5194 Miles from home. Seattle to Seoul. Musician. Guitarist. Writer. ESL Teacher in Seoul, Korea. Thinking the big thoughts. Peace, Love, and Rock Guitar. 🤙🏻✌🏻❤️☯️🎸🎶🎵🌌🌉🌃 Living the life in Korea. 🇺🇸to🇰🇷. 스티븐 입니다.
I knew from a young age that whatever foundations my childhood were based on needed to be changed.
I was too young to really affect any change to that foundation, but I still knew enough that the foundation of my childhood needed to be fixed, repaired, or possibly destroyed.
I chose destruction. Why? I got tired of being a fearful person. I didn't want to be a person that was afraid of other people anymore. I wanted to have control of my life, doing the things that I wanted to do, around people that I wanted to be around, in a place where I wanted to be.
Those changes took years. I had to live life first. From my childhood, teen years, and into my adult years I knew that I needed to do things that would lead to change. By the time I was a young adult, I knew that my assumptions and premonitions I had in my childhood were mostly correct.
I knew I could be so much more than what almost everyone around me thought I could be.
The changes I chose to put myself through were tough to go through. There were a lot of hard lessons learned. There were many times I felt utterly humiliated.
But I persisted.
I finally destroyed that warped and flawed foundation from my childhood and built myself an amazing neew foundation on which I have built much of my adult life. It was hard work but I'm proud of that work.
Would I do it again? Heck no. The experiences I went through are the ones where it's a priceless memory, but no amount of money would make me go through them ever again.
I learned what I needed to learn, and that's the most important thing.
White Americans ... are terrified of sensuality and do not any longer understand it. The word “sensual” is not intended to bring to mind quivering dusky maidens or priapic black studs. I am referring to something much simpler and much less fanciful. To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the breaking of bread. ... Something very sinister happens to the people of a country when they begin to distrust their own reactions as deeply as they do here, and become as joyless as they have become. It is this individual uncertainty on the part of white American men and women, this inability to renew themselves at the fountain of their own lives, that makes the discussion, let alone elucidation, of any conundrum—that is, any reality—so supremely difficult. The person who distrusts himself has no touchstone for reality—for this touchstone can be only oneself. Such a person interposes between himself and reality nothing less than a labyrinth of attitudes. And these attitudes, furthermore, though the person is usually unaware of it (is unaware of so much!), are historical and public attitudes. They do not relate to the present any more than they relate to the person.
Here is the entire original Aug. 17, 1990 Barbara Walters ABC 20/20 interview of Donald Trump :
Barbara Walters Interviews Donald Trump on ABC's 20/20 - August 17, 1990 | Roll Call Factbase Videos
How anyone could see this interview and not realize that Trump was a sleazy businessman and human being is beyond me.
Barbara Walters doesn't let Trump get away with anything! Too bad contemporary journalists are too afraid to interview him the way Walters did. (Still, Trump wasn't a vengeful president back then. )
PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT* (Starting at 03:04 on the full 20/20 video)
Note. Not captured in the transcript is the two of them often talking over each other.
WALTERS: While the new book is entitled "Surviving at the Top," there are many people who would say, "failing at the top."
TRUMP: Well, I think what the press has done is taken a situation where they see something and blown it to kingdom come. I've never seen anything like it. Whether it's a marriage, by the way, or whether it's financial, I've never seen press reporting as I have with regard to me. I hope the general public understands how inherently dishonest the press in this country is.
WALTERS: As a member of the press, let me try to clear up some of the things which you say are untrue. You write in your book,
“My bankers and I worked out a terrific deal that allows me to come out stronger than ever. I see the deal as a great victory and eventually the rest of the world will too.”
WALTERS: Being on the verge of bankruptcy? Being bailed out by the banks'—
[Trump tries to cut in]
TRUMP: Well, you don’t have to…—
[Walters makes a hand “stop” gesture 🖐️and goes on.]
WALTERS: —support? Skating on thin ice and almost drowning? That is a… That's a businessman to be admired?
TRUMP: You say on the verge of bankruptcy, Barbara, and you talk on the verge, and you listen to what people are saying—
WALTERS: I talked to your bankers.
