Summer is HERE! What have you and your team done to prepare for heavier foot traffic at your hotel?
In preparations for the heavy foot traffic at our hotel, we have devised a two-step (pun intended) plan for all of our guests. Firstly, wit and whimsy are at the forefront of our dubious scheme for the hoards of folk flowing into the hotel. Greet every-pony with a pun of their name. These puns can be as intricate or simple as we can make. For example, "Anna," could be greeted as, "Anna- Banana, welcome to the extravaganza bonanza! We are super excited to foster you for the duration of your stay. Gimme your money so I may serve you." Or, "Brent," could be greeted as, "Brent with the evocative scent! Are you here to pay the nightly rent?" just to name a couple of examples. With our quick-witted greetings out of the way, we can move on to the simplified check-in process. At our hotel, we strive to get these heavy-footed, clod- hopping, flip-flopping, new balance wearing, high beam eyeball having, question-asking, mouth breathing, Cro-Magnons out of our face and into their suite as efficiently and politely as possible. That's why we skip the ID, skip the small-talk, and get right down to brass tacks. We take their name at face value, just like in the IHG way of arrival video tutorials show, and we don't EVER authorize their payment card until checkout. By doing this simplified check in, we can get through twelve arrivals in a five minute span. That's the same amount of time it takes to check in one person using the old method! Skipping the verification does cause some headaches down the road, but as far as I'm concerned, that's a problem for the next shift. And if they can't solve it, it'll be up to the shift after them, and so on until it reaches corporate, where they solve everything. They way I see it, if we get a case of mistaken identity, that's just another chance to sell a room. Our second foot forward (another intended pun) in our two-step (didn't intend this pun, I'm sorry) plan is to go full fire marshal max occupancy. What this means is that every room has a maximum occupancy within the confines of the building allowed by the fire marshal. In accordance with this law, we have initiated the No Single-Sleeper Act. In the event that every room is rented out and we get a walk-in asking about availability, the guests who have been checked in will get a courtesy call informing them of our new No Single-Sleeper Act they consented to upon arrival into our building. When the hotel rooms are fully occupied, we will begin to fill the other rooms available. Every room will be filled to the brim, even the meeting room and storage closets. We sell these rooms at a discount, due to the lack of amenities we are capable of providing, but a sale is a sale; especially in this economy. Once the building is at the legally allowable occupancy, we can finally start selling out the empty parking spaces in the lot (provided there are any). Luckily, there are no limits to these spaces, as far as I am aware. We charge $5 per parking space if you don't have a room here. Since a person's vehicle is their own property, we cannot implement the No Single Sleeper Act upon them. Tough, but we can't allow a person's private property to be occupied without SOMEBODY getting out the Glock. By morning time, breakfast is a breeze. Our amazing breakfast staff dish out the slop to every guest in a double-file line, right out the exit. Housekeeping staff toss luggage and guest belongings right out the window. With these systems in place, we're prepared heavy foot traffic.
