette
peter b parker + text posts
Well I did not expect to be told to smile when I had 2 boxes of tampons, a large box of Midol, and a bag of chocolate in my basket, but I guess some dudes have a death wish.
… holy SHIT. That is peak contender-for-darwin-awards RIGHT THERE.
I was walking home from the hospital after having miscarried my first pregnancy and some dude told me to smile. I swear to god I have never been closer to homicide, and I think it would have been ruled justifiable.
I was weeping quietly on a train, having returned home from a funeral, and the guy sitting opposite me leaned over and told me I shouldn’t be sad and needed to smile more.
I had just learned my grandfather had died, and was heading down in the elevator to call my mom to find out about the arrangements, when an older man told me to smile and then called me a bitch for not responding.
Had to go to the bank after euthanizing our 18 year old cat. Could barely remember my routing number while filling out the deposit form, and an older man told me to smile.
I was walking home from a test I knew I had aced and I was grinning ear to ear, and some guy in the street yelled at me, “What you smiling at, bitch?”
Wow men really be like that
lion roars are not as powerful as some guy named frank with a trash can
how can you post that and not include the video
I’M FUCKING WHEEZING
*several seconds of feral snarls*
“great, great yeah that was good”
I liTERaLLY CAnT BTeAtHE
did you know that Friday 13th was meant to be a really good lucky day meant for fucking because it was dedicated to Freyja, the goddess of love and fertility and the patron goddess of Fridays
but then Christianity found out about it and were like “Fucking???? outside of marriage????? NO NO NO!!!” and decided it was a horrible terrible bad unlucky day and you need to be super careful of everything you do in case you die or some shit.
so thanks Christians for ruining everyone’s fucking fun
Petition to bring back Friday the FUCKteenth.
you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog
Couldn’t risk it.
didn’t realize they change colors. now I know o gotta wish.
THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT
She knows she’s fabulous. (via kerbiegibbs)
We go to sleep never knowing the moment we actually go to sleep.
THE SHEET IS MADE OUT OF WOOD TOO
Wendell Castle, Ghost Clock. 1985
THAT IS MAHOGANY
I thought this was a joke until I read the description
WHAT HTE FCUK
i love Legally Blonde so much. all of the women are so supportive of each other im??
when Elle was supposed to get engaged, none of the girls were jealous, they were genuinely happy for her n helped her get ready for the big dinner
when her bf broke up with her they were supportive
when Elle says she wants to go to harvard the counselor lady is like but ur major is fashion, do u have any backup plan? n elle is like nope im going to harvard n the lady is like okay then here’s what u gotta do.
her friends didnt get why she wanted to go to law school but supported her anyway, and helped her study
when she got 179 on her exam (more than her goal), they treated her like a queen
and that’s only in the first 18 minutes of the movie
Legally Blonde is a “girl power” movie with killer inspirational and positive attitude disguised as a stereotypical blonde movie.
Emma Stone + Spice Girls “I wanted to dress like the Spice Girls [when I was a kid], I got platform Skechers. I had bell-bottoms. A lot of peace signs. I cut bangs like Baby Spice because I had blond hair. I wanted to be Baby Spice. I wasn’t Baby because my voice sounded exactly like it does now, and I had that spunky energy going on - I wasn’t super demure and sweet. But I really wanted to be.”
Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”
the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.
I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.
The Spice
Nothing cheers me up better than Bryan Cranston throwing pizza.
city is woke af
diablo cody deserved an oscar for this screenplay