See more of the transcript of Walter's impressive interview with Trump under the cut, including excerpts on:
Trump's Debts and Assets (ST 04:53 on the 20/20 video)
How Trump Thinks Others Perceive Him (ST 09:12 on the 20/20 video)
Trump's Copy of Hitler’s Speeches (ST 09:35 on the 20/20 video)
Infidelity, Marital Problems & Parenting (ST 12:11 on the 20/20 video)
TRUMP: Well, that's fine. And what did they say? I mean, you know, depending on which banker you're talking to—
WALTERS: Several.
TRUMP: —what did they say? The deal I worked out is in the process. The deal I worked out is something that I think is good for everybody. The economy is down the tubes. Nobody knows how bad the economy is. I listen to the people on Wall Street, talking about the possibility of a recession. We're not in a recession. We're in a depression. Now, when you're in a depression, you have to sort of go with the punches. You have to go see your banks, you have to deal with people, you have to work things out. And there are a lot of people — unfortunately, I'm the only one people write about. I mean, they don't write about other people.
Trump's Debts and Assets (ST 04:53 on the 20/20 video)
WALTERS: You have a little more debt than most people. You have something like $3 billion in debt.
TRUMP: I also have a little more assets than most people.
WALTERS: Okay.
TRUMP: You know, it's sort of an interesting phenomenon. I have many friends — they are negotiating with their banks the same as I am. And I always say to them, "How come you never get any publicity? You don't end up on the front page of the various garbage tabloids."
WALTERS: They weren't on the front pages to begin with.
TRUMP: Well...
WALTERS: They don't have 50 magazine covers behind them.
TRUMP: I'll tell you, they also don't end up in "The Wall Street Journal," and I do.
WALTERS: Let's try to be accurate.
TRUMP: Go ahead.
WALTERS: Some of your friends have told us that you deliberately missed a payment on the Trump Castle debt, so that you could negotiate this deal with the bank. Is that true?
TRUMP: Did I deliberately miss it? In other words, did I just say "I'm not paying it?"
WALTERS: Yeah, because, "then I can deal with my banks, and I can get short-term agreements over the long term."
TRUMP: Well, I don't want to comment as to whether or not I deliberately missed a payment.
WALTERS: Why not? That's important.
TRUMP: I think that the deal that's been worked is a fair deal. The Castle is doing very well, it's starting to deal really well. Atlantic City is in the midst of a recessionary area. People are not going down like they used to, because they don't have the money.
WALTERS: And the Taj Mahal, which was going to save everything, is just about breaking even, and your other two casinos are down 20 percent from last year. You have debts to pay back.
TRUMP: Right.
WALTERS: You have huge loans to pay back. You say the country is in a depression. What makes you think that you can pay back those loans? And further, what your bankers have told us is that the only way you even have a chance is by selling that property out there totally, The Plaza.
TRUMP: Well, I don't know what the bankers have said. The Plaza's a very valuable property. Everybody told me, "Oh, you paid too much. You paid too much." Now they're all saying, "What a great deal he made on the Plaza."
WALTERS: No, they're not.
TRUMP: Well, I think you'll find that it's a great deal, when the deal is all said and done. I mean, the Plaza is doing very well. The Taj Mahal broke every record. That doesn't mean it's doing well, but the Taj Mahal, last month, had the highest win in the history of casino gaming.
WALTERS: I know, but it still was not en[ough]—it just barely broke even in terms of what it cost you.
[....]
How Trump Thinks Others Perceive Him (ST 09:12 on the 20/20 video)
WALTERS: In your book you say, "Success is so often a matter a perception." What do you think the perception of you is today?
TRUMP: I really don't know what the perception is. I think people see me as a fighter. I think people have always seen me as a fighter. They know that I don't take a lot of crap from people and from others. And my life would be a lot easier if I did, to be perfectly honest.
Trump's Copy of Hitler’s Speeches (ST 09:35 on the 20/20 video)
WALTERS: In the current issue of “Vanity Fair,” the author, Marie Brenner says that you read from Hitler's collective speeches, “My New Order.” And that these are speeches that you seem to admire. What's your reaction? Do you have this book? Do you have these speeches?TRUMP: It is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. A friend of mine sent me a book. A man who I think is Jewish, although I don't know -- sent me a book. It happened to be that book. All of a sudden Marie Brenner somehow found out that he had sent me a book. It is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen, and I'm probably going to sue "Vanity Fair" over it.
