Danger Never Tasted Sweeter @stephplusone - Tumblr Blog

Sometimes the customer is wrong for unrelated reasons.

warning: long story

Due to the well of my friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations drying up, I have turned to that most sacred of modern relationship institutions: online dating. As a very busy person trying to get it in with other very busy people, I prize honestly and directness above all else when it comes to profile creation. I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat. Not “curvy,” not “thick,” not “lots to love”–I’m f*cking fat. I’m not ashamed of it, but I also known that weight is a dealbreaker for lots of people. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

About a year ago I met “Evan” via Tinder. We exchanged friendly messages for a few hours one night and agreed to meet up for drinks the following evening. I waited for a full hour past the designated time, and just as I was getting up to leave, the texts started rolling in.

“I can see you sweating from here.” “How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?” “Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”

Keep reading

william-snekspeare

Some of you were curious about the honey process

Well, I’m here to show you what these wonderful little ladies make, and how us humans collect the extra.

Some Vocabulary:

This is a Langstroth beehive. Those boxes in it are called “Supers”. Supers hold 10 frames each. Frames look like this.

I’m here to teach you about honey extraction from this particular kind of hive, and when you only have like 5 or 6.

The Process:

First, we start with the frame of honey.

Notice anything? The bees have “capped” this honey with beeswax so it can keep for the winter! (or beekeep heheh)

So what you wanna do is cut those bad boys off with ya Hot Knife.

(Or you can just scrape them off with a fork. Or poke holes in them. Dealer’s choice, man.)

Next, you put your uncapped frames in the Crazy Spin Cylinder. (The Extractor)

And YA CRANK IT

And the honey sp i n s

Honey GO

H O N E Y

The frames are spun at such a high speed that the honey is pulled right out!

Next, you open the spigot at the bottom, run it through a strainer…

Pour it in a jar…

and VOILA!

Beautiful Bee Nectar that you got yaself! This has been a PSA

breefolk-hates-staff

This is my favorite episode of How It’s Made.

novembersol

Holy shit. I wana try this, a nigga is feeling real scientific

candiikismet

This is amazing

kalin7art

THIS GOT SO GAY SO FAST.

Sorry for the long pauses, I wasn’t expecting it so suddenly and out of nowhere and I was busy laughing my ass off. This game is life guys. I don’t think I’ve EVER enjoyed an AC so much, and I’ve been playing this series since it came out in 2007.

Also sorry to my supergirl followers for spamming you with stuff you don’t care about …it’s going to be this way for a while, I’ll tell you the truth.

kendrene

I CAN’T PLAY TILL LATER TODAY THIS IS TORTURE

musinvenusian

I got mine yesterday but i didn’t put it into my PS4 to download yet.

i-want-my-iwtv

OMG LOOK AT THIS… @morganeskylar shared this w/ me. Dark Love has these deliciously goth chocolate collections at reasonable prices, no less.

EDIT: September 22, 2018: People have been cutting off the original caption which has the link to buy these, and then later reblogs accuse OP of not having the link! So I edited the original post so the link is above the caption, AND to include Dark Love’s NEW OFFERING: the Undead collection!

DARK LOVE 6 PIECE UNDEAD COLLECTION One of each of the new Undead flavors: First Love (cherry amaretto), Facade (peppermint), Immortal (peach marzipan), Hellsing (toffee coconut), Devil’s Claim (whiskey caramel), Elysian (peanut butter)

I bought the original set and they were delicious, a coven party in my mouth, A++++ highly recommend.

gothiccharmschool

BRB, waving this at Your Curmudgeonly Uncle Pete, because why yes, this would be a perfect anniversary present.

hawaiian-monk-selkie

Want

niggazinmoscow

Perfectly gay ❤️

endangered-justice-seeker

Separation of young children, in fact any children, from their carer is child abuse, and I would love to see those who initiated and implemented this policy charged with this offence.

afunnyfeminist

We need a new hell for the monsters who implemented this policy.

betweenbeatriceandbaudelaire

By juliedillon // Support the artist

themightyglamazon

WOW I LOVE THIS

byecolonizer

https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nba/2018/07/30/lebron-james-promise-school-akron-ohio/862159002/

Some people don’t understand how big this is, opening a school, especially a public one is a huge undertaking and even with LeBron money it’s costly.

It’s really nice to see black celebs and athletes actually show their support for the community, rather than sparing a few words about it.

This is Beautiful

Wowwwwwww

someone: so what do you think is the solution to homelessness?

me, socialist:

left-reminders

Let homeless people occupy peopleless homes, build houses for use rather than exchange, 3D print comfortable houses in a day, convert corporate skyscrapers into housing and commercial malls into publicly-accessible community centers with living commons and entertainment

seconddoubt

When you say it to people and they break

“But the money? … we can’t just? But, Money? We can’t just… help… people? Can we? The Money. We can’t just help people? Like that? We can’t just? Money?”

xanaphia

To really break them, tell them it’s cheaper to give homeless people homes than it is to leave them on the street.

whatismgmt

Do u ever wanna punch urself in the face for procrastinating and ruining ur life

stereofeathers

yeah but I never get around to it

nicewarmbed-blog

peebles teach me how to be you

fairypikachu

can we just talk about this for a minute

because seriously i have so much respect for the adventure time team. they’ve made a successful cartoon that isn’t random poop and fart jokes for a solid eleven minutes. sure, adventure time has its immature moments, but then there’s parts like this.

pb’s backed up against the wall in a position that’s way too common in today’s society. you can tell she’s scared and uncomfortable. so what does she do? she beats the shit out of ricardio.

she doesn’t “play nice”, she doesn’t “let him down gently”, she tears off his limbs and stomps on his face. then ricardio tries to play the nice guy card and she has none of it. it’s refreshing to see something aimed at children that doesn’t state that girls need to be polite and sweet and stand by while someone makes them uncomfortable.

basically, i love this show and i love how it teaches girls something that’ll actually come in handy some day. god fucking bless.

littleainthecloset-deactivated2

And this is back on the dash again. Always reblog.

criticalalexandrite

I especially love the fact that she’s not treated as the villain for having to get violent to defend herself. We need more kid’s cartoons that show that it’s ok to get violent to defend your life.

endangered-justice-seeker

LOUDER

ruby-white-rabbit

There’s a turtle in my yard laying eggs

This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose

I’m not ready to be a single mom

I know shit about reptiles

ruby-white-rabbit

I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth

Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer

ruby-white-rabbit

Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care

ruby-white-rabbit

I’m googling turtles right now. I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she’s a box turtle?

ruby-white-rabbit

70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??

timesalad

You a mom now

ruby-white-rabbit

Text from stepmom “watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They’ll eat the eggs so chase them off”

I’m gonna fistfight nature

ruby-white-rabbit

@mrswinterbarnes you’re not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow

I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye??

mrswinterbarnes

I don’t think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out

YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA

ruby-white-rabbit

DAMN IT SHARRON

First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this

Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??

ruby-white-rabbit

UPDATE

SHES BACK

ruby-white-rabbit

NEVERMIND

ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE

That’s two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me

odinspattern

Call this one Susan

smalltall

You’re like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit

stephplusone

I'm in the same boat. Guess who has 13 baby snappers just chilling in my yard. That I'm taking care of till they are bigger so I can release them to better homes.

alanprickman

wednesdaydreams-deactivated2022

#the most important moment in cinema history

raspberrychengyi

#so james bond the king of england and bootstrap bill turner walk into a bar….

schauspielerin

In an incredibly bold move, the British Academy of Film and Television Arts announced last week that it will no longer nominate and award works that do ...

“In an incredibly bold move, the British Academy of Film and Television Arts announced last week that, beginning in 2019,works that do not demonstrate inclusivity in their production practices will no longer be eligible for its annual awards, the BAFTAs, often considered the U.K. equivalent of the Oscars. Eligible projects must showcase this in two of the following ways, as the BBC reported: On-screen characters and themes, senior roles and crew, industry training and career progression, and audience access and appeal to underrepresented audiences.”

heathens-and-kings

The angry whites in the comments really tell me that this was a necessary and good decision to combat the overpowering whiteness of film. Representation, on and off screen, matters.