WALTERS: The author, Marie Brenner, quotes you as saying to her, "When a man leaves a woman, especially when it was perceived that he has left for a piece of ass -- a good one -- there are 50 percent of the population who will love the woman who was left."
TRUMP: I do remember saying that. I don't remember having used those words. That's possible. But I believe that if a man leaves a woman for almost any reason, that that particular person, the man, is going to be at a major disadvantage in terms of the public eye, there's no question about it.
WALTERS: Do you think that your marital problems with Ivana, in some way, cause some of this to happen?
TRUMP: Probably.
[....]
Infidelity, Marital Problems & Parenting (ST 12:11 on the 20/20 video)
WALTERS: You've said in your book that Marla Maples did not cause the breakup of your marriage, that you and Ivana would have split anyway. But didn't it hasten it?
TRUMP: No.
WALTERS: Had nothing to do with it?
TRUMP: That's an absolute correct statement. Marla Maples is a friend of mine. I have a lot of other friends. It — nobody caused…—
WALTERS: You treat the other friends the same way?
TRUMP: I mean they had me — they had me going out with every woman in the United States.
WALTERS: We're not talking about that. We're talking about this one.
TRUMP: Marla Maples is a friend. I have a lot of friends. Did it hasten the breakup? Absolutely -- in my opinion, absolutely not. The breakup was going to occur. And I'm not going to disparage Ivana. You'll never hear me disparage Ivana, for one reason. She's the mother of my children, I'm not disparaging. But you grow apart.
WALTERS: While we're talking about Ivana as a mother, there have been reports recently, in the paper, some of them attributed to Marla, that Ivana is not a good mother. That she has left her children this summer. But the truth is that she is with her children right now, on a boat… —
TRUMP: I think Ivana's a very good mother.
WALTERS: Okay.TRUMP: Ivana's a good mother.WALTERS: And the -- also, the truth is, that you yourself said that you saw your children maybe once a week. You're having a lot of difficulties with your 12-year-old son, Donnie. You haven't talked to him since May. I mean, this is a very painful situation.TRUMP: I am not going to disparage Ivana as a woman or as a mother.WALTERS: You do say she is a good mother.TRUMP: I say she's a good mother. I say that Ivana is fine. As far as myself, I think I'm a very good father. I've been a very good provider, and I guess you have to leave it like that, Barbara. I mean, what can I say?WALTERS: Do you believe in fidelity in marriage?TRUMP: Yes, absolutely I do. Absolutely. I think that there's nothing better than a good marriage. There is nothing worse than a bad marriage. I'm absolutely a believer in marriage, I'm an absolute believer in fidelity. But if a marriage isn't working, that's a different ball game.WALTERS: I want to clear something up. In your book, the new book, you say, "The fun is in the getting, not the having." Does that include women? No kidding.TRUMP: Interesting question. I think the hunt is always fun, whether it's deals, whether it's women, whether it's anything. I think, however, that with respect to women, there would be nothing that would make me happier than having a great marriage. An absolutely great marriage, and that would certainly supersede the hunt.WALTERS: My colleague, Diane Sawyer, did an interview with Marla, in which Marla said that she loves you. Do you love her?TRUMP: I'm not going to comment on it. I'm not going to talk about it.
You can see more of the transcript HERE.
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Primary transcript source: Roll Call Factbase; other sources: 01, 02, 03
But I knew who I didn't want to be. And sometimes that's all the reason you need to change your life and leave a place.
I left that place because the people made me feel like I didn't belong, they made me feel like I shouldn't have existed.
They made me feel like I shouldn't exist. What a terrible feeling.
As extreme as a decision it was, joining the military to get away from those people was the best decision I have made in my life so far. I didn't have to deal with them constantly bringing up embarassing events from my past so they could boost their own ego in front of their friends.
I could forge a new path in my life. A clean path.
It was tough, but it has worked out well for the most part.
By now, I'm most certainly a blurry memory, if not already completely forgotten to them by now. They are all now a blurry memory in my head as well.
I keep that memory in my mind for an important reason: I know I can be better than what they thought I could be.
I knew I could be better than I thought I could be.
I was right, and my current life is evidence to that fact.
“Don’t think about what can happen in a month. Don’t think about what can happen in a year. Just focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be.”